You Make Me....Crazy - 13. Chapter 13

The One I Trust Most

After rehearsal at the Su-Am Center, the Rebellion dressing room hummed with tension. Jae sat sprawled on the couch they had provided, Junghee was leaning against the wall toying with his guitar pick, and Andre was pacing the length of the room. Their make-up artist had come and gone; they were dressed for their performance.

"What if no one comes?" Andre asked, stopping in the middle of the room. "I'm pretty sure no one bought the tickets. Not to mention Jaesun is having his showcase tonight too. Gods, I'm going to have a heart attack."

"Relax, Andre," Jae said lazily. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. "It's going to be fine. Harry promised the tickets were sold out."

"Are you sure he didn't buy them all?" Junghee asked with a soft scoff. "He's worked hard to make sure we didn't know that some venues refused our bookings. We are down to open-air concerts. What if it rains, or snows, surely-"

"Enough!" Jae said getting up to look at Junghee. "I don't think worrying is helping any of us right now."

"Jae," Andre said moving to touch his left arm. "Are you sure Jaesun will leave us alone now? Who knows what he'll say during his press conference later."

Jae nodded grimly. "I'm sure we'll not feature in his conference today."

"I really hope so," Junghee said shaking his head. "We need to catch a break."

There was a knock on the door and then Dan walked in all smiles. "How is it going? Are you in panic mode yet?"

"Jung and Andre are going insane," Jae said glancing at his best friends. "Andre is going to wear out a hole in the floor, and Jung is about to break his favorite guitar pick. Tell them there is nothing to worry about."

Dan stood staring at Jae in surprise. "Look at you! You are usually the worst."

Andre chuckled and Junghee hid a smile.

Jae shrugged and dropped onto the couch again. "I'm quite fine, thank you. This is a small stage, nothing compared to Sunday night when our tour starts."

"Well, I'm glad you're taking this so well. I came here to tell you it is almost time for the concert. I wanted to walk you to the stage one last time." Dan grinned. "I'm going to miss that too."

Jae stood up and hugged him tight. "Dan, thank you."

Andre joined them and Junghee came to wrap his arms around all of them.

"We couldn't have done it without you," Junghee said, messing up Dan's hair. "You're the reason we'll be standing on a stage in Seoul. Thank you."

"You're one in a million," Andre said quietly.

"Stop it, or I'm going to cry," Dan said, his voice hoarse. "Remember what I told you; concentrate on the music, and the stage, okay? Harry and I will handle the rest."

They all nodded and when Harry came to get them, they'd at least gotten back to normal.

As they walked through a wide corridor flanked by security, Jae tugged the black v-neck t-shirt he wore and adjusted the belt on his matching fitted black pants.

"Stop fidgeting," Dan said beside him. "You're on camera."

Jae dropped his hands to his sides and tried to stop the nerves wracking through him. The closer they got to the stage, the louder the chants came. The sound engineer met them right before the entrance, checking their microphones. Jae took in a deep breath, his heart beating hard in his chest. He took a step away from Junghee and Andre and turned away from the stage entrance.

"Jae?"

Dan touched his arm.

"Just a second," Jae said letting out air.

He bent over, trying to control his heartbeat; he took in another deep breath and closed his eyes.

"I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack."

"We have five minutes," Harry warned behind him.

Dan wrapped an arm around Jae’s shoulders and led him to a corner behind a huge column. They had a modicum of privacy, though curious eyes still watched them.

Dan moved to block everyone's view of Jae.

"Look at me, babe."

Jae pressed a hand into his chest and met his gaze. "I was fine in the dressing room. What's happening?”

"Take in a deep breath and let it out slowly," Dan said quietly. He cupped Jae's cheek and smiled. "You're panicking and in such a place where I can't do anything for you."

Jae let out a strained laugh.

"Pervert," he teased Dan.

Jae looked into Dan’s calm gaze as he let out a soft breath.

"This is huge, isn't it?" Dan asked.

Jae nodded.

He had dreamed of singing in Seoul since the day he'd left, from the moment N-sang had suspended their activities.

Almost seven years since he'd stood on a stage in Seoul, he thought. What if their fans hated them, he wondered. He was a different person from the one who had sung in Black Shade.

"Stop thinking so hard."

Dan's soft order made him glance up in surprise. How did the man always know what he was thinking?

