Return to Sender - 13. Chapter 13 - Adam

CHAPTER 13 - Adam

11:15am on Friday morning.

I was nervous.

Kai would have left Walter Reed over an hour ago and soon I’d meet the man that had occupied my thoughts for months while we conversed via letters and this past week spoke on the phone multiple times a day. It’d become moments I looked forward to - the waking call and the bedding call - as I referred to them in my mind. The waking call always happened at eight. The bedding one varied - Kai would text first, to ask if I was free to speak, because he didn’t want to intrude on me doing the dishes or was walking Arya, the latter of which he also had a strong opinion on - I tended to leave my phone at home while we were out. He preferred that I’d take it with me.

“What if something happens to you in those woods? No one knows where you are and you have no means to contact anyone. A misstep is easily made. Please bring your phone and make sure it’s charged.”

That was another thing - each time when he sent the bedding text (real handy, those names in my head) - he reminded me to have my charger close. It happened only once, that my phone ran out of juice (the very first night we spoke), but ever since, it was mentioned.

And as for no one knowing where I was when I was walking with Arya - debatable. At least two direct neighbors knew my routine by now and I always met at least four others that lived around the lake. But I appreciated that he worried - that he cared. So I brought the phone with me and now a charger was always near - I picked up a few extra ones and each downstairs room had one.

I knew I had no reason to be nervous. Even last night, when we spoke, and both voiced that we couldn’t wait to finally meet, I hadn’t felt this pressure.

Everything was in hand - The rented hospital bed was delivered on Thursday morning and installed in the living room - the thing was fully automatic, could be raised and lowered, tilted back and forth and featured so many buttons, I wouldn’t be surprised if it made espresso. The carpets were laid upstairs, all rooms had been painted. The son of the owner from the paint store had come along and suggested to ‘break’ up the monotony of just the one color in each room, by using thin bands of wallpaper as a sort of ‘divide’. He’d caught on to my themes and brought rolls of wallpaper for each room, pines, roses, trees and flowers. An excellent suggestion! I called the store and told his father to add an extra amount to the bill, as a thank you - something to put away into his son’s savings account. That boy was going places - perhaps Interior Design? I suggested the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn.

Even this morning, at eight sharp, this pressure hadn’t been present. Kai had packed up most of his belongings the previous night - I’d been ‘present’ on speaker while he was busy folding clothes and what-not - so there was really nothing more for him to do but wait. He’d eaten, showered, dressed.

And then he said, when ending the call, “I’ll see you soon.”

That’s when the pressure appeared. I walked back to the kitchen, looked at myself in the mirror as I passed it - should I change? My crisp white shirt was new, the light brown suede vest was fine (not new). Beige summer pants. Fine. I looked down. Brown loafers. Fine. Black socks - always.

Arya whined.

“No honey, we can’t go walkies now. We’ll have visitors soon.”

Another whine.

“No, you’re not getting waffles. Tonight.”

Double whine - I shouldn’t have mentioned waffles. She’d be unbearable now. And there she went, running to the kitchen door, pawing at it.

“Arya,” I warned, about to give her a stern talking to but then a flash of the sun on a windscreen caught my eye. A white Dodge RAM truck approached.

He was here.

**********

I didn’t expect a party of six.

As I opened the front door, three children bounded out of the backseat of the truck, jumping down after it stopped - a girl in her early teenage years, with long blond hair, and two boys, almost similar in age (10 or below) with mops of dark brown. They ran to the fence as Arya raced out and past me, her nails clicking on the deck and down the steps, enthusiastic - new playmates! I never met them but I knew their names: Nikki, Cody and Quinn.

“Look! He has a dog!”

In a flash she was at the fence and rearing up, resting her paws on top, making excited yaps - hands, hands, lots of hands to pet me! Who’s first? You, little boy? Okay, you'll get a lick. Now you, girl. Come on, come on…there we go: lick. Now you, kiddo - lick. Whine. Lick. Whine. Lick. Lick.

“Arya!” I called, making her at least come down from the fence.

I slowly walked toward them as Arya went a little nuts on the attention she received, and the front doors of the truck opened. A tall man that I kind of recognized and remembered as having seen before stepped out of the drivers’ side. Kellan. Yes, it was the same truck. On the same side, in the backseat, one beauty of a golden haired woman disembarked, or rather let herself slide down from the huge vehicle. She made me think of Farrah Fawcett - same hair style, a little wild and unruly, a wide pretty smile, open and radiant. Only her eyes were light brown, not turquoise. Megan, perhaps? It could be Ellen, Kellan’s wife. Kai had informed me of the various family members. She was a looker, and then some.

