“You look horrible. What happened?”

Shaun stood in the grass, his hair frizzy and tangled, his eyes red, and his clothes rumpled. He looked exhausted. “Party,” he grumbled.

“Party?” Jesse closed the door. He was in an undershirt and boxer briefs, but there was no one around. He stepped into the grass and cautiously approached his boyfriend. He stopped three feet away and looked him up and down. “Must have been a hell of a party,” he chuckled nervously.

Shaun gazed sadly into his face.

Jesse scratched his head. “Are you alright?”

Shaun closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Jesse’s middle. He hugged him so tight, he forced all the air out of his body.

“I can’t breathe,” Jesse wheezed.

Shaun let him go immediately. He stepped back. “Sorry.”

Jesse sighed. He felt...odd. He’d been waiting for Shaun to appear for over a week, but now that he was here… “Let’s get in your car,” he suggested. “So, we don’t have to stand in the wet grass.”

Shaun nodded dumbly.

They walked to the car. Side by side. Their hands were close, but neither of them broke the distance a second time.

Jesse climbed in the passenger seat as Shaun got in beside him. He gripped the steering wheel and stared blankly out the windshield. He was quiet for a long time. “I don’t even know where to start,” he said finally. “I shouldn’t have called you a whore.”

Jesse sighed. “I kind of figured you would.”

Shaun looked at him sharply.

“You’re a jealous person. I knew you wouldn’t take the news well.”

Shaun made a face, but then, he smoothed his expression and looked away. “I just wish it hadn’t happened.”

“Well, it did,” Jesse said. “And there’s nothing you or I can do to change it.”

Shaun dropped his head between his arms. He took a slow, deep breath. Then he looked up. He gazed intently into Jesse’s eyes. “Was she pretty?”

Jesse quirked an eyebrow. “Crystal? Not really.”

“Did you love her?”

Jesse laughed. “Not even for a minute.”

“Why didn’t you wear a condom?”

“We did. The first time,” Jesse said. “I think she had one from health class earlier in the year. I pulled out the other two times, but obviously….”

Shaun clenched his teeth. He looked away and glared severely at the van parked in front of them. “I don’t need all the details.”

Jesse studied the boy beside him. Shaun was stiff with stress and anger.

Sam had stayed home with him yesterday, and they’d had a great time entertaining the kids, playing video games, bullshitting about high school and girls, and smoking Kyle’s weed when they had a chance. Shaun looked awful. “What happened to you last night?” he asked.

Shaun looked at him. “Do you really want to know?”

That, of course, made Jesse want to know even more. “Tell me,” he urged.

Shaun sighed. “I took acid.”

Jesse blinked a few times in rapid succession. “You did?”

Shaun looked at him guiltily. His brows were deeply furrowed, and his mouth was downturned. “I kissed the girl who gave it to me. She was a groupie.”

“You kissed a girl?” Jesse’s face screwed up.

“I think I was experimenting,” Shaun muttered. “I was already tripping balls at that point, I’m not excusing myself, but I was really into her hair, too. It made me think of you.”

Jesse reached up and smoothed his hand over his velvet head. “Was she bald?”

“No.” Shaun rolled his eyes. “She had long hair. You’ve seen her before. Remember that girl we talked to at Harry’s party?”

Jesse thought for a moment. Then the woman in question popped into mind. What was her name…

“Nicky,” Shaun said and Jesse doubled over in agony.

“Ooooooh,” he moaned. He buried his face between his knees and covered his head with his arms. He stayed like that for a solid minute. The sexy woman from Harry’s party danced in his mind’s eye. She taunted him with her curvy hips and her breasts.

“I didn’t like it,” Shaun grumbled. “I was morbidly curious at first, but then I fell all over myself trying to get away from her.”

Jesse sat up. “Yeah right.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Jesse folded his arms. “Too late.”

“I came to tell you that I’m sorry and that I miss you and that I promise I’ll never do anything this stupid ever again,” Shaun said in a rush, his cheeks turning a fetching shade of red.

Jesse fought a smile. “How was the acid?”

“Terrible,” Shaun groaned. “I had a bad trip.”

“I heard you have to be someplace comfortable for it to work.”

“I definitely wasn’t comfortable.”

Jesse snorted. “Maybe stick with the weed.”

Shaun looked into his eyes again and Jesse met them grudgingly. He was upset. Shaun had ignored him for days and now he was crawling back, after he’d kissed someone else. But Shaun’s dark eyes were tinged with a vulnerability that Jesse couldn’t bring himself to destroy.

Shaun spoke in a deep, slow voice. “I’m sorry, Jesse. For everything. For calling you mean names. For abandoning you. For kissing that girl, even if I was high and wasn’t in my right mind…”

Jesse pressed his lips together. “I accept.”

“I wish you’d been at the show yesterday,” Shaun said with a faint smile. “It went really well.”

Jesse perked up. “Did Harry take pictures for you?”

“I’m sure Gretchen’s editing them now...”

“She’s been texting me, you know,” Jesse said and Shaun snarled.

“She’s been texting everybody.”

Jesse smiled. “She messaged me last night that you’d had a good show.”

Shaun curled his lip.

“She probably messaged me this morning, too. When you left. But I didn’t get a chance to check my phone before I came down. Rocks at the window? Really?”

Shaun looked deeply unhappy. “I didn’t want to fuck with your mom, so….”

Jesse chuckled. “Point taken. But I’m not sure she would have even bothered to come to the door. She must have rolled into bed around three. She’ll be out for another hour or two.”

Shaun nodded. He looked disinterested.

“So,” Jesse hedged. “What about Brian?”

“What about him?”

“He misses you,” Jesse said and Shaun started to fidget. He made a nasty face. “He thinks you hate him. He doesn’t understand what’s going on,” Jesse continued, his heart falling when Shaun turned away completely.

“I don’t think I can face him yet,” he grumbled.

“Please, Shaun,” Jesse urged. “He’s a little kid.”

Shaun drew his shoulders inward. “I’m not ready, Jesse.”

“Alright,” Jesse huffed, but it wasn’t alright. Not really. “I won’t ask again.”

“It’s better this way, Jesse,” Shaun said darkly. “If I see him now, I don’t think I can be nice.”

Jesse gaped at him in total disbelief. “You’re being an asshole! He’s the same person as before. Why can’t you just pretend?”

Shaun turned his head so Jesse could just see his face. He was scowling. “I can’t pretend,” he sneered.

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t stop thinking about how much I wish he wasn’t alive.”

“I’m getting out of your car now,” Jesse said heatedly. “Thanks for stopping by.” He grabbed the door handle, but Shaun snatched his wrist lightning quick. Jesse twisted around and found himself nose to nose with him.

Shaun licked his lips. His gaze slid down to Jesse’s mouth as he spoke. “I know he’s your son, alright. Brian goes where you go,” he said roughly. “ I know I have to step up and be daddy number two. I get it. We can’t leave Brian behind. He’s not going away. “

Jesse studied Shaun’s face. The beard was really coming along. It had filled in nicely and added a rough and masculine edge to Shaun’s appearance. It was man-makeup.

Shaun’s dark brown eyes swirled with emotion. Jesse reached up and hesitantly cupped Shaun’s face. He ran his fingers through the rough hair on his jaw, silently appreciating his handsome features.

Shaun closed his eyes and leaned into his hand. He nuzzled his face against Jesse’s palm, like a cat. “Just give me some more time to wrap my head around this,” he muttered. He pressed his lips against Jesse’s fingers. “You deserve better,” he said softly. “Brian deserves better. But I can’t make myself be someone I’m not. You’re going to have to work with me.”

Jesse nodded. He felt that was a reasonable request. “That’s what partners do. They work together.”

Shaun sat up and Jesse’s hand slid down to his shoulder. As they gazed into each other’s eyes, Jesse felt the beginnings of arousal unfurl in his belly. Shaun’s stare was very intense. Jesse’s cock started to get chubby from the look. Then Shaun shifted closer and captured Jesse’s lips.

Jesse gasped as Shaun’s warm mouth enclosed his bottom lip. Shaun kissed him slowly at first, experimentally. His facial hair tickled Jesse’s cheeks and his lips slid sensuously along Jesse’s.

Jesse closed his eyes and moaned as a wash of hot blood rushed to his cock. He was incredibly aroused. And Shaun was too. As the kiss became more heated, Shaun leaned over the armrest and forced Jesse against the window. He gripped the edge of Jesse’s seat while he supported the back of his neck with the other. He swiped his tongue along his bottom lip and Jesse opened his mouth with a groan and accepted him.

They kissed passionately, their tongues slipping and sliding together in Jesse’s hot mouth. Shaun kissed him persistently. Jesse couldn’t keep up with his relentless tongue and his desperate lips. A mixture of their saliva wetted his chin and his cheeks. Their kissing was so frantic, spit was going everywhere.

With a deep, chest-rumbling moan, Shaun let go of the seat and cradled Jesse’s face between both his large hands. He pulled back and stared lustfully into Jesse’s blue eyes.

Jesse blinked at him in a daze. The windows were steaming up. He hoped no one could see them because it was obvious they were both aroused. Shaun’s cheeks were brick red. He breathed heavily and his mouth was shiny with spit. Jesse didn’t know what he looked like exactly, but he knew his lips were swollen. They throbbed gently as he breathed through his mouth. The cool air ghosting across his wet bottom lip made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

“I love you, Jesse,” Shaun said adamantly. “I forgot for a second, but...well, don’t let me forget.”

“Pfft.” Jesse rolled his eyes. “How could you forget? I bet Gretchen tore you a new asshole the second you told her.”

Shaun’s eyes flashed.

“I love you, too,” Jesse said quickly. “I didn’t forget. I was waiting for you to come out of your funk.”

Shaun sneered.

“I know you need to be handled with care, baby,” Jesse said. “We’ve all got to walk on eggshells around you,” he chuckled as he patted Shaun affectionately on the shoulder.

Shaun shuddered and released him. He turned away with a frown. “You just patted me like I’m your pet.”

Jesse rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Shaun crossed his arms and grumbled under his breath.

“Do you want to come inside?” Jesse asked, hoping to change the subject. “Brian would love to see you.”

The pouty look melted away and Shaun’s face paled. “Actually… I just remembered I left my guitar at Gretchen’s.”

Jesse quirked an eyebrow.

“I’m not sure it’s even at Gretchen’s. Shit!” Shaun cursed under his breath. “I have to go find my guitar, Jess. I can’t come in today.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Shaun leaned over the armrest again and kissed the corner of Jesse’s mouth. “I’ll come by tomorrow.”

Jesse stiffened. “Is that a promise? Should I tell Brian or hold off?”

“Probably hold off,” Shaun said with a wince. “Just in case.” He turned the key in the ignition. “I’ll see you real soon, though. Promise.”

Jesse got out of the car. Before he shut the door, he gave Shaun a pensive look.

Shaun drummed his fingertips against the steering wheel as he waited for Jesse to shut the door. He stared straight ahead out the windshield.

Jesse shut the door and finally, Shaun turned to give him a brief wave. Then he backed out of the drive and took off down the road.

Jesse felt curiously empty as he stood barefoot in the gravel drive. He hadn’t noticed the rocks before, when he’d been with Shaun, but now they were cutting up his toes.

His erection was long gone.

He stared after Shaun’s Mustang. “Well, fuck.”

***

Shaun didn’t come by at all Monday. Jesse was by himself starting at noon and as the day slowly slipped away, stressful, like always, but mostly uneventful, and Shaun didn’t show, Jesse’s mood began to plummet.

Shaun was avoiding him. Again.

It was Tuesday morning and Jesse and Sam were watching the new TV Cliff had brought over Sunday morning, after Shaun had come by. Jesse had never heard of the brand before, but Monica had made a big deal out of it when Cliff had set it up. She said it was expensive and that he’d done everyone a huge favor for picking it up.

They hadn’t had to wait long for the other shoe to drop and Monica to lay out the terms. Cliff had replaced the TV, now Monica wanted something in return. She had announced over Sunday dinner that she and Cliff were going away for the weekend. She hadn’t said the actual words, but Jesse got the hint. He was expected to watch the house over the weekend. His plans were totally moot.

Shaun hadn’t mentioned it, but Gretchen had texted Jesse the dates of the next two events. Defaced’s next show was this Saturday. Of course.

“What are you up to today?” he asked Sam. Brian and the twins were playing on the floor in front of them. They were building a city on the carpet with a pile of random toys. They weren’t being quiet, but they were behaving.

Sam had Lissa in his lap. The little girl noisily sucked her fingers as she stared at the TV. “Kyle’s coming around noon,” he said with a shrug. He played absently with Lissa’s red curls. “We didn’t have anything planned, though.”

Jesse nodded slowly. “You could ask him to come in for a while.”

Sam glanced at him. “Really?”

“Yeah. He said we could talk about Shaun if I wanted…”

Sam curled his lip. “I thought you guys made up. What’s there to talk about?”

“He’s avoiding me,” Jesse said and he leaned back heavily into the couch. He stared boredly at the screen. They’d gotten a huge upgrade. They’d had a little 32” before. Cliff had set up a 65” Smart TV and he’d logged into his Hulu account before he’d left so they could check it out. After the hype had faded, Jesse and Sam had resorted to binge watching Family Guy. “He said he’d be by yesterday, but he never showed.”

“I thought he was busy with the band.”

“He is, but practice is today. He was home yesterday. All day. He couldn’t find the time to come see me. Not even for a little bit?”

Sam grumbled disagreeably.

“Yeah. That’s what I thought too,” Jesse sighed.

“No! Townhall goes here!” Tyler whined. He grabbed Allison’s pink dollhouse from its spot in front of the TV and placed it firmly on the coffee table.

“But it’s the art museum,” Brian said. His bottom lip started to protrude. “Allison said it was okay.”

Allison shrugged. She was playing with her Barbies in the toy car. “Barbie and Ken want to get married, so townhall makes more sense.”

“They can get married at the museum, too,” Brian complained.

Tyler opened the dollhouse. “Townhall,” he said importantly. “Is where rich people get married.”

Sam grabbed the remote and skipped to the next episode. “I’ve seen all of these a million times,” he groaned.

Jesse shrugged.

“I’m so bored. I can’t wait for school to start again.”

“I can’t believe you said that,” Jesse said in amazement. He patted his brother on the back. “Something tells me you’re not talking about trigonometry.”

Sam smirked. “I’m going to be popular this year. Watch.”

“What makes you say that?” Jesse asked casually.

“You’ll see,” Sam said vaguely. “Maybe I finally won’t embarrass you anymore.”

“Unfortunately, I think it’ll be the other way around. I’m the least popular kid in class, now.”