"You've come a long way, and you're going to be fine. You, Jung, and Andre deserve this. Show them why they've waited so long for you."

Jae nodded and closed his eyes reaching for control.

"It's going to be fine."

"That's right," Dan said gently and leaned to kiss his forehead not caring what everyone would say. "I love you, Jae."

The simple kiss went a long way in calming him. Opening his eyes, he smiled at Dan and pulled him into a hug.

With a wicked smile, he whispered into Dan's ear, words he’d never said before.

"I love you too, Suk Dan."

He let go of Dan and hurried to Harry who was pointing at his watch frantically. Jung reached for his hand as he hurried up the steps leading to the stage entrance. He grinned as he joined his bandmates and turned to see Dan still standing by the column staring at him. He waved just as Harry patted his shoulder to lead the way on to the stage.

***

Jae had said he loved him.

Dan smiled wide as he watched Jae sing and felt a wave of love swell inside him. He had waited so long for those words, and now that he'd heard them, he just wanted to keep watching Jae.

The audience was wild with excitement, probably from not seeing Rebellion on stage in so long, or from Jae's mesmerizing voice, accompanied by Jung and Andre, or maybe just from the sight of the handsome trio.

They looked good under the stage lights, larger than life, all traces of panic gone as they played their music for the audience, stirring them up into frenzy. Five thousand people stood waving their hands, jumping to the music, singing along to songs they had released two days ago.

"Hello Seoul!" Jae shouted after the first three songs ended.

The audience screamed louder, the sound thundering. Dan couldn't help laughing at their enthusiasm.

"Ah, we've missed you so much," Jae, said. "We’ve hoped to hear you scream like that for so long. Thanks to a lot of hard work, we've finally managed to meet you, and even I want to scream in excitement. Should I?"

A loud resounding 'yes' filled the theatre and Jae chuckled. He brought the microphone to his lips and gave a loud thrilling roar that had their audience echoing it right back to him.

"Your excitement humbles me," Jae said when the audience had calmed down. "I'm happy to know that you've waited for us, as much as we've waited to stand before you. So, for the rest of this concert, scream and jump as much as possible, have fun, and let's celebrate this moment together."

"Mr. Suk?"

Dan turned to find a tall man in a dark suit standing a few feet away. The next song started on stage and Jae's voice filled the theatre. Dan took a step back to give his attention to the man who looked so out of place.

"How may I help you?" he asked the stranger.

"I'm from the FTC," the man said producing an identification card, which he handed to Dan. "I'd love a few moments of your time."

Dan glanced back at Jae, who was waving his left hand with the crowd as he sang. Dan urged the man to follow him back to a quieter area near the dressing rooms.

"What is an FTC official doing here?" he asked, frowning as he met the other man's gaze.

"My name is Yun Tae Ho. I'm actually here to be of assistance."

"Assistance," Dan repeated in confusion.

He hated being at a disadvantage; he had no idea why the Fair Trade Commission would come looking for him. Jade Entertainment carried fair contracts with all its artists and actors, and as far as Rebellion was concerned, they practically owned the company.

"We've been investigating insistent claims by Rebellion fans that there are those interfering with the band's activities, preventing Rebellion from carrying out regular activities, or promoting within the country."

"Rebellion fans," Dan said in surprise. "What do you mean ‘claims’?"

"For the last two years, we've received several petitions, each holding almost a million signatures at our offices. We ignored it at first, but the petitions came month after month until we decided to make inquiries. We couldn’t do much with the band abroad. Now that they’re back, it’s easier. We've followed the process of the band's album release closely. Yesterday, we finally got proof of interference. The cancellations you received at the venue in Daegu and the one in Seoul are no coincidence. The venue manager in Daegu won't give names but he does agree that he was asked to book another show in Rebellion's time slot."

"You're chasing ghosts, Mr. Yun," Dan said. "No one will point a finger in this situation. This is a political battle."

"I'm well aware of that, Mr. Suk. We need tangible evidence because everything we have is speculation. Working with your company and the band might help a lot.”

Dan frowned. "How do I know that if we get in the middle of this, you won't end up on the other side? This won't be the first time someone has offered help. We've learned to be cautious."

"I'm not easily intimidated, Mr. Suk. Besides, Rebellion is not the first band to go through something like this. Most musicians who go against major record companies in this country end up unknown. Rebellion happens to be lucky in that they've managed to make a comeback."