And on the far side, a first glimpse of black hair, peeking out over the roof of the car.

I focused my attention deliberately on the children as I approached the fence. If I kept looking at the black haired unseen one, I didn’t know what would happen - I might end up in my newly planted flower beds.

“You must be Nikki,” I said to the girl. She was pretty! “And you…,” I looked at the smallest boy, “are Quinn.” Then I looked at the older boy, “so that makes you Cody.”

They all confirmed but all their attention was on Arya, who was making a complete and utter fool of herself. She jumped up again and again, choosing at random who got to pet her.

“Down, Arya. Let them come in.”

In the corner of my eye, I knew Kai had cleared the car. He was standing still, looking toward me over the hood of the truck. If I just turned my head to the left, I’d see him. Don’t do it yet, Adam…those flowerbeds are still near.

Ah, I wish I was that strong. I was not. I looked up and smiled at the woman as I opened the fence for them to come in, and Arya bound out to get amongst the new playthings and goof off, and planned to look at Kellan. Or planned - it was more of a moving camera shot that instantly stalled.

Kai.

I held on to the fence. I think that was my saving grace as the adults approached - Kellan first, I still wasn’t sure if it was Megan or Ellen second - and then Kai came forward. I shook hands with Kellan, welcoming him and please, come on in. The woman finally confirmed who she was - it was Megan - she grabbed my hand and somehow created a quick hug out of that - and then came Kai.

He didn’t say anything. He just stood there, his eyes raking over me. And I just stood here, mine raking over him. He looked healthy and strong. Black and white lumberjack shirt with the sleeves rolled up (black hair dusting his forearms), white t-shirt underneath. Stonewashed, light blue jeans. White sneakers. He’d shaved! No beard.

I smiled. He returned it. And then he spread his arms a little, and a little bodily movement that said to me - Well? Come here then?

Pressure: gone.

I took a step forward and wordlessly slipped one arm over his right shoulder, the other around his waist. His closed around me in reverse and we hugged. A tight, wonderful hug, nice and close. And I knew him.

“Hi.”

And close to my ear, he softly rumbled: “Hi Adam.”

**********

It might have been awkward for his family. I didn’t really register it. But we stood there for a long time, just hugging. I might have been too focused on him, because I didn’t register anything around us. I felt him warm against me and honed in on what he was doing and saying.

“You’re actually real,” he said, his warm breath whispering on the side of my neck while rocking us gently from side to side. I smiled.

“Of course I’m real. Silly man.”

He squeezed his arms tighter. “I’m here.”

God, he smelled heavenly. At least, I think that’s what heaven would smell like. It should, in my book. Like wind blowing on the water of the lake, coming through the pinewoods, fresh, cool and woodsy. I’d imagined him earthy with some musk, animalistic. Stronger. Instead his scent was light. He smelled amazing.

And then we were kissing. I turned my head, responding to his remark. He turned his to my answer. I pressed my lips on his smooth cheek, just because I wanted to and he responded to that by slightly turning more until our lips touched in a smooth, uncalculated way. It just happened and it was warm, light and tender, a wonderful hello. No rush, just feel.

Withdrawing at the same time, we leaned back and just knew - there would be no off-feeling. This is great. We’re fine. I slipped my arm around him as he did around me and walked back to the house. His family was nowhere in sight, having continued on inside, following Arya probably, who should, by now, be described as the worst guard dog ever.

Hello! Come on in, I got waffles and toys, wanna play?

Yes, we will. Mind if we take your TV?

Nah, just have a waffle. Want my cuddles? Here, enjoy!

Alright, so she was a reflection of papa. We don’t like confrontation and difficulty.

We arrived at the steps onto the deck and front door. Kellan was there, waiting, some concern showing in his face.

“You okay?”

It was only then that I noticed the cane in Kai’s right hand. Letting go of me, he used his left hand to take hold of the banister and, using the cane, got up the steps. Quite speedily too! Once up, he grinned at his brother as if he wanted to say, ‘you were saying?’

But it took a toll on him, that was obvious - he used the cane as he walked into the house. Had he kept it hidden? I really didn’t see it until just now.

Kellan watched as he went inside, passing him and as I went to follow, he spoke up, softly.

“He didn’t want to show weakness.”

What? Why…

“He has his pride. It means a lot to him, doing it on his own. They made him sit in a wheelchair when we left. Hospital policy. He didn’t like that.”

“Men,” I muttered.

“Ha! That’s funny.”

I met his eyes, then. They were the same light brown as Kai’s and Megan’s. They traveled over me.

“Thank you. He looked forward to this. Meeting you. He was nervous.”

