Troublemaker - 1. Chapter One

Todd

“Bottoms up!”

My two best friends and I clinked our mugs together as we relished a Friday evening free of work, chores, and other responsibilities that involve adulting. I took a hearty gulp of my ice-cold beer with foam still slushing on top and exhaled, already feeling the buzz that I so desperately needed after the week that I had.

“So, how’s everyone’s week been?” Channing asked as he took another drink from his mug.

Both Dillon and I grunted in response.

“If you want to know, I had to deal with a resident who thought that a coffee enema was a perfect remedy for a hemorrhoid,” Dillon said before taking a deep gulp.

Channing gagged. “Unless we’re talking about sex, how about we don’t talk about anything that goes in or out of the ass. That would be much appreciated.”

“Here, here,” I agreed, raising my mug.

“Then I guess another resident I cared for yesterday spilling his bedpan all over the floor is not up for discussion either?”

Channing covered his ears as Dillon pleasantly recounted the tale of working in a nursing home, while I just enjoyed my sloshy drink.

My friends and I were at a gay bar called, of course, Bottoms Up. The main attraction of this place was the beer mugs that filled from the bottom up. Aside from that, the venue had a positive, comforting energy, enhanced by its friendly staff and the owner himself. We have frequented this bar since our college years where we gathered to drink beer, catch up, and just chill.

“Hey, Todd. Anything happened to you that doesn’t involve cleaning up fecal matter?” Channing asked with pleading eyes.

“What about oozing bed sores?” Dillon suggested, causing Channing to gag.

I chuckled and said, “Nothing much. Still working full-time at the grocery store like always. Literally the most exciting part of my week was placing new price tags in the cereal section and repeatedly telling Karen that there wasn’t a four-for-one deal on toilet paper.”

“Jeez. Why do you keep working there?”

“Eh, it’s not hard work, and aside from one person, I get along with everyone who works there. Even my manager is a chill dude. Not many people can say that.”

“True that,” Channing said. “My last boss was a complete douchenozzle. You’d think as a manager of the marketing department, he’d accept any help to promote the newest fidget toys the company was trying to sell.”

“Not when you’re just the subordinate,” Dillon clarified.

“Hey, hey. I have great ideas, and if some asshole thinks he knows better than me just because he has a moderately higher salary, then I want no part of it. Sometimes I question whether getting that marketing degree was worth it.”

“At least you have a degree,” I said. “Imagine spending four years of college, switching between several different majors, only to drop out the semester you’re supposed to graduate.”

I still cringed at the memory of the day I was supposed to receive my diploma only to tell my dad what really happened.

“Hey, you still met us, right?” Channing said, bumping his shoulder with mine.

I smiled. “Yeah, you two were the only saving grace, while I was wasting away in college. My first roommate and a frat bro.”

“Sounds like the start of a really bad joke.” Dillon chuckled.

“Or a good porno,” Channing added.

I laughed and remembered all the shit we did together that all began at a fraternity party during the first week of classes. It was a Friday actually which would become a weekly occurrence of us three dudes getting together to hang out and drink beer, this time legally.

“Ah, the Fairy Godfather is here,” Channing said before raising his mug.

I looked to my right and saw an immaculately dressed man in his sixties with a bowtie shaped like fairy wings and a cheerful smile on his face as he approached us. The owner of Bottoms Up, the Fairy Godfather was a very friendly soul who always spent time with his patrons and always overly dressed which added to his charm. Though rumors have said that he was the former boss of a large mafia family back in Italy before he immigrated to the United States, the Godfather was a respectable man who donated to numerous charities and lived a very modest lifestyle outside of his very popular establishment.

Whether he was part of the mafia, Yakuza, or Cartel, he seemed to have distanced himself from whatever past he lived. I wished I could say the same for myself.

“Hello, gentlemen! Enjoying your evening?” Fairy Godfather asked.

“We were until Dillon kept talking about how all the shit he has to deal with at his job at the nursing home, and I mean literally,” Channing said.

“You’re doing God’s work, Dillon. Don’t let anyone shame you for that.”

Dillon smiled. “Oh, I won’t.”

“Ever see yourself in one of those places when you get older, Fairy Godfather?” Channing asked.

“Oh, no. I’ll be here, running his bar until the day I die. No retirement for this old man.”

“How old are you exactly?”

“That I will never tell.” Godfather winked. “But I am old enough to know that one should never waste their youth living in the past.”

“Why do I think that’s directed at me?” I asked.

Godfather chuckled. “No, my boy. Just some words of wisdom.”

I scratched my head, still wondering if Fairy Godfather was listening in on our conversation; he was always a snoop for gossip.

“Anyway, I hope you boys continue having fun and… Oh! Are those new patrons?”

