Enigma - 1. Chapter 1 - Enigma

My name is River Caulfield. Yeah, I know, but it’s what I was given so what can I do about it? I’m at work today. My official title is Care Assistant but I am on my way to being a psychiatric nurse... well, when I say ‘on my way’ I am about to start my degree, part time while still working here. I like it here. I feel safe here, and useful.

‘Here’ is what is currently called a ‘Care House’. They used to be called ‘Halfway Houses’ and various other names depending on what was politically correct at the time. Basically they are houses where patients come from residential care or hospital to learn to live independently.

There are always at least two members of staff; one who comes in every day to take care of paperwork, admin etc and one care assistant per resident, who is with them 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Of course we don’t do the whole thing by ourselves. There is a bank of six of us who work shifts. Usually there are no more than two residents so it works out that we work between two and five shifts a week, a shift being 7 to 7.

In addition to the daily staff there are a team of psychiatrists, psychiatric nurses, physiotherapists and therapists who work between the eight houses in our district, as and when needed according to the particular needs of the residents. I am very lucky. I have heard horror stories about some of the other houses, with ill treatment of residents and all sorts of dodgy dealing with money and facilities. Here we work as a team and we care. I love my job.

Although night shifts are my favourite, as we get to sleep in and once the residents are in bed we usually have the whole night to ourselves with nothing to do. Of course sometimes, depending on the resident, we have to get up in the night to help them go to the toilet etc... but it wasn’t usually too bad.

Today I am working a day shift, having been avoiding nights for a while as we’ve had the most pain in the ass resident I have ever worked with. She takes great delight in calling us constantly through the night for no better reason than that she can. It is unthinkable to not answer her call; just in case it’s genuine and she is just driving us all into the ground.

I have not been in for a few days and as soon as I walk through the door I feel the change in atmosphere.

“What’s up? Is it someone’s birthday?”

Ronya, the admin, and Kevin, who I am about to be relieving look up at me their eyes shining.

“Glenda’s gone.” Kevin says simply, making my heart soar and then fall with a guilty thump.

“What do you mean ‘gone’?”

“Doc Marshall came on Monday and did a full assessment. I think all the complaints finally got through. He decided that she was not yet up to this level of independence and they took her back into Brookfields the next day.”

“Was she okay?”

“Okay? She was ecstatic. I think it’s what she wanted all along. She needs the security and the company of others. She had friends there and I think she was lonely.”

I think about it and it makes sense. The guilt fades. “So it’s just Julia now then?” Julia is delightful. She is thirty two and looks like a child, being tiny, delicate and childlike. She is severely schizophrenic but her current medication has her so well under control that it is on the cards for her to move on sometime soon. In the meantime she is more like one of the team than a patient.

“Nope.”

“No?”

“We had a new one last night.”

“Oh?” Kevin sniggers. “What?” I look between the two of them and they have the damndest expressions on their faces.

“You better read the file. It’s in the office.”

“Am I missing something?” They are still smirking.

“Read the file.” Kevin repeats.

Feeling bemused and slightly miffed I frown at them and stalk out of the room to stifled giggles. My heart sinks as I sit down at the cluttered desk and pull the new file towards me. From the behaviour of the other two it looks like it is going to be an ‘out of the frying pan’ situation. This new one must be pretty bad to elicit that kind of reaction from my colleagues

With a sigh I open the file. The first surprise is in the name. Silver. No surname of forename...just that. Hmm... Male. Age believed to be around 19. Believed? Around? Interested now I press on.

It seems that Silver is something of an enigma. He was found unconscious at the side of the motorway in the middle of the night by a lorry driver who’d happened to have a flat tyre and pulled over onto the hard shoulder. He had noticed something in the undergrowth which turned out to be a body...almost a dead one.

He had taken the boy to the nearest hospital where he was found to be suffering from severe hypothermia as well as the effects of a horrific beating which had left him with broken bones and internal injuries. He had also been brutally and repeatedly raped.

They’d almost lost him a number of times in the first few days but somehow he had hung in there although he slipped into a coma from which he didn’t wake for almost two months.

Following his emergence from the coma he had been worked on relentlessly by the physiotherapists and psychologists and physically he was doing very well; however, in the six months since he had been awake he had never recovered any of his memories of before he woke, had been prone to frequent seizures which affected his memory generally of things that happened since and remained so withdrawn that he lived out his days in a half aware daze.

