The Cockney Canuck - 4. Chapter 4 Getting To Know Me

I woke up on top of the duvet in just a pair of boxer briefs, lifting my head to glance around an unfamiliar room. Daniel was gone; his bed unmade, and his clothes scattered around the floor. I could vaguely remember waking when he left. I glanced at the clock. It was gone ten!

'Three o'clock in the afternoon, English time'.

My body clock was in total disarray. I had been awake several times in the night. The bed was too comfortable and it was way too quiet. I was so used to the noise of London; I found it almost impossible to sleep without it.

It was Friday and Daniel had gone to school. I knew that I would be joining him after the weekend, and the butterflies returned briefly to my stomach as I contemplated the challenge. Today though, I would spend just getting used to the house and my new surroundings. It would help to take my mind off Tom.

Daniel’s room had an unusual smell to it that I couldn’t place. It wasn’t a stale smell, a body smell or a boy smell, but pleasant. Fresh like pine, but unfamiliar. Canada seemed full of unusual smells, but nothing remotely like Tom's. I missed him already; waking up next to his sweaty body, his arms wrapped around my tummy and his leaky, morning wood poking me in the back.

‘How am I going to manage without him’?

I yawned, stretched and shivered. Yesterday had been a big day and it was difficult to take it all in. I was overwhelmed by all the attention and very tired.

Growing up as an only child in a one-parent family taught me how to get by without relying on others, but I needed my own space to feel comfortable. Looking around Daniel’s room it was difficult to see how I was ever going to fit in. I knew I wouldn’t get much privacy, and although I could put up with the mess to a certain extent, it was Daniel’s room and I was his guest. I would never be able to think of it as my bedroom. Even as I unpacked my clothes and dressed, I felt as if I was intruding into his private space.

At least yesterday had gone well. I was worried about it for weeks and now it was over. In the end, there wasn’t much to be apprehensive about. Everybody had been so lovely to me and made me welcome.

‘I wish that I could be more laid back like Tom. Nothing seemed to bother him. I hope he doesn't hate me’.

I would call him later to let him know I had arrived safely, but first I needed to explore. It had been snowing on and off from the moment I landed and it was still snowing when I went to bed. I opened the blinds and stared out in amazement. Heavy clouds and snowfall had given way to bright sunshine and a clear blue sky. The snow came right up to below the window and stretched as far as I could see in every direction. It was untouched without a single footprint anywhere. I could have been looking at a postcard.

‘So this was Canada, where my mom had wanted me to live? Thanks, mom’.

I was beginning to understand how different my life was going to be. It was still hard to believe that I was three and a half thousand miles away from the place where I woke up yesterday morning, and that meant three and a half thousand miles away from Tom!

‘I wish he was here with me’.

It was apparent Don and Sue were well off. I hadn't expected them to be poor, but not wealthy either. I knew Don was a big shot in advertising and Sue was a qualified nurse so I guess money wasn’t an issue.

I had grown up on a budget. We lived in a small apartment, and like most of my inner city friends money was always tight. Don and Sue had a big house, a nice car, and a garden the size of park. They even had a swimming pool. Nobody that I knew in England had a pool or as many awesome gadgets as Daniel had scattered around his room. It was at least three times the size of Tom’s chilly bedroom and had everything that a boy could want but relatively few in the world had. All this and a loving family to boot.

With Daniel out, I took the opportunity to look around. It was clear that he had a liking for computers; a gamer. Maybe I was wrong about him being an outdoor kid. The shelves were crammed full of CDs, DVDs, games, books, headphones and control pads. On his desk was an Apple computer, printer, speakers, and an I-pod. On the wall at the end of his bed was a flat screen TV with an X-box connected to it and there was a PS3 on the floor.

‘Any money he’s got an i-phone too ’.

I picked up a couple of the offending items from the floor, a t-shirt and a pair of jeans and threw them onto his bed, it didn’t make the room look any less untidy but it made me feel a bit better.

‘I've been awake for less than ten minutes, and I’m already clearing up after him’.

Daniel seemed to be a nice kid though and we got off to a good start, which was important. I made a significant effort to be as relaxed as possible around him when I was as nervous as hell. We would have to share a room so we needed to get along, but I had my doubts.