I followed Godfather’s gaze to a couple entering the establishment with the blond woman tugging on a man’s arm, seemingly reluctant to enter inside. Only a second later did I recognize the face of my older brother’s best friend, Barrett, sidling along who I also recognized as his girlfriend, Sabrina. I heard her giggle as he complained about something before sitting at the bar close by.

“Woah, he’s a hunk,” Channing said with wishful eyes.

“Yeah, don’t get your hopes up. Barrett’s straight and is with his girlfriend,” I stated before taking another drink of my beer.

“You know him?” Dillon asked.

“All too well,” I replied mournfully.

“Well, I should welcome them to the establishment!” Godfather said.

“No, wait.”

Before I could stop him, Fairy Godfather strided towards them.

Channing snapped his fingers. “Oh, Barrett’s your brother’s friend, isn’t he?”

“Yup.”

“Something tells me you’re not happy to see him here,” Dillon said with a smirk.

“Uh. That’s an understatement.”

I cautiously turned my eyes back to the bar and watched Fairy Godfather chatting with Sabrina and then…crap. Barrett looked at me with wide eyes before giving an awkward wave in my direction. I gave a weak one in return and turned my head away.

“Wait, you said he’s straight? What’s he doing in the gayest part of the city?” Channing asked.

“Probably because of Sabrina, checking out the popular gay hotspots like we’re a zoo or something,” I said and then instantly regretting my words.

I didn’t know Sabrina too well, only that she was friends with Barrett and my brother, Anthony, since their high-school days. I was still in middle school, so I didn’t spend much time in their circle. However, every encounter I had with her was friendly, and she even offered me skin advice one time that actually did wonders to rid me of my acne problem. She was genuinely a nice person, unlike someone else whose name always caused me only pain and anger.

“Why don’t you say hi?” Channing insisted.

“What? Are you kidding? He’s the last person I want to see right now. Or ever!”

“That’s a shame. What I’d do to that man if he was the least bit curious…”

“Nah, you wouldn’t want to hook up with someone who would rather punch you in the face for even looking at him that way,” I stated.

“He’s that kind of guy, huh?” Dillon said.

I nodded.

I looked back at the bar and saw Sabrina waving her whole arm at me. I waved back and hoped to the gods above that she wouldn’t come to our table. But alas, she did and dragged Barrett along with her, which was the cherry on a shit sundae.

“Todd! Hi! Nice to see you!” Sabrina greeted.

“Yeah. Nice to see you too. Uh…hey, Barrett.”

“Oh, um… Hi,” Barrett said before looking anywhere but me.

An awkward silence began forming, and I tried to clear it by saying, “I’m here with my friends. This is Channing and Dillon.”

My friends smiled and raised their mugs, and Sabrina smiled brightly in return, while Barrett cleared his throat. Asshole couldn’t wait to get out of here.

“Do you guys come here often?” Sabrina asked.

“Every Friday night,” Channing answered. “First time coming here?”

“Yup! I wanted to see what all the hype was about. And I had to bring Barrett along because–”

“Hey, Sabrina. Our orders are probably ready. I’ll go check,” Barrett insisted, already taking a step back.

“No, stay put. I’ll get our food,” Sabrina said, flashing another smile at us before skipping away.

Barrett sighed and turned back to our table. “So…nice place, huh?”

I cringed at the lame attempt at conversation, but Channing just laughed and said, “Yeah, and it's owned by the Fairy Godfather himself.”

“Oh. So, people do really call him that.”

Dillon hummed in agreement. “Yeah, he got his name from all the charities he donates to, mostly towards homeless queer youth.”

“Though, his mafia ties might’ve also contributed to his title too,” Channing added.

“He’s seriously part of the mafia?” Barrett asked.

“Was part of the mafia,” I corrected. “A former mafia boss to be specific. But those are just rumors probably made by people against the charities he donates to.”

“So…he doesn’t grant wishes like in Cinderella?”

“Oh, so donating to kids who became homeless because their family kicked out just for who they are isn’t enough for you?” I said with anger.

“No, no! I didn’t…”

Barrett just bowed his head and didn’t say anything else as he twiddled with his necklace.

Yeah, you better feel bad.

I didn’t want Barrett to be here at all, especially at a place that I always thought of as a safe space. The guy was an asshole, and his smoldering, scruffy look made me hate him even more. Damn him and his big muscles that filled his clothes so well.

Sabrina came back and said, “Hey, I got the chili cheese fries… Hey, do you guys mind if Barrett and I sit at your table?”

I was about to protest when clapping erupted in the background. I looked past Sabrina to see two people pushing a karaoke machine on wheels onto the small, raised platform at the back of the bar. My bad mood perked up slightly with desire to give the machine a try.

“Oh, what’s happening?” Sabrina asked excitedly.

“Must be karaoke night,” Channing said, standing up to see the machine being set up. “We also have nights for stand-up comedy, slam poetry, and other events.”

“That sounds so fun!” Sabrina said. “Hey, we should sing the first song.”

