The Next Stage - 33. Everything They Deserve

Living with Beth had been fine. But going from so much time on his own, to living with a sooky teething baby, a husband that clearly missed him and someone who seemed to think she was babysitting all of them was overwhelming and left Jasper often feeling guilty for finding home life suffocating. As much as they love Beth, it was starting to feel like they were teenage dads with their mum helping them raise their kid. She’d been relied on so heavily to help with Jasmyn when Jasper wasn’t home, that she kept unintentionally overstepping the parenting line like she’s forgotten she is an aunt and Jasper and Ryan are the parents.

Ryan and Beth had been living together and raising Jasmyn in his absence, so it should have been expected to see their closeness. It’s a little unnerving to at times see them as the domestic couple and himself as the third wheel. Possibly a petty reaction, possibly missing his overseas involvement with kids, possibly just because he missed Jasmyn so much, Jasper takes over with as much of the parenting as he can.

They all manage this new way of living fairly well, but Jasper is eager to get his family into a home they could grow old in. First step was affording the building expense. Six months after opening his charity, Ryan holds another fundraising event, this time with residents who used to live there, now able to be promotional speakers to the importance of the housing and how it helped them access opportunities to reach their full potential. The donations save a chunk of Ryan’s personal out-of-pocket expense for ownership, maintenance, and bills for the place.

Jasper’s parents didn’t agree with the idea of fundraising for the charity so they could save their own money to build a beach front house that Jasper is adamant won’t be a mansion. The word ‘humble’ and ‘selfless’ get used a few times and Jasper and Ryan both roll their eyes.

“Dad, we are homeless because we put all of our money into buildings to house and help people get back on their feet. Excuse me if I want it to be our turn to put money into a building that can house us and get us back on our feet.” Jasper argues, making it sound like a really understandable and reasonable thing. He’d justify the extravagance another time. Was Jasmyn going to be spoilt with a bedroom with a walk-through wardrobe with a ‘magic’ door that will lead into a spacious play-room that Jasper intended on spending his life acting like the doesn’t know where the secret other door is? Yes. But he was having this house built for them to live in, not just to lock themselves in.

Which is why he and Ryan’s bathroom would have a double shower. Showering together had become a frequent occurrence, but Jasper likes his showers to be so hot he gets out looking sunburnt. Any time Ryan wanted to join him in the shower, he’d have to turn the hot water down. He’d usually start slowly titrating the temperature back up while distracting Ryan with loving kisses. He thought he got away with it, but Ryan proved him wrong, grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand from the hot tap. He’d pinned Jasper’s hand to the wall of the shower, and things had gotten much hotter. But Ryan did hold him there long enough to turn the hot water right off at the end and blast him with cold water, with a grin on his face as he said, “just cooling you off.”

With a dual shower, they could enjoy the company of showering together without compromising their own comfort. Jasper figured they deserved this.

They probably don’t need three spare bedrooms, but Jasper wanted somewhere for his nieces and nephew to stay. Or for Grace if she needed a break from the kids, or for Leo if he ever replied to any of Jasper’s ‘checking in’ texts and decided he wanted to spend the night with them. Plus, Beth deserved to have a room ready for her at any moment, after housing Jasper through a pandemic and then Ryan and Jasmyn through Jasper’s absence and then all of them for months. Actually, what she deserves is her own space at last. But what she’s getting is a spare room with her own bathroom and kitchen, just in-case.

He’s finally got a full soundproof recording studio and a large mirrored room for Ryan’s dance studio.

There’s a time for humble, but right now is not that time to Jasper. Right now he just wants a home, and he’s not ashamed of going overboard to have it meet all his needs. Although he does understand he’s going to be living in luxury and he doesn’t feel bad about that at all. He feels like he’s earned it at this point.

Ever since Jasper returned home, people had been eager and hopeful that the band might finally get back together. Some fans held hope Jasper and Ryan would one day announce that they are doing a full album together of songs they lovingly sing together and for each other. An unreasonably large number of fans are instead spreading ‘prayer circles’ of candle emojis on Twitter that one day a sex tape will be leaked. Jasper re-tweets the prayer circle when he sees it, tagging Ryan in the post with a bunch of wink faces, eggplant emojis and the fire emoji. Ryan comments on Jasper's post asking “You busy?” with a photo of Jasper, sitting on the couch with his legs over Ryan’s lap, typing lyrics in his phone notes app.

