Death by Dreaming - 12. Chapter 12

The George and Pilgrims hotel is an awesome establishment. Built in the fifteenth century to house pilgrims to nearby Glastonbury Abbey, it has been absorbed seamlessly into the main street of Glastonbury town. It had always been one of Angel’s favourite places to eat, more for the ambience than the quality of the food... which was not half bad of itself.

At first glance the front of the pub was nothing much to look at, unless of course you had an appreciation of historical architecture or an eye for the truly extraordinary. Leaded glass windows and delicate gothic stonework gave the fascia a charming ‘other worldly’ air and drew you inside into an atmosphere of mystery steeped in history as the long corridor that opened off the main door snaked back into the gloom, with oak panelling hiding numerous little rooms each with their own flavour and feeling of cosy seclusion.

Having said this, Angel’s favourite place was in the main bar, to the right off the entrance. The room was dominated by a huge oak fireplace in which there was sometimes a roaring fire although of course not on a day like today, and the same leaded windows that caught the attention from the outside. From the inside it was possible to see the true glory of the stained glass which glowed in jewel bright colours, casting dancing rainbows onto the tables close by.

Today they were lucky and the seat right in the window was free. They all say down gratefully. Angel would never have admitted how much of an ordeal it had been for him to walk from the tor to the pub, which was a fair distance at the best of times. Even he would admit that today was not his best time. Charlie and Marcus looked haunted and had been exchanging glances the whole way, ready to catch him if he collapsed... but he didn’t and he was actually feeling better when he sank with a sigh onto the seat.

The light from the window caught his hair and woke it to vibrant life. Coloured rays from the stained glass dyed it turquoise, red and purple. He drew attention from all corners of the room, some of open mouthed astonishment. He was, as usual entirely oblivious to it.

While Marcus went to get the drinks Charlie sat and watched Angel thoughtfully. He seemed relaxed and even cheerful now but there was something about him that made her wonder. Angel had no dark side... there was no room for shadow in his brightness but today they were there, clear in his eyes. She would have given anything to know what he was thinking about.

Angel looked up and smiled when Marcus put the drinks on the table and slid in next to him. He dropped a menu in front of him and brushed the sticky surface of the table with one finger.

“Are you sure you want to eat here?”

“Aw come on Marcus, stop being such a snob. The food is good. I love the steaks here.”

“Is it safe to eat off these tables?”

“Hasn’t killed me yet.”

“Hmm. I’ll take your word for it but if it makes me sick you can sit up with me all night in the bathroom.”

“It’s a deal.”

Actually the food was good. Angel tried his best but his appetite had not been what it should have been for days. He was aware that his friends were worried and really didn’t want them to be so he tried hard but, in the end he had to push the plate away less than half finished. He was annoyed with himself. A lot of things about the way he was feeling annoyed him. He was fading and knew it but there was nothing he could do about it. He sighed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Huh?”

“That was the biggest sigh I have ever heard.”

“Oh... nothing. I was just thinking.”

“Thinking what?”

“Just thinking. Dangerous I know.” He tried to smile but even he was aware how thin it was.

“Aren’t you going to eat that? After you made all that fuss about it?”

He shrugged. “I did my best.”

“Do you want to go home?”

“No. I want to stay here and get pissed.”

“Is that wise?”

“I don’t feel like being wise.”

“Angel...”

“Look... I know you’re worried about me. I... I suppose I’m a little worried about myself but... you’re here on holiday and I don’t want to spoil that. I want to have fun, maybe forget what’s going on for a while. I want to... I want to stop thinking about what’s happening to me because, to be honest it’s freaking me out.”

“Well, firstly we’re not here on holiday we’re here to support you. And it really doesn’t matter whether we are having fun or not... we’re with you and that’s all that matters. Besides, just being with you IS fun.”

Marcus smiled. “I'll second that.”

“Thanks but...”

“Angel... it’s not good to dwell on these things. I know the dreams are freaking you out and you think they have something to do with you getting ill but, honestly they have nothing to do with it. There’ll be a perfectly factual reason for it.

“Listen... I’ve been thinking. I think it wouldn’t be a bad idea if you went to see Dr Cole. Maybe your medication needs changing. It happens.”

“That’s a good idea. When did you last see him?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been stable for so long... definitely before Christmas.”