Barrett immediately shook his head, which caused me to snicker. “No, I’m good.”

“Oh, come on. Just one song. Hurry! People are already lining up.”

“But I can’t sing.”

“Doesn’t matter. We’ll have fun regardless.”

Sabrina placed their food on the table before tugging the man with both hands, and Barrett reluctantly followed her to the stage.

I snickered again. “This should be interesting.”

The Fairy Godfather was also on the stage and motioned his hand towards the couple, saying something about new patrons getting the first song. Sabrina looked ecstatic as she stepped onto the wooden platform, while Barrett was the complete opposite with slumped shoulders and hands in his jean pockets. The Godfather handed them their mics and the lights soon dimmed with the exception of the spotlights above the stage.

I smiled upon hearing the beginning of Dancing Queen by ABBA. Sabrina began swaying her hips to the beat, and Barrett just stood there, most likely wishing he was eating his chili cheese fries than singing to an audience full of strangers.

Just as the first line of lyrics appeared on the large projector screen behind them, Sabrina suddenly pulled out her phone and whoever was calling was important enough for her to walk off the stage. A stunned-looking Barrett reached his hand to her, but she was already walking towards the restroom when everyone in the bar chanted for him to sing.

I cringed so hard upon hearing Barrett sing the lyrics of a song he clearly hadn’t heard before based on the very awkward pitches of his voice. What was worse was that I felt bad for him as he fumbled with the words and some people even booed him. I should’ve been relishing this moment, pulled out my phone, and recorded the entire scene unfolding. However, as he started to stumble away from the stage, I, for whatever reason, leapt from my seat, and scurried to his rescue.

On the stage, I grabbed the mic attached to its stand and sang aloud, “And when you get the chance… You are the Dancing Queen!”

People started cheering and clapping, the shitshow suddenly saved as I continued singing this classic song without even looking at the screen of the karaoke machine.

As I sang about a teaser who turned them on, Barrett stood a distance away from me, mouth agape, and eyes wide as I sang to the best of my ability to ABBA’s magical words about a dancing queen. Against my better judgment, I stepped closer to him and sang out my soul, trying to get Barrett to sing along with me. Surprisingly, he did just that and though his singing skills didn’t improve by much, he at least copied how I vocalized the lyrics and soon we were singing together to the legendary Swedish band from the grand era of the seventies.

We soon sang the final chorus, and I belted out the words that felt young and sweet like only a seventeen-year-old me would feel. I then felt the beat from the tambourine, and I danced, and I jived, and at that moment I was having the time of my life, seeing Barrett and watching the scene of him awkwardly dancing as we dug the dancing queen.

And as quickly as I jumped on the stage, the song ended and everyone in the bar erupted in applause. I was breathing deeply, not realizing how much energy I put into singing, and I gazed at Barrett who smiled sheepishly at me. A flutter in my chest caused me to smile back as the clapping continued.

The encore eventually calmed, and I fumbled with placing the mic back on the stand before leaving the stage.

“Todd, my man! That was awesome!” Channing said as he slung an arm around my shoulders. “Dillon got it all on his phone.”

“It’s been a while since I last heard you sing,” Dillon noted, showing me his phone that played back the footage of Barrett and me singing.

I chuckled at my overly exaggerated movements as Barrett meekly sang along with me. “Don’t you even dare post that online.”

“Oh, come on! This’ll easily go viral,” Channing insisted, earning him an eye roll from me.

We returned to our table where Sabrina was, clapping her hands.

“That was amazing! I didn’t know you could sing like that, Todd,” Sabrina said.

“Heh, thanks,” I replied.

“And thanks for ditching me to sing by myself,” Barrett said as he approached the table.

“Sorry. It was an important call. But it looked like you had fun singing with Todd though,” Sabrina said with a wink.

Barrett eyed me and smiled. “Yeah. I did.”

The same flutter was felt, and I looked away from him and hoped I didn’t blush.

Not now, Todd. Not for this guy.

“What? Seriously?”

I looked back at Barrett who had a mouthful of chili cheese fries.

“Sorry. I really need to go. It’s important…but I’m sure Todd and his friends will keep you company.”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Uh, well…”

“Don’t worry! He can hang out with us,” Channing said.

“Channing…”

“Don’t worry. I’ll flirt and make him feel uncomfortable, so he’ll leave,” Channing whispered to me before turning to Sabrina. “We’ll take care of your boyfriend.”

“Oh, he’s not my boyfriend anymore,” Sabrina said nonchalantly.

That was certainly surprising news.

“Sabrina…” Barrett grumbled.

“Bye, everyone!”

Sabrina immediately skedaddled out of the bar, leaving Barrett once again to stand awkwardly at our table with Channing gazing flirtatiously at him and me wishing he didn’t look like a shy, defenseless baby animal left in the wildest part of town.

This was going to be a long night.