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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Sidewinder - 5. Chapter 5 Straight Shootin'

Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

                                                                                                                                                                                   *****

Straight Shootin'

 

 

Boone blew out a long breath as they walked away from the Sheriff Willard’s office, chuckling when Coy did the same. Neither spoke as they hopped off the boardwalk and approached their horses. A few townsfolk were eyeing them curiously, as they would anyone seen coming from the jail. Not much got past the residents of Red Bluff. Boone returned the gunny sack to one of Coy’s saddlebags, and then quickly mounted his own red-roan Appaloosa.

Coy was on his mare just as fast. “Let’s get the heck out of here,” he muttered, reining Mouse out into the street.

“What about supplies?”

“Got enough for a few days, I reckon, and I’m sweating worse than a team of stagecoach horses. Don’t feel like getting stared at any longer than I have to.”

“Don’t care for it either... suspect word will travel fast,” Boone said as he noticed more turned heads. “Sheriff’s place is this way.”

There was no more conversation as they rode past the town buildings and headed up a small rise to the west. The house, off by itself, was stick-built like all the other buildings in town, with a good-sized fenced field behind it. The familiar horses could be seen from a distance away, and of course Blue’s big, white ears stood out like a fox trying to hide in a chicken coop.

The lawman sure had a good view of the town from his front door, and Boone figured it was why he didn’t miss much. He had clear sights on anyone coming or going, from either end. The house was small, but looked cared for, with an old rocking chair and two others sitting on the covered front porch. They rode past it, and the well, on the way to the back paddock. A small barn inside the fence, with doors open at both ends, provided good shade for the animals, and the water trough near the gate was mostly full.

“I was worried he was going to throw you in jail.”

Boone gave a nod, followed by a relieved snort as he dismounted. “He weren’t too happy I took my time coming in… but I think he understood my reasons.”

“I don’t know the law the way he does, but I sure wasn’t expecting anything like what happened back there. I reckon he tried to trap us with asking if we found the gold in Will’s tent afore he told us he’d already gone through it… and he searched ours to boot!”

“Yep, he’s a cagey one… but we should be glad he went in ours. That ways, he saw no reason to think we could be lying.”

“Maybe so, but I was plenty scared at the way he stared at us. I’m still shook up, truth be told, and I’m not sure about the gold. It feels like some kind of trap.” Coy leaned back and swung his right leg over the saddle horn in one of those typically agile moves he made look easy. Sliding to the ground, he was already facing Boone, and his distress was plain to see.

Turning his brother in had surely been hard on him, dead or not, and Boone tried to give his friend ease. “It’s not a trap, Coy, and I’m as sure of that as anything. Sheriff Willard said it’s what Wes and Lee would want, and I believe he’s seeing it right—after I thought about it some—and that’s why he told us to take it. He’s got three killings solved so there’s nothing more to be gained, and he’s a man who has things figured out in advance.”

“What do you mean? He didn’t even know we were coming.”

“Maybe… maybe not, but he’s quick to see the truth of things, and he sure as heck knew we had something to tell before we even got there… you heard him yourself. We’re good folk, and he knew that too.”

“But he hardly knows us at all! My brother was a troublemaker every time he went to town… and a lowdown, back-shooting murderer to boot.”

Boone felt bad for the pain in Coy’s voice. “But he trusted Wes and Lee’s opinion of us, and you are not Will, not by a long shot, and he can tell that with his own eyes. Heck, anyone can tell that. He’s seen you around enough, and he don’t miss much. You did the right thing.”

“Only because you talked me into it.”

“Not true at all. It was your decision, if you recall. I left it to you to turn around and go back to camp.”

“Only since you knew I couldn’t do that.”

“Yep.”

Coy frowned, but it cleared quickly, and Boone saw a small twitch in one corner of his mouth. “So, you’re really fine with taking the gold they got shot dead for?”

Boone took a few seconds to wrap Daisy’s reins around the hitching post before answering. “I understand it’s hard to feel right about taking the gold… it is for me too, but what Sheriff Willard said made a lot of sense. It’s not tainted gold… it’s just gold. Will ruined a lot of things, hurt a lot of people, but that gold he stole was mined over years by hardworking, decent men who were our friends… the sheriff’s too… and I feel like they were the ones to decide who gets it. He was just their messenger.

