Fleeting Eternity - 1. Coffee

Nate noticed the pair almost immediately. The woman and man came in from the wet and cool weather, and then they approached the counter of the coffee shop. All the while, Nate surreptitiously watched them.

"What do you want to eat, Tad?" The raven-haired woman gave her full attention to the man beside her. She motioned toward the menu. "Whatever you want. I'm buying."

"I'm not hungry," the fellow said and he wiped his hands on his jacket. He wore a knit cap pulled down so that it completely covered his hair. The dark blue of the headgear contrasted against his pale skin, and he shivered once as he stood there. "I just want coffee."

It was cold and rainy out, as was typical for the northern California coast in the winter. Though it was just past ten a.m., the gloomy sky meant the coffee shop was an oasis of warmth and light in an otherwise muted and gray world.

"Tad, that's not gonna cut it." Her tone gave Nate the impression that she was used to being obeyed. She patted his shoulder, then her voice softened until it was almost a plea. "Come on, pick something."

Tad sighed. "Fine, you win." He looked back up at the menu above the register. "I guess I'll take a bagel with cream cheese along with the coffee." The woman quickly gave the order to the friendly barista behind the worn, wooden counter.

Nate sipped his own latte and went back to his laptop. He was, by any measure, a science geek, and he was in the middle of an interesting article on the ecology of microbes which thrive in oil spills. Drinking coffee, reading, and lounging around the coffee shop were a part of the Saturday ritual for him. He knew most of the regulars on sight, and these two were interesting, simply because they were new to him.

A few minutes passed and the sound of chairs scraped on the wooden floor. That brought Nate's head up again. The couple chose a table nearby, and they had drinks in hand, along with bagels on colorful ceramic plates. The man, Tad, glanced at Nate, and their eyes met for a moment.

It was a fleeting thing, but Nate saw him straight on and took a breath. 'Whoa, you're cute.' Even with the cap the man still wore, Nate could see how handsome the fellow was. Nate gave Tad a little smile and a nod of his head.

The man nodded back, then he settled across from the woman accompanying him. Her back was to Nate, while Tad sat so that Nate could continue to see his face.

Nate forced his eyes down, back to his computer screen. 'They're probably a couple. They seem close.' Both were in their mid to late twenties, and she was easily as beautiful as her companion was handsome. Nate wasn't exactly a bad-looking guy himself. His very red hair, freckles, and deep blue eyes caught attention wherever he went, and he was a little disappointed that he'd not get to try his charms on this Tad fellow.

He tried to refocus on his computer.

"So. What's the plan, Tad?"

Nate was happy that he could overhear her, even though she spoke relatively quietly.

The man shrugged. "I'm still processing. I mean, I knew it'd be tough on him, but I guess I didn't expect him to leave." He took a shaky breath. "Now that I have had a chance to think about it, I don't know why I expected him to stay." Tad looked down at the coffee between his hands as it steamed. "I probably would have left too."

The woman made an indignant noise. "You would not! And I swear if I see that prick again …"

"Shhh," Tad glanced past her at Nate, and his gaze narrowed when their eyes met.

Nate bit his lip, and looked back down at his computer. 'Damn it. He caught me being nosy.'

Nate kept his eyes down, and Tad finally continued, "Well, I really don't need you fighting with Christopher, Miranda. I mean, he's hurting too. I'm worried about him."

"You're worried about him?!" Miranda shook her head and her long hair moved from the motion. "Tad, you have enough to worry about." She reached across the table and she lay a gentle hand on his. "I'm sorry he's gone, I liked him – a lot." She made a face. "I mean, I was even willing to help you guys out. But maybe it's for the best." She shook her head. "Though, I worry about you being in your apartment alone now."

Though he continued to look away, Nate listened intently to the conversation. 'He's gay, and his lover left him? Why is she so worried about Tad?' Nate frowned to himself. 'I wonder what happened.' He risked a glance up and admired the handsome face of Tad while he spoke to Miranda. 'This Christopher guy would have to be crazy to leave that!'