‘What would he be like if he ever found out about me. I can’t hide forever’.

*     *     *

I found Sue in the kitchen preparing food and watching a talk show on TV.

“Hello hun."

‘She has eyes in the back of her head’.

“You must have needed to sleep, how are you feeling? Do you want something to eat? It’s a bit late for breakfast but I can make you a sandwich. You’ll probably want some tea first.”

I wanted to tell her to slow down. “Can I have a coffee instead, please? I know that it’s not very English, but I don’t really like tea. Is everybody out?”

“Well the kids are all at school and they won’t be home until just after three. Dons at work and he won't be home until late today because it’s Friday. I usually work part-time at the hospital, but I took the day off, to make sure you settle in okay. Don’t like tea, huh, and I stocked up on it as well.”

It was unnatural for anyone to be so cheerful. I wondered if she ever got angry or lost her temper.

‘She has three kids, of course, she does’.

I wasn’t a morning person. In England, most people would stay out of my way until after ten when I became approachable. The one notable exception was Tom. For him, I would smile no matter what time of day it was. Once again I found myself daydreaming about the boy who up until yesterday, had played such a big part in my life. It was now more than twenty-four hours since I last saw him.

Sue had a big smile on her face as she handed me a cup of coffee and told me I had to eat. “You need to put on some weight; you're too skinny. We’ll have to take you to Timmy's”

“Probably.” I tried smiling but I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about or who Timmy was. She was unrelenting, and I finally, gathered enough courage to lift the corners of my mouth until it formed a makeshift smile. It lasted for a couple of seconds before collapsing.

“Well I’m glad to see you smiling,” she said. “We weren’t sure how you would be when you got over here. You were very down when we left you in England. It was understandable, but we were very worried about you.”

“You needn’t have been. Tom’s family looked after me, and he made sure I was okay.”

“Yes, he's a nice boy; I know you’ve had some good times together.”

‘You can say that again’.

“I’m really going to miss him.”

“Well, you know you can remain friends. It won’t be the same, I know, but you can keep in contact, and maybe he can visit you in the summer.” I had heard it all before, and while I wanted to believe her, it just seemed too long to wait.

“I guess so,” I said, but my answer lacked conviction. “We were very close, and it hurts to think I might not be able to see him again.” Sue's expression was sober. She was looking into my eyes as if looking for an answer and I hoped I hadn’t said too much. I needed to be more careful when talking about him and not so emotional. It was easy for me to get carried away.

I asked her if it would be okay to call him later when he was at home.

“You’re welcome to use the phone, or you can use the Internet on Daniel’s computer to send emails. Daniel is going to set up that Skype thingy on his computer for you. I’m not sure how it works, but I think that you can talk all day for free.”

“Yes, Tom has it.”

“Good, see you’ll be able to talk to each other all the time. When we get a chance, we’ll buy you a computer of your own, then it won’t matter how often you speak to each other.”

“You don’t have to. I was going to buy my own.

“I think Don’s already has something sorted,” she said. “We bought Daniel a computer and we’ll get you one too, it’s not a problem.” She smiled at me and ruffled my hair.

“Will it be an Apple, like Daniel’s?” I felt a little cheeky for asking but not enough to deter me.

“I’ll have a word with Don. I don’t see why not.” At last, I smiled for real, but my happiness was short-lived. “I’ve made arrangements with the school for you to start on Monday,” she said.

“Will I be going to the same school as Daniel?”

“Yes, you’ll be going to Stephenson, the same as Daniel and Nicola. You’ll be in grade ten, so you won’t be in any of the same classes, but you’ll be able to see them at lunchtime. Daniel is in grade nine, which is the first year at high school, and Nicola is in grade eleven.”

“It’s a good school, Robbie, try not to worry, I’m sure that everything will work out fine. The principal Mr Andrews is looking forward to meeting you.”

I couldn’t understand why the principle would be looking forward to meeting me. “Will I need a uniform?”

“No honey, you wear your regular clothes, and Don will take you shopping tomorrow with Daniel. You’re going to need some winter clothing or you won’t be able to go outside and some snow boots, but we’ll take care of everything.”