“So, yep, I’m okay with it. I’d have been okay with leaving it right there on the desk too, but the sheriff didn’t see it that way. I don’t know, but maybe he saw it as improper for a lawman to keep the gold, even if they were his friends. We never stole it, Coy. It was given to us by a man who knew Wes and Lee even better than we did. And we need to honor those two.”

Coy sighed, and it was tough to tell the reason for it.

“What are you thinking?”

“Ah… mostly about my brother shooting another old man in the back. He wasn’t just a killer… he was a coward.”

Boone nodded, understanding the weight his friend was feeling. “You ain’t responsible for what he done. Only Will is, and he reaped what he sowed in the end. He’s not spending that trading post fellow’s money, and he’s got no chance to drink away our friends’ life savings. At least some good won out.”

“Not for Dan, it didn’t. Sounds like he talked to Wes and Lee a lot about you. About his caring for you.”

“I suspect he did.” He waited to see what else Coy would say, but the man turned away and wrapped Mouse’s reins next to Daisy’s.

“I’ll get the mare, and you can get Blue, seeing as how he likes you.” He turned his head back Boone’s way and smiled for the first time since they’d rode out of camp.

“Well, he does. We have an understanding ever since I rode him up the high trail.”

“You really think so?” Coy’s smile grew a little bit bigger. “I guess we’ll see about that.”

 

It took them a frustrating amount of time and a lot of circling before they could lead Blue away from his old pal. Boone figured he was feeling the loss of his owners and wasn’t liking all the changes. He was patient as he coaxed the animal farther and farther from the pen. What made it tougher, though, was Coy’s amusement… even though he truly enjoyed seeing him in better spirits. The laughing man’s presence behind the mule ended up serving no purpose. Blue moved when he wanted to, and didn’t care who was prodding him. The day was blistering hot, and Boone was about ready to give it a rest when the mule suddenly decided to cooperate. He up and followed Boone’s horse with ears forward while Coy led Lee’s mare.

“Looks like he’s made his choice. Probably cottoned on to us going back to camp. Still think he likes you?” Coy asked with a smirk.

“Not as much as he cares for the paint. He’s not used to so much change, but he knows he’s ours now.”

“Yours, and does he?”

“Sure hope so.” Boone smiled and then laughed. “To tell you the truth, I enjoyed that. I like working with animals.”

Coy nodded thoughtfully. “Better than panning, right?”

Boone held back a groan. Looked like the conversation he’d been dreading was going to happen. “I’m done with panning, Coy.”

“I know.”

“It’s not to do with the sheriff’s advice. My decision was already made.”

“I figured, but I thought Will’s death might change the set of your mind.”

“This isn’t about Will, not anymore.”

“Dan?”

“Not him either, but… there are possibilities out there for someone like me, at least I got to hope there are.”

“Possibilities,” Coy muttered. “So your plans, they don’t include me… do they?”

“I don’t see how they can. For one thing, I want to farm, and you don’t.”

“I like farming.”

“No you don’t.”

“Sure I do. We could go back to my ma’s place. I guess it’s all mine now. We could get it going again.”

“Coy… that land is useless. It’s too dry there, and the land is worn out, and more of the dirt blows away every year. I don’t think anyone could make that farm work… not for very long, and I doubt you could find someone who’d pay you any money for it. All those farms around there were deserted long ago… and you couldn’t wait to leave after your ma was gone.”

“Another place then. We have enough gold to buy a couple of farms.”

“And that’s what we should do. Each of us buy the place we want.”

“Separate like?”

Boone nodded, his stomach dropping at the admittance. “We want different things… and you’ll always be the best friend I could have….”

“But you want someone made like you… someone who has it all figured out.”

“I get lonely, Coy. Don’t you get lonely?”

“No!” he answered strong enough it startled Boone, but then he softened his voice. “I don’t get to feeling lonely because I’ve always had you.”

“Don’t you want something more? Something more than going to Miss Patty’s.”

“Miss Patty’s? What’d you bring that place up for? I only went to Miss Patty’s two times, and only because Will drug me there.”

“But you partook, because that’s how you’re made. There’s no Miss Patty’s for someone like me.”

“No, I suppose there isn’t, but you can’t say how I’m made, Boone. I kissed you, didn’t I?”

