Dessert - 1. Dessert

Dessert

Bubbles rose through the amber ale, and gathered in the remaining foam at the top of the glass. I grasped it, and its curves nestled in my hand like a lover.

Ah, geez that’s shit – like I can write.

Maybe I can’t write, but I can and do feel sorry for myself, and my lack of a social life. Okay David, let’s be honest, lack of any kind of life.

I sipped the now-warm brew, and forced it down with a grimace. Replacing the glass onto the sticky tabletop, I glanced up at the bar – maybe 10 feet away. My gaze swept across the backs of the patrons that stood there; I was looking for some afternoon delight, with any luck, but alas it didn’t seem likely. But, there was something – well someone – that drew my eyes back.

I looked again searching more carefully this time – there, the one in the black leather jacket. So familiar, but I knew it couldn’t be him, just couldn’t be, but I so hoped it was, but at the same time, hoped it was not. There was something in how he stood there, slumped a little to the right, hips just a little uneven. I knew that back, those legs and shoulders.

Sure, I could walk up there, spin him around and see, but how would he react; would he remember me? Of course he’d remember, you ass. I’d left him in the hospital, left him in pain, alone and scared. I dumped him after he’d been beaten and cut up so badly I couldn’t bear to look at him. No, not bear to, just couldn’t be bothered to; I hadn’t cared enough.

Rob had been on his way to see me, to spend the night. Back then beating gays was a popular thing to do. This night a group of vicious bastards snatched him off the street, beat him and then to make sure he’d not forget he was a freak, they sliced his face with something, the doctors thought perhaps a pull tab from a can of beer. The hospital called me and I said I’d come. I did, after I finished entertaining for the evening and my guests had gone home.

I’d walked into his room and there he was, covered in bandages, attached to beeping machines. I remember being relieved that he was asleep. I never spoke to him, never touched him. My only thought was, I wasn’t going to deal with it and wasn’t it a shame about his beautiful face. And that I, the great actor and sex symbol, couldn’t be seen with someone like that.

No sir not me - shallower than a kid’s plastic swimming pool.

Time and hard work changed me somewhat. I’d learned lessons in humility the hard way, and after a few years of looking at what a supercilious prick I was, things began to change. Looks mattered less I told myself now. It was what was inside that mattered. Still, a pretty face was a temptation.

‘Black leather’ had turned to lean on the bar on his left arm. Oh, it had to be him, the straight sexy nose, strong chin, that wavy dark hair I used to grab hold of while we ... I was going to say ‘made love’. But I never made love to him, if I’m being honest. I just screwed him. That’s what he was to me then, a pretty toy, something that looked good on my arm.

As I thought about being in bed with him, I felt my dick stir; I had to shift to get comfortable again. He’d been a willing and imaginative lover. It just never mattered to me. I never thought about him enough to wonder why he tried to please me so.

I’m not sure why he did, but he slowly turned his head and his eyes scanned over the tables and passed me, but I felt his gaze return. Those sky-blue eyes, meeting my brown ones, his lips twitched in recognition. I was suddenly cold and nauseous, and wondered if I should just get up and leave.

I watched him order another drink, and pay for it; he walked over and stood before me. The plastic surgery he’d had helped, but I could still see the scars under his dark trimmed beard. “Rob … you look good.”

He sipped his drink and motioned to the empty chair. “Can I sit?”

“Sure.”

Damn, he was still in good shape, no belly, slim like a runner, moved like a cat. I could see his abs under his tight t-shirt. “You look good.”

Rob smiled. “You’ve said, thanks. Looks seem to count a lot with some people.”

The knife of guilt I’d carried since I’d dumped him, twisted in my gut. “Rob … I … things were ....”

“You left me alone, you fucker.” He spoke softly, but the words were like daggers. He took a mouthful of his drink. “I fucking loved you, and you left me there alone, in pain without a second thought.”

“I wasn’t a good person then, Rob. I’m very sorry. I was shallow, only thought about myself.”