“Is the school far away?"

“Too far to walk, if that’s what you mean. You’ll have to get the school bus with the others, but I’m sure you’ll get used to it”

“I’ll try,” I said, but I was worried.

“It’s probably going to be a bit different from what you were used to in England, but you need to give it a chance.”

“Everything feels a little strange, that’s all. It’s gonna take me a while to adjust, but I’ll try my best, I promise. I don’t want to let you down.”

She threw her arms around me, making me jump.

“You won’t let us down, Robbie. We know that. Your mother was a good person and I know she brought you up well. We never had any reservations about you living here. It’s important you understand this because it’s true. It was your mother who breached the subject, but we both agreed without even having to discuss it. We knew it was the right thing to do, so you don’t have to worry about letting us down.”

She hugged me tightly, just like my mom used to, but it didn’t feel right. She may have known my mom well, but to me, she was still a stranger, and I made no attempt to return the affection. She meant well, but I could have done without the hug and was relieved when she finally let go.

Sue was very emotional, but I had already promised myself there would be no more tears when I got to Canada, and I wasn’t going to break that rule on the very first day. When she tried to put her arm around me again, I moved away making it obvious I didn’t want to be touched.

“I’m sorry; I just don’t like being hugged all the time.”

“It’s okay hun. I understand it’s not a problem.” She made a tactical withdrawal and pulled up a stool to face me from across the counter. “I know you’re still hurting honey, and it will hurt for a while yet, but it won’t last forever, I promise. It doesn’t mean that you will ever forget what happened; it’s just that it won’t hurt so much.”

I nodded and wondered how she could know all this. “It’s not just my mom, it’s everything, Aunt Sue. It’s a lot for me to take in. Starting a new school and I don’t know if I even belong here. I mean in this house. It feels so strange to me.”

I stared at the counter top as I spoke but I could feel her watching me.

“You have to stop worrying. Things will take care of themselves, you’ll see. The main thing is we all want you here and it’s important for you to remember that. You may not feel that you belong here yet, but you will do, you need to give it time.”

“I feel as if I’m betraying her,” I said, but I didn’t expect her to understand.

“I get it," she said. “I’ll never try to take the place of your mother, Robbie. It would be impossible. We hope you’ll agree to the adoption, but it doesn't mean that you'll be betraying your mom. It just means that you'll have a bit more security and feel like you belong.” She put her hand over mine, unable to resist some kind of contact.

"I guess you're right."

“I know that you didn’t ask for this, and I know how much she meant to you. I can’t change what happened, no one can. It’ll take a time for us to get to know each other, but we’re not stranger’s, we’re your family, and the only family you have. We want you here, not just Don and me, but the children also. It’s not going to be easy for us either, and believe me, we’ve been just as nervous about this as you have. But we’re willing to give it a shot if you are. We want it to work.”

“I’ll try.”

“You may not remember us, but we remember you. I’ve known you since you were born and I remember you as a baby. You’ve got a big bigger since then, but I can still see that little boy in you. You still pull the same funny faces and you still have the same laugh, even though we haven’t heard it much yet. Even the way you sulk is the same. So as far as we’re concerned, you’ve always been a part of our family.” She got up and began to walk into the kitchen before turning to me. “I can see so much of your mom in you. She was a strong woman and you’re going to need some of that strength to get through, but you don’t have to do it alone, because you’re not alone. You have a family, and we care about you whether you like it or not. You never know kid; if you give us a chance you may get to like us after a while!”

It wasn’t what I was expecting; I felt terrible for not being more grateful, and a bit choked up by her speech. I was sure she was a good person and it was clear that they cared about me. I thought about what she said while she made me something to eat.

“Aunt Sue, I’m sorry for being such a wally.”

“Honey, you don’t need to be sorry, and you’re not a wally whatever that is. I hope it’s not rude.”

“No, it’s not,” I said smiling briefly. “Is it okay for me to have a shower? I feel a little dirty after travelling.”

She laughed. “Oh my dear, you are so polite. You don’t have to ask if you can use the shower. This is your home now. You have your own shower downstairs, but if you prefer a bath, there’s a tub in the upstairs bathroom. Just make sure you clean up any mess you make afterwards.”

