Enigma - 19. Chapter 19 - Moving On

The hospital bed is quite narrow so Silver and I have to lie close to each other. We are facing each other, close but not touching. I can feel his breath on my face and see the flecks of blue in his eyes.

“I have never seen anyone so beautiful in all my life.”

“Neither have I.”

“You can’t be talking about me so you must be really conceited right now.”

“One... acknowledging the fact of my physical perfection is not a conceit it is an indication of a healthy self image. And two... you know I was talking about you.”

“Oooh... look at you getting all sarcastic on me. You must be feeling better.”

He smiled and nods. “Much better.”

“Have you decided who you want to be yet... Matthew... or Silver?” He smiles, a bright beautiful smile.

“Neither.”

“No? Then who?”

“Just me... whoever I am.”

“Good choice. So what do you want to be called? I think you look like a Mattie myself.”

“Call me that and as soon as I’m well enough I’ll beat you black and blue.”

I giggle... yeah I know but I do have a tendency to giggle far too much.

“Then what?”

He frowns slightly then smiles. “The only name I have ever heard you calling me is Silver. You’ve always said it with gentleness and recently you’ve been saying it with love. Silver may not be the person I am any more, and I am sure that it certainly isn’t the person I want to be but... I have grown to love it just because of how you say it... so I think I would like to stay Silver.”

“I’m really glad about that. To me you will always be Silver... a beautiful name for a beautiful person.”

Very gently Silver brushes my face with his fingers, tracing my features and I close my eyes, lost in the sensation. Gradually the fingers move downwards, stroking my shoulder and arm and then... and then...

Argh... when Silver touches my body my brain turns too mulch. I am barely aware when he unbuttons my jeans and slips his hand inside.

“Oh fuck! Oh fuck Silver... what... what are you doing to me?”

“Putting my skills into practice.” I know that if I look at him he will be smiling but I couldn’t have opened my eyes if my life depended on it. The things he is doing to me with just one hand, and in the confines of my jeans. I think I am about to pass out.

“Silver... Silver...” I can't speak, can’t say anything but his name. “Oh God Silver...”

He shifts to reach down a little further and I wriggle trying to get my jeans off but he whispers, “No, don’t. You don’t need to and we have to be careful. I wouldn’t want my mother to see this.”

I don’t care. I really don’t care about his mother or my mother or anyone in the world except him. I don’t even understand his words all I understand is the fact that somehow he is able to massage my cock whilst at the same time... at the same time...

A strange squeak emanates from my mouth as my hips thrust forward of their own volition.

Silver giggles and from him the sound is golden and only increases my excitement.

Suddenly and unexpectedly, making me cry out, Silver does something that must surely have dislocated half his fingers and probably his wrist, he merges all the incredible feelings into one that rips through my abdomen and launches me on the most incredible and powerful orgasm of my life. It is shockingly unexpected and leaves me gasping and shaking, utterly speechless.

“How... how...” I gasp.

“Just a little something I learned along the way.”

I finally open my eyes and he is glowing, his eyes wide and shining with happiness.

“Hell Silver. I would never say that what happened to you was a good thing but... fuck... if that’s a taste of things to come...”

He moves his face closer and kissed me lightly. “It’s a sign of things to cum. And if you think that was good... you wait until I am healed and supple again.”

Just the words and the thoughts they provoke makes my cock twitch and my eyes widen. He laughs.

“You look tired. Maybe you should get some rest.”

“I am tired... but then, I am always tired these days.”

“Then you should sleep more.”

“Don’t you think I have slept enough?”

“Watching you sleep is one of my favourite occupations.”

“Then get ready to engage in it. Now that you’ve mentioned it I am really sleepy.”

“Are you feeling better now?”

“I feel wonderful.”

“Well then my wonderful Silver No 2 ... go to sleep now.”

I turn over on my back and carefully slide closer to Silver who positions himself with his head on my shoulder. I am so happy I could burst.

I really don’t know who went to sleep first but it seems like no time before we are woken up again, gently, by a nurse.

“The doctor is on his way to check you out. If he’s happy maybe you can go home tomorrow.”

Silver is too sleepy to really register what she is saying. He smiles and nods but I know he has no real idea what’s going on. It makes me smile, even more so the fact that he might be home with me so soon.

I slip off the bed while the nurse checks Silver’s pulse, blood pressure and temperature and makes notes on a chart. By the time she is done he is fully awake and rolling his eyes at me.

When the doctor comes I have to leave. I always get edgy and nervous when a doctor is examining Silver. Even though he has come so far I have never quite lost that fear that gripped me at the warehouse and is putting up a huge fight about letting go, and every time he’s been examined I have waited for bad news.

There is still a police officer sitting outside the door. It isn’t Sam today but another man who I have come to know quite well. His name is Aeron and he is a lot smaller than Sam but still powerful looking and they all make me feel secure.