“I find that so hard to believe.”

“You don’t have to believe me. You’ll see for yourself,” Jesse said miserably. “Nobody talks to me anymore. This year is going to suck. If Shaun really follows through with his plans to drop out.”

“What a loser,” Sam grumbled. “He’s got one more year. Just finish and get out of there.”

“He wants to concentrate on the band,” Jesse sighed. “They’re signed up for a competition in October.”

Sam curled his lip, but he said no more. They watched TV as Monica flitted up and down the stairs, multitasking between getting ready and trying to grab something to eat. She left before ten.

The kids on the floor continued to bicker over which building went where.

“I think the mansion should be by the waterfall,” Brian said. He lifted the upside down Lego bucket from beside the couch and placed it in front of the armchair. Allison had draped a blue baby blanket from the seat, so it spilled across the floor. She said it was the town’s swimming hole.

Tyler knelt by the baby bouncer. He was building Ken’s corporate office building with blocks, but when he saw Brian changing the layout, he leapt up and stomped across the room.

“No! There aren’t any houses there,” he insisted. He snatched up the bucket and carried it back to the couch. “They live at the base of the mountain because Ken has a secret Batcave under here.” He lifted the dust flap on the bottom of the couch. “See?”

Brian bolted after him. “You don’t get to decide everything!” He seized the bucket and hurried back to the armchair.

Jesse sighed. He was going to have to intervene soon. Sam was watching the argument as well, but he was feeding the baby cut up grapes from a Ziploc container. Jesse decided he’d take charge.

“This is where everyone goes swimming!” Tyler ran after Brian. He gripped the edge of the bucket and tugged. “You’re not the mayor. I am. Nobody is supposed to live here!”

“Grr! You’re always the boss!” Brian fought back. He clutched his side of the bucket with both his little hands and pulled with all his might.

“That’s enough!” Jesse cried as he jumped between them. He plucked the bucket from the young boys and held it over their heads.

“Let go, Jesse!” Tyler demanded.

“Jess!” Brian whined. He stretched up on his toes to reach.

“I think everyone’s getting a little stir crazy in here,” Jesse said in a firm voice. “Allison! Grab a ball upstairs and meet us out front. We’re going to play some kickball.”

Tyler’s expression changed in an instant. “Sam’s on my team!”

“Jesse’s on mine!” Brian cheered.

“Oh god, I hate kickball,” Sam groaned.

The whole family was on the front lawn when Kyle’s Cadillac rolled down the road. They weren’t playing kickball anymore. Jesse and Sam were playing keep-away with the kids. Tyler, Allison, and Brian chased after them and the ball desperately, laughing and yelling with delight. The baby sat on a blanket in the grass. She watched cheerfully from the sidelines.

Jesse stopped as Kyle pulled in the drive. Tyler ran into him from behind and tumbled dramatically into the grass.

“Oof,” Tyler grunted. “No fair. You have to surrender the ball because you knocked me down.”

Jesse kicked the ball to him. He didn’t care anymore. Tyler grabbed it up immediately and raced down the lawn with it. Allison and Brian followed him.

“Wait up!” Allison cried. “I thought we were gonna play tag!”

Sam stepped up beside Jesse. Together they watched as Kyle parked the Cadillac and climbed out. He waved over the hood of the car. “Looks like fun!”

Jesse sighed. He hoped he wouldn’t regret this...like last time.

Kyle approached. He wore shorts today, but nothing outrageous. They fell just over his knee, leaving his smooth, tanned calves exposed. His eyes lit up as he met Jesse’s gaze. “Jesse?”

Jesse furrowed his brows. “Kyle.”

Kyle stopped in front of the two brothers. He beamed at each of them in greeting. “Nice to see you boys enjoying the weather. Isn’t it beautiful out?”

Jesse shaded his eyes with a hand and looked up into the brilliant sunlight.

“Is it hot enough for you yet?” Kyle joked.

Jesse smiled tightly. “Do you have a minute to talk? Or are you and Sam in a rush?”

Kyle quirked an eyebrow. He shared a glance with Sam.

“I told you. We have nothing planned,” Sam said and then, in a stage-whisper to Kyle, “He needs relationship advice.”

Jesse grit his teeth as Kyle chuckled with delight. That noise always set him off. “Relationship advice? This’ll be interesting.

They joined the baby on the blanket. Jesse plunked down on his butt and pulled his knees up to his chest. Sam sprawled out on his back beside the baby, taking up as much space as possible.

Kyle perched on the corner. He folded his legs Indian-style and rested his hands in his lap. “So, what’s going on?” he asked.

Jesse glanced across the lawn at Shaun’s place. “He’s avoiding me.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “He stopped by Sunday morning. Woke us up throwing rocks at the window.”

Kyle laughed. “You told me. Reminds me of Romeo and Juliette.”

Jesse sighed. “Yeah, well, this story didn’t end well either. Shaun told me he wished Brian didn’t exist. Then we made out in his car.”

Sam cringed. “Eww.”

“When I invited him to come inside, he said he forgot his guitar at his bandmate’s house, and he had to go.”

“I’m sorry.” Kyle held up a hand. “What’s this about Brian?”

Jesse glanced at Sam in surprise as the baby crawled closer to the teen. “Really? You told Shaun, but not Kyle?” he snorted. “Thanks so much for protecting my privacy.”

Sam smirked. The baby patted him on the cheek, and he smiled at her distractedly. “You know me, number one, world’s best brother.” He gave Lissa a big, silly grin. She giggled in reply.

Jesse smiled faintly at the pair. “Brian’s my kid.”

Kyle’s eyes widened. “I guess you weren’t joking when you said you had experience.”

Jesse laughed. “Right.”

“Yeah, so, I gave Shaun the exclusive the other day. After he came and Rambo’ed me out of your house.” Sam grabbed the baby and lifted her in the air. She squealed with joy.

“Mmm, I remember.”

“Well, he lost his mind again,” Sam said with an eye roll. He pretended Lissa was an airplane and flew her around with his long arms. “He screamed in front of the kids and called Jesse a whore.”

“He didn’t do it in front of the kids,” Jesse cut in nervously.

“Yes he did. He’s a freak,” Sam sneered. Then he lowered the baby to his mouth and blew a raspberry on her belly. Lissa screamed with laughter. “He upset everybody. He’s always doing that.”

“You upset me too sometimes,” Jesse snapped. “But I just call you my little brother.”

Sam ignored him. “Want to go up high, Lissa? Up in the sky?” The baby babbled excitedly in reply and Sam zoomed her through the air. “Weeeeee! Whoa! Look out! Crash landing!” He dumped Lissa in Jesse’s lap.

Jesse sighed. He unfolded his legs and cuddled the baby to his chest. “Shaun’s jealous of Brian. He won’t say it, but I’m sure of it.”

“He’s not as important anymore,” Sam said in a baby-voice.

Jesse kissed Lissa’s head. “I don’t know why he’d think that. He’s been helping me with the kids for months. It’s a surprise, but it’s not a surprise. We’ve been talking about moving since school let out and I’ve always told him Brian has to come with us,” he said. “I’m serious about making it happen. I can’t wait to get away from my mother, but Shaun’s fucking around with the band….” he felt bad for saying that. He felt like he was throwing Shaun under the bus. They’d discussed the band and how it fit into their plans. They’d agreed to do this. Together.

Kyle looked away. When Jesse followed his eyes, he realized he was gazing at Shaun’s house. He smiled shrewdly. “Shaun’s got quite the presence with the new band. He owns the stage.”

Jesse peered at the blond suspiciously. “You went to a show?”

“I heard he was playing in West Columbia,” Kyle said as his smile widened. “I was in the neighborhood.”

Jesse narrowed his eyes. “Did he see you?”

“There was a crowd of excited people. Of course not,” Kyle said.

Sam sat up. “What was he like?”

“Like pure sex,” Kyle raved. “You should have seen it, Jess. There wasn’t a dry set of panties in the house.”

Jesse winced as his brother cackled with amusement.

“You’re joking, right?”

“I’m not.”

Sam laughed hysterically by himself until, finally, Jesse kicked him in the ass.

“Shut up.”

Sam rubbed his bottom. “Ouch.” He glared at Jesse. “Faggot.”

“Shaun may actually have something with this silly project he’s started,” Kyle said casually. “That was my point.”

“I didn’t say it was silly,” Jesse said, frowning.

Kyle gave him a look. “Maybe you should be a bit more supportive.”

Jesse gaped at him. “Me?!”

“You said it yourself, Shaun’s been helping you with the kids since day one. I don’t think he’s jealous of Brian.”

Sam made a face. “Whatever.”

“Well, he’s definitely jealous of Brian’s mom,” Jesse said with a sigh. “He asked a bunch of questions about her and when I answered, he said he didn’t want any ‘details’. Brian’s just a victim in the crosshairs.”

Kyle snorted.

“I don’t know what to say to Brian anymore. He knows Shaun’s mad at him for some reason. He can’t figure out why, though. He wants to apologize.” Jesse hugged Lissa tight.

Kyle leaned closer and tickled Lissa’s cheek. The little girl smiled and reached for his long fingers. “I see your predicament,” he said as he scooted closer and let the baby explore his hand. “But, listen, we can hate on Shaun all day, or we can figure out how to win him back.”

“Win him back?” Jesse chewed his lip. “I didn’t even tell you the worst part yet.”

Kyle raised an eyebrow.

“He kissed a girl,” he said. “A groupie. At a party last weekend. He said he didn’t like it, but…”

“Ooooh.” Kyle looked incredibly smug. “You aren’t satisfying his needs. Are you?”

“Y-yes, I am!” Jesse stuttered. His face was on fire.

Kyle gave him a disbelieving look.

“I mean, we haven’t had sex in over a week—”

“That poor boy,” Kyle bemoaned. “He’s got so much testosterone in that red blood of his...” He smiled slowly. “Go to him, Jesse. Help him find release.”

Jesse face palmed. “That’s not the problem!”

“These problems are only the symptom. There’s a much larger issue at hand. He’s jealous of your ex, he’s kissing groupies, he’s probably kicking puppies in his free-time, too.”

Jesse continued to worry his lip. “I don’t know…”

“So, go fuck him? That’ll solve everything. “Sam snorted. “Poof! Like magic?”

“He’s easier to talk to after an orgasm or two. Isn’t he?”

Jesse felt a chill run down his spine. “Please tell me you aren’t saying this from experience.”

Kyle waved a hand. “All men are the same. Their brains turn off after a good, satisfying orgasm.”

“Here, here!” Sam raised an invisible glass.

Lissa was struggling to stand, and Jesse pulled the little girl to her feet. She made slow, stumbling steps towards Kyle. The dealer opened his arms and the little girl giggled as she fell against his chest.

Jesse watched Kyle and his little sister interact. “Could you guys watch the kids tomorrow? So, I can go to Shaun’s on my own?”

Kyle lifted his head. He looked flattered. “I’d love, too. When would you need me?”

***

That night, when everyone was asleep and the house was silent, Jesse pulled out the only pictures he had of Shaun. With Sam snoring on the bunk below, he shimmied out of his underwear and palmed his interested cock. Jesse used the flashlight feature on his phone and propped it against the wall, so he could see. With his free hand, he held up the two thin strips of photos he and Shaun had taken on the Fourth of July.

Shaun had given them to Jesse, after all. And Jesse had kept his promise. He stored the photos in the back of his underwear drawer, the same place he hid his money — when he had some, anyway. But Jesse had planned this. He’d slipped the photos under his pillow before bed.

Jesse studied the second strip first. The one where they sat together and shared a kiss. “You’re such an asshole,” he murmured in affection as he studied Shaun’s expression in the first image. He looked gloomy and unpleasant while beside him, Jesse grinned brightly.

He snorted and rolled his eyes. Shaun tried so hard to be miserable...

Jesse moved along, his finger playing up and down the shaft of his semi-hard cock as he took in the second image down, where his lips were pressed to Shaun’s stubbly cheek. Shaun had a growl on his face, but his eyes were warm.

Shaun kissed Jesse in the next two images. There was tension in his shoulders in the first one, but it had melted away in the final shot. They kissed, totally oblivious of the camera. They were wrapped up in each other and their tongues were locked in an intimate embrace.

Jesse’s cock was rigid in his hand. He firmed his grasp and stroked himself hungrily as he switched to the first strip of photos. The blowjob pictures.

He missed Shaun’s cock…. The photos were black and white and a bit grainy, but Shaun’s cock was staring him right in the face and it was beautiful. Shaun’s glorious length, thick and straining with arousal, was maybe a foot away from the camera and it looked gigantic in the inch-high portraits. As Jesse’s eyes traveled down the strip, animating the scene, he pleasured himself to the memory of sucking dick.

Jesse bit his lip and kept quiet as a mouse as he masturbated himself to a quick and messy orgasm. When he came, he caught his seed with a hand around his pulsing cockhead. He gasped and panted for breath in the aftermath, his heart pounding wildly in his chest.

Before he let himself fall asleep, he cleaned himself with the spare handful of toilet paper he’d stashed under his pillow, along with the photos. He put his underwear back on and turned his phone off.

He held the photos to his chest as he lay staring at the ceiling, then he sighed and tucked them back under the pillow until he could hide them again in the morning. He rolled over and forced himself to close his eyes.

He was unaccountably nervous for tomorrow.

***

The next day, Kyle arrived promptly at 4:00. He tried to give Jesse a pep talk, but Jesse handed him the baby and then clasped him on the shoulder.

“I’ve got this,” he said confidently.

“Don’t forget the lube,” Sam teased from the couch. He and Tyler were playing Mario again.

Jesse smirked. “It’s in my back pocket.

Sam gave him a thumbs up over his shoulder.

“And don’t worry about us,” Kyle said, bouncing Lissa on his hip. “We’ll be just fine.”

Brian tugged on Jesse’s pant leg.

Jesse crouched down beside him. “What’s up little man?”

Brian gazed at him shyly. “Can I come, too? I wanted to say I’m sorry. So maybe we can be friends again.”

Jesse sighed. He stroked the toddler’s soft head. “And what are you apologizing for exactly?”

Brian shrugged. “I don’t know. Being a responsibility.”

“That’s a big word for a little boy,” Jesse said with a laugh. He felt like crying, however. He hugged the boy tight. “Shaun isn’t mad at you, baby. I’ve already explained this to you.”

Brian made a tiny sound of distress against Jesse’s chest.

Jesse rubbed Brian’s thin back. “Shaun isn’t mad at you, sweetheart. But he and I need to have a long conversation on our own. We need to talk through a lot of things.”

Brian nodded.

Jesse kissed the crown of his head. “Love you, Bri.”

