Street Words - 1. Chapter 1 Seventeen

Shit, Mikie, this was heartbreaking.

I hope it's not your true story, although I know unfortunately, it happens a lot.

On 09/14/2015 05:18 AM, Lisa said:

Shit, Mikie, this was heartbreaking.

 

I hope it's not your true story, although I know unfortunately, it happens a lot.

Hi Lisa.

Thanks for reading. It is my story. It's been kinda stuck inside me for what (terrible at math) 14 years.

On 09/14/2015 06:56 AM, Reader1810 said:

That short piece being autobiographical magnifies the poignancy of the events.

It was horrifyingly sad but at the same time, very powerful.

Well done!

Thank you Reader1810. I wrote a lot during this time in my life. It helped. Appreciate you taking the time.

I just want to you after reading this. This is a really heartbreaking and wonderful (if that's the right word for this) poem.

Thank you for sharing this Mikie

On 09/14/2015 08:09 AM, Drew Espinosa said:

I just want to you after reading this. This is a really heartbreaking and wonderful (if that's the right word for this) poem.

 

Thank you for sharing this Mikie

Aw Drew, you're a sweetheart. Thanks love hugs. I've carried this stuff with me for a long time. I need to let it go. I'll be sharing more and it does get better. Thanks for reading Drew. tim

On the surface there's a kind of triumph... underneath, heart-wrenching sadness... Gary...

On 09/14/2015 03:29 PM, Headstall said:

On the surface there's a kind of triumph... underneath, heart-wrenching sadness... Gary...

Hi Gary, thanks for the review. I appreciate your time. What street kids do is sad, no one should ever have to live that way, but they do everyday.

This one is not an easy one for me to review...I would have done so last night (when I first read it), but it seemed too powerful, but here I am, back to try

The position of the two authority figures in the poem is immediate to me - there's the 'bad' father, and then there the 'good' Jeff. Neither are truly 'blamed' by the poet, so it's the poet who comes across as heroic. That may seem like a small feature, but please don't under estimate it, because it is a brilliant feature.

Structure-wise, the way you have clipped ideas ending many of the lines, like "no longer his son," "shared his bed," "I am only seventeen" is very effective. It's heart wrenching.

I hope you will post more of these poems. I want to read them because they are good, and they are important.

On 09/15/2015 12:00 PM, AC Benus said:

This one is not an easy one for me to review...I would have done so last night (when I first read it), but it seemed too powerful, but here I am, back to try

 

The position of the two authority figures in the poem is immediate to me - there's the 'bad' father, and then there the 'good' Jeff. Neither are truly 'blamed' by the poet, so it's the poet who comes across as heroic. That may seem like a small feature, but please don't under estimate it, because it is a brilliant feature.

 

Structure-wise, the way you have clipped ideas ending many of the lines, like "no longer his son," "shared his bed," "I am only seventeen" is very effective. It's heart wrenching.

 

I hope you will post more of these poems. I want to read them because they are good, and they are important.

Wow. I'd don't know what to say. They just came out that way. I never rewrote any of them. Thank you. It means a lot that you all even read them. I have more. I wrote them over 5 years. I'll post more of them .. but not all 5 years worth. Thanks again for all that you've said.

tim

The reader, unable to help, is compelled to witness the author's decent from the shock of rejection, into the darkness of fear, and aloneness, mastering unthinkable skills to survive.
Monk

On 09/16/2015 05:43 PM, WanderingMonk said:

The reader, unable to help, is compelled to witness the author's decent from the shock of rejection, into the darkness of fear, and aloneness, mastering unthinkable skills to survive.

Monk

Thanks for reading and for your comments. You know without you I'd never have posted a word. Thank you.

tim

I Loved the way how You put is simple and neat... Is this Jeff is your Boyfriend or Something??? or An Inspiration???

On 09/17/2015 10:47 PM, Emi GS said:

I Loved the way how You put is simple and neat... Is this Jeff is your Boyfriend or Something??? or An Inspiration???

