A Love Story with a Prisoner of War - 19. Love is Love

‘What do you want?’ I said, irritation welling up in my chest.

‘What are you two doing? I want know.’ Otto said as his devilish smile disappeared.

‘It’s none of your business.’ I said harshly.

Axel, who had just arrived at the door, interrupted, ‘What happen Otto?’

Seeing the arrival of Axel, Otto immediately switched to German. After a few lines of exchange, neither of them spoke. Awkwardness seemed to be touchable in the silent air.

‘What does he want?’ I asked Axel.

‘He… He…’ Axel replied, struggling.

‘I want to watch you.’ Otto interrupted, assertively.

‘What?!’ I said, raising an octave. ‘Watch us?’

‘I want watch you two sex.’ Otto said, without an ounce of shame in his voice.

‘You must be kidding me. You must be kidding me. Watch us making love? You must be kidding me.’ I said as exasperation and bafflement cracked my voice.

‘I… I… want…’ Otto said, unable to continue. Tongue-tied, he eyed Axel for help.
‘Otto want know… em… em…if he likes boys.’ Axel muttered.

Suddenly, the thought of being overheard by the adults dawned on me. So I immediately motioned Otto to come into the room.

As soon as the door was closed, I asked, ‘Can’t you figure it out on your own? This is such a personal issue!’

‘I don’t know. I… I don’t know… I’m lost…’ Otto replied. His voice was shaking and sounded like he was about the cry.

‘It’s not that I don’t want to help you, but your request is way too unacceptable.’ I said, trying not to shout at him.

‘Last night, Axel kiss you. I want to know if I want the same.’ Otto said, sadness now clearly audible in his voice.

‘You will find out.’ Axel joined in the conversation unexpectedly. ‘I not sure if I love Xavier first. I so not sure. But… you just know… he smiles, I smile; he sad I sad. The person you want be with all time is the one you love. You will find out. And I find my love for Xavier grow day after day.’

Hearing him say that, my heart came to a standstill, my thought became incoherent, my mouth became glue-shut. I felt like I was drowning deep in Axel’s love.

‘Boys and girls. Not matter. If you love someone, you just know. Love is beautiful.’ Axel continued.

Although Axel’s speech was short and mostly ungrammatical, it was unbelievably moving and heart-warming. And it just reminded me once again that I would literally give my right arm for Axel’s unconditional love.

Otto, as he stood there letting the words sink in, nodded silently. Axel then murmured something softly to Otto in German. Suddenly, Otto’s handsome face crumpled up a little and tears began its slow journey down his face.

‘Come here.’ I said, putting my arms around him.

‘I’m lost…’ Otto’s voice was choking with sorrow. ‘What I am? I do not know. I want love. But I do not know… boy or girl. I don’t know. I don’t know.’ Otto said, kept choking.

‘It’s okay. Boy or girl is not a matter. Love is love. Love is beautiful. There is no difference between loving a boy or a girl. Love only makes the world a better place.’ I said, patting Otto gently as I felt my right shoulder got wet. ‘I was crushed when I found out I love Axel. But everything will be all right in the end. Girl or boy, doesn’t matter.’ I continued.

‘How to know I like which. I don’t want boys but I can’t forget yesterday you two kiss.’ Otto said, still sobbing.

‘Time will help you do the job.’ I said, slowly breaking away from the hug. ‘Don’t cry. We are here.’

After calming down for a moment, Otto gradually regained his composure.

‘We are here with you. Guter freund.’ Axel said tenderly. [Guter freund means good friend]

‘Everything will be all right. You will find your true love very soon. It’s okay to love boys. Don’t stress yourself out’ I said.

‘Danke Axel. Thank you Xavier.’ Otto replied. [Danke means thank you] ‘I am sorry disturbing you two. I can’t forget your kiss. I’m lost. But sorry.’ Otto said apologetically.

Knowing his request would not be granted, Otto began his way out. When he was about to exit the door, he turned around and stared at Axel…

What happened next nearly gave me a heart attack ––––
Axel and Otto were standing only a meter apart. When I was expecting Otto to leave, he, instead, walked to Axel… and… and… stole a kiss from Axel! Seeing this scandalous and blood-curdling scene, I nearly passed out. The kiss left me gasping in disbelief. A few inches away from me, Axel was riveted to the ground, too shocked to respond. It was a mercy that the kiss lasted shorter than a second. When Otto’s lips parted from Axel’s, Otto whispered something to Axel. Then, swiftly and delightedly, Otto slithered away from the room.
Axel and I stood transfixed with sheer shock, unable to comprehend the situation. I felt a gigantic lump in my throat as fury engulfed my entire body.

‘What… What did he say to you?’ I finally managed to utter.

‘He says… He say… He say he… he think he love me.’ Axel replied.

*   *   *

Early in the morning.
Knock… knock … knock…
‘Who’s that?’ I said dreamily.

‘It’s me. Jake. Open the goddamn door.’ A familiar voice replied.

My brain endeavored to identify that voice ––– Jake? That’s a scarily familiar name. Who is Jake?
When my brain finally found a match to that voice and name, I dashed to the door.

It had only been a mere of 30 hours since we last met, but it actually felt like an entire century since we last seen each other. Jake, as familiar as ever, was now standing right in front of me.

‘Oh my god! Xav. Thank god you are here. Andy lets me in. Xavier. Mum’s mad! She’s mad! She has been ranting and raving since you left. Yesterday, she was kneeling on the floor, praying non-stop. She placed some knives on the dining table and said that if she ever sees you again, she will hurt you.’ Jake was talking so fast that I could even feel the urgency and gravity in his voice. ‘And this morning, she was throwing dishes on the ground, tearing up books, destroying the house. It scared the crap out of me but I knew she must be stopped. She was resting on the kitchen chair, crying when I tied her up with a rope. Xav, Xav, please, tell me what I should do. Please come back. Mum was beyond my control. Gosh. Please tell me this is nothing but a nightmare.’

‘Jake, I’m so sorry for everything, but it’s really not my fault. There’s no way I will ever go back, especially if she said she would hurt me. Axel and I are in love, so she threw us out. She thinks this is wrong, but there’s no way I can change my feeling for Axel and who I really am. If she is a lunatic, let her be. I don’t know how I can stop her or when she will stop acting like a mad man. But Jake, which side are you on? Mum or me?’

‘Neither of you. I just want our old life back.’ Jake said, tears forming in his eyes.
‘I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen. There’s no turning back.’ I said, putting my hands on Jake’s shoulders.

‘But where will you go? Are you going to stay at the Williams' forever?’ Jake asked, voice shaking.

‘I don’t know. Right now, there’s nowhere we can go, but I’ll find a way after the winter is over. Axel and I are not going back home. The house is too dangerous for us, and you may be hurt if you stay with mum any longer.’ I said, trying my best to contain my composure.

‘Xavier. Why do you have to love Axel? He is a boy! Find a girl to love.’ Jake asked accusingly.

‘Jake, you’re too young. Love is like a hard drug, once you have your first taste of it, you will be addicted to it. I love Axel, I really do. There’s no way I can deny my own feelings.’ I said, hoping Jake would understand.

‘Fine. Just tell me what I should do with mum right now.’ Jake said as if he didn’t hear what I’d just said.

‘Keep her on the kitchen chair. She may hurt you if she is released. She needs time to calm down, and she deserves to be tied up.’ I said, feeling slightly pleased that my horrible mum was being held captive to the kitchen chair.

* * *