Return to Sender - 25. Chapter 25 - Adam

CHAPTER 25 - Adam (WARNING - YET ANOTHER INTIMATE ACT)

Oh gosh! Oh gosh! OH GOSH!!!

Never in all my experiences had I felt anything close to this! Not even with Ezra. I felt so emotional right afterwards that when I opened my eyes and met his in the mirror, he noticed the moisture in them.

“What’s wrong,” Kai asked, immediate concern evident, as I leaned rather heavily on the counter. “Did I hurt you?”

No, he hadn’t. Absolutely not. I was wonderfully sore, certainly - I would know for a while that we’d made love, because for me, that’s what this had been. I was overwhelmed! Even though I knew I obviously had feelings for him, to have them wash over me like they had, and tell him that - and hear him answer that he felt the same - it made me feel happy and joyous and connected to him.

And Kai had been most careful, taking his time to prepare me, encouraging me to say if anything felt wrong or uncomfortable. And apart from the initial minutes of, and after, his entry, and finding our way into it, there had been some discomfort, but mostly pleasure, all because he’d been very gentle with me at first, to let me get used to him.

Because he asked.

“Nothing is wrong,” I assured him, smiling, albeit a little tired, “You didn’t hurt me. I rather enjoyed it, in fact.”

Very much so. His skill and stamina, and the care he had taken to ensure pleasure, both mine and his own, I appreciated very much indeed. It had felt amazing. I hoped for a repeat.

“I made a bit of a mess,” he grinned, obviously not sorry he had. Rather smug. But then again, so had I - made a mess, that is. I blushed as I saw the result drip down the mirror. I gasped when Kai pulled me upright and flush against him. He didn’t seem to care that his mess would now make him sticky too. He groaned, close to my ear. “I meant it, you know… I’m crazy in love right now.”

The words were whispered and I brought up my hand, and slid my fingers into his hair. “Me too. Can we do it again? I’m quite horny, still.”

He chuckled against my skin. “Mhm…we got all night. God, I love that you just said that you’re still horny.”

I frowned. Why would I not say that? How would he know I still wanted him if I didn’t tell him?

When he noted my frown, he explained, “I don’t think I’ve ever had a lover say that to me.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t fucking know,” he laughed, “nor do I care - I’m happy knowing that you are.”

“I am. Very much.”

I turned in his arms and raised mine, sliding them around his neck. Groaning, he kissed me. Gosh, I loved the way he kissed. His mouth opened wide over mine, deeply kissing. I loved the wet sucking sound it made - so erotic and sexy.

I felt the counter pressing against my behind, the edge a bit sharp, so I got on my toes and sat on it. And because he was so close and pushing against me, I slid back. Rather strange! That felt so slick! And then I remembered, just as he reminded me.

“Careful,” he murmured, softly laughing against my lips. “Slippery when wet.”

I huffed and chuckled. How apt! I was wet. He had made me wet. And slippery. And I loved knowing that he had done that. Spreading my legs, he came to stand between them, while the wet sounds of our kissing continued. We couldn’t seem to get enough of each other. I loved his taste in my mouth.

He adjusted himself blindly and I could feel he was harder again. Finally breaking apart, he looked down and groaned again. “You look amazing, like this. I’d love to take you this way…”

“Okay,” I smiled. I thought I might enjoy that too. We could kiss, and look at each other then. He took hold of himself and rubbed the tip over my entrance, then lightly pushed. It slipped in much easier. I softly moaned.

“Condom,” he muttered, “quickly…”

“You don’t have to,” I moaned, when he reached for the box - the movement caused him to insert further. It felt much smoother.

Stalling, he sought my eyes. “You sure?”

I nodded and we kept looking at each other as he slid further. Oh gosh, that felt amazing. Then, when he was fully inside, I put my hand on his neck and drew him closer and we kissed. And kissed…and kissed.

**********

Afterwards, we showered together and that was intimate, and sometimes rather humorous, too. And quite enjoyable as well. It’s nice to share a cubicle. ‘Tight quarters,’ Kai proclaimed, ‘perfect.’

He washed me a little too thoroughly, though. A sponge and fingers need not reside on my behind, and in me, for quite that long.

“Insatiable man,” I snickered. “Stop. It’s impossible to go a third time.”

“Wanna bet on that?” Kai grinned.

“Absolutely not!” I would have a pleasure overload! And my lips needed a rest, too. The man was sucking me dry. “Stay in your corner. Turn around.”