“Love you, Jess.”

Jesse stood up. He forced himself to smile. “Wish me luck.”

“You don’t need luck,” Kyle said with a wink. He took Lissa’s tiny hand and mimed a wave. “See you soon.”

Jesse left the house. This entire plan was contingent on Shaun being in the garage. He gazed across the lawn… Shaun’s Mustang had disappeared yesterday around dinnertime and hadn’t come back until after the kids went to bed, but it was still there, in the same place as last night. He took a deep breath and stepped into the grass. He didn’t know if Shaun was in the garage, but if he was home, then that would be the first place to look.

Jesse crossed the lawn in just under two minutes. Those two minutes felt like an eternity though. As he got closer, the deep, honeyed sound of Shaun’s guitar reached his ears. He played a slow piece with a dynamic set of notes that flowed together smoothly. He was creating a song from midair and it was beautiful.

Jesse’s heart began to pound. Shaun was in there.

Then, Shaun hit the wrong note. Jesse winced. Even through the concrete wall, it was obviously off-key.

Shaun cursed, “Fuck!” followed closely by the sound of rustling paper and shuffling feet.

Jesse stood outside the door, his heart in his throat. He didn’t know if he should go in or not.

There was a loud, metallic clang. “Goddamn! Fucking shit!”

Jesse jumped.

“Where did I put that fucking knife…” The sound again, a sudden clatter of metal on wood.

Jesse opened the door. Shaun stood across the room with his back to Jesse. He was hunched in front of the tool bench with his fists clenched on the rough, wooden surface. His hair hung over his face, he had his guitar strapped to his back, and his wide shoulders shook with rage.

Shaun’s beloved song book, the spiral-ringed notepad he’d been writing in for months, was on the floor. It was open, page side down. The boxes that were usually lined up neatly along the wall had been kicked around and torn open. The desk chair was overturned in the corner.

The tool bench was the worst though. Shaun must have banged on it more than twice because only two tools remained on the back wall. A wrench and a tiny jewelers screwdriver. A pile of metal tools was scattered below, surrounding Shaun’s powerful fists and he turned around suddenly, his face red, his nostrils flared with fury. “Grandma, I told you not to—”

“Hi,” Jesse said shyly. He held up a hand.

Shaun deflated in an instant. “Jesse.”

“Hi,” Jesse said again with a nervous smile.

Shaun’s face went blank. He turned back to the bench and shoved the tools around in a frantic attempt to clean. “What are you doing here?”

“Sam’s watching the kids for a minute,” Jesse said. He didn’t mention Kyle. He could kiss his chances of a rational conversation goodbye if he spoke the dealer’s name. “I wanted to come check on you.”

Shaun sneered. He glared over his shoulder at Jesse. “Check on me? I don’t need to be checked on.”

Jesse folded his arms. “Well, I was worried when I didn’t see you on Monday. Then you avoided me yesterday, as well.”

Shaun unstrapped his guitar and set it carelessly against the bench. Then he turned away and stormed across the room. He snatched up his notebook, walked to the chair in the corner, and hoisted it off the ground. He slammed it on its wheels again and then fell into it. He glared despondently at his notes as he spun in a slow, lazy circle.

Jesse watched him. “Why are you so upset?

“Because you picked a bad time to check on me,” Shaun said mockingly.

Jesse pouted. “Shaun, I was just worried—”

“There’s nothing to be worried about!” Shaun shouted. “Fuck! What do you want, Jesse? Want to know why I haven’t come by to help you babysit? It’s because I’m busy.”

Jesse took a deep breath. “Are you having issues with—”

“Yes! I can’t get this fucking song right!” Shaun tossed his notebook across the room and glared after it heatedly.

“Maybe you should take a break,” Jesse suggested. “It’s almost dinnertime.”

“Great idea.”

Jesse stepped cautiously across the room. “Are you nervous for the show this weekend? What’s going on?”

Shaun cut him a vicious look. “I’m not nervous.”

Jesse bit his lip. “I just assumed—”

“And how do you know about the show?” Shaun snapped. “I didn’t tell you…” He frowned deeply. “Gretchen.”

Jesse stopped in his tracks. “Were you keeping it a secret?” he asked. His heart sank into the depths of his belly. Shaun had totally shot it down. “She texted me on Monday. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out how I’m going to get there.”

Shaun grumbled under his breath.

“Well, you better tell me now. If you don’t want me to go,” Jesse said bitterly. He couldn’t help himself; he watched his pitiful reactions to Shaun’s unpleasant mood like a cringe-worthy movie. He wished he could make himself stop talking. He wished he could walk away. Now. Before he embarrassed himself even further, but he continued to stand his ground.

“You can come. If you want,” Shaun sneered. He didn’t look at Jesse. He kept his eyes trained on his discarded notebook. “But you’re not going to like it. Gretchen wasn’t lying,” he grumbled. “Girls want to fuck me now.”

Jesse sucked in a breath. “Is that why you don’t want me to go? Or is there another reason?”

Shaun narrowed his eyes. “What other reason would there be?”

“I don’t know…” Jesse curled his lip. “Maybe you don’t want me getting in the way.”

Shaun’s expression didn’t change. “Getting in the way?”

Jesse’s face burned with embarrassment. “I asked you at that first party, when we met Nicky. I asked if you liked that kind of attention.”

“From the groupies?” Shaun scowled. “I’m not an attention-whore, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Jesse glared at him.

“The only thing I’m concerned about, Jesse,” Shaun spat. “Is that you’ll expose me. You cannot do that to me again.”

“I’m not going to expose you,” Jesse mumbled.

“Then you can come,” Shaun said simply. “But if any of those sluts try to jump me, you can’t react. You can’t get jealous and start a fucking bitch fight at one of my shows. Do you hear me?”

Jesse’s face was beet red with embarrassment. “Yes. I hear you.”

“Let me handle it,” Shaun said nastily. “I’m trying to build a reputation here. I can’t have a bunch of gay rumors floating around. We have to be careful.”

“Why are you being so mean,” Jesse said in a little voice and he instantly felt pathetic. “I haven’t seen you in days…”

Shaun huffed in frustration. “I said I was busy.”

Jesse’s lips turned downward. He shook his head. “I just came to see if you needed anything. I was just trying to be nice, Shaun.”

“Pfft. Do you have a better song I can work on? Because that one sucks.” Shaun jabbed a finger at the notebook lying in the corner.

Jesse looked sadly at his boyfriend. “Is that the only thing you need from me?” He took the last few steps between them and stopped just in front of Shaun’s chair.

Shaun watched him boredly.

Jesse bit his lip and knelt on the dusty, concrete floor in front of him. He laid his hands on Shaun’s knees.

Shaun looked down his nose. “What are you doing?”

“Sucking your cock?” Jesse said with a nervous smile. He trailed his hands up Shaun’s thighs and when they met in the middle, he began to undo his fly.

“Why would you do that?” Shaun’s anger began to fade. He watched Jesse with interest.

“Because I’m hoping it’ll make you be a little nicer,” Jesse said as he pulled Shaun’s cock through his boxers. He was completely flaccid.

“I’m not really in the mood, Jesse,” Shaun sighed. He rested a hand on Jesse’s head and gently caressed his hair. “It’s a lot softer than I thought it’d be,” he grumbled.

Jesse dropped his head in Shaun’s lap, right beside his dick. He looked up at him shyly. “I miss you, Shaun. I just want to go back to loving each other and making Brian happy when we can.”

Shaun stroked his hair obsessively. His hand roamed over and over Jesse’s head. “Soft,” he muttered.

“Is it the first time you’ve touched it?”

“Yes.”

Jesse wrapped his fingers around Shaun’s dick and gently guided it to his lips. He kissed the sleeping member gently. The skin was super-soft and warm against Jesse’s lips. It smelled like soap and Jesse pressed his face deeply into Shaun’s crotch and smelled his fresh, clean clothes and the deep musky scent of his male pheromones. Shaun’s shaft was starting to get hard against his cheek and Jesse groaned.

“I can’t grab your hair anymore, though,” Shaun complained in a soft, breathy voice. He scratched his short fingernails across Jesse’s scalp.

“Ooooh! That feels really good,” Jesse moaned.

Shaun kept doing it. “I wish you hadn’t cut it,” he said in a deep, remorseful voice. “I loved it when it was long.”

Jesse sighed. He looked up again. “I wish I hadn’t either. I don’t like it.”

Shaun cupped his cheek. “Grow it back for me?”

Jesse smiled at him.

“Jess,” Shaun said and his expression got serious. “I don’t think you’re a girl. I’m sorry I said that stuff about you taking it up the ass. I was being a jackass,” he said grudgingly. “Maybe I should help you a little more with the chores and the kids…”

Jesse kissed the tip of Shaun’s cock to hide his giant smile. Kyle was right. Shaun’s cock was in his mouth and suddenly, he was apologizing and touching Jesse with affection. He opened his mouth and flicked his tongue across Shaun’s fat, slippery cockhead.

Shaun hissed. “I don’t like boobs. Or pussy. And I didn’t like kissing that lady—”

“Nicky,” Jesse said around Shaun’s dick.

“Nicky...I didn’t like kissing her. Her tongue tasted wrong. The lipstick was icky.”

Jesse let Shaun’s cock slide into his mouth. It was almost completely hard, but still needed a bit of encouragement. He sucked and bobbed his head along the first few inches, teasing the sensitive vein under his cockhead. Shaun’s dick was very responsive. It pulsed fully to life on his tongue.

“I missed you. I wanted you,” Shaun groaned.

Jesse pushed himself further. He swallowed the full length and then used his gag reflex to his advantage. As his throat muscles contracted around Shaun’s cock shaft, he shuddered with pleasure.

“I had to come see you…. the second I woke up Sunday,” Shaun said as Jesse polished his knob. “But I fucked up Jesse. And I keep fucking up…” he sobbed, and Jesse looked up in surprise. Shaun dropped his face in his hands and started to cry. “I don’t know what I’m fucking doing! I am hiding! I’m hiding over here like a little bitch because I’m too scared to face up to your kid!”

Jesse had wanted to get Shaun’s jean’s down, but his cock was out and hard and Jesse was quickly going to lose his chance. He stood up and pulled the lube out of his back pocket. Then he quickly undressed. He took everything off, even his tennis shoes and his socks.

Shaun pulled his hands away from his face. His eyes were red, but there were no tears. His hard dick poked out of his fly, shiny with spit. He watched in confusion as Jesse bared his body.

Jesse was hard, too, and once he was naked, he stood before Shaun, barefoot, fully erect, his bottom lip caught between his white teeth.

Shaun looked Jesse up and down and his cock twitched in approval.

Jesse opened the tube of lube and squirted some on his fingers. He wished he had more time to prepare, but he went with the basics. He tossed the tube aside and stepped forward to wrap his slick fingers around Shaun’s erect cock.

Shaun’s eyelid slid halfway shut as Jesse lubed his dick.

Jesse hitched a bare leg over Shaun’s. He met his dark eyes as he slid an arm behind his neck and climbed fully into his lap. He sat on Shaun’s knees, his cheeks filling with color as Shaun watched him with desire. He dropped his eyes. Shaun’s glistening cock was lined up perfectly with his own. Shyly, he touched his smaller, pink cockhead to Shaun’s bulging red tip.

Shaun hissed. He clutched Jesse’s thigh.

“Everything’s changing,” Jesse said softly. “I knew you weren’t going to be around as much when you started the band. I knew you were going to be busy. And Gretchen warned us you weren’t going to make much.” He took a deep breath. “Shame on me for stressing you out and for pressuring you about money.” He chewed his lip and looked up timidly. Shaun watched him with a heated gaze. “I talked to Sam about the kids,” Jesse said slowly. “He agreed to stay home more and help. He’s not going to ask for any more money. So, don’t worry about me, okay? Practice as much as you want. Go to as many shows as you can.” He smiled wryly. “And let those little groupies ruin their panties, for all I care. You look so sexy on stage. I was right all along. This is your calling.”

Shaun gripped the back of Jesse’s neck. His eyes shimmered with something that looked suspiciously like tears. He pulled Jesse down for a kiss and the two of them locked lips and embraced each other desperately.

Jesse tore back for a gasp. Shaun’s eyes were closed, and his mouth was open partway. He licked his lips slowly and groaned. “Jesse…” Jesse bit his lip and raised up on his knees. He reached down and guided Shaun’s cock back to his entrance.

They both gasped when Shaun’s cockhead pressed firmly against Jesse’s tight pucker.

Shaun gripped his hips. “Go slow, baby. It’s been a minute.”

Jesse sucked in a breath and lowered himself, slowly, as Shaun had advised. Shaun’s cock widened mid shaft and Jesse whined as his tight hole stretched to accommodate. He pushed himself lower and lower, taking Shaun’s length into his body, inch by inch. He squirmed. He gasped. He looped both his arms around the back of Shaun’s neck and tossed his head back, groaning, as the ring of his asshole grew ever closer to the root of Shaun’s dick. “Oooh, oh God…” The stretching was a dull, achy sensation, but it paled in comparison to the deep satisfaction Jesse felt as he was penetrated and filled. When there was only an inch or two of cock left, Jesse rose up on his knees a bit, then dropped his weight with a gasp and let gravity finish the deed.

Shaun grit his teeth and dug his fingers into Jesse’s narrow hips. Jesse was fully impaled on his cock now. His round, hairless ass rested on Shaun’s strong, furry thighs. Jesse squeezed Shaun’s shaft with his inner muscles and Shaun’s eyes fell half-lidded again. He drew Jesse closer and whispered deeply in his ear. “Your asshole is so goddamn tight, Jess. I fucking missed this…”

Jesse shivered with pleasure. He lifted himself slowly, groaning as his tight pucker gripped Shaun’s shaft. The friction felt so good against the stretched inner walls of his hole. He stopped when Shaun’s cockhead was about to slip from his body. He licked his lips in anticipation and Shaun leaned back and watched as Jesse slid down his dick. Jesse bounced up again, and then slid down. He bounced, over and over, moaning in time with the wet, obscene sound of his ass cheeks slapping against Shaun’s thighs. He lifted himself up and down, finding a rhythm that felt good to him. It wasn’t as fast as Shaun usually liked, but Jesse was extremely turned-on. He held onto Shaun’s neck and angled his body until Shaun’s cockhead touched his prostate and he slammed his eyes shut as the pleasure sharply increased. He began to cry out each time Shaun touched his magic button. He worked his thighs vigorously as he enthusiastically rode Shaun’s thick cock.

