Button - 14. Four Teens

Four Teens

“Is there something bothering you honey?” his mother asked. The boy shook his head at first. He was so down, lonely and it was something that made him want to burst.

“You know you can talk to me about anything,” she said taking his hand in hers. “Fourteen is a tough age for us all. Your body is growing. You probably have these feelings…”

“Mom,” he stopped her. “They tell us all about that in school.”

She was trying.

“You’ve been so depressed. I’m worried,” she said. “What is it?”

Brent Jacobs struggled with his feelings. His mother badgering him finally made it unbearable. If he didn’t tell her he was going to explode. He just hoped she didn’t look at him differently.

“I’m gay, okay,” he said looking down at his hands. “I’m in love with a boy.”

Mary Jacobs sat back. She’d suspected and had prepared herself for it. “You know your father and I love you very much.”

“I know.” Brent knew his parents were really cool about it. His cousin came out a few years ago and his parents had been very supportive. He really was lucky but it was so hard. Brent didn’t want to be different. He wanted to be like other kids.

The worst part was Kevin didn’t return his feelings, at all.

Kevin told him he was gay after kissing Craig at camp. Brent admitted he was too. He’d tried to kiss Kevin, his best friend and the boy he dreamed of, but Kevin said it was too weird.

He was too weird.

Brent knew he was a little girly. It was getting worse too and other kids noticed it. He couldn’t help it. He felt awkward around other boys. His insides felt hot and itchy.

So, he’d stopped hanging out with Kevin. Hell, he stopped being around most other boys. His new best friend was a girl, Ruby. He could go to the mall with her joking about things. Brent told her his feelings and she was so nice about it. They even talked about cute boys, like Craig, but he was straight. That was obvious.

He’d hated Craig before but that seemed kind of babyish. After Kevin kissed Craig, he’d been so furious. Kevin was his first love. He wanted Kevin to kiss HIM. Brent thought about Kevin all the time. He was so tall and strong. His hands were so graceful.

Kevin had totally rejected him.

“We love you regardless of who you like, boys or girls,” Mary hugged him. Brent was like a rag doll in her arms.

“I definitely like boys, mom,” Brent said. “But he doesn’t like me.”

“It’s Kevin isn’t it,” she said.

Brent nodded as tears leaked out. “It hurts.”

“You’re only fourteen. There are going to be lots of boys and later men who really like you,” his mom said. “Don’t get hung up because your best friend doesn’t like you.”

“It’s not just cuz he doesn’t like me like that. He said I’m too girly for him,” Brent said. His voice cracked when he said it but that happened a lot now.

“Then Kevin is a moron,” his mom said.

“You’re just saying that cuz you have to,” Brent smiled through the tears. “You’re my mom. It’s your job.”

His mom laughed at that. “Yeah, I guess. But, you know what I see. I see a very cute boy transforming into a handsome man who is smart, artistic, giving, warm, and a catch for anyone. Someday a boy’s going to see what I see.”

“I hope so. I don’t want to be a lonely weirdo my whole life,” Brent said but now he was smiling.

“That’s not happening honey. Some boy is gonna snatch you up and make you so happy.”

Brent wasn’t sure his mom was the best judge. At least she didn’t hate him though.

********************

Josie fingered the napkin nervously. Brent told her his coming out to his parents had been great. They both accepted him completely. He was a pretty cool guy when you got to know him. Since camp, he’d hung out with her and her girlfriends all the time. When he was Kevin’s best friend, he’d been such a dope. Now he was a lot of fun.

So, as part of a deal, she was about to ‘come out’ to her mom. She was petrified.

Josie wasn’t worried about Nan, her mom Nancy. She would just hug her and laugh. Josie worried about her other mom, Sally. She wouldn’t take it well.

Right now, both of them were looking at her worried.

Nan, Mom, I kissed a boy,” she said. “And I liked it.”

At first Josie thought her little joke fell flat. They both just looked at her and finally Nan started giggling.

