Chapter 25

Knowing Ashton was heading into a viper pit later this evening at Lord Huxton's estate left my stomach in knots. I barely ate anything after bathing before I headed in search of the viscount. He wasn't in his study or anywhere else I had expected to find him downstairs. I wondered if he might still be sleeping, since he would be expecting a long night. So I headed back to the second floor, chancing a peek in doors that were partially open. I found another guest room, smaller than mine that a maid was straightening. A familiar mint and citrus scent wafted from the room, reminding me of Ashton. This room, however, seemed too small and unadorned to be the viscount's.

Further down, an open door had voices drifting out—Liam and Count Rowland. The closed door across from the count's door must be Ashton's as it was closest to his brother's. I started to turn since the door was closed, and I didn't want to be caught lingering outside the nobles' bedroom doors.

"Ahh, Kye, good morning," Lord Rowland greeted as both he and Liam stepped out of his room.

"Good morning, sir."

"What are you up to today?" the count asked easily.

If it hadn't been for his pleasant tone and his friendly smile, I'd probably have thought he was accusing me of sneaking around the halls. Yet, neither man seemed concerned to see me there.

"I-I just was looking for A—Lord Ashton," I corrected quickly, straightening my back and automatically catching my hands behind my back. "To say goodbye before he leaves today, sir."

"Oh, he's probably out at the stables or the barracks, making sure everyone is ready for their journey," Liam explained.

"Oh. Thank you, sir." I ducked my head, waiting stiffly to be dismissed, or ignored as they continued on their way.

The next few moments were heavy with silence, and I wondered why they hadn't moved on. I chanced a peek up to see the count frowning at me. Oh, Gods, what had I done—?

"I thought you had been broken of that," Lord Rowland finally said thoughtfully. "Ash said you were doing so much better."

I frowned, my chin coming up in surprise before I could stop myself.

His heavy hand landed on my shoulder, drawing me closer, forcing me to break my stance. "Damn it, Angel, relax. You aren't that boy anymore. I want to see the man who risked everything to warn me of the poison, who endured Liam's idiocy—"

"Hey!" Liam protested.

"—who found the traitor, and helped bring down Barrett's steward," the count continued, undeterred by Liam's interruption. "I want the man who bared his soul to his brother and to mine, and was stronger for it. I want the man who brings Ash to his knees with one look of those pale blue eyes—"

I'm sure my jaw was hanging open as his words stunned me. Had he really thought of me as strong? And Ash... did he really...

"—You are not that bastard's slave anymore; you're not an amorato. You're not even a servant. You are more. You are family, Kye. So no more of this stiff formality."

I swallowed, wondering what dream I must still be in. It had to be a dream. But the hand on my shoulder drew me in to a quick embrace before letting me go.

"I know I'm still the Count, and you probably feel you need to be all formal with me, but you don't. We don't stand on much ceremony here, just a little show of respect is all I expect."

I nodded quickly, unable to think clearly. "Yes, sir."

I heard the count chuckle, and my shoulders slowly relaxed. "So what was your favorite part of the estate yesterday?" Lord Rowland asked, turning down the hall.

"Oh." I sucked in a breath at being caught off guard by the question, as well as the fact he probably expected me to accompany him. "The pastures and meadow, I think, sir. I worked the fields at home, uh, when I was... younger."

"Ahh, so you like playing in the dirt, huh?" he chuckled.

I ducked my head to hide my embarrassed smile. "Yes, sir. I miss the feel of the earth under my toes."

Lord Rowland's bright grin faded to a somber, knowing smile. "Yes, I suppose you would. I'm sorry you've missed out on so much lately."

I shifted uneasily, wringing my hands. "Thank you, sir."

"If you need anything, please let someone know."

I nodded. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

As he turned into the study, Liam patted my back with a smile before he followed his lord.

I sighed, relieved to be out of the count's daunting presence. Strangely, I no longer saw Ashton as the intimidating one of the two brothers as I had when I'd first seen them in Barrett's parlor. Lord Rowland was older, slightly shorter, maintaining a friendly yet imposing air. Ashton's aggressive, formidable demeanor had morphed into a man I...

Oh.

A memory struck me. Had I called Ashton amari last night as I was falling asleep? Or was it just a dream? Gods, I prayed I'd just imagined it. I couldn't bear him laughing at me for foolishly thinking he could actually love me. Yes, I now believed he did care for me, maybe as more than just a waif he'd rescued—but love?

