Incandescence - 32. Execute

Wren+

I was floating somewhere…between. I couldn’t tell you where, but it was calm. Peacefull. I hated it. This wasn’t what I wanted. Still tranquilness might make sense for the blond, red eyed weakling I’d been turned into, but he and I weren’t the same person. We hadn’t been for hundreds of years. To the point where I hadn’t recognized him when he stared back at me in a mirror. It wasn’t me. It couldn’t be. I was strong, agile, and powerful. He was weak and…fragile.

Since I’d awoken to Kalian and Talon’s beckoning, I’d hated what I had come back as. I wanted to kill it. It had buried a scared 18 years old in the recesses of my mind long before anyone in my orbit had been born. He was a self-told fairytale. One I would daydream of sometimes whilst Eon was asleep. I’d see myself dashing through mountain paths with others. Friends perhaps. The fantasies would always end with me strapped to a stone table as I was mutilated. There was no bringing that boy back. He’d died on that stone slab all those years ago.

Which was perfect. I didn’t want him back. I didn’t know how to be human anymore. It was behind me and I refused to look back. Paying too much attention to the past would surely make you stumble from the path fate had laid out for you. I was rather okay with the plan so far. Sure, being tortured by my own father was not my favorite part, but I was fearsome. I was a monster of legends. Nothing could stop me and my reputation arrived before I did almost always. I would’ve never accomplished this as a lowly human.

It’d been a long time since I’d felt the kind of pain twisting my insides around. There were whispers all around me. It was a language I used to know. I could pick bits and pieces of it up. I was floating in darkness. Black, clawed hands held my ankles and wrists straight even as I screamed and thrashed. I’d been unable to look for a long time, but I felt another one start. A rune etched by unknown hands into the column of my throat. Every slice brought a flash of white-hot pain that I was beginning to think I wouldn’t survive.

Then, almost as soon as it started, it would finish. The rune would be complete and it’d fade into my skin as if it’d never happened. But I could feel it. I could feel the black Magik singing through me. It was like it’d missed me. Through the pain and restraints, I wanted to survive so I could tell it I missed it too. Hands gripped the sides of my head and part of the dark near my head shuddered. I struggled as it slid up my neck. Then I fought as it slid into my ear. My screams started when it reached my eyes. They were silenced when it filled my mouth. It tasted like fire, pain, and power.

My struggling turned into writhing as I weathered the pain, shuddering at the hum under my skin and the sharp tingles racing through my veins as I was made whole again. Then I was released and fell. Down, down. For so long, I lost track of time. Finally, I hit the ground hard enough to crack some ribs and knock the air out of me. It took a few moments to get my gasping under control. Coughing, I weakly held myself up. White filled the edges of my vision and I lifted my free hand up to grip straight, almost translucent strands. Laughter bubbled up from my bruised insides. I fell into cackles when I noticed the claws extending from the fingers I used to hold myself up.

It turned into full mania when I closed my eyes and inhaled. I could smell what made up the dirt. I could smell how many different victims had painted their humanity on the walls in scarlet. There was fresh blood surrounding me and I recognized it as my own. I managed to sit up through a hysterical fit of laughter as I touched my face. As I looked through the fingers, I watched a rat scurry along the wall on the far side of the room. The dark was no longer a veil to me. Human sight had kept me from all the dark disgusting things I missed from pitch black night.
It never would again.

Kalian+

Arms snuck around my waist and fingers gently pulled my lip from my teeth. I sank back, relaxing into the familiar smell and feel of my husband. His fingers ran gently down and tipped my head back. My eyes slid closed as my head rested on his shoulder and his arm held me closer as he rubbed gentle circles. Lips pressed to my cheek and I sighed.

“They found Wren.”

“It’s been four days! Where has he been? Is he alright?” I turned and tried to open my eyes, but Talon stopped me and forced me to rest more of my weight against him.

“You’re wearing yourself thin, love.”

“Not what I care about right now.”

“He was down below. In the old dungeons. It was awful from what I’ve heard. Guards vomiting and what not.” Talon’s other arm wrapped around me and he slowly maneuvered us into the chair, adjusting me carefully until I was snuggled against him.

“What’s happened?”

“The little monster…wasn’t happy that we gave him mortality.”

“You mean…”

“He apparently remembered enough to curse himself again. The room was painted in blood. As was he. He chewed through a guard’s throat and was tearing into him before others arrived.”

“Was he saved?”

Talon let out a breath that could’ve been a chuckle, “His head was barely still attached my love. It seems he’s made his choice for his future.”

“I wish he wouldn’t have done this to himself again. I know he was unhappy, but he didn’t even give it a chance.” I sighed, playing with the tassels hanging from his black lace shirt.

“I don’t think any of us could begin to imagine what he was going through. Wren had forgotten how to be human and when we gave it back…it was too little too late.”

“How is he now?”

“Gleeful. The second time they went to check on him-with Eon this time-the guard was a pile of bones and armor.”

