A Love Story with a Prisoner of War - 20. Son of a bitch

After Jake had left, I felt like my world was disintegrating. The scene in which Otto kissed Axel replayed and replayed in my head while the heart-ripping scream of my incensed mother echoed in my ears. Pain and sorrow flamed in my heart. I wanted to cry but the tears just couldn’t come out. I felt like I was lost in a labyrinth, unable to escape.

Axel, who had been sitting on the bed watching me, walked over and wrapped me up with his strong arms. It felt good to be hugged, but my heart was cold as ice. I was frustrated and saddened, not because I didn’t have a place to call home, but the fact that last night, after Axel was kissed by the bastard, I couldn’t spot any sign of distastefulness on Axel’s face! Instead, he looked rather undisturbed. I questioned Axel harshly about how he felt, but all he did was reassuring me that he had no feeling for Otto.

‘I love you. Not Otto.’ Axel repeated as we were lying next to each other last night.

It’s not that I didn’t believe in Axel, but I could sense that something terrible is looming somewhere slightly down the horizon. Being banished from my own home was already dreadful enough, but losing Axel would be lethal. I couldn’t risk losing Axel. I didn’t know what I would do without him. Even though we had only been together for a mere of 5 months, I had already grown so helplessly attached to him. If I were a sunflower, he would be the water, the sunshine and the soil. I was more than aware that this was not healthy, but I couldn’t help but feeling intoxicated and obsessed with his love.

Confront Otto was all I needed and had to do. I had to tell Otto bluntly that Axel was mine and exclusively mine. I wished I could stick a flag on Axel, proclaiming to the world that Axel was my property, and hence, no trespassers allowed. I honestly felt threatened, because Otto, in so many ways, was better than me – he spoke German, he was at least 2 inches taller, he was handsomer (in my opinion). Otto must be stopped before he laid his dirty hand on my man.

‘I love you.’ Axel whispered, in his strong baritone voice. ‘I’m here. Don’t sad. Otto I no like. I love only you. All things will be all good.’

His magic words were like applying lip balm on one’s painful chapped lips – so magnificently soothing and so tantalizingly sublime. When I decided to trust Axel wholeheartedly, a knock from the door broke the silence in the room.

Then, a delighted voice from the door shouted, ‘Axel!’

The voice had hardly uttered the last syllable when my brain worked out the identity of the person. Fuck, it was Otto – I thought.

I approached the door slowly as my brain formulated a list of tactics to handle this devilish young man.

Opening the door, I saw a smiling Otto. Seeing his graceless face made me want to slit open his throat.

Once the door was opened, Otto, not greeting me or looking at me, treated me as though I was invisible. He pushed me away and walked straight towards Axel. On Otto’s hand, there was a big tray. I glared at Otto as I stood there, feeling my blood vaporizing at boiling point.

He will pay for this – I thought as fury filling up my whole body.

‘Axel!’ Otto said, in an overtly loving tone. Then, he continued with rapid-fire German.

God damn you – I thought.

Axel, who looked utterly tetchy, didn’t respond to him at all. Seeing Axel being so indifferent to Otto filled me up with awe-inspiring splendor.

As Otto kept babbling in German, I approached the Germans – one that I loved, one that I loathed. Otto, as he spoke, placed the tray that he had been holding on the bedside table. Scramble egg, beacon and a piece of bread were neatly placed on top of a white plate. Next to the plate, a glass of milk was standing tall.

Sort of shocked to see what I saw, I shouted, as hostile as I could, ‘Otto, if you want to have breakfast, please eat outside. Your presence is not welcomed here.’

Turning around slowly, Otto looked me in the eyes.

‘Food is for Axel. I cook them.’ Otto said proudly as he puffed up his chest.

‘What? Why on earth did you make breakfast for my Axel?’ I said, letting the fury within me exude. I walked towards the tray, planning to take that piece of **** out of the room.

‘Don’t touch it!’ Otto demanded. ‘Axel loves to eat my breakfast. And he will eat it all up.’

‘Axel! Tell him that you WON’T!’ I shouted at the top of my lungs.

Unexpectedly, Axel looked at me helplessly.

‘Axel. Tell him.’ I repeated.

Despite hearing my words, Axel remained wordless. At that moment, I nearly wanted to punch Axel.

‘Well. Axel. Tell him what I tell you.’ Otto said as a devilish grin appeared on his face.

‘He… He said… He said… I have to eat. If… If not, he…he tell Andy and Stephen about us.’ Axel said, voice cracking.

‘WHAT?’ I said, unable to hide my disbelief.

‘You hear what he say. Axel do what I say or I tell Andy and Stephen. Do you understand?’ Otto said arrogantly as if he was the commander-in-chief.

I scowled at Otto with my jaw dropped on the ground.

‘Axel do what I say. Or do you want to leave this house?’ Otto said, firmness in his voice.

‘Son of a BITCH!’ I shouted, clenching my fist in anger.

‘You want fight? Come on.’ Otto said provocatively.

I raised my fist in the mid-air as fury blinded me.

When I was about to punch Otto in the face, Axel shouted ‘Xavier. No! No! No!’ He then dashed forward to stop me. ‘No! No! No!’

Axel wrapped me up in his arms tightly, stopping me to move forward. As Otto watched my aggression being stopped, he kept smiling victoriously at me which made me want to punch him even more.

After minutes of struggle in Axel’s hug, I gave up. I glowered at Otto, feeling the anger in my heart compounding exponentially.

Neglecting my hostility, Otto said to Axel in a tender voice, ‘Time for breakfast. I make them. They will cold soon. Xavier, you stand there watch Axel eat.’

I was sure that he spoke to Axel in English because he wanted me to understand his victory speech.

Fuck you! You will pay for what you did today – I thought.

Axel didn’t move an inch, but I could tell from his eyes that he was torn – he didn’t know if he should follow Otto’s order or refuse to eat. The latter option, he knew, would put himself and I into great trouble.

‘Axel. It’s okay. Just… just eat it up quickly.’ I said, even though my heart was saying the diametric opposite.

‘Axel. Eat up. If you don’t eat, I don’t know what I will tell Andy.’ Otto said as he stared at Axel, admiring his beauty.

His words and his gaze had the same effect of adding oil to fire on me – I had never felt so angry before.

Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I watched Axel picking the scramble egg up with a fork.

‘Eat up eat up. Is it yummy? Xavier, Axel loves my breakfast.’ Otto said, in an awfully irritating tone.

As Axel bolted down the food as fast as he could, Otto murmured something to Axel. Then, Axel frowned and his face turned into the color of disgust and anger. Otto, seeing Axel’s reaction, said something in German. After Otto had finished his words, moments of silence descended in the room. Then, Axel turned around and faced me. Slowly, Axel’s face creased into a smile, and hesitantly, Axel raised his hand and gave me a thumb up. Otto, grinning from ear to ear, looked at me victoriously and gave me a look that said ‘You want to bite me?’

I watched all these in utter disbelief, almost forgotten to breathe. I wanted to kill Otto, and tear him into million of pieces, but I knew Axel’s and my fate were in his hands – if he tell Andy/Stephen about Axel and I, we would probably be thrown into the cold and rot there. So, helplessly and reluctantly, I suppressed my fury with all my might as my mind kept shouting ‘Son of a bitch!’