They leaned in, and their voices dropped to a near-whisper. Additionally, more people entered the place. Soon, their conversation was lost to Nate - just one set of voices among a dozen others.

Over the next half-hour, he continued to check on them periodically. Almost every time, Tad's eyes would move from Miranda's face to Nate's. Nate didn't precisely stare, but it was apparent to anybody paying attention that he at least had a passing interest in Miranda's and Tad's table.

Eventually, they finished their coffees and stood. "Tad," Miranda's voice was disappointed, "you didn't finish your food. You barely touched it."

The man shrugged into his coat, and he still wore his knit cap. The cap had never been removed, even though the temperature inside the cafe was comfortably warm. "Well, to be fair, I did tell you I wasn't hungry." Tad grinned at her. "Awww. Don't make that face." He embraced the woman and closed his eyes while they each held on. "Don't worry, sis. I'm going to take care of myself. I'll let you know if I need anything."

Nate got an impression of a quiet, pained dignity around everything Tad did. And now he knew how the pair were connected. 'Ah, his sister.' He felt a little stab of relief at that revelation. 'He's here commiserating about getting dumped with his sister.' Nate knew he shouldn't be glad, but there was happiness at knowing Tad was now a free man.

"You'd better." Miranda pushed back with a stern, yet loving look at her brother.

They carried their dishes and trash over to the garbage station. They cleared their plates, then the items went into the bins for the dirty dishware. Miranda led the way out of the cafe, past Nate's table, while Tad walked a short distance behind her.

They got to the door. Miranda exited, and Tad followed. Nate watched his back as he did. Then, Tad turned to look over his shoulder, and the men locked eyes.

This time Nate didn't look away. Instead, he stared back, and he smiled.

The faintest flicker of a tired, amused expression twitched on Tad's face, but it quickly disappeared. Then he turned, and left the cafe.

Nate watched the door for a while, lost in thought and imagination. Then, finally, he pushed his fantasies aside, and went back to learning about those oil-eating bacteria on his computer.

∞

Tad waved goodbye as his sister pulled away from the curb. It was still early, and it remained a cool, clammy day. He was bundled up against the chill, though he was still cold. He shivered as he walked up the steps to the portion of the home he rented in the little town of Eureka, California. His place was an old, renovated Victorian house, split up into four different apartments. His was up a short flight of stairs, on the first floor, while the upstairs apartments continued on up the stairwell.

He unlocked the door and entered. As he shut the door, a sleek, black cat padded down the hallway and greeted him with a loud, emphatic, "Mrrow!" She twined around his legs as he smiled fondly down at her.

"Oh, did you miss me, little miss Kali?" Tad peeled off his outer layer, and hung his coat beside the door. Then he scooped her up, and she immediately began to purr in his arms. He knew he only had a few moments to enjoy her this way. She wouldn't tolerate being held long. Tad petted and stroked her for as long as she would stand, then put her down. She continued to follow him into the house, meowing all the while, and he smirked. "Yes, I know what you want."

Tad got her small ceramic bowl, and he filled it half-way with kibble from a bag on top of the fridge. He and Christopher had already come home once to a hole torn through the side of the cat food bag when they first picked Kali up from the shelter. So, now, he stored the bag up high where she couldn't reach it.

Kali was still young - she was only a bit over a year old now. He and Christopher had picked her out together some months back. As he set the bowl on the floor next to the stove where she could reach it, he sighed as he thought about his ex-boyfriend.

"Sorry your other daddy left, Kali." He squatted next to her, and stroked her as she ate. Her back arched up into his touch as his hand slid over her, but she never stopped eating the kibble.

Tad had truly believed that Christopher was the one - his forever after. And he had been until everything changed a couple of months ago.

He could feel himself begin to spiral down into that rabbit hole of memory and pain. He set his jaw, and stood up. "No. Don't do this. Don't waste time this way." Tad looked at his computer which sat on a compact, gray wooden desk. Christopher had built it specifically for Tad to use for his art, and there were all sorts of little drawers and moveable wooden leaves he could set things upon. 'Do something you like. Do something that will help you to forget for a while.'