“Gods.”

“He asked for Wyn.”

I froze. As close as they were, the thought of having my son next to the unhinged, newly reborn monster filled my veins with biting acid, “You said no?”

Fingers rubbed down my back, “I did.”

Relieve surged through me and the angry sizzling under my skin faded. Until Talon continued, “He didn’t listen and snuck down there when everyone was asleep.”

“How? How is a child so good at putting one over on all of us?” I groaned.

Talon laughed, “Darling, we all raised him. He’s an amalgamation of every single one of the most powerful people in Dimian. We knew he would pass us. He’s just going about it far quicker than any of us anticipated. He’s a prodigy.”

“We need to talk about that as well. No one in recorded history has awakened with so many different gifts. He’s going to need answers about where he came from. He wasn’t born in that dungeon Talon.”

“As far as we know. Not all history is recorded. For a reason. Just because there’s proof of him arriving sometime around the age of four-doesn’t mean he wasn’t there before that. Maybe his mother was a prisoner that the king locked down there and forgot about.” Talon murmured, kissing the top of my head.

“That would be horrible.”

“He deserves the truth and I’ll do anything it takes to give it to him.” He said quietly, then, “He has us, love. Even if that was his horrible introduction, he is loved and taken care of. He knows that. No matter what.”

“I’m sure the questions will come soon. I’m surprised he hasn’t already started. Wyn is so perceptive and smart.”

Talon shifted to tip my chin up so he could look at me, “I think it best we have answers then. Before he asks.”

I sighed but nodded, tracing the lace’s design on his shoulder. I rested my face in his neck. We were avoiding the issue at hand with another horrible one. Today was one of the worst days of my life and every time I tried to breathe, it caught on the inhale and my lungs struggled for oxygen. There was a crippling weight balanced on my sternum, my bones creaking under the pressure. He knew all of this. That’s why he was here now. As much as I hated relying on Talon as much as I did, he was often my anchor in the violent storms often taking place behind my eyes, barely contained by my skull.

“You don’t have to do this.”

Normally Talon’s voice this close to my ear might bring forward some other feelings, but I was wrung out and exhausted. Which would be easy to fix if all I required was sleep. It wasn’t that kind of fatigue. My head hurt. The back of my throat ached as I refused to let my emotion slip past my tongue and out my lips. Anything I said wouldn’t help anything. It might relieve some of my inner pain, but it’d make everything else worse. After all these years and everything I’d been through, I seemed to finally be able to think before I spoke.

“I can’t let Eon go alone.” I said after a moment.

“He won’t be. Wren’s mostly normal now. For Wren.” Fingers carded through my hair and I pushed into his touch.

“But Eon…he’s going to be front and center. He’ll be right there when…Wren is not compassionate.” I swallowed hard, forcing my pain back down, “Are Anika and my mother going?”

“Your mother is. She’ll be right next to Eon.”

“There’s nothing we can do?”

“Kalian…he’s committed treason. More than once from his own admission and what evidence we could find in the mansion. He’s not above justice. None of us are.”

I nodded. Part of me-maybe the little boy who hadn’t received enough affection-wanted to fix this. I was one of the most powerful Magik users in the world but I couldn’t disrupt the rules our newest government had put in place. Lyme, Hanja, and Tyren had worked too many long hours for me to even consider it. Plus, what message would that send? That we were above the law or those close to us were favored. Eon was, as always, being so impossibly strong about this. He was the one that would read the list of charges and the decided upon punishment. I would be there to support him. I had to be.

“Is… everything your feeling, the scramble of thoughts in that pretty head, to do with it being your father, or is it…something else?” Talon asked softly.

“I don’t know. Some of it’s that my father…is my father. He was this imposing force, floating over my head my whole life. Reminding me that I was a disappointment every time he looked at me. For gods’ sake, as soon as Mallex broached the subject of marriage the man was practically foaming at the mouth. He was so excited to be rid of me.”

I inhaled deeply and let it out slow, “Even when I came into my power, he was still thinking of how it could benefit them. My mother too. To my brain or maybe my heart, it doesn’t matter. He’s my dad and a shriveled part hidden away in the deepest chambers of my heart and mind has always wanted to feel like he loved me. Me. Not my power. Not what I could do for the family. I don’t think he ever really saw me as a person. Why do you think it was so easy for him to cut me off?”

Talon’s arms wrapped tight around me and I leaned into the tight grip, humming softly when the squeeze loosened some of the pressure on my chest, “It’s not your fault that the man was too stupid to see what a gift all his children were. If he’d simply loved and nurtured you all-imagine how strong you’d all be now.”

I shook my head, “That would’ve expecting far too much from a father.”

It seemed strange that the weather was perfect, the sun shining just enough to balance the chill in the wind. I fiddled with my sleeves and Talon took my hand, linking our fingers. I couldn’t look ahead and I couldn’t look at Eon. So I looked at my feet, or at Talon. His raised our joined and kissed my fingers gently. Red, orange, and yellow leaves had settled on the ground, making a patchwork of fall. The grass was still green. There was so much color, so much life. It was beautiful.

