Twinks in Space: Fantastic Voyage - Part Two - 36. Chapter 36 - Nunta & Lyoth

With the door locked behind Lyoth, Nunta sat down in a chair and pulled her knees to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs and stared out the window at the star-speckled blackness of space. Lyoth seated himself on the floor against the far wall across from her.

“I’m sorry for taking you,” he said gently. “I realize now that it was wrong of us to take you away from the Entry of Ecstasy. I’m Lyoth.”

Nunta did not look at him.

“You were eleven?” Lyoth asked.

She did not reply.

“Your mother told us you were eleven when you first joined Mama goddess. Is that right?”

Nunta nodded once and stated, “She’s not my mother.”

“I’m sorry, again, and I’ll call her Alihte,” Lyoth assured her. “Mama goddess must have taught you many things, Nunta, over your years with her.”

She looked in Lyoth’s direction but not at him, as he continued in a soft voice.

“Mama goddess became your everything, didn’t she? You really love her, and I know she loves you.”

Nunta made eye contact with Lyoth.

He gave her a small smile and continued. “I think I understand the fifth dimension; the fourth dimension is time, right?” he ventured. “And does that make the fifth spirit?” The young woman did not say anything so Lyoth changed topics. “What if we discuss Mama goddess instead? I want to know her. Would you please tell me about her, Nunta?”

She did not smile at his words, but she replied. “Mama goddess showed us the way.” Nunta spoke with reverence in her voice. “Mama goddess was preparing us for ascension to the fifth-dimensional starship. I’ve never wanted anything as badly as I want to go on that ship.” Her tone became icier. “If the ship arrives while I’m away because of you all…”

“Doesn’t Mama goddess still need to process all the sins?” Lyoth interrupted in a calm voice. “Doesn’t the fifth-dimensional ship need to wait until the right time? I promise you, Nunta, we will get you back to Mama goddess before the ascension,” and he repeated, “I promise.” Nunta frowned at him, but his next words got her talking. “Please, Nunta, tell me what I need, to believe in Mama goddess. I want her depth of love in my soul too.”

The young woman replied with a tone of voice that was a little brighter. “Mama goddess is like the perfect mother. She accepts all of us with our faults and imperfections. Her perfectness purifies us. Mama goddess will illuminate the universe. She is the heart and soul of us all. Mama goddess is love.” While speaking, Nunta almost looked like she was on the verge of being happy.

“I like the way you talk about her, and may I please say,” Lyoth added, “thank you for not swearing. I found it a little jarring, the way Mama goddess spoke with a lot of curse words.”

Nunta shrugged and said, “That’s just the way Mama goddess talks.”

Lyoth could tell she was beginning to open up, and he offered, “Nunta, may I prepare you a little food? I don’t have much, but it would make me so happy to throw something together for you.”

Nunta looked skeptical and curious at the same time. “Okay, I guess. When’s dinnertime?”

Lyoth turned to the clock. He had no idea when the Entry of Ecstasy’s single daily mealtime happened, but he declared, “It was an hour and a half ago. Are you feeling hungry?”

“I think I am.”

“Would you let me take you to the ship’s kitchen?”

She shrugged again and repeated, “I guess so.”

They unlocked the door and came out of the room.

Stawren and Alihte were waiting, but Lyoth spoke first. “Do you two mind letting us head into the kitchen together for a bit?”

Alihte began to protest, but Stawren took her hand, and the two women made their way to the bridge.

Lyoth waved in the opposite direction down the ship’s hall. “Nunta, it’s this way. What would you like? I don’t have any apples, cheese, or bread, but could I fry you an egg or a piece of ham.”

She looked less than intrigued, and she scrunched up her nose. “What are those?”

“Ham and eggs?” Lyoth asked in reply. “Why don’t I make you some, and you can decide if you like them.”

They entered the kitchen, and Lyoth focused back on Nunta’s beliefs as he took the eggs out of the refrigeration unit. “Mama goddess loves you, doesn’t she?”

The young woman smiled for the first time since waking up. “Mama goddess loves everyone! She is the incarnation of love itself. If love came to life, it would be Mama goddess.” Nunta paused. “No wait, I mean, love did come to life as Mama goddess. She’s the hope that all people hold in their hearts, even if they don’t know their hope comes from her.”

Lyoth cracked two eggs into a bowl, and Nunta became silent and fixated. He tossed the shells into an auto-composter and extended the dish with the slimy contents in her direction.

