A Love Story with a Prisoner of War - 22. 2 at a time

Early-January, 1942

Axel and I had lived under the Williams’ roof for nearly two weeks. Due to the glacial and inclement weather outside, we were like encaged animals in zoo, totally deprived of mobility. Day after day, the same things repeated - sleeping, eating and housework. Not having much to do, Axel and I were left with abundant time for each other – sexual adventure, pillow talk, touching and kissing. Those were the only things that made our humdrum lives meaningful and endurable.

When we had nothing to do, I would teach Axel English. He could now express himself very succinctly, but grammaticality was still missing in most of his utterances. Chatting with Axel was not totally painless, for I had to significantly slow down my speaking speed. We usually had a plethora of time even after English lesson, so instead of fiddling around, I would ask Axel to teach me German. Though the language used by the satanic Nazi and English are both Germanic (meaning that they originated from the same root), German sounded like Martian to me. After a week of German lesson, I discovered that in German, ‘w’ is pronounced as /v/, and interestingly, all nouns in German are capitalized under all circumstances, so they have sentences like ‘it is Winter’ and ‘Cats are Animals’. Though I knew mastering a foreign language, especially to a linguistically inept person like me, was far from easy, I wished one day my effort would pay off and I could chat with Axel in German, a tongue that Axel preferred and favored.

*    *    *

It was just another depressing and overcast winter morning – howling gust, endless snowfall, a dark sky and a sun that had forgotten how to shine. I actually quite liked this kind of weather – wind pummeling the windows, snow engulfing the house – a combination that reminded me how safe the house was. However, on that day, I found the weather eerily unnerving. When I woke up, my head was throbbing painfully, my eyes were aching from last night’s sleeplessness and my stomach was churning. As I gazed out of the window, an unaccountable glumness snaked its way along my spine, and I couldn’t help feeling disconcerted.

The unease feeling kept on boiling and my heart was in my mouth the whole morning. My sixth sense told me all these were the signs of misfortune, but what would happen? The nasty weather outside ruled out the possibility of my mum storming to where we were. And the Williams had no plan to visit my house. So at least, the secret could still be kept under the hat for one more day. But somehow, I just knew something was looming large slightly below the horizon and it bugged me that I didn’t know what the trouble was.

Everything was as usual as ever in the morning and I tried to convince myself that my premonition of misfortune was superfluous. I almost succeeded when a truck stopped in front of the house.

‘Hey! The Williams right?’ A male voice shouted.

No sooner had we heard the voice than everybody in the house, rattled by the unexpected guest, rushed to the door.

I opened the door and found a white-haired and round-faced man sitting inside a truck. His face was unfamiliar, so he must not be from the area.

‘G’ day. I’m supposed to find a POW called Axel at the Hudsons, but the young lad there told me he was here. So is Axel here?’ the man said. ‘Oh, and I’m an officer at the POW camp.’

It’s for Axel and it must have been Jake the officer had met – I thought, greatly perturbed by his visit. Is he going to take Axel away? – I fretted.

‘Yes. Axel is here.’ Andy replied. ‘How can we help you?’

‘I have a letter for him.’ The officer said, handing out a yellow envelope from the driver’s window.

Why on earth is there a letter for Axel in the middle of winter? – I thought. It must have been an urgent one; otherwise, the officer wouldn’t be bothered to come all the way from the POW camp.

Axel stepped forward and grabbed the letter from the officer’s hand, body shivering from the freezing cold. ‘Thank you.’ He said tensely.

The officer ignored Axel and turned to Stephen, ‘the Axis is losing the war since the Pearl Harbor Attack, but it’s good that another Nazi died. Bye.’ He had hardly finished his sentence when he stepped on the accelerator, moving onto his next stop. The sight of the truck soon disappeared into the white world.

What the officer said baffled me – ‘good that another Nazi died?’ What’s that supposed to mean? And a letter to Axel all of a sudden? – all these were exactly the smell of trouble.

As soon as the officer had left, an invisible spotlight shifted to the yellow envelope in Axel’s hand. Axel, noticeably discomfited, tore open the envelope and inside was a piece of folded paper. Unconsciously, I put my arm around Axel’s shoulders and drew him close, totally ignoring what the Williams would think of the intimacy. Axel unfolded the letter as curiosity tickled everyone in the house. I stared at the paper which had now been unfolded, but the fact that the messages were encrypted in German made comprehension beyond anyone’s but Axel’s ability. Without wasting another second, Axel glanced through the letter.

We were all expecting some translation from Axel, but the silence stretched on which soon turned into an awkward one. Suddenly, something caught my eyes – Axel’s hands were trembling. I immediately turned in the direction of Axel and what I saw next broke my heart– Axel’s eyes were glistening with tears. And they confirmed my guess about the content of the letter. And I learnt years later that yellow envelope signified death notice, that's why the officer knew 'another German' died

‘Come here.’ I said, wrapping Axel up with my arms, once again ignoring what the Williams might think.

