A Love Story with a Prisoner of War - 11. The Last Masturbation

To be very very honest, I was expecting some touching and kissing in the barn. When I was planning the surprise for Axel, I was fantasizing that, after singing the German birthday song, Axel would hold me in his arms and French kiss me. Only a week ago, Axel said he wanted me for his birthday! He said that, and I gave him myself! Why did he say he wanted me if he didn’t mean it? Why? I thought he wanted more out of our relationship. That’s why I spent so much time in setting up the candles and learning the German birthday song. But in the end, not only had he rejected my love, but also re-emphasized the fact that we were ONLY friends. My heart nearly disintegrated at the moment he said that. My heart was bleeding love, and I felt like being burnt alive by the fire I had started. I should have known Axel was trouble, I should have known, I thought.

In the barn, soon after he said we were good friends, I blew the candles out and signaled Axel to follow me home. Well, he said we were good friends, so what’s the point in staying there? There was nothing else we could do, no kissing, no touching. As we walked back home, the sound of buzzing dragonflies occupied the space between us . Along the way, tears were welling up in my eyes uncontrollably. I wiped away my tears, pretending that everything was fine. I was so crushed that I almost wished Axel would simply vanish right before my eyes and never return. I hadn’t even glanced at him since the moment he said we were friends, so I had no idea what his expression or emotion were. And I didn't really care how he felt. Normally, it took 5 minutes to walk from the barn to the home, but that night, I was striding so fast that the walk took about half of the usual duration. I was almost running, and I strode as if there were a monster chasing after me. I needed to cry alone in my room.

At long last, we were home. It was about 10 or 11 when we arrived, Jake and mum had already gone to their own rooms. I climbed upstairs and hurried back to my room, leaving Axel alone. I didn’t say goodnight to him or anything. I needed some times alone. Shutting the door behind, I jumped onto my bed and wept silently. My mind kept repeating the time he said he wanted me, the moment he said I was beautiful, and the minute he said we were nothing but good friends. It hurt. It hurt so bad that I felt my heart falling into pieces. I was over the moon when he said he wanted me; but now, he pushed me down the Great Canyon. I was crying into my pillow when someone knocked on my bedroom door.

‘Yes?’ I said in my cracking voice.

‘Xavier. Goodnight. Thank you. Beau…beau…ti…ti..ful.’ Axel said, his voice shaking.

I couldn’t respond to him promptly, for my brain had stopped functioning due to the overwhelming sadness. My confusion and sorrow were so tremendous that my mind could hardly understand what he said. I struggled to assemble my thoughts, and finally managed to utter ‘good night’ to Axel. Then, I heard footsteps walking away from the door, heading to the attic. He was gone.

And that night, I cried myself to sleep, unable to stop. Axel, I love you. I would give up the whole world just for you. I love you.

*  *  *

The next morning, I pretended nothing had happened. I greeted Axel but didn’t look him in the eyes. In the farm, I harvested alone and instructed Axel to milk the cows with Jake. I just treated him invisible all day long. I told Axel I would put the English lesson at night on an indefinite hiatus, claiming that I was not feeling well. Obviously, Axel could sense something strange was happening, but he didn’t dare to ask. We didn’t talk much the whole day and I was grateful that he didn’t ask what happened. Nothing eventful occurred in the morning or afternoon.

At night, I made a promise to myself. ‘Tonight will be the last night I fantasize about Axel.’ I swore to God that from tomorrow morning onwards, my love for him would die. I didn’t want to be his friend. We could be either lover or nothing.

Then, that night, for the very last time, I played with myself with the images of Axel in my head. I stripped down to my undergarment and lay comfortably on my bed. I wrapped up my pillow and kissed it hungrily, pretending that it was Axel. While I was kissing my pillow, I imagined planting kisses on Axel’s nipples, Axel’s bulging biceps, Axel’s pubes, Axel’s hairy underarm and so on.

Before Axel came into my life, I masturbated to the thoughts of doing a girl and tasting her private. Those thoughts could make my genital hard but they failed to excite me from head to toes. After Axel arrived, I finally understood how it feels to be helplessly aroused. The thought of him made me weak at the knees and the image of a naked Axel made all my blood run to my manhood.

After kissing my imaginary Axel, I took off my undergarment and began stroking my fully erected penis gently with my right hand. I spat at my adorable 7-inch manhood and started toying my pink glans tenderly with the other hand. Each stroke gave me an electrifying sensation that sent me straight into heaven. Pressurizing my glans and stroking my shaft while imagining a stark naked Axel was perhaps the most stimulating and sensual experience a 17-year-old farm boy could have.

‘Axel, put your cock in my mouth.’ I said softly to myself, imagining Axel’s beautiful cock was in my mouth.

My cock was leaking pre-cum helplessly and I gradually increased my pace.

‘Axel, fuck me.’ I whispered to the pillow.

I then inserted my middle finger into my butt hole, gently massaging my prostate. The massaging gave me pleasurable discomfort whereas the stroking gave me heavenly excitement.

‘Axel, make me yours. I love you.’ I said, imagining Axel pounding me hard. ‘You are the only thing I want.’

The moment of truth was near and I felt my muscles tense up.

‘Yes. Yes. Kiss me. Fuck me. Master.’ I said under my breath.

My manhood was begging me for release, so I gave in and began to pick up speed. I ignored my shaft and focused the intense stroking on my highly sensitive glans. Without much effort, I felt euphoria swept across my body and I finally reached the point of no return. My male essence rushed from my testicles to the opening of my cock, and yes, white liquids, load after load, spewed violently into the air. The climax was terrifyingly wonderful and my body was shivering in sheer enjoyment. My semen landed all over my pubic hair, abdomen and chest, a little even landed on my lips. I tasted my body liquid and I imagined it was Axel’s semen that I was tasting. Wow. I bet it tasted much better than the best dishes in the world combined.

‘Axel, I love you.’ I whispered to my pillow, for the very last time.

Feeling spent, I drifted off to sleep, not bothered to dry up the semen or wear the pajamas.

*  *  *

Next morning, I woke up feeling recharged. And yes, today is the day I begin to forget about Axel, I said to myself. I cleaned up my semen-covered body and then went downstairs. At the dining table, Axel was eating his breakfast silently. Mum and Jake had both gone out to the field.

‘Good morning Axel.’ I said icily.

‘Good morning Xavier.’ Axel said, smiling at me. ‘Xavier. I want know who learn you sing zum-ge-bur-stag-vi-gluck?’

‘It’s none of your business.’ I said, shooting him an irritated look.

‘Please Xavier. Tell…tell… me.’ Axel asked pleadingly as if he were going to cry.

I was baffled by his question and seeing him like that really killed me inside. So I told him it was Otto from the Williams’ who taught me.

‘Thank you Xavier.’ He said, staring me in the eyes. God, his eyes just melted my heart once again. ‘I want find Otto afternoon. Ok?’ He asked.

‘I don’t care!’ I said nonchalantly. I then picked up a piece of white bread on the table and walked to the field, leaving Axel alone with his unfinished breakfast.

Yes. Very soon, if I could keep up this nonchalance with Axel, I would stop loving him. I don't want to be his friend.