"It wasn’t easy. Besides, the success of this album is still far off." Dan glanced in the direction of the stage. "We released the album two days ago. Now, it's a matter of watching sales and promoting as much as we can. I've spent the last three months looking for the different ways to distribute this album. We're practically selling the albums ourselves."

"Meaning you've tried to promote using the usual channels and failed," Yun Tae Ho observed.

"I didn't try," Dan said with a shrug. "Rebellion's first album was removed from the charts, why bother fighting a frustrating battle. Instead, I decided to create new avenues of distribution, creating shops on the company's website, the band's website, and working with international platforms like iTunes. We have two distribution companies working with us locally, but they are small. Their costs are high, but if we succeed, we'll make a stunning profit. Now, if the band can just manage to tour without interference…"

"What you've done is eliminated any chance of rejection, Mr. Suk. You've turned Rebellion into an independent band."

"They are an independent band," Dan insisted. "Far removed from the usual boy bands out there, Rebellion is setting its own path. Since we're not interfering with anybody's business, I'd love it very much if they'd stop interfering with ours."

Yun Tae Ho held out his hand. "I can help you with that. Why don't we set up new venues and see how it goes from there?”

Dan studied him for a moment, before he took Yun Tae Ho's hand. "Don't disappoint me, Mr. Yun. I don't take it very well."

"I've heard," Yun Tae Ho said with a laugh. "I heard the reason you're helping Rebellion is because you had a disagreement with N-Sang's C.E.O. You've managed to throw him a powerful punch."

Dan smiled. "He stole my clients and claimed I was gambling with the mob to destroy my reputation. I don't like people who fight dirty, so like you, I had to make a stand."

"I wish I had someone like you fighting for me some fifteen years ago," Yun Tae Ho said with a sigh. "Perhaps my music career would have gone somewhere."

"You used to sing?" Dan asked in surprise.

"Briefly, until I had a problem with my company's management and decided to pursue a different side of the music industry. We definitely need more companies like Jade Entertainment instead of N-Sang. Most of the top entertainment companies are swindling young artists, offering to train them for a small fee, spending money on them to create an image which puts them in debt before they debut, and then when they finally get to work, all the profits are spent by the company, which leaves the musician with peanuts."

"Sounds familiar," Dan said thinking of Jae and Black shade.

"Yesterday, I met a group of eight girls who are performing every second of their lives. They get ten minutes off in their day, and spend the nights training, which means one hour of sleep or less. After the company takes away their expenses, their profits become less than they'd make working at a fast food place. Does that make sense?"

"Don't look down on them. They're just starting out, and it takes time to get popular. If they work hard, they'll have an easier time if the company is good. We started out that way," Jae said behind Yun Tae Ho.

Dan looked up to see Jae standing a few feet away wiping his face with a towel. He was all sweaty from singing and jumping on stage. Dan wondered what Tae Ho would say if he pulled Jae into his arms right now for a kiss.

"Who is this?" Jae asked coming to stand beside him.

"Mr. Yun, meet Kim Jaehan," Dan said sliding an arm around Jae's waist.

His fingers moved under the sweaty t-shirt to touch Jae's slick skin. He smiled when Jae leaned against him.

"Nice to meet you," Yun Tae Ho said bowing his head slightly to Jae. "I'm not looking down on those girls, just worried for them."

Dan got a business card from his pocket and held it out to Yun Tae Ho. "This is my number. Call me tomorrow morning."

"Thank you, Mr. Suk." Yun Tae Ho smiled and bowed again. "I'll leave you now."

Jae scoffed after Yun Tae Ho left. "Who does he think he is?"

"An officer at the FTC," Dan said. "Don't scowl after him that way. He's on your side."

Jae scoffed. "Did you hear him talk about those poor girls?"

"He's just worried they'll end up exploited like you were, Jae, probably worse." Dan sighed and touched Jae's jaw. "Relax. Is the showcase over?"

"Yeah." Jae grinned. "It was exhilarating. I can't wait to go on tour."

"Where are Jung and Andre?"

"I left them up there talking to fans."

Dan nodded. He met brown eyes and smiled.

"You said you love me."

"Mmm-hmm," Jae said.

"Say it again."

"Is that an order?" Jae asked as Dan pressed him against the wall.