He walked over and sat at the desk. The computer was a recent gift from his sister, and it was near the top of the line when it came to the two-in-one laptop/tablets. It was an artist's dream. The machine boasted a sensitive and responsive stylus along with a fantastic touchscreen and a great drawing program. Tad had started drawing a comic a couple of years ago on a less sophisticated computer, and he had imported all of his work as soon as he got the new one.

Tad was creative, and he had found his outlet through drawing. At first, he never intended to share the work with anyone. It was simply something he did for his own amusement. Although he was normally quiet, Christopher was always so encouraging when he saw Tad's art.

He picked up the stylus, and started the computer. The screen came to life, and Tad twirled the stylus in his fingertips. He looked over the latest panels he had drawn, and smiled at the men depicted there. "Well, at least you guys are still together and happy." His smile slowly faded and he felt his throat tighten with emotion.

He hadn't allowed himself to mourn the loss of his relationship all that much. He had moments, but most of the time he kept those emotions bottled up. He felt they were a waste of his time, and that he really should focus on the good things which remained in his life.

It had been a couple of weeks since Christopher left. And Tad had only just let his sister know. She could be very protective, and he didn't want her to worry. Though the topic was Christopher, the trip to the coffee shop was still a nice distraction. Tad could pretend that he wasn't going through the biggest crisis of his life and that he was just having a normal day like everybody else. And the good-looking redhead who kept eyeing him at the coffee shop made Tad feel better about himself. Even if there was nothing that could come from that interaction, it still made him feel good. But now, these quiet moments were the times he couldn't ignore the loss.

Tad bit his lip and tears streaked down his face. He swallowed and shook his head. Then he laughed at himself, a sorrowful sound, and wiped the tears off of his cheeks. He made a little noise of surprise when a little black shape jumped up into his lap.

"Mrrrow!" Kali headbutted his chin, and he laughed. This time it was a real one.

"Oh, Kali." He put the stylus down and petted her with both hands. "I'm fine, baby." He scratched the insistent little feline and she purred in his lap.

He had long ago learned to work around a squirming, furry body. He positioned the computer on the desk, and one hand continued to stroke Kali, while the other picked up the stylus. "Okay. Let's see what kind of magic we can make."

∞

The apartment was a place Chris knew well, as he had spent the better part of two years there with Tad. He looked up at the window from the street, and at the light which burned behind the curtains. Now and again, he'd see Tad's shadow move past the window, back and forth as the man went about his life.

He worked his mouth and swallowed as he stared up. He'd been in his truck for the last half-hour, and though he knew it was odd, he couldn't quite help himself from spying. He had to at least check, and see Tad himself, even if it was from the street.

"I miss you, Tad," he whispered into the stillness of his vehicle. He shook his head slightly. "I'm sorry. I wish I could be what you need me to be, and I'm so sorry but I just can't." Chris sighed. Then he started the vehicle. He took one last look up at the window.

A little black cat appeared, and she looked directly down at the truck from her perch on the internal windowsill.

Christopher's face shifted, and he almost smiled. "Hi, monster. How's my little goddess of destruction?" He watched as Kali meowed. She was always very affectionate toward him, and he knew that she recognized the sound of his truck. "Ah, okay. I better go before Tad tries to figure out why you're crying."

Grudgingly, he put the automobile into gear. Christopher drove away from the only man he had ever loved, and the only place where he had ever truly felt at home.

∞

The week passed quickly for Nate. It was late January, and the bookstore had been surprisingly busy. He even got a bit of overtime, and he worked through the closing shift on Friday. Though now, it was Saturday morning, and he smiled to himself as he approached his favorite coffee shop in Old Town Eureka.

He entered the old brick building, and inhaled the scent of coffee, pastry, and chocolate. Then he walked up to the counter.

He stood there, patiently in line. He had arrived at the shop a bit later than was typical and that meant a line. 'As long as I can find a seat.' He looked around, and frowned slightly. The place was busy and most tables were full. Still, the shop was split by a wall and he could try his luck in the other room.