Jasper smiles as the notification interrupts his train of thought. He comments back saying, “Not tonight babe, I have a headache.”

He’s not surprised by the flood of fans who are floored at the idea Jasper would ever reject Ryan for sex. Someone comments “sex cures headaches!” to which Jasper retweets it, saying “Brb, testing your theory.”

They sit on the couch smirking at each other and continue not touching one another because they are too busy zoning out to the sound of Jasmyn’s favorite cartoon. She fell asleep some time ago, but they don’t dare turn it off for fear she may wake up. It’s not exactly hot, sexy music, and ‘not exactly hot, sexy’ things is basically their life now. They also aren’t that deprived that any opportunity is one they feel they need to take, and it’s made things between them a lot more relaxed. They can just sit on the couch while Jasper writes songs and Ryan mentally berates himself for mistakes during an audition and no one has to feel like they are meant to be doing something more.

According to Luke, this is marriage in a nutshell. According to Flynn, this is complacency and they should never feel so comfortable they pass the ‘can’t get enough’ stage.

Oddly enough, the tables had turned and more often than not, it’s Ryan initiating sex. Jasper isn’t interested. In fact, he’s thrilled whenever Ryan starts hinting at him because he can’t believe how high Ryan’s sex drive is. Almost the entire relationship Jasper had been the one with an insatiable appetite. When Jasper gets back in bed at 3am after spending twenty minutes sitting by Jasmyn’s cot and patting her back to sleep while she goes through night time feed withdrawals, he’s genuinely surprised to have Ryan pull him close, kiss his lips then start on his neck and whisper in a sweet, half-asleep tone “I love waking up and having you here.”

Knowing Ryan had missed him enough to mention how much he’s glad to have him back every few nights and almost every day, even though he’s been home now for months, really does it for Jasper.

As things really settle in, and they reach six whole months of Jasper being home, the finalization of their own house could not come soon enough. Thanks to the fact people have been losing their shit over him having become more muscular, he scored a pay check to model on the front page of a magazine. And from that, he gained sponsorships from brands that paid him insanely to wear their clothes for a few Instagram shirts. He felt a little like he was selling out, but he has an expensive taste for this beach front dream home and if he could pay the builders on the money, he got for posting a selfie, then he’ll do it. Besides, Ryan was a fun photographer. He’d walked in on Jasper trying to take a decent photo in the mirror of himself in the underwear he’d been sent to wear, and immediately it went from posting a simple photo, to Ryan taking dozens of inappropriate photos of him in sexy and seductive poses. There was nothing in the rules that said he had to be alone in the photo, so what ends up getting posted, is a photo taken by Jasper in the mirror, with Ryan behind him, kissing his neck and gripping the sides of the underwear.

Of course, it is immediately flagged as pornographic and taken down, but the fight Jasper and Ryan go on with Twitter builds up intrigue and when it’s eventually reposted; it goes viral, making the sponsor extremely happy and scoring the couple an offer to do a professional photoshoot in the branded underwear. Despite how tempting it is, the two decline it. Jasper didn’t want his own brand to be a fading pop-star, turn underwear model and Ryan doesn’t want Jasmyn to grow up and see numerous photos of her dad’s like that. Some things are better off not being out there for the whole world to see. Though he wouldn’t mind a personal collection of such photos.

**** 

Jasper stands on the foreshore, watching the builders hard at work, completing the exterior of the house. Inside is still a shell of half-built walls, but from the outside the house is looking good.

“Jas, come and have lunch.” Ryan says, wrapping his arms around Jasper’s waist. “Let the builders we’re paying do the work.”

“You cannot expect me to not get involved in this project. Are you kidding me? This is my house.” Jasper sighs, fascinated by the way the house was coming together and absolutely itching to start putting his own marks on the place. He’d deliberately chosen to leave Jasmyn’s bedroom and his and Ryan’s bedroom bare of paint so they could do it themselves and make the place theirs.

Ryan kisses his neck. “How do you plan on helping?”