Dan took the towel Jae was using and wiped away sweat from Jae's forehead.

"A plea," Dan said.

Jae held his gaze and Dan watched those eyes turn serious.

"I really love you, Dan."

Dan smiled. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing you say that, never, Jae."

"Are you going to kiss me?" Jae asked.

"Here?" Dan looked down the hall. It was deserted but not for long.

"Who cares?" Jae asked challenging him.

Dan leaned in to kiss him, and he closed his eyes when Jae held him close.

****

"Sir." Mrs. Kang, Dan's secretary, walked into his office on a Monday afternoon three months later.

She had a magazine in her hands that she handed to him.

"First copy goes to you. Congratulations, Rebellion is a success."

"Thanks," he said as she left his office.

Getting up from his desk, he walked to the gray couch in the corner of his office and sank down with a tired sigh. Putting his feet up on the coffee table, he studied the magazine cover. The title read: The Rebellion Magazine. Jae, Junghee, and Andre graced the cover dressed in pajamas, sprawled on the floor in Jae's living room. Jae was reading a magazine, his hair held up in a short top knot, Andre held a video game console, and Jung was reading a book. He smiled and touched Jae's face on the cover.

Turning the magazine, his smile widened when he found a full-page picture of Jae. Jae looked out of this world, his brown eyes captivating, and his brown hair in a Mohawk. He sat on a guitar case with his elbows resting on his knees as he stared into the camera. Dan felt pride at the sight of Jae this way. They'd come a long way, and the confidence in Jae humbled him.

Turning the page, he found a picture of Junghee and then Andre. The magazine was Harry's idea. They'd gotten a photojournalist to follow the band on their tour. Pictures of the band members sleeping in the bus, stopping at various rest stops, and carrying equipment into venues filled the first half of the magazine. Dan grinned when he found a picture where Junghee and Andre had painted Jae's face with markers while he slept. There was another one with Junghee wearing noodles in his red hair. He laughed when he saw a picture of Andre wearing smudged lipstick and eye shadow spread liberally under his eyes while he slept. Gods, he'd forgotten how the band got on road trips. He missed their goofiness.

Turning the page, he sighed when he found a picture of Jae wearing a simple white t-shirt and jeans, seated on a couch in the back of the bus. Jae held a guitar, and a pen between his lips, obviously in the middle of writing music.

Dan read the article that came along with the picture. Photojournalist Ming Suni had written one for each of the members of Rebellion:

Kim Jaehan is Rebellion's lead singer and a man with many hidden talents. He is the oldest in the band, but one would never guess it watching him with his bandmates. Soft spoken and easy going in private, one would never imagine he could bring a stadium of fans to their feet with just one word or imagine his stunning voice as he sings Critical Mass, the band's new smashing anthem. I cornered him during a quiet moment before the band went for rehearsal and asked him a few questions.

Ming Suni: First, let me congratulate you and your bandmates for winning top place on the charts. Your new album sold over three hundred thousand copies in the first week, and has continued to top the charts. Three months later, and Stronger is still charting at number one. Were you expecting such a response to your new album?

Jaehan: No, I'm stunned, humbled, thankful, there are no words to express how I feel. Breaking Free has topped our expectations. Our fans have topped our expectations. I sometimes think saying just thank you is inadequate. Don't you think so? Such simple words, yet it's all I can say. I can only say thank you to all of you who support our music and us.

Ming Suni: Considering your past, and the tough situations you and your bandmates have lived through, do you think those experiences made you work harder to get back on top? How did you manage to hold onto each other as a band?

Jaehan: Rebellion is family to me. Andre and Junghee are my brothers. They are like my right and left arm. I'm nothing without them. What we've achieved, we've done it together; I can’t separate them from my life. I think this bond is what has brought us to where we are now. I also can’t forget Suk Dan who picked us up when we were at our lowest and gave us the strength to face an uncertain future.

Ming Suni: When you met Mr. Suk, there were rumors that he was working with questionable executives and that he was misleading artists in their careers. Can you tell us what made you decide to work with him despite the rumors?

Jaehan: (Answers with a short laugh) truthfully, it was hard to trust him at the start. Not because of his past, but because we'd met so many people who wanted to help us, but in the end would just lead us astray.

Ming Suni: Do you mean people like the Rand Agency?