Shaun had only watched so far and his eyes glazed with lust as he watched Jesse pleasure himself. But as Jesse slowly began to unravel, his cock spewing pre-come on both their fronts and his ass hole clenching and squeezing Shaun’s shaft in response to his overwhelming excitement, Shaun began to move his hips. He drove his cock up into Jesse’s body as Jesse pushed himself downward.

Jesse shouted as Shaun’s cock slid even deeper into his body. His naked toes curled into the dirty soles of his feet. He groaned helplessly as Shaun began to thrust into his ass from below.

Shaun bared his teeth. “You’re the perfect little slut for me. Your asshole fits my dick like a glove.”

Jesse groaned and clung to him as Shaun took over completely and fucked him steadily. Beneath them, the chair began to creak. Jesse rested his head against Shaun’s dark, wavy hair; it smelled delicious, like peaches. He smiled and hugged him desperately, never wanting the moment to end.

Shaun slipped his arms around Jesse’s waist and crushed him flat to his chest. He held him tight and buried his face in the hollow of Jesse’s throat. He grunted as he ramped up his efforts. He thrust his hips and drove his cock into Jesse’s body at an impressive speed.

The frantic motion of their bodies stimulated Jesse’s cock, trapped between them, and he moaned deliriously. Shaun panted and grunted below him. Neither of them noticed, but the creaking of the chair got worse as they continued to fuck.

Shaun dug his nails into Jesse’s back. He sank his teeth into the skin at the base of Jesse’s neck and muffled a scream as he came powerfully. His body trembled and shook but he clutched Jesse to his body like he’d never let go.

Jesse’s belly filled with a sticky, wet, heat. He imagined Shaun’s beautiful cock shooting ropes of thick, potent sperm into his body and he whimpered at the naughtiness of it. He came without manual stimulation, all over himself and Shaun’s t-shirt.

Shaun held him tightly as they came down from their shared experience. Jesse pressed his nose into Shaun’s silky hair. “I love you,” he whispered.

“Love you, too,” Shaun whispered back and they kissed softly. No tongue. It was chaste, but the soft press of Shaun’s lips felt so right. Jesse wrapped his arms around him and basked in the warm sensation.

Shaun took Jesse’s foot in his hand. He played absently with his cute, round toes. “So, we don’t need to pay your brother for this weekend?”

“No,” Jesse said. He sighed blissfully.

“Ben said we can stay over Friday if we want.”

Jesse bit his lip. Maybe Kyle could spend the weekend… “I’ll talk to Sam. I’ll see what he thinks.”

Shaun nodded. He looked into Jesse’s eyes for a long moment. “I’m afraid to see Brian now,” he said slowly.

Jesse’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. “Why?”

“I don’t know…” Shaun looked away, over Jesse’s shoulder. “He’s not the same person anymore. He’s your son now.”

Jesse sighed. “Yeah, but he doesn’t know that.”

Shaun pressed his lips into a thin line. “Are you ever going to tell him?”

“Yeah…” Jesse said slowly. He chose his words carefully. He wanted Shaun to understand. “I could leave him with my mom. Technically. But it would literally break my heart. I have to take Brian with me,” he said adamantly. “I know I can make a better life for us than the one my mom made for me, but I can’t do that while I’m here, shackled to this house.”

Shaun nodded.

“And what kind of life can I give Brian if my significant other is afraid of him?”

Shaun cringed. “I just don’t know how to act around him. And I know it’s wrong, but…” he hesitated. “I kind of hate him in a way.”

Jesse struggled with himself. He wanted to say something mean in response, but he bit his tongue. Shaun looked at him with so much guilt and sadness in his eyes and he realized Shaun, talking about, and trying to work through his feelings, was vastly better than him running and hiding.

Jesse’s heart swelled with compassion. He cupped Shaun’s face and smiled at him gently. “Remember when I first kissed you? You told me you couldn’t be in a relationship with me.”

Shaun rolled his eyes. That statement had clearly been disproven. They’d just expressed their love for each other, and Shaun’s cock was still buried in Jesse’s ass. “Point?”

“You’ll love Brian again,” he said. “Just as much as you did before. I’m sure of it. You’re an excellent lover.” He beamed.

Shaun snorted with amusement. “Whatever.”

Jesse kissed him sweetly on the cheek. “I liked what you said the other day. Daddy number two.”

Shaun flushed. He grumbled disagreeably under his breath.

Jesse laughed and lifted up. Shaun’s spent cock slipped out of his ass and Jesse climbed carefully out of his lap. He grabbed his clothes off the floor and started to get dressed.

Shaun tucked his cock away with a grimace. “I have to clean this up.” He plucked at his shirt, crusted with Jesse’s seed.

Jesse shook his butt in Shaun’s face. “I have to clean this out,” he said smartly.

Shaun cracked him on the ass.

“Yeow!” Jesse leapt away and spun around. “Jeez! That hurt!”

Shaun smirked at him. “You deserved that.” He got up and kicked the desk chair out of the way. The seat rattled unevenly as the chair skated across the room. Both watched it come to a slow, shaky stop.

“We almost broke that fucking thing,” Shaun muttered. “I’d better check the bolts before I go in tonight.”

Jesse pursed his lips. That reminded him… “When I was standing outside, I thought I heard you looking for your knife.”

Shaun froze. “What?”

“You said ‘where did I put that knife’,” Jesse paraphrased. “Why would you be looking for a knife?”

Shaun looked over his shoulder, at his guitar against the tool bench. “One of the strings broke. I have to restring it.”

Jesse quirked an eyebrow. “With a knife?” He stepped into his jeans and zipped them up.

“I have to cut the string off the reel first, Jesse,” Shaun sneered.

“Oh. Silly me.”

Shaun crossed the room and stopped in front of the tool bench. He sorted through the piles of hammers and screwdrivers with his big, rough hands. “Shit!”

Jesse pulled his t-shirt on and left his shoes behind. He walked up behind Shaun and gently slid his arms around his waist. “What?”

“Grandma was out here earlier,” Shaun muttered darkly. “I think she took my knife.”

Jesse snorted. “Why would she do that?”

Shaun’s shoulders stiffened. “Because she was looking for it the other day. She asked for it, no, demanded it from me.”

“Umm why?”

Shaun was silent for a long moment and Jesse gasped as the puzzle pieces fell into place. He pulled back. “She caught you cutting, didn’t she?”

Shaun whirled around. “I don’t do that anymore.”

“Then why would she suddenly want your hunting knife?” Jesse folded his arms. He didn’t believe him.

“Because we were just talking about him the other day,” Shaun snapped. “My dad. She’s getting rid of the last of his stuff.” He gestured to the boxes kicked across the room.

Jesse’s eyes widened. He dropped his arms as curiosity blossomed inside him. “What did she say?”

Shaun sneered. “She told me what a psycho he was. He used to cut up kittens and other weird shit like that.”

Jesse blinked. “That’s…horrible.”

“I know. I hate cats, but I stay away from those fuckers,” he growled.

“Your nothing like him,” Jesse said confidently.

“Maybe I’m not,” Shaun grumbled, but he wouldn’t meet Jesse’s eyes. “For a while, I thought I’d end up just like him.”

Jesse took Shaun’s hand. “No. You’re talented, you’re persistent and resourceful, you’re a passionate lover—”

“Alright,” Shaun huffed. He pulled Jesse close and embraced him. He tucked Jesse’s head under his chin. “I love you, but I’ve got to get back to work. I’ve got to figure out how to finish this song…”

Jesse nodded. He squeezed Shaun tight then let him go. Shaun pushed him back gently with a hand on his chest. His hand was heavy and firm. Jesse liked the warm reassurance. He looked up at Shaun questioningly.

“Thanks for checking on me,” Shaun said with a faint smile.

Jesse smiled. “Anytime.”

“I’ll pick you up around five on Friday,” Shaun said. “But I’m going to be working until then.”

Jesse chewed his lip. He wasn’t exactly happy with the decision, but he understood and was willing to be patient. “Okay.”

“I doubt we’ve got much of a chance at Battle of the Bands, but I want to shake everybody up. I want to make an impression,” Shaun growled. His expression was determined, but distant, focused on the goals he’d yet to accomplish. “I want everyone to know Defaced is on the scene and we’re not going anywhere until we get signed.”

Jesse felt his reservations fall away. He knocked Shaun’s hand away and launched himself back into his arms. “I love you, Shaun,” he said joyfully and then he kissed him sweetly on the lips.

Shaun lifted Jesse off the ground.

Jesse gasped. He threw his arms around Shaun’s neck as his legs were swept out from under him.

Shaun carried him gallantly to the door. “Time to go, Jesse,” he said sternly. “Before your sweet lips convince me to fuck you a second time.”

“Wait! My shoes!” Jesse cried. Helpless, he stretched an arm over Shaun’s broad shoulder.

Shaun kicked the door open and carried him behind the garage. “You don’t need shoes,” he scoffed as he stepped confidently across the lawn, Jesse in his arms. “I’ll bring them to you on Friday. You can stay barefoot until then.”

Jesse pouted.

“If you want more of my cock, come and find me,” Shaun said huskily. “It was so cute when you came out to meet me the other morning in your underwear.”

Jesse blushed. “Maybe I’ll surprise everybody and walk out of the house in the nude.”

Shaun chuckled.

As they approached the house, Shaun slowed. He glared over Jesse’s shoulder. Jesse followed his gaze.

“Oh.”

“What’s he doing here?” Shaun asked in a gruff voice. They were nearly at the house, but Kyle had parked to the left of the garage, like Jesse had instructed, so he’d be less obvious. Only, the bumper of the Cadi was sticking out, in plain sight.

As they got to the door, Shaun set Jesse gently on the front step. His jaw was clenched with anger and his hands were balled at his sides.

“Relax. I asked him over,” Jesse said.

Shaun bared his teeth at him. “Are you serious?”

Jesse bit his lip. “What’s the difference? Sam hangs out with him no matter what we tell him,” he said. “Might as well get a free babysitter out of it. Kyle’s helping with the kids now.”

“Oh yeah? Since when?”

Jesse drew back. Shaun’s rage was palpable. “Since today,” he said carefully. “I guess this was just a test run.”

Shaun ground his teeth together. He was physically struggling to control himself. Jesse’s heartbeat quickened. “I rescued your brother from that pervert the other day and now he’s the babysitter?!”

“Shaun…please, just—”

“I don’t care what Sam does. But I don’t want you anywhere near that motherfucker,” Shaun spat. Jesse flinched as a bit of spittle hit him in the face. “And keep him away from your kids. If you know what’s good for you,” he said darkly. Then he turned on his heel and marched off.

Jesse watched him go, trembling with an intense mixture of feelings. Shaun had disappeared into the garage by the time Jesse composed himself enough to go inside.

“How’d it go?” Kyle asked, turning from his seat in front of the new TV. He, Sam, and Tyler were on the couch. Everything was the same as when Jesse had left. Lissa was in Kyle’s lap. Sam and Tyler were in the middle of Mario. Allison and Brian were playing with dolls on the carpet.

Sam paused the game and turned, as well. He looked at Jesse and smiled slowly. “You look pretty rumpled, kid.”

Jesse scratched his fingers through his short hair. “Yeah.”

Kyle narrowed his eyes. “Everything alright?”

Jesse shrugged. He walked into the living room and slumped tiredly into the armchair. “It was a mixed bag,” he said vaguely.

“C’mon! I was about to beat you!” Tyler complained, poking Sam in the leg. “Unpause it.”

Sam turned back to the game, unphased. Jesse glanced at the screen. Sam was in second and Tyler was in first, for once. Kyle continued to study Jesse’s expressionless face as he watched his little brothers play Mario kart.

“What happened?” he asked, and Jesse’s gaze was torn from the television.

He sighed. “We argued. Shaun was a total dick. Then I…” he made a rude hand gesture close to his mouth. “And you were right. He apologized for everything and we kissed and made up and it was absolutely perfect.”

Kyle beamed. “See, what did I tell you? Blowies could end world hunger, too, I’ll bet.” Beside him, Sam snorted.

Jesse rubbed his face. “Yeah, well, he walked me home and everything was fine until he saw the tail end of your car.” He glared at Kyle. “Nice job staying out of sight.”

Kyle placed a hand on his chest. He looked offended. “But I parked right where you said to. Beside the garage.”

“It was in the right place, but you didn’t pull up far enough,” Jesse explained, frustrated. He huffed. “Shaun saw your car and told me he doesn’t want me anywhere near you and that I should keep the kids away from you, too.”

“Oh, boy.” Kyle rolled his eyes. “What did I do this time?”

Jesse clammed up.

“He probably called you a child molester,” Sam said casually, his eyes glued to the TV. “He thinks you’re having sex with me.” He made a face of disgust. “But unlike you homos, you couldn’t pay me to touch a dick.”

Kyle looked at Lissa. “A child molester? What do you think, little cupcake?”

“La caka!” Lissa babbled.

“What’s that Lissa? Kyle’s the most awesome babysitter ever?” He feigned a look of shock.

“Ha! Suck it!” Sam shouted. “Blew right past you.” Jesse glanced at the TV. Sam was in first now. Tyler was second. The round was over.

Tyler threw his controller on the floor and leapt off the couch. He stomped to the stairs. “I’m sick of Mario!” he cried in a whiny voice, then he ran upstairs, and everyone was treated to the sound of his door slamming. The conversation resumed unchecked.

“What am I going to do about Friday?” Jesse muttered. He gave Sam and Kyle a careful look. There was no way he was going to attempt talking to his mother. They were the only option. “How do you guys feel about a sleep-over this weekend?”

Sam exited Mario Kart and loaded up Call of Duty. “What do you mean?”

“Remember when I mentioned I was possibly going to Shaun’s show on Saturday?”

Sam sighed. “Yeah, but I didn’t think you were going to expect me to do the whole weekend!”

Jesse pressed his hands together. “Please, Sam. I need you.”

“Whatever,” Sam huffed, glaring at the TV as he selected his game features. The unhappy look on his face meant success for Jesse and he grinned.

“I was just thinking, if Kyle comes over to help you, it won’t be as stressful or as boring,” Jesse suggested. “I was seriously worried about leaving you on your own. I was going to ask Shaun’s grandma to look in on you.”

Sam wrinkled his nose. “Hell no. C’mon Kyle. You can sleep in Jesse’s bunk.” He elbowed the blond beside him.

Kyle tapped his chin. “I guess I could. Maybe this once.”

“Sweet.” Jesse beamed. “Ok, you can’t come until Shaun leaves and you have to be out by the time we get back. Give me your number so I can text you.” He took out his phone.

Kyle gave him his digits. “You’re going to tell your mom about this right? In case she gets back early?”

