Return to Sender - 26. Chapter 26 - Kai

CHAPTER 26 - Kai

On Wednesday morning, I woke very early. It was still dark, the moon in its late stage still providing some light through the net curtains. And close against me, with an arm draped over my stomach, lay Adam on his side, flush against me, with his head on my shoulder, breathing soundlessly.

My back was killing me.

This bed was, unfortunately, too small for two, especially for a guy like me, and a little too soft to my liking - I prefer a more firm mattress. But all that didn’t matter - because I woke up with him. I closed my eyes again, smiling.

Last night had been wonderful - looking at those pictures, sharing stories, laughing and reminiscing, finding out who he, the writer, was. He’d gotten the first book from the picture out of the study and read some of it to me, after some prodding - reluctant at first, because he thought it was not very good. I argued that someone had thought it good enough to print, and he acquiesced, softly beginning to read to me. After the first few lines, he started to use a running commentary, remembering still where his head had been at the time, giving context to the scene better than what was on the page. I asked questions too, like how he knew certain things he’d written in detail, like certain trees or stonework. He’d written it on his first trip to Europe, to Tuscany, in the late nineties.

**********

“It’s best to be there, look at the masonry, the landscape. The feeling you get is much more real and easy to put down on paper than doing it from afar. I’ve tried using maps on my computer. It’s not the same and doesn't help the story,” he explained. “And it wouldn’t do to write details that do not belong in the landscape. That’d be like describing waving palm trees at the North Cape in Norway in a late summer breeze. Out of place.”

“Why Tuscany? And why set it in that time - The sixties?”

“I was backpacking across Europe, planning to visit all the capitals there. But while traveling to Rome, I came through Florence and got stuck there. Love at first sight. I never saw Rome back then. As for the time setting, that was for convenience more than anything else - I’m not that tech savvy. Well, I wasn’t. I know a bit more now.”

I chuckled softly. “Cop out?”

“Yes,” he smiled. “This is nice, going back. I remember it all. It was my first transatlantic trip. First time on a plane, too. You could still smoke in planes back then.”

I remembered.

“What is it with you and smoking?” I snickered. He’d requested I smoke a cigar while he read to me. He requested I do it quite a few times already.

“It makes me think of conviviality and Nan. She smoked lady cigars. Whenever I smell a cigar, it takes me back to my youth.”

He showed me a picture of her with one of them in an ashtray, the smoke curling up. She looked like a strong woman - white hair in a severe bun, tight. I could see some of him in her - in the eyes mostly - they had the same silver color, and the way they were set. Her smile was warm as she posed.

“How old was she when she died?”

“86.”

“A full life...”

“Very much so. Up to the very end, she was a very active woman, with a social life to match. She smoked, and every night had two glasses of port. Came along on many trips and saw the world with me.” I squeezed his shoulder. He clearly missed her still. When he looked up, he smiled. It wasn’t sad. “We were on Gozo once - the sister island to Malta? There’s a cave there, of which they say Odysseus stayed for seven years while he thought it was only seven days. Calypso’s Cave. She was 81, still climbing over rocks just for the view that was promised to us. She was that type of woman.”

Ha! I grinned. “I know it. I’ve been there. It has a view of the only sand beach on the island. And that sand is incredibly hot! When were you there?”

He frowned, thinking back. “2004, I think.”

“I was there a year before you,” I chuckled. “I love Homer and the poems.”

“Me too!”

“Ever seen the movie? There was one, with Armand Assante.”

“No! They made a movie?”

“Mhm…TV movie, I think.”

“Oh, I don’t really watch TV.”

I knew that. He had a state of the art system though! A nice one too!

“Maybe, on a long winter evening?”

“I would love watching that, I think. But in the fall. When it rains outside. ”

A thought occurred to me. “Have any of your books been filmed?”

“No. I’ve gotten offers, though, to buy the rights…”

“Big money in that…”

“I don’t need it. It’s flattering, I guess, but I’d rather not…”

“Because it would reveal who you are?” I guessed.

“That too, though I think I could still remain anonymous if I wished, which I do. It’s a recent development. I’m still thinking about it. I’ve never written scripts for a film.”

“Aren’t there script writers for that?”

“They told me as much but I don’t want anyone else rewriting what I wrote.”

There was a finality to that which made me smile. I squeezed his shoulder again. Good on him!

“Then don’t. They are your rights.”

“Yes, they are. For as long as I live, plus 70 years. I looked into it.”