Jaehan: Yes and many others who’d gone as far as extorting money, I was wary of yet another individual promising to get us out of trouble and back on stage. At our first meeting, I thought Mr. Suk was a shabby, unkempt man as he sat across from us, saying he could help. I can't say I was particularly cordial. I gave him a hard time, and we had a rocky start. He worked hard, and sacrificed a lot of his time despite our cold reception. Mr. Suk is the kind of person who has forked over his own money to allow us to sell our album. We've only come to know all this later, of course. He is the kind of man who sorts out problems even before we know they exist. Through all that turmoil, Mr. Suk has become the person I trust the most with my life.

Min Suni: How is it working with Jade Entertainment?

Jaehan: Like working with family. The band is able to make decisions; and having a manager and a boss who understands those decisions makes it easy to grow creatively. This tour has been a success. The staff at Jade Entertainment has given their all, making sure our fans have a wonderful concert experience, and that the band is meeting schedules. Of course, there are squabbles when something goes wrong, but which family doesn't have them. It just means we're happy working together.

Ming Suni: So, we've asked your bandmates to describe you and here's what they said: Kang Junghee says, "You're a perfectionist when it comes to work, and the most empathic, because you worry about everyone's problems, also you act cute when you're drunk." Song Andre says, "He is a man who'll say not to call him hyung when he feels he's failed us, but in that statement, he is just showing us how much he cares about us. Because of that, we can't ever stop calling him hyung. He's hard working, so much so, that you can't drag him from the studio when he's working, but he loves drinking and hugging everyone when there's no work.

(At this point Kim Jaehan covers his face with a silent laugh.)

Ming Suni: Why are you laughing?

Jaehan: I'm a bit embarrassed they're calling me out on my drinking.

Ming Suni: Hearing your bandmates talk about you with such affection, how would you describe Kim Jaehan?

Jaehan: He's a lucky person, to have such precious people surrounding him, but he needs to learn how to let go more easily. As Junghee says, I sometimes worry about other people's problems, excessively to the point of blaming myself. I've recently made an effort on letting go and found happiness as a result.

Ming Suni: What's next for Rebellion after the tour?

Jaehan: More studio time, we're always writing music. Of course, we’ll work at finding ways to connect with our fans. We have limitations on our domestic activities. We've realized that the best way to connect with our fans is to create events that will give us opportunities to meet them often.

Ming Suni: Does it bother you that Rebellion can't promote on television and radio shows in South Korea?

Jaehan: When we first started this tour, it did, very much. We'd worked so hard to get Breaking Free out, and we were looking forward to selling it to our fans. Only to find we couldn't promote like everyone else who had their music out there. It was discouraging, but our manager, Harry Yoon, and Dan have worked hard to make sure that we reach our fans. We've managed to sell more than we expected. Being out here gives us a better chance of connecting with our fans, and we've decided not to worry about things we can’t change easily anymore.

Ming Suni: You've recently won the title Sexiest Musician in Asia in a poll held by one of our magazines. What do you say to that?

Jaehan: (turns shy and laughs) suddenly, it has become a source of stress. I can only say thank you again, and hope not to disappoint everyone as the years come and go.

After the interview, Jaehan invites me to eat noodles from a stall he discovered the night before when we arrived in Daegu. He’s dressed in simple jeans, a t-shirt, and a heavy sweater, with a dark cap covering his hair. He puts me at ease as we walk, telling me anecdotes of the different towns he's visited. Strangers pass us thinking he's just another man walking on the street.

A closer look reveals that he isn't. He is Kim Jaehan, a successful singer, composer and lyricist, churning out record-breaking songs for the band Rebellion with stunning prowess. His bandmates describe him as hard working, empathic, a great drinking friend known to act cute, and a man who everyone wants to call hyung. He's a man of many facets and at first glance can leave you breathless with his stunning face. A few minutes in his company quickly reveal he deserves the accolades he gets from industry critics, and that Rebellion is in his blood for life.

Dan smiled at that last statement and turned to read Junghee's article. His phone buzzed on the table and he answered it with an irritated frown, hating the interruption.

"Mr. Suk."

He removed his feet from the coffee table at the sound of Yun Tae Ho's voice. They had been working together for the last three months trying to get evidence of interference by the N-Sang Entertainment. Booking venues, having the managers cancel their bookings, and claiming there was a mistake when they asked questions.