What was happening wasn’t going to be.

Eon was doing wonderfully. Normal people wouldn’t notice how hard his jaw was clenched when he was in parade rest, or the pain woven into his tone when he spoke. I didn’t know how my brother was doing it, but he was. Announcing charges one after the other. It was much like Anders’ trial had been. I let my eyes slip closed for a minute. It’d been a long while since I’d thought of that day and what a tragedy it’d almost been.

Some part of my brain registered that Eon had stopped speaking. Talon’s grip on my fingers tightened a bit and he pulled me to him as I fell back into the conversation at the worst point, “…the punishment for which is execution. Per the general and Lord Verloren, you are graced with a private one. You should be grateful to them.”

This judge had been at my trial too. There weren’t many of us here. My mother had insisted my father wouldn’t go through this alone. She’d done the customary preparations for him herself. I barely recognized him when he was brought into the room. He was wearing a simple pair of leggings and an undershirt. My mother’s tasks had involved cleaning him up. In an attempt to give the man some dignity even though many didn’t believe he deserved it.

“Do you have any final words?” Anika and I glanced at Eon simultaneously when he stumbled over the ‘final’ part. I hurt for him. Just standing here was awful enough, let alone being responsible for half the needlessly long ceremony. You’d think he was being awarded some kind of prize. Not being readied for his execution.

My father looked up at Eon and his face remained emotionless, but his jaw was clenched so hard I thought his teeth might break, “Well, all my useless children in one room at last. One a general, the other a lord, and the third…still useless.”

“If you mean to insu-“

“Tell me Kalian. You’ve given up your name so many times now, who are you? Proud of yourself? You took everything from me. You ruined our name. Is that why you went and got another?”

“You ruined your own name.” Anika said quietly from the other side of Eon, “Your tarnished name will go with you and you will be judged with it hanging over your head.”

I grit my teeth and moved from Talon, crouching in front of the man I’d once idolized as a little boy, “No matter what name I tack onto the end of my first, you can die well knowing I am not your son. Your bloodline dies with you. None of your children will reproduce and Eon’s deeds will make you fade from history.”

Talon pulled me back gently and Eon nodded to someone over my shoulder, “Everything has been explained to you, correct?”

“Get on with it!”

“You’ve failed to answer, so I will assume that’s a negation. I will walk you through it. Ellenion Alauis the chains that are being secured to your wrists are a simple metal. Nothing unique about them. Once you are settled, Magik will be fed into your body until it gives out. Your time of death will be confirmed and you will be buried without military acknowledgment in a pauper’s grave. Through Lord Kalian Verloren and my, General Eon Alauis’, kindness, you will be given a headstone. This is an honor as you would usually buried nameless so as to be forgotten properly.”

“How will I be forgotten if I’ve a tombstone?” My father snapped, glaring at Eon.

“Your final resting place will be the foundation for the rebuilding of Krinn. Through your actions, you wiped out generations. We offer them what little justice we can.” Eon said. He suddenly looked exhausted, his hand running over his face, “I-it’ll be near the tree you used to read to me under.”

Eon coughed to hide what I realized was a quickly slipping shell. My father sneered, “I don’t even remember what you’re talking about.”

“Alternatively, I can rip your bones from your skin and cast them into the ocean near the port you gave to the enemy.” Talon growled. I was a little startled that he was coming to Eon’s defense. A spark of joy lit in my heart that perhaps their friendship could be mended. However, this was nor the time or place to think about such things.

“Please, Talon. Silence.” Eon sighed and motioned to the small Magik user that’d been waiting behind us. Her hands were neatly folded in front of her as her lips stopped moving with her silent prayers. None of us were religious, but my father had been, so I’m sure he appreciated the words. At least the last ones he heard would be those of the gods.

Talon tried to pull me to him and block my vision but I pulled away, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Eon. My mother was crying. It was quiet. My eyes flicked to her. Instead of looking at my father, she was looking at my siblings and I. Covering her mouth as she took everything in. I suppose it must be traumatizing to have your children formally execute your husband.

My father stared at each of us defiantly and then landed on Eon again. He met his gaze, refusing to look away. The Magik user stepped forward and Eon’s body tensed next to me as every bone in my body shattered, stuck itself back together, only to break again. That’s when the screaming started. The flames reflected off my brother’s eyes, glazed with tears he’d never shed. His face was still blank, but his eyes told me everything I needed to know. He didn’t look away.

Even when it was the end, my brother’s eyes stayed locked on the same spot. A full day later, Talon and Wren would have to force him from the room. Then Anika took care of him for the rest of the week. I’d visit, but I was already so broken, looking at my brother, frozen in grief, made my pieces shake and fall further apart. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to stick them together again. I didn’t even know if I still possessed all of them.