Death by Dreaming - 10. Chapter 10

Angel slept the day away. Charlie and Marcus hovered near him the whole time, talking in low voices, going round and round in circles. Once or twice Angel stirred, moaning in his sleep or calling out for Marcus who always went to him and held him until he settled again.

They were both worried. Angel had been having seizures since he was five years old. By the time he was seven he pretty much had them under control and they only cropped up when he was unusually stressed, tired or unwell. The last time he had experienced a major episode was when his parents died. On that occasion he’d gone into a spiralling depression and stopped taking his epilepsy medication.

Of course this had resulted in the re emergence of the seizures which got progressively worst until he had become dangerously ill. They had been terrified they were going to lose him, in so many ways. It was probably then that Marcus had first started to see Angel in a different light, when he had started to become enthralled by the delicate beauty that hid the strength beneath.

It had taken a long time for them to stop being afraid for him. It had taken a long time for him to stop being afraid for himself. Even though it was almost seven years ago it suddenly seemed so close, so present.

“You’re remembering aren’t you?”

Charlie was watching Marcus as he lay on the bed staring at Angel with a look of something close to pain on his face. He looked up at her but didn’t smile.

“Yeah.”

“Me too. But it’s different Marcus. It is different this time.”

“Who are you trying to persuade?”

“I don’t know. But it can’t be the same Marcus... it can’t be. He’s stronger now, happier. Last time he wanted... he...”

“Charlie... it wasn’t the depression that almost killed him. It wasn’t his sorrow that caused his heart to fail. You heard what the doctors said, you know as well as I do that. I’m scared. He can’t go through that again. I don’t know if I could go through it. Not now... not with... with things the way they are between us. It would kill me before it killed him. I swear to God Charlie... if it is them... if they are hurting him... I’m going to kill them.”

“I think you’re going down the wrong road Marcus. I really don’t think that they would do anything like that. They know the score too. To mess with him like this... it’s not just his health they’re screwing around with... it’s his life. Charles Bishop is a rat, a worm... but he’s not a killer.”

“Not yet.”

“Marcus...”

“I know it’s them Charlie.” He said in a low dangerous voice. “I know they’re doing something to him. I don’t know what, not yet but I’m going to find out and when I do I am going to take them apart piece by piece. And in the meantime I am not going to let him out of my sight.”

“He was in your sight last night. You were right here Marcus. You were with him when it happened, when he had that dream. Don’t you think you would have woken up if someone was in here? You would have known.”

“Maybe.”

“No maybe... you would have. You know what you’re like... you wake at the slightest thing.”

“I didn’t wake when he had a fit in the night did I? We know that happened and I didn’t wake... why?”

“Maybe it wasn’t a bad one.”

Marcus looked at her and she turned her face away, unable to bear the look in his eyes. “I woke up feeling like crap this morning, we both did. What if it wasn’t a hangover?”

“What do you mean?”

“We went in for a drink with the men last night... you didn’t. We woke up in a shit place and you were fine.”

“Are you suggesting that they drugged you?”

“I don’t know but I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Marcus don’t you think you are taking this a bit far?”

“I don’t know. It fits... a lot of things fit. One thing I am sure of and that is that whatever is going on... if I find out that anyone is hurting Angel I won’t rest until I make them pay... in blood.”

“I still think you’re being paranoid but if... and it's a huge if... if you are right then I’m right with you, all the way.”

They were silent for a while and Marcus began to unconsciously play with Angel’s hair.

“So what are we going to do?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really know what we can do...”

“What are we going to do about what?”

Charlie and Marcus both jumped as Angel turned over and yawned.

“What are we going to do about you? You’re such a sleepyhead. You’ve slept all day and we’ve been bored out of our heads.”

“Sorry. What time is it?”

“Gone four.”

“Bugger. No Glastonbury then.”

“Nope. Never mind... it's been a filthy day anyway. We’ll go tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

“How are you feeling now?”

“Would you believe tired?”

“Nope. You have been sleeping too long already. No more sleeping allowed and no tiredness either because that would just be greedy. Aren’t you hungry?”