"I have good news for you," Tae Ho said. "We just got concrete proof that came from an executive leaving N-Sang Entertainment after a disagreement. He handed us incriminating documents, hard copies of notices sent to various distribution companies and broadcasting stations."

Dan's hold on the magazine tightened and he stood in shock.

"What are you telling me, Tae Ho?"

"That the FTC will issue a sanction against N-Sang for interfering with Rebellion's broadcasting rights and promotions. Our aim is to get their actions into the light, and get them to stop interfering with the band. From there, we'll see what happens. In reality, it might not change anything with the broadcasting companies who've refused to receive Rebellion. They won't want to look weak."

Dan felt relief flood him hard. "That's okay, I'd be happy with them leaving us alone. It would be great to schedule a show for Rebellion and not worry someone will interfere. Thank you so much, Tae Ho."

"I'm sure Rebellion is eager to hear this news," Yun Tae Ho said. "I know you're aware N-sang Entertainment won't take our decision lightly. We've a lot more work ahead of us."

"Quite sure, but we're not afraid of work," Dan said glancing at the magazine he held. "Thanks for letting me know."

"Anytime," Yun Tae Ho said. "My office releases a statement this afternoon. I’m sure you and the boys will make yours tomorrow. I'll call you later."

"Thanks."

Dan ended the call and stood in his office staring at the magazine he held. This wasn't news he wanted to tell Jae, Andre, and Junghee over the phone. They'd faced all their achievements and failures together.

Walking to his desk, he got his wallet and grabbed his jacket. Rebellion was driving into Busan tonight. He'd meet them there.

****

Jae stood on the edge of the stage in the Busan Asiad Stadium, tugging his jacket closed, and looking at the vast number of seats in the stadium. Each one would have a fan sitting in it tomorrow evening. He let out a soft sigh and tested the floor of the stage; it was steady and firm, with no shaky boards, and he smiled. Just like this tour. Standing right here, he could look into the future and see it clearly. If they kept working hard, and steadily, things would be okay.

"Mr. Jae," Ken, his bodyguard, said behind him. "You should go inside; you need sleep before you wake up early tomorrow."

"I wanted to see the stage, see what it's going to be like." Jae sighed and stretched his arms above his head. "Three days here, and then we can go back to Seoul. I miss home, Ken."

"You miss Mr. Suk," Ken said with a knowing smile.

Jae sighed and dropped his arms. Another night spent alone.

"Yes, I miss Mr. Suk."

Ken patted his shoulder and turned him toward the exit.

"You can call him when we get to the hotel. You get to sleep in a huge room at this last stop. Harry made sure he got you comfortable suites at the Lotte Hotel. Security is difficult for these last four shows. Your fans are getting very proactive."

"Where are Junghee and Andre? I left them in the dressing room working with the stylist."

"They left in the first car," Ken said as they headed to a car waiting right behind the stage. "We're heading to the Lotte Hotel right now. I'm sure you're tired."

Ken opened the back passenger door for him and Jae slid in with a huge sigh.

"I was expecting a shout of excitement not a sigh."

Jae turned to his left and gasped in shock when he saw Dan seated beside him.

"How?" he asked, pleasant surprise filling every part of his body.

Ken closed the door and Jae threw himself into Dan's arms, closing his eyes when Dan tightened his arms around him.

"Hey," Dan said burying his face into Jae's shoulder. "It's so good to see you."

Jae held on to Dan. Breathing in Dan’s scent, he felt the world right itself.

"I missed you so much," Jae said. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I wanted to surprise you." Dan moved to pull back but Jae held him tight and he chuckled. "I don't want to let you go either."

Jae let a sigh escape and moved only because Ken got in the driver's seat. He held on to Dan's hand, shifting in the seat to face him.

"We're headed to the Lotte Hotel. Want to have a date with me?"

"Are we having dinner in a suite again?" Dan asked.

"No way, we'll have a private dining room, and eat dessert first."

Dan laughed and pulled him closer so that he could whisper in his ear. "But I have this fantasy, you know, and it definitely doesn't include a dining room, Jae."

Heat swept through him, as his body hardened. They'd barely seen each other these past three months, if it were possible, he'd attack Dan right here.

"Fine, we'll have dinner in my suite," Jae whispered back. "I want to know about this fantasy. What does it involve?"