“Then it would be good wouldn’t it?”

“I don’t want to go...” He held up his hands to forestall the onslaught, “...but I will, I will... tomorrow.”

“There might be a very simple answer hun... and it’s best to get it fixed before it gets any worse.”

“Yeah... I suppose.”

Angel lowered his head to stare morosely into his pint, allowing his hair to fall like curtains to effectively block them out.

“That’s not going to work you know.”

“What isn’t?”

“Trying to pretend it isn’t happening and thinking that if you shut us out we’ll let you forget.”

“Perish the thought.”

“Angel...”

“Look... we’re in a pub, having a drink. The sun is shining, the place is full of people chilling and being happy. Why is it so bad to want to forget about all this crap for a while and have a good time too? I’ve already told you I am going to call the damn doctor tomorrow. What more can I do?”

They both stared at him. Angel so rarely raised his voice that it was truly shocking when he lost his temper. He glanced up and them and sighed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lose my temper but can we please just chill out and forget about it. I really need to chill. I feel... I don’t know... I feel that my life is running away from me, spiralling out of control and I need... I just need some normality.”

“Yeah, and what’s more normal than getting pissed with your friends? One of whom I have to point out is not actually able to drink because I have to drive you home.”

“Enjoy your coke.” Angel said tersely as he emptied his glass and squeezed out from behind the table to go to the bar. “Do you want a drink Charlie?”

“Umm...” She looked from Angel’s scowling face to Marcus’ and sighed. “Oh, for goodness sake. If you two are going to go from loved up to at each other’s throats that fast why don’t you just go straight to the ‘I never want to see you again you bastard’ and have done with it? Angel, I know this has all been hard for you and, of course it is perfectly natural and acceptable to want some normality, but that does not mean you have to jump down our throats whenever we are concerned about you. And Marcus, of course you are worried about Angel but that doesn’t mean you have to wrap him up in cotton wool and get snippy if he doesn’t want to be coddled.

“Right. Now go and get me a vodka and coke and when you come back try and get on with each other or I am going to drive the car home and you two can walk.”

For a moment Angel stared at her... and then he burst into laughter and grinned at Marcus. “Want another coke?”

Marcus smiled back. “Yeah right... I’m wildly excited by the prospect. Tell you what... let’s push the boat out and have lemonade this time.”

That night Marcus made sure he stayed awake until Angel fell asleep and set his watch alarm to vibrate him awake early the following morning, so that he could pull the table in front of the door and back again without Angel being aware of what he was doing.

Whether the table was of any assistance or not both Angel and Marcus spent a peaceful night without incident or dream.

When he had replaced the table early next morning, before the window opener had a chance to catch him at it so to speak, Marcus lay for a while looking down at Angel sleeping. He was entirely entranced by the unconscious beauty, so much so that he could not help but touch it.

Angel barely stirred as Marcus brushed his fingers against his cheek. Marcus smiled and idly toyed with his hair until he sighed and, still fast asleep turned towards the touch, tucking his hand under his cheek. He looked so cute that Marcus just had to stroke him again and he twitched and yawned then opened his eyes and blinked sleepily with a smile that almost blinded him.

“Hey sleepyhead. How are you feeling this morning?”

“I’ll let you know when I wake up.”

“Do want help with that?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“What you had in mind.”

“Aaah... how about this?”

“Uhhh...mmhmm... oooh” The look in Angel’s eyes as Marcus ran his hands over his body meant that the playing didn’t last long before it became serious and they made love hard and fast, proving something to each other all over again, and again and again.

When at last they lay spent in each other’s arms they lay for the longest time staring into each other’s eyes. It was a long, lazy, sweet time and neither of them wanted to break the moment. They were still lying there lost in each other when the maid came to open the curtains. When she saw that they were awake she bowed out and they settled down again and resumed staring at each other.

“God you’re beautiful.”

“So you’ve said.”

“You’re even more beautiful when you blush.”

Angel blushed even deeper and responded by cutting off the comments with a kiss.

When they eventually rolled out of bed and into the shower Marcus had to keep his eyes closed or they would have ended up straight back in bed.

“Fuck Angel... how do you keep getting more and more beautiful every day. I’m sure your ass wasn’t that gorgeous yesterday.”

“Behave yourself. We’ll have Charlie on our case again.”