I headed towards the back hallway. After passing by the kitchen to the exit, I took a moment to breathe in the crisp air before finding Ash's favorite spot into garden, by his mother's memorial. Knowing Ash was busy preparing his departure, I didn't want to disrupt him. I hoped I might be able to see him before he left, but in the meantime, my nervous energy about his trip had me dropping to my knees next to Lady Sterling's memorial statue.

Tucked away in the quiet seclusion of the maze of boxwood bushes and large, lush flowers, I crawled on my knees and focused on pulling weeds. I knew their roots would devour the nutrients in the soil, choking and starving the flowers around them eventually. The tall lilies looming over me seemed to sigh their gratitude. The purely physical work was gratifying, mind numbing enough to keep me from dwelling on Ashton being near Barrett tonight.

The sun rose high in the sky, beating down on my neck and causing a trickle of sweat to snake down my back. As I sat back on my heels in front of a cluster of Heliopsis, I realized that I'd lost track of time. A few piles of weeds littered the stone path I'd followed. I needed to collect them up and ask where I could discard them.

"— find out what happened!"

I jolted as a door slammed shut, and Ashton's voice roared across the grounds. Oh, no. What had happened now? Something bad must have occurred to incite such fury.

"Yes, sir!" chorused several men as footsteps pounded the ground, racing in various directions.

"I was just with him earlier this morning, Ash," Liam said. "Everything seemed fine when I left him. And I haven't seen any one out of place."

"Gods, could Barrett have someone else on the estate? Could they have taken him or hurt him again?"

I sucked in a breath. Oh Gods, Lord Rowland. He was missing... or had he been injured or... or killed? No wonder Ashton was raving at his men. To know his brother might be at the mercy of Lord Barrett or one of his minions... he had to be frantic with worry.

Oh, please, please, I prayed, don't let anything happen to the count.

"Rosemary is... saw... outside, but... was... hours ago."

Too many different voices competed for my attention, some of them out of breath. I could only catch a few of their words.

"I just heard... when..." Donnelly's heavy pants indicated he'd just run up to the viscount. "...he's... missing?"

"Yes, nobody... for hours."

"You think... Barrett might have...?"

"Don't you? Why else would he have just disappeared?" Ashton snapped.

"He... grown man... could have... walk..."

I was already shaking my head at the thought Donnelly was suggesting. There was no way Lord Rowland would leave without telling someone, especially Liam, even for a walk. But how would Barrett have gotten the count off the property without anyone seeing?

I contemplated staying in the garden to keep out of the way. I wouldn't be much help; I hadn't seen the count since this morning in the hallway, and I hadn't been paying much attention as I pulled weeds. I silently cursed myself for my inattention—maybe if I had been more aware, I might have heard something useful.

"... said he was gone. Are you sure, sir?" Tareth's voice now. It seemed everyone was involved in the hunt for the missing lord.

Someone must have nodded because Tareth suddenly seemed even more upset. "No! No, he can't be."

I hurriedly gathered the weeds I'd pulled and rose, intent on helping my brother and Ash. I hated to hear them so upset. Standing now, I could see above most of the flowers and boxwood, catching sight of Ashton's back as he spoke with Tareth and Liam. He was clearly in distress. The tight pull of Ashton's shoulders in his white shirt as he ran his hands through his chestnut hair broke my heart.

A quick glance and I noticed everyone was frantically scanning the grounds, hoping the count would reappear, or at least spot some evidence of what had happened. I found myself looking as well, but I didn't expect to find him when no one else had.

"By the Gods!"

I whipped around at Tareth's exclamation, wondering what he'd suddenly seen, but he was only staring in my direction. I turned, wondering if I'd missed something behind me.

Instead, Tareth was running towards me. I only made it a few steps before he'd raced into the garden to hug me. I could only stare at him in astonishment and confusion as I found myself in a vise-like squeeze.

"You're fine. You're all right," he mumbled after a deep breath. "You had me worried when they said..." He pointedly looked over at the viscount, who had spun at Tareth's outburst. A myriad of emotions flitted over his face—anger and worry to shock and... joy? "I suspect you are about to have more company, though."

I frowned at Ashton's reaction, not sure what suddenly had his shoulders slumping in relief. "What happened? Did they find Count Rowland?"

Tareth frowned in confusion as I watched Liam laugh and pat Ashton's back. Ashton was rubbing his hands over his face as his shoulders shook as well.

