Recovery - 10. Chapter 10

The atmosphere between Bonnie and Alex was never easy. Today it was frosty and tense. There were times when Alex felt she was almost disappointed that Kei was getting better. He was a lot easier to handle unconscious, at least from her point of view. The relationship between mother and son had never been a close one and it had deteriorated sharply in the last year.

Alex found himself resenting her presence. This was a special time, a personal time, at least it should be, and she was spoiling it. He couldn’t speak of personal things when she was there. When Maria arrived with a charged iPod it got worse.

“For goodness sake turn that thing down.”

“it’s not loud.”

“It’s too loud for a place like this.”

“It’s alright,” the nurse said, “I’ve heard worse and a lot louder. That will be fine. If it’s something Kei will respond to it can only be good.”

Bonnie glared at her but had no choice but to subside, although she kept huffing. She didn’t understand, either, why Alex and Maria massaged coconut oil into Kei’s hands and feet.

Every couple of hours, Alex helped the nurse turn Kei. He always had. Today, Bonnie insisted on doing it and Alex bit back a retort. She’d never been interested before, but she was his mother. As they settled him on his side, Kei moaned and sighed, snuggling himself deeper into the pillow.

“Kei? Kei are you there?” Alex bent down so his face was close to Kei’s. He held on tight to Kei’s hand and practically held his breath as Kei’s eyelashes fluttered and eventually heavy lids rose to flash his beautiful green eyes at Alex. Alex smiled and Kei tried to mirror it. He looked so tired. Alex squeezed his hand and Kei squeezed back, even though it was barely a twitch. Alex bit his lip and waited until Kei slipped back to sleep again before letting the tears slide down his cheeks.

“What’s the matter,” Maria asked, alarmed, from the other side of the bed.

Alex shook his head. “He smiled at me,” he said sniffing. “He smiled at me and squeezed my hand.”

“Haven’t I been telling you you’ve got a strong boy there?” the nurse said. He’ll be awake and talking in no time.”

It wasn’t that day though. That day Kei slept, but it became more and more obvious that it was sleep and not the profound unconsciousness he’d experienced before. He stirred and sighed and made efforts to turn in the bed. When Alex spoke to him he turned his head, even though he very rarely opened his eyes. He didn’t bother when it was anyone else, something that frustrated the hell out of Bonnie. Frank didn’t come near when Alex was there. He could hardly bear to look at him.

It was about ten o’clock that night when it finally happened. Alex was dropping asleep where he sat, exhausted by the excitement of the day. He was drooping over the bed, when he felt a twitch from the hand he held so carefully in his. Instantly awake, he raised his head to find Kei staring at him, a smile curving his lips.

“Kei?” He said. “Oh God Kei….” He couldn’t say any more and substituted words for gently stroking Kei’s hair. Kei closed his eyes and Alex thought he would go to sleep again as he’d been doing all day, but he didn’t.

Suddenly Kei opened his eyes and said “Alex.” His voice was scratchy and hoarse but it was the most beautiful sound Alex had ever heard and it left him stunned. “Alex,” Kei said again with so much emotion in his voice it overwhelmed Alex totally. It was just as well Kei fell asleep almost instantly because Alex sobbed like a child.

Alex didn’t have a very good night. He tried to sleep but three times he was woken by the nurse saying Kei was getting agitated, saying his name. As soon as Kei set eyes on him he’d smile and go straight back to sleep.

On the third occasion it was about six am and Alex didn’t think there was much point going back to sleep. The nurses had taken such a liking to him they allowed him to use the shower facilities so he went off for a shower. When he came back there seemed to be some sort of commotion. He ran the last few yards to Kai’s room.

Kai was practically thrashing in the bed with the nurse and his parents trying to calm him.

“What’s happening?” Alex cried. “What’s going on?”

Mr and Mrs Prince, standing on either side of the bed refused to move to let him get to Kei. The nurse, appearing frustrated, elbowed Frank out of the way.