“You missed me in my prime, wearing a hardhat and a fluorescent vest and a tool belt.”

“Mm, I hope that was all you were wearing.” Ryan whispers, smirking against his neck.

“Oh my god do you have an off switch?” Jasper laughs.

“Don’t act like if I did, you would ever flick it.”

Jasper turns around in Ryan’s arms. “I might in a public setting. You need a hobby.”

“You know what we should do?” Ryan grins.

“What?”

“Never mind, I just decided I’m going to do it and surprise you.”

“Ry...”

“What are we doing tonight?”

“Uh, everyone is coming over for the thing.” Jasper shrugs.

The thing.

**** 

Flynn and Grace come over with their little tribe. Ellie is obsessing over Jazzy the entire time, which makes Jasper’s heart rush in a way he feels almost guilty about. Yes, he loved both his nieces and his nephew. But Ellie was always going to be slightly more special to him and there was nothing he could do about that bias. Seeing the first baby girl he ever knew he could love, playing with and doting on his own baby girl, was just so special.

The twins, however, Jasper is surprised to hear talking with actual words and short sentences. Their babble as they rampage through the house like they have a compulsion to touch and break as much as they can in world record-breaking time keeps Jasper certain that he is perfectly fine with having an only child.

Grace looks tired and when she hugs Jasper, she stays in his arms, letting herself relax properly for a few moments. She sighs, before whispering, “can we talk alone a little later?”

“I’ve missed you too,” Jasper says and when Grace pulls away from him, he gives a subtle nod.

Luke, Fi and their son Zak come over and there’s tension between Zak and Ellie that Jasper is not a fan of. Mostly because he’s a million years away from ready to see his own daughter look at a boy, the way he just caught Ellie looking at his friend’s son. He wonders if he ever looked at girls or boys like this when he was so young because he's pretty sure he can't diagnose a kid with 'the hetero' but she’s all wide eyed and following him around and it’s cute.

They are all kids, but childhood is going to pass them in a blink of the eye and all too soon they would all be in the dating stage. That's a whole thing Jasper can't even begin to deal with tonight.

It’s weird how much times have changed. That on a day that marked such tragedy for them all, they could now come together. Flynn liked to use the term ‘death day party’, and to him he believed Blake would be all for it too. Dark as it was, Jasper couldn’t help agreeing and laughing at the way his brain tries to remember Blake’s voice and imagine him saying it.

There’s surprisingly no tears, and Jasper wonders if that should feel worse than it does. Marking the date he lost his best friend had never been less than gut-wrenching, and his lack of sadness today plagued his mind with thoughts of being an awful friend and betraying Blake by not being rightfully devastated. A thought crosses Jasper’s mind that he also doesn’t know how to feel about. Blake had now been gone longer than he and Jasper had known each other before he’d died. It was roughly three and a half years that they had been friends for, and tonight marked four years since his death. It’s odd and Jasper doesn’t like it. In fact, it’s one of those thoughts he wished he could forget because it made him feel disorientated to know that the time he knew him to the time without him had lapsed.

And maybe that’s why there are no tears this year. Against every part of him that four years ago thought his own world was ending, it had more than continued. His own world had grown and he’d grown in ways he could almost confidently admit he wouldn’t have if things had been different.

He’d take it back a thousand percent if he could. But he could acknowledge that he’d be a different person if he’d never gone through that loss. Maybe he’d still be undiagnosed with his bipolar. He’d have likely fucked things up with Ryan at some point, or been too selfish about touring the world and getting up to mischief with his best friend to want to settle down and have a family.

In some alternate reality, Jasper and Blake are on the stage performing songs while Beth and Ryan are married with kids, having given up waiting for their boyfriends to come home from tour. Alternate reality, Jasper is probably sleeping with alternate reality Leo and that explains why he keeps having sex dreams that start with Ryan and give him whiplash in his sleep as it turns into a sex dream with Leo.

Sometimes he gets lucky and dreams of Ryan and Leo. Those he doesn’t complain about. But more than a few times he’d woken up and internet searched ‘what does it mean to have a sex dream about a friend that hasn’t spoken to you in 7 months?' According to the internet, it means he’s missing him.