Marcus spun him round and took him into his arms. “I can’t help it. You’re like a drug... I just can’t get enough of you.”

Angel ducked his head and peered up through eyelashes dewed with water. The sparkling blue was truly shocking in all the paleness of his face and hair and drove Marcus wild. He had to kiss him.

“Less of that... we have to GO.”

“I can’t help it... I told you... I’m drugged and not responsible for my actions.” Angel giggled and even that inflamed Marcus. “Fuck Angel... everything you do is damned fucking cute today.”

“It must be my day. About time huh?”

“Fucking right hun. One more kiss... just one more and I promise I will let you get out of the shower.”

“Just one?”

“One really really really long one.”

Laughing Angel kissed him again and it was a really really really long one. By the time they got downstairs to the family room they were both glowing and, because of the early start arrived only a little after Charlie.

“Wow... this is a first. You two up before noon.”

“We’re always up before noon.”

“Barely.”

“Yeah well... we have better things to do in the mornings than come chew the fat with you.”

“Please... I don’t want to know what you have been chewing.”

Angel blushed scarlet but Marcus just laughed and slapped him on the ass.

“Aww... watch it.”

“Have you rung the doctor yet?”

Angel scowled at her. “Way to go with bringing down my mood.”

“It’s important Angel.”

“I know... I know... It’s just... I’m feeling good today... don’t want to spoil it. Can’t I wait until tomorrow?”

“Wait for another fit?”

“Thanks for that.”

“Look... I don’t want to bring you down hun... but I don’t want you to get ill again either. What is it going to hurt to talk to him?”

“I know... I know... Oh Alright. I’ll go and do it now. Will you be happy then? Can we spend the rest of the day having fun and not thinking about it?”

“I promise.”

With a sigh Angel got up and stalked out of the room. Charlie rolled her eyes at Marcus who smiled.

“You know I’m only nagging him because I love him right? I don’t want to bring him down but I’m worried.”

“I know hun... I’m worried too. You did the right thing and he’ll acknowledge that too when it’s sorted. He just... it’s hard for him to accept that he’s ill. He doesn’t like to be weak.”

“He’s not weak. He’ll never be weak.”

“I know that. He doesn’t.”

“Hmmm. So are you still harbouring your conspiracy theory? I mean he was poorly yesterday and there were no dreams, nothing sinister.”

“No... but that doesn’t mean anything. With something like that you just light the blue touchpaper and wait for the firework to go up.”

“Something like what? You still don’t have any idea what they could be doing even if they were doing something.”

“Just because I don’t know what they’re doing doesn’t mean they aren’t doing anything. Wait until Harry gets back to us.”

“Yeah... what exactly have you got Harry doing for you?”

“It’s a secret.”

“Oh dear. Why do I get worried when I hear the words ‘Harry’ and ‘secret’ in close proximity?”

“Ordinarily I would agree with you but if he comes through this time he’s forgiven for every bit of grief he has ever tossed my way... and he is a tosser so it amounts to a tonne.”

“There’s a way to speak about a friend... and a friend you have probably asked to do something highly illegal too knowing you.”

“Would I do something like that?”

“You certainly would and I am sure you have.”

“Not that illegal.”

“And what are you going to do if he finds something?”

“I don’t know. It depends what he finds.”

“You’re playing with fire Marcus. You know that.”

“I’m doing whatever it takes to protect Angel Charlie, that’s all.”

“Protect me from what?”

They both looked up started. Angel was scowling, lounging in the doorway.

“Just yourself hun. What did the doc say?”

“I have to go in.”

“Go in where?”

“To the clinic of course... to see the doctor.”

“When?”

“Today.”

“Today?”

“Right now... well as soon as I can get in.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah... thanks guys.”

“Angel... if he’s worried enough to want to see you right away then it’s a good thing you got in touch when you did. Besides... if we get it over with today then we’ll have the rest of the week to ourselves, no problem.”

“Yeah right... no problem.”

“Angel...”

“It’s okay. I’m fine... just... I’ll meet you in the car in half an hour.”

“What about breakfast?”

He shook his head and walked away. Marcus and Charlie exchanged glances.

“Should I go after him?”

“I don’t think so. I think he needs a minute.”

“What’s got him so freaked out?”