"Dessert," Dan said with a laugh when Jae skimmed his lips over his ear. "Gods, do you know how much I've missed you?"

Jae squeezed his hand and smiled. "You should have come to meet me sooner."

Dan let a sigh escape which made Jae think there was a reason why Dan would fly from Seoul to see him. Leaning back, Jae studied Dan, keenly aware that his boyfriend was keeping something from him. Usually it meant Rebellion was facing another blow.

His gaze dropped to their joined hands and he took in a deep breath searching for strength. How had he gotten this lucky? It wasn't easy meeting someone to trust, someone who thought of his well-being as Dan did. Who understood him so much that he didn't need to speak his feelings because Dan knew them with just one glance?

He wondered if he was this same person to Dan. It scared him that he was a person to cause worry in Dan's life instead.

A month after their tour started, he had discovered that Dan had footed a huge chunk of their distribution costs. Awed by Dan's determination to see Rebellion succeed, he'd felt a surge of fear flood him. Dan was constantly doing things for him, but he couldn't remember what he'd done for Dan, except make him worry.

Now here they were again, Dan was keeping something from him so that he wouldn't worry.

God help him, but he wanted to be strong.

"Dan."

"What's with the serious face?" Dan asked studying him. "What's wrong?"

Jae met his gaze. "You know how much I love you, right?"

Dan squeezed his fingers gently. "It takes my breath away when you say love me, Jae."

Jae nodded. "I'm sorry for causing you trouble all the time-"

"Where is this coming from?" Dan asked with a frown.

"Harry let me know how deep you got with the distribution company. That's why I told him to add more tours, and why we've ended up on the road this long. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted you to concentrate on your music. I had it under control; if things had turned worse, I'd have let you know."

"But-"

"But nothing, Jae," Dan interrupted him. "I knew you'd bring this up the moment I read your interview in the Rebellion Magazine. Stop worrying, we've made back the money ten times more than I could have dreamed. You've worked so hard, I'm now a richer man than I started out."

Jae stared at him and then shook his head.

"Look at you, praising us for working hard for your money. Are you some sort of pimp?"

Dan laughed. "You're my slave and should listen to what I say. Stop worrying."

"It's not okay for you to worry on your own. I can't stand it if you're taking on all our burdens and we're living life oblivious to it all. It's not fair to you. Therefore, from now on, I need us to live as partners, Dan. Promise me you won't leave me out of our problems when they arise."

Dan leaned to kiss Jae’s jaw gently.

"I promise," Dan said quietly.

"I want to take care of you too," Jae tried to make him understand.

"I know," Dan said. "You do take care of me, Jae."

"Do I?" Jae asked with a sigh. "It feels like you're always the one doing the caring."

Dan kissed him then, not caring that Ken might see them in the rearview mirror. Jae sighed and melted into his arms, his concerns floating away. They pulled apart when they reached the hotel. Jae tugged on a dark cap, pulling it low over his face. Dan walked beside him as they entered the hotel.

They took the elevator to the top floor and Ken led the way to Jae's suite. They waited outside the door as Ken checked the suite to make sure no overzealous fans had found their way in.

"We're good to go," Ken said opening the door wider. "If you need anything, I'm right across the hall."

"Thanks, Ken," Dan said as he followed Jae into the suite. He tugged off his jacket, and dumped it on an armchair. "Can you ask Junghee and Andre to come in here?"

"Sure," Ken said as he left.

"Is there trouble again?” Jae asked, sitting down with a sigh on the couch in the living area. He removed his cap and threw it on the coffee table. “What is it?"

The door opened before Dan could answer. Junghee and Andre hurried in, each of them rushing to hug Dan excitedly.

"When did you get here?" Junghee asked. "Why didn't you call?"

"We could have met you at the airport," Andre said.

"Can you imagine the ruckus of you guys meeting me at the airport?" Dan said with a laugh.

Jae waved at Ken who closed the door and left them alone. Junghee joined him on the couch, and held out a vanilla wafer stick. Jae took it, hoping to stave off hunger.

"What's going on, Dan?" Jae asked.

"Well, I have good news for you," Dan said with a grin. "I wanted to tell you in person, that's why I came all this way. I know Harry has you guys on a news blackout."

"We have ourselves on a news blackout," Junghee said propping his legs on the coffee table. "I hate the news."

"Well, you sure made it today," Dan said with a laugh.

