Incandescence - 9. More Obstacles

The dukes had dispersed at last, thankfully. We’d been in the war room so long, I felt like I may never see the outside world again. We’d relaxed as a group. I sat on the arm of Talon’s chair. His hand had wiggled under my clothes and he rubbed circles gently on my hipbone. Hanja stood behind Tyren, who was still seated. Loren had thrown his leg over the arm of his chair, reclining at an awkward angle. Finally, Wren was stretched sideways across Eon’s lap, legs hanging off their seat as he played with his claws. We’d come back to our timeline, or lack thereof. We did not seem to be making much progress on any topic that was brought up and it was starting to make me sweat. Panic spiked a little and Talon made longer strokes against my hip, soothing over the connection as well.

“Travel time, information gathering, and remaining covert. It could take most of the month.” Loren shrugged, arms crossing over his chest.

“That would be cutting it pretty close.” I frowned at him and Loren shrugged again.

Eon’s palm rested on Wren’s stomach now, and claws lightly traced over his fingers as he sighed, “The time frame is…uncomfortable.”

“While I hate to add to our pile of issues, we may have another problem.” Lyrah said, sighing, “Dleth expects us to return in two weeks’ time. Per Sumerion’s ridiculous request. Tyren also told me earlier today that Illiath has demanded we sit down for peace talks. Now that Suman’s shared his knowledge with us, there’s a good chance this is a trap or at least a distraction.”

She brushed her bangs out of her face, “My point is, they are expecting us to respond a certain way. If we fail to do so, it may tip them off.”

Eon frowned as he rubbed his jaw. Wren bared his fangs when it took the fingers he’d been playing with away. Eon’s other arm was wrapped behind Wren to balance him while he perched on the chair. Wren’s face smoothed out and was then serious as his partner sighed, “We could push them to attack earlier. In that case, we’d have no warning.”

Rah nodded, crossing one leg over the other as she steepled her fingers in front of her chest, “I am new to all of this, but we seem to have the element of surprise thanks to Suman. It would be a shame if we squandered one of the only advantages we have.”

Suman finally spoke, face troubled, “That would mean I would have to go to Dleth. Who would go with Loren?”

“Me.” Wren shrugged. Eon frowned down at him. His brow furrowed. I could practically see Eon’s brain working overtime to find an excuse as to why the country’s top spy couldn’t go on an espionage mission. He struggled for a moment, but ultimately kept his mouth shut.

“With Wren’s speed and resources, it would go much faster.” Tyren offered. His eyes were slightly hooded as Hanja absentmindedly stroked his fingers over the nape of his neck. I was still so surprised at the healer’s open displays of affection. Something in their dynamic had changed and I was relieved to see it.

“Well, that’s decided. Now onto the next horrendous obstacle facing us.” Loren said as he stared up at the ceiling, head propped up on his hand. His fingers were curled in his own hair and his constant touching over our time here had made the strands unruly.

“Obviously, Suman and I will go to Dleth. Kalian, I think you or Talon should come with. Sumerion seems to be looser lipped with one of you present. For different reasons. Maybe he’ll get overconfident with his brand new alliance and spill something important.” Rah said as she looked between the two of us.

“I’ll go.” Talon said aloud. I looked down at him, frowning. I felt him slide across the connection and debated ignoring him. I hated when he went to Dleth.

You dealt with him last time love. Let me go this time around.

“Fine.” I sighed. Why did it seem like we were being pulled in different directions all the time? One of us was always getting dragged off somewhere.

“One more down.” Loren let his head loll to the side so he wasn’t looking up anymore.

“I will attend the meeting with Illiath.” Tyren smiled and then blinked up at Hanja. The other man had subconsciously gripped his curls a bit too tight when he’d spoken. Hanja’s face stayed neutral as his red eyes flicked from Tyren to Illiath on the map across the sea.

“Kalian, I would have you go with him. There are few I would trust.” Hanja avoided my eyes as my head whipped in his direction. My mouth was hanging open in what I’m sure was an attractive way, but I couldn’t believe it. I’d felt the words that he hadn’t said. He didn’t trust many to protect Tyren, but he was saying he trusted me. Tears pricked the corner of my eyes. To think that Hanja trusted me with what was most important to him. I was having trouble wrapping my head around it.