I washed his back, being careful with the lower part, my hands smoothing over the skin. I encountered some hair.

“Shall I remove these?” I offered.

“Would you? It’s difficult to remove myself.”

It wasn’t much, mostly on the shoulders and some stray hairs further down. He said he usually had it waxed. I got a throwaway razor and removed them. Then I winked, as he turned once done. “Shall I remove your coat here too?” I asked, nodding at his chest.

“Fuck off!” he responded flippantly. “I need my thermo for winter.”

“Ha ha. It’s very nice, actually. I’d never do it.”

“Good,” he smiled, going for another kiss. I slid my fingers into the hair, but it was nowhere near as nice as when it was dry. Pity.

**********

Once done in the shower, we helped each other dry off. But when I pulled out clean shorts, I suddenly remembered and gasped.

“Arya! She hasn’t eaten! And I still have to take her for a walk!”

Kai managed to look a little guilty then. “Oh god, I totally forgot her…”

Quickly pulling on some clothes (the old ones having become damp in the bathroom), he made ‘go, go’ motions with his hands while still being naked himself, and I went downstairs, finding her in the utility room still, where she’d retreated before even dinner. It was now approaching 10pm!

“I’m so sorry,” I told her, as she nosed her way into the kitchen as soon as I opened the door. “Are you hungry, honey? Of course you are. And go for a walkabout? Yeah? Oh sweety, I didn’t mean to forget you.”

Behind us, Kai came into the kitchen, just in shorts and a t-shirt.

“Did she do her business in there?”

I hadn’t checked. Gosh, I felt guilty. She’d been in there for hours. “I don’t know.”

“I’ll check. You go. Take her out.”

“But I need to make her food first.”

“I’ll do it. Wet food?”

I nodded to the door.

“In there. One can, and a cup of dry food.”

“Alright. It’ll be ready for her when you two get back.”

Getting her harness and leash, I put it on her - her tail wagged furiously - she really needed to go.

“Can you make her some waffles? There’s batter in a jar, in the fridge. The iron is in that cabinet over there,” I pointed.

He chuckled and nodded. “Sure. Shall I make a few? I think she deserves a treat.”

“Yes, please. She does. You hear that, sweety? Extra waffles!”

Hmprf!?

“When we come back.”

Fastening the leash, I took her to the door, only to be called back by Kai.

“Hey! Forget something?” I frowned. No? He swaggered over and took my face in both hands, then planted a soft kiss on my lips. “Now you can go.”

I smiled. “Be back in fifteen minutes.”

“Phone on you?”

Ugh. No. “I’ll get it on the way out. It’s in the study.”

“Alright. See you in a bit.”

I got my phone and we went out the back door, Arya pulling hard. She really needed to go.

**********

When we returned, I couldn’t help but smile. From a distance, I could already see the house, warm light shining out from the windows, welcoming me home. And in the doorway, leaning against the sill, stood Kai, waiting. He’d even found the switch for the outside light by the porch, and the one for the lights lining the path, and scattered lights illuminating the different flower beds.

It was the first time I felt that I really was coming home to him.

**********

Kai had made the waffles which had already cooled by the time we came back. And he’d also poured a glass of wine for me, gotten a beer for himself, and had rummaged through the fridge and found some cheese and small cuts of meat. And there was a bag of beef jerky. He’d set that up on the deck out back and it was waiting for us.

“What’s this?” I grinned. Very nice! Now I really felt welcomed home.

“I figured you’d like something to nibble and drink. And Miss Arya shall have her waffles.”
At the sound of the word, she looked up at the both of us. Hmprf!

Which one, which one? You? You? Gimme my waffles! She seemed to say.

Kai chuckled and revealed them on a plate covered with aluminum foil. “Does she use a bowl?”

I nodded. “It’s in the utility room. I’ll get it. Here, can you unhook her?”

Handing him the leash, I went indoors to get it and made a stop by the pantry for more nibbly things. Once outside again, I already found him feeding her a small piece with his fingers. He grinned.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist. She was looking at me with those begging eyes.”

“Oh, I know. She’s good at it,” I snickered. “You can put the rest in here. Here, watch this.”

I put the three waffles he’d made In the bowl, whole, and set it on the deck. And then chuckled as she came running and attacked with a vengeance, nosing it and making the bowl slide, disappearing from sight around the corner. You could hear her smacking and the bowl clattering. Kai guffawed.

“She’s nuts for those things.”

“Yes, she likes her waffles.”