Jesse snorted. “She won’t care. Don’t worry about it. But,” he held up a finger. “You can’t have anybody over. Sam, you aren’t allowed to leave the house. You and the kids have to stay here this weekend. And most importantly, you guys can’t drink or smoke in front of the kids. That’s strictly off limits and I’ll ask Brian when I get back, so I’ll be checking on you.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

“That sounds reasonable,” Kyle said.

“Everything else is up to your discretion. Just don’t kill anybody or burn the house down,” Jesse said with a smile.

Kyle sighed deeply. “When do you need me?”

***

Jesse, Brian, and Lissa were in the living room when Shaun arrived. It was Friday, a couple minutes before five and Jesse sat on the couch, watching Brian color at the coffee table. Lissa napped beside him on a blanket.

Sam and the twins were outside with the water guns. It wasn’t exactly part of the plan, but fifteen minutes ago, Tyler had been glued to the Xbox. Jesse could see him and Allison through the front window, zipping through the grass, dripping wet and shrieking with laughter. Sam was right behind them with the Super soaker. He was laughing, too. He was shirtless and he wore a pair of board shorts. When he’d ripped his shirt off earlier, Jesse had noticed bruises on his hips and the backs of his arms. They were the size and shape of fingers.

Sam had rushed out of the house before Jesse could question the marks, but he was letting it go. The bruises were probably souvenirs from another party. He was relieved Sam was distracting the twin terrors, at any rate. This was the first time Brian and Shaun had been in the same room in over a week and Jesse didn’t want anything to ruin the moment. Especially his siblings.

There was a firm knock at the door.

Brian tossed his crayons aside and looked at Jesse in excitement. “Shaun!”

“Relax, little man.” Jesse stood up. “Try not to expect too much from him. He’s been really busy with the band. He’s probably in a hurry to get to practice.”

Brian hopped on the couch as Jesse walked for the door. He started bouncing on the cushions.

“Careful of the baby,” Jesse chided. Then he turned to open the door.

Shaun stood on the front step with Jesse’s tennis shoes in hand.

Jesse smiled at him. “Hey baby.”

“Hi.” Shaun stepped through the door and tossed the shoes aside. He slid his arms around Jesse’s waist and pulled him into his body, right up against his cock. He kissed him firmly.

“Mmm,” Jesse moaned in surprise.

Shaun squeezed him affectionately before he let go. Then he grasped Jesse’s hips and gently moved him aside. He turned to Brian, bouncing on the couch, and forced himself to smile.

“Hey kid.”

“Hi Shaun.” Brian grinned widely, displaying the hole where his front teeth used to be. He jumped again and turned clumsily in midair. He fell on the edge of the couch, on his butt, and he bounced off and landed on his feet. He raced around the couch and threw his arms around Shaun’s legs. “I really missed you,” he said. “It wasn’t as much fun without you around.”

Shaun patted him on the head. “Somehow, I doubt that.”

Brian looked up at him, his arms still locked around Shaun’s knees. “Sam and Tyler have been hogging the TV all week. I want to play Mario, too, but they won’t let me.”

Shaun glanced over the back of the couch at the new TV. “Everyone’s playing outside. What are you doing in here?”

“Lissa’s napping,” Brian said, gesturing over his shoulder. “I’m keeping Jesse company.”

Jesse went around the couch to check on the little girl. She had survived the bouncing. Lissa was curled up with her head on a throw pillow. He picked her up gently.

“You should go join them,” Shaun was saying. Brian finally let him go and stepped back. He had to crane his neck to see his face. “Water guns are awesome. I used to have one when I was a little older than you.”

Brian’s eyes glimmered with hero-worship. “You should play with us. You could be on my team.”

Shaun rubbed his neck. “Sorry, kid. Jesse and I have plans tonight. We’re on our way to—”

“Practice,” Brian grumbled. His face fell.

“Yeah.”

Jesse cradled the sleeping baby. “Unfortunately, I think the water games are done for today,” he said. “Sam’s going to have to come in. He has to watch the baby.”

Brian began to pout.

Shaun sighed. He hesitated for a moment, but then he crouched down so he was eye-level with the toddler. “Before school starts again, so, soon, we’ll take you to one of my shows.”

Brian looked at him sadly.

Shaun pressed his lips together. “Would you like that?”

“Yes,” Brian said in a little voice.

“Good.” Shaun stood up again. “Then, I’ll make it happen.”

A little smile crept on Brian’s face. “I really want to see you play your guitar.”

“You will,” Shaun said firmly. “I’ll get you a front row seat.”

Brian beamed.

Jesse placed Lissa in the baby bouncer. It was reclined and she snuggled comfortably into the padded chair. He kissed her gently on the forehead and then stood up.

Shaun watched him with dark, lust filled eyes.

Jesse blushed and dropped his gaze. He strode across the room and slid behind his tall, broad-shouldered boyfriend. He skimmed a hand along Shaun’s firm, muscled arm as he passed. He grabbed his shoes off the floor and knelt to pull them on. “Brian, honey, go tell Sam that I’m about to leave.”

“Kay.” Brian scampered to the door.

The second they were alone; Shaun stepped behind Jesse and squeezed his ass. “I was hoping you’d come check on me again.”

Jesse finished with his shoes. He turned and straightened up. Shaun’s chin was at his eyeline. He tilted his head back and looked into his eyes. Shaun’s gaze was a storm of emotion.

“I didn’t get a chance to leave yesterday,” Jesse said in a breathy voice. Shaun looked like he wanted to devour him. It was intimidating and arousing at the same time. “Sam left around noon and was gone until early in the morning.” He shook his head disapprovingly but couldn’t help the smirk that teased his lips. “I let him sleep in, the little shit. He’s got a long weekend ahead of him.”

Shaun reached up and cupped Jesse’s face with a rough hand. “Your mom’s going on vacation?”

“It’s a bed and breakfast,” Jesse said with a shrug. “But they’re leaving straight from work. Sam’s on his own until we get back.”

Shaun’s eyes darkened, but not with arousal. He curled his lip. “Is Kyle coming over?”

Jesse shrugged. He was planning to text him the second they were in the Mustang, but he wasn’t going to admit it. “If he does, then that’s on him. I told him he could run next door and get your grandma if he gets overwhelmed, but I think he vomited in his mouth.”

Shaun snorted.

“Just…don’t worry about it. Everything will be fine.”

“I hope so,” Shaun grumbled. “For Brian’s sake anyway.”

Jesse sighed as the front door burst open behind them. Shaun dropped his hand and stepped back. His expression smoothed and became neutral.

“…for dinner?” Tyler whined as he and Allison sloshed into the front room. Brian pushed past them and returned to his coloring book on the coffee table.

“Hey! Take those wet clothes off before you track mud and water through the living room,” Jesse snapped as the twins began to follow the toddler. He turned and shepherded the two children out the door again. “Then straight upstairs and in the tub.”

Tyler pulled his wet t-shirt over his head and dropped it on the front step. “I’m hungry,” he complained.

“He’s leaving, stupid,” Allison muttered. “He doesn’t care.”

“Yes, I do.” Jesse folded his arms. “There’s leftover meatloaf and green beans in the fridge. Sam can make some instant potatoes, as well.” He looked up as his brother approached from the garage. He stopped behind the twins. He must have stashed the super soaker in the garage because it was just him, shirtless, damp, and glowering.

“Nobody likes meatloaf,” he grumbled. “That’s why it’s still in the fridge.”

“Then throw some pizza rolls on a baking sheet,” Jesse huffed. “There’s a brand-new mega pack in the freezer.”

“Will do.” Sam stepped around the twins and kicked his shoes off at the door. He looked at Shaun as he passed, but neither of them addressed the other. “So, I have to give them baths now?”

“They’re covered in mud,” Jesse said with a deep sigh. “Please, Sam, don’t let the house go to hell while I’m gone. I’m trusting you.” He gave the teen a serious look.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Everything will be fine, Jess.”

“I hope so,” Jesse grumbled. The twins had finished undressing. Their wet clothes were piled in front of the door. The two of them stood in matching tighty-whities. “Bathtub,” he said sternly, pointing for the stairs. The twins shuffled past. Tyler glared daggers at Brian, cheerfully scribbling with his crayon.

Sam threw himself on the couch and grabbed the remote. He waved sarcastically over his shoulder as he turned on the screen. “Byeee! See you Sunday, homos.”

Jesse looped his arm through Shaun’s. His boyfriend was struggling not to react to the casual insult. His jaw was clenched with annoyance. “Love you guys! Be good!” He tugged Shaun to the door. “And toss these wet clothes in the wash, Sam. Before you start dinner.”

“Alright, Mom.”

Jesse gave his little brother the finger on the way out the door. He chuckled to himself as they stepped over the twin’s wet clothes and walked to the car. “They’re insufferable.”

Shaun made a sound of agreement.

They got in the Mustang and Shaun started the engine. “I’m just wondering how I can make that promise come true,” he muttered, looking back at the house. “We should see if we can bring Brian with us one of these weekends.”

Jesse pulled out his phone so he could give Kyle a heads-up they were leaving. He grinned at Shaun as he typed. “So, how was it?”

“How was what?” Shaun asked. He shifted into reverse and they pulled out of the driveway.

“Seeing Brian?” Jesse sent his message and put his phone away. “Was it terrifying?”

Shaun snorted. “Hardly. It was the same as always.”

Jesse laughed and looked out the window. The sun was a glowing, orange ball in the west. It presented a beautiful backdrop for the acres of tall yellow corn stalks that lined the road, swaying lazily in the summer breeze. They hadn’t even left town yet and already; he felt his mood lifting.

As they headed for the highway, Jesse’s phone began to buzz in his back pocket. Shaun glanced at him as he pulled it out for the second time. He was expecting to see Kyle’s name on the screen, but it wasn’t the dealer.

“It’s Ben,” he said, sharing a look with the boy at his side. “Wonder what he wants.” He answered the call and put it on speaker. “Hello?”

“Hey,” Ben breathed into the receiver. “You’re with Shaun, right?”

Jesse glanced at his boyfriend. Shaun’s eyebrows were raised. “He’s sitting beside me. We’re driving to your house.”

“Change of plans,” Ben said in a rush. “We can’t meet at my house. Go to Gretchen’s.”

“What? What’s going on?”

“Shit! Gotta go.”

The call ended abruptly.

Jesse frowned at his phone. He turned off the display.

“Fuck me,” Shaun grumbled. He slowed down and pulled over. They sat in the gravel on the side of the road while a large eighteen-wheeler blew past. “We’ve gotta go the other way.” He looked over his shoulder for oncoming traffic, turned the wheel, and then cut across the road. They headed in the opposite direction.

“Wonder what’s up?”

Shaun clenched the wheel. “The fiancé.”

Jesse had seen Ben and Angela interact on only the rarest of occasions. She was always angry about something. He didn’t have a memory of her without a scowl.

“I’m sick of dealing with that cunt,” Shaun grumbled as they drove. “She was pissed off yesterday, too. There’s a bunch of drama happening with the wedding planner.”

Jesse laughed. “She’s turning into Bridezilla!”

Shaun rolled his eyes.

When they pulled into Gretchen’s neighborhood, Jesse took in the surroundings, pleasantly surprised.

“Why did I think she lived in the slums?”

“This is the kind of place we need to get,” Shaun said. “Small with a fenced in lawn.”

“I like where we live. It’s quiet.”

“This place is quiet,” Shaun grumbled. “And I don’t want to do all the lawn work my grandpa does.” Shaun pointed at a house on the corner. “I could mow that in thirty minutes. No problem.”

Jesse grinned. He studied the little houses as they drove past. Their chances of becoming homeowners straight out of high school was extremely low, but it was a nice thought. He imagined they lived at the white house with the ivy. He saw Shaun rolling out of bed early in the morning and tiptoeing out of the room, leaving Jesse to his slumber. He shuffled out to the shed in his boxers and slippers and pulled the starter rope on the mower with one strong arm, decorated with fading scars. He pushed the mower into the grass and grumpily began to cut their lawn.

They pulled up outside a blue house with a tree in the front. Shaun parked under it, so the branches shaded the car. Ben’s Nissan was behind them on the corner and Gretchen’s Jeep was in the drive.

“This is it?” Jesse asked.

“Yes.”

They got out. Shaun unloaded his equipment and led Jesse around the garage to the left of the house. There was a gate into the backyard and Shaun unlatched it with the corner of his guitar case and nudged it open. He stepped back and held it for Jesse.

“Thanks,” Jesse said. He trailed a hand along Shaun’s shoulder as he slipped through the gate.

Gretchen had a tiny backyard, but her grass was green and trimmed. The backside of the garage hid Gretchen’s patio from the street. It was a square of concrete just below the sliding glass door into the house. She had a grill, a plastic patio set, and a hot pink lounge chair in the grass.

“Cute,” he said.

“This whole place is cute,” Shaun grumbled. He gestured to the door at the back of the garage and Jesse hurried to catch up. “Just wait till you see her adorable cat.”

“Gretchen has a cat?” Shaun opened the door and Jesse stepped into the garage. “Wow.”

Gretchen was perched behind her drum kit, positioned in front of the door. She smiled, then answered Jesse’s question. “His name’s Spooky.” She glared at Shaun. “And Shaun hates him.”

“I do not,” Shaun growled.

“Shut up. Yes, you do.”

Jesse looked around in appreciation. Gretchen’s garage blew Shaun’s out of the water. She’d soundproofed the walls with spray-painted egg cartons and thick tapestries with psychedelic colors. There were throw rugs on the floor, band posters pasted on the ceiling, and Christmas lights zig-zagging the walls. There was a long couch in front of the garage door. Ben was sprawled across it with an arm over his eyes.

Shaun pushed past Jesse and dragged his guitar to the middle of the room. There was a mic already set up and he unpacked his amp and plugged it into the power strip dangling from the wall. “Nothing personal,” he muttered. “I hate all cats. But yours is up to no good. Every time I look at it, its eyes get wide and it runs off.” Shaun pulled a face. “That thing is sneaky as hell.”

Ben laughed from the couch. “Here that Gretchen? Sneaky, up to no good, Angela was wrong. I’m not a dirty, lying dog. I’m a sneaky, no-good cat.”

Gretchen rolled her eyes. She leaned down and grabbed a beer off the floor. “Don’t compare yourself to my beautiful and majestic Spooky-cat. He sleeps in my bed, every night, and he has since I brought him home at three months old. He’s outlasted three boyfriends, two bands, and he’s stuck with me through multiple moves. He’s intelligent, loyal, and he’s got a wicked sense of humor if you pay attention. Spooky isn’t up to no good.” She guzzled her beer. “My sister’s right. Men are dogs.”