“I will.”

“Oh, and another thing young man, you don’t need to call me Aunt Sue.”

“What should I call you then? Is Sue okay? Because I don’t think I could call you, you know… mom. Not even after the adoption.”

“I understand hun. Sue is fine with me if it’s alright with you?”

I smiled but it wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought.

*     *     *

I had showered, unpacked my suitcase and explored the house, although as Daniel said I didn’t feel the need to go upstairs. I wanted to go outside and play in the snow, but Sue wouldn’t let me and I lost the enthusiasm when I found out it was ten below. Inside it was warm enough for me to walk around in a t-shirt.

The upstairs living room was the most amazing room in the house, but nighttime didn’t do it justice. There were six big windows set into the ceiling at an angle with the roof allowing the natural light into the house. Sue explained it to me and it was neat, but I was soon bored and moved to the back wall, which was covered in photographs.

It was obviously a family thing, with what looked like a picture of Don and Sue’s wedding taking pride of place, and two or three pictures of each of the kids at various ages. There was one of Daniel sitting on a tricycle and another on what looked like his first day at school high school, just a few months back. There was a similar one of Nicola, and a more recent one taken during the summer, with the swimming pool in the background. I was more interested in the pool than Nicola posing in front, and I was able to get an idea of what it would be like in the summer. Where she was standing was now covered with snow. I took my time studying each photograph as Sue watched, and came over to stand next to me.

“This is my family wall,” she said, but I could sense she wasn't comfortable. “Of course I’ll need to get some photographs of you up there pretty soon.”

“No, I don’t want my picture up there.”

“Why?”

“No reason. I just don’t.”

“Robbie. The only reason why there isn’t a photograph of you up there already is that I don’t have any, other than the ones of you as a baby.”

I cringed. “It doesn't matter to me. It’s not important.”

“It is to me, Robbie. I have photographs of all my children on that wall.”

“But I’m not one of them. I don’t belong up there. We’re family but you’re not my mom and Don isn’t my dad. I already have a mom.” I lowered my voice. “She might not be here anymore, but she’s still my mom.”

I hadn't meant to raise my voice. I still had a lot of anger inside and it often came out as bitterness and resentment. A lot had happened, but still, barely a month had passed since the funeral. She was trying to make me feel like I belonged and maybe one day I would, but it seemed a long way off.

“I’m sorry for shouting. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“It’s okay honey.” She patted me on the head. “I understand how you feel. I would like to have a picture of you up there, but it can wait until the time is right. Now how about a cup of tea?”

“I don’t drink tea, remember?”

*     *     *

I was watching TV in the ground floor living room the front door opened and in walked what looked like a miniature snowman.

“Hey, Robbie,” said the snowman in a muffled voice from under a scarf. Then it waved vigorously at me as I laughed.

“Who is it under there?”

“AMY!” she yelled as she peeled off an outer layer of clothing. I had to hand it to these Canadians, they knew how to keep warm, even the little ones. All of these items, of course, were left in a pile on the floor as she came running over and jumped on my lap, damaging my chances of ever fathering a child. She gave me a hug and sat down next to me, while I masked my discomfort. I was warming to this kid. She was so over the top with everything she did, but in a natural way which made me laugh.

“I told all my friends about you,” she said.

“That’s good. What did you tell them?”

“That you’re my new brother from England, and you’re really cool.”

“Thank you.” I was grateful although I wasn't sure what gave her that impression.

“There’s Daniel and Nicola’s bus,” said Amy and she pointed towards the front window where a yellow school bus had stopped opposite. Moments later, the relatively peaceful house was loud and chaotic as they walked in bickering, and Sue yelled at Amy to pick up the clothes she had dropped on the floor.

“Hi Robbie," said Nicola interrupting her argument to wave at me as she walked upstairs. "Welcome to the Taylor family.”

Daniel came over to take Amy's place next to me on the couch. “She can be a bitch sometimes."

I had already decided to stay well away from any arguments with my cousins who I believed I would have to win over if I was going to be able to fit in with this new family. They could make life very difficult for me if they wanted and I couldn’t afford to have them as enemies.