“How’s it going in there?”

“Looking good. We might be able to go home tomorrow.” I use the ‘royal we’ as I have only been home for an hour or so at a time since Silver has been here.

“Hey, that’s great. He’s pretty amazing isn’t he?”

“My own personal miracle.” I grin.

“Has anyone talked to you about what’s going to happen with protection when you go home?”

“No. I haven’t thought about that to be honest. I suppose someone had better do it soon if we are going to be going tomorrow. Do you really think we still need it?”

“Has anyone brought you up to date with what’s happening out there?”

“No. Why?”

There is something in the way he is looking at me that scares the hell out of me. He shakes his head. “It’s not really for me to say.”

“Aaron... I wouldn’t dream of talking to Silver about it but I think that one of us should know.”

“I’ll arrange for someone to talk to you.”

“I’m feeling a little scared now Aeron. All you’re doing is freaking me out. Please...”

“It’s nothing to freak out over. Oh well, I suppose it won’t do any harm. Thanks to the guys we captured at the warehouse we got some useful information on a huge operation. There have been a couple of raids with excellent results.

“The one they called the Master got away along with that creep Faith although the word on the grapevine is that Faith is pretty much on the run from his own as well as ours. This Master has a lot of influence and he wasn’t best pleased with Faith after what happened at the warehouse.

“Although we have no evidence it’s highly likely that Faith will blame Silver for his downfall and will come after him.”

“Shit. Last time they waited six months to strike, watching him the whole time until he was on his own... well until we were on our own. You can’t watch us round the clock for six months.”

“I don’t think he is going to wait that long this time. His world has crumbled around him. He has no home, no job and no support. If he’s coming he’ll come soon. We’re going to make sure that you have an armed guard in the house the whole time and cars driving past regularly, as well as a panic button installed and 24 hour access to a hotline.”

“Wow... that sounds scary.”

“Not as scary as being alone in a house with a crazed killer out looking for revenge.”

“How long is this going to on for?”

“As long as it’s needed.”

“Hell...” I am stunned and shocked. I though it was over but clearly it isn’t. Faith’s on the warpath thirsty for vengeance and there is going to be only one thing that will satisfy that thirst... Silver.

I fall silent and stand leaning against the wall not looking at Aeron. Until now my mind has been so occupied with Silver, so full of fear for him that there really hasn’t been room for anything else. Although I pass the guards every time I go in and out of the room I never think about why they are there, I haven’t given Faith a second thought and I haven’t even thought about when we leave.

“It’ll be okay River. We’ll make sure you’re okay. Sam would string us up if anything happened to you.”

I grin. “He’s a good guy, Sam.”

Aeron nods. “Do you know his story?”

“Story?”

“He had a breakdown a couple of years ago, was almost invalided off the force.”

“Oh my god! I would never have guessed. What happened?”

Aeron looks uncomfortable. “I don’t know if I should tell you. It's very personal... although... I know he likes you and maybe it would help if you knew why.”

“I... I wouldn’t want to do anything that would make Sam uncomfortable. Maybe I should ask him myself.”

“Maybe...”

We lapse into silence again but I can’t stand it and in the end I have to say... “Alright... you have to tell me. Now you’ve gone this far you have to tell me.”

Aeron smiles. “Sam had a son. He was a couple of years younger than you, seventeen. He ran away from home when he was fourteen. Sam’s never been particularly forthcoming about why, although he completely blamed himself for it. I have my own theories and I think you know what they are. Suffice it to say that Neil’s boyfriend ran away at the same time.

“Sam was devastated. He searched everywhere for him, for years, and finally found him. He was in a bad way. Hooked on drugs, half starved, riddled with disease and HIV positive. He brought him back, had him treated by the best doctors, tried to heal their relationship and thought he had done so... until six months later when Neil put Sam’s gun in his mouth and blew the back of his head off.”

“Oh my god.” I am genuinely shocked. I hadn’t expected this.

“He fell apart, had a complete nervous breakdown. He blamed himself totally. It’s been a long road back for him... but he’s fine now. I think he likes you because he sees a lot of Neil in you. He was a sweet boy too.”

“Um... thanks... I think.”

Aeron smiles, looking slightly embarrassed, but before either of us can say any more the door opens and the nurse sticks her head out.

“Would you like to come in now? Dr Barrett would like to have a chat with you and Silver together.”

Silver is in bed, lying back against the pillows with the sheet pulled up to his chest. He looks exhausted and grey with pain but he still smiles at me. I am anxious. Why does he look so pale and ill again?

“I’m sorry Silver, I know I’ve put you through a lot today but I know you were hoping to go home tomorrow so I had to give you a thorough examination to make sure you are up to it.”