“You know. He has been trying to pretend this hasn’t been happening from the very start. Although he doesn’t show it he’s completely freaked out and scared it is going to go the way it did before. He’s been trying to blank it out and now he can’t. He’s afraid that Dr Cole is going to tell him that he’s getting sick again. Hell Charlie... that’s what I’m scared of too.”

She reached out and squeezed his hand. “This sucks.”

“Fucking right. And when I find out how that fucker Henry is involved I am going to tear his fucking head off.”

“If Marcus.”

“When Charlie.”

***

Dr Brendan Cole worked out of a very exclusive clinic in the South West of London. The fact that the clinic received most of its revenue from costly cosmetic surgeries did not detract from the fact that Dr Cole was a first class physician and had been the Bartholomew family doctor for many years. He had been a good friend of Angel’s father and a regular visitor at the estate when Lord Bartholomew had been alive.

During the terrible times after the death of his parents Angel had grown to look on the man as a second father and trusted him possibly more than he trusted anyone else in the world, save perhaps for Marcus. However, he was the last person he wanted to see at this point in his life and could not help but show his feelings in uncharacteristic bad temper.

The doctor spent some time speaking at length to all three of the friends about the events of the preceding weeks and then ushered Angel away leaving Charlie and Marcus to wander the building and gardens as the minutes ticked away, turning to hours and chilling their hearts.

They were almost unbearably relieved when, on being summoned to Dr Cole’s office, they found the Doctor and Angel sitting in silence waiting for them. Although they had not said so they had both been afraid that Angel would not be returning home with them that day or any day soon. Marcus had almost preyed for it. If he were out of that house...

Charlie went straight to Angel and hugged him and he smiled in surprise. Dr Cole wasn’t smiling.

“I was hoping you might talk some sense into your friend Lady Charlotte as he certainly isn’t listening to me.”

Angel scowled.

“What’s going on? Why are you not listening Angel? Not that this is anything new or particularly surprising with you.”

“He wants me to stay here for a few days.”

“Then isn't that what you should do?” Marcus said immediately.

Angel stared at him as if he had betrayed him and sneered. “Yeah right. I am going to languish in here while Charles and Henry sit at home hatching their little plots and seeing their lawyers. I am going to sit in here when I am supposed to be having fun with supposedly my two best friends? This is not a good time for this.”

“It never is a good time for this Angel. However I have to ask you to think very carefully about what you are doing. The last time you had episodes on this scale you damaged your heart. You know that. We never made any secret about it to you. We have been monitoring you closely and you have been doing fine but your heart can’t stand a period of repeated seizures on the magnitude you have been describing.

“From the tests we have done today there is no neurological damage evident, not as yet but... Angel...” Angel had turned away, everything about his body language telling the story that he didn’t want to hear, was refusing to acknowledge. “Angel... you can't hide from this.”

“What’s wrong?”

Marcus looked from Angel to the doctor and could practically see... something, hovering in the air between them.

“Angel tell me the truth... please... did you have chest pain when you were climbing the tor yesterday?”

Angel closed down. Everyone could see it. He turned his head away and shutters dropped behind his eyes.

“You’re not hurting anyone but yourself you know. You can’t make this go away by ignoring it and pretending it isn’t happening.”

“What do you want me to say?” He shrugged looking furious.

“The truth Angel, that’s all. I know it already... you know that.”

“Then why are you pushing me? If you know the answer why do you want to hear me say it?”

“It’s not so much that I want to hear you say it Angel, it’s that I want to know you acknowledge it. It’s important.”

“Oh well... if it’s so fucking important to you... yes... okay? Yes I did have chest pain when I was climbing... and before I had the fit. Happy now?”

“Before the fit?”

“Yes... when I started to shake. I wanted to say something to Marcus, to tell him I was in trouble, but the pain was too intense... I couldn’t speak.”

“Angel... please reconsider. It’s clear from the tests we’ve done today that your heart is struggling already. If you have more seizures you are not just risking injury or brain damage... your heart could give out at any time and if you’re not close to someone who can help you...”

“Angel you have to stay here... you have to.”

“Don’t tell me what I have to do.”

“This is no time for being stubborn Angel. Please...”

“I’m not staying. That’s the end of it. I’m happy to come back for more tests later in the week if you really have to... but I am not staying here.”