“And then broke my nose and ran off, not once looking me in the eye for days and days.”

“I told you—”

“Don’t. You can’t be something you’re not… Lord knows I understand that. Somewhere, there’s a pretty girl waiting for you. You got the means to build a life that isn’t grimy and harsh… and you deserve something better.”

“There you go planning my life out for me.”

“Sorry… you’re a growed man, and a good one. Do whatever you want. I got to do what’s right for me, and it ain’t got nothing to do with gold, broken nose, or Will.”

“Or Dan?”

Why was he bringing Dan up so much? Boone sighed to himself. “No, not Dan either. You heard the sheriff. Dan had the fever, and I’m done with this life.”

“So what are you fixing to do?”

“I reckon I’m going to Larkspur, and I’m going to look for a piece of land that makes me feel like I’m home.”

“Larkspur? Where’s Larkspur, and what do you know about a place I ain’t never heard of?”

Boone felt the slap of the disappointment that rode across Coy’s face, but pushed ahead and told him what he’d heard while waiting for supplies. He was relieved to finally say his plans out loud. Coy’s expression became unreadable, but he listened until Boone finished talking.

“Snow?”

“Yep, snow. I don’t know how much or how often, but winter isn’t like around here. The land’s higher up, and there’s plenty of water, what with rivers, lakes, and streams… and… and springs that bubble up out of the land. I at the least have to go see for myself. It’ll be hard work to clear land, and I can’t say I’ve done much of it, but I’m willing to give it a try.”

“Four weeks or more of solid riding… all by yourself, and you don’t want me to come with you? That must be, what? Nine hundred miles?”

“The man talking said it was maybe twelve hundred.”

“Twelve hundred miles? You can’t do that in a month!”

“I said about a month.”

“Still, that’s about forty miles a day through territory you don’t know.”

“I’m not going to push too hard, Coy, but I reckon if the going’s good I can do thirty-five if I ride from sunup to sundown. You know Daisy’s got good stamina.”

“That’s still a lot in a day, and she isn’t as fit as she was when she was working cattle.”

“I know, and if I have to slow up, I will. It’ll take as long as it takes.”

“What if something happens? You’ll be out there alone, and you know traveling can be dangerous.”

“I’ll be fine. Don’t imagine there’s too much to worry about so far north of the railroad, but the town’s big enough to have a bank, and that means a telegraph line most likely, and probably a stagecoach. We can keep in touch, and if you ever need me—”

“That’s a mite farther than a ride to Red Bluff,” Coy said with clear bitterness.

“It is, but that’s what I want. I never want to put up with dust again. Don’t like the feel of it, or the taste of it. What about you? You staying put?”

Coy made a scoffing sound. “Nothing for me here. Got no desire to pan anymore.”

“You sure?”

“Yep. Wouldn’t have said it if’n I wasn’t. I don’t have the fever either, and I knew it the first year we were here. Only reason I mined was because we was both doing it. I… I really believed you and me was going to buy a place together, like we always said.”

“So did I.”

“But now you don’t want to.”

“It’s not I don’t want to, but if we do that, I’m still going to be lonely.”

“I’ll make sure you’re not, Boone, I—”

“Coy, don’t! Let’s not do this again. No sense tying each other down… I know you don’t understand that, but I haven’t been of a good mind for a long time. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to go up like a stick of dynamite, and other times I feel so hopeless I don’t even want to get out of my bedroll, and I have to think some before I can recollect what I did the day before… cause they’re all the same.”

Coy’s eyebrows rose for a few seconds, and his head moved back as if he’d been slapped. “First I’m hearing this. Why didn’t you say something?”

“Weren’t no one’s concern but mine.”

Coy opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out before he closed it again, but Boone saw the hurt his words had caused before his friend turned away, clucking Mouse and Lee’s mare forward. They were soon loping well ahead of him, and he let the full weight of his guilt settle.

He shouldn’t have snapped at him that way… or gone as far in speaking his thoughts. Boone understood why Coy thought he was deserting him, because it kind of felt that way to him too. He continued walking to give his friend some time and space, miserable as hell, but relieved it was done.

