My Twentieth Year - 24. red nails

AC these are interesting? The first one I sort of feel if i close my eyes. To me this is about innocence and desire, maybe at the point where there was a good possibility innocence was going to be left behind.
Red nails is strangely compelling but I’m not sure what it means, it certainly paints a picture.
You’ve done a lot of wondering in the last few poems… black shoes and now leaves.
These are all interesting AC, but I can’t tell yet what they mean to me. But it’s always good to see new stuff from you!

Number 50: sky pink with excitement is such a marvelous and provoking image. It invited me to ponder the connections between slumber and excitement.

Number 51: the Prelude misdirected me...I looked at the lady, and not the leaves!
really nice trick! Thanks for sharing both if these...

Very, very cool AC.. Poem no. 51, the aha moment came for me at the Poem. The repetitive 'in a clas about Death' was what made me pause.. Then I had to go read the prelude again to fully appreciate its ambiguity.. I love those moments when I clue in..
No. 50, Beautiful..

No. 50
On day it's bloviating, another it's innocency
I wondered why that word was chosen, instead of innocence. It became clear when I read it aloud. It really influences the flow of the line. Another aha-moment for me.

No.51.
Words with different meanings: juggle-toys for poets. The inversion at the end invites to read again ... and again. A pleasant surprise. And the leaf was dead...

You showed no mercy; you made me think.
You assaulted me with red and pink.
Ravaged by color without relief
Rendered me crisp as a brittle leaf

On 07/13/2016 09:44 AM, Mikiesboy said:

AC these are interesting? The first one I sort of feel if i close my eyes. To me this is about innocence and desire, maybe at the point where there was a good possibility innocence was going to be left behind.

Red nails is strangely compelling but I’m not sure what it means, it certainly paints a picture.

You’ve done a lot of wondering in the last few poems… black shoes and now leaves.

These are all interesting AC, but I can’t tell yet what they mean to me. But it’s always good to see new stuff from you!

Thank you, Tim. I really like your take and impressions on No. 50. I don’t recall the circumstances of writing that one, but it almost seems to be a 'bed poem' – either one of my sleepless night scribbles, or maybe an afternoon daydream with me lying at the foot of my bed and staring up and out of my dorm-room window.

Several reviews have come in for the 'class about Death' poem, and I'm a bit intrigued by the attention it's garnered. The writing of that poem I remember in full detail! I'll provide more info in answer to some of the other comments.

Thanks for your support and a wonderful review.

On 07/13/2016 11:34 AM, Parker Owens said:

Number 50: sky pink with excitement is such a marvelous and provoking image. It invited me to ponder the connections between slumber and excitement.

 

Number 51: the Prelude misdirected me...I looked at the lady, and not the leaves!

really nice trick! Thanks for sharing both if these...

Parker, a wonderful review – thank you! I like your take on No. 50 a lot. I found it provoking when I recently discovered it amongst my papers and wonder about it too.

As for No. 51, I took an evening class taught by one of the most popular professors at my college. He had been a Jesuit, met and fell in love with a woman, married and had ten kids with her. He taught many classes, and this one – "Death and Dying" – had a long waiting list to get in. The poem was written in that class one evening.

Thanks again for your support.

On 07/13/2016 12:29 PM, Defiance19 said:

Very, very cool AC.. Poem no. 51, the aha moment came for me at the Poem. The repetitive 'in a clas about Death' was what made me pause.. Then I had to go read the prelude again to fully appreciate its ambiguity.. I love those moments when I clue in..

No. 50, Beautiful..

Thank you, Def! Saying No. 50 is beautiful makes my heart soar!

As for No. 51, there really was a class about death, and a young woman doing her nails, and she left all of a sudden, looking upset. Then I saw the leaf.

Now, I've exposed the truth of the poem, but still feel delighted so many read it and got a 'zap' from it. I suppose that's how I felt on the evening of the events.

Thanks again for a wonderful review, and all of your support.

On 07/14/2016 01:34 AM, J.HunterDunn said:

No. 50

On day it's bloviating, another it's innocency

I wondered why that word was chosen, instead of innocence. It became clear when I read it aloud. It really influences the flow of the line. Another aha-moment for me.

 

No.51.

Words with different meanings: juggle-toys for poets. The inversion at the end invites to read again ... and again. A pleasant surprise. And the leaf was dead...

Yes, to paraphrase Dickens – "The leaf was dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that." I appreciate your comments on the Death Class poem. As my reply to other reviews may clue you in, the poem is actually a bit of scene-painting, and I'm thrilled it has effect on people.

As for innocency, yes indeed – replace one word, or one beat of one word, and the structure would fall

Thanks again, my dear friend. Always love to see your thoughts.

On 07/14/2016 10:47 AM, skinnydragon said:

You showed no mercy; you made me think.

You assaulted me with red and pink.

Ravaged by color without relief

Rendered me crisp as a brittle leaf

Thank for a marvelous review –

it's nice to see my words made you stew,

and thus now you will see

my gratitude forever will be.

So now I better understand your status posting. I was certain it was something more than just something that had dropped into your thoughts at the time. Those few words carried far too much to be otherwise.
I too took a course on "Death and Dying" while in college. Why do those classes draw us? Is it a means to satisfy some curiosity at a time when we still think ourselves immortal and far removed from the subject? It would seem such an odd time to do something so mundane as to paint your fingernails and yet ... it would seem the subject might be more closely felt than appearance would tell. Then comes true focus on the leaf. Left in a corner to face the end of its existence alone. A metaphor perhaps for a not yet realized passing of youth or something more ... or ... simple observation.
With your words you make me search and ponder.

On 07/16/2016 11:11 PM, dughlas said:

So now I better understand your status posting. I was certain it was something more than just something that had dropped into your thoughts at the time. Those few words carried far too much to be otherwise.

I too took a course on "Death and Dying" while in college. Why do those classes draw us? Is it a means to satisfy some curiosity at a time when we still think ourselves immortal and far removed from the subject? It would seem such an odd time to do something so mundane as to paint your fingernails and yet ... it would seem the subject might be more closely felt than appearance would tell. Then comes true focus on the leaf. Left in a corner to face the end of its existence alone. A metaphor perhaps for a not yet realized passing of youth or something more ... or ... simple observation.

With your words you make me search and ponder.

Thanks, Dugh, for a wonderful review. I appreciate your comments and giving some thought to the 'how and why' surrounding the class about death. I remember mine was a fascinating course, but then again, our professor was a genuinely interesting and gentle man. I believe this was the class of his I had where he spoke of being a young seminarian in his home state of Michigan and involved in the blessing of a parish church. It seems the structure had paranormal activity – banging from inside the brink walls, and so forth. This came up in the context of the case of the little boy whose real life possession was treated by the Jesuits in Saint Louis and later was made into the movie "The Exorcist." As he knew the attending priest well, this made for a fascinating account in class.

Thank you again for reading, reviewing and leaving me you warm support.