Not sure how to explain Jeff to you. I'll pm you about him. Maybe not the place to tell you.

tim

I have been reading these in reverse order of your posting so I read and reviewed Escape before this.

This is heartbreaking. You survived and there is victory in that but damn him, damn him, that was inhuman.

On 09/18/2015 08:47 AM, dughlas said:

I have been reading these in reverse order of your posting so I read and reviewed Escape before this.

 

This is heartbreaking. You survived and there is victory in that but damn him, damn him, that was inhuman.

Ah yes my father. He assaulted me recently and is jail. Trial coming soon. He can rot there. Thank you for your support and for your time dughlas. It is greatly appreciated.

tim

I tried to do my research when I was writing The Navigator. I read story after story of homeless youth, especially homeless LGBT youth so I could try and play Silas Drake's personality properly. It's amazing how, when life seems to do its best at reducing you to nothing, you find this sense of pride in your trials.

I'm particularly drawn to those last three lines:
"Showed me how a rent boy behaved
I honed those skills. I am only seventeen.
But I am a master."

When life puts you in such a position, you have to become stronger than you ever were before. I appreciate what you were forced to go through, Tim, and that you became a master at how to survive.

I'm glad you're free of the life, and I'm sure the strength to endure has stayed with you.

On 09/19/2015 04:36 PM, Cynus said:

I tried to do my research when I was writing The Navigator. I read story after story of homeless youth, especially homeless LGBT youth so I could try and play Silas Drake's personality properly. It's amazing how, when life seems to do its best at reducing you to nothing, you find this sense of pride in your trials.

 

I'm particularly drawn to those last three lines:

"Showed me how a rent boy behaved

I honed those skills. I am only seventeen.

But I am a master."

 

When life puts you in such a position, you have to become stronger than you ever were before. I appreciate what you were forced to go through, Tim, and that you became a master at how to survive.

 

I'm glad you're free of the life, and I'm sure the strength to endure has stayed with you.

Thank you, Cynus. I'm not sure when I said, I am a master, I took pride in it. More, that there was no choice but to be, and rather, it was sad to be such a thing, at that age. I appreciate your thoughts and your time.

On 18/09/2015 at 4:01 AM, Mikiesboy said:

Not sure how to explain Jeff to you. I'll pm you about him. Maybe not the place to tell you.

 

tim

I hadn't know the real meaning of this poem before. After I have read your pieces if life, I don't know, my comment seemed inappropriate. And I hope you'll forgive my 'not completely understand ed behaviour'. A really heart wrenching poem with full of emotions and even the pride. And I can understand, you are only seventeen. 

And I am still waiting for your PM. I wanted to to know what he is to you!?

And remember that we all love you no matter what your past is...

~Emi. 

15 minutes ago, Emi GS said:

 

I hadn't know the real meaning of this poem before. After I have read your pieces if life, I don't know, my comment seemed inappropriate. And I hope you'll forgive my 'not completely understand ed behaviour'. A really heart wrenching poem with full of emotions and even the pride. And I can understand, you are only seventeen. 

 

And I am still waiting for your PM. I wanted to to know what he is to you!?

 

And remember that we all love you no matter what your past is...

 

~Emi. 

Thanks Emi .. pm sent 

It was sad and heart breaking...

It's auto biographical, that's what makes it horrifying...

I didn't want to like it (since it is so heart breaking)  but I didn't know how else to say it's 'nicely written'....

I 'll just tell u one thing...Tim you are really strong!!

3 hours ago, Aviana said:

It was sad and heart breaking...

It's auto biographical, that's what makes it horrifying...

I didn't want to like it (since it is so heart breaking)  but I didn't know how else to say it's 'nicely written'....

I 'll just tell u one thing...Tim you are really strong!!

Thanks for you comments Aviana.. i do appreciate them!  It was a hard time..life out there.it was.