"Was it something bad?" Andre asked with a frown. He stood next to Dan with his arms crossed against his chest.

"Well, you remember the FTC official we met during your showcase in Seoul?" Dan asked.

"Yeah," Jae said.

"He called me earlier today. The FTC issued a sanction against N-Sang Entertainment today, warning them not to interfere with your promotional activities."

Andre gave a big cheer, his eyes wide.

Junghee sat up on the couch beside him and asked, "What?"

"You heard me. I don't have all the details yet, but the FTC has proven that N-Sang ordered a number of industry businesses from promoting Rebellion. They will be fined if caught interfering again."

"That's great and all, but didn't the courts rule the same thing when they threw out the injunction N-Sang filed against us?" Jae asked. "That didn't stop N-Sang from screwing with us."

"Well, now we have proof." Dan said confidently. "N-sang Entertainment might not officially admit it, but more eyes are watching them, making it harder to continue with their ways. This is good news, Jae, the first blinding light at the end of the tunnel.”

"Even if we can't get on television, they won't be able to cancel our venues at will. We can have concerts anywhere we want, distribute with whoever we wish." Junghee laughed clapping. "And N-Sang is once again proven to be on the wrong side."

"We should definitely celebrate," Andre said rushing to the phone. "I'm calling for champagne."

Jae stood and moved to hug Dan. "Why didn't you tell us you were working with the FTC? How did all these happen without us knowing?"

"I wanted us to celebrate together," Dan said holding him. “I wasn’t sure anything would come of it. I didn’t want you to keep your hopes up. It’s easier when you concentrate on the music. Are you happy?"

"Insanely," Jae said running his fingers through Dan's hair. "Is this what you were keeping from me in the car?"

Dan nodded pulling back to study Jae. "I wanted to celebrate this as Rebellion. You're finally on top; you've proven everyone wrong. How does it feel?"

Jae let out a breath and turned to Junghee and then Andre. He had no words, just love swelling inside of him like a cascading river. Tears spilled on his cheeks and Dan sighed.

"Oh good lord, no crying, Jae," Andre said.

"I need to get drunk," Jae said turning away from them and wiping his tears away.

"Then the silent tears will turn into deep sobs," Junghee pointed out coming to pat his shoulder. "Besides, you have to perform tomorrow."

"In the afternoon," Jae managed.

"Hyung," Andre came to hug him. "It's alright. We did well. Don’t cry, please, I can’t handle that right now."

Jae laughed and wrapped his arms around Andre, afraid he might explode with happiness.

Like they always did, they toasted, laughed, and celebrated another victory, seated together in Jae's suite. They ate a late dinner, and when Andre started drooping, Junghee took him to his suite, leaving Dan and Jae alone.

Jae sat on the floor in the sitting area, holding a glass of champagne. He held his glass up to Dan with a sleepy grin.

"To you, Dan, you're my everything."

Dan clinked their glasses and sipped his drink. He put his glass on the coffee table and leaned to take Jae's glass out of his hands.

"I was drinking that," Jae protested as Dan helped him to his feet.

"I want to make love to you," Dan said pulling him into his arms. Jae met brown eyes that made his heart ache with love. "I want to kiss you and hold you in my arms for the rest of my life. I love you, Jae, more than you'll ever understand. I love you."

Jae wrapped his arms around Dan and smiled. "I love you more than anything in this world too. I do understand, because you showed me what love is. Did you know that?"

****

His heart full, Dan held Jae tight.

"I know, Jae," he answered. They kissed and when Jae pulled back and laid his head on Dan's shoulder, he sighed. "Jae?"

A soft snore greeted his ears making him chuckle. Jae's weight rested against him, and he was suddenly holding up one hundred and forty pounds of dead weight.

"Typical," Dan said as he lifted Jae into his arms.

He laid Jae in the bed, having stripped him of his jeans and t-shirt. Brushing brown hair out of Jae's eyes, he pressed a kiss on his forehead before he pulled the covers over him.

Ten minutes later, after a shower, Dan slipped into bed, and smiled when Jae reached for him in his sleep. Jae's touch sent raging heat through his body. His fantasies roared to life, as Jae slept peacefully in his arms. Smiling at the thought of waking Jae up in the morning, he buried his nose into Jae's hair and let himself bask in the one place he'd always belong: in Kim Jaehan's arms.

***

Fin