I sat down and took a sip of wine. He’d set the chairs close together.

“I can’t believe I forgot her.”

He slid his arm around my shoulders.

“We forgot her. I’m as much to blame,” he chuckled.

“True,” I agreed, “and I guess it’s your fault.”

“Hey!” I grinned, giving him a kiss to show I was joking. He smiled. “I wasn’t the only one up there, Mister.” He pulled me closer for a kiss and boy, if it wasn’t one of those full on kisses of his. I felt myself weakening immediately. “And it was very hot. Especially the second time.”

“I’ve not done that since my first time,” I admitted.

He smiled. “How old were you?”

“Sixteen.”

“Ah, young love. Carefree and lots of testosterone.”

“Very much so,” I chuckled. I glanced at him. “You?”

“Oh, I was fifteen, I think ”

“I wonder what would have happened, had we met then,” I said and he chuckled, “you’d have been 18 or 19. I doubt you’d have seen me, then.”

“Oh, I think I would’ve.”

“Imagine me, awkward and shy. And scrawny, of course.”

He guffawed. “I am. And yes, even then I think I would’ve noticed you. Do you have any pictures from that time?”

I sat up. “Oh! I do!”

“Ha! Well, let’s see ‘em then! Go on … lemme have a look at young you.”

I loved that he wanted to see that because I love pictures! So I got up and went to my study, where I have all my yearbooks still, and albums, nicely ordered by dates. I selected the one from when I was a young adult, which contained pictures from the ages of 12 to 18. And then the one after that, from 18 to 24. I chuckled as I leafed through them quickly. Oh wow, so many of them.

Once back outside, we looked through them.

“I’m fourteen in this one,” I began.

A young me stared back at us, back in 1993. I didn’t wear glasses then, not needing them yet.

“Yep. Cute.”

“Stop,” I snickered. “Look at me - all limbs and awkward.”

“Ahuh. You should’ve seen me then. Spiky hair, pimples and braces.”

I laughed.

“When we go get the stuff from Kellan’s, remind me - I have a lot of photo albums stashed there. Don’t you love going through those instead of swiping on a phone? The pace was so much slower then.”

Yes, it had been. A much nicer era, though still too quick to my liking. Technology had begun to take over life. Within a few years, rotary phones were gone. Oh gosh, I loved those! And cassette tapes! I mentioned them.

“Oh god, yes! Did you make tapes for a special someone?”

I flipped a few pages, passing some from still me at fourteen. Then we arrived at fifteen, of which there were a few. And there was one in particular I looked for.

“I did, yes. For him.”

He looked at the picture. “Oooh, cute. Fifteen?”

“He was sixteen. Had to do a grade repetition, transferring in from where I don't remember. He was my first.”

“Ahhh…what was his name?”

“Ezra Neumann,” I answered softly. Gosh, I had so many fond memories. I wondered what had become of him.

“Jewish kid?”

“Yes,” I nodded. “His dad was in the army. They moved around a lot.“

“You’re originally from Baltimore, right?”

“Well, no. I told you in my letters that I was from there, but that’s not where I was born. I was born in Monterey, California. My mother was from there. But when my parents died and I went to live with my Nan, that’s where I grew up, in Fell’s Point, in the Historical District.”

“Oh, I see. Okay. Well, I grew up here.” He pointed at the deck. “Right here. But you knew that.”

“Yes,” I smiled. I flipped the page. “And this is me at 16.”

Kai feigned to grab his heart.

“Oh yes … very cute. I would’ve been all over you, then.”

“Stop,” I elbowed him, chuckling.

“I’m actually serious. Look at you - you haven't really changed. Maybe filled out a little more, but it’s still basically you: cute smile. Well, okay, the hair….it’s better now.”

Haha. Very true. Back then, big hair and mullets. Mine hadn’t been big hair, but the mullet was there.

Kai chuckled. “I had one too. Everyone had one. I even had a little braid that was even longer. I was very proud of that.”

I shuddered to think of it and he laughed out loud.

The next picture was of Ezra and me. Nan had taken it. It was in our kitchen. Gosh, we looked happy. Big smiles, close together, his arm around me.

“Wow,” Kai muttered softly, “young love.”

“Mhm.”

We flipped further, showing another picture of me at 16, after getting my license to drive. Prom. Graduation. The pictures were a nice collage, really.

“You look a bit lost, there,” Kai nodded at one from when I was sixteen.

“Yes. Ezra had just moved away.”

“Aww. Broken heart, huh?”