My brain caught up then, though, and I realized what that meant. Talon and I would both be gone. Wyn would be in Syrin without us. A sharp pain stabbed through my stomach at the thought and I looked down at Talon. He leaned against my side as he retuned my look. His fingers had left my hip and were now stroking my side under my tunic as he felt my panic rise.

“Eon, Hanja, then you’ll both have to promise me you won’t let Wyn out of your sight.” Hanja scoffed as if I’d offended him and Eon nodded once. Wren’s claws were toying with his hair now as the slender monster leaned forward, their faces close.

Their reassurances normally would’ve made me feel better. Not today. There was a sinking feeling in my stomach to accompany my sudden stomach pain. My chest felt tight. I tried to talk myself down mentally as my reasoning steadily dropped. Eon and Hanja were strong. Wyn would be safe in our capital city. It was well-guarded. Nothing would happen. No matter how many times I told myself that as the conversation continued around me, I couldn’t convince my brain. It felt wrong. I didn’t know why and I couldn’t explain it, but I had the overwhelming sensation of dread creeping up my spine. Talk of Wyn had tipped me over and exacerbated it, but I’d been unsettled since Wren volunteered to go with Loren. I didn’t feel good about any of this. How would I explain it, though? I had no solid reasoning. It was just a feeling. An annoying hunch.

Love, it’s okay. Nothing would get through Hanja and Eon. Have you seen your brother? He is a walking, stone wall that shoots exploding fire. The adolescent terror will be fine.

Fingers stroked down my bare spine and I turned my head on the pillow I held. I was laying on my stomach and Talon’s fingers had guided the sheet down dangerously low as he traced each vertebra. He was staring off into space, head propped up on his other hand as he laid on his side. The sun was rising, spilling warm light into the room and confirming that we wouldn’t get much sleep today. Cheek laying on the pillow, I scanned over the scars on his shoulders, the black ink sunk into his pale skin, and the strange expression on his face. I shifted onto my side and his hand came to rest on my hip since I’d interrupted its movements. Talon wasn’t looking at me. His eyes were on the windows, but I wasn’t positive he was seeing them either. He was lost in thought, eyes blank. I couldn’t blame him. The meeting had dragged on and there was so much to think about.

“It doesn’t feel right. I’m worried.” I whispered into the few inches between us. He was pressed against me, constantly wanting physical contact in any way.

Lips pressed to my forehead, “I know. I can feel it. I felt it all day while we argued about what to do.”

Snuggling into his chest, I ignored the lingering sweat and let my hands rest on it, “I am also not excited about you going to Dleth alone.”

“Well, technically, I’m not going alone. I’ll have Rah. Suman will also be there I guess.” Talon chuckled, pushing at my nose with his as he tugged me closer. I let my eyes drift closed and my fingers glided over his collarbones. At most, we had a few hours before we’d need to be responsible adults and start our day.

I listened as Talon’s breathing evened out and huddled closer as his body filled the space under the covers with glorious heat. I waited for sleep to come, but it seemed to have forsaken me. So, I laid there. After some time, Talon flopped onto his back and his head face away from me. That was a blessing in disguise. I wouldn’t have to watch the pain on his face as he dreamed something horrible. As quietly and carefully as I could, I shimmied out of bed. I crept to the washroom to clean up and then into the closet.

I yanked the first pair of pants off the shelf nearest me. They were white with gold pinstripes that made the garment almost reflective. I draped my robe over my shoulders. It was a gauzy white fabric with gorgeous golden embroidery along the bottom and around the wrists. There were even small starbursts stitched down the center of my back. Potlyne was a gift.

Light wrapped around me and I jumped. My feet wiggled in the soft grass that stretched across the floor in our atrium. Courtesy of Wyn, of course. This was as close as I could get to nature without leaving the city. I missed my estate by the sea. I missed the water in general. Being in Syrin for extended periods of time made me almost forget what the ocean breeze felt like. I could hardly imagine my feet sinking into wet sand, or my back stretched over sun-warm dry sand. I sighed as I pressed my fingertips to one of the windows. I grew up near water. I hated being surrounded by stone and brick more, the older I got.

