Another Ordinary Guy - 6. Chapter 6

During the next year, Ricky toured America and Europe. The closest thing he had to call home was a hotel bed, usually occupied by one…him.

When his album was released it was an instant success, and it climbed rapidly to the top of the charts. He named the album, Tempting Fate, and ironically, it contained thirteen original songs by Ricky Albert. The airwaves and the smart phones were full of his music. Three songs from the album were in the top twenty.

One of the songs had a haunting, melancholy melody. The lyrics were simple and repetitive:

I keep trying

I keep trying

Trying to figure out

Trying to figure out

Figure out

Figure out

Who I am

Who I am

Who am I?

Who am I?

Why Can’t I

Can’t I

Figure out

Who I am?

****

The lyrics were an obvious reference to his homosexuality. He wanted to let the world know, but lacked the courage to shout it out. He could only express his frustration through his art.

He stayed in constant touch with Red and Larry. His cupid darts had found the right hearts. His two friends were happily ensconced in the same bed, and they were looking after his apartment for him. They made sure that the temperature and the humidity in the apartment were always just right to protect his piano. It was, in fact, a precious instrument.

When he arranged the tour, Ricky made sure he would not be on the road during the week before and after his twenty-first birthday. It was important for him to spend his coming of age with his family and best friends. His parents and sisters were planning a big birthday bash for him in Red Bank, the first Saturday he got home. When they asked for a guest list from him, all he could come up with were Red and Larry, and his childhood friend and school mate, Joey Carson. He thought about that; he thought he should be hurt to have such a short guest list. In the end, he concluded that three close friends were worth more than dozens of business friends and entourage leaches. The other guests at the party were his sisters’ boy friends, some aunts, uncles, and a smattering of cousins. Joey had been the only wasp in Ricky’s class. Everyone else was Italian, Jewish or Hispanic. Joey, poor guy, was uncomfortable at the party. He was the only real outsider. He wanted to leave a couple of times, but Ricky begged him to stay.

“Joey, everybody is going home after the party. They’ll all be gone by ten. Please stay and hang out with me. Stay and we’ll have a sleepover like when we were kids.” Joey reluctantly agreed, and Ricky employed Larry and Red to keep an eye on him and not let him escape. Nonetheless, Joey seemed moody, and stayed pretty much to himself during the entire party. He was sitting alone out on the front porch swing, when Ricky’s future brother-in-law, Randy Lopez, came outside. Randy was engaged to Maria, the elder of Ricky’s two sisters, who had just turned nineteen.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked. Joey didn’t answer, but he motioned to the empty part of the swing right next to him. Randy almost fell when he sat down. He was obviously quite drunk.

Neither one said anything, and after awhile, just to break the awkward silence, Joey said, “Nice party, isn’t it?”

Randy didn’t answer the question. Instead, he put his hand on Joey’s knee. Joey decided not to notice or make a thing of it, since Randy was so drunk.

“I’ve had my eye on you all evening, Joey. You’re one handsome dude.”

Joey removed Randy’s hand from his knee, and stood up. “You’ve had way too much to drink, Randy. I think you better quit.” He went back inside and joined the party. Randy followed him into the house, went right up to Maria, and tried to kiss her, but she turned her face away, because he smelled so badly of booze.

Poor Joey didn’t know what to do. He should tell Ricky that Randy had come on to him, and that probably he shouldn’t marry Maria, but he was afraid that Ricky wouldn’t believe him. It was like when he told his mother that her brother had touched him inappropriately. She slapped his face and told him to stop telling lies. The groping continued, and his uncle even exposed himself to the young boy, but he couldn’t tell his parents. He decided to say nothing to Ricky. It was Maria’s problem.

The party was a blast, and before he knew it, Ricky was kissing everyone goodbye. Red and Larry were the last to leave. Ricky walked them to their car. He didn’t think anyone was watching so he kissed them both goodbye on the lips. Hidden in the shadows on the porch, Joey observed the whole thing. The scene ignited long suppressed desires in him. He tried to dismiss the whole thing from his mind. Kissing was something all show business people did. It didn’t mean a thing.

Rickey, his two sisters, and Joey started to help Mama clean up, but they seemed to be more in the way than helpful, and she finally shooed them away. The girls went to bed. The young men went out on the porch where they shared the swing together. They stared at the stars, and started to talk about old times.

“Why didn’t we ever do it again together when you came home and finished high school?” Joey asked.

“Do what?” Ricky asked. He had no idea what Joey was talking about.

Joey made his palm into a cylinder and started waving it in the air as if he was jacking off. “That,” he said. “We used to do it together before you ran off to sing with The Sons of Song.”

“Oh, that,” Ricky said. “It was always fun to do that together. I guess by the time I was a junior in high school, and you were a college man, we didn’t think it was the manly thing to do.”

“Maybe not, but when we jerked off together, I always felt very close to you. I felt that we were connected somehow.” As he finished speaking, Joey put his palm on Ricky’s knee, much like Randy had done to him. It was the remembrance of Randy’s inappropriate behavior that had stirred up his boldness. Ricky made no attempt to stop him.

After a silence that seemed to last for hours, but was only a few seconds, Ricky asked, “Is there something you are trying to tell me Joey? Whatever it is please speak. I promise not to judge you, or condemn anything you tell me.”