"What—"

The door next to Liam slammed open, a voice preceding its owner. "I've had the entire inside checked again, Ash. He's not inside."

My jaw dropped as Lord Rowland stepped out next to the two men. Liam continued to chuckle, mumbling something to the count as he nodded toward Tareth and me. I only had a moment to see Lord Rowland burst into laughter before Ash broke away from them and strode toward a break in the boxwood leading into the garden.

Tareth quickly patted my shoulder with a grin as he backed away down a separate path. "Oh, yes, you are definitely about to have some company. Good luck, brother."

What? I was frozen in place by confusion. I had no idea what he was talking about. Was I in trouble? Is that why I would need some good luck? My glance at Ashton's slight scowl did have me wondering if I might have angered him in some way.

He trampled a couple of hyacinths as he raced through the garden path. I opened my mouth to protest his carelessness, but suddenly I was engulfed in his arms. He clutched me to his chest, my arms holding the weeds were crushed between us.

For several moments, he didn't move, just held me, stroking a hand over my back. I relaxed against him. I didn't know what was going on, but I wasn't going to turn down spending a few minutes in his arms before he left either.

A loud whistle caused me to jump in his arms. I twisted in Ashton's grip to see Liam with his fingers in the edge of his mouth whistling to get the attention of the men who had been sent on an apparently useless search. How could they not know Lord Rowland had still been inside?

"He's been found!" Liam shouted. "Spread the word, call off the search."

A chorus of 'Ayes' and cheers dotted the grounds as Ashton finally released me from his crushing embrace only to grip my face.

"Where have you been?" Ash demanded.

I jerked at his tone, a moment of panicked fear washing over me. But it slid away just as quickly as it had come. I was confused and a little anxious—but I wasn't afraid of the man in front of me.

And now that I could look up into his face, I could see fear reflected in his liquid brown eyes.

A quick glance back at Lord Rowland and the steward, and a thought struck me.

"Were—were you looking... for me?" I managed to get out. "With all those men...?"

"Yes! Stubborn! Of course I was!" Ash ranted, and despite the chaos I'd apparently caused, a bit of elation that I was maybe worth all that effort had me smiling. "I came looking for you to say good-bye before I left, and no one knew where you were. No one could find you." He ran a frustrated hand through my hair. "I panicked," he admitted softly.

"But I was right here."

"No one knew that. I thought you'd been taken... or left," he added in despair.

"You told me I could go anywhere," I reasoned. "I didn't think—"

"You can. Of course you can," Ash interrupted before sighing deeply, his face flushed. "It's just me. This is all new to me... how I feel and I just... I panicked when I couldn't find you. I can't help wanting to protect you. I'm sorry. You can go where ever you'd like, do anything. As much as I hope you'll stay here with..." He swallowed whatever he'd been about to say before amending, "...stay on the estate, you can choose to leave if you wish. I'll give you whatever you need, coin, clothes, a horse—"

I stopped him with a hand on his chest. It was beating so rapidly under my palm. He hadn't been angry with me; he'd been scared. I looked up at him with a smile. "How about if I let someone know when I'm going to weed the gardens again?"

Ashton's jaw gaped open.

"And shame on you for crushing those poor flowers back there. Sir." I playfully poked his chest, hoping to alleviate some of his panic.

He continued to stare at me in stunned silence. I tilted my head at him with a small smirk. I still had one armful of weeds hanging limply from my hold. A smudge of dirt now marred his crisp white shirt from when he'd engulfed me in his arms.

"And look at what I've done to your shirt now," I said, wiping at it with my free hand but only succeeding in smearing more dirt across his shirt.

"Fuck the shirt." He grabbed my arm, yanking me to him and causing me to drop the weeds in surprise. His gaze was heated, determined as he wrapped his strong arms around me. I carefully rested my hands on his chest between us, breathing in his masculine scent.

After several moments, Ashton pulled back slightly, tilting my chin up to him. Our faces were so close, I could feel his warm breath ghosting over my lips, and suddenly I hoped he would actually kiss me. A real kiss, a tender kiss.

He'd given me chaste pecks on the cheek and forehead, but now I wanted more. Barrett had never kissed me, not really, and it was more a brutal assault. Ashton made me desire so many new things, things I never thought I'd want after being with Barrett. But he made every touch, every caress, every soft kiss tender and new. I found I wanted more.

Please...

"Kye," Ash breathed out my name on a whisper. I blinked up at him, meeting his heated gaze. "May I?"