My thoughts returned to the estate as I looked out the window. There wasn’t much of a view. We had a small stretch of grass outside that was considered a yard here where the houses were built far too close together as they ran out of room. It almost reminded me of Eichrin in Dleth. I understood keeping the city contained withing protective walls, but it was so cramped.

I wanted to go home, but it would be an empty building even if I could. The estate was being closed down with war on the horizon and those near the coast were being told to leave if they could. It was risky. As Rah said, any deviation in behavior could alert our enemies that we were onto them. I didn’t care. When I had brought up ousting Sumerion, it wasn’t as serious. I don’t think I truly believed we’d end up in a war.

When I was wrong, I did it in a big way.

There were people who counted on us to make the right decisions. What if we didn’t? What if we didn’t move fast enough or couldn’t handle what was being thrown at us? Anders and Mallex had robbed me of most of my naivety. I knew that war meant casualties and the reality was we simply couldn’t avoid it. No matter how hard we tried or sacrificed, people would suffer. My people. The ones I had sworn to defend when we’d reestablished the government. I rested my forehead against the window as my thoughts became more negative. A war felt like failure. Even if we won. I let my head drop from the window into my hands as I breathed deep and tried to hold back the tears that were threatening. No, I’d already had my whiney day of weakness. I needed to be strong now. I needed to be smart.

Talon would leave in roughly a week and a half. We were still waiting for word from Illiath, but I assumed the meeting would be around the same time.

I wasn’t as strong of a diplomat as Tyren. I wasn’t honestly sure if it mattered. What was the point of these “peace talks”? Peace wasn’t Illiath’s end goal. It had to be a distraction. Some part of a plan we weren’t privy to. Why? To attack Syrin? Or just to attack in general? Were they planning to distract us with these petty meetings while they maneuvered to destroy us? Eon would be here. As nervous as I was, Talon was right. No one would take the city while my brother was in it.

“Wow, does your worrying always fill a room like this?” I didn’t turn to acknowledge Suman. I raised my head from my hands, catching his reflection in the window. A translucent shirt hung from his torso and he wore matching, loose, silver sleep pants that were thankfully far less see-through. Suman’s hair was braided over his shoulder and he looked as worn out as I felt. In the early morning light, Suman almost looked otherworldly with his pale skin and lighter grey hair. He didn’t have the stark contrast that Talon’s graphite locks gave him.

“Couldn’t sleep?” I asked. He shook his head as he crossed the room to stand next to me. We stayed silent and I lapsed back into thought.

“Loren is gone.” He said flatly.

“Yes. I knew they were leaving, but I don’t know that they told anyone when specifically.” Suman chuckled and rubbed at one of his eyes. He turned and I watched him stroll around the atrium. He left my view for a bit and I relaxed a bit. It was hard for me to feel comfortable around the other man.

“Your brother and Wren are terrifying.” I jumped as I realized he stood behind me now. I turned and looked up at him. He was smiling, but there was pain in his eyes. My mind took me back to my discussion with Loren when we’d been travelling home. He’d said that Suman had been alone for so long and was now, possibly, reaching out for human connection. If that was true, then being called out on just how untrustworthy he was must’ve hurt. Eon had told him he didn’t deserve our trust and my brother wasn’t wrong, but I could see the damage now. Loren leaving so soon after they’d established a connection probably didn’t help either. Suman probably felt alone again.

“They are. Eon means well. He’s very protective. Especially of me after everything Mallex and Anders did. It’s even worse when Wyn’s involved. My brother would’ve probably set you on fire as soon as he heard had you somehow harmed the boy.” I smiled to myself, my arms wrapping around my torso. Wyn had worked his way into the entire group’s hearts. Some, like Hanja, simply hid it better.

“It would be justified. Anyone who harms him should have to answer for it. He’s so…good. If only I could say the same about most adults. I’m never good with people my own age.” I looked at him. Suman was looking down at his hands, glowering. I didn’t have to ask what he meant. It was easier for him to trust children. Humans that hadn’t had their innocence ripped away. Adults were definitely a different story. Especially adults in royal courts.