“What are those?” whispered Nunta.

“Eggs,” Lyoth replied with a grin. He placed a pan onto his kitchen’s heating element, spooned in a large knob of butter, and it began to sizzle. The aroma was immediately intoxicating to Nunta, and she sniffed hard at the air. Lyoth chuckled and offered, “Would you like to help me?” She looked perplexed, but she nodded to him. “Here, why don’t you carefully pour the eggs into the pan?” He handed Nunta the bowl and informed her, “The yellow parts will break if you let them fall too hard.” Lyoth turned back to his refrigeration unit and took out the ham.

“Oh no! One of them broke,” Nunta exclaimed behind him.

Lyoth looked over his shoulder and smiled at her. “That’s no problem at all.” He picked up a piece of the cold ham and enjoyed a bite. “Wanna try it like this,” he offered, “or should we heat it up?” He tore off a small piece and extended it to Nunta.

She tentatively took the meat and nibbled it. Her eyes widened and she stuffed the rest of the morsel into her mouth.

“Good, isn’t it?” Lyoth asked with a laugh. “Would you like me to help you flip the eggs?”

Nunta turned back to the pan. “Yes, please, but what about the broken one?”

“I’ll demonstrate with that one,” Lyoth replied, “and you can try flipping the other. And thank you for being so polite.” He selected a spatula from the drawer and turned over the egg with the broken yolk. “Confidence is key!”

Nunta took the cooking tool from him as if it was some sort of holy relic.

“The key is confidence,” Lyoth repeated. “Slide it under and give it a flip.”

She followed his instruction and rotated the spatula, but the yolk burst as it hit the pan. “No!” Nunta cried, but Lyoth let out a cackle that made Nunta snort a little laugh. She brought her free hand to her face and frowned at herself. “Why are you doing this?!” she snapped.

Lyoth knew she meant something along the lines of why was he trying to corrupt her, but he responded as if she had asked why he was frying eggs. “Because they’re still going to be delicious! We need to season them,” he continued, ignoring her incredulous expression and speaking up when she tried to interject. “I’ll sprinkle a little salt, but will you please grind some pepper on the eggs while they finish cooking?” He extended her a wooden hand-mill with a metal crank at its top, in exchange for the spatula. “Turn the handle and the pepper will come out of the bottom.” Lyoth laid a thick slab of ham onto the pan in the space between the two eggs as Nunta ground pepper over them. “Those are done,” he informed her. “Would you like to serve them onto a plate for yourself?”

Nunta traded the grinder back to Lyoth for the spatula again, and she held the plate he gave her right next to the frying pan. She scooped one egg and then the other onto it.

“You go ahead and try those, Nunta,” Lyoth urged, setting her at the table with a fork. “I’ll finish cooking the ham.”

Nunta picked up the utensil, used its edge to slice off a bite-sized piece of egg, and she stuck it in her mouth. Flavors exploded across her tongue that hinted at long-forgotten memories. “Oh my gods,” she mumbled, and she shoveled a larger chunk of fried egg into her mouth. “Thish ish sho good!”

Lyoth spooned bubbling butter over the ham. “Finished with this also,” he informed her. He picked up the pan by its handle and brought it toward Nunta’s plate. “It’s hot!” Lyoth laid the steaming meat onto her plate and handed her a sharp knife.

The first bite Nunta took of the warm buttery ham was like a magic spell hitting her taste buds. She chewed in awe and swallowed. “Winter solstice,” she whispered, and she turned to Lyoth. “My mother used to make this at the winter solstice.” Her eyes began to sparkle.

“Do you mean your real mother and not Mama goddess?” Lyoth asked gently.

Nunta started to cry. “How did I forget about food?” Then the words of Mama’s teachings rang in her head. “No, this is all a temptation! What am I doing?! Third-dimensional food and people are corrupting me! Just leave me alone!”

Lyoth did not reply to her, but he reached forward and sliced off a small piece of her ham for himself. Nunta hesitated and stared at him as he stuck the bite into his mouth. He sat down across from her and hummed as he chewed. “I’m not trying to corrupt or upset you,” he said out of the corner of his mouth. “I simply like the way these things taste.” He pointed at her plate. “Thought you might enjoy them too, but I don’t mind eating the rest of it if you’re not into the food.” He swallowed. “Nunta, I want to understand the things you believe. Was I right? Is the fifth dimension spirit, or is it somehow related to spiritual things? Help me understand.”