“Fuck off, Gretchen,” Ben grumbled. He sat up and made a pouty face. “I didn’t do anything!”

Gretchen snorted. “You and I both know that’s a sack of shit.” She tossed her beer bottle toward the door and Jesse gasped and ducked out of the way as it fell smoothly into the trashcan beside him.

Shaun stood up. He had his guitar in his hand. “What’s going on?”

Ben looked pointedly in Gretchen’s direction.

“Oh, I have to tell the story?” Gretchen laughed.

Ben huffed. “This is your fault.”

Gretchen snorted. She got up and crossed the room and Jesse noticed there was a case of beer by the couch. “You guys want a drink?” Beers were handed out. Gretchen returned to her drum set and wearily took a seat. “Angela had a lunch date with the bridesmaids today.”

Shaun shared a look with Jesse. “See? Told you it was wedding crap.”

Gretchen rolled her eyes. “So, there’s a rumor going around Ben and I are sleeping together.”

Shaun’s eyes got humongous.

“Angela’s saying the band and the shows are smoke and mirrors,” Ben grumbled. “She and her friends think we’re sneaking away to attend wild sex parties.”

“Everybody’s talking about it. I’ve been getting messages from family members all afternoon,” Gretchen continued, unphased.

“I wish I was going to wild sex parties,” Ben bemoaned.

“You poor thing.” Gretchen laughed rudely.

“What did you do?” Shaun cut a vicious look in Ben’s direction. “What happened?!”

Ben flapped his mouth. “I—I didn’t do anything…. Nothing happened!”

“At the show last week… you pulled me aside and mumbled something,” Shaun said, his voice deathly calm. “You were jealous of Harry.”

“I—I—No I didn’t! I’m not jealous of anybody!”

“He’s super jealous.” Gretchen cackled. “That’s where he kissed me, actually. At Harry’s party.”

Shaun’s face got dark. He set his guitar down and opened his mouth, but no words came out. He glared hatefully at Gretchen, totally speechless.

Gretchen glared back. “Don’t look at me like that.”

Shaun ignored her. He growled under his breath and bared his teeth like a wild animal.

Jesse stepped across the room and found a seat beside Ben. He looked carefully at the forlorn young man beside him. “How did the rumor start?”

Ben pushed his fingers through his hair. “Facebook.”

Gretchen rolled her eyes. “I shared some pictures from practice the other night. One in particular, one of me and Benny, got a lot of attention from the wedding party.” She shook her head. “It wasn’t even a big deal. We were playing around with my drum kit and Ben had his hands on my shoulders.” She shrugged. “I already deleted it.”

Jesse quirked an eyebrow. “So, no one knows you guys kissed?”

“I don’t think so.” Ben buried his face in his hands. “I’m pretty sure Angela would have mentioned it,” he muttered. “She said a lot of things on the phone…”

“Jesus Christ,” Shaun snarled.

Gretchen gave him the middle finger. “Don’t get your panties in a twist. When Ben kissed me, I kneed him in the balls. I’m not interested in being my brother-in-law’s side-chick.”

“Would you shut up about that!” Ben shouted at her. “Fuck! This is humiliating!”

Gretchen smirked and casually sipped her beer. “You’re telling me.”

“Grrr!” Ben jumped up. “I was vulnerable! I opened up to you and you kicked me in the balls!”

Shaun pointed his beer at Ben. The bottle shook, his whole arm trembled with rage. His jaw was clenched, and he had spots of brilliant red high on his cheeks. “I told you on the Fourth of July. You aren’t allowed to kiss Gretchen.”

Ben’s bottom lip poked out.

Shaun narrowed his eyes dangerously. His voice dropped to a whisper. “If you ruin my band, I’ll ruin you. Got that?” He picked up his guitar. “I don’t want to talk about this shit anymore.”

Ben fell back on the couch. Jesse scooted closer and patted him reassuringly. “I don’t even know if I can go home,” he said miserably. “Angela called when I was leaving work and started grilling me. By the time I’d gotten home, she was screaming her head off. I hung up and grabbed my instrument and threw some clothes in a bag.” His eyes started to get misty. “Fuck! I had to turn my phone off. She was blowing me up. I’ve never seen so many texts come at once.”

Gretchen held up her phone. “Block her. That’s what I did.”

Shaun clapped his hands together sharply. “Let’s go, Ben!” he hollered. “You don’t need to go home tonight anyway, so man up and get your guitar!”

Ben stared at him morosely. “My marriage is in jeopardy.”

“It was already in jeopardy.” Shaun hissed. “The second you kissed that cunt over there.” He swung his beer in Gretchen’s direction.

Gretchen gave him double middle fingers. “I’m completely innocent in this bullshit. I’m here to play.” She grabbed one of her drumsticks and smashed the cymbal. “I told Ben, in no uncertain terms, that I’m not interested in having a one-night stand, I’m not interested in being a mistress, and I don’t want anything to do with cheaters—”

“I didn’t cheat on anybody!”

Gretchen pursed her lips. “Angela’s pissed over some rumors and a picture on Facebook. If she’d seen the way you had me pressed against the wall, with your hard cock all up my leg…” Gretchen smirked while across the room, Shaun groaned with disgust. “She would have your balls, Benny-boy.”

Ben’s face paled. “That’s why we’re never going to tell her.”

“If I were a better sister, I’d tell her what a dog you really are,” Gretchen said, her voice laced with amusement.

Ben’s eyes widened. “Please don’t.”

Gretchen laughed meanly and Ben buried his face in his hands again. He groaned unhappily.

Shaun was shaking with anger. “And this is exactly the reason I didn’t want you guys fucking!” he shouted. “Goddamnit!” He ripped the strap off his guitar and leaned it carelessly against the wall. “I have to take a piss. Fuck!” He stormed out of the room. The door slammed behind him.

Gretchen narrowed her eyes and turned on Ben. “Let it go, Ben. You can crash on my couch for the weekend. When we’re done with the show and everyone’s had a chance to cool down, we’ll go talk to my sister.”

Jesse took a drink of his beer. “What are you guys going to say?”

“We’re going to play dumb, right Ben?” Gretchen said firmly. She waited for a response; her honey-brown eyes hard with determination.

Ben hung his head. “Right.”

“So, get up, strap on your guitar, and let’s get this show on the road,” Gretchen said. “Shaun’s not going to relax until we run through the setlist at least once. Then we can track down something to eat and we’ll all get drunk and watch that scary movie I was telling you about. Stop being so dramatic.”

Jesse squeezed Ben’s shoulder. “I’m the dramatic one in the relationship.”

“Every time I want sex, Angela brushes me off,” Ben said dazedly. “On the phone today, she said she couldn’t even imagine why I’d be out looking for sex. I feel like I’m insane. My fiancé treats me like I’m a monster because I have sexual needs.” He pressed his lips together. “I wish we could compromise. I wish she would do something for me, for once. I do everything for her.”

Jesse felt like he might tear up. He glanced across the room at Gretchen. The drummer was boredly studying her fingernails.

“I didn’t cheat on Angela on purpose,” Ben continued. “I was drunk and excited after the show and Gretchen was making me laugh.” He smiled faintly. “She’s such a bitch but she always makes me laugh.”

Gretchen glanced at him fleetingly, then she determinedly returned to studying her nails.

“I pulled her in the bathroom and kissed her. I wasn’t thinking. I just acted,” Ben said sadly. Jesse rubbed his back. “It was obviously a mistake. A stupid. Stupid mistake.” He looked up and stared across the room at Gretchen. She didn’t look at him, but the angry lines on her face began to fade as Ben began again. “I should have known better. I’m supposed to be in a loveless marriage with a woman I can’t even talk to. I should have known better than to think I might possibly have a connection with a woman that makes me happy, who’s incredibly sexy, and who actually cares about my music.” He looked down at his hands. “What the hell’s wrong with me? Why am I so dramatic?”

Gretchen sighed and dropped her hands. “If you’re so unhappy, why did you ask Angela to marry you?”

Ben smirked. He chuckled humorlessly. “Are you kidding? She’s been talking about marriage since date number two. I avoided it for four long years. It’s the only thing I wouldn’t give her, but she needled and needled away.”

Gretchen’s face distorted with disgust. “Let me guess, that’s when she cut off the sex. The day you proposed.”

Ben got up and walked to his instrument, to the right of Shaun’s vacant microphone. “No, she was pretty happy for a month or two afterward.”

Gretchen sneered.

“But when month three hit,” Ben laughed bitterly as he slipped the strap of his guitar over his head. “She picked her wedding planner and started drafting the invitations. That’s when it all came to a screeching halt.”

“I should disown that bitch,” Gretchen growled.

Ben shrugged.

Shaun came back before too long. His expression was gloomy.

“We’re ready to start,” Gretchen said the moment Shaun stepped through the door. “Then we’re ordering chicken and jojo’s. I’m not fucking with the stove tonight.”

Shaun walked to his guitar and strapped it on. He didn’t acknowledge Gretchen at all. He simply began to play.

They practiced for two hours and Jesse watched in a trance. Shaun handled his instrument with an incredible expertise. His voice was evolving, too. He had a dark, seductive tone. It was menacing and alluring, all at once.

Jesse knew they weren’t out of the woods yet. He knew there was a mountain of problems waiting just over the horizon for them to climb and conquer. But Jesse loved Shaun. He loved him so much…

When Shaun was satisfied, he called an end to practice. “Sounds good. I guess.”

Gretchen sneered at him. “Do you know what a pep talk is?”

Shaun ignored her. He knelt to start putting his equipment away.

Ben watched him curiously. “Maybe we’ll get a chance to practice in the morning. Don’t put it away just yet.”

Shaun made a face. “That’d be a great idea. But will it actually happen?”

Ben stared at him dumbly.

Shaun manhandled his amp into its case and slammed the lid shut. “I’ll take my chances.” He put his guitar away next. He slammed everything around. He was careless and brisk. He stood up when he was done. “So, what’s the sleeping situation tonight? Are all three of us on the couch?”

“Ben can sleep on the armchair,” Gretchen said, narrowing her eyes. “Sorry, Pretty Boy, this ain’t the Hampton Inn.”

“Can I make myself a drink in your kitchen?” Shaun glowered at her.

“Go ahead.” Gretchen glared right back.

Shaun stormed out of the room.

Gretchen huffed and stood up from her drum kit. She went to the case of beer and took the last one. She flopped down on the couch beside Jesse. “So, he finally apologized?”

Jesse nodded.

“About time,” Ben said with a grin.

“He’s retarded,” Gretchen said as she cracked the cap off her beer and took a drink. “I’m not even joking. I think he’s mentally challenged.”

“He’s got a number of anger issues,” Jesse muttered.

“Among other things.”

Jesse sighed.

“You should have told us you were a daddy,” Ben said with a gentle smile. He set his guitar aside and came to join them on the couch. “You’re the youngest. But you’re already an established parent. That’s pretty impressive.”

Gretchen rolled her eyes. “Obviously he was keeping it a secret for a reason.”

“Was he really that upset?” Ben asked.

“Yep,” Jesse said with a laugh. “He avoided me for two weeks.”

Gretchen sneered. “He’s an asshole.”

“Agreed,” Jesse said affectionately.

The three of them moved to the house and found Shaun in the kitchen. Jesse looked around with interest. Gretchen had lots of cool little touches that made the house hers. He especially liked the penis cactuses on the kitchen windowsill. Shaun was at the table, hunched over a tall glass of whisky. Ben and Jesse took chairs on either side of him while Gretchen used her phone to order food.

Jesse watched Shaun from the corner of his eye. Shaun leaned back in his chair with his eyes narrowed on Gretchen. His brow was furrowed with thought. Jesse waited anxiously for him to say something.

“Okay. Great. Thanks,” Gretchen said as she ended the call. She set her phone on the counter. “They said it’ll be ready in twenty minutes.”

“Why did you give them my name? Why do I gotta pay for everything,” Ben whined. “Patty told Angela to check the credit statement at their lunch thing.” He looked gloomily into his drink. “She saw all those charges at the bar and the multiple gas station trips. She screamed about money for twenty minutes straight.”

Gretchen strode across the room and opened the cabinet over the sink. There was a small ceramic jar with a lid. She took it down and pulled out a fold of money. “I’m buying,” she said, as she peeled two twenties from the fold.

Ben took the money in surprise. Then, suddenly, his expression turned. “Eww, this is sugar-daddy money, isn’t it?” He let the bills flutter to the table. He stared at them like they were a pile of baby diarrhea.

Gretchen flicked him off. “Virgil always pays in cash. It’s what I’ve got on hand, asswipe.” She grabbed her cigarettes off the table and stuck one between her lips. She lit up with a smug look on her face. “I had an amazing cam session last Sunday. After he rolled off my couch at seven in the morning.” She nodded in Shaun’s direction. “I had eight thousand active viewers. I felt like a celebrity. I have next month’s house payment and enough for the fun stuff, too. TV, phone, internet. I paid electric, got two cartons of smokes, and bought the fans a little something, as well.”

Shaun’s jaw clenched as he finished his bitter drink. He didn’t look amused. Ben took out his wallet and slid the bills to the edge of the table with it. Then he carefully swept each bill into the wallet with his pinky finger.

“What did you get the fans?” Jesse asked with amusement.

Gretchen beamed. “I was hoping one of you would ask—”

“Where’s the money from last week’s show?” Shaun snapped. He glared at Gretchen hatefully. “Or did you forget you owed us?”

“I didn’t forget, Pretty Boy.” Gretchen placed her hands on her hips and glowered. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t really thinking about money after that fiasco Saturday night.”

Shaun’s expression got dark.

“I’ve got your cut right here.” She tossed two tens after the twenties. “There you go, asshole. Half for you. Half for Ben.”

Shaun grabbed the money and pocketed it sullenly.

Ben did the same trick with the ten-dollar bill that he’d done with the twenties. He used his wallet to get it to the edge of the table, then he swept it inside with a single pinky, using as little contact as possible. He got down low to the table and stuck out the tip of his tongue as he worked.

Gretchen rolled her eyes. She tossed down another twenty. “Get another case of beer, too. If you get the cheap one, you might have enough for two.” Her fold of money had significantly thinned, but she stuck it back into the jar without checking the total.

Ben nodded. “I will gladly spend your sugar daddy money,” he said solemnly. “Maybe it’s got bad vibes, but the chicken guys will accept it just the same.” He started to get up when Shaun screeched his chair back and leapt to his feet. He seized Ben’s arm with one, large hand.

“I’m coming with you,” he growled. “We need to talk.”

Ben’s eyes widened dramatically, but he said nothing as Shaun steered him out of the room.

