How I Got Carter - 25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

While we were on our way to the dance, the interior of the limo felt huge, like we could have fit ten more people in there. It seemed impossibly fancy, pristine and elegant, and we all felt the same way. It’s the same limo, with the same driver and the same people, but it doesn’t feel that way anymore.

It’s just the way these nights end. Like when they turn on the lights at the end of the dance. The glitz and glamour are gone, and you’re left with the same old high school gym that it’s always been.

Except in this case it’s the seven of us packed into the back of a car. The same people, but a little bit hotter, a little bit sweatier, and all completely exhausted. Our clothes wrinkled, hair out of place, and makeup faded. There’s no more pretense of dress up. We all just want to get home, get showered, and get to bed.

That’s how I feel, at least.

The sooner I can get away from all this and have some time to process, the better. After all the build up and how great everything felt tonight, I feel like I just took a punch to the stomach. And of all the people to take the wind out of my sails, it had to be Beth.

For now, I’m not even sure what to think. I’m sort of mad and a little bit hurt, but also confused and tired and determined not to get drawn into Beth’s negativity, along with about a thousand other thing.

Earlier I wasn’t sure what I wanted tonight, and now that it’s happened I’m still not even sure if I got it.

So I’m right back to square one. As sure as I was about Carter during the dance, I just don’t know.

Which isn’t to say that I didn’t have a good time. I did. And from the looks of the contented, tired faces around me, it looks like everybody else had a lot of fun too.

Matt and Jackie are both leaning hard against each other. Partly in a way that they are trying to be close to one another, but partly in a way that they both look like they might fall asleep sitting up in the car.

Gray and Heather seem like they had a good time, too. I’m not sure that sparks were flying or anything like that, but I don’t think she regrets taking that bet with Gray and getting suckered into coming to the dance with him. They aren’t wrapped up quite as close, but I saw Heather getting a little handsy with Gray throughout the night. She obviously isn’t completely immune to his charms.

And then there’s Ricky.

However things went with Caitlyn tonight, here he is, left high and dry. I would say I feel bad for him, but ever since we met up at the end of the dance, he’s been in such a good mood. If it were up to me, I would just let it slide for tonight, let him enjoy the rest of his evening, and follow up on exactly what happened next time we hang out.

But the other guys aren’t going to let him off so easy.

Gray’s the first on our docket to get dropped off, and he knows it. He doesn’t waste any time getting on Ricky’s case about it.

“Where’s your girl, Rick?” he asks.

Ricky shrugs nonchalantly. “She had to head home early.”

“At least she’s real,” offers Matt.

We all laugh, but Heather comes to her, or maybe Ricky’s defense.

“She seemed sweet,” Heather says.

Gray chuckles. “That’s exactly what Ricky looks for in a girl,” he says.

The guys all laugh again and now Jackie jumps in.

“She was pretty, too,” she says.

The girls don’t seem to grasp what we’re getting at. She may have been nice and pretty, but…

“There was no way she was letting me get anywhere with her,” Ricky finally concedes, looking thoughtfully out the window for effect. “I was thinking second base might be the cards, but alas.”

The guys all crack up and the girls try to look shocked, but they’re getting a kick out of it too.

That’s the crux of it, really. Ricky found a hot, prudish girl to take to the dance. While I’m sure he was hoping she would be some sort of unicorn - a sexually curious and adventurous virgin - that doesn’t seem to be the case.

We drop Gray off at his house, since it’s the closest to the school. I think he’s hopeful that Heather might surprise everyone and follow him out, but she isn’t biting. She gives him a chaste, but not completely unfeeling peck on the cheek and sends him on his way.

Next is Jackie and Matt, who both get dropped off at Matt’s house. Jackie and Heather hug awkwardly under the cramped ceiling of the car while Matt makes the rounds of high fives and fist bumps to all the guys before they step out into the night and we pull away.

Heather is next, as she actually lives just a few blocks away from Ricky. We all say goodbye as she steps out of the car. She was really sweet, and Gray seemed to have a great time tonight with her. I wonder (somewhat hopefully) if we won’t be seeing more of her in the future.

Which leaves only me, Ricky, and Carter.

With the other guys and their dates in the car, it was easy to ignore the elephant in the room, but now, not so much. While we aren’t just down to me and Carter yet, Ricky is kind of a wild card in this situation, since he knows that something is up between us. Again, I’m not sure exactly how much he knows, but the instant Heather leaves the back of the limo, I can tell that he knows enough.