Really, he should have remained in residential care as it was highly uncertain whether he would ever make progress from where he was now. However, the notes from the psychiatric team indicated that the complete memory loss didn’t seem to have a physical cause and neither did the persisting lack of awareness. There had been little opportunity to explore possible psychiatric causes as Silver simply did not speak about it. It wasn’t that he couldn’t speak. He was perfectly capable of holding conversations when he was in one of his more lucid phases, and indeed came across as a bright and funny boy...but he completely closed down as soon as the subject of his life before came up and disappeared within, not emerging sometimes for days, sometimes even more.

It was hoped that being out of the hospital environment would help him to relax and would allow him to gradually recover his memory and his wits naturally. He was on a shedload of medication, anti convulsants and psychotics. I can’t help but think that maybe that’s why he lives half his life on another planet... but who am I to judge and, to be honest I don’t have the expertise to really know one way or the other.

Closing the file with a sigh I push it across the desk, running my hand through my hair. Great... just great. Not only do I have a day shift, which is always a pain in the ass; not only do I have a new resident to process and settle in... I have to have Mister fucking Mystery. Of course I have no idea what he’s going to be like but from the sound of the file he was going to be hard work.

Sighing I get up from the desk and head back into the living room. Kevin and Ronya are whispering to each other, their heads close together. They look up when I come in and snigger again.

“Alright, alright. What are you...thirteen or something? What’s the joke anyway?”

“You’ve read the file?”

“Yeah... I’ve read the file. Sounds like hard work to me.”

“So what did you think?”

“To be honest... I thought ‘Oh just great... why me? Out of all the care houses in our district why did he have to come to this one?’”

They snigger again. “What?! Will someone please fill me in on what all the sniggering is about?”

“Go see.” Says Ronya, still sniggering.

“See what?”

“Not what silly, who...our new resident.”

“Why? Does he have three heads or something?”

“Oh no... only one head.”

“So what...?”

“Just go see.”

“Gods, you two can be infantile. Just tell me what’s going on, will you? What’s wrong with this guy?”

“What’s wrong with him?” Says Kevin innocently, still with the smirk on his face. “Didn’t you read the file?”

“Yeah, I read the file and there’s nothing I’ve seen in there that would make you two turn into silly teenagers. What exactly do you find so funny? The fact that he got beaten into a coma? Or the fact that he doesn’t remember anything about who is... or was before? Or maybe it’s the fact that he’s living in his own world because he can’t bear to be in this one? Oh yeah... I’m hysterical about that.”

They look down, the laughter gone. Ronya glances at me, as if she is going to say something but she snaps her mouth shut and gets up, heading for the office. Kevin smirks, unable to help it.

“You really wanna go take a look mate.”

“No... actually, I really don’t, not until I have to. So are you going to do handover now?”

“Yeah, yeah, keep your hair on. Maxy’s still in bed; lazy git. He’s doing a double shift today; going to take Julia to her first day at the Community College, so if you don’t hear any movement by half eight go wake him... they have to be there by ten. As for the new guy...” There’s that smirk again... he just can’t help it and boy do I want to slap him.

“Will you leave it out already? Either tell me what the joke is or drop it.”

“There’s no joke River just...well... you’ll see. Anyway... He came in at nine last night and the hospital guys put him to bed and he’s been there, quiet as a lamb ever since. Obviously I haven’t had a chance to speak to him yet. The hospital have sent over three days worth of meds and a prescription which Ronya is getting filled today if you’re okay being here alone with... erm... him.”

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “Is that what you think is so funny? His name? Can’t you ever bring yourself to say it?”

“Well it is... freaky.” He snickered.

“Well forgive me if I don’t crack up. It hasn’t exactly been easy living with a name like River either.”

Kevin smothers another giggle and shrugs. I sigh again and give him a hard stare.

“Oooookay, moving on... they want him settled into a routine as soon as possible. He’s capable of doing just about anything but only if he is given clear instructions. He can dress and feed himself, and they said he can use the kitchen under supervision. For example... he’ll put toast under the grill but he won’t take it out again unless you tell him to or when he starts choking on the smoke. He’ll get in the shower but won’t come out until you get him. He’s not to go outside and to have total supervision at all times unless he’s asleep in which case you’re free.

“He’s to get up at nine and go to bed no later than ten... no special diet, no particular risk apart from abovementioned tendency to burn down the house. Essentially he follows instructions but most of the time isn’t capable of actual independent thought, although he does have moments of lucidity when he likes to talk and surf the net. He can do that as long as you keep constant watch on what he does and the time he spends before a screen or tv is limited to three hours a day because of the seizures.”

“How well controlled are they?”

“Varies. Generally very well controlled but tiredness, stress, usual triggers can bring them on and it can be pretty hard to tell when he zones out whether it’s an absence or a withdrawal. Sounds like a whole lot of fun.”