Silver nods and smiles, reaching for my hand. I know him well by now. I know that he desperately wants to put on a brave face, to show us all that he’s up to it... but he’s too exhausted. I sit on the bed and hold his hand tightly, willing my strength into him.

“You’re still doing remarkably well but I have a feeling that you’re overdoing it, pushing yourself too hard. I doubt you’re resting properly and I understand you are not eating very much.” Silver doesn’t say anything, just looks at him with wide eyes.

“None of us are eating very much.” I say lightly, trying to lift the atmosphere and reassure him. “That has more to do with the quality of food on offer than appetite.”

“I can understand that.” The doctor chuckles. “Well... your wounds are healing well, you’re able to get about a little and I think that you are managing pain adequately. I don’t think you are necessarily always telling the truth about that...” He looks at Silver pointedly and he is still too exhausted to reply. My heart is thumping for some reason. I so want to take him home, to get back to normal again but I am afraid and I believe that if I take him home I will only be more afraid.

“You are no longer in any danger. You have recovered incredibly well considering how serious your injuries were. I really don’t think it is doing you any good being here any more. You can’t rest, you’re not eating and you’re not being honest about your level of pain or your pain relief needs. I think you would manage all these things better at home.”

The doctor turns to look at me. “I am assuming that you will be taking care of him, at least for the first couple of weeks.”

“Of course I will. I... I’ll take care of him for as long as he needs it.”

“He is going to need it... for quite some time. He’s going to need help with even the most basic things. He won’t be able to stretch or bend, to carry anything or to walk very far. For the first few days I would advise complete bed rest but then he can get up and walk around the house a little.

“I’ll arrange for a wheelchair so that you can take him on short trips. Fresh air will do him good but only for short periods or he will get exhausted and that will be counter productive. I have arranged for a nurse from your local surgery to call and go over the details of pain management with you and to call every day to change the dressings until the wounds are properly healed.

“The most important thing is to make sure he rests, eats well and sleeps as much as possible... and that he doesn’t overdo it. I know that’s the biggest challenge you are going to face.” He smiles at me and I feel a little stunned. This is all happening so fast.

“So he can come home tomorrow after all? Isn’t it too soon... I mean after what he’s been through... he almost died.”

“I appreciate that but all that Silver really needs now is plenty of rest, pain management and good food. None of those things are really being provided here, not adequately. He’s fighting against us and that’s not doing him any good.” He turns and smiles at Silver who shrugs.

“I can go home tomorrow?”

“No... I wasn’t thinking of tomorrow.” Silver looks heartbroken, tears springing to his eyes. He is so tired, so weak and my heart goes out to him but I am relived, glad. I am scared of the responsibility of having to look after him when he is still so ill. The doctor’s next words chill me. “I was thinking of today.”

“Today but... but he... he’s not well enough to go home today.” Silver gives me a pained look but I ignore him. “Surely he’s not well enough today.”

“He’s not... well... as such but his life is no longer in danger. He’s healing well and whilst he has to be careful for some time yet he is going to recover far better at home than here. As I’ve already said he’s not resting properly, not eating and is pretending to be a lot better than he is so that he can get out. He needs to be more honest about pain and I think there is more likelihood that he will do that with you than with us. It’s either that or put him back on the morphine drip.”

“But if that’s what he needs wouldn’t that be better?” Silver glares at me and if he had been feeling better he would have hit me but I needed to be sure.

“Not really, no. As I said, what Silver needs more than anything is good rest, and that’s not drugged sleep but natural sleep and resting of the mind as well as of the body... that is just not happening here.”

“I can’t help it.” Silver says, his voice sounding stronger. “I do try but...” He drops his head and fusses with the blanket. “It’s just... I’ve been a prisoner for so long, a commodity, a nothing. I’m not saying that I’m treated like that here but... I’m still a prisoner, still just one of the numbers. I can’t relax. I keep looking out of the window and wondering what it would be like to be out there, to be free. I feel... I feel as if I don’t know who I am any more and I’m not going to find me in here.”

I am truly shocked. Even after our earlier conversation when I had begun to understand a little of what Silver was going through it never crossed my mind that he would have felt so keenly the loss of his new found freedom. I squeeze his hand and whisper. “I’m sorry.” There’s no need to say any more... he knows exactly what I mean.

“Are you comfortable with taking over responsibility for caring for Silver at this point? If you aren’t then by all means we can keep him here for a few more days. We’ll all perfectly understand if you would prefer that.”

I look up at Silver’s hopeful, teary eyes and what can I say? I smile at him and turn to the doctor.

“It’s fine. I have everything set up and ready. When can we leave?”

“Well... I have some paperwork to process and the nurse needs to replace the dressings. I’ll get some medication organised until your own nurse can get a full prescription. If you want to go and make whatever arrangements you need and come back in, say two hours at six... you can take him then.”