“Who would have figured?” he asks, possibly to himself, possibly to us. “I’m the only one riding home by myself tonight.”

It is a little strange, at least to me. Of anyone in the group, he’s the notorious Don Juan, maybe even of the whole school. He never doesn’t have a girl he’s with, plus a few on the sidelines all waiting their turn.

“It won’t kill you to spend one night alone,” laughs Carter. “Maybe it’ll be good for you.”

Ricky moves his hand up and down, clumsily miming jacking off. “That’s true,” he says, “I could use a good forearm workout.”

Carter laughs again, and I manage to crack a smile this time.

We pull into Ricky’s and the car stops in front of his front door.

“Have a good night guys,” says Ricky as he moves toward the door. He eyes us both and opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, but stops. He laughs for a second before raising his eyebrows at us. “Uh, yeah,” he says, then steps out of the car.

I can imagine what he wanted to say. Something about me and Carter. About how we’re going home together. Maybe even a suggestive comment about what we might get up to later tonight.

Twenty minutes ago, it would have been funny. I would have laughed, maybe given Carter’s thigh a squeeze for effect. Hell, if I wanted to throw caution to the wind, I could have leaned over and kissed Carter, right in front of him.

The fact that Ricky is in on the secret was one of the best things about tonight, the fact that Carter told one of his friends about us. I’m not his secret anymore. And now that Ricky’s gone, we have the rest of the night to prove it to each other.

But Ricky’s departure has the opposite effect on me. Like he took with him the last possible way to ignore the sudden downhill plunge my feelings have taken on the emotional roller coaster that has been the story of my relationship with Carter. Now, sitting alone with Carter in the back of the limo and a fifteen minute drive ahead of us, there’s nothing else I can think about.

Carter scoots a little closer to me as the car starts moving again, and I don’t return the favor. Instead I turn away from him and look out the window. Rationally, I don’t even know if I should be mad at Carter, but I can’t help but give him the cold shoulder, almost like my subconscious is reminding me that I’m not fully convinced.

“What’s up?” he asks. He sounds concerned, but not overly so.

Where to begin?

I could tell him all about tonight. The way I started to feel. How he once again pulled me back out of the safety of my doubt and distance. Right back to him. Right back into wanting to be with him again. And then how, at the peak of my optimism and excitement, how it had all come crashing down again.

But that’s not really what’s up with me, is it? I need to get right to what set this whole thing off. Beth.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, still not turning to face him. If I look at Carter, I know all the emotions I’m feeling will be ten times stronger. I wait for what feels like a whole minute, then Carter finally answers.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I should have asked you about it, but I needed somebody to be in on it with me.”

He sighs.

“I know that there’s a good chance that the other guys will find out too.” He pauses. “But I’m ok with that, and I guess I didn’t think that you would-”

“Not that,” I tell him. “Why didn’t you tell me that you didn’t break up with Beth?”

“What?” Carter says in apparent disbelief. “I thought you knew that,” he says.

“How would I know that?” I ask, still not turning to him.

“I just thought that…” He stops whatever he was about to says and puts a hand on my shoulder. “I thought you knew. I should have-.”

“So now you’re with me, because you can’t have Beth.”

I say it like it’s the only obvious conclusion that I can draw. Carter doesn’t respond at first, and I know it’s because that hurt him. That’s the crux of the doubt that’s been worming its way into my heart for the last half hour, and it’s what takes everything he did for me tonight and renders it meaningless.

“It’s not like that,” he says, quieter and more meekly than before. “She broke up with me. That’s true. But that’s not the point.”

“How is that not the point?” I ask.

I finally turn to look at Carter, and he looks thoughtful. I figured he would be bristling, or that he might drop into his state of aloof coolness, ready to explain it all away for the umpteenth time. But for once he doesn’t look like he has the answers already, he looks like he’s trying to figure them out.

“It hit me as soon as she said it,” he says. “Like a huge weight came off of me. It became completely clear, like I was finally free to see what I really want.” He reaches up like he wants to touch my face, but he doesn’t. “What I really need.”

“No it didn’t,” I say, shaking my head. “It just whittled down your choices from two to one.”

“It gave me clarity,” Carter argues.

“It took away your options,” I fire back.