“That’s a very long time, I hope. At least 140 years.”

“Ha! That would make me 115. I’m not sure I would want to get quite that old.”

“As long as I get to be there,” I grinned. That would be something - to reach such an old age, together.

“That’d make you 118. You’d be the oldest person in the world,” he chuckled.

“We’ll need Ian for a long time.”

**********

I chuckled as I thought back to the previous evening and the conversation that ensued about mortality from that point: what we still wanted to do, and see. It was amazing to find out that much of what we both wanted coincided with the other. We both wanted to travel still, see more of the world. But we also voiced a wish for comfort at some point. To calm down, abandon working life and enjoy the rest. To live to the fullest and remain able.

**********

“I’d hate to become dependent on someone, to live out my twilight years in a nursing home. That’s what I would never want,” Adam voiced, to which I agreed.

Not that there's anything wrong with nursing homes for those who need them. Certainly not. But as with his Nan, and my dad - I wanted the same. To live out my years in my own place, and expel my last breath in my own bed, in my own home. Unfortunately, his Nan had not been able to do so, and died away from her home.

“She was no longer the woman I knew her to be. She looked frail and old, in a bare room. She once said she wanted to go in her chair, with a cigar still smoking, having nodded off. I wasn’t in the US when she fell and broke her hip, but I returned right away when they contacted me, telling me what’d happened. I had the chair brought in for her. They didn’t want to allow it. I raised a bit of a scene when I arrived…so they let me. And they put her in it. She died within minutes after that.”

I smiled. “She waited for you.”

“Yes she did. And the chair, I think. I like believing that she did. I gave her the cigar. I didn’t light it, it wasn’t allowed but…yes, I think she waited.”

“She did,” I assured, pulling him closer. “I’m sure of it. She waited for her grandson to raise all hell for her.”

“I did! I was quite upset. I hate hospitals.”

“You told me, in your letter,” I remembered. “I understand why you hate ‘em. And why you didn’t want to visit me before I came here.”

“I couldn’t,” he said softly, turning his head. His eyes were moist. “I can’t.”

“Shh…”

Seeing his distress, it made me want to protect him from any of that. And I hoped that he’d never have to visit another hospital ever again. He probably would though, at some point.

I’m not a fan of hospitals either, but sometimes, life doesn’t give you a choice.

**********

Dawn was emerging as I thought about last night, lightly stroking Adam’s back with my fingers. He snuggled closer, on the verge of waking. His eyes fluttered open a little then closed again. He sighed.

“Wake up,” I whispered, “Adam...”

“Hmm?”

“Wake up.”

“Mmm….why?”

The arm on my stomach slid behind me, squeezing lightly. I winced some. My back was really killing me. But there was no way I was going to tell him that.

“It’s a new day.”

Inhaling deeply and sighing again, he nuzzled my throat.

“Mm-kay.”

It took a while before he truly woke. Then his head raised, peering over my chest at the alarm clock on the nightstand. I followed his gaze - 05:40 am. Rolling onto his back, he got his glasses from the nightstand on his side and put them on, then rested his chin on my chest, smiling.

“Good morning.”

Christ, he looked so damn sexy. My body stirred to life. Sliding my hand into his neck, I pulled him closer for a kiss, but he held back. I frowned.

“What…?”

“I need to brush my teeth.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “No you don’t.”

“Yes, I…Kai! No!”

“Yes! Come here, Mister!” I planted one on him, and honestly, the man tasted so damn sweet! I growled softly when he still tried to evade. Well, I guess it might be mine he was evading. “Do I have bad breath?”

“No,” he softly said, licking his lips. Oh yeah, I needed me some more of that.

“Then come here - I’m horny dammit!” I snickered, going for a flip, pushing him over onto his back and then subsequently trying to catch him from falling out of bed.

“This bed is too damn small,” I chuckled, and then winced, when I used some strength, rolling with him and trying to prevent him from going over the edge. “Oh for…” I muttered an expletive. My body protested something fierce just then and I went rigid, closing my eyes. Pain lanced through my lower back and I almost let him go. Jesus…

“Kai? What’s wrong….Kai!”

“It’s nothing, I…”

An unwanted groan escaped my lips, I could barely hold him from falling. Fuck, that hurt! “Kai?”

“My back…” I managed, and then he dropped, though I didn’t hear a thump of the landing.