I wasn’t doing badly; I already had the youngest firmly on my side. Amy confirmed my this by running at me again, only this time I managed to shield my groin before she landed in my lap.

Daniel wasn’t happy with his little sister but I allowed her to stay while he explained what I needed to buy for school. He wasn’t talking loudly but Nicola was able to hear us from upstairs and leaned over the balcony to give me instructions.

“Don’t listen to him, I’ll tell you what you need to buy.” Her interruption was a quick and valuable lesson about living in an open plan house. She pushed Daniel out of the way to take his place next to me. Nicola was a lot more forceful than she appeared the night before and Daniel wisely backed off and left her to it.

I got the feeling that Nicola was one of the popular kids in school. She had a very definite opinion on what was acceptable for a kid to wear in school, which seemed to revolve mostly around expensive designer labels. They did little for me, and I was sure they wouldn’t appeal to Don’s pocket either.

*     *     *

I shut the bedroom door, dropped my briefs to study my todger in the mirror. It was looking a lot better now and I was relieved to see the teeth marks had disappeared. By the time Daniel walked in, I was already dressed for bed in a pair of pyjama bottoms and a plain white t-shirt, and I was sitting on the bed reading a shopping list Daniel had printed for me. I found it on my bed titled. 'Don't listen to Nicola, this is what you really need to buy'. I was learning how things worked, but if I bought everything on that list I would be doubling my entire wardrobe.

“I can’t expect your dad to buy me all this stuff. I won’t even need half of this gear.”

“Sure you will,” he said, “he can afford it, he makes that in less than an hour.”

I wasn’t sure how much that was, but I still didn’t want him to think I was taking advantage of him.

“They are going to give us the same,” he said. “Because we’re nearly the same age so we’ll get the same allowance, clothes, and birthday presents. Don’t be scared of asking for stuff. You don’t want to know what they spend on Nicola.”

He was right I didn’t want to know, but I could have a pretty good guess.

“It’s none of my business what they spend on her. She’s their daughter.”

Daniel had started to undress, but he stopped when he heard this and turned to face me. “They want to adopt you, I guess you know that right?"

“Yes.”

“Then you will have the same rights as we do. They will be your parents too, and I’m going to be your brother. Are you cool with that?”

“I suppose.”

“I was kinda hoping for a bit more enthusiasm,” he laughed. “But the point is, don’t be afraid to ask. If they don’t want you to have something or they can’t afford it, then the worst they will do is say no. They’re not going to send you back to England.”

What he said made sense and it seemed like he was getting more relaxed around me, which was good. He wasn’t as shy as I first thought, and much to my surprise, he didn’t seem at all shy about changing in front of me as he casually stripped down to his boxers and paraded around the room in them before going upstairs to look for his phone. I could hear him talking briefly to Nicola before coming back downstairs. I was already in my bed and watched him as he closed the blinds and walked around the room looking for his charger. He had a nice body and it was difficult not to look. He may have been my future brother but my dick always seemed to have its own agenda. At last, the lights went out and I heard him he jump into bed with a quick goodnight.

“Goodnight Tom…I mean Daniel.” He was laughing, but my thoughts had already switched to Tom. I had made it through the first day, but I hadn't been able to stop thinking about him for more than five minutes at a time. It was going to be a lot more difficult than I thought to move on.

My arousal had got me thinking. Daniel was fourteen and like every other teenage boy on the planet, he was surely whacking off at every opportunity. With me moving into his room, it wasn’t going to be so easy for him anymore and it must have pissed him off. Before I arrived, he had the entire basement to himself at night, now he had hardly any privacy at all.

‘What’s up with me? Why am I feeling guilty? If he needs to rub one out he can use the shower. That’s what I’m gonna do in the morning’.

*     *     *

I was true to my word and Tom was once more relegated to the world of teenage fantasy as I bashed the bishop under the hot shower the next morning. I felt a lot better for it and I was starting to think that I may have to do this on a fairly regular basis if I was gonna be able to share a room with a boy who seemed to spend most of his time wearing just a pair of shorts. Don was also true to his word as he took Daniel and me to the Mall for a shopping spree. It was the first time that I had been away from the house since I arrived and my first real look at Canada. The Northumberland Mall in Cobourg, may not have been the best place to start, but it sold what I needed, and it was all indoors so it was good enough.