“Jackson,” Carter pleads, “hear me out-”

“I thought you chose me,” I say, trying not to let my voice crack under what I’m sure are imminent tears. “I thought you finally figured it out. But you didn’t. You got backed into another corner, and I was the only person you had left.”

“I did choose you,” says Carter.

“No you didn’t!”

Carter startles at the volume of my voice. I didn’t mean to yell, but he’s so frustrating. He keeps arguing the same thing over and over, and I can’t possibly understand how he thinks I can believe him.

“You could have chosen me for months,” I say, “but you never did, and you still haven’t. You didn’t want to have to choose.” I blink my eyes hard to stop them, but I feel two big tears roll down my cheeks. “I know all of this is new to you, but you still know what you want, and what you don’t want. And you wanted her more than you wanted me. And once you couldn’t have her, I was all that’s left.”

“I did know,” he says quietly after a time. “I always knew it was you.”

“Then you’re weak.”

As soon as I say it, I almost wish I could take it back. The words just tumble out before I can stop them. This time I feel a little bit of regret at how my words hurt him, but he needs to hear it. If he really wants to be with me he needs to hear it.

“If you knew, you never told me,” I explain. “You never showed me, not really. And most importantly, you were never strong enough to make the decision…”

I almost finish it with ‘when you had the chance,’ but I don’t.

Instead I just wait. I let my words sink in and burn. He needs to feel it. I want him to feel the pain of the rejection that I’ve been feeling.

Against all my better judgment I let my guard down again tonight, and I let Carter back in. I gave him another shot, even after all the false starts and confusion I felt the first time around. I let myself believe in us one more time, and once again I’m being thrown back into the same old world of worry, confusion, and uncertainty.

“You’re right.”

Carter looks up and meets my gaze. He looks different. The same way he looked that night two weeks ago when he drove me to the locker room and asked me to go to the dance with him. He looks anxious and unsure of himself. Of all his looks, this is the one I’ve seen the least.

“I’m not strong enough for you,” he says. “You took a risk from day one. You put yourself out on the line for me, and I never took that same chance. You never had a backup plan. I couldn’t do it, and you did it every single time we hung out.

“I was confused and I was so scared of what it meant that I liked you. But you never gave up on me, Jackson. You gave me a million chances, and I still couldn’t take you up on it. I liked you and I still like you, more than I’ve ever told you, and I finally feel like I can be good enough for you.”

He sighs and looks down for a second before looking back into my eyes. His look has none of the cavalier confidence I’m so used to when he’s trying to convince me of something. He looks so lost, so fragile.

“I don’t deserve another shot with you, but you can’t stop me from wanting it.”

He’s never said anything like this.

In the past it was always action. He would have given me what I wanted at that moment, which was his time, attention, and a little bit of sex. I don’t think he was consciously doing it to placate me, but he knew on some level that it would keep me within arm’s reach. It was the least he needed to give me to make sure that he could still have me.

But tonight has been different. It was the opposite of Carter’s usual approach. It was slow and steady, and every time he gave me something, or was good to me, he followed it up with more. This is the first time he hasn’t taken the fastest, easiest way. It’s the first time I’ve really felt like he’s committed. He made our relationship feel real.

And now he’s actually telling me how he feels. What he wants. It’s a completely different reaction to him making a mistake. He’s not trying to win me back, he’s trying to show me his cards and letting me decide if it’s what I want.

And I actually understand. I’ve been so upset about Beth for so long, and now I think I get it. It’s the one thing that Carter’s wrong about. He thinks that I was strong and fearless, but he couldn’t be more wrong.

I knew that Carter wasn’t ready to be with me, but I kept pursuing him, kept throwing myself at him over and over. I couldn’t break it off, even though I knew I should. I should have been strong enough to put my foot down or make demands, but I wasn’t.

How is that any different from what he did?

He says he knew that he wanted me, and he knew that Beth wasn’t the right choice for him, but he couldn’t break it off. Whether it was some obligation to her, worry about being with me, or just confusion about his sexuality, he was paralyzed.

I was afraid of losing Carter if I stopped trying to win him over, even for a second. Carter was afraid of doing something he had never done before and could never take back.

We were both afraid of losing, and it took both of us until about two weeks ago to figure it out.

The car stops and I come back to reality. I suddenly realize that Carter is holding my hands in his own. He’s holding them tight, too tight, like he’s afraid he’ll be letting me go forever if he loosens his grip. He’s still frantically searching my face with the same look of anxiety from before.

