Twinks in Space: Fantastic Voyage - Part Two - 56. Chapter 56 - The Bonanza - Part 2

With the children’s story time ended, the performance in Her Majesty’s Hole changed gears. The afternoon was coming to an end, and some of the queens had prepared a meal for everyone at the tavern. A few others were going to be putting on a show while the guests ate.

The crowd inside Her Majesty’s Hole moved themselves against the interior walls of the tavern, allowing space for several very muscly assistants of the queens to carry tables out onto the dance floor.

Captain Suoki leaned toward Lyoth and whispered, “Oooh, daddy likey!”

The beefy men then hauled armfuls of chairs out and set them up along only one side of the tables, the side facing the stage. The children were still there, and their parents helped them, as everyone in attendance seated themselves, and the hunky men began to bring out trays of food.

A bearded queen in a puffy floral dress stepped up onto the stage and spoke with a thick accent. “We’ve got big ol’ pots o’ gumbo an’ curry comin’ out for ya. There’s layered pasta dishes an’ plates o’ sausages. You might see a fancy jambalaya; that one were made by yours truly!” She gave the crowd a flourish, and a few of them whooped at her. “Them handsome fellas is also bringin’ out roasted veggies an’ rice-stuffed squash. They’s got salads, an’ loaves o’ bread, an’ a bunch of cheese. You ’bout ta have a feast! An’ actually, save me a seat. This ol’ broad’s hungry!”

She left the stage, and a trio of her glamor sisters took the spotlight.

“Hey, gurls,” one of them said to the other two, “why don’t we introduce ourselves to this lovely audience?” She waved out at the crowd.

“That sounds perfect,” replied the second.

“Why don’t you go ahead?” recommended the third.

The first queen bowed and declared with a wink, “They call me Oint Mint!” She was dressed in an evening gown of lavender and burgundy sequins. Her wig towered above her head, and red and purple ribbons were woven through it. “Us gals are here to put on a little show for you hungry folks. You don’t mind if we entertain you a bit while you eat, do ya?” Oint Mint let out a little giggle.

The muscle men were serving the seated attendees, who cheered on the diva and shouted that they would love a show, and the first queen bowed to the second.

Oint Mint stepped back, as the next performer stated, “I am Mademoiselle Pigeon, and Oint Mint is right; we’ve got a show for you!” Mademoiselle Pigeon was wearing a pale yellow dress with deep blue pinstripes, and her high heels matched. A red wig was affixed to her head styled with large ringlets that bounced as she moved. “And may I present our final gurl? This is the stunning Mommy Zombie!”

Mommy Zombie curtsied. She was in white and green with accents of black. “Mademoiselle Pigeon knows what she’s talking about. I am Mommy Zombie, and we have a little spectacle prepared for your viewing pleasure.”

Slinky music started thumping quietly in the background, as Oint Mint hopped up to the front of the stage again. She cooed to the audience, “I’ve got a secret.” She giggled. “It’s just a little secret, but I think I want to tell you.”

The crowd made noises of encouragement.

“Well okay, I’m in love! I’m in love, and I don’t care who knows,” she exclaimed. Oint Mint spun around once and blew the audience a kiss. “The person I’m in love with, she’s here tonight with all of us. She’s here in this very room. I’ve been keeping my feelings secret, but I’m ready to let you know.” Oint Mint brought her hand to her face in a coy expression. “Do you want to know? Want me to spill that tea?”

The crowd begged for her to share the details. They were all starting to eat their meals.

“Well okay, I’ll tell you. She’s a very special lady,” Oint Mint began to explain. “She’s tall, and strong, and flexible,” she added, flashing the audience a mischievous smile and they laughed. “I’m in love with her, and I just don’t know what to do! The girl of my dreams,” the diva said with a pause, “is Mademoiselle Pigeon.”

The audience ooohed and aaahed, as Mademoiselle Pigeon replaced Oint Mint at the front of the stage.

“Isn’t love a funny thing?” Mademoiselle Pigeon asked the crowd with a flirty laugh. “I just don’t know what to do! Oint Mint is fabulous! She’s stunning and loving and a stage-slayer.” Mademoiselle Pigeon stomped one of her high heels. “But I need to confess, I’ve actually been feeling feelingy feelings about somebody else.” She looked right and left, leaned forward with the back of her hand by the side of her mouth, and she whispered conspiratorially, “I’m in love with Mommy Zombie.”