I was all kitted out and ready for what was left of the Canadian winter as well as plenty of casual clothes. I offered to pay out of the money that I had in my account but Don refused. Then when we got home, he casually counted out sixty dollars from his wallet and gave half to me and a half to Daniel.

“Allowance, ” he said. “Every Saturday as long as you keep up with your schoolwork during the term and any chores that we may need you to do around the house.”

“Okay,” I said. “I don’t mind helping out.” It made me feel a bit better about taking money from him, but Daniel just groaned when his dad mentioned the word chores.

“Oh Dad, is it okay if a couple of friends came over this afternoon?”

“As long as it doesn’t disturb anyone,” said Don and I think he was referring to me. “What friends are you talking about?”

“Doug and Billy. We wanted to talk about the game next week.”

“Well, maybe you can introduce them to Robbie as well,” said Don, before turning to me. “They're good kids and I’m sure Daniel wouldn’t mind you hanging out with them.”

Daniel was cool with it but I decided to keep out of the way. I really didn’t feel like meeting anyone new.

Instead, I spent the afternoon in Daniel’s room excitedly trying on all the clothes I bought in every combination. I used the mirror on the door to pose seductively for myself in various states of undress.

‘I am so gay. One day they will find out that I’m not quite the person they think I am’.

I had no idea how they would react so I needed to be careful and see if I could pick up a few clues that would tell me if it was ever going to be possible to come out to this family. At that moment, I was thinking no.

Upstairs I could hear the sound of teenage voices; probably Daniel’s friends. I stayed in the room but after a while, Daniel came downstairs.

“My friends are here and they want to meet you, is it okay if they came in?”

“It’s your room, you don’t have to ask my permission.”

“Yes I do. It’s only right to do that. If you have friends over, then I would expect the same from you.”

He was right. “Not that I have any friends.”

He smiled. “You’ve only been living here like for two days dude, and you’ve hardly ventured out of the house. I don’t think that you're gonna have too many problems making friends,” he said. “Anyway like dad said you can hang out with us if you want. We’re almost the same age.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Well they really want to meet you, so I’ll tell them to come down.”

“Alright.”

I was sitting on my bed trying to look casual when they walked in.

“Hey dude,” said the tall one, his name was Doug and he had the body of a sportsman. He bumped fists with me and gave me a big smile. Close on his heels was his friend Billy who was skinnier than Doug and not as tall. Daniel introduced everyone before the conversation went in the usual direction.

“So you’re going to be living over here for good, eh,” said Billy.

“Looks that way,” I said trying not to sound enthusiastic.

“He’ll be starting at Stephenson on Monday,” said Daniel.

“Wow that’s quick, I thought that you would have had a holiday first,” said Doug.

“My uncle thought that I should start right away.”

“You mean Don, right?” said Billy. “He’s your uncle?”

“Yes.”

“Daniel told us that his parents are going to adopt you?”

“That’s right. It’s going to be soon I think.”

“So dude,” said Doug turning to Daniel. “You’re going to have a brother to compete with.”

“We won’t need to compete against each other,” said Daniel.

“Tell me that in a year from now,” said Doug. “I have a brother who’s only about a year older than me and we fight all the time man. I mean we don’t hate each other, but we still fight.”

It was a fair observation. Most brothers I knew in England would fight, but somehow I didn’t think this was going to be the case with Daniel and me. Whatever differences we had I was always going to feel like I was living in his house.

The conversation soon turned to England. Where did I live? Was it really always raining? Did I like soccer? Did I have a girlfriend?

'Why does everyone ask me that'?

“I can introduce you to a few girls if you want?” said Doug. “They’ll love your accent.”

“How about screaming Lisa?” said Billy.

“Yeah,” Doug agreed. “If you wanna get laid than I can fix you up with Screaming Lisa.” He leaned forward to me in his chair and lowered his voice “She’ll do anything you want man.” Everyone seemed amused by his comments, but I wasn’t sure why I was laughing. The thought of Doug fixing me up with some old slapper was hardly an aphrodisiac. Actually, I couldn’t think of anything more unappealing. Although I wasn’t convinced he was being completely truthful.