Like I had been.

“I was too,” I admitted.

He smiled and looked up at the ceiling and around.

“Nice work. The place needed it.”

“Would you like a tour?”

“I would, I really do. I love what I’ve seen so far, the house really needed it, but maybe another time? I think, for now, this was enough. He needs to rest. He didn’t expect all the kids, we hadn’t told him. It was a surprise. We’ll bring his stuff in. Which room?”

“His old room, up the stairs, to the left.”

“Ahh,” Kellan smiled, his eyes twinkling with humor, “the Wank Shack.”

The what? He chuckled and winked.

“Trust me; you don’t wanna know what he called my room.”

**********

They brought all of Kai’s luggage inside and brought it to his room. The kids helped too. It wasn’t all that much, but Kellan assured me - there was a lot more stored at his place. He would bring it or Kai (we) could come fetch it at any time, when needed.

And then it was time to say goodbye.

The kids had a difficult time leaving Arya, it seemed: she was fully in her element, showing off her fetching skills (then dropping it on the way back, getting distracted by one or the other, like going off on a tangent, previously unknown. She didn’t learn that from me, I swear).

(Okay, maybe she did).

Kai got a big hug from each of the kids (he squeezed each one until they protested), then gave his sister and brother a fierce hug goodbye as well, and then they were gone. He was clearly spent and it was just after noon.

We were alone.

**********

When I returned to the living room, after seeing his family out, Kai was sitting on the bed - he’d put the cane to rest on the frame at an angle so he could rest his right leg on it.

At the sound of me coming in, his head turned and his eyes found me, standing there. He smiled and padded to the spot next to him.

“Come sit with me.”

I returned the smile and, going over, sat down. He nodded at the room in general.

“It looks amazing, I love it.”

“Thank you! I’m glad you like it.”

“It was always darker in here. It looked smaller. Did you hire someone?” I shook my head. “So this is all you?”

“Yes,” I answered, glancing around.

He moved his hand from the edge to behind me and looked up to the ceiling, then rolled his head to look at me. I turned my head.

“Hi.”

I chuckled.

“Hi,” I returned.

His hand moved and he drew an arm around me, pulling me closer.

“Come here, you.”

I put my head on his shoulder and sighed. His cheek pressed on my hair. He sighed too.

“This is nice,” I murmured. It was! This felt good, sitting here with him. To finally be near. He softly chuckled.

“Have you eaten yet?”

“No. You?”

“Nope. I was afraid I’d throw up.”

I softly laughed.

“Nervous?”

“Yes. A little. You?”

“No,” I lied, causing him to chuckle some more. He knew I was lying.

“Liar, liar, pants on fire,” he softly sang.

“Stop. Alright, a little bit,” I amended, retreating. “Shall I make us some lunch?”

“I wouldn’t mind. I think I can eat now,” he smiled.
Rising, I turned and held out my hand.

“Come.”

Taking it, he rose and then didn’t let go. I liked that so much!

“Where are we going?” He asked when I didn’t head for the kitchen.

“You’ll see,” I grinned, opening the door onto the deck.
I led him outside, to the garden set where I’d read his last letter. The box of Arturo Fuente cigars sat on the table with matches and a heavy glass ashtray - Kai began to laugh.

“Wow! I haven’t had one of those for almost a year!”

“Sit, sit!” I urged. Oh, I couldn’t wait for him to light one and smell it. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Coffee?”

I crinkled my nose. Certainly not, not at lunch! Barbaric! A light wine would be better. Non-alcoholic, of course.

“Wait,” I said, withdrawing my hand from his and holding up a finger, then rushed inside, returning a minute later with two glasses and a nice, light German sparkling white, chilled. His eyebrows raised.

“We’re having a salad and sandwiches. The wine is non-alcoholic.”

When I selected groceries, I’d opted for the non-alcohol variant because I didn’t think Kai could handle such a big change immediately (hence also the light meal - some inquiries online also informed me of the dismal state of hospital food). Starting light seemed the best way to go.

“Yessir” he smiled, “do you need help?”

I gave him a glare that I hoped would convey ‘don’t you dare’ - I have no experience with glaring.
Kai just chuckled and winked.

“Sorry. Fuss away.”

Thank you! You just sit there and relax. Accept the asked-for pampering. Clearly he received the message - he sat back and watched me pour.

He waited patiently while I brought out lunch - a platter of cheeses, plates and cutlery, the sandwiches and salad. Arya followed me as I went inside and returned. She always did that. But after three or four times, she stayed behind. When I returned on the last trip to the kitchen, she lay at Kai’s feet.

He was alright to her.