The crowd laughed and screamed at the predictable announcement from the diva.

Mademoiselle Pigeon stepped back, and Mommy Zombie strutted to the front. “Are all of you already privy to what comes next?”

Many of the people seated below enjoying their meals nodded or made little noises of confirmation.

“Because I too have found love in my life, and her name is Oint Mint.”

Several voices cried out Oh no!

“It’s true,” Mommy Zombie continued. “The heart can’t help whom it loves, and we’ve got ourselves a good old-fashioned love standoff!”

The other two queens stepped up and linked arms with Mommy Zombie in between them.

“I love her,” Mommy Zombie reiterated, nodding toward Oint Mint, “but she loves me,” Mommy Zombie added, tilting her head toward Mademoiselle Pigeon, “and she loves her!” the diva concluded, swinging her head back over to Oint Mint and then to Mademoiselle Pigeon once more. “What are we to do?”

The music’s volume increased, and the trio sang in unison.

I love she

And she loves me

But I love her

And her loves she

I love thee

And thou loves me

But one, two, three

Do you love me?

The queens stayed linked with their arms together, but Mademoiselle Pigeon and Mommy Zombie turned to Oint Mint as she sang.

I can see

It’s plain to be

That you and me

Should probably

Go see the sea

So eventually

You will fall in love with me

Oint Mint giggled, and she and Mommy Zombie focused on Mademoiselle Pigeon, who sang next.

Can you believe

That I conceived

To guarantee

That you’d agree

In make believe

And magic keys

So you would fall in love with me

Mommy Zombie then sang alone, and Oint Mint and Mademoiselle Pigeon watched her.

Now if you please

I won’t deceive

It may all seem

Hard to believe

I may not be

What you perceived

But baby, fall in love with me

The music dropped, and Phentrom whispered to Lyoth, “They’re quite good singers.”

Mademoiselle Pigeon then addressed her sisters, “Hey, gals, why don’t we all go out on a date with the person we like, and see if there’s a little mutual magic between any of us?”

“I think that sounds fab,” Oint Mint replied, “and I don’t mind if you two would like to go first.”

The spotlight on the divas split, as Mommy Zombie and Mademoiselle Pigeon headed in one direction, and Oint Mint remained at center stage. When they were gone, Oint Mint leaned forward, and she whispered loud enough for the audience to hear. “I really hope they don’t hit it off. I’d hate to miss my chance at being with Mademoiselle Pigeon.”

Oint Mint strutted in the opposite direction of her two stage sisters, and the spotlight followed her. As she exited, Mommy Zombie and Mademoiselle Pigeon came strolling back on from the other side.

“What a beautiful park,” Mommy Zombie declared with a beaming smile, while looking at nothing more than the bare stage in Her Majesty’s Hole. “Thank you for inviting me for a walk in nature. This is just delightful!”

Mademoiselle Pigeon looked excited. “You really like it? I was hoping you would. It means so much to me that you were willing to give me a chance.”

Mommy Zombie hooked her arm into Mademoiselle Pigeon’s and snuggled close to her fellow queen, as the two meandered from one side of the stage to the other. They turned and headed back toward where they entered.

“It has been wonderful to get to know you,” Mommy Zombie confirmed, “and I feel like we’ve really made a connection. Thank you for sharing yourself with me today.”

“It’s been an absolute joy,” Mademoiselle Pigeon replied with love in her eyes. “I’m so happy that you feel like we could be close.”

Their conversation ended as they exited again, and Oint Mint returned to the stage alone.

“I hope they don’t feel like they could be close!” she declared.

Some audience members chuckled at the predicament, and others let out sympathetic aaawwws.

Mademoiselle Pigeon and Mommy Zombie returned. The two of them were giggling together, and Oint Mint pouted at the sight of them. “Looks like you two had fun,” she said in a whiny voice.

“We did indeed,” Mommy Zombie exclaimed, and before Oint Mint could reply, the diva added, “but it’s time for you two to have your date.”

Oint Mint’s frown became a look of elation.

“Before any of us make a big decision,” Mommy Zombie added. “I think you both deserve a chance too, and I’d hate to prevent you from connecting with her.”