“That’s wonderful darling. Who is it?” Nan asked.

“Button,” she said.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea Jos,” Mom said gruffly. “I mean, he’s one of your best friends.”

“I knew you’d be like this,” Josie said quickly. “It’s cuz I like boys isn’t it?”

“No, honey, of course not,” Nan jumped in. “I’m sure your mom is just concerned you’ll lose a good friend.”

“No. Mom doesn’t like men but I do,” Josie said her eyes flashing.

“Jos, that’s not fair,” Mom said looking down. “I only want you to be happy. I’m just worried it will get weird if you fall in love and…”

“Mom, I’m not in love with Button,” Josie said dismissively. “We just kissed a little bit. I’m not in love with Button. Jeez!”

Nan and Mom looked at each other oddly. “I’m confused.” Mom finally said. “Was this some kind of experiment or-“

“You guys are weird,” Josie said. “We kissed a little bit but we’re not dating.”

“Oh,” Nan said. “So have you kissed a girl too?”

“No. Yuck,” Josie said. “Why would I kiss a girl?”

Nan and Mom were both looking lost so Josie figured she’d better enlighten them. It was pretty hard doing this. She was worried they wouldn’t understand.

“Brent came out to his parents this weekend. I told him I’d do the same with you guys,” Josie explained. “He was nervous so I wanted to share the experience with him. I’m coming out straight.”

Nan just started to laugh at her. Mom joined in. “So were you nervous about ‘coming out’ to us?”

“A little,” Josie said after a pause. “I was worried Mom wouldn’t understand.”

“Darling girl, I’m just happy you’re so well adjusted. That is truly special you’d help out a friend with his coming out of the closet. I’m very proud of you,” Mom said.

“Okay. Thanks.” Josie was surprised at their reaction. “Just don’t try to set me up with girls, k? I like boys.”

Nan and Mom promised her they wouldn’t do that. Josie was relieved. Kissing Button had been fun but there was another guy she’d been thinking about. He had fiery red hair and was really a blast to be around. He was the one she’d imagined she was kissing.

It made her feel hot.

********************************

Andy puffed and strained completing the last curl. “Are you done with that weight?” he asked Button.

“No. I have a few more reps to go,” his friend said lunging forward with one ten pound dumbbell in each hand. “I need as much help with the glutes as I can get.”

Andy looked in the mirror in the spare room. Mom put the mirror in when he started lifting. She was sure he’d hurt himself. Finally after the hundredth time of telling him to slow down, Andy banned her from the room. The mirror was so he could spot himself.

The reflection showed a much improved Andy. He’d lost a lot of weight in the past year and his growth spurt had helped. But, it was the weights more than anything which was transforming his body.

His arms were muscled now. His legs weren’t spindly. Andy sucked in his stomach. There wasn’t even much of a tummy left. Gone was the Butterball who got picked on by Kevin. Now there was a growing boy who looked more like a man. If he could only started growing some hair!

“Do you think I’ll get asked out this year?” Andy asked.

“Dude, just ask a girl out and get over it,” Button grunted. “What are you waiting for?”

“I don’t know,” Andy said. “I’m too afraid to ask anyone out.”

“Bud, you just go up to her and say, ‘Wanna go to a movie?” Button said. “That’s how I got Gennie to go with me to the dance.”

“What if no one will go with me?” Andy said flexing his arms. “I’m not a hot guy like you.”

“Shut up,” Button said. He set the weights down and looked Andy in the eye. “You’re a handsome dude, especially now that you’ve been working out.”

Button was being very nice. He was so cute all the girls wanted to go with him to the dance. Andy looked at his face. He was very plain looking. Since last fall, he’d had terrible acne too. He wasn’t handsome. Nobody looked at him twice.

“Do you like her?” Andy turned to ask Button. “Gennie I mean.”

“She’s okay. I have fun talking to her. We’re just going as friends you know.”