“You could start by not lying? We’re on the same side now Suman. Talon will defend you unless you give him reason not to. You’re his family and whether he’s happy about it or not, he seems to have picked up the torch when it comes to you.”

His head lifted and he looked out the window, “I’ve never been defended. So many. Loren, you, Lyrah, and Talon. I hardly knew what to do with myself. At first, I thought it was some kind of strange trick. It usually is in Dleth.”

I turned my body to face him more. His expression was almost haunted in that moment. He hadn’t caught it fast enough and I’d seen a sliver of the inner turmoil he normally hid so well. Yet another unfortunate family trait obtained through trauma. What had Sumerion subjected the man to while raising him in the Dlethian court? Suman gathered himself quickly and gave me a weak smile. I was starting to think I might possess a special ability to break down this family’s walls so that they opened up to me. I seemed to be getting better at it as I went.

“Don’t betray our trust. We’re trying to put faith in you. The truth is, we need you. You seem to have networks to get information we can’t. You’re also a fighter. Pretty soon, we’ll need as many of those as we can get. There’s a place for you here Suman, you simply have to give up your mind games and lies to claim it.” He blinked in surprise and his smile slipped again. He faced the window again and touched the pads of his fingers to the glass.

“I left Dleth not knowing what my exact plan of action was. I had been conditioned a certain way and I didn’t see my goals aligning with your group’s, but you’re all different than I thought. There is no weakness there. Shortcomings are quickly covered up by someone else on instinct. Watching you all interact is dizzying.” It filled me with pride. I knew none of us were perfect and the group we’d put together was far from it as well, but gods did we try.

Suman wasn’t done, however, “I thought you were weak too. I’ve said it before. I saw you in court and couldn’t imagine you doing the things that you’re credited with. I was wrong. So wrong. If anything, you’re the last person here I would want to make angry.”

I smiled, “It only took me kicking your ass, huh? You’re in luck. I try not to act on anger.”

Suman smiled very slowly, “you nearly slicing my hand in half helped. That’s the thing. I think if I made you angry, I would know that I’d done something unforgivable. I like to push my limits, but I’m not used to people like you. You’re a good person. We don’t get many of those in Dleth.”

Suman sighed and silence filled the space between us. There was a heavy weight on my shoulders. It was always there, but for now I was getting sick of adding to it. I’d been running in circles in my head for hours and this conversation with Suman wasn’t helping my mood. I sighed and closed my eyes. Then I smiled at him after I opened them, “So, did you at least clean up my kitchen after you defiled it?”

Suman’s eyes widened fractionally and color rose at the top of his ears, “What?”

“I saw the two of you locking lips. I have a hard time believing it didn’t go farther with how I left you.” I laughed as his expression filled with more surprise.

“You saw…you didn’t say anything to anyone? You were so against me even breathing in his direction.” His head tilted to the side in clear confusion.

“I can’t say I’m completely onboard. My trust in you is still weak. Loren’s been through a lot and he deserves to be happy.” My fingers drifted over the ends of my sleeves and I narrowed my eyes, “He doesn’t need to be put through anything else.”

Suman’s ears were bright red and the color was starting to bleed into his cheeks, “There’s nothing serious there. I won’t leave enough of an impression to ever hurt him. I never do.”

Suman’s grey eyes were so sad suddenly. I stepped forward reluctantly and rested a hand on his shoulder. This close, I could see that his eyelashes were surprisingly long and his eyes had swirls of blue. Just like Rah’s. He was now looking at anything but me. I tightened my grip on his shoulder and forced his attention to me.

“Suman, I highly doubt you leave people with nothing to remember you by. You’re incredibly hard to forget. No matter how hard your cousin tries. But either way. Whatever is going on between you two, don’t think you’re alone now. Wyn would never allow it. He’s a fan of shin kicks when people are being ridiculous. You’ve been warned.”

Suman laughed and for once there was no trace of mocking tone or teasing, “I’ll keep that in mind. Perhaps invest in some shin guards. I’ve been known to be ridiculous on many an occasion.”