“David …” he leaned toward me, speaking softly. “Shallow isn’t the word for you. I woke up thinking the guy I loved would be there to help me, to hold my hand, share his strength. What an ass I was. You ran when you saw the mess they made of my face.”

His eyes betrayed an anger, maybe even a hatred, that his voice didn’t. In some ways that made it worse, but he was right of course. I’d left him the night he’d regained consciousness. I’d thought a lot of myself for waiting that long. I’d been man enough to tell him in person – as if that were enough.

“Rob, that was six years ago. I am sorry, really sorry. I’m not proud of what I was back then or what I did to you.”

He leaned back and looked at me. I felt uncomfortable and wished I was elsewhere. “So David, you still acting?”

Oh here it comes, he already knows. “No. I gave it up. I finally learned I’m not talented enough.” Wow, did I say that out loud?

Rob simply smirked. “No? Then what are you doing?”

“I took up cinematography. It’s a good living and I enjoy it. Still on movie sets all the time, meet lots of good people.” It felt good to tell him the truth. “What about you?”

“Waiter. I like it, like all the people.”

“You were always good with people, Rob. Better than I was. But then you were never as full of yourself as I was.”

The soft lips I used to kiss, smiled just a little. “You with anyone? Married, now that we’re allowed to?”

“No, not married, not dating anyone right now.” Hope fluttered in my heart. “How about you? You’ve probably been snapped up by some smart guy.”

His chuckle was music to my ears. “No, not yet. I’ve dated some but there’s been no one special.”

No! I couldn’t believe he was single. Did I dare? “That’s a surprise.”

“Is it?” He swallowed the last of his drink and stood up. Those magic blue eyes sparkled. “Well, can’t say it’s been a pleasure. I always thought I’d punch you if I ever saw you again. But there you go.”

“You going?”

“Yeah. Been a long day.” He zipped up his leather jacket. I couldn’t help but look at his crotch. I mean it was right there, at my eye level. He caught me and I felt like a pervert.

“Still wearing button ups, huh?” I wanted to reach out and undo those buttons. Slowly. One-at-a-time. I knew what lay beneath those sexy denims.

A grin played on his lips. “Least you have to buy me dinner.”

What? What did he say? Dinner. I’ll buy him anything if he means it.

I stood up and stammered like I was auditioning for The King’s Speech. “Su, su sure. Whenever you want.”

“Now?”

“Shit yeah, sure. You still into Chinese?” I put on my jacket. “I know a great place you’ll like.”

Rob looked at me and smiled. It was beautiful. “Sounds good. I’m hungry.”

I wondered how I could have been such an asshole to him.

The sky was clearing but the sidewalks glistened with recent rain, air scented with petrichor and lilac. We walked along, talking. He seemed to warm to me a little. Rob slipped his arm through mine; I pulled him close. “I know you can’t forgive me, Rob. But I have changed, I’m only sorry it’s so late in the day.”

We sat in the restaurant and I ordered wine. After pouring and sipping the terrific dry white, I asked him about the elephant in the room. “So, I have to ask. Why are you here? I mean I was a total shit to you.”

Rob stared at the wine in his glass. “I’m curious. I loved you in spite of how you were. I thought there was more to you. But you never let it show. I suppose I should have given up, but I’m stubborn I guess.”

I reached across the table and stroked his cheek, then dropped my hand to take his. I squeezed gently. Rob squeezed back but then pulled away. As deserved as it was, it hurt.

After eating, we left the restaurant and we stood awkwardly on the street. Rob shoved his hands in his pockets and said, “Thanks for dinner, David.”

“You’re welcome and thank you. Do you want a cab? I don’t have my car with me, or I’d give you a ride.” Fuck, I sounded like a babbling idiot.

Rob looked at me. His voice was soft: “Are we done? I thought dessert’s at yours.”