“Alex. Thank goodness. He asked for you again and when you weren’t here he got rather agitated. See what you can do.”

“I think we can manage without him” Frank said. “Kei is our son after all? If he doesn’t recognise us he isn’t going to recognise him.” He actively tried to push Alex out of the way and Alex had to practically fight for Kei’s hand.

“Hey,” he said, ignoring Frank. “Hey, you. What’s all this? I can’t even have a shower without you throwing a freak out? Hey, come on, chill babe. It’s okay. It’s me. It’s Alex. I’m here babe.”

“Don’t call him that,” Frank snarled. Alex ignored him.

“Kei. Kei, darling, it’s me.” Alex stifled a grin. He wouldn’t usually have called Kei darling as he considered it something his mother would say, but he revelled in the fact that it made Mr Prince cringe.

As soon as he heard Alex’ voice, Kei began to calm and eventually he lay quiet, panting a little. Alex pushed Frank away and sat down, stroking Kei’s hair, which was damp and sticking to his head.

“What’re you doing, huh? Ssh now. Calm down.”

Kei’s eyes fluttered open. “A…A….lex,” he whispered.

“I’m here. You know I wouldn’t go far.”

“Alex.”

“Yes, I’m here.”

Kei made a strange hissing sound and Alex leaned closer to hear “What’s the matter babe,” he said, “What’s wrong?”

Gradually he became aware that the hissing was part of a word Kei was trying to say.

“Chill out babe. Just take a minute. I can’t understand what you’re saying.” Kei closed his eyes and gradually relaxed. Alex thought he was asleep until he tried to let go his hand to deal with his father. Kei grabbed desperately and cried out

“No.”

“Alright, alright. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“No, no.”

“Kei, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I wasn’t going to go anywhere. I was just going to talk to your dad. Your dad’s here, you’re mam too. Can you hear them. Do you know they’re…?”

Kei cut him off, squeezing his hand. He whimpered then made the strange hissing sound again.

“Kei, I know you’re trying to say something but I can’t understand. It just sounds like you’re hissing at me.”

For a moment Kei went still. His eyes fluttered and rolled but he wasn’t letting go, not this time. “Ssss… Sss…..Sssc…Sc….Sce…Sce….” He blinked and Alex realised with a little thrill of surprise he couldn’t focus his eyes and speak at the same time. He concentrated hard. What was Kei trying to say. Suddenly it hit him.

“Scared? Are you scared? Is that what you’re trying to say?” For a moment Kei’s eyes were perfectly clear and Alex could see the fear there. “Ah babe, don’t. Please don’t be scared. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to get better now. You’re awake and getting better and I’m here. I’m going to be here with you all the time, but you have to remember that I need to pee now and again.”

A tiny smile curled Kei’s lips then disappeared as his lips twitched, trying to form words.

“Rest now. You’ve done enough. You’re obviously exhausted. When you’ve rested maybe we can talk some more, yeah?”

Kei blinked and nodded his head, then closed his eyes and went to sleep. Alex felt somehow hollow inside.

“He’s scared,” he said blankly, his voice flat.

“Of course he is,” the nurse said. “He’s bound to be. Imagine how it would feel to wake up in a place like this, not knowing where you are or what’s going on and not having the strength to be able to ask. The poor thing must be terrified, but he’s calm when you’re here Alex, and when he really starts getting stronger he’ll stop being so frightened.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Think about it logically.”

“Yeah, I suppose. I guess you’re right.”

“This is outrageous,” Frank said. “Our son is frightened and you’re doing nothing about it. The boy is helpless. Of course he’s afraid. What do you intend to do about it?”

“What do you think can be done for it. His fear will lessen as he improves and starts making sense of his world. He’ll be fine.”

“I demand….”