“I didn’t expect anyone to be awake. I also didn’t expect to ever find the two of you laughing together.” Suman’s entire demeanor changed. He’d been completely relaxed, now he was tense. His smile had slid into something mean as Amaris strolled into the room.

Her hair was up and away from her face as she looked from him to me, “Decide to switch princes, Kalian?”

I stared, my mouth slowly falling open, “What?”

Suman chuckled as he moved forward, eyes cruel and tone teasing, “I tend to prefer men from across the sea. How fortunate that you returned unharmed from your mission.”

The glint in his eye as he shoulder-checked the woman and left made me nervous. I didn’t want to see Suman regress when we’d finally made progress. It had all been going so well. Amaris scowled after him and then seemed to process his words. Her head whipped in my direction and she pinned me with a look. She looked furious, but underneath that, hurt.

“The two of them are…” Her voice was very quiet. In the large study, it was so soft, I almost didn’t catch it.

“That’s not for me to discuss. It’s not any of my business. It’s not yours either, Ris. You left Loren. Not the other way around. We need to stay out of it.” I crossed the room and reached for her hand, but she snatched it away from my grip.

“Oh, really? The one time you don’t want to intervene it’s when it’s someone important to me.

You have awful timing. You’re choosing to mind your own business when Loren’s pursuing a psycho? How convenient Kalian.” Amaris whirled away from me and I tried to follow.

“It isn’t like that Amaris. I’m not trying to keep things from you-“

“No. It’s fine. Leave it. Does Talon know you’re sneaking around with his cousin at dawn, though?”

“Talon is wondering why you’re in his house being rude to his husband.” Talon stood at the top of the stairs in only sleep pants. Suman stood to his left, looking down at his feet. Talon frowned between the two of us, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I’m leaving.” She bent to grab a bag. She must’ve stowed it by the steps when she’d come in.

“That’s fine. Preferred, actually. I would like to know what your problem is before you leave, though. Kalian and I are connected. If he was sneaking around behind my back with someone else, I’d figure it out pretty quick. Faster if it was sexual or meant something to him. You’re upset about something and you’re taking it out on him.” Talon crossed his arms and Suman shifted on his feet. My husband’s eyes widened a bit as he began putting it together.

Mm, I should’ve asked exactly how you found the princes? Hm, love?

Yes, I’m sorry.

Talon ran his fingers through his hair as he looked at Amaris, “So goblin man found someone else and you’re mad about it. Shouldn’t have left him if you didn’t want something like this to happen.”

I winced and Amaris ran her fingers over the embroidery on the bag she held, “I don’t have to sit around and let you insult me Talon.”

“You did this with Kalian and I too. Punishing people when it’s not their fault your love life is a mess. I am picking up on a pattern Ama.” He was angry. Memories of how Amaris used to treat me when we’d first met flitted across the connection. Before we’d nearly died together and become friends. Gods, it was hard to believe we’d hated each other that much at the start.

“Talon. Stop.” I stepped forward and she flinched when I took her hand. Big, tear-filled, crimson eyes turned to me. I sighed and linked our fingers, “I’m sorry if it felt like I was keeping something from you. I wasn’t trying to and I’m sorry.”

Amaris wiped at her eyes with her free hand and hugged me, “I’m sorry I said that to you. I know better. You and Talon are embarrassingly obsessed with each other. Thank god you can’t procreate. There’d be like twenty kids by now.”

“That’s stupid. I would never have that many kids. There are some days Wyn and I don’t even like each other. Also, for the record, I am not sorry for anything I said.” Talon called from where he still stood a bit away.

“Oh, me either then. No regrets.” Suman agreed, grinning widely. Amaris shocked me by chuckling softly as she wiped the last lingering moisture from her eyes. She looked at Suman again, this time appraisingly. Suman lifted his chin slightly, smirking at her. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

“He never shuts up. I hope you’re ready for that.” Amaris smiled weakly. I hugged her tighter and Suman blinked. He’d been gearing up for a fight and now it looked like he didn’t know what to do. Talon wrapped an arm around his neck, flicking his temple with his other hand. Suman shoved at him and Talon laughed as his cousin pushed harder.