“Very much.”

“First loves are the hardest to get over. I remember mine: Billy Paxton.”

“Oh, the one Jack mentioned?”

“The very same.”

“What happened?”

“We were together pretty long, actually - up until he went to college. I think that’s why people like Jack still remember. But after he left, it just…petered out, I guess. I joined the Navy not long after. I didn’t want to go to college.”

“And forgot him pretty quickly, I imagine? All those young men and testosterone?” I guessed.

“Oh yes. Well, okay, that’s not entirely fair to that relationship, because I was heartbroken for a while. Y’know, morose, depressed. Thinking the world ended. But it wasn’t the deciding factor to go into the Navy, because I always wanted to. He knew that, too. The distance is what killed it, I guess.”

“And the young men, and the testosterone,” I snickered. He squeezed my shoulder.

“You make it sound like I was a sex maniac.”

“I wouldn’t know,” I said, “I wasn’t there.”

He bit his lip. “Yeahhhh,” he said, slowly, “I guess I was. But to my defense, going into the Navy as a young gay guy, that’s like tying a cat onto bacon.”

Ha ha! Never heard that before. That was funny.

He chuckled. “Not really a defense is it?”

“Nope.”

“Okay, fine - yes - I was a horny otter.”

“Otter?”

“Well, it’s stereotyping, but you know what a twink is, yes?”

“Mhm…”

“Well, the hairy version is a…?”

“Otter? Oh wow - I did not know that.”

“And a fox is an otter over forty.”

“I learned something new today. So you’re a fox, huh?”

“I guess so,” he grinned.

“Well, you’re foxy.”

“Ha! Thank you?”

“You’re welcome,” I grinned, flipping the page. And then quickly turning it back.

“Ooh, something I’m not allowed to see?”

Well…okay, I guess maybe he should know now. The next picture would reveal something about me.

My pseudonym.

I flipped the page.

It was a release photo. Not an official one, because those don’t exist. It was just me, and my first book, which never became a bestseller. But it was the first ever release of one of my novels in print. Nan had taken the picture, again at our kitchen table. It showed me holding the book, very proud. I was 21 at the time. It’d been a dismal failure, really. It sold maybe 200 copies. I don’t like to be reminded of it. But…I still have the copy that was shown in the picture.

Beside me, Kai frowned, then leaned closer, squinting his eyes. And made the connection.

He didn’t say a word. He just glanced at me, then looked at the picture again. I waited.

“You’re….her?”

“Yes.”

Another long silence. And then he began to softly laugh.

“Ahuh! Well, now I get why you don’t advertise yourself. That’d be a little difficult. I’ve heard of your books! Megan reads them. I think she has at least three or four of them.”

I felt my cheeks color. Yes, my books were quite popular with women. I was once compared to a famous female writer whom many know, who sold hundreds of millions of books. The difference between us (apart from her passing years ago) was that mine always seemed to represent men in a better way than she usually did, especially in the erotic parts - what many reviews referred to as ‘raunchy.’

“She can never know.”

“I won’t tell a soul.”

“Don’t make me get a lawyer in here and have you sign an NDA,” I chuckled.

“I'll happily sign one, if you like,” he smiled, “and I so am going to read them now.”

“Oh, please don’t,” I groaned. But I was quite glad of his reaction. “Really, it’s not geared toward men.”

“Oh, I know. I think the last time Meg read one of yours, she had to put it down because, and I quote, she 'almost slid off her chair’. Innocent, my ass! Where did you learn all that?”

I chuckled. “Oh, I hear things, and see things. Several of my female friends tell me things they…encounter.”

“Do they know you use it? That you’re…her?”

“No. They do not. I don’t write it verbatim, and always set it in a different locale. But they never hold back details, so I can write part of their experience and wrap it in various scenes.”

“Smart.”

“Well, I have to be smart about it. Or it wouldn’t work.”

“Your publisher knows, though?”

“Yes. And my editor. And now you.”

He frowned. “No one else? Not even….previous partners?”

“No one.”

Leaning back, he looked at me, his eyes traveling over my face.

“Wow,” he eventually said. “Thank you for trusting me with it. And I promise, I’ll never tell a living soul.”

“I’d appreciate that.”

He slowly shook his head.

“Wow…”

“Stop. It’s just a job.”

“Yeah, I know, but…wow! And I am going to read them. And if it’s anything like Megan says, we’re gonna reenact every bit of it.”

Oh gosh…

Now that would be thrilling!