“So if there is essentially no tv what is he supposed to do all day, sit and stare at the wall?”

“Activities.”

“You what?”

“That’s what the big man says... keep his mind working and occupied as much as possible.”

“Like with what?” My mind is racing and already I am bitterly regretting that I have taken the day shift. This sounds like hard work.

“Apparently when he’s in the mood he’s very good at crossword puzzles... and he loves to write.”

“Write? Write what?”

“No idea but they’ve sent his notebooks with him so no doubt you will find out.”

“Yeah... thanks mate. I’ve got three day shifts and then a double coming up. We’re going to have soooo much fun.”

“Don’t discount the fun element... at least not until you’ve met him.” The grin is breaking out again and I roll my eyes at him.

“What the hell has got into you?”

“I’ll speak to you tonight. Let’s just say that it is probably just as well you haven’t got any night shifts for a while. The kid would probably give you nightmares.”

“Nightmares? What do you mean?”

Kevin grinned unabashedly and stands up. “Well... that’s me done. Don’t forget... Max up by eight thirty and sleeping beauty by nine...and lucky you gets to watch him shower...have fun with that.” He jiggles his eyebrows and I throw a cushion at him.

When I am alone I tidy the room a bit then go to the kitchen to make myself some coffee. Kevin has left toast crumbs all over the place and I curse him. The smell of toast makes my mouth water but I decide to wait for breakfast. It can be an ‘activity’ for Silver...hmm... it is kind of odd to think of calling anyone by that name. I suddenly get an insight to all those assholes who have sniggered at my name over the years and feel somewhat guilty but somewhat enlightened too.

I take a coffee in to Ronya. She is busy but she stops for a while to chat. She isn’t usually in this early but she has to take care of the admin details of Silver’s arrival... like letting social services know so they can do a needs assessment to see if we need any extra facilities or care... it was usually the case that there was none to give but it was a required formality with every resident. She also has to sort out benefits and re organise the food budget, chores rota etc.

Every resident, no matter what their capability is required to do chores. Of course the specific chores are carefully designed to fit the capability so that, for example the less able residents do a little light cleaning or are responsible for putting out the rubbish or being in charge of the television remote, ensuring it is always put back on its stand; while the more able do everything from writing the shopping list to the laundry to actually going shopping and running outdoor errands.

Ronya sighs when I give her the coffee and closes her eyes with pleasure as she sips.

“Aaah this is good. You’re a genius with coffee River. You always get it just as I like it.”

“Only because you like it the same way I do.” I laugh.

“So have you been up to see our newest guest yet?”

“No.” I say with a degree of irritation in my voice because the infantile teasing of my colleagues about it is really starting to piss me off.

“Easy there tiger... no need to bite off my head.”

“If you stop behaving like a twelve year old I will stop behaving like a large ravenous beast who is about to rip of your head.”

“Oh I don’t know about that.” She teases, her eyes twinkling. “Except about biting off my head of course.”

I can’t help but smile at that. I perch on the edge of the desk regarding her thoughtfully over the top of my mug. “So what’s the deal with all this anyway? Are you going to tell me or is it just an extension of your usual puerile game which comes out of the closet whenever we have a new young male resident?”

“Possibly...” she says carefully, “... there may be an element of that.”

“Oh come on... I thought you would have got over that by now.” I groan as Kevin’s remark about the shower sinks in. “Do you really think that because I’m gay I can’t help but hit on any man I meet who’s under 25?” I think back to previous occasions when I’d had a similar conversation. “No, under 50... or are you seriously trying to set me up with one of them? Am I really that sad that you think the only man I have a chance of snagging is one who can’t get away from me and is so out of it he doesn’t actually have any idea of who I am or what I look like anyway?”

I realise that my voice is getting more irritated as I progress but I can’t help it because that is pretty much what I have been feeling lately myself. Ronya doesn’t smile.

“You know it’s not that honey. You’re super cute and if you got rid of that chip on your shoulder you would be fixed up with the man of your dreams in no time at all... it’s just that we like messing with your head.” As she says the last part she grins widely and I almost mirror her.

“Hang on a minute... what chip on my shoulder?”

“The one that says...anyone who is sad enough to give me a second glance is too sad to be worthy of my contempt let alone my attention.”

“You what?”

“Tell me that you don’t do it...that every time an attractive man looks at you, you don’t get defensive and suspicious of his motives and push him away before you even give him a chance of getting close... while all the losers in town get at least a quick feel under the dock.”

“What... are you suggesting I am a slut?”

She cocks her eyebrows and tilts her head. Grumbling I get up and stalk out, angry only because I know she’s right. Lately my love life has left a lot to be desired... which is probably why I am so sensitive to their teasing today.