“Wait now, hold your horses. I’m wondering….are you really in a position to demand anything? We can’t tell you if Kei is scared, how scared he is or what he’s scared of. No one can so there’s little point in making a fuss out of it. And, if we did know, we could ‘t do anything more to alleviate it. He’s very confused and can’t listen to reason. All he can do is listen to a voice….Alex’ voice. Only Alex’s voice.

“Nonsense. He’s our son. He’ll obviously listen to our voices too.”

“I wasn’t seeing much evidence of that.”

“I….”

Alex couldn’t bear the fact they were arguing in front of Kei again and tried to mediate. “Look, can we please stop arguing about this? The important thing is that Kei feels safe with someone until he’s together enough to know what’s going on.”

“I don’t want you anywhere near our son. If you hadn’t got your claws into him he wouldn’t be here right now.”

“Are you trying to suggest I’m responsible for Kei’s brain tumour? You’ve accused me of a lot of things but I thought I’d get away with that one.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Alex. Of course we aren’t trying to accuse you of that. That’s no one’s fault. But if he wasn’t here with you we’d have been able to look after him. He’d have been with his family. We know him and would have noticed something was wrong sooner. If we had, maybe things would have been very different.”

Alex felt as if he’d been punched in the stomach. They couldn’t have picked anything that hurt more. “Maybe,” was all he could say.

“I think we can take it from here, Alex,” Frank said.

“What? What do…? Are you serious? Are you seriously suggesting I leave?”

“Don’t you have something else to do?”

Frank’s voice was so cold you could have made an ice pop on his words. Alex stared at him in amazement. “Were you here, just now? Did you see what happens when I leave Kei?”

“He was frightened, sick and confused. Next time he wakes we’ll know what he’s trying to say and….”

“I think you’ll find,” the nurse said, “that it’s not just understanding what he says that’s important to Kei. He wants Alex. He needs Alex.”

“Well, it’s not up to him. He may be ill but he still can’t be allowed to dictate everything that happens in here.”

“I’m sorry to disillusion you, Mr Prince but, considering we’re all here just for him, I’m afraid that actually he can.”

“That’s nonsense.”

“If you feel strongly about it I’ll arrange for you to speak to the doctor. I’m sure he’ll be able to explain things to you far better than I can.”

Frank glared at her. “Just get out,” he said finally.

“Make me.”

“Frank, this pointless arguing isn’t helping anyone, least of all Kei. Let’s just try to get along.”

“Bonnie, you know…”

“Yes, I know, but Kei is our son and at the moment I’m prepared to do just about anything to help him get better. If Alex can do that we should be grateful not making things difficult for him.”

“I think we need to talk,” Frank said coldly staring at his wife with a look that would have made Alex flinch. Bonnie merely smiled at him.

“I think that would be a good idea. We’ll be leaving Kei in good hands.” Alex was very surprised to feel Bonnie’s hand on his shoulder as they passed.

“How on earth did someone as sweet as him come from those two?” the nurse asked when they had gone.

“I’ve asked myself that question more than once,” Alex said. “Kei’s asked it too.” The nurse smiled at him.

A little while later Rose appeared. “Are you alright? What happened?”

“What do you mean.”

“Bonnie and Frank came into the waiting room like raging bulls. He’s been tearing a strip off her. Not that she’s letting him get to her. She’s giving it as good as she gets.”

“We had a little…disagreement.”

“Really?”

“He’s having a hard time with the fact that Kei wants me and not them.”

“What do you mean?”

Alex told her what had happened and he hugged her close. “It’ll be alright” she said tousling his hair. “Hopefully, Kei will get better in leaps and bounds from here on and it will stop being an issue.”

“Maybe, but there will always be issues between them. He’s never going to have a good relationship with them, is he?”

“Maybe not but, as much as it might not seem like it to you, this experience has changed Bonnie and Frank. They’ve calmed down a lot and at they seem to be able to at least tolerate you now. You’re no longer the evil monster that stole their son.”