Jesse blinked after them. He heard the front door slam.

Gretchen snorted and Jesse turned back to the table. He quirked an eyebrow.

“That poor lost puppy,” she said with a sad shake of her head.

Jesse smiled slowly. “You like him, don’t you?”

“He’s my sister’s plaything,” Gretchen said wearily. She pulled out a chair and fell into it with a sigh.

“Well, I think he’d rather be your plaything,” Jesse said boldly.

“I’ve been hurt too many times, Jesse,” Gretchen said sadly. “My heart’s been repeatedly dragged through the mud. I’ve been recovering from the last guy for just over a year now and I still have nightmares about that fuck,” she said bitterly. “I caught him in my bed with three sluts and a bunch of coke. I’ve never seen that dick so goddamn excited.” She aggressively flicked her cigarette in the ashtray.

Jesse bit his lip. He wanted to laugh.

“Every time I have that dream, I wake up out of breath and covered in sweat,” Gretchen said with an angry gleam in her honey-brown eyes. Jesse’s amusement faded. “Every single time,” she muttered and the look on her face became tortured. “I hate that dream.”

“I’m sorry,” Jesse whispered.

“I just…” Gretchen sighed. She took a long drag on her cigarette. “I have this fear that I’ll jump in bed with Ben. We’ll satisfy each other and talk long into the night and I’ll wind up falling in love with him. Because that’s what I tend to do when I open my heart. I’m a sucker.” She pursed her lips and pushed out a thin, twisting column of smoke. “Then he’ll suddenly realize he misses Angela and he’ll drop me like a hot potato. I can’t take that kind of rejection. Not when I know it’s coming.”

“I don’t think he’d do that,” Jesse said cautiously.

“He’s a loyal little pup,” Gretchen said with a nod. “Once he gets his dick wet a few times, he’ll be on his knees with a big bouquet of roses, begging Angela to take him back.”

“He’s terrified of that woman,” Jesse laughed. “I think he’s looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship.”

“Then why is he still engaged? Why can’t he break up with Angela first if he’s interested in me?” Gretchen asked. “And why am I going to my sister’s house after the show so I can lie to her face and tell her my relationship with Ben is strictly platonic?”

“Because he’s scared shitless?”

“That’s not an excuse.”

“That was Shaun’s excuse,” Jesse said. “For avoiding me for so long.”

“Pfft.” Gretchen put out her cigarette and leaned back in her seat so she could cross her legs. “Don’t even get me started on your boyfriend. He’s an enormous pussy.”

“He’s not a pussy,” Jesse muttered. “His emotions are complicated and I’m trying to understand him better. It’s worth it.”

Gretchen rolled her eyes. She played absently with her lip ring.

“He stopped by my house today to pick me up,” Jesse continued. “He gave my kid a huge hug. He told me the other day he wasn’t sure he could see him again and I was nervous, but it was just like always. Brian was happy to see him and Shaun promised we’d bring him to a show before summer’s out.”

“Well, that’s good, I guess.” Gretchen shrugged.

Jesse looked at her for a long moment. “What happened with that groupie after the show last week? Shaun says all they did was kiss, but…”

Gretchen quirked an eyebrow.

Jesse hesitated. He didn’t want to heap any more negativity on his boyfriend, but maybe Gretchen had some advice. “We’ve been fighting about other things,” he said vaguely.

“Like money?”

“That’s part of it,” Jesse said. “I mean, I’m not good with money either. I blew all my savings on weed before school was out.”

Gretchen smirked. “I remember doing shit like that. There was a phase in my life when getting wasted was more important than eating or having somewhere comfortable to rest my head.”

“I don’t have time to go through that phase,” Jesse said. “The second I move out; I’m going to have to be able to provide for my kid. It’s been on my mind and it’s scaring the crap out of me that put together, me and Shaun have maybe twenty dollars. And that includes the ten bucks you just gave him,” he grumbled.

“I told him to get a job. Something part-time,” Gretchen said. “If he’s serious about moving out of his grandparent’s.”

“He isn’t going to do it,” Jesse said with a sigh. “I’ve accepted that.”

“You can’t get a job? Gretchen pushed her hair behind her ears then rested her elbows on the table. She dropped her chin between her hands. “On the weekends maybe?”

Jesse pressed his lips together. “I’m supposed to be watching the kids this weekend while my mom and her boyfriend do a bed and breakfast. I had to beg my thirteen-year-old brother and his friend to take over so I could be here.”

“You two are going to have to learn to sacrifice a little,” Gretchen said. “Your brother can watch the kids on the weekend, right? So, you miss a few shows, big deal. Get a job on your own and start getting some money together while you’re still living at home.”

“It’s a good idea,” Jesse said grudgingly. “But my mom won’t support it. She threatened to kick me out if I went to an interview.”

“What?” Gretchen made a face of disbelief. “Why?”

“Because she likes me being home all the time so I can watch the kids for her. I guess she’s been saving so much money avoiding babysitting costs, she and her boyfriend are planning on taking the whole family to Six Flags.”

Gretchen chuckled. “Wow, what am I talking about? Sounds like you sacrificed all summer long.”

Jesse glared at her. “I bet if I did manage to get a job, mom would make me pay rent out of spite. I’d probably be just as broke as I am now, and I’d never get a day off.”

Gretchen snorted.

Jesse carefully picked his words. “Shaun and I are having a difficult time deciding our roles in the relationship,” he said. “He seems to think I should do the bulk of the housework and the childcare. Since I’m the bottom—”

“Since you’re the bottom?”

Jesse pressed his lips together.

Gretchen laughed. “You mean the girl?”

“However you want to refer to it.” Jesse shrugged. “I explained to him that changing diapers and washing dishes doesn’t make you any less of a man. It makes you a responsible adult.”

Gretchen’s eyes traveled upward. “I guess that explains the buzzcut.”

Jesse snorted. “I had him change my baby sister’s diaper the other day. Huge mess. Poop was all over the carpet. It was a disaster.”

Gretchen laughed heartily. “Please tell me you got that on camera?”

“Of course not. I jumped into parent-mode and saved the day.”

Gretchen stuck another cigarette between her lips as a sleek, gray cat wandered into the kitchen. Jesse turned and watched Spooky pad across the linoleum. He jumped up on the edge of the sink and bent to lap at the water in the drain.

“Shaun’s not winning any awards for being woke. That much, I know for sure.” Gretchen said. “But I don’t think he’s got any heterosexual leanings, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

Jesse wrinkled his nose. “I met that groupie. The one he kissed.”

Gretchen mimicked Jesse’s expression. “I’ve seen her tons of times, but Saturday was our first official meeting. She gets around.”

Jesse had gotten that impression. He pressed his lips into a thin line.

“Relax. He was in a panic when we found him. He was crying for you, but I made him take some painkillers and get a couple hours of rest. He frowns in his sleep. Did you notice?”

“Not always.” Jesse’s heart warmed with affection. “When we’re together, he usually looks pretty peaceful.”

Gretchen blew smoke in Jesse’s direction. “There’s a good chance Nicky will be at the show tomorrow,” she said. “And we’re going to the afterparty, so if she’s at the show, she’ll definitely be at the party.”

Across the room, Spooky raised his head to look out the window. He sniffed the tiny, penis-shaped cactuses with his pink nose. Jesse watched him somberly. “I kind of figured.”

“I bet she’ll try to approach Shaun,” Gretchen said, frowning.

“What happened?”

“I don’t really know,” Gretchen said. “He was really upset though. And so was I. This bitch pops out of nowhere and pulls me and Ben aside. She said Shaun was wasted and needed help. She was frantic and I knew something was up. When I saw him on the lawn,” she shook her head. “He was hallucinating and screaming that everyone was laughing at him. He looked like shit, too. You could tell he was fucked up.”

Jesse chewed his lip.

“I wanted to cunt-punt that bitch,” Gretchen growled. “But I didn’t. I told her to get out of my face.” She sighed heavily. “I had bigger fish to fry. I was looking for Harry. He was our designated driver.”

Jesse trampled down a smile. “I’m not allowed to say anything to her. I can’t react if she touches him.”

Gretchen’s eyes flashed. “He’s going to hide the gay thing?”

“Of course,” Jesse grumbled. “He’s ashamed.”

Gretchen sighed heavily. “I wish I could say he was wrong, but I’m not sure how the scene would react. He’s so new.”

“He says he’s building a reputation.”

Gretchen nodded grudgingly. “Maybe it’s better to keep it under wraps for now.”

Jesse shrugged. He wasn’t going to argue. He was uncomfortable, but his feelings didn’t get a say.

“Just try to be patient,” Gretchen said as she ashed her cigarette. “You can’t make a name for yourself overnight… well unless you’re a legend or something.”

Jesse nodded. He was willing to be patient. He was gearing up for the grind of school in another month, too. Somehow, he’d be expected to hold the fort down at home, get the grades needed to graduate, and find time to be with Shaun. It was going to be an enormous struggle. He was sure of it.

“C’mon. Let’s find something on TV before they come back,” Gretchen said. She grabbed Shaun’s empty whisky glass from the table and carried it to the sink. Spooky looked at her in greeting.

“Meeeeow.”

Gretchen set the glass in the sink then stuck the butt of her cigarette between her lips. She lifted the cat in her arms and Spooky settled against her shoulder.

“I have the Conjuring for later,” Gretchen said as she glided out of the room. “After we eat, and Ben rolls us some blunts.”

Jesse grinned. “I heard that was a good one.” He got up and followed Gretchen into the living room.

***
 

It was thirty minutes to midnight and the four of them were gathered around Gretchen’s big TV. Jesse sat in the middle of the couch with Shaun on his right and Gretchen to the left. Ben was across the room in the armchair. It was reclined and he had his legs stretched out comfortably. There was a fuzzy bat blanket draped across his lap.

Shaun and Ben had returned with food and beer after nine. Ben had a pinched look on his face upon returning, but it had faded with the assistance of alcohol and weed. Shaun had been quiet and unresponsive since returning and he had yet to shake the bad mood. He skipped the beer and the weed completely and made himself another whisky. He found a seat in the corner of the couch and drank with a bitter look on his face. He got up now and then, to use the bathroom and to refill his glass, but other than that, he glared at the TV and watched the movie in total silence.

It was getting close to the end. Jesse had watched most of it, but he was bothered by Shaun’s silence and the deeply unhappy look on his face. He wanted to do something to cheer him up.

Gretchen had the cat in her lap and beer on the floor. The ashtray was on the arm of the couch beside her and she had a burning roach between her fingers. She took a hit then passed it to Jesse.

“You think I’m going to let you walk into this alone?” Lorraine said on the TV. She looked at her husband with concern.

“I can’t lose you,” Ed said firmly.

Lorraine’s face was serious. “You won’t. Let’s finish this together.”

Ben’s eyes shone with admiration. “They’re such an amazing couple.”

“I wish I could find a hunk like Ed,” Gretchen said with a sigh.

Shaun snorted into his glass of whisky.

Gretchen glared at him. “What?”

Shaun didn’t respond. He glared angrily at the TV.

Jesse skillfully released a billow of smoke. “Want some?” he asked Shaun, glancing at him shyly.

Shaun shook his head and took a swig from his glass. He didn’t meet Jesse’s gaze.

Jesse sighed and got up. He took the blunt to Ben.

“Thanks,” Ben said without looking away from the screen. He laughed. “Time for the showdown! The Warrens’ are gonna drag your demon asses to hell!”

Gretchen cackled as she pet her kitty. “This is the coolest part of the movie.”

Jesse fell back into his place on the couch and tugged the Jack Skellington blanket over his legs. He glanced at Shaun from the corner of his eye.

Shaun had his right ankle resting over his left leg. The whisky glass was in his right hand, on his right knee. Slyly, Jesse tossed the blanket over Shaun’s lap, as well. It brushed against Shaun’s glass, but his knee remained uncovered. Everything else was hidden under the blanket and Shaun turned to him with a growl.

“It’s kind of chilly in here,” Jesse said in a soft voice. He looked pointedly at Shaun’s lap and then, boldly, he grabbed his left thigh under the blanket.

Shaun jumped, and then sat up stiffly. His eyes narrowed, but he maintained his silence. He turned back to the TV.

“Carolyn’s going nuts,” Ben said excitedly. “Oh shit! She’s going to stab her kid!”

“They got there just in time,” Gretchen said. She scratched Spooky behind the ear. The kitty was purring loudly. “Keep watching.”

But Jesse wasn’t watching the movie anymore. He slid his hand along Shaun’s thigh until he found his zipper. Slowly, he pulled it down. Beside him, Shaun growled low in his throat, but Jesse ignored him. He reached into his pants and fished out his penis.

“Fuck, get those scissors away from her,” Ben commented, his eyes locked on the TV screen.

Gretchen waved a hand. “She doesn’t need scissors.”

Jesse was subtle as he began to stroke Shaun’s length. He squeezed the shaft warmly and played with the loose skin around the fat head. Shaun shifted uncomfortably as his cock pulsed to life in Jesse’s hand. He spread his thighs to make room for his erection to grow and for Jesse to pull his meat. Shakily, he lifted his whisky glass to his lips and finished the bitter drink with an audible swallow. There were deep furrows on his brow.

“Guess they’re not going to the priest anymore,” Ben muttered. “Look at her skin.”

“She can’t leave the house. It’ll kill her,” Gretchen said. She leaned down and kissed her cat between the ears. The cat tilted his head back luxuriously.

“Woah! She got thrown like a ragdoll!” Ben pointed excitedly at the TV. “She’s getting dragged back down to the basement!”

Jesse firmed his grasp as Shaun’s cock thickened against his palm. Gretchen and Ben were glued to the screen. He gave up on being subtle and began to work Shaun’s cock with enthusiasm. Shaun grunted and fell back against the couch as his cock grew to its full length and began to significantly tent the blanket. The wet sounds were muffled under the covering and Jesse stared sightlessly at the TV. His gaze blurred. He wanted to make Shaun orgasm. He wanted to make him happy.

“Carolyn’s got Ed by the throat! Holy crap.” Ben pulled the fuzzy bat blanket up to his chin.

“She’s possessed,” Gretchen said. “She’s got demonic powers right now.”

“She bit that cop in the jugular!” Ben laughed hysterically. “This is the best shit I’ve ever seen.”

Shaun’s jaw clenched as Jesse’s hand glided along his rigid shaft. Jesse’s arm flew up and down. He didn’t care who saw. He stroked and squeezed Shaun’s cock with a smile curling his lips.

“Tie that bitch down. Good idea,” Ben murmured. He took a long draw off the blunt. His eyes were glazed from the effects of the marijuana.