“Oh,” Andy said. “So you and her aren’t in love or anything?”

“In love?” Button said surprised. “God no. She’s pretty and funny. We like talking.”

Andy smiled at that. Button looked so shocked. “Did you hear about Brent?”

“Josie said he’s coming out to his parents.” Button nodded. “Josie’s telling her moms she’s straight. It’s pretty funny when you think about it.”

“Do you ever wonder?” Andy asked. “About sex?”

“Wonder about what?” Button looked away. “I’ve gotta work on my squats now.”

“What it would be like to be with a girl?” Andy was looking at Button strangely.

“Josie and I made out a little,” Button said. “I don’t think I’m ready for sex.”

“I wonder if I’ll ever have it.” Andy sat down. “I don’t think I will.”

“Dude. You think too much,” Button said lifting the barbell up to his shoulders. “You will meet a nice girl who will want you to boink her silly.”

Andy laughed at that. Only Button could pull him out of his dark moods. He just hoped something would come soon. Andy figured love better happen soon before it was too late. Button didn’t seem worried though. He just needed some patience.

What would he do without his best friend?

**************************

“Dad, can I talk to you?” Button asked shyly. He didn’t know how to handle this. He was so confused.

“Sure. What’s up buddy?” Craig asked.

“Can I shut the door?” he asked. “I wanna talk to just you.”

Craig got up and closed the study door. He was getting nervous now. Button was usually so quiet you had to pull information out of him. The boy had hit puberty with a vengeance and it was driving Graham crazy.

Button would brood in his room. Yell at his sister. Refuse to talk at dinner. Craig recalled he didn’t handle his own adolescence very well either. Graham was worried. He and Button fought like cats and dogs.

“What’s going on?” Craig asked looking in his eyes. Button looked down.

“I kissed a girl,” he said quietly.

“Oh? How did that go?” Craig asked. That’s what this was about. The boy was going through the question of a lifetime.

“It was okay,” Button said. “It wasn’t great.”

“Maybe it wasn’t the right person. Not every girl you kiss will make you feel good,” Craig said. “Who did you kiss?”

“Josie,” Button mumbled. “It wasn’t anything special. It felt, I don’t know, kinda weird.”

Craig sat back. No wonder the boy was confused. “Josie is like a sister to you. I’m not surprised it felt a little odd to kiss her. You don’t have feelings for her do you?”

“I think she’s pretty but I don’t feel like I love her or anything,” Button said still looking down.

“Button. Trust me. You won’t feel something special with everyone you kiss.”

“Do you think I might be gay?” Button asked. Now he looked up at his father.

“Do you have feelings for a boy?” Craig asked.

“Not really. A boy kissed me though. I felt something when he did it.” Button’s eyes were begging Craig for answers. It was obviously really bothering him a lot. “I figured you kissed my mother and you kissed that girl at the party so maybe you’d understand.”

Craig crossed his arms. “You think you might be bisexual?”

“I don’t know. What is that exactly?”

“I am attracted to some women and some men. I fell in love with your Pop but I like women too,” Craig explained. God, he hoped this confusion wasn’t his fault.

“I don’t think I like guys. I mean, not like that. I don’t really think about them, you know,” Button stammered. “I’m just so confused when Kevin kissed me and…”

“Kevin Dooley kissed you?” Craig said. ‘Too loud,’ he thought. ‘Settle down or you’ll scare him.’

“Last summer at camp he kissed me. I didn’t want it but he did it. It felt different than with Josie,” Button said. “I don’t know what it means.”

Craig sighed with relief. He’d been worried it was confusion because of his sexuality or the fact he was with a man. Nope. Button was simply trying to figure out why Kevin’s kiss felt different than Josie’s. It was only the usual teenage confusion. Thank heavens!

“When you think about who makes you feel good, is it Josie or Kevin?” he asked.

Button screwed up his face at that question. “I don’t think about either of them. Thinking about Kevin is gross.”