According to the lack of an attempt at contact from Leo, he mustn’t be having sex dreams about Jasper.

**** 

After dinner, Jasper pours a line of tequila shots.

“In honor of Blake.” He lifts one up to toast.

“We miss you, dude.” Flynn says with a smile, tapping his glass to Jasper’s.

Everyone lifts their glasses, throwing back the shots and leaving one glass on the bench, because Jasper always poured on for Blake too.

The alcohol isn’t welcome in Jasper’s body and he feels it the instant it leaves the warm burn down his throat, chest, and into his stomach. “Okay. I’m ready, Luke. Let’s start working on an album,” he declares.

“Sure. When?” Luke smiles.

“Tomorrow or something. I’m free all the time, so whenever it suits you.”

“I’m happy to start straight away. Although Fi and I wanted to talk to you about the adoption process for one of the children in your orphanage.” Luke states and Jasper’s hands fly to his mouth as a shocked gasp escapes and tears instantly hit his eyes.

“Oh my god, yes. Adopt all my children.”

“We’ll start with one, but we do want a big family. Zak is getting bored being an only child.”

“Are you gonna have that shot?” Flynn asks, pointing to the shot glass poured for Blake. Jasper pushes it towards Flynn, who doesn’t need more encouragement than that.

Flynn slams the glass down and shakes a little, then gives an assertive exhale as he turns to Beth and says, “I’ll do it. I’ll help you have a baby. But I’m going to be their uncle and I want to be involved in their lives as a close relative. Not a distant one. I don’t want you to feel weird about it. It’ll be your kid, but in honor of Blake, I want to help raise them too. Are you cool with that? I can’t be uninvolved. I just can’t do that. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it as a family. Because he’d have married you by now, so you rightfully are a part of the family in my mind.”

Everyone goes silent, mouths agape, as they wait for Beth’s response.

“Really?!” She clasps her hand over her mouth, tears filling her eyes.

“Yep. Seems I have to make my own nieces and nephews around here.” Flynn jokes and is taken aback when Beth throws her arms around him, crying with gratitude.

“I love this family.” Jasper smiles at the kind way Flynn is so uncomfortably trying to comfort Beth now.

“People will start needing a family tree to follow it, but it is special.” Ryan agrees, slipping an arm around Jasper’s waist and kissing the side of his head. “How are you?”

“That tequila burned.” Jasper gives a little laugh, rubbing at his throat as if he’s helping with the internal heat. “It’s okay that I drank, isn’t it? I think it is.”

“It’s okay if you’re in control.”

“My annual death day shot. I think it’s pretty well controlled. I haven’t been drinking just because in a long time.”

“You can though. If you feel like you are in control. I want you to be empowered to choose when you want to and when you don’t.”

“Yeah, it’d be nice to be able to just enjoy things and not be worried I’ll end up ruining my life.” Jasper says with a smile, then kisses Ryan tenderly. “This doesn’t feel worth risking, to be honest.”

Ryan smiles and kisses Jasper. “Are you alright if I go and do the special thing I wanted to do now? I’ll text you soon to join me?” he asks.

“Sure. I was going to head to the studio for a bit, anyway. I’ll see you soon.” Jasper gets one more kiss before letting Ryan run off on him.

“Jasper, do you have a minute?” Grace asks, linking arms with her brother.

“Oh, yes. You wanted to talk to me. Sorry, I’ve been distracted. How have you been? Feels like we haven’t talked in ages.” Jasper says, giving her a hug. Grace hugs back extra tight.

“I’ve been avoiding you, that’s why,” she admits.

Jasper pulls back from the hug, staring at her though he doesn’t know what to say.

“I wanted to sort things out before I told you this, because you have enough on your plate, but after the procedure, I had some health stuff going on. I had a cervical exam, and they found cells that were at risk of turning cancerous, so I had to have part of my cervix removed.” She ignores the multitude of shocked expressions Jasper makes in quick succession and continues. “So, I don’t know if you and Ryan were planning on having any more kids, but I won’t be able to surrogate for you again. I mean, I could have a pregnancy and it could be birthed without complications, but they did ask multiple times if I was planning more kids before they went ahead with it, so I’m guessing it’s not ideal.”