A slow smile stretched across Gretchen’s face. “They’re going to do their own exorcism.”

“Where’s their other daughter? April?”

“Just watch.”

Shaun hunched over Jesse’s hand and grumbled something as he continued to pleasure his cock. He bit down firmly on his bottom lip to suppress the sounds as his cock twitched eagerly in Jesse’s hand. Jesse smiled as he flexed his fingers along Shaun’s rock-hard length. His hand was hot and sweaty, but he didn’t care. He rubbed Shaun with affection.

“Ed Warren is so sexy,” Gretchen said. She kissed her cat a second time and pulled the animal into her chest for a hug. The cat leapt out of her arms immediately and ran for the hall. “Aww, come back Spooky-cat.”

“That’s not what the real guy looks like, you know?” Ben grumbled.

“Who cares.” Gretchen gave Ben the finger.

Jesse focused on the television.

Ed Warren read dramatic verses from an old book while Carolyn screamed like a witch. She was tied to a wooden chair with a bloody sheet over her head.

Shaun’s ankle slid off his knee and he sat upright. He set his glass on the floor then reached under the blanket to knock Jesse’s hand away. He adjusted himself quickly then stood. The blanket fell away. The bulge was obvious. Jesse blinked at him in surprise, but Shaun didn’t meet his gaze. His eyes were narrowed into dangerous slits.

Gretchen glanced up at him and her eyes slowly scanned down his body. Her gaze stopped on Shaun’s large erection and her eyebrows climbed into her hairline.

His cheeks reddening, Shaun swept out of the room.

Jesse wiped his hand on his jeans. He got up too.

“Oooh, I see how it is,” Gretchen drawled. She pulled a cigarette out of the pack resting beside her. “You just gave him a handie, didn’t you?”

Ben snorted. He covered his mouth and laughed even harder into his hand.

Jesse winked at Gretchen, then followed his boyfriend into the hall.

It was dark. Gretchen had plug-in nightlights to illuminate the area, but Jesse paused just outside the living room to let his eyes adjust. He rested a hand against the wall and edged along slowly. Suddenly, a few feet down the hall, Shaun strode out of the bathroom and Jesse stopped in surprise.

Shaun glowered at him, but he was totally silent. He turned and started toward the sliding glass door at the end of the hall. Jesse saw something in his hand, but he couldn’t make it out in the half-light. He followed Shaun’s long strides to the door, and they stepped out into the night. Shaun slid the door shut quietly behind them, then he whirled on Jesse.

“What the fuck was that?” he growled.

Jesse chewed his bottom lip. “I just wanted to make you happy.”

“So, you gave me an erection in front of my band?” Shaun scoffed. He wrapped a hand around Jesse’s wrist and tugged him across the lawn. “You’re going to finish what you started,” he grumbled. “Properly, this time.”

Jesse grinned with exuberance. He trailed after Shaun and waited patiently while he messed with the combination lock.

“Fucking stupid thing…” Shaun muttered. He unlocked the door at last and pulled Jesse inside. The door shut firmly behind them. There was a set of switches near the door. Shaun hit the one on the right and the colored Christmas lights came on.

“Wow, pretty,” Jesse said in appreciation.

Shaun released him and stalked across the room. There was a rickety side table next to the couch with fat candles melted to the surface. There was a grill lighter beside them and Shaun clicked it and lit the back row.

Jesse chewed his lip as he watched Shaun get everything set up. His cock was getting chubby.

Shaun sprawled out on the couch next. He gazed across the room at Jesse, his dark eyes glittering with intensity. He set something beside him, and Jesse finally realized it was a tub of Vaseline. Shaun stared into Jesse’s eyes as he slowly unzipped his fly.

His cock sprang free of its constraints. It was fully erect and pulsing with need. Shaun opened the Vaseline and smeared some on his shaft. Jesse watched with growing arousal as Shaun stroked the thick length with confidence.

“Get over here,” Shaun said in a deep voice. He fisted the base of his cock and hissed. “I want to watch you ride my cock again.”

Jesse groaned and stripped out of his clothes right there on the spot. He toed his shoes off as an afterthought and kicked up his heels, one after the other, and pulled off his socks.

Shaun watched him approach, his face warmed by the twinkling lights. When Jesse got close, he let go of his cock and spread his legs. He teasingly patted his thigh. “Climb up,” he said, his lips curling with amusement.

Jesse looked down at his glistening cock. Shaun flexed his muscles and his rigid shaft twitched in response. Jesse licked his lips and settled his left knee along Shaun’s right thigh. He grabbed the back of the couch as he straddled Shaun’s cock. He reached below and grasped the eager length. Trembling with anticipation, Jesse guided the head back to his hole.

Shaun gripped Jesse’s hips and looked deep into his blue eyes. “Sit on it,” he commanded.

Jesse bit his lip as he bore down on Shaun’s thick erection. It was always a tight fit in the beginning and Jesse winced as he impaled himself at a snail’s pace. His inner muscles spasmed and gave way to the large, slippery intrusion. He gasped as his hole began to dilate. The ring of muscle stung, but the walls of his hole tingled with pleasure. His cock was hard and straining between them, but neither of them touched it.

Shaun cupped Jesse’s ass cheeks and spread them wide as Jesse sank lower. “Get it all in, baby. That’s good,” he whispered.

Jesse moaned and dug his fingers into the back of the couch. His face was flushed. He could feel the heat in his cheeks. He buried his face against Shaun’s neck and clutched the back of the couch as he took more cock into his body. He was three-quarters of the way impaled. He took a slow, deep breath and relaxed his asshole. They groaned together as Jesse settled fully onto Shaun’s length.

Shaun’s hands were between Jesse’s butt and his thighs. He squeezed his handful firmly. “Fuck yourself, Jesse,” he hissed in his ear.

Jesse groaned. He lifted up and then slid down Shaun’s slippery dick. He repeated the action, increasing the pace as his asshole loosened and the pain went away. He let go of the couch and reached behind him. He grabbed Shaun’s knees and arched his back. He leaned back and fucked Shaun vigorously while his cock bobbed and swayed between them.

Shaun wrapped a hand around Jesse’s needy dick. He pulled the length with long, measured strokes. Jesse moaned sweetly. He tipped his head back as Shaun stroked him lazily. He had a smug look on his face.

Jesse worked up a sweat fucking himself on Shaun’s big dick, but after several long minutes, exhaustion finally hit him and he slowed to a stop with a groan. Weak, Jesse looped his arms around Shaun’s neck and hung his head. He watched dazedly as Shaun continued to masturbate his stiff cock. He panted, totally breathless as his thighs burned and his arms shook from overuse. Shaun’s hand felt delicious, stroking, and rubbing his shaft with care. And Jesse felt amazing sliding up and down his cock. Even now, while resting, Shaun’s thick shaft rested against his hot, greasy pleasure button. The length stretched the ring of his asshole so perfectly.

“You stopped moving,” Shaun grunted.

Jesse groaned as he started to move again. He clung to Shaun and hunched his hips with small, jerky motions so his ass bounced up and down on Shaun’s dick. He couldn’t keep it up for long, though. He was tired and highly aroused, all in the same breath and when Shaun’s cockhead nailed Jesse’s prostate three good times in a row, he came with a helpless shout of pleasure. He splattered his come across Shaun’s t-shirt and then fell weakly against his chest as his balls finished emptying.

Jesse gasped desperately for breath. “Oh my God,” he moaned. His whole body was tingling. His thighs were on fire.

Shaun smirked. “We’re not done yet.” He scooped Jesse up and lifted him off his hard, shiny cock. He tossed Jesse on his back then got up on his knees between his open thighs. He lifted one of Jesse’s legs over his shoulder and lined his cock up with his tight, greasy pucker. Before Jesse could catch his breath, Shaun entered him a second time.

“Ahhh!” Jesse gasped as Shaun plunged deep into his body. His anal muscles clenched down on his cock in surprise.

Shaun began to thrust his hips. He drove his cock into Jesse’s open body with enthusiasm. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he groaned, caressing Jesse’s cheek. “I love you.”

Jesse bit his lip. “I love you, too, Shaun.”

Shaun loomed over him, his entire body obscuring Jesse’s view of the room. He pressed close and captured Jesse’s lips in a soft kiss. He slid his tongue into his mouth as he drove his hips into Jesse’s ass with enthusiasm. The wet smacking sounds were highly obscene.

Jesse moaned as Shaun’s length rubbed against his prostate with increasing speed and frequency. He gasped wetly as his ass was pounded into the couch cushions. His cock twitched with interest, but it was still very much asleep.

Jesse ghosted his fingers along Shaun’s strong, flexing abdomen as a random thought floated through his mind. This was the second time they’d had sex and Shaun had kept all his clothes on. He looked up at him shyly.

Shaun was doing some impressive ab crunches, but his toned stomach was hidden under his stained t-shirt. He still had his jeans on, too. They scratched Jesse’s sensitive inner thighs. Shaun rested an arm along the back of the couch to support his weight. He grunted as he fucked Jesse’s little body with force. Shaun’s eyes were narrowed, and they burned with lust. His teeth were clenched. He hissed through them aggressively. “I’m so tired of waiting all week long to fuck you,” he growled. “You should be here to ride my dick. Whenever I want.”

Jesse squeezed his asshole in response. He was finally starting to get hard again, but he wasn’t concerned with his dick. He sighed and wrapped his arms around Shaun. He held on tight and enjoyed the warm feeling of Shaun’s possessiveness. It made him feel safe and loved…like Shaun wouldn’t leave him for a sexy groupie and a better chance at fame. Shaun fucked him steadily until he came with a deep, guttural sound.

“Guwhaaa,” Shaun groaned. His cock spurt inside Jesse several times. Jesse could feel it. Shaun fell on top of him when it was over. He was breathing heavily. It was hot and wet against Jesse’s cheek.

They lay together like that for a short time. Jesse’s erection faded as they cuddled in each other’s arms. Eventually, Shaun sat up and pulled out of Jesse’s body with a sigh.

Jesse groaned and drew his knees up to his chest as Shaun scooted out of the way. He could feel Shaun’s come leaking from his well-used asshole and he didn’t want to get it on Gretchen’s couch. “Can you find some napkins?”

Shaun looked around. He spotted a roll of paper towels on top of a set of speakers. He got up and retrieved it. He handed some to Jesse.

Jesse reached between his thighs to wipe his hole as Shaun watched him with half-lidded eyes. The other boy leisurely cleaned his dick and tucked himself away. In seconds, he was decent again, and Jesse sat up and wrapped his arms around himself. He felt incredibly naked, sitting on Gretchen’s couch, surrounded by all her cool things.

Shaun sat beside him and pulled one of Jesse’s naked feet into his lap. Jesse sprawled back against the couch and his legs fell open. Shaun ghosted his fingertips along the sensitive sole of Jesse’s foot.

Jesse giggled and tried to pull his leg back. Shaun’s hand clenched down on his ankle.

“Let me look,” he growled.

Jesse settled down. He smiled gently as he watched Shaun explore his toes. Shaun’s hand traveled upward. He could almost wrap his entire hand around Jesse’s slender calf. He squeezed the muscles and worked his way up, his fingers sliding inward and skimming along Jesse’s inner thigh.

Jesse sighed with pleasure. His toes curled in Shaun’s lap, against the fly of his jeans. “Take your clothes off,” he breathed. His cock hadn’t gotten a chance the second time. It stiffened with interest between his splayed thighs.

But Shaun bristled. His hand froze on Jesse’s leg. “I don’t want to get naked out here,” he grumbled.

“I’m naked,” Jesse said with a laugh. He didn’t comment on how uncomfortable and exposed he felt, especially with the door unlocked. “C’mon, I want to see you.”

Shaun pushed Jesse away. He crossed his arms and looked away determinedly.

A spike of ice shot through Jesse’s heart. “Oh my god. You started cutting again. Didn’t you.”

Shaun’s jaw worked.

“Show me.”

Shaun didn’t look at Jesse. He sat, stiff with tension, for a long moment. Then he pulled up his t-shirt.

“Oh my god.” Jesse covered his mouth. There was an angry red cut under Shaun’s belly button. Five fingers long. Fresh. It wasn’t as deep as the stab wound that had required stitches, but it stood out starkly against his pale-white belly.

Shaun dropped his t-shirt. “I didn’t want you to freak out.”

“I’m definitely not freaked out!” Jesse cried. “What the hell, Shaun! You promised!”

Shaun cringed. He got up and walked in front of the mic stand. He stood with his back to Jesse. “It’s not a big deal—”

“Yes, it is!” Jesse pounded his fist onto the cushion beside him, but it didn’t have the effect he was looking for. “Shaun. Please. Talk to me. Are you suicidal?”

Shaun whirled around. “No!”

Jesse pressed his lips together.

“I like doing it, okay,” Shaun said through his teeth. “I’ve been jerking off and cutting myself at the same time.”

Jesse’s eyebrows shot up. “Jerking off and…cutting yourself?”

“Yeah.” Shaun’s eyes flashed. “It makes me come really hard. Like when I’m fucking you.”

Jesse blinked at him. “Then why don’t you just fuck me!”

“Because we were taking a break when I started,” Shaun grumbled. “Cutting has always calmed me down, but when I tried it this time, it gave me an erection.”

“But…” Jesse frowned. It didn’t make sense. How could cutting yourself give you an erection! “But why?!”

“Because it feels good to me,” Shaun said with a shrug. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me Jesse. I told you. I’m messed up and that was before I knew pain got me off.” He frowned deeply. “I’ve been having fucked up fantasies about you since we met.”

Jesse chewed his lip. “Like what?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Jesse stood up and crossed the room. He stopped when he was toe-to-boot with Shaun. He felt so vulnerable, standing totally nude.

Shaun looked him right in the eye. Unrepentant.

“If I can satisfy you somehow,” Jesse touched his arm. “Tell me.”

“You do enough,” Shaun hissed. “I don’t want to twist your innocent little mind.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Jesse planted his hands on his hips. “I’m not innocent!”

Shaun stared at him severely. “I want to see you in pain under my hand,” he said darkly, and Jesse saw a swell of arousal overtake his whole expression. It only lasted for a moment, but it chilled him to the bone. “I want to make you bleed,” Shaun said in a whisper. “How does that make you feel?”

Jesse nervously licked his lips. “Scared.”

Shaun’s eyes followed Jesse’s tongue as it wetted his bottom lip. He swayed closer. “That makes my dick hard.”

Jesse started to tear up. “Are you going to hurt me?”

“Jesus Christ, Jesse.” Shaun threw his head back and let out a frustrated groan. “Have I ever?”

“A little,” Jesse said softly.