Suman rubbed his neck, “I suppose I shall have to find something that renders even Loren speechless then.”

“That sounds hard. Try a gag.” Talon shrugged as he crossed to me and untangled me from Amaris, making a shooing motion at her. Amaris pouted and shook her head.

“Please don’t give him ideas,” I groaned as Talon dragged me back to our room.

“Oh sleepover?” Talon glared at the woman as she trailed behind us.

“Yes,” I laughed as Talon shot her down at the same time. I glanced behind us to see Suman toying with the end of his braid, expression thoughtful as he looked out the floor to ceiling windows at the top of the stairs.

“We only have a couple hours before Wyn wakes up. You’re not invited Amaris.” Talon insisted.

“As if I care what you said. Kallie already said yes.” We continued the march to the bedroom. Talon and Amaris arguing. I tuned them out as I normally did. That had gone far better than it could’ve. It would’ve exploded in my face had this been even five years ago. Everyone would’ve left the conversation angry. Maybe Tyren’s diplomacy lessons were coming in handy in unexpected ways.

*

Time went so much faster when you didn’t want it to. I sat on the edge of our bed as Talon packed, crouching on the ground in front of me. The trip to Dleth had come much too soon. Wyn was flopped across the bed behind me, pouting up at the ceiling. Then hands where on my knees and Talon’s head came to rest in my lap. I ran fingers through his hair. Something in me tightened as I saw his bags closed and ready to go. His cheek was pressed to my legs and he wrapped his arms around my waist. It was a strange angle, but I kept playing with his hair. I leaned down, kissing his temple.

“I don’t want to go.” He mumbled, palm rubbing my lower back. My hands traveled down and I massaged his shoulders and upper back. There was nothing to say. He knew I didn’t want him to go either. The meeting with Illiath had been set. Conveniently right in the middle of Talon, Suman, and Rah’s trip. It’s as if they’d been waiting to confirm that they’d be gone. The meeting would take place in Krinn and my nerves had risen even higher. I didn’t trust my parents. I had come to the realization when I’d been picking apart my anxiety. After all they had done to us, they weren’t good people. It wouldn’t help my case any that they’d been stripped of all their power when I came into mine.

At least Anika would be there. I trusted her a bit more than our father and mother, but I couldn’t shake that feeling. Something was trying to tell me that everything was wrong. Or maybe not everything? I couldn’t figure it out. There was a small voice in the back of my head repeating over and over that this was wrong, wrong, wrong.

“Love?” Talon was looking up at me, frowning now.

“I’m okay. Sorry.” I moved, pressing our lips together softly.

“Gross. You’re gross.” Wyn groused from the cocoon of blankets he’d been wrapping himself in when I wasn’t paying attention.

“I’m going to remember this when you’re older. I’m going to keep a tally and pay you back for every single one when you find a partner. I’ll be eighty years old, popping up to remind you that your affection and love are nasty.” Talon declared as he shifted onto his knees so he could hold me against him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and closed my eyes. It was nothing. They’d go talk to Sumerion, king moron, and then they’d come back. I had done the same thing only a little bit ago. It would be fine. Everything would be okay.

Small arms wrapped around our heads and Talon grumbled as Wyn hung on. I maneuvered the boy between us to sit on my lap and sighed, “Remember, talk to your grandfather and come right back. No delays Talon.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He grinned, kissing my forehead.

“Unless he says something about Da. Then stab him with something pointy.” Wyn nodded sagely as he looked up at Talon.

Talon nodded back at the boy seriously, “But of course, Wyn. Your wish is my command.”

“Talon!” I shook my head, trying to hide my smile.

“Hey! What kind of parent would I be if I denied my child his greatest wish? You want me to be a bad dad?” Talon sat back on his heels. His hand pressed to the center of his chest as he threw me a fake offended expression.

“Oh my gods. Weren’t you leaving?” I groaned. He grinned, leaning forward to kiss me again. He earned more noises of protest from Wyn. Then the boy was trying to flee as Talon tried to plant a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Wyn held him at bay with his hands on Talon’s face and his knee pressed to his sternum.