Blue, though, up and decided he didn’t like being left behind and tried to bolt. Boone had a bit of a fight on his hands before the mule eventually unpinned his ears and eased up. “We got us some traveling to do, you old cuss, so you better start listening to me.” Blue had to get used to not having his friend around, and so did he.

As he got back to camp, he took a good look around. The horses were hobbled, but Coy was nowhere to be seen. He took care of his own stock and checked the tent before walking down to the river. Coy had said he was done panning, but Boone checked the shorelines anyway. Knowing the man had gone off to deal with the hurt he’d dealt him, Boone busied himself around camp, building a fire and putting together a stew of soaked pinto beans, crumbled dried beef, salt pork, fresh cattail roots, the last of their carrots, and a few wild leeks. He hung his trusty Dutch oven on the spit, well above the flames, before taking a walk, wondering if he should search out his friend.

He ended up back at the river, and peered across. His gut was telling him Coy would be sitting up there on the ridge, where the breeze was stronger, and the sounds of the river less. Hesitating, he looked back around camp, uncertain of whether to give the man his space.

A few minutes later he removed his boots and socks and waded across. Putting them back on, he worked his way through the brush while keeping an eye out for snakes in the loose rocky soil. When he broke through, he looked up to see Coy sitting against the tree that Will’s hidey hole had been under. His eyes were closed, but Boone was certain he’d heard his approach.

Once he got close enough, he spoke. “I got some supper on… the bean stew you like.”

The man’s eyes remained closed. “And he took the bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them saying, ‘This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance for me.’”

“What?”

Coy sighed, but kept his eyes closed. “Luke twenty-two, verse nineteen. My ma used to say it when we sat down to eat before one of us went off somewhere for a time… it’s about The Last Supper.”

“Oh, right. I could never keep all those sermons straight, but I think I remember that one.”

“They weren’t sermons, Boone, they were prayers. Ma said prayers the whole day long.”

“Sorry… that’s what I meant. You up here thinking about her?”

“Thinking about my family… about being the last Diamond still drawing breath.”

“I’m sorry, Coy.”

“Stop saying that!” His eyes finally opened, and the pain in them made Boone stop all movement. “Sorry don’t mean nothing. Everyone I’ve ever cared about is gone. My pa, Ethan, Duke and Ben, Ma, Will….”

“And now me?”

“Yes,” he whispered fiercely. “And you… you’re going your own way, and I’ve got to… I got some figuring to do.”

“I’m sor”—Boone caught himself—“anything I can do to help? We can talk about it, if’n—”

“No! No, I’ll do my figuring at the old farm.”

“You’re going back there? You going to try to farm it again after what we talked about earlier?”

“I need someplace to go, don’t I? I grew up there… you might think it’s a worthless piece of land, but my pa had a successful farm before he died.”

“I didn’t say it was worthless.”

“You said the land was useless.”

“Because the land has eroded from all the dust storms, and the floods, and there’s not a lot of water for most of the year, but that’s stuff you already know and we’ve already talked about.”

“Same thing as worthless, isn’t it?” he asked stubbornly.

“You’re right, and I shouldn’t have said it. I just don’t want—”

“Yep, I know… you’re looking after me cause it’s what you do. Stop worrying for me, Boone. Maybe I’ll just visit the family graves… tell them what happened to Will and where he’s buried, and then move on. Place is likely falling down now anyways.”

He looked so defeated, Boone wished he could take him in his arms and hold him. “If… maybe… if’n you want to come with me to Larkspur, we could….”

Cot sat up straighter. “You saying you’d still want us to get some land together?”

“Well, I’m thinking we could get land closer to one another… like we talked about, if you really want to farm? It’d be a mite easier to stay in touch.”

“Oh… I see… closer, but you don’t want to farm with me. I ain’t no dog you can throw a bone to. Don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity.”

“Isn’t it? I can look after myself, and you’ve already said I’ve been standing in your way, so I got no intention of doing so any longer.”

“I know you can look after yourself. And you ain’t been standing in my way. I just meant—”

“I know what you meant... you were pretty clear on not tying each other down." Coy took in a deep breath before blowing it out. When he spoke again, much of the raw emotion was gone from his voice. "You've been looking out for me a long time, but you can stop now. Just… could you leave me be? I want to sit here by myself a spell.”