“Grace, oh my god. Stop. Are you okay?” Jasper asks and something in Grace’s resolve seems to break.

“I’m actually pretty not okay about it.” She holds back tears. “I’ll be having frequent examinations to make sure there is no concern moving forward, but the whole thing messed me up mentally. I actually wanted a hysterectomy so I wouldn’t ever have to worry about it developing again, but they denied me because I’m ‘still young’ and ‘might change my mind about having more kids’, like I’m just breeding stock. Oh, and they didn’t sedate me to have part of my cervix lopped off, so I was lying there with my vagina on full display to a room full of doctors and nurses and I hated it so much. I felt so vulnerable and scared.”

“How has Flynn been about all of this?” Jasper asks, hugging Grace again.

“He’s been great to my face, but I know he’s feeling complicated about the whole thing. He went and got tested because he was so upset at the thought he might have given me HPV. They say it takes years for it to become cancerous, so it wasn’t Flynn. Ugh, it’s just been a really weird and complicated time for us.” Grace says, relaxing into Jasper’s arms.

“You could have turned to me. No matter what, I always want to know if something is wrong with you and your family.” Jasper tells her.

“I know.” Grace pulls back and wipes her eyes. “I’m alright though. I mean, health wise I’m alright. Mentally it’s a different story,” she laughs it off. Jasper can’t help but give a bittersweet smile in reply.

“Mentally it’s a different story, is gonna be the title of my memoir.” He sighs and Grace laughs properly this time. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Jasper asks.

“No. I just wanted to tell you. I haven’t told our parents. I don’t want to. But I haven’t told anyone, and it’s been really isolating.” Grace sighs, wiping her eyes again.

“I’m always here for you. I know you know that, and I know where you get the whole ‘shut everyone out when I’m going through personal hell’ thing from, but still. Don’t keep these things to yourself. Come to me.” Jasper urges.

They both stand in silence for a few long moments before the sound of a toddler tantrum throwing contest pierces through them.

Grace gives a sigh. “I love you J. I should probably get these kids home, though.”

“Yeah, sounds like Jazzy needs to go to bed, too.” Jasper nods. He and Grace walk inside together to separate Jasmyn’s teeth from Atticus’s leg and his hand from her creepy doll.

**** 

“Something wrong with your wrist?” Leo calls out from the doorway of the practice room, scaring the hell out of Jasper.

“Leo? What are you doing here?” Jasper asks, and his tone is absolutely filled with ‘you haven’t talked to me in months’ attitude.

Leo shrugs and walks over, sitting beside Jasper on the piano stool. “I figured you’d be here tonight. How are you? Show me your hand,” Leo orders, with his palm out.

Jasper rolls his eyes and places his fingers back in the starting position on the piano. “Pretty sure you can’t see internal pain,” he says, playing through a grimace.

“Is that the one you broke?”

“Mm-hm. Either it’s going to rain, or my joints think I’m a lot older than I am.” Jasper laughs it off.

“How much does it hurt?”

Jasper stops playing abruptly and turns to Leo. “Okay, you haven’t spoken to me since you left me overseas, so don’t just show up and act like you care. Where have you been? Ry said you were helping him with his whole charity thing, but you just dropped off the radar for months.”

“I...” Leo pauses and chews his lip. “I’m dating someone.”

“Dating as in dating?”

“It’s new. I’m trying to get used to a relationship where we’re taking things slowly.”

Jasper frowns at him in disbelief. “How slow?”

“I kissed her goodbye after our first date and that was it.”

“And now?”

“Well, now, we kiss when we see each other. We’ve gone on seven dates.”

“So, you’ve ghosted me for months in favor of someone you aren’t even screwing. I’m impressed. Maybe even proud.” Jasper teases, though still mad about it.

“Sorry for ghosting you. I figured you’d be busy, though. With the orphanage, then your sex holiday and then getting used to being home.”

“Excuses, excuses.” Jasper smiles, tinkering on the piano, despite the tingling pain through his wrist. “So, this woman you’re dating, I take it she’s been cool with your sexuality?”

“I might have played it down a bit. Made it sound more like I was experimental in college. Which isn’t a lie. Living in a frat was like being in a candy store.” Leo jokes. Jasper doesn’t answer, just leans his head on Leo’s shoulder and closes his eyes.