When I opened my eyes, Adam was peering up at me from the floor - he’d let himself slide out of bed in a controlled sort of ‘fall’. He quickly got up and sat on the edge, concern on his face.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I lied. I wasn’t. That move I’d really not been ready for, to catch his weight. And he clearly didn’t believe me.

“Lay down. No - stay. Lay down! Stop it…” he ordered, when I tried to get up. “Kai…stop! Don’t! Stay in bed! Do you need your medication?”

I didn’t want it, but it might be better.

“Ibuprofen. It’s in my bag, downstairs.”

“I’ll go get it. Stay.” He got up and disappeared. He was back quite quickly, bringing the whole bag. “There’s too much in here. I couldn’t find it so quickly. Which box?”

“Silver box. Two.”

He rummaged through it, taking something out and frowning at it (Oh for f…that was one of the enemas Doc had put in there), letting it drop back in there, taking out another box. Yes, that one. “Two.”

He went to bring back a glass of water. And all the while, I lay on my stomach, I didn’t dare move, watching him. He pressed two pills from the strip into my hand and handed me the glass. Swallowing them, I returned it, and lay down. This would take at least half an hour.

Then I registered him chuckling and turned my head towards him.

“Why do you have enemas in here?”

“They’re not for me,” I admitted. “Doc put them in my luggage…for you.”

“Oh, I see. Well, that’s kind, but I’ve been using those since I was nineteen.”

“Noted. Thank you. Can I be embarrassed by myself now for a few minutes?” I requested, not sure if I should laugh or…

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Adam replied, softly. “It’s considerate. To me.” I peered up at him and he smiled. “Most would not even think about such things. He’s your doctor. He gave you condoms and these,” he held up my bag. ”He cares. And I will use them. Thank you.”

Wow. He just took that in stride. But it still was embarrassing. Some things are very private. Knowing your partner is clean is nice, but you didn’t want such things known to the rest of the world, y’know.

“I’m going to take a shower and dress. The nurse will be here soon. You just stay here - let the ibuprofen do its work. Do you need anything? Something to eat? Drink?”

“No, thank you.”

“Alright. I’ll be right back. And you will have breakfast in bed, Mr. Navy. No arguments.”

I grumbled but acquiesced. He was sweet. He took his shower, leaving me behind. And I hated this. That I wasn’t there, wasn’t able. It was frustrating. I should be in there, washing his back, him washing mine. Fool around a bit. Instead, my hornyness had completely dissipated. Dammit.

When Adam emerged from the bathroom, naked at that (dammit!), and going over to the closet to select his clothes for the day, he left the door open so I could see him, choosing clean boxers and socks and a shirt…I just…sighed. Dammit. Yep … hated this.

By the time he was finishing up, the ibuprofen was doing what it was supposed to do and I gingerly moved to the side of the bed, sliding my legs over the side and sitting up. He came out of there, fully dressed for another hot day - long shorts and a white linen shirt. Coming over, he squatted in front of me.

“You okay?”

“Better,” I nodded. Raising my hand, I slipped it on his neck, drawing him closer for a kiss. “Thank you.” He tasted fresh toothpaste. I stole another taste.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled, warmly. “Do you need anything?”

Yes. Him. In bed, naked. But I shook my head. “No, I’m good. Better…”

Glancing at the alarm, it was 06:15 am. “You better go let Arya out.”

But I didn’t let him go and then leaned in, bumping my forehead against his. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“I should be doing that. I wake up earlier than you. I should be able to go down and let her out. Make coffee…” Seduce him.

He put his finger to my lips. “Shhh…in time, you will. Be patient.” He sought my eyes. “Care to tell me what that was? Why you’re in so much pain?”

“It’s your bed - it’s too…soft. I need a firmer mattress. Maybe I should sleep on the one downstairs…”

I didn’t want to admit that. But it was, maybe, better to say it. Even though I loved waking up with him, I might have to go back down there, to sleep. For now…

“I see,” he replied, frowning. Then his brows lifted. “Easily amended.” Rising to his feet, my hand fell from his neck. “We’ll get a new bed. Today.”

“What!?” I looked up and, I guess, rather stupidly. Huh?

“We’ll get a new bed in here. 12 weeks waiting is far too long. Yes, that settles it.”

And then he turned on his heels, and left, leaving me behind, blinking at the door.

**********

Ian showed up again, 7am on the dot. They were both softly speaking and laughing, coming up the stairs. Then Ian exclaimed, “Wait…he’s already upstairs?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, that’s awesome! Finally in your own bed again, huh?”