The door opens and I expect him to pull back, but he doesn’t. Another tiny sign, a small thing that would have been different before.

I hear Anthony’s footsteps as he moves back away from the car. He can’t properly see in, but I’m sure he’s aware that he’s interrupting something.

“Whenever you’re ready, gentlemen,” he says.

Whenever we’re ready...

Carter took me to the dance tonight. He danced with me. He flirted with me. He made me feel special, like he really, truly wanted me. Every bit of it felt real.

Whenever we’re ready...

He told Ricky about us. He told one of his best friends that we were together, that he’s with me. There’s no coming back from that.

Whenever we’re ready…

He offered to dance with me in front of everyone. He would have announced it to the entire world tonight. At the risk of everything, he would have danced with me. That’s how sure he is now.

I’m suddenly aware that my heart is pounding, and I’m gripping Carter’s hands even tighter than he’s gripping mine.

I swallow hard and take a deep breath. As I exhale, I feel my mouth slowly form into a tiny smile. I loosen my grip then give his hands a quick squeeze and he smiles back.

I don’t know what to say, but thankfully I don’t need to say anything.

We rise as one and step out of the car. Anthony nods to us as we walk past and closes the door behind us. Carter slips his arm around my waist and walks me toward the house.

We’re ready.

-------    -------    -------    -------

My feet barely hit floor from the last step on the basement stairs and Carter’s hands and mouth are on me. His left hand unbuttons my jacket, then my vest, while his right pulls my face into his own. His kisses are short but sweet, lacking the furious desperate need of the last time we were together, but still full of intensity.

He pulls my outer layers over my shoulders and I let them drop to the floor. With just my thin dress shirt between us, he lets his free hand start to explore my body while his other undoes the buttons one by one. His fingertips trace across my collarbone, my pecs, my nipples, and my stomach. As he pulls open my shirt, he slips his hand inside and traces the same route, sending a shudder through my body at the touch.

It’s the way I usually touch him. Like he’s trying to soak it all in, as though he’s memorizing me with his hands. It’s the same process he’s followed before, but I can feel the difference in intention, just like I could feel the difference in so many small parts of what he did and said throughout the night.

I pull away from his kiss and start the same process on Carter. This way I get to see a little more of what I’m uncovering, the unbelievably sexy young man underneath these clothes. I unbutton his jacket and vest, then start to work on his shirt and feel his body. While I do it, his hands never leave me, sliding across my chest, stomach, and shoulders.

I smile to myself as I pull his bowtie out of his collar to separate it from his shirt. He can keep that on, at least for a little bit.

We stand for a few minutes, our hands feeling every square inch of each other’s naked torsos. We’ve been here before, but this time it just feels different.

We aren’t here to take each other tonight. We’re here to have each other. I’m struck again by the word that pops back into my head. It’s the only word that I can think of that differentiates tonight from all the other times: Real.

I can’t say exactly what was missing before, but it’s undeniably here. Our hookups from before feel weirdly stunted, like they were only half of what they could have been.

I finally close my eyes and lean in for another kiss. His lips barely even touch mine to start, but the softness of our connection feels incredibly deep. There’s a gentle sureness to the contact between our lips. Maybe it’s Carter letting his guard down, or maybe it’s me finally, truly believing what I’m seeing.

It’s not fireworks. It’s more of a solid, safe warmness. A deep, resounding glow.

Carter pulls back from the kiss and smiles at me.

He pauses and stares deep into my eyes. Without words he says so many things to me. He’s glad I gave him another chance. He’s glad I’m here. His smile repeats all the things he said in the car, and once again, they finally ring true.

We kiss again, this time with more passion as I let my hands slide down below Carter’s waist. I unbutton his pants and let them fall, revealing a nicely filled-out package straining against the fabric of his boxer briefs. I slide my hand against him, cupping the bundle of flesh inside. Meanwhile Carter’s hands explore my ass, gently squeezing in time with the ebb and flow of our kissing.

Before long we’re both completely naked (except for Carter’s black bowtie) and rubbing up against each other’s bodies. Mouth to mouth, Chest to chest, stomach to stomach, and cock to cock. We make out for another minute or two before Carter guides us both gently to his bed.

His knees hit the back of the bed first and I push him down the rest of the way. I lie on top of him, still loving the sensations coursing through my body as I grind against him.