I blinked again in confusion.

The corner of his lips lifted slightly. "May I kiss you?"

My lips parted in a small stunned gasp. He was asking me? No one had ever asked my permission to do anything before. Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes.

I nodded quickly and found myself lifting up on my toes as he smiled and bent closer. His lips gently pressed against mine, the hesitation and gentleness were both sweet and frustrating. When I finally felt his tongue softly seeking entrance, I melted, opening to his explorations. I clutched at his shirt as I reveled in the taste of him. A spark of lust shot straight through to my groin.

When he finally finished with a last peck on my swollen lips, I found myself gasping for breath. Gods, I'd forgotten to breathe. He had literally stolen my breath away.

He grinned down, still holding me tight. "Thank you. I've wanted to do that for so long. I hope you found it as enjoyable as I did."

I was sure I was blushing the same bright red as the roses. "I-I liked it very much."

Ash's lips tipped in a knowing smile at my shyness. "That's good to know."

I stood there mesmerized by the man for several long moments as he continued to hold me before he looked up at the sun. A frown appeared as he pulled back slightly.

"I need to be on my way," he admitted with distaste, then glanced down at his shirt. "And I do need to change first."

Oh, yes, his journey to the vipers' den. I tightened my grip on his shirt, even though I knew I couldn't stop him from going. He obviously sensed my unease.

"Don't worry, Kye, I have plenty of guards coming. I'm well protected."

"Don't eat anything," I mumbled.

Ashton looked at me sharply, his brows furrowed in consternation.

"The guards can't protect you from poisoning."

"The Earl wouldn't dare try that at his own dinner party."

"Are you sure?"

Ashton appeared to be thinking about it. "I doubt he would risk it. But, you're right, if Barrett knows I'm coming, he might not be able to resist the urge to try and convince the Earl to do something," he admitted. "I promise not to eat or drink anything while I'm there."

I supposed that would have to do. I still didn't like the idea of him going, but I had no control over whether he stayed or not.

I forced down my instinct to remain silent, the need to quell my own desires as I'd been trained. My voice sounded foreign to me as I whispered tentatively, "May... may I have... another... before you leave?"

The wide grin that split Ashton's face had my heart swelling with hope. "You never have to ask, Kye. I will always want to kiss you."

I leaned towards him, eager for a second taste of the man. He didn't wait, and this time, he devoured me. I'd never felt so wanted, so desired in my life. I clung to the man, selfishly wondering if I could make him forget his trip.

When we finally parted, we were both panting, desire still blazing between us. I managed to step back.

"Be careful, Ash," I croaked out hoarsely. "Please."

"Always. I promise to be back by tomorrow at the latest." He gave my hand one last squeeze as he stepped away, leaving me chilled with the loss of his heat.

My heart thudded. My mind suddenly racing with all the horrible things that could happen to him: poisoning by the Earl, being held captive and tortured, getting attacked on the road, getting cut, maimed, or even killed by Barrett.

I swallowed thickly, blinking back the tears threatening to spill over. I slowly picked up the weeds, turning to leave the garden, but stopped as I glanced at his mother's statue.

I dropped to my knees in front of her, the weeds falling from my arm like a pitiful sacrifice at her feet.

"Oh merciful Gods," I started, even though I hadn't known the gods to be very merciful in my past, "please protect Ash from harm as he travels this night. So many might wish him injury or... or even death. You've protected Lord Rowland from my previous Master before, please find it in your mercy to do so for Ash as well. If you will please keep him safe, I will forever be in your debt, a debt I will happily pay for with my life..." I paused, not knowing what else to add, so I finished. "Amen."

I sat there for several long minutes before I heard Ashton's voice again, calling out orders to his men. They were gathering near the stables as final preparations were made. I was relieved to see at least ten men traveling with him. I wandered closer wanting to see him off, but I stayed out of the way of all the antsy beasts ready to run with their riders on their backs.

Once everyone had mounted, Ashton nudged his horse into a trot, aiming close to me with a wide smile as he leaned as close as he could from his seated position. "Be safe, teh amari," he bid before kicking his mare into motion.

I was automatically nodding at the command to stay safe, when my jaw fell open as I realized what else he'd said. I'm sure my heart skipped a few beats as I stood there gaping.

My love. He had called me 'his love.' And I wasn't dreaming this time. I couldn't help the smile I wore the rest of the day.

I only hoped that the next morning wouldn't dawn with my worst nightmare on the horizon.