He thought for a while then smiled. “Yeah... I suppose I am.” He sighed. “We could have been eating steak in The George right now.”

“The steak will still be there tomorrow hun and so, hopefully will the sun.”

“Yeah.”

Charlie got to her feet stretching. “I’ll go down to the kitchen and see what Betty can do. Where do you want to eat? Here?”

“No, I’ll come down. I won’t sleep tonight if I don’t move around a bit, besides I feel stiff and yukky.”

“By the look of you hun you’ll sleep tonight no matter what. Are you sure?”

Angel looked up at him smiling at the tenderness in his voice, then sighed. “Yeah... If I stay here I’ll just go back to sleep and now you mention it I am hungry. I haven’t eaten all day.”

“Okay then. See you in the family room?”

Angel smiled and nodded but when she had gone he made no move to get up snuggling instead into Marcus’ arms.

“You okay?”

“No.”

“What’s up?”

“I’m scared Marcus.”

“What are you scared of. I told you... I’m here now and I am going to look after you. There’s nothing and no one going to hurt you when I’m here.”

He said it so fiercely, so protectively that Angel had to smile but the smile didn’t last long. “I don’t think you can Marc. I don’t think that this is something anyone can protect me from. These dreams... there’s nothing that can stop them and I... I feel like...”

“What babe? What do you feel like?” Tenderly Marcus stroked the hair from his face and left his hand on the side of his face making little circles on his cheek with his thumb. Angel bit his lip then looked Marcus full in the eyes.

“I feel like I’m dying Marcus. I feel like these dreams have opened a big dark hole inside me and I’m sinking into it and dying.”

“Don't you say that. Don’t you ever say that. You’re not sinking anywhere. The dreams are just that... dreams, and dreams can’t hurt you. If they are hurting you it’s because you are letting them. It’s the fear that’s dragging you down Angel, can’t you see that? It’s just the fear. Be strong and brave and the fear will go away... you’ll be fine.”

“I don’t know...”

“Sssh. I won’t let anything happen to you Angel.”

“Marcus I... last time this happened I...”

“That was different. You were fourteen and you had just lost your parents. You were in a terrible place and you weren’t taking your meds. You’re a man now. You’re strong and fit and in love. You have everything to live for and you are going to get through this. Whatever is going on we are going to find a way through it.”

“I hope so.” He whispered, tears trickling from the corners of his eyes.

“We will Angel. I swear to you we will.”

“Marcus I’m so scared. I don’t want to get ill again, not like last time. I know that if I do... I don’t want to die Marc. I really don’t want to die.”

“Woah... who the hell said anything about dying? You’re having a blimp that’s all. A couple of seizures doesn’t mean you’re going down that road again. I told you... that was then and this is now. It’s different this time. This time I’m here.”

“You were here last time. If I remember... it was you... you and Charlie that... that made me want to fight then. I was ready to let go... but you wouldn’t let me. Do you remember? Do you remember that day in the hospital when... when...”

“Remember? I’ll never forget. They had told us that if you had another seizure your heart wouldn’t be able to take it and you would die. And then... and then when you... We were talking about your mother and you got so...”

“You were sitting on the bottom of the bed and Charlie was looking out of the window. Your father was coming to get you and you didn’t want to go. I was... I was thinking about you leaving and how lonely it would be all on my own. You told me that you wouldn’t go... that you would never leave me on my own.”

Marcus smiled and stroked his face, running his finger softly over his lips. “And then Charles arrived and insisted that we all leave. He tried to say that as your guardian he was the one who should decide who was allowed in with you.”

Angel smiled. “Neither you nor Charlie were having any of that.”

“Nope. Like I said... never gonna leave you.”

“And you never did. Even when... even when I almost left you.”

“It was the scariest thing that ever happened to me. I still dream about it sometimes. Charles was throwing his weight about and you were getting upset. Charlie was screaming at him and I was trying to sort her out and push him away at the same time and none of us were thinking of you. My father walked through the door, took one look at you and yanked Charles out of there physically by the collar and then all hell broke loose.”

“I don’t remember.” Angel said softly.