“Okay. When you have dreams at night are they about girls or boys?” Graham had told him about the crusty sheets.

Button just rolled his eyes. “I don’t have those kinds of dreams dad.”

“What about when you are feeling, um, aroused?” Craig asked. Button looked at him with big eyes.

“I guess I think about Gennie or Ruby or Carmel,” he admitted. Actually Carmel, who had the best curves in middle school, was the star in his jackoff fantasies. She was so sexy. He loved the look of her thick, luscious lips.

“Sounds pretty straight to me,” Craig said with a smile. “You know, neither your Pop nor I care who you like to be with, girls or boys. We don’t care.”

“Oh, I know that,” Button dismissed the thought. “I know you both love me no matter what.”

Craig relaxed. This certainly wasn’t the most comfortable discussion to have but it was okay. Button was okay. He breathed deep.

“You can’t tell Pop about this,” Button ordered suddenly. “He’ll bug me about it until I explode.”

Craig realized this opened up a perfect time to discuss this with him. He had to find out what was going on between them. Graham bitched all the time about how Button was shutting him out.

“What’s your issue with Pop?” Craig asked softly. “He’s really hurt you know.”

Button looked down. “He’s always asking me what I’m doing every minute of the day. I’m not eight years old anymore. I’m fourteen and I have my own stuff to do. Pop can’t leave me alone.”

Craig measured his words carefully. “Craig, you know your Pop. He worries.”

“He’s a worry-wart,” Button giggled. “I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“I know you’re not but he feels like you don’t need him anymore. Craig, he’s a person with feelings too.”

Button considered what his Dad just said. He thought deeply about what that meant. Sometimes he didn’t see Pop as a person. He was just his father, not someone who felt bad. That wasn’t fair, he realized. Dad was using his real name which meant this was serious. Pop deserved better.

“What do I do?” Button asked. “I love him. He’s really good to us.”

“He is. Why don’t you go to him sometimes and tell him stuff? It doesn’t have to be big stuff like this. It could be little stuff. Or, even better ask him for help with something,” Craig explained. He could see Button responding to his ideas.

“I’ve got an idea,” Button said. “I’ll make sure I think more about Pop’s feelings.”

“Thank you,” Craig said. He wondered what it was Button was going to do.

*****************

“Button, please don’t track mud in,” Graham said testily. He was still upset about what Craig said he and their son had talked about. Graham was worried the little boy was confused because of him. Craig didn’t get these things right sometimes. If Button was confused and it…

“Pop! I got a favor to ask,” Button said. He wasn’t whining. He actually looked cheerful.

“Yeah?” Graham asked warily.

“You know the big dance is this Saturday, right?” Button asked.

“Sure. Do you need chaperones or cookies baked or-“

“No, just chill Pop. I was wondering if you’d take me shopping for a shirt for the dance,” Button asked.

Graham looked at him with surprise. “You want me to take you shopping?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” Button smiled. “I’m taking Gennie. It’s kind of a big deal for me.”

Graham wanted to run over and smother the boy in kisses like he used to but restrained himself. This was a new development, a promising one. His heart almost burst with excitement.

“Let me get my keys and we’ll go,” Graham said. “Who is Gennie?”

“She’s this girl I have liked for a while. I like talking to her and she’s really pretty.”

“Is she?” Graham said. Their conversation was the best they’d had in months. He could feel Button open up and share his feelings. He was confused but not about his sexuality. Button was just confused about how he felt about people.

Button was pretty surprised at how Pop would let him talk and then give advice. It was like old times. He was especially shocked to hear Pop had a girlfriend in high school. He’d kissed her and did other stuff too. That was remarkable! Pop had been with a girl?

********************

After the dance, Button was unable to go to sleep right away. He was too excited. He’d kissed Gennie and it had been amazing. He’d even touched her tits a little and that was really, really good.

He didn’t think about anything except her soft, warm, sweet kisses as he fell asleep. Button figured he was straight. Yep, definitely straight.