It was finally his turn at the counter and Nate gave his order to the barista. He paid, then walked over to stick his head into the adjoining room.

'Oh, well hello.' The very first thing Nate saw was that navy blue knit cap. That same man, Tad, sat at a table. This time he was alone, and it looked as if he were drawing or writing on a tablet - his hand held a stylus, and it moved in sure, precise strokes over the surface of the gadget.

"Latte and breakfast bagel for Nate!" He jerked when he heard his name, and turned toward the counter. Nate retrieved his drink and breakfast, then stepped back to the entrance of the other room. He looked at Tad who still worked on his tablet. Then he scanned the room. There were no free tables.

Nate bit his lip, then he shrugged. 'Well, fortune favors the bold.' He straightened his spine and strode confidently toward the solitary man.

He stopped a step away and cleared his throat. "Ah, excuse me? Would you mind sharing your table?"

Tad looked up at Nate, and a little moment of pleasant surprise brought a smile to Tad's face. "No, I don't mind." As Nate pulled out the chair, Tad stuck out his hand. "I'm Tad."

Nate grinned. He put down his drink, and then shook Tad's hand. "Nate. Nice to meet you." Now that he was able to get a better view of Tad, Nate felt a definite attraction to him. Tad's eyes were like dark pools, yet they caught the light in the room, and they seemed to be living things all on their own. His skin was as porcelain - pale and smooth, and there wasn't a single whisker anywhere to be seen. He had a narrow face and high cheekbones. He looked for all the world as if he had stepped off the pages of a magazine; one, perhaps, which tried to get the reader to purchase the ever-present knit cap on his head. Though that cap was a little out of place because Tad was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, while a jacket hung from the back of the chair.

Nate forced himself to release his hand and cleared his throat as he took his seat. "Ah, thanks for sharing." He looked around at the busy space. "I'm usually earlier. It's easier to find a spot when it's only eight in the morning."

Tad still wore the slight smile. "You're welcome, and I would imagine that's the case." Tad's dark eyes glanced over the room. "I got here at seven, so it was easy enough to get a table. I've not come here much." Then he turned his gaze back to Nate. "But the last time I did it was pleasant enough."

Nate wasn't quite sure if Tad was flirting with him or not. The way he said the words, and the expression on Tad's face made it hard for him to know. 'Time will tell.' Nate gave him a smile of his own. "Well, it's a nice spot. Good coffee. And they serve great breakfast bagels." Nate motioned at his own plate which had the bagel with egg and pepper jack cheese. "You ever had one?"

Tad looked passively at the bagel. "No. I can't say I have." He shrugged. "I guess I'm not a big breakfast guy."

"You're missing out." Nate nodded at the tablet that lay in front of Tad. "Sorry. I'll not keep you any longer from your work." He picked up his bagel and took a bite of the savory, chewy sandwich.

"Thanks, but it's not work. This is all pleasure." Tad picked up the tablet, and turned it so Nate could see. "It's just a little project I've been working on."

On the tablet were rectangular and square panels, like a comic book. And there were very detailed and lifelike scenes drawn in heavy strokes, and crosshatches of color. All but the final panel had art already. Nate swallowed his bite of food. “Whoa. That’s really good.” Before Tad moved it back in front of him, Nate realized that one of the men depicted looked a lot like Tad, and the guys in the scenes seemed close. He got the impression that they were a couple. He also noticed the page had a tab associated with it down below, and it was only the latest tab in what looked to be dozens.

“Thanks.” Tad smiled, a little shyness on his face. “It’s just something to pass the time.” He laughed, a touch embarrassed. “Ah, it’s sort of an idealized version of my own life.” He grimaced. "I guess that's sorta boring."

“No, I don't think so. I think it’s cool.” Nate grinned at him, and Tad smiled back, though there was a hint of sadness there too. 'I wonder what’s going on with you?’ Nate cleared his throat. “I’m gonna set up my computer. I think there should be plenty of room.”

Tad moved a few things and soon both men were absorbed in their own devices. Though Nate noticed Tad looking at him numerous times while the pale man worked on his art.