Nunta took another small bite, but she did not answer his question, and instead mumbled to herself, “Why did Mama goddess keep this from us?” She was looking down at her eggs and ham.

Lyoth shook his head. “Maybe it’s because she’s worried you would put too much love into food, love that she thinks ought to be reserved for her.”

“Mama goddess deserves all our love.” She stared at him. “Why are you doing this?”

“I’m just curious. Aren’t you curious, Nunta?” Lyoth reached across the table and took another bite of Nunta’s food, and her brow inadvertently furrowed at his action, as if something inside her did not want him taking any more of her ham and eggs. The plate was in front of her, but Nunta pulled it right to the edge of the table, as close as she could get it to herself. Lyoth chewed the bite and said, “Mama goddess does deserve your love, but Nunta, I’ve got a question about her love.”

“Yes?”

“Do you feel like you also deserve love like that?”

Nunta replied immediately. “Mama goddess’ love is all anyone needs.”

“But think about the way you love her,” Lyoth continued, “and imagine someone out there loved you with the same passion that you love Mama goddess. Do you think that might be possible?”

Nunta was not persuaded of anything. “The love of another besides Mama goddess is unnecessary, and I’m no match for her; why would anyone love me the way I worship Mama goddess?”

“Okay,” Lyoth replied, “may I ask you a follow-up question?”

Nunta looked like she was not sure, but she said, “Alright.”

Lyoth planned his words for a second. “There’s this mental exercise I like to do with my own thoughts; it can be a little challenging. The practice is to take an idea or belief, and I ask myself what it would take for me to believe the opposite. So here’s my question. What would it take for you to believe that you and Mama goddess are on the same level?”

Nunta scrunched up her face. “Nothing, she’s the final incarnation of all the gods and goddesses that have ever been. I’m just a person.”

Lyoth gestured with his hands like he was trying to gather his thoughts. “So is it fair to say that if it turned out you, Nunta, were also all the gods and goddesses, then would you and Mama goddess be on the same level?”

Nunta rejected his line of thinking. “That’s absurd. I’m not reincarnated.”

Lyoth pressed on, “Okay, so what about the opposite? What if – hypothetically – it turned out Mama goddess was not their reincarnation, would she and you be on the same level then?”

“But she is.”

Lyoth put up his palms and said with a chuckle, “I’m not trying to argue, just having fun with this thought experiment. It’s supposed to challenge you; it’s supposed to help you strengthen your beliefs, and it also helps you remove old or negated ideas.” He paused to think. “I’ll do the experiment on myself. Here’s a question I need answered. What would it take for me to believe everything you’ve told me about Mama goddess? Nunta, what do you think about that thought? Is it a good one for me to challenge?”

She made a doubtful face but said again, “I guess so.”

Lyoth rubbed his knuckles against the stubble on his cheek and repeated himself. “Alright, what would make me believe Mama goddess is the reincarnation of all the gods and goddesses who came before her? Well, I think she would need to be able to do things other people can’t, like perform miracles or magic.”

“There’s no such thing as magic,” Nunta stated flatly. She took another bite of eggs and ham.

Lyoth smiled. “And that’s why if she could do magic, I would believe in her. What else would make me believe in Mama goddess?” he questioned. “I suppose if she knew and shared details about the lives lived by the gods and goddesses who she claims to be, information that was verifiable from the planets all around the universe where those deities are worshiped, I think that would also help me believe in her.”

Nunta shot Lyoth a scowl and asked, “So as long as Mama goddess told you good stories, you’d believe in her?”

Lyoth snickered. “I’d need to be able to look up the information, but yes.”

“Well that’s stupid,” Nunta stated. “Seems like you’re someone who would be easily duped.”

Lyoth spoke gently. “I don’t believe in Mama goddess, but I’m trying to come up with things that would change my mind. I usually like to figure out five possibilities for myself, but do you mind if we try again with you?”

Nunta frowned and said, “I guess not. What do you want me to try and think?”

“Maybe what I suggested before was too extreme. How about this? What would it take for you to believe someone could love you as much as you love Mama goddess?”

“Nothing,” Nunta repeated.

Lyoth did not say anything in reply.

Nunta crossed her arms, and Lyoth went to take another bite of the remaining food on the plate, but she pushed his hand away.

Oh, sorry, he mouthed. He left the last few bites for her and remained silent.

After a moment, Nunta asked, “Is that it?” Lyoth stayed quiet, and she added, “If someone loved me as much as I love Mama goddess, I would think that person was insane.”