Inside my arms, Axel was choking with grief. Even though I couldn’t see it, I could tell from the weeping sound that his tears were cascading like a waterfall. He held tight onto me as though if he let go, he would fall into the crater of a volcano.

‘It’s okay. Axel. I’m here.’ I said softly in his ear, patting him gently on his back – as much as I wanted to console his stirred soul, his woe was too much to be mollified.

The Williams stood helplessly around us, looking for some explanation.

‘What happened Axel?’ Andy broke in, slightly baffled by what he was seeing.

Axel was still too stupefied to respond, so I answered, ‘I think someone close to Axel had died.’

The weeping was suddenly punctuated by Axel’s trembling voice, ‘My brother…’ and the weeping went on.

‘I’m sorry, Axel.’ I whispered, holding him even tighter, ‘I’m here. It’s goin’ to be fine. It hurts to see you cry.’

Andy’s and Stephen’s wives, like any other women, were moved by the scene. Stephen’s wife, nose reddened, stepped forward and patted Axel on his shoulder.

‘Poor little soul. It will be all right, we are here with you,’ she said.

‘Xavier, take Axel back to Nicky’s room and lay him down on the bed. Let him cry. Sobbing his heart out is better than retaining all the sadness inside. Take care of Axel, Xavier.’ Andy’s wife said, hugging Axel briefly.

‘Come, Axel.’ I whispered, holding his hand, guiding him upstairs.

Tears trickling down, body shaking in anguish, Axel scrambled up the stairs as I held his hand, heading to our temporary bedroom.

After closing the door behind, I led the devastated Axel to the bed and laid him down. His eyes were puffy from crying and it hurt me like hell to see him hurting.

‘Sebastian.’ Axel mumbled, in a voice cracking with despair.

Sebastian was Axel’s 24-year-old brother who was very close to Axel.

‘I’m with you Axel.’ I whispered as I cuddled him from his back, trying to keep him warm. ‘We are getting through this together.’

‘I hate war.’ Axel said in a choked voice.

‘Me too,’ I agreed gently, ‘but it will come to an end sooner or later.’

Mentioning the end of the war lit up my mood but at the same time, saddened me. Who doesn’t want peace right? But once the war was over, Axel might have to go back to Germany. And just the thought of it petrified me.

‘Take a nap. Everything will be all right when you wake up.’ I said, wrapping Axel’s hands with mine.

‘We’ll be fine. I promise,’ I whispered, ‘sleep for a while. I will be right here with you.

The floodgate had finally closed after nearly an hour of unwanted opening whereas the shivering gradually eased as Axel drifted off.

Cozy and tired, I succumbed to the drowsiness that was snowballing in my head…

                               *      *      *

Some fearful wails downstairs woke me. Perturbed, I left the room and headed downstairs, leaving Axel behind.

In the drawing room, the Williams were sitting on the sofa, faces as white as paper. Stephen and his wife were sobbing like two little babies, totally uncontrollable.

‘Is everything ok?’ I asked, hoping mum didn’t come by.

‘We got the Temiskaming Speaker from the mailman just now.’ Andy explained as he comforted his crying wife. ‘And… and we saw Nicky’s name on the missing list.’

The Temiskaming Speaker arrived every Thursday, carrying an ever-lengthening list of Northern boys killed, wounded and missing in action.

‘Oh… No…’ I gasped, running to the Speaker placed on the table, hoping the adults had misread. As soon as I found the list, I scanned down the column which contained over a hundred names, and halfway through, I spotted a familiar one, Nick Williams.

‘No… please.’ I said as tears welling up in my eyes.

Nick and his twin brother, Jordan, were Stephen’s sons. They both enlisted in the army after the war broke out. Before they left, they were the most important persons in my life after my parents and Jake. They were not only my neighbor, but also my playmates and schoolmates. And Nick had been my best friend. My blood turned ice at the news of Nick went missing. Even though Axel was now the center of my universe, Nick had been and would always be a piece of me.

‘He ’s missing. We… we still have hope.’ I struggled, tears falling. Nick, please be safe. I need you in my life – I thought.

I went to hug Stephen and his wife, crying together with them. Seconds turned to minutes and we knew the crying couldn’t last forever. We tried our best to regain our composure and though we all knew the chance was slim, we reminded ourselves that Nick might still be breathing, somewhere on earth…

That night, no one had the mood for dinner. And sleep was probably the best medicine for the heartache. When I lay down on the bed next to the still-sleeping Axel, I wished I could reach the dreamland where pain and heartache did not exist, but that night, sleep didn’t come easy and the good old times with Nick were all I see whenever I closed my eyes.

‘Nick. Come home.’ I mumbled as I drew the sleeping Axel, who was probably dreaming of Sebastian, into my arms, trying to find some consolation…

*      *      *

Because of this war, I gained Axel, but lost Nick and my family. Should I thank this war or hate this war? I don't know...