“No wonder. You didn’t even have a chance to seize. You started to go off and then you crashed. Alarms were going off and there were people everywhere and they dragged me out. I thought that was it. I thought I had lost you. I was sure you were dead.”

“I... it hurt. It hurt a lot once I was aware of it. I wanted to die, just to get away from the pain. It wasn’t just my heart, it was everything... my head, my chest, everywhere they had shocked me or stuck needles in me... it was awful. And I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t speak , couldn’t move. The only thing that kept me sane was the sound of your voice. You spent hours talking to me.”

“I didn’t think... You heard that? I didn’t think you were aware.”

Angel nodded. “Yeah... the whole time.”

“Hell. If I had known I would have talked about something more interesting.”

“I wasn’t really up to interested at that point... just to listening to the sound of your voice, knowing you were there.”

“I was always there. I will always be there.”

“Why have we never talked about this before?”

“Because we put it behind us Angel, and moved on. And we are going to do it again. We are going to put it behind us and move on. This is a blimp, a hurdle. We’ll get over it and move on. You are not going down that road again, I won’t let you. You are going to be fine.”

“I don’t know. This feels... The dreams are weird Marcus. You don’t know. There’s something going on, something really strange. I don’t know what it is and it scares me. I...I’m really spooked out. It feels like something reaches right into my head when I’m asleep and I have no idea if it is trying to help me or hurt me.

“I don’t know how to describe it but there is this... feeling. It is like everything slows down and gets thin and distorted. I feel as if I’m not even in the same world any more, as if someone just reaches in and yanks me through into a different dimension. But it’s all so unfair because the dreams don’t help me stop it happening. They tell me it’s coming but they don’t let me stop it.”

“It’s going to be alright.” Marcus said firmly and stopped Angel from speaking any more by kissing him.

Charlie was waiting impatiently in the family room, pacing and staring out at the rain which was falling in steady sheets outside the window. She turned when they entered looking relieved.

“Where have you been? Betty’s been in here about a hundred times to see if you were down yet. We’re having stew. I thought it would be the easiest and it’s good for you.”

Angel smiled, still looking tired but so much better than he had before that Charlie’s heart rose.

“Good. I’m starving now.”

They ate in silence and, for all he had said he was starving Angel ate little, frowning at his plate and playing with his food. The meal was subdued and conversation stilted as Angel was distracted and morose. Charlie and Marcus did their best but Angel was the focus, he had always been the focus. When his mood was high conversation flowed and sparkled, when he wasn’t it didn’t, simple as.

After dinner the evening dragged on. They played a few games in the games room but they were half hearted and eventually they petered out and simply sat around chatting and drinking wine. Angel looked worn out. He sat on the sofa next to Marcus with his head on his shoulder playing with a long stemmed wine glass the contents of which hadn’t diminished for some time.

“So have you made any plans for October? You said that Charles wanted to extend the guardianship but you have your own ideas... have you done anything about them?”

Angel smiled, a secret smile and tapped the glass distractedly with his fingers. “Do you remember Angus McFadden?”

“McFadden? No, I don’t think so.”

“We met at that dinner party in Chelsea last year.”

“You mean the one who had been living in Australia?”

“Yes. I talked to him a lot that night and we met up afterwards. We really hit it off. He needed a job so I gave him one in the company and he turned out to be pure gold. He’s a natural. He has everyone eating out of his hands and he’s really impressed Sir Alfred. He’s already been moved up twice and he’s taken to the whole business as if he was born to it.

“We’ve met up regularly over the last couple of months and he’s been coaching me. Sir Alfred’s helped out and as soon as the control transfers to me we have big changes in place all ready to go.

“I think Charles is going to have a shock... especially because he has been playing little games of his own.” His voice was partly amused and partly angry.

“What do you mean ‘little games’?

“He’s been siphoning off money into his own account for years. I found out by accident and I’ve been keeping tabs on it. He’s also been having negotiations with some of our biggest clients. What he doesn’t realise is that so have we. Charles is a talented businessman but his tactics and his personality leave a lot to be desired and that rubs of on our clients. Put simply... people respect him as a business man but they don’t like him as a person.”

“Whereas everyone loves you.”