“Or if you prefer a little man on man action then we could always get you a date with Nathan,” said Billy to more laughter.

“Come on guys,” said Daniel. “Give Nathan a break; he’s not a bad guy.”

“Just a bit queer,” said Doug.

I was all ears.

'Who's Nathan'?

“Really?” I said. “Or are you just having a laugh?”

“No, he’s gay,” said Daniel. “He came out to us last year. He's my best friend; I’ve known him since Kindergarten. Don’t listen to these morons he’s actually a really nice guy.”

“Just don’t turn your back on him,” said Doug and Daniel rolled his eyes.

I wanted to find out more about this kid without looking too interested, so I searched for a question before someone changed the subject. “Doesn’t he get bullied at school?”

“It wasn’t easy for him, but Nathan has a lot of friends and a lot of people like him. It’s no longer big news, but some kids still make fun of him.”

“You’re still friends though?”

“Sure, but not as close as we were. I mean it's difficult right. When he visits things are awkward between us. I didn’t just drop him out though. I still invited him everywhere but half the time he never showed up.” There was more badgering from Doug and Billy.

“But lover boy here still went for sleepovers at Nathan’s house didn’t you?” said Doug. “Just the two of them.”

Daniel blushed and smiled. “Come on you guys get real. I always used to stay over at his place before that and he stayed here too. I wasn’t going to drop him, as a friend just because I found out he was queer. He told me that he would never hit on me, so we were cool."

“Robbie you do realise that’s Nathan’s bed that you're sleeping in,” said Doug.

Daniel was quick to explain. “He’s slept in it maybe four or five times but he’s the only other person to use it, I swear.”

I shrugged my shoulders to let him know I wasn’t bothered.

“You’re a better person than I am,” said Billy to Daniel. “If a guy tells me that he’s turned queer, I’m outta there. I mean it, man. No way am I hanging around to be his eye candy.” Billy wasn’t dead ugly but eye candy wasn’t an expression I think most people would have used to describe him. This was more like what I had expected to hear and it got a nod and mumbling of approval from Doug, but Daniel wasn’t happy.

“Nathan didn’t just turn gay, Billy. He’s always been that way, even when I used to stay over. He was gay then as well. It wasn’t something he caught from a toilet seat. He never once made a move on me. What makes you think that he would even want to?”

“Whoa there Daniel,” said Doug. “Take it easy man, we were only teasing you. I would class Nathan as a friend of mine.”

I doubted that was true, but I was full of admiration for Daniel and wanted to hug him, in a kind of brotherly way. He was a quiet kid, but clearly, if something needed to be said, he would say it and he was smart enough to make his point. I knew that most kids would never take the side of a gay boy and defend his sexuality to his straight friends, especially if he wasn’t there. That would be asking for trouble. Where I came from, it would have been as good as admitting you were gay yourself, and fast tracked you to victim status. He could have just let it go and said nothing. It would have been a lot easier for him. I hoped this Nathan kid realised what a good friend he had in Daniel.

It was still nice meeting Doug and Billy and other than our views on gay people, we did actually get on okay. Afterwards the PS3 was set up in the family room and we all played a few games against each other but mostly we talked and joked around. As expected, I was the brunt a few English jokes, but it was cool. I used to have loads of jokes up my sleeve, but it seemed like such a long time since I made anyone laugh.

‘Maybe soon I would be more like the person I used to be’.

Between the three of them, they had pretty much given me the run down on Stephenson School. From what I would have to do on my first day, kids to avoid and where to go for lunch, to a list of the hottest girls in my year. It made me feel a lot better about Monday, although I would probably still be nervous. I was glad I met Daniel’s friends who I would be able to hang out with at school until I made my own. I was also able to learn a little more about Daniel. I knew that he definitely wasn't homophobic. He even had a gay friend who he was prepared to stand up for. This was all good news for me.

‘Who knows, I might get a chance to meet this Nathan kid? Sorry Tom, I still love you forever”.