I let my kisses drop below his mouth to his neck, then trace a line slowly down the rest of his body. I’ll never get tired of my lips brushing over his pecs and his well-defined abs. I kiss each one on my journey before finally reaching his lower stomach.

While I near my final destination, Carter leans forward to grab my hips and pull them around him. I straddle his face, now on top in a classic 69. We’re both right where we want to be, our faces just inches away from each other’s cocks.

I take a tentative lick down Carter’s shaft and inhale the musky scent of his manhood. God, it turns me on so much. It’s everything sexy about a boy, the perfect combination of all the smells that turn my crank. It’s so manly, so sensual, and right now, it’s all mine.

As I take another long lick from the the base of Carter’s dick all the way to its tip, I feel an incredible wetness engulf my own member. I moan into Carter’s cock as he takes me into his mouth. I still can’t believe how good he is at giving head, and how good it makes me feel.

I try not to let myself get too distracted by what’s happening down below my waist, since I have a perfectly good dick to suck right in front of me. I take the head into my mouth and flick my tongue around it, eliciting a moan from Carter. He’s great at this, but I’m no slouch.

I start to bob up and down, while Carter does the same. We move in tandem for a minute, both simultaneously turned on by the hot cocks filling our mouths and the delicious sensations coming from our own dicks getting sucked.

I think back to the last time we fooled around, and I remember a few of the other things I got to enjoy. I keep working on Carter from my end, but I try to pull my hips forward a little bit, to give Carter the signal of what I want next.

He picks up on it and lets me out of his mouth. With one hand he keeps stroking me, while his tongue moves slowly southward. He licks across my smooth sack, sending a quick shiver up my spine. He follows past that and across my taint, finally arriving at the final destination. My ass.

Without a second of hesitation, Carter digs in. His tongue feels like it’s everywhere down there, prodding, probing, and flicking across and into my ass. I can barely think about the blowjob I’m trying to give as he sends me into another world of pleasure.

I grind my ass into Carter’s mouth, whimpering and moaning at his ministrations. I knew he could give head like a pro, but when did he get so good at this? My ass feels like it’s on fire, and the only thing I want is more.

I think again about the last time we hooked up, and the finger that Carter put inside me. I remember how good it felt, and how it left me more than a little curious at what else we could explore. As unbelievable as it feels to have Carter giving me a rimjob, I lift up my hips and grab his hand, guiding it back toward my ass.

For a second I don’t feel anything, but then I feel a gentle pressure, pushing against my hot, wet hole. I bite my lip to keep from yelling. I feel the pressure increase and then finally give way, Carter’s finger sliding into me up to the first knuckle.

I push back against him, and feel another inch or so of his finger slide into me. I feel like I’m melting.

And it just makes me want more.

I return my attention to Carter’s dick, which is sticking straight up in the air just a few inches in front of my face. I push my mouth down over it, coating it with a fresh layer of saliva. I want to get it nice and wet for what I want to try next. I want to get it ready.

I feel something push into my ass and realize Carter must have slid in a second finger. It’s an entirely new feeling. So much bigger. So much more full. Carter must be thinking the same thing.

Up and down, I bob my head a few more times over Carter’s cock, suddenly so aware of its size, shape, and length. Seven inches long and perfectly proportioned, it’s definitely bigger than a couple of fingers. Still, the more I think about it, the more sure I am. I want it inside me.

I flip around and straddle Carter’s waist, grinding my ass back and forth across his dick. It slides easily in the space between my ass cheeks and his stomach, thoroughly lubricated from our combined rimming and sucking.

I am acutely aware of how empty I feel. Carter’s fingers left me with a throbbing void inside of me, and I am aching to be filled. I reach down and grab Carter’s cock in my hand and think about it going into me. I think about how badly I want to be filled up.

Carter suddenly reaches up and grabs my face, pulling it down toward his own. He kisses me hard, then pulls away.

“Are you sure about this?” he asks.

I smile and return the favor with another kiss.

“I’m so sure,” I say, thinking again about the needy void inside of me. “Are you?”

“I want you, Jackson,” Carter says, “every part of you.” He runs his hands from my face, across my shoulders, and down my body to my hips. “But if you’re not ready, then I don’t want to-”

I shut him up with another kiss.

“Just don’t move,” I tell him, sitting back up. “Let me go slow, at my own speed.”