“Alright...I know what you’re like. I know how pointless it is to argue with you. Here. I want you to take these pills twice a day with your epilepsy medication. This is a spray. If you feel any sign of heart pain, two sprays under the tongue...but if that happens get your arse straight back in here... and no nonsense understand?”

Angel simply stared at him, conflicting emotions chasing themselves across his face. “Angel this isn’t a game, or a joke... this is your life. I don’t know what I can say to get you to understand how serious this is. If you have a major seizure your heart could stop and if that happens, out there in the middle of nowhere...by the time an ambulance could get to you it might be too late. If you leave here now you could die Angel. I don’t want to see that happen.”

“I understand. Of course I understand. I understand more than you think I do. It’s you who don’t understand.”

“You’re right. I don’t. But I can’t force you to stay. If you insist on leaving then so be it. But any time... any time at all you are worried then please... please come straight back.”

“If I worry I’ll come back... I promise.”

“Why doesn’t that reassure me?”

“Because I am a stubborn, single minded jackass... just like my father... isn’t that what you said?”

“Or something like it... and I stand by every word.”

They were both smiling now, not so Charlie and Marcus and they both mentally prepared to leap on him the moment they got outside the door. At the end of the meeting Dr Cole asked to speak to them alone. Reluctantly Angel agreed to wait outside.

“I know that you are very good friends to Angel and your first impulse is going to be to try and persuade him to change his mind about checking into the clinic. It’s what I would do... but I am asking you not to.”

“What? But why? Isn’t that what you want?”

“Yes... yes it is but... Angel is under a lot of stress at the moment, what with everything that is going on in his life, as well as this sudden illness. His heart is not strong and I would prefer if he did not suffer any additional stress.”

“I see. Alright. I promise... no nagging.”

Marcus frowned and did not, at first respond. “How much danger is he in?”

“If we bring the seizures under control then very little. His heart has been placed under a great deal of strain and there was a weakness there from before... it will always be there. But if the seizures stop he’ll be fine.”

“And if not?”

“If not then every time it happens there is a greater chance that his heart will stop. Maybe the next time...maybe the time after.”

“And if that happens?”

“As I said to you Marcus... where you are out there in the country...” He shook his head and the bottom dropped out of Marcus’ world.

“So how do we make sure the seizures stop?”

“There is nothing you can do to ensure it. Keep him as calm as possible and avoid stress. There’s a muscle relaxant in the pills I’ve given him that should help although be warned it will make him quite sleepy and spaced out for a few days. That’s all to the good. If you can get him to stay in bed that would be wonderful but I think that’s too much to ask so just try and keep him quiet and relaxed and see where we go from there. Bring him back on Friday and we’ll take another look and see where we’re going.”

“Thanks.”

“It’s my pleasure. It’s always my pleasure. You know that I am fond of Angel and this has really knocked me for six.”

“Dr Cole... what do you think is causing this? Why have Angel’s seizures just suddenly started again?”

“There are a lot of possible reasons for it Marcus. We are going to have to monitor him carefully and do some more tests over a long period of time before we can tell with any degree of certainty.”

“But what could it be? I mean to make it get so bad so fast?”

“I don’t know... another underlying illness, a change in physiology that makes the medication ineffective... it’s not unknown that people develop a tolerance to the medication over time that reduces its effectiveness.”

“But surely that would have been a more gradual decline and not as sudden as this?”

“Granted, this is somewhat surprising. The sudden onset is concerning as is the severity of the current symptoms. You have to remember that the heart problems are not wholly precipitated by the seizures but have probably been present if dormant since birth. We have been keeping an eye on him and they had settled and were unconcerning until now. I can’t explain why this has all happened and certainly not as quickly as it has. Perhaps Angel has picked up a virus or something that is not symptomatic but interferes with the drugs.”

“What if he was given other drugs... could they react and cause this?”

“What kind of other drugs?”

“I don’t know... any kind?”

“Do you know something you aren’t telling me?”

Marcus shook his head.

“Marcus... if you do know something then please...”

“Angel isn’t on drugs Doc... you know Angel... you don’t have to worry about that. Just clutching at straws.”

“There are drugs that contra indicate with the epilepsy medication and that either make it less effective or reverse the effect. However they are very specific and there is no way that Angel could accidentally have picked up any of those.”

“Oh. Okay... just wondering.”