Mademoiselle Pigeon looked reluctant to leave Mommy Zombie, but the queens parted, and together, Oint Mint and Mademoiselle Pigeon headed offstage. Mommy Zombie was alone for a moment, staring longingly at the pair as they left, and she turned to the audience. “Did I just make an enormous mistake?” She scurried to the other side of the stage and disappeared from view.

The husky hunk in a tutu who had carried Frau Meow’s purse onto the stage for her now returned to the spotlight, carrying a plain wooden chair. He set it down at the center of the stage facing sideways, and he twirled on his toes as he released it. He smiled at the crowd, blew them a kiss, and pranced back offstage again.

When he was gone, the spotlight died, and the audience could see Mademoiselle Pigeon and Oint Mint position themselves in the darkness. The lights returned. Mademoiselle Pigeon was in the chair, and Oint Mint was standing backward a few paces in front of her. She was pantomiming the act of cooking, and her performance was clear to the audience.

“Your home is lovely,” Mademoiselle Pigeon commented, looking around the empty stage. “And that smells divine!”

Oint Mint smiled over her shoulder at Mademoiselle Pigeon. “It’s a family recipe! My drag mama used to make this every Sunday like clockwork. Tick tock!” She bobbed her head back and forth. “I hope you think it tastes as good as it smells.”

Mademoiselle Pigeon leaned toward the crowd and whispered loudly, “I’m not sure about this date. Her cooking for me is sweet and all, but I’m just kind of sitting here.” She shrugged.

Oint Mint pretended to plate the food and carried it over to Mademoiselle Pigeon. “Here you are. I hope you enjoy it.”

Mademoiselle Pigeon mimed taking a dainty bite, and her face lit up with delight, as Oint Mint explained.

“One of the ways I show affection is through cooking. I hope you can taste the love I put into preparing it for you. I’ve always thought of the way I combine ingredients in a recipe as if I’m casting a spell.” She twirled around on the spot. “A little of this, a little of that, a little salt, a little spice, a little herb, and the magic from being heated over a little fire; the end result is greater than all the individual parts.” Oint Mint turned to the audience with a mischievous smile. “Let’s hope my love potion works!”

The spotlights were extinguished again as the two queens left, and the adorable assistant in his tutu returned to remove the chair.

Mommy Zombie stepped into the spotlight at the side of the stage. “Is it wrong of me to hope that Oint Mint hasn’t won over Mademoiselle Pigeon, and I might still have a chance? Oint Mint is the gal of my dreams!”

Mademoiselle Pigeon and Oint Mint stepped back into the spotlight, and as they approached Mommy Zombie, Mademoiselle Pigeon kissed Oint Mint’s cheek. “I feel like I learned so much about you through your cooking. Thank you, but now it’s time for you and Mommy Zombie to see if there’s any chemistry.” Mademoiselle Pigeon kissed Oint Mint again, and she left them together on the stage.

Oint Mint’s eyes lingered on Mademoiselle Pigeon, but then she reached out for Mommy Zombie. “Do you have something special planned for us?”

“Come with me,” Mommy Zombie replied with a sweet smile.

They left the stage hand in hand, and at the tables below, the queens’ muscular assistants returned and began clearing the used and empty dishes from the tables.

Mommy Zombie and Oint Mint returned. They stood side by side and began bopping their heads in unison.

“Wow, this is a great band!” Oint Mint called out, pretending to have to talk over live music.

“I’ve been a fan of them since I was little…” Mommy Zombie paused and gave the audience a knowing look as she whispered, “a little boy!” She turned back to Oint Mint. “And they’ve been with me ever since. Their lyrics have always expressed what I feel inside. It’s hard for me to get it out, but their music has always spoken to me and for me. I’m glad you’re here enjoying them with me.”

“I’m glad to be here with you too,” Oint Mint replied. She wrapped both hands around Mommy Zombie’s upper arm and nuzzled against her shoulder.

The lights died again, and when they returned, the three divas were standing together.

“It turns out,” Mademoiselle Pigeon said to the crowd.

“All three of us are very fond of each other,” Mommy Zombie continued.

“And there seemed to be only one solution to our conundrum,” Oint Mint declared.

“So we’ve decided,” Mademoiselle Pigeon added.

“What makes the most sense,” Mommy Zombie said with a nod.

“Is for the three of us,” Oint Mint giggled.

“To all to date each other!” they concluded together.

The trio linked arms again, and they left the stage as one, to uproarious applause.