“I’ve missed you. Can’t believe you ditched me for a girl,” he complains.

“I’ve missed you too. I really am sorry I’ve been useless.”

Jasper is about to ask if Leo’s missed him like a normal person or found out he missed him because he was having recurrent sex dreams when he’s interrupted by a text from Ryan.

‘I’m waiting for you at home.’ The text preview reads. When Jasper opens it, he sees a photo of the front door of their not-yet-complete house.

“I’ve got to go. My husband is up to something.” Jasper says, getting up and heading towards the door. He pauses and turns back to Leo. “Hey, you shouldn’t have to ‘play down’ yourself for this person you’re dating. I’ve always admired that you aren’t ashamed of who you are, so don’t start now.”

Leo fakes a smile. “Do you need a lift?”

“No, I drive myself around these days. Since my PA, turned best friend, turned ghoster, hasn’t been available.” Jasper throws Leo a smirk and keeps walking. Part of him loves that even though time had passed, and it’d definitely sucked to not have Leo bother to talk to him in so long, they still felt just as close. He’s also glad that despite the sex dreams, not a single part of him wants to stay behind with Leo instead of seeing what sneaky thing Ryan is doing.

**** 

“What the hell are you doing?” Jasper asks, walking into the house that is lit up by dozens of candles.

“Being romantic. It’s been a while.” Ryan smiles, closing the door behind Jasper and taking his hand. He leads him towards the huge glass windows facing the ocean, where a picnic blanket and a bunch of pillows are set before the relaxing view. Ryan sits and Jasper joins him.

“Would you like a drink?” Ryan offers, taking a bottle of champagne from a bucket of ice.

Jasper looks at it with consideration, then sighs. "Yes, for all the right reasons. We need to toast to this house. To Beth and Flynn making a baby Blake. To us for finally having our lives on track...”

“Oh you just had to say that. If this house burns down, I’m blaming you.” Ryan says, unscrewing the cork.

“Pretty sure if it burns down, we can blame the person who lit and placed all these candles on wooden floors.” Jasper jokes, taking the half-filled champagne glass Ryan is holding out for him.

Ryan pours some champagne in his own glass, then places the bottle back in the ice. “To us for everything we’ve achieved, and will continue to achieve, and all the beautiful memories we are going to build in this house.”

“Once it’s complete.”

“Good to know I went all out on this just to have you disregard my efforts like that.” Ryan fakes insult.

Jasper laughs. “Sorry. The beautiful memories starting with tonight.”

“That’s better. Cheers.”

“Cheers, my love.” Jasper sips his drink, then sets the glass down beside him and relaxes back into the cushions, listening to the crash of waves against the sand at full tide, not far from the place he couldn’t wait to call home. It’s a soothing change from the noise of cars passing in the streets.

Ryan lies back too, his hand finding Jasper’s and they stay like that in silence, enjoying the peace and the way their lives feel so normal right now.

When Ryan asks if Jasper needs a refill, Jasper realises he forgot about his drink altogether. So out of practice with drinking at all. He sips at it, but he’s enjoying the slightly warm feeling of his face and the way his brain feels like it’s being hugged.

“I didn’t get the role in Cabarete.” Ryan says with a disappointed half-smile.

“That’s fine. We’ll just boycott it.” Jasper says, having a slightly heavier sip of his drink before giving Ryan the glass. “Do you want to finish this off for me? I don’t want to waste good champagne, but I’m already feeling tipsy.”

Ryan takes the drink from him and finishes it swiftly.

“I didn’t mean all at once.” Jasper laughs.

“We’re not boycotting Cabaret.”

“To be fair, I don’t know any of the songs from that one, so I wouldn’t have had time to do a reenactment like I did for Chicago.” Jasper smiles, staring up at the ceiling and watching the flickering shadows of the flames dance above him.

“You didn’t know that song until I made you watch the movie.”

“Really can’t believe we’re at the stage of our lives where I’m excited to watch the musicals without Zac Efron in them, just for you.”

“Oh, you’re still on the Zac Efron thing.”

“I would love to be on the Zac Efron thing.” Jasper winks.