I grinned at that. Ian assumed we were a couple, which he had also done on Monday, and I hadn’t bothered correcting him. Entering the bedroom, where I sat on the edge of the bed, waiting, Ian voiced a greeting and Adam followed, as guessed, ruddy cheeked.

“Great, you’re already up here, Kai. That’s awesome!” Ian said.

“Yes, I slept upstairs last night,” I grinned.

“That’s great. Back in your own bed. Nothing beats that, huh? But, ehm…can I ask something?”

“Sure.”

“Maybe it’s none of my business and if so, please feel free to tell me to butt out, but I’m wondering…Adam, why don’t you help your husband? Why am I here? Clearly he can make it up the stairs…”

“Ehr, he’s not my husband.”

“Oh! Shit, my bad! I’m sorry, I assumed you two…” he indicated the both of us, “were a couple.”

“We are,” I answered, smiling, “but we’re not married. That’s what Adam is trying to say, aren’t you, honey?”

Adam chuckled. “Yes, that’s exactly what I was trying to say.”

I grinned and winked at Adam. Something passed between us. I liked thinking of us like that. A couple. I liked it a lot - and I could tell Adam did too.

“And actually, he did help me shower last night,” I put in.

Confused, Ian responded with, “Okay, then why am I here? Clearly, you two can manage…”

I guess we could. I looked at Adam. “Honey?”

“Well, I guess I could…help him…”

“Informal care takes a load off us, guys. If Adam can help you, there’s no need for me here.” It sounded somewhat chiding, but he had a point. There might be someone in greater need of care…

“Alright,” Adam said, training his eyes on Ian, “then I guess we will not be needing you after today. But I'd like it if you helped him today, please? He overdid it, and strained his back. I had to get him some pain meds.”

“What’d you give him?” Ian asked.

“Two Ibuprofen. 800 milligrams. Two pills of 400.”
Ian raised an eyebrow.

“Kai? Why did you need the meds?” Coming over, Ian lowered himself onto a knee, seeking my gaze. “What’d you do… were you…?”

The implication was clear. Did we have strenuous activity? As in sex? Unfortunately not. I shook my head. “We didn’t…”

“He tried to prevent me from falling out of bed,” Adam said at the same time.

Looking back and forth between us, Ian then looked at the bed.

“It is a bit small…”

“We’re getting a new one in, today.”

“Good.”

“And we weren’t having sex,” Adam ‘helpfully’ supplied. “If that’s what you’re worried about. We already had that yesterday, and it was fine.”

ADAM! Private!

“Fine?” I echoed, forgetting Ian for a second. Fine? FINE? It had been GREAT!

Smirking, Ian caught my eye and winked, then put his finger to his mouth. Shut it, Kai.

“Guys, focus. It’s okay. Kai, how are you feeling now?”

“Fine?” I incised, trying to surreptitiously get that point across to Adam. He got it. Ass! Fine. Pffft… He’d been there, right with me. That had not been merely FINE. That’d been awesome. We said we loved each other, for god sake. FINE?

Ian chuckled and pulled me back to the topic at hand. “Kai? Where was your pain?”

“My back.” He nodded in acknowledgement.

“Can you stand?”

I rose, using the cane, groaning like an old man. And that was SO annoying, especially because Adam rushed forward too, hands at the ready to catch me. But I stood and held up my hand.

“I’m fine.”

‘Fine’ was the word of the day. And I didn’t like it one bit. It felt like my masculinity was in question.

Fine indeed.

FINE.

**********

Ian helped me shower and while busy, we had a conversation about…strenuous activity. He gave some private advice on positions - the exact same ones Doc had given me. I thanked him, and didn’t mention what we already had figured that out, right here in fact, like a certain someone probably would. Adam. And then we said goodbye, once I was dressed.

“Thank you, Ian. And I’m sorry, that you had to come here when we could’ve managed on our own.”

He waved dismissively.

“No problem. Just be careful, okay? I don’t wanna come back here, if it can be avoided. Don’t…overdo it. Don’t overestimate yourself. It’s okay if some things take you a little longer. Your body needs to heal still. You’re not twenty anymore.”

Oh, thanks for that reminder. Fucker. But he grinned and winked. And he knew I had thought that.

“Sorry,” he said.

“It’s okay. You’ll get there someday. And no offense, but I hope your wife will remind you in the exact same words one day when you’re down for the count. Then you’ll think of me, you young little prick.”

“None taken,” he smirked. He extended his hand. “It was nice meeting you, Kai. I wish you the very best.”