“That’s not what they said just now.”

“Really?”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. The important thing is that Kei’s getting better all the time. He’s talking to me. He’s actually talking to me.”

“That’s wonderful, Hun. It not only shows that he’s getting better, it shows how much he loves you too.”

“Yeah…Yeah, I guess it does.”

“So, what did he say?” She sat down next to Alex and brushed Kei’s hair out of his face. Kei moaned softly and turned his head away.” He’s a lot more reactive now, isn’t he?” Rose said, surprised.

“Oh yeah. He’s scared though, Mam, and that worries me. He said he’s scared. He freaked out when I wasn’t here. I hate to think of him being scared and not able to do anything about it or even tell us. The nurse said it’s natural and will get better but in the meantime….”

“Alex,” the nurse said, “as long as you’re here you’re his anchor. He won’t be scared when you’re at his side and he can hear your voice. In a day or so he’ll lose that burning desire and he’ll be fine without you. For now you have a boyfriend who needs you more than anything in the world and that means he loves you more than anything in the world. If that doesn’t strengthen your relationship nothing will.”

“It doesn’t need to be strengthened and I knew exactly what he thought of me before…. But it does feel good that he wants me this much.”

“Are you alright about it, baby? It’s a lot of pressure on you.”

“It’s not pressure that I don’t want. I love him so much.”

“I know that. I’ve always known that. He’s a lucky boy despite all this. In a year you’ll have forgotten this ever happened but your love will be just as strong if not stronger.”

“I hope so.” Alex said, getting absorbed in Kei. He was so pale and still bloated, but more beautiful than ever. It was strange. Kei had been Kei all the way through. At least Alex had thought that, but something changed profoundly when he started to respond again. He hadn’t noticed when the life went out of him half as much as he noticed when the life came back. Even asleep, he seemed more awake.

“What the hell did you say to Mam and Dad?” Maria asked an hour later, sneaking in gingerly.

“Nothing. They just went off on one about Kei wanting me to be here and not them.”

“He said?” she asked brightening. “Kei said he wanted you?”

“Well, not exactly. He just gets upset when I’m not here.”

“Of course he does, he loves you. Don’t you,” she said bending over her brother and kissing his forehead. Kei sighed and muttered something and Maria jumped back like he’d bitten her. “Hell.” She looked up at Alex, her eyes wide. “It’s really happening isn’t it? He really is waking up.”

“Yes. Yes, he is.”

“I’m scared,” she said, reaching for Alex’s hand.

“Scared? What are you scared about?”

“That something will go wrong.”

“Nothing’s going to go wrong, not now. It just couldn’t.”

“I hope so. It’s been so hard….”

Alex hugged her. “I know. I know it’s been hard.”

Maria sagged in to his side and rested her head on his shoulder. “I’ve been so scared, Alex. I’m not going to lie, there were lots of times I thought he’d never get better, never wake up ever again.”

“Not for me there weren’t. Not once. Not for a second. I knew he was going to be alright, I knew it in my heart and I trusted it absolutely.”

“It must be so great to love someone that much.”

“You don’t love Jace that much?”

“No,” she said shaking her head, “at least not yet. I’m working on it though.”

Alex smiled and hugged her tighter.

“Alex?” Kei asked in a voice that was stronger than any he’d heard so far.

“I’m here, babe,” Alex hastened to reassure him.

Kei murmured something in his sleep again. He didn’t sound scared this time and it made Alex smile.

“Alex.”

“Kei? I’m here too. Maria.”

“Ma… Ma….” Kei opened his eyes and struggled to focus on her. He smiled.

“Oh Kei, Kei, I love you so much. I’ve been so worried, so scared.”

“No.”

“I know, I know. It’s alright now. I’m fine now. I’m so, so happy that you’re getting better.”

Kei smiled. Then he frowned and licked his lips. “I… I…ha…ha…py.”

“Oh, Kei.” Maria threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.