“Shall I call him up? Tell him I have a romantic evening set out for the love of my life, and he should come over and fuck my husband to really make the night extra special?” Ryan asks sarcastically.

“I mean... Yeah? Are we talking Baywatch era or Greatest Showman era? Actually, you know what? Tell Baywatch era Zac to come dressed in his Greatest Showman costume with the red coat and the top hat so he can look that good dressed, and then that good undressed.” Jasper teases.

“I hate you sometimes.” Ryan rolls his eyes. “What are you going to do when there’s a stage production of The Greatest Showman and I get cast as Phillip Carlyle?”

“Who’s that?”

“The character he... Are you kidding me? You’ll froth at the thought of him, but you didn’t even know his character’s name?” Ryan shoots Jasper a stunned frown.

“OH! Oh, if you get cast in that role, I’ll absolutely be sneaking backstage to hook-up with you in that red coat and top-hat. Don’t even get me thinking about that. My god. I’ll need to go for a dip in the ocean to cool off.” Jasper smirks, rolling onto his side and looking at Ryan.

“Are you okay there? Need me to give you some privacy with your hand and imagination?” Ryan asks, casting Jasper a cheeky glance. Jasper just grins, grabbing Ryan by the collar of his shirt and forcing him to roll over into a loving kiss that Ryan pretends he’s not into for the first few moments before his hand slides up the back of Jasper’s shirt, all the way up to his neck.

Jasper breaks the kiss to give a whispered, “you know you’re all I want, and all I need.”

Ryan smiles, not answering with words but instead letting his passionate kiss be the answer.

**** 

“This is what happens when you tell a woman you’re dating that you’ve slept with a few guys...” Leo doesn’t even greet Jasper at the door, instead just launches into his rant.

“A few? I see the honesty is going well.” Jasper smiles as he watches Leo walk straight into Beth’s house.

“She said she needed time to think things through. This is why relationships aren’t worth it.”

Jasper squints his eyes, trying to mentally follow Leo’s train of thought. “I feel like this has nothing to do with whether relationships are worth it, and everything to do with being honest from the start about who you are.”

“I’m not just a long list of sexual encounters, though. I’m a person. What does it matter if I’ve slept with a few guys?”

“You’re saying a few a lot and I’m not sure if you’re trying to play it down or if her reaction has made you feel negatively about your history. Leo, it doesn’t matter how many different flavors of people you’ve slept with. It matters that you should be able to be respected regardless and if you felt you had to keep it from her, then you obviously doubted she’d respect it, right? So, you wasted your time and I’m sorry, but it seemed like that was never going to work out. Your happily ever after shouldn’t include hiding parts of yourself.”

Leo scoffs. “Every relationship I’ve ever chased has been a waste of my time. You wonder why I don’t like getting committed or monogamy.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever wondered that. I mean, I know that’s exactly what you don’t want.”

“Jasper, I want to fall in love with someone that loves me for once, instead of falling for people that just love the idea or the convenience of me.” Leo looks at Jasper pleadingly.

“Well, right now I’m about to help my sister’s husband impregnate my ex-girlfriend, so is there another time we could work on your love life?”

“Wow, that’s happening already?”

“Turns out she’s ovulating today. I know way too much about the reproductive motions of the women in my life, so just give me a few hours and I’ll be more than happy to go out and spend some time with you talking about men instead of menstruation.”

Leo sighs. “Sure. I’ll be fine. Text you later. Good luck to Beth and all that,” he says, sounding disappointed as he walks back out, taking his phone from his pocket.

“I’ll call you later?” Jasper offers, following him.

“Don’t stress. It’s all good.” Leo fakes a smile and walks off.

Jasper chases after him down the footpath. “Leo, just tell me you’re really alright? It makes me nervous seeing you turn so dismissive.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m gonna hit up a fuck buddy for some pity sex and I’ll be over it by tonight.” Leo calls out. Jasper bites his lip, not sure if this is a good time to suggest that it mightn’t be the best plan to cheat on the girl who hasn’t actually broken up with him yet, with a guy. But this is authentic Leo so, power to him.

Flynn’s car pulls up in the driveway and Jasper gives him a wave, then turns back to Leo. “Okay, well have fun and be careful. I’ll text you tonight and if you want to talk then, we can. I promise.” Jasper assures him.