“I, um…” Carter looks up into my eyes. “Before you do this, I…”

I line him up underneath me and feel the tip land against my entrance.

“I love you.”

I smile and lean down for one last kiss.

When I sit back up I increase the pressure on Carter’s cock and feel it pushing hard against my hole. It feels wet enough to slide in, but it suddenly feels huge. Two fingers is one thing, but this is…

“Oh!”

I cry out involuntarily as I feel the first inch of Carter penetrate into me. I feel like I’m already full to the brim, but I have plenty more to go.

I catch my breath and push down a little farther, and this time my cry is echoed by Carter. It feels hot inside me, and the heat radiates out throught the lower half of my body.

I look down at Carter. His eyes are closed and his head is back. He’s feeling the same way I am, consumed by the incredible, intense feelings as I slowly lower onto him.

I push down again, and after another minute of so, I feel myself settle onto Carter’s hips. I squirm a little and can’t believe the explosion of feelings inside my body. I feel so amazingly, deliciously full. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. I can hardly breathe, I’m so overwhelmed.

I’m too stimulated to start moving up and down, so instead I slowly start to rock my hips back and forth, just a little bit at a time. The movement feels amazing, and it helps me adjust, at least a little bit, to the feeling of having seven inches of rock hard boy cock inside of me.

Carter sighs underneath me and puts a hand on my chest. I can tell immediately that it’s not to stop me. From the glazed expression on his face, it’s like he’s just trying to make contact with something, to bring himself back into this world.

As I get used to having Carter inside me, I increase the speed and intensity of my rhythm. I close my eyes and lean my head back, letting the unbelievable feelings wash over me. There’s an incredible pleasure radiating out from deep inside me, sending wave after wave of delight throughout my body.

Carter’s hands continue to move across my body, sliding down my chest and onto my hips and thighs, holding me and caressing me. His moans and sighs get louder and louder and I move my hips harder. I can tell he’s close.

I open my eyes and look down at him. He’s never looked sexier than this, with his flushed cheeks and his eyes closed. His breath is coming in ragged gasps, interspersed by sensual groans. He’s beyond the point of no return, and as I relish the control I have over his body right now, I know there’s only one more thing to do.

I want Carter to cum inside me.

I pick up my speed for one final push, and I don’t have to wait long. Within seconds, he tightens his grip on my waist and all the muscles in his body start to contract, as though they’re being sucked into the gravitational pull of his impending orgasm. I watch his chest, stomach, and arms tighten as he pushes himself up into me as hard as he can. But what I see, however, is nothing compared to what I feel.

His cock swells inside me as his body stiffens, and I feel him get bigger and bigger, filling me up even more. After what feels like forever, I feel him explode. He fills me up with his hot cum, and it burns with pleasure.

I launch over the edge only a second after he does, blasting the biggest load of my life onto his stomach and chest, almost onto his face. My ass convulses at least ten times around his throbbing cock as I shoot, milking every last drop out of him.

I stay on top of him without moving for at least a minute, catching my breath and enjoying the aftershock spasms of pleasure as they shoot through my body. That felt better than I could have imagined, beyond my wildest dreams.

And it was with Carter.

The boy of my dreams, the ungettable stud. And here he is underneath me, barely able to speak or breathe, consumed by the pleasure we shared together. He never would have done this if he wasn’t one hundred percent sure, I have no doubt.

I lean forward onto Carter and hug him tight against me. His arms encircle me as I do, pulling me even closer, then spreading out and gently stroking my back.

It’s different than the other times we’ve been together. It’s possessive and tender, like he never wants to let me go again. Encircled in his arms, it feels honest and right.

“Oh, Jacks,” Carter whispers against my ear, “I’ve never-”

I turn my head into him, interrupting him with a kiss.

“I love you too, Carter.”

I feel his lips curl into a smile and he pulls me closer in his embrace.

And I think…

Nothing.

My mind is quiet.

The usual cacophony of doubt, fear, excitement, and anxiety is gone. Wrapped up in Carter’s arms, I feel calm, sure, and safe. We’ve both let ourselves open to each other, and finally we’ve both been ready for it.

I take advantage of the silence in my head for once, and I try to savor the moment. The warmth of Carter’s body pressed against me. His heart beating hard against my chest. Lying here together, we have each other.

And for the first time, I actually believe it.

I have Carter.

He has me.

We have each other, and neither one of us is letting go.