I couldn’t believe he wanted to be with me. I promised him silently, this time it would be different. “Y y yes, s s sure. I’ll grab us a cab.”

We settled on the couch at my place. I offered him a drink, but he declined. I turned to him, touched his face, held his chin and kissed him softly, my lips hungry for his. We kissed like teenagers necking, our lips and tongues searching; I felt his breath on my face. My eyes watered, oh, he still smelled like him.

I pulled him close, held him, and mumbled that I wanted him. Then, still kissing him, I ran my hands over the muscular back, caressed his thighs. I groaned as he pressed my hand against his erection, teasing me, his hips rocking against my hand. God, I wanted him. His lips soft on mine, he sucked my tongue like it was my dick, until I thought I was going to explode. Finally we separated for a minute. Rob smiled and ran a finger over the bulge in my jeans. “Take me upstairs, David.”

I kissed him quickly. “You sure? Rob, I want this to be right.”

“No, I don’t want to wait. I just wanna be with you.”

So, I took him to my bedroom. I sat on the bed, and pulled him in front of me. I ran my hands over his chest and belly. I pulled on the waist of his jeans and rubbed his package through the thick material. He groaned and squeezed my shoulders. I unbuttoned his jeans, slowly, one button at-a-time exposing the warm soft skin, the hardness of him, enjoying his gasps as I touched and kissed the sensitive skin. Slowly I pushed the denims down, releasing his hard throbbing cock.

Then standing to kiss him, I peeled off his t-shirt, enjoying his impatience and his muscular body. I rained kisses on his lips, his chest; licked and sucked sensitive nipples, his moans of pleasure driving me on. I kissed my way down his body, and knelt in front of him. I reached up with my left hand and gently dragged my nails over his nipples as I kissed and sucked his hard cock. My other hand caressed and rolled his balls, and I bent further and sucked them, pulled them into my mouth and rolled them and tugged his sack. I glanced up, his head was thrown back and he moaned softly. His hands were in my hair holding me there while I continued to tease and taste him.

I took his hard cock into my mouth. He wobbled slightly but regained his balance as I licked the hard shaft, then moved to his belly and nibbled his tender inner thighs. He writhed as I enjoyed my work, making him wait, making him beg. Finally he groaned and told me he was close, and I took his cock deep and drank all he gave me. I continued to gently suck his softening cock, enjoying his groans and jerks as I hit sensitive spots.

I pushed him down onto the bed and then crawled up his hot body; until I kissed his lips, the taste of his cum still on mine; “You taste so good, baby.” He groaned and sucked my lips hungrily. We kissed for a while until he was ready again, his dick thickening.

I was beyond hard – I needed to fuck him. I kissed him. “Robbie, I wanna be inside you.” He nodded and pushed my hand down his body and pulled up his knees. Ah jeez, even after all this time he was still mine.

I pulled open the nightstand drawer and pulled out lube and a condom. Rob reached for the condom and opened it. I bent to kiss him. Rob rolled the condom over my hard cock, grinning as he did. Kissing him again, I said, “Stay on your back, baby.” I knelt between his legs and coated my hard dick with lube. He pulled his knees forward and I poured some KY over his ass. I massaged his perfect butt, pushed two fingers into him and he groaned and pulled at me trying to hurry me. I continued to finger him and when he was open and ready, I mounted him, sliding my now thick, hard, throbbing cock into him slowly, letting his body adjust. We both groaned enjoying the pain and pleasure of it.

Slowly, I pushed myself into him. My cock finally in so deeply my balls rested on his butt. I felt him beneath me as I held his legs and he moved back against me. Being inside him felt hot, tight and so smooth, I could barely control myself as I thrust into him, listened to his groans, him begging me to fuck him harder. He played with my nipples as I rode him, reached for my ass and balls as we fucked. I gave him more, harder, gave him what he’d asked me for, until we both found release, both of us climaxing hard, his cum coating us both.