The third time their eyes met Tad smirked and shook his head. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm probably creeping you out by staring. But, ah ..." He sheepishly turned the pad around.

There was a line drawing of two mugs, and two men sitting at a little cafe table. Though detail was light, Nate could already see himself in one of the seated figures. He made a surprised sound, and grinned. "That's so cool." He looked from the tablet up to Tad's face. "And flattering, that you'd put me into your idealized world."

Tad chuckled, a bit uncomfortable. "Ah, yeah." He spun the tablet back to its position in front of himself. He was silent as he tried to find what he wanted to say. "I don't socialize much lately." He shrugged. "Sorry, I know this is weird."

Nate continued to smile. "Yeah, it is. But weird is interesting."

The corners of Tad's eyes crinkled as he laughed. "That's a pretty weird thing to say." He grinned at Nate.

"Seems like I fit right in then," Nate quipped and was gratified to hear Tad chuckle. Nate bit his lip and leaned forward. "Hey, so, I know this is probably a little forward of me but I wondered if maybe you'd like to get dinner sometime?"

Tad's eyebrows went up and he couldn't seem to help the pleased expression on his face. "Ah, it is forward." He nodded as he thought. "But life really is too short for anything else." He drummed his fingertips on the table. "Just so you're aware, I'm not really looking for anything more than friends." He looked intently at Nate. "If that works for you, then, yeah. I'd love to go to dinner with you."

Nate grinned. "Sounds fine." He frowned in thought. "What day works for you? And where would you like to go?"

Tad shook his head. "Uh-uh. You asked me. So you pick where we go." His expression turned thoughtful. "As for when, let me check my calendar for dates." He closed his eyes and put his hands on his head. It was only for a few seconds, then he grinned and opened his eyes. "I work remotely as a contractor. So I can be free, pretty much any time."

Nate snorted and narrowed his eyes in a mock critique of Tad. "You're going to be an interesting date." He made a face. "Ah, I mean, as a purely platonic friendly dinner engagement, of course."

Tad smirked and eyed Nate. "Of course." He pulled out his phone, unlocked it, and slid it across the table. "Here. Enter your number for me if you'd like me to have it. And then give me some choices for dinner. I guess we can decide together."

Nate took out his phone and the guys exchanged contact information.

"Do you like pho?" Nate took his phone from Tad as he handed it over. "We can get bowls of the stuff for cheap at the place on 4th street on the way out of town." Nate felt as if he were making a confession. "I ah, I don't earn much so I have to spend carefully. But it's great food."

"I know the place. I like it." Tad smiled. "Yeah, that works for me. What is your schedule like the rest of the weekend and next week?"

"Hrmm. Well, I'm off Wednesday. Do you maybe want to go on Tuesday night? I get off work at five that day, so anytime after five-thirty or so works." Nate looked hopefully at Tad.

Tad nodded. "Yeah, that'll be fine."

"Cool." Nate smiled. "If you like, I can pick you up. You live in Eureka?"

"I do, and yeah, that'd be great. I live on the corner of Hillsdale and E street. If you pull up to the curb there I'll see you and come out."

Nate grinned. "All right. Sounds perfect. I drive a little beat up red Civic."

Tad smiled back. "Okay. Then a purely platonic friendly dinner engagement it is." He smirked at Nate.

Nate laughed. "Of course."

The guys shared the table for another half-hour or so. Then Tad began to pack up his things. "Sorry, I've gotta get home. Our cat," Tad blinked. "Uh, my cat will be upset if I'm gone too long." He seemed embarrassed by the slip.

Nate noticed but pretended not to hear it. "Okay." Nate watched as Tad put his things into his bag. "I'm looking forward to Tuesday."

Tad clipped his bag shut, and he put on his coat. "Yeah." He shouldered the bag and nodded down at Nate. "Yeah, me too." He turned toward the exit. "See you later, Nate."

Nate nodded and he waved as Tad walked into the other room of the shop, and out of sight. He sat in thought and let his hopes and dreams swirl. Then he shook his head, and tried to lose himself in the many distractions of the internet.