Angel gave her a strange look then smiled. “Not always but they do like me better than Charles, and many of them have fond memories of my father. A lot of people don’t like what Charles has been doing to the business since my father died. He’s increased the profits for sure but there is more to life than money.

“Long story short... people don’t like Charles and they can’t wait to see the back of him. He’s been playing his little games but there are plenty of eyes watching him doing so and most of them are reporting back to me. I have my finger on the pulse far more than he thinks I have and as soon as I am able I am ready to act. Trust me... by Christmas Charles Bishop will be out of my life once and for all.”

“And not a moment too soon.”

“I can’t disagree with that.”

“What on earth was your father thinking of in making him your guardian in the first place? There were plenty of people who would have taken you in, in a heartbeat, and who would have loved you. I mean did your father speak of it to you?

“No. Why would he? He didn’t think he was going to die did he? No one thought he was going to die. I don’t know if he would have done it at all if he had. I have thought about it a lot and I can’t understand it any more than you can... except that none of us knew what a complete bastard Charles was until afterwards.

“I can remember when my parents were alive that Charles and Mary would come to dinner and it would be great fun. He can be charming when he wants to be. He and my father would lock themselves away in the study for hours and talk about business and... whatever and we would hear them laughing. My mother never liked Mary very much, they weren’t bosom pals but she put up with her for my father’s sake.

“The kids used to be okay too, back then. Henry was a bit of a bully and Anabelle has always been a spoiled brat but Arthur was okay. We would play on the Playstation and stuff... he was good. He was always quiet and thoughtful and I think, in other circumstances we could have been friends. Now, he’s picked on almost as much as I am and I think he’s scared to be nice to me.”

Angel sighed snuggling into Marcus’ side. Marcus put his arm around him and drew him closer still.

“I can’t imagine anyone not wanting to be nice to you.”

“I think you might be slightly biased. You make me sound like Mary Poppins.”

“Mary Popping was an ogre next to you.”

“I’m not THAT nice. I can be a ruthless bastard when I have to be... it’s just that I don’t take delight in it like the Charles Bishops of this world. Although I have to admit that I am really looking forward to taking him down a peg or two... that’s a bit of ruthlessness I am definitely going to delight in. There are going to be fireworks sure enough.”

Angel sat up... his eyes sparkling. “Now THAT’s an idea.”

“What is?”

“Fireworks. I haven’t had fireworks for years. I was thinking of having a bit of a party while you guys were over... just a few friends... you know... Clay and Lucie, Harry... Why don’t we have a firework party? I can get Charlton to sort it out...he used to do epic firework displays when I was a kid.”

“Sounds wonderful.” Said Charlie, her eyes sparkling every bit as much as Angel’s. “When were you thinking of having the party?”

“Towards the end of the week. Everyone seems to be busy with events at weekends this time of the year but no one will be back at school or uni yet so I thought maybe Thursday afternoon / night.”

“Sounds awesome. Fireworks will piss Charles off nicely too.”

“The thought never crossed my mind,” said Angel innocently, but with an evil grin on his face.

“Where will we have it?”

“I thought that if the weather was nice we could put a marquee up on the lawn and have a bbq... or we could have a pool party.”

“Or both.”

“Hmm... that might be nice. The pool looks lovely at night... we can open all the doors and it’s practically outside... and put fairy lights up in the trees...”

“And have a band... a live band playing. Do you think it’s too late to find someone?”

“Depends what you want. I guess 30 Seconds To Mars might be hard to get but there’s bound to be something out there.”

“Awww... dash my hopes. Now that you two are unavailable I thought I might give Jared a chance.”

“Oh, oh... someone had better send him an email to double up on security... better still leave the country... leave the planet.”

“Ha ha.”

“I’ll talk to Charlton in the morning. Let’s get a pad and work some things out.”

They spent a very pleasant rest of the evening planning the party. Charlie, as usual tried unconsciously to take over and the boys had to work very hard to ensure that the whole thing did not become too ‘pink’. Similarly they had to keep tight reign on the guest list otherwise half of London’s ‘in crowd’ would have been descending on them. Angel didn’t think that he could imagine anything worse and he was hard pressed to keep the numbers down to under 50.