I lay on him afterward, whispering in his ear, telling him he was mine, that he was perfect, that I wanted him. I kept him under me, kissing him, teasing ears, nipples and neck until we were both hard and ready again. We explored, and kissed each other through the early hours of the night.

They were the best hours of my life.

Then, afterwards I held him close, his strong, sweat-sheened body pressed to mine. Years before, I would have left him alone, not interested in the afterglow, in caressing him, callously I’d get up and let him go to sleep alone while I showered his sweat and cum off me, but now, I wanted to hold him. He snuggled close and then I felt his warm tears on my shoulder. I turned to look at him.

His eyes filled with long remembered pain and memories that I should have helped him with years before. “They hurt me, David...”

Sobs shook him and I held him close. “I know. I’m sorry Robbie. I’m so sorry.” I held him as he cried himself to sleep.

<><><>

The smell of coffee and buttered toast filtered into my brain, but it was Rob’s kisses on my neck that roused me in more ways than one. I turned over and pulled him on top of me. We kissed, our desire for each other growing again. He groaned and rocked his hips against me. I pulled him tight to me, both of us kissing and grinding against each other. I was hard for him again.

Never stop wanting me, Rob. Please.

“Mmmm, morning. You’re up early,” I said into his warm neck.

“Want some coffee?”

I kissed him again, enjoying his obvious pleasure. I could feel his hardness against my thigh. He asked me if I wanted him. I assured him I did, but I had other things in mind. “There’s time for that later. I thought we could shower, maybe go for a drive and just spend the day together.”

He sat up, and smiled. “I’d like that.”

“Good, let’s jump in the shower.”

Then, we drove along the Ocean Park Highway, and after a somewhat late lunch on the pier, we walked along the beach together enjoying the gentle waves, the cool salt breezes and the gulls soaring above us. I sat on a large smooth weathered log and pulled Rob down beside me. I held his face in my hands as I kissed him. He moaned and leaned into me, wanting and ready for more.

I let him go and he turned to watch the horizon. Unable to stop myself, I looked at his profile, classic and familiar. I was scared, but I had to say it. “I love you, Rob.”

He stared ahead, but the muscles in his jaw clenched.

“I know I’m six years too late. I know I hurt you, abandoned you when you needed me most. But I’ve never stopped thinking about you. I’ve wished for a second chance. I don’t deserve it, I know.”

I paused for a bit. Rob didn’t move, just stared ahead. I took his hand, he didn’t pull away but he didn’t react either.

“Rob, please give me a second chance. I love you. I know that now, I always did.”

He picked up a handful of sand and we both watched it run through his fingers. A sigh escaped his lips and his shoulders sagged. I put my arm around him and he laid his head against me. “I love you too, David. I’ve never stopped. But being with you, even before – that night – we were never really together were we? You just wanted a pretty plaything, and you dumped me when you knew I wouldn’t be pretty anymore. What’s gonna stop you from doing the same thing?”

A shard of fear sliced through my heart. Fear that maybe this would be the last time I’d see him, or touch him. “Please, Rob. I have changed. Give me a chance to prove it to you.”

He didn’t move, just sat next to me. “This is what I want, Rob. Us together always, till the end.” I had to make him understand. “What’s that saying? I read it somewhere … grow old along with me?”

“The best is yet to be ...” He put his hand on my thigh. “… It’s Browning.”

I stood up and pulled him up next to me. I had to make him see. “There’s been no one else since I left you. I tried, believe me, but just couldn’t. I knew it was you, only you, Robbie. So I got help, wanted to be a better person. So I got my head outta my ass and took a close look and changed.”

Those gorgeous blue, intelligent eyes searched mine then, like he was looking for my lies of old. “I know.”

“Then? Please. You want me to beg?” I wiped away the hot tears that had started. “To get on my knees?”

He laughed then. “Well, maybe later. But right now ... ” He put his arms around me and gently bit my ear lobe. “I want some more dessert.”

I kissed him then.

And I haven’t stopped.