“Thank you, Ian,” I answered, taking his hand and pumping it, “and don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope I never see you again.”

“Nor I,” he chuckled, taking his leave.

**********

Later that day, after I returned from physical therapy in the city, Adam informed me that he’d visited the furniture store and canceled one of the beds he had on order, swapping it for one that was available right away - it would be brought later that afternoon.

“I also made inquiries with Callum, about which type of mattress would be best. I told him about your pain…”

“What’d he say?”

“He said he’d stop by later today, once he’s off work. Said he was staying at Megan’s the rest of the week. He’s on call this weekend, though. Anyway, he advised me to get a gel memory-foam mattress. They’ve had good experiences with it in patients with back pain. The store had only one available, in king size.”

I grinned. Nice! I drew him to me, giving him a kiss hello.

“I can’t wait to break it in.”

Chuckling, Adam in turn pressed a nice warm kiss on my lips. “I’ve never slept in a king size before.”

“You think you’re gonna be on one end, and me on the other? Think again, Mister. I'll be right in the middle, and so will you. Try and get away from me,” I promised, winking.

“Oh, something to look forward to.”

Ha! Definitely!

“It’s electric, too.”

“Oooooh, very nice! You’re spoiling me.”

“Well, myself too! I also got new sheets and blankets for it, and a comforter. And new pillows. They’re some sort of NASA designed ones, good for your head.”

“Thought of everything, I hear,” I smiled. I’d probably have forgotten that, and found out I needed that once the bed had arrived already.

“Yes. Oh, and they’ll take the old bed back with them.”

“Hmm, perhaps you should move it to one of the other rooms? Temporarily? Once the other beds come, they can take it with them, but a spare might be handy, in case of unexpected guests? Like when Megan and Doc were here, last Saturday.”

“That’s a good idea! Yes, yes, even better.”

I received another kiss for that, then he stepped away. “I’ll turn down the bed and move the sheets, blankets and pillows to another room.”

“Okay. When was Doc coming?”

“After dinner. He’s working until 6 pm or something?”

“Right. Can I help with anything?”

“Peel the potatoes? For dinner?”

I nodded and went to the kitchen, getting a pan and the bag of potatoes, then setting up on the deck behind the house.

A few minutes later, Arya joined me and lay down beside me. I softly spoke to her while her boss was whistling upstairs. I could clearly hear him through the open windows right above us.

“Your daddy is looking forward to sleeping tonight,” I grinned, letting a peeled potato drop in the pan. “Kinda funny - I’m looking forward to keeping him awake.”

Hmprf? She responded, lifting her head.

“Mhm,” I answered, winking at her. “Now don’t you go telling him all about that, huh? He doesn't need to know everything.”

Hmprf. She lay her head back on her paws.

“Good dog.”

**********

The furniture company arrived with the new bed around 4:30 pm. They first removed the old bed, and they weren’t too sad to move it to another room instead of having to carry it down. They brought it into Megan’s old room. Then, as Adam went to put new sheets on it, they got to work, bringing the new one in, and it was a doozy. I steered clear, because if I went to watch them, I’d inevitably start to help them. It’s in my nature to do so. So, instead, I took Arya to the dog park - a nice exercise and a chance to meet some neighbors again. We stayed out a little longer than planned. When I returned, the truck from the furniture company had left. I found Adam in the kitchen, busy with dinner.

“Can I help?” I asked, kissing his neck, then returning Arya’s leash to the utility room.

“Prepare her wet food?”

“Sure. Everything set up? All done?”

Looking over his shoulder, he grinned. “Ahuh. I think you’ll like it. The bed is a little higher. And…quite bouncy.”

I chuckled, coming over to the counter with Arya’s wet food, with Miss Arya herself keeping a close watch nearby, tail swishing.

“Oh really. How….convenient,” I snickered.

“Yes, I thought so,” he grinned, winking.

Yep. We were both definitely looking forward to going to sleep tonight.

**********

Doc came with Megan, and Nikki, later that evening, showing up around 8 pm. As I went to the door and opened it, I took one look at them and just knew. There was something in the way he held her hand as they came walking up the path. Very relaxed and they seemed…very happy. Nikki ran ahead of them, giving me a quick kiss and hug, then bolting inside, calling for Arya. Then, at the bottom of the stairs, Doc just grinned up at me and raised his arms in the air, fist balled, in a winning gesture.

“Confirmed it an hour ago. You’re gonna be an uncle again, Soldier.”