“Hey, hey. Let me out of this! I don’t want to get hurt in your scuffle!” I tried squirming away and Talon rushed forward, tackling us both onto the bed. His kiss was deposited on Wyn’s head and I received another on my mouth. Then Talon darted from the room before we could retaliate. We laid on our backs and I let my eyes fall closed. Wyn’s cheek rested on my chest and he threw an arm over my waist. In turn, I wrapped one around his shoulders. It was rare I got Wyn snuggles. He was far too cool for me.

“Da, you seem worried. You have since before Uncle Wren and Uncle Loren left.” Damn this perceptive child. I rolled onto my side, tucking him into my chest. Wyn had only been given the vaguest idea of what was going on. He wouldn’t have accepted Wren and Loren’s sudden departure without some kind of explanation. The situation would’ve been made worse when Talon, Rah, and Suman left. The boy wasn’t dumb. He knew something was happening. Obviously, the state I’d worked myself into didn’t help either. I’d been in my head for days and I had seen the suspicion and concern growing on the boy’s face.

“I’ve just been feeling a bit off. Worried, but I don’t know why.” He looked up at me and I wondered what laid behind his bottle green eyes with brush strokes of stars and rainbow. What was going on in his mind? Wyn was beyond his years in terms of maturity but I sometimes worried that it made things harder for the boy. He shouldn’t be spending his time constantly worried about the adults in his life. It wasn’t fair. He should be learning and enjoying what was left of his childhood.

“Did you tell dad? He always tells me to listen to those feelings. Intuition or something. I don’t know. Dad rambles sometimes.” I smiled and brushed a dark, wavy, lock away from his face as I sighed. He was right. Or, well, Talon was.

That was far easier to admit when his smirking face wasn’t right in front of me. Wyn bumped his head against my chin and I snuggled him tighter to me. It wasn’t long before his breathing slowed. I rubbed gently at the line between his brows. The poor thing worried about me far too much. Worry,worry, worry. That might’ve been my fault. Blood or not, he was my child. It seemed he’d picked up on my constant over thinking. I rested my chin on top of his head, reaching across the tether.

Talon?

It was quiet for a few seconds.

See, I knew you loved me. I wonder sometimes, but I’ve been gone for twenty minutes and you already miss me.

I rolled my eyes, pulling the blanket over Wyn and I.

That’s not it. I…have a bad feeling. I can’t explain why, but it’s been getting worse as we dig deeper into this plan.

Well, that’s…probably not good there, little sun god.

I’m serious Talon.

Alright love. I’ll be careful. I’ll tell Rah. She’s better at being cautious than I am.

Thank the gods for that.

Don’t act like you don’t enjoy my reckless streak. It’s only almost gotten us killed like…three times. Okay four at most. I keep your life exciting. Don’t deny it.

I shook my head as I pulled back from the connection. Talon’s laughter reached across to me, and I smiled. I did feel a tiny bit better about things. At least maybe Talon would try to be less crazy. Rah would help. Suman would not help at all. Of that, I was sure. Sighing, I looked down at Wyn. He was out, fingers bunched loosely in my tunic. I ran fingers through his hair as I tried to convince myself I should get up and start the day. I had to fill Amaris in on everything. Eon wanted to talk to me. Wren and Loren had been gone for ten days with no word. Hanja was getting more anxious by the day at the thought of Tyren going to the meeting in Illiath. There was so much to do, but I found myself relaxing more into the bed and blankets. Wyn’s deep breathing was lulling me into a nap.

I finally gave in, justifying it by telling myself I might not have many naps in the coming weeks. I had no idea what information Wren and Loren would bring. I didn’t know how the meetings in Dleth and with Illiath would go. Were they just stringing us along? If they were planning an attack, what was the reason for the stupid meetings? My brain seemed to cringe away from thoughts of the month’s end. Even if everything went according to plan, were we ready for what was to come?

A terrible, tiny voice in the back of my head insisted that we weren’t. That fear accompanied me as I slid into unpleasant dreams.