At precisely eight twenty eight I climbed the stairs with two mugs of coffee in my hands... one black with two sugars; one white with four... I know... how Julia can possibly stay that thin with all the crap she puts in her body I will never know.

First I knock on the door of the staff bedroom and enter. It’s pretty stark. There is no point in decorating because there are just too many of us using it to have a change of pleasing us all. There are two beds with a screen between, the only concession made to modestly and division of the sexes. It, like everything else is beige.

There is a hump under the beige duvet and I give it a slap in the general area where I think the ass might be; Max always sleeps on his stomach with his ass up in the air; as I set his mug down on the bedside cabinet. It is the only piece of furniture in the room apart from the bed, one wooden chair and an old chest in which bits and pieces are stored... you know those little things that make it easier when you have to keep coming back to the same bed that isn’t yours: spare socks and underpants... okay underwear but I try not to look at the frilly stuff, toiletries that you don’t want on display in the communal bathroom, personal items of a feminine nature... well you get the picture.

Max mumbles something and the mound collapses. A moment later a tousled mop of curly brown hair emerges, followed closely by two large sleepy brown eyes. Damn he’s cute. If he were anything but straight I would have been literally chasing him across town.

“’Sup?” He says sleepily.

“It’s eight thirty and I have instructions to get you up.”

“Why?”

“Coz you are taking Julia to college.”

“Fuck! Yeah. Shit... my alarm didn’t go off.”

As he fishes his mobile phone from under the pillow it starts to beep and we both laugh.

“I’ll take Julia her coffee and meet you downstairs. Don’t rush, I’ll get breakfast started. I have to get my own charge up by nine so I’ll get him now and he can give me a hand. He can shower after he’s eaten.”

Do I imagine it or is there an extra twinkle in Max’s eye. I stare at him and he blushes. “Oh no; not you too? What the hell is the matter with you all this morning?”

Max’s eyes widen. “Haven’t they told you?”

“Told me what? Is he gold plated or something?”

Max sniggers and shakes his head. “You’ll see.”

“Ah fuck this.” I say relatively good naturedly as I walk out and shut the door. I almost detour to the newcomer’s room but think better of it as Julia has to be up first and breakfast has to be a priority.

As I tap on Julia’s door I hear movement inside. “Who is it?” calls a light musical voice, filled with barely concealed excitement. I wonder with amusement whether she has been up all night.

“It’s only me, River. I brought you coffee. I thought you might want to be spoiled a little this morning and have it in bed.”

The door flies open and Julia throws herself into my arms. She barely reaches my chest and I have to throw out my arm to stop the coffee pouring on her head.

“Steady on.” I say laughing. She squeezes me and lets go.

“Can’t stay in bed today. No way I am not going to risk being late on my first day.” She sobers and frowns stepping away from me. “Do I look okay?”

She is dressed in faded jeans and a pink and cream striped sweater, with her long blonde hair swinging in a pony tail behind her. If it hadn’t been for the haunted expression in her wide blue eyes and the telltale creases at the edges she would have looked like a teenager.

“You look good enough to eat. They’ll love you. So are you going to take your coffee downstairs then?”

“Sure. Do you want me to make a start on breakfast?”

“You can put some toast on if you like. I’ll be down in a sec... have to go wake the new kid and he can help with breakfast...don’t want to overcrowd the kitchen... too many cooks and all that.”

Julia’s eyes widen. “I saw him come in last night. What’s his story? Is it true his name is Silver? Is he going to be here long? Have you SEEN him?”

“Woah there... you’re making my head spin. Too many questions all at once. You know I can’t tell you his story because it’s confidential. Yes, his name is Silver... and you take the piss out of that and I’ll beat you with a stick... too many times being taunted for being called River to let that one through; sore spot.” She grins and hugs me again.

“I like River... it suits you.”

I smile, surprised. “Why thank you.”

“Silver doesn’t suit him though; at least not what I saw last night. Hmm; so have you?”

“Have I what?”

“Seen him yet?” I groan inwardly... not another one. Is everyone more interested in my love life than I am?

“Not yet. If you’ll just take this coffee and bugger off downstairs I’ll get to won’t I?”

“You’ll like him.” She winks.

“Yeah right... and just how many times over the last eight months have you said that to me... about just about anyone, including the postman, who was male and under 50?”

“Obviously not enough... you’re still single. I really thought I had it cracked with Max.” She grins and shrugs. “Too bad he’s straight.”

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry and for a moment I wonder exactly how inappropriate it would be to spank a resident. As if reading my mind she grabs the coffee and runs for it giggling.