“Thanks. Sorry, I just turned up and dropped my stupid problems on you.”

“It’s not stupid. I’m sorry you’re going through it.” Jasper puts his arms out for a hug. Leo shrugs and wraps his arms around Jasper, holding him tight like he really needed this.

“Exactly how are you helping your sister’s husband impregnate your ex?” Leo asks.

“Moral support. Lots of cheering. Mostly I’m here so it’s slightly less weird for Beth and Flynn. It’s less weird than helping my husband impregnate my sister, so at least there’s that.”

“I’d better let you go then.” Leo steps back from the hug. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yes. Absolutely. Mission ‘find Leo some compatible life partners’ begins tonight.” Jasper smiles, walking backwards towards the house.

“Can’t wait.” Leo laughs, turning and heading off to his car, his phone to his ear. Before he gets in, Jasper hears him talking to someone and agreeing to ‘be right there’. That’s one way to get over a disappointment or a heartbreak.

Jasper turns and heads inside, making small talk to Flynn on the way inside.

Beth and Ryan are at the kitchen table with four ovulation tests sitting before them, each slightly brighter lines than the last. Before Leo came to the door, Beth had just insisted she wasn’t going to take another, but apparently, she needed proof she hadn’t stopped ovulating within the 15 minutes it took Flynn to get here.

“Sup.” Flynn says, giving Beth a nod like she’s his ‘bro’. Jasper briefly remembers this being the start of every encounter when they were trying to get Grace pregnant. He’d been on the receiving end of that cringe, but this time he gets to grin to himself about how awkward Flynn is.

“Hey, thanks for coming.” Beth smiles at him earnestly, with a sparkle of hope in her eyes.

“He hasn’t done that part yet.” Jasper can’t help himself and the slow blink, shake of the head and the bitten back smile on Ryan’s face is almost as satisfying as Beth’s instant blush.

“Yeah, so. I’ll just do that and then I’ve gotta go get the Ellie from school.” Flynn states, taking out his phone and ear buds. “Where’s the bathroom?”

Jasper points him in the right direction and then sets to work, making Beth a cup of tea. He places it on the table in front of her and kisses her cheek.

“Relax,” he says, rubbing her back.

“I might be pregnant in 10 minutes. You relax.” Beth snaps and it’s genuinely adorable to see her so agitated. Especially when she apologizes a moment later and sips at her tea.

Jasper just grins as he continues to rub her back calmingly. As they wait, he’s also hit with the memory of how agonizingly long this process takes. At least this time, he wasn’t the one doing all the work and getting tired the longer it took. Finally, despite the pressure that makes it difficult to get there, Flynn emerges from the bathroom.

“Good luck. I’ve gotta go.” Flynn throws them the peace sign and turns away, leaving.

Beth takes a deep breath and Jasper massages her shoulders like he’s trying to hype her for the big event. “You better do this before they get cold.” Jasper tells her.

Beth nods, gulps and gets up, walking with shaky legs down the hallway and into the bathroom. Ryan stands and goes to Jasper, slipping an arm around his waist and kissing his cheek.

“I’m so excited for this.” Jasper admits, turning and slipping his arms over Ryan’s shoulders, burying his face against Ryan’s neck. “Is that weird? I’m so emotional about this.”

Ryan smiles and hugs Jasper tight. “It’s not weird at all.”

**** 

Beth lies in the middle of the couch with her legs up over the backrest. Jasper sits on one side of her, with Ryan on the other.

“I love that this is our life.” Jasper laughs.

“I hope this works. I hope so much.” Beth says, closing her eyes and muttering a prayer under her breath. Jasper takes her hand in silent support.

“Jasmyn would love a baby cousin.” Ryan grins over at Jasper who nods, trying not to gush in excitement. There’s no promise this will work the first time, if at all, and he doesn’t want to be so enthusiastic that it hurts more if it’s not successful.

“She would be such a great big cousin! All this practice with her doll.” Beth sighs, with a content smile on her face. Jasper is about to open his mouth and make a comment about his absolute dislike and paranoia about that doll, but he closes it when Beth’s hand squeezes his. This moment was too precious to ruin.