Boone could have kicked his own rear for getting his friend’s hopes up just now… and for saying what he did about the Diamond farm. He’d sure done enough putting his foot in his mouth for one day. “Sure… I understand. Supper will be ready soon.” He waited for a response, but there was none. Coy’s eyes were closed again. Feeling as lost as Coy appeared to be, he turned and walked away, growing regret making him question everything he was doing.

  

*

Thanks for reading this story. Please share your thoughts, good or bad, long or short, or just an emoji. Comments and acknowledgements keep me motivated. :)  As well, thank you to my editor, Timothy M., for his hard work.
Copyright © 2020 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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2 hours ago, Dodger said:

I feel for both men in different ways. Five years is a long time, especially back then. They probably didn't live anywhere near as long as we do nowadays. I know they're both young, but Boone is right to think of himself. He can't afford to lose another five years treading water. Maybe Coy will be able to understand his feelings. It would have been difficult to get advice in those days without counsellors, television shows, movies, magazines, and the internet.

Damn, I just reread this one, and I forgot how sad it was. I'm with you... I feel for both of them too, and I certainly don't blame Boone for wanting his own life... some real happiness if he can find it. The saddest thing is, Coy probably needs Boone right now more than he ever did. He's grieving for a family lost, and bearing the brunt of his brother's evil ways. 

But, as you say, five years is a long time to put your life on hold for someone who doesn't return your love. Good point about no means to get advice in those days. The sheriff gave them some, but neither Boone nor Coy has any family, or even friends, now that Wes, Lee, and Dan are gone. Going separate ways is going to be hard for both of them.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Dodger. Cheers! :hug: 

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On 10/13/2020 at 3:30 AM, Headstall said:

Sorry... not sorry. I love to hear when reader's are moved to strong emotions by something I've written. :hug: What Boone said just poured out, and the last thing he wants to do is hurt Coy. So many times we blurt things out we don't mean to put into the light, and only realize after the effect it has... but Boone is hurting too, maybe even more than his friend. I understand there has been some tough going so far... but there is nothing wrong with hoping. :)  Side by side farms could work, but only if that is something they really want. We shall see. 

Thanks for sharing how this chapter made you feel. It means a lot, David. I, for one, enjoy a good cry at times... and it's nice to know I'm not the only one who cried over this chapter. :)  Cheers... Gary.... 

If they do end up with side by side farms, Boone's lover will have to be very strong and accepting.  I hope Boone and Coy realise they are more than best friend, so it doesn't come to that.

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8 hours ago, raven1 said:

If they do end up with side by side farms, Boone's lover will have to be very strong and accepting.  I hope Boone and Coy realise they are more than best friend, so it doesn't come to that.

All I can say is there's a long way to go yet in this story. Right now, both mena re unsure what lies ahead, but Boone has been waiting around for five years, and he can't anymore. Coy spent most of those five years being wary of his brother while relying on Boone, and now he is feeling lost. it's a sad situation. :(  Thanks, buddy... Cheers! G. :hug: 

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This is one of my favorite chapters. It is a great example of how you breath life into charters and make they feels so real in very way. Each one has his own mannerism and way of speaking. Perfectly painted with the colors of life! This is what I mean by Gary magic and as far as I can see it is real!

Thanks so much for this wonderful Chapter:thankyou::2thumbs:💖

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18 hours ago, Albert1434 said:

This is one of my favorite chapters. It is a great example of how you breath life into charters and make they feels so real in very way. Each one has his own mannerism and way of speaking. Perfectly painted with the colors of life! This is what I mean by Gary magic and as far as I can see it is real!

Thanks so much for this wonderful Chapter:thankyou::2thumbs:💖

Thanks, Albert! I just reread this, and was so easily drawn back into the story. Your words are very kind, and I love hearing how real these men are to you. You make me believe in Gary magic, just a little bit. :) Cheers, my friend. :hug: 

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26 minutes ago, astone2292 said:

C'mon, Coy! Good to see him standing up to Boone, but share your feelings bud. 

Boone... I'm starting to get disappointed in you. In the West, it's good to travel together. Alone, you can wind up dead quick. 

Binge, binge! Go, go, go!

This, my friend, was a tough chapter to write. It was very much like a breakup scene, drawn out... and the timing is terrible for both men, but especially Coy. Still, what choice does Boone have. He put his friend first for five long years, and unrequited love is a bitch.