Lyoth was impressed, and his face said as much, but he still did not speak.

“It wouldn’t make any sense for someone to love me like I love Mama goddess. I worship her. She is the reincarnation of…”

Lyoth rolled his eyes and let out a dramatic sigh, interrupting Nunta.

She glared at him but tried to refocus. “I don’t know what I’d think if someone loved me as much as I love Mama goddess.”

Lyoth gave Nunta a kind smile and finally replied. “But what would it take to believe someone could love you that much?”

Nunta scoffed. “You want me to come up with why someone would love me as much as I love Mama goddess?”

“How about just one reason?”

Nunta thought for a moment and grumbled, “I don’t like this experiment.” She sucked her teeth and said almost resentfully, “I think it would make me feel really special if someone loved me as much as I love Mama goddess.”

It was not what Lyoth was expecting her to say, but he encouraged, “I bet you would feel really special.”

“I don’t know how I could ever end up meaning as much to another person as Mama goddess means to me.” Nunta took a breath and continued with a shudder. “It’s scary even to think about it.”

“That’s a great point,” Lyoth stated. “Let me ask, what do you know about Mama goddess as a person, you know, who she was before people started calling her Mama goddess? Do you know her real name?”

Nunta looked like she thought the question was preposterous, but as it percolated in her mind for a moment, she realized that she knew almost nothing about the woman she idolized. She did not say anything.

“How old are you, Nunta?” Lyoth asked, even though he already knew the answer.

“I’m nineteen.”

Lyoth continued in a gentle voice. “Mama goddess had a normal name once. She used to be someone other than just that title. Somewhere underneath, there’s a nineteen year old girl who was probably a lot like you.”

Nunta squinted at him. “I don’t understand.”

“Well, I would guess that Mama goddess is close to my age,” Lyoth explained. “She’s probably in her mid-thirties, but who was she when she was nineteen, or even younger? Was she still Mama goddess way back when she was just a little kid playing with worms in the dirt?”

Nunta struggled to picture the commanding woman she worshiped as a child. “Mama goddess has always been like a mother to me.”

“But even your real mother, Alihte, also used to be a kid once, long before you were born.” Lyoth placed his hand on Nunta’s forearm. “You mentioned memories of winter solstices when you were young; tell me something you remember from that time, maybe when Alihte made you some food you liked.”

Nunta stared at Lyoth. “She used to grind mustard seeds and make this spicy dip for the ham. I used to help her mix it.”

“That sounds fun and delicious. Your mother used to shine bright, and she could use our help to shine again. Alihte wasn’t always the scared, sad woman she is now. Her light has dimmed, Nunta; Mama goddess sucked a lot of it out of her. Everything that you Children do feeds into Mama goddess, because yes, she’s worthy of love just like everyone, but she doesn’t replenish you. Your real mother’s soul has been drained, sapped, and she wanted to get you, her daughter, out of there before the same thing happened to you.”

Nunta’s ferocity returned in a flash. “The woman who birthed me isn’t worthy to be one of Mama goddess’ chosen few! Alihte was a false follower, and it’s her own fault that she didn’t accept replenishment by Mama goddess! It’s her fault, not Mama goddess’ fault. Take me back! Take me back to the Entry of Ecstasy right now! I am a true believer, and I need to be in the presence of Mama goddess again! Bring me home!” She stopped shouting, and Lyoth did not reply right away. The temporary silence made Nunta feel awkward, and she added in an angry voice, “Can I go now?”

Lyoth stood and went to pick up the empty plate in front of her, but she guarded it. “It’s all gone, hunny. I could make you a little more if you’d like,” he offered with a smile. “Seems to me you enjoyed it.”

Nunta allowed him to take the empty plate, and he noticed that she paused to consider a second course. Lyoth turned his back on her, so as not to make her feel any pressure one way or the other about the food, but he was glad when she asked quietly from behind him, “Can I help you make it again?”

He looked over at her. “Sure, and why don’t we fry up enough this time so I can have my own plate and don’t need to steal more from yours?” He let out another cackle, and he was surprised that Nunta was trying to suppress a laugh of her own.

Lyoth cracked a few more eggs into the bowl, started heating up the delicious-smelling butter, and then he sighed. He looked into Nunta’s eyes as she stepped up beside him at the stove. “Alihte is a broken woman,” he said softly, “and it’s going to take a lot of love to fix her.” His words hung in the air.