“I was thinking of something ‘small’. I just wanted an intimate private party for our friends.”

“It is small... tiny. And it is intimate and just for our friends.”

“Charlie, 50 people is not a small intimate party. And I don’t even know half the people on that list.”

“I know them.”

“People you bump into at functions now and again do not count as friends.”

“Spoilsport.”

In the end they compromised... they always compromised that is how three people with such vastly differing personalities managed to get along so well.

By the time they had exhausted the possibilities and themselves it was late and they went to bed relaxed and content. Angel had so thrown himself into the spirit of the escapade that the others had released their fear and it was the last thing on their minds.

When they were snuggled up to each other in bed Marcus looked deeply into Angel’s eyes, his hands buried in the soft tangle of his hair.

“I will never get tired of looking into your eyes. They are the most amazing colour, so blue.”

“They’re okay... they do what they are supposed to do... let me see you. Your eyes are mad... they change colour. There are a clear icy grey around the outside and brown in the middle so that when the pupils contract they look all warm and flecked and pretty and when they expand they look cold and frosty and clear.”

“Are you trying to tell me I have cold eyes?”

“Only sometimes... and that’s only the colour, the expression is something different altogether. I have never looked into your eyes and found them cold.”

“That’s because they never are for you. My eyes show what my heart feels and that is nothing but warmth.”

“Gods we are getting poetical. Next thing we know we’ll be writing poetry to each other and you know where that leads.”

“I do?” Marcus looked amused and Angel laughed.

“Right down the slippery slope that ends with matching sweaters and pet names.”

“Ooh pet names. Let’s see... hmm...”

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you even think of it. If you start calling me ‘snooky pie’ or ‘snuggle buns’ I’m out of here. Well no, actually I live here... you’re out of here.”

Marcus smiled a far away kind of smile and bent forward to brush Angel’s lips with his own. “Actually,” he whispered, his breath tickling Angel’s cheek. “I was thinking that there is no pet name that I could find that would be cuter or fit you more perfectly than Angel. You are my angel, my beautiful golden angel.”

Angel giggled and blushed, looking up at Marcus coquettishly through the thick golden ropes of his hair and obscenely long lashes. It was just so cute that Marcus growled softly in his throat and pulled Angel closer, kissing him.

Their lovemaking that night was wild, animalistic and desperate as if they were both trying to prove something... the same thing... that Angel was strong and vibrant and full of life, and up to a point he was. That point came when Marcus was lying in a trembling heap, replete and utterly satisfied smiling up at him and Angel was lying between his legs, raised on his elbows smiling down at him.

“I can’t believe you Angel. You are the most amazing creature I have ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on. You are awesome, unbelievable, incredible... I have never... Angel?”

Angel had gone very still and was staring at Marcus but no longer with a light in his eyes. His face was utterly blank and his arms stiff.

Marcus reached up and brushed the damp hair away from his face. He didn’t stir. “Oh Angel.”

After a few minutes Angel’s arms began to shake and he collapsed across Marcus with a low moan. Marcus wrapped his arms around him and held him close. He was shaking and Marcus stroked his back soothingly.

“You okay babe?”

“I... what... what was I?”

“You were making me the happiest man in creation hun, and I was just about to tell you how awesome you are.”

“I... “ He raised his head and looked at Marcus with confused eyes, his hair flopping over his face. Marcus forced himself to smile at him even though his heart had sunk painfully low.

Carefully Marcus rolled Angel off him, and held him gently, stroking his damp skin. Angel shivered and stared at Marcus with dazed eyes.

“You okay? You look tired.”

“I... I feel a little...”

“Did I wear you out hun? Too much of a man for you?”

Angel smiled uncertainly, still looking confused and spacey.

“I don’t...”

“Aw baby... you’re exhausted. It’s been a hell of a day. Why don’t you just go to sleep now? We’re going to Glastonbury tomorrow. You know how excited you get when we go there.”

Angel smiled and sighed, closing his eyes. Marcus watched him for a while, stroking his hair, until he was sure he was asleep, then he lay on his back, pulling Angel close, resting his cheek on his hair, and stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours before he finally fell asleep.