“First I have to ask you something? There are always rumors and innuendos in the press that you’re gay, Ricky. I really, really, need to know if there is any truth in those stories.”

“Why is it so fucking important? Everyone and all his relatives want to know, and it’s nobody’s business but mine.”

“Please don’t be angry at me, Ricky. The reason I need to know is that I have loved you since we met in nursery school, and I need to confess something to you. I’m a gay man struggling to find love. It keeps eluding me, because all I can obsess about is being with you. I’m scared shitless that it will never happen, and that I’ll never have any kind of relationship with any one. Now you are asking me to spend the night. What should I make of that? You are sending me mixed messages. My conclusions are poles apart, depending on your sexual orientation. That’s why it’s important for me to know if you are gay or not.”

Joey stopped talking. He buried his head in his hands and started to cry softly. Ricky honestly didn’t know what to say or do. Well, at least it did help to explain why they were always such good friends. Their other friends came and went, but he and Joey never lost touch and never grew apart. Now Joey was crying, and Ricky couldn’t let him continue. He put his arms around Joey’s shoulder, pulled him tightly to him, and whispered in his ear, “Joey honey, there’s only a standard size double bed in my room. There’s no cot either, so here are your choices. You can sleep on the floor, or you can put your naked ass in the bed with my naked ass. Now I’m not pushing, mind you. It’s your decision to make.”

Joey sobbed a little harder, and Ricky held him even closer. He picked Joey up to a standing position, which was pretty difficult since Joey was about three inches bigger than Ricky, and about twenty pounds heavier. They walked into the kitchen together. You couldn’t tell that there had ever been a party. Mama was just removing her apron.

“Where’s Papa?” Ricky asked.

“He’s gone to bed, where I’m going now too.”

“Us too.”

“Is there anything special you boys would like for breakfast?” she asked. They both shook their heads, and she watched them walk up the hall together.

As Mama watched them, suddenly they turned into two four year olds, holding hands, wearing only jockey shorts, and running into the bedroom. The vision of déjà vu brought her to tears. She never once thought in terms of a carnal act, or that they were being inappropriate at twenty-one.

Ricky and Joey entered Ricky’s bedroom, shaking like leaves. They were both so nervous, you would think they were virgins. Ricky’s door had no lock, but he shut it tight, and as quietly as he could. He was relatively sure that nobody would enter without knocking. They stood looking at each other, not moving, not saying a word. Suddenly Joey started to rip off his clothes, so Ricky did the same. They had seen each other naked a hundred times as young boys and many times in gym locker rooms, but this was different. They were about to make love, and each of their cocks took on a new look, and a new significance.

“Good! You trim your pubes now. So do I.” Joey observed.

Joey fell to his knees and gobbled Ricky’s hardened, uncut manhood into his mouth. He released it long enough to say, “I have wanted to do this as long as I can remember.” Then he went back to work.

“Let’s get into bed,” Ricky whispered, “and we’ll play sixty-nine. Joey did as Ricky requested. The minute Ricky’s lips touched Joey’s crown, he felt an orgasm surging. He tried to stop it, but he couldn’t.

As soon as Ricky heard Joey mumble, “I’m cumming,” he took as much of Joey’s cock as he could inside of him, so he could swallow every drop and there would be no mess. Afterward the two men lay in bed, side by side, holding hands.

“I’m sorry I came so fast,” Joey apologized.

“Don’t sweat it, Joey. This isn’t a one night stand.”

When Joey heard those words, he said, “Ricky, I love you. I’ve loved you since before we were in kindergarten.” They kissed each other passionately.

“Fuck me please,” he begged.

“I have no rubbers, but I have some Vaseline in my nightstand.”

“Fuck me, Ricky. I don’t care about condoms.”

Ricky remembered Red’s words about not ever going bareback. “I don’t care either,” he said.

The Vaseline did its job. Ricky entered Joey rather easily. He went in doggie style, and he was in no rush to start stroking. He just lay quietly on top of Joey, absorbing Joey’s body with his own, and also with his love. Joey was purring like a kitten. Unexpectedly, he said to Ricky, “Ricky, you just broke my cherry. I always prayed it would be you. God heard my prayers.”

Ricky was suddenly filled with emotions he had not ever felt before with anyone he had ever made love with. He felt like his and Joey’s bodies had fused into one. He didn’t realize he was pumping until he felt Joey’s body tensing. Joey was cumming again. He tried to stifle his screams. As he came, he tightened his ass muscles and put Ricky over the top. It was all Ricky could do to stifle his screams as well.

Even after his cock fell out of Joey, the lovers remained in position, reluctant to separate. “I’m so happy,” Joey whispered.

“I’m happier,” Ricky responded.

“I’ve been accepted to Fordham Law School,” Joey announced out of the blue. “I’ll be moving to The City. Do you think I could live in your place with you? I’ll be glad to pay rent. I know you won’t be there a lot, but I can look after the place, and I’ll be there whenever you are.”

“That’s the greatest idea I ever heard. Do you think you could move in yesterday?”

“Sure thing!”

“Shit,” Ricky said. “We’re going to have to give our parents some sort of explanation. My parents know I only have one bedroom.”

“Honey, I’m out to my folks. It’s your turn.”

“Shit,” Ricky repeated. “I love you, and I want to be with you. I’ll just have to bite the bullet.”

“I’ve got your back, sweetheart. We’ll make it through.”