You're right about the danger in going alone, but that is the spirit of people in the Old West. :) Nothing was easy back then. 

Hope you are enjoying yourself, Aaron, because I am as I read along with you... cheers! :hug: 

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Well, a lot of my own thoughts from the last chapter were resolved with this one. :P So... 

I wouldn't understand, glad I don't really, what Coy is actually going through.

It is also no small feat back then to pack up and leave, it takes timing, planning, and a lot of good health along the way. 

I also realized that the western aspect was a bit lost on me. I slighted the three guys shot in the back. That was just something you didn't do, you faced your foes head on, there was honor in that. It struck me about midway through reading this chapter, what a terrible act that would have been. It should have been more clearer to me, but that is my lack of awareness with the genre... not the writing. The writing has been really good.

I do understand Coy's reluctance to be alone. I understand Boone's stubbornness to want space. The conflict with those counter weights of thought was bound to happen once brought to light. I don't think either of them are listening to the other though and they're beginning to talk in circles, I hope it frustrates them as much as it is starting to frustrate me. (I would say, in a good way, but in future, if that keeps your regular readers from the torturous plotting, I'll not say it). 

Edited by Krista
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18 minutes ago, Krista said:

Well, a lot of my own thoughts from the last chapter were resolved with this one. :P So... 

I wouldn't understand, glad I don't really, what Coy is actually going through.

It is also no small feat back then to pack up and leave, it takes timing, planning, and a lot of good health along the way. 

I also realized that the western aspect was a bit lost on me. I slighted the three guys shot in the back. That was just something you didn't do, you faced your foes head on, there was honor in that. It struck me about midway through reading this chapter, what a terrible act that would have been. It should have been more clearer to me, but that is my lack of awareness with the genre... not the writing. The writing has been really good.

I do understand Coy's reluctance to be alone. I understand Boone's stubbornness to want space. The conflict with those counter weights of thought was bound to happen once brought to light. I don't think either of them are listening to the other though and they're beginning to talk in circles, I hope it frustrates them as much as it is starting to frustrate me. (I would say, in a good way, but in future, if that keeps your regular readers from the torturous plotting, I'll not say it). 

Writing this chapter kind of broke my heart. These two men care so much for one another, and it is just so sad they are ending up like this. I understand both men... I know that unbelievable pain of unrequited love, and I also know how much Coy has come to rely on Boone. It has to be a real shock to his system to suddenly have no one. 

Absolutely, what Will did shooting those men in the back shows his disregard for the sanctity of human life. He really was a monster... a frontier monster, taking advantage of good and decent folk. It was fitting Dan shot him in the back as he turned away, thinking Dan was already finished. I thought that a poetic kind of end for him.

I appreciate your kind words about the writing, and I really do understand the genre is unusual fare in this day and age. I tried to be authentic to the time and the places, and although there is a romantic aspect to the idea of the Old West, it was not as was depicted in movies and TV shows. However, I wanted to imbue this story with just a bit of that feel for those who were reared on the stuff.

I'm happy you understand these guys, and I get the frustration. I want readers to feel that frustration as they do... they are in the process of seperating for the first time in five years, and that is a painful situation. 

Torturous plotting? Lol. I always say readers can bring it on! I can hide till the worst is over. :P  

Thanks again, Krista. There is stuff coming farther in that might make you want to strap yourself in... bumpy ride ahead. Cheers! G. :hug: 

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Blue may be stubborn that mule isn't the only one.  Both Coy and Boone have a lot to say, but leave too many things unsaid.  Both these guys will leave each other with a heavy heart.  Both have regrets. I understand Coy wanting to go back to his family farm, but that is a fruitless endeavor that will leave him alone living in the past.  Boone's idea of starting again in Larkspur has better chances of success, but can he forget Coy and find someone else?  Boone has already made a strong bond to Coy that will not be easily broken.  

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3 hours ago, raven1 said:

Blue may be stubborn that mule isn't the only one.  Both Coy and Boone have a lot to say, but leave too many things unsaid.  Both these guys will leave each other with a heavy heart.  Both have regrets. I understand Coy wanting to go back to his family farm, but that is a fruitless endeavor that will leave him alone living in the past.  Boone's idea of starting again in Larkspur has better chances of success, but can he forget Coy and find someone else?  Boone has already made a strong bond to Coy that will not be easily broken.  

I just reread this, and felt the pain of both men. Stubborn? Sure, but pride was something a man had to have in those times, in my opinion. Boone is struggling to find some after five years of longing... and he also wants to find a real home. As far as Coy, he knows Boone is right about the farm, but he needs a destination, and for the moment he feels lost. It's a difficult situation for both of them, and probably one of the first or few honest talks they've been able to have since Will got killed. Both men are raw, and both were vulnerable... seeing this as an end to their friendship. We are seeing those last gasps... and some definite desperation. So... stubborn? I don't think that is the word I would use for these men at this time. You're right about their bond, but they are not on the same page, and something has to give. :(  :hug: 

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This is in fact a powerful chapter, so much blood in the dust, a heart lay bare, I am going to tell the truth here, I am more than a little bit mad at Boone. For talking to Coy like he did, they had been friends for so long. I think things could be different once both were out of this hell hole. And Coy hints that he could be what Boone wants him to be, but Boone is a hard man in some ways and not open to change or he has little faith that things could be different!

Edited by Albert1434
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4 hours ago, Albert1434 said:

This is in fact a powerful chapter, so much blood in the dust, a heart lay bare, I am going to tell the truth here, I am more than a little bit mad at Boone. For talking to Coy like he did, they had been friends for so long. I think things could be different once both were out of this hell hole. And Coy hints that he could be what Boone wants him to be, but Boone is a hard man in some ways and not open to change or he has little faith that things could be different!

I agree that Boone didn't listen or possibly believe Coy's hints.  He kind of treats Coy like a younger brother who Boone feels is saying things out of fear and not what Coy really wants.  Boone wants Coy, but feels it is in Coy's best interest to send him off to experience independence away from his dependance on Boone.  I think you got it right when you said Boone has little faith that things could be different with Coy.  Boone has 5 years of experiences that would reenforce this kind of thinking. 

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17 hours ago, Albert1434 said:

This is in fact a powerful chapter, so much blood in the dust, a heart lay bare, I am going to tell the truth here, I am more than a little bit mad at Boone. For talking to Coy like he did, they had been friends for so long. I think things could be different once both were out of this hell hole. And Coy hints that he could be what Boone wants him to be, but Boone is a hard man in some ways and not open to change or he has little faith that things could be different!

Have you ever been hurt so much that you push people away, rather than expose your heart again? I think this is where Boone is at. We see him floundering over whether he is making the right choice, but once on a road, it can be hard to leave it. I understand your feelings for Boone right now... he's said too much and he's said it harshly. Not out of meanness, but out of past experience. In all fairness, Coy let him down with that punch... he was a participant in that kiss, and then did an about face. I might not let myself get over that either. My point is, both men are hurting, and so are the readers. :hug: 

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12 hours ago, raven1 said:

I agree that Boone didn't listen or possibly believe Coy's hints.  He kind of treats Coy like a younger brother who Boone feels is saying things out of fear and not what Coy really wants.  Boone wants Coy, but feels it is in Coy's best interest to send him off to experience independence away from his dependance on Boone.  I think you got it right when you said Boone has little faith that things could be different with Coy.  Boone has 5 years of experiences that would reenforce this kind of thinking. 

Yup. You are both seeing it right. There is an uncertainty between them that has been magnified since Will's death. It isn't going to get any easier, and I think they each feel that. The die is cast... and what will be will be... maybe distance is exactly what is needed. :(  :hug: 

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32 minutes ago, Albert1434 said:

Well this is so ironic

What if something happens? You’ll be out there alone, and you know traveling can be dangerous.”

I tell ya I just love this story!

Lol... yeah... it is kind of. This was a brutal chapter to write, and it rattled a lot of readers. I think this passage sums up where Boone is at... and the depth of despair he's been fighting...

“Coy, don’t! Let’s not do this again. No sense tying each other down… I know you don’t understand that, but I haven’t been of a good mind for a long time. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to go up like a stick of dynamite, and other times I feel so hopeless I don’t even want to get out of my bedroll, and I have to think some before I can recollect what I did the day before… cause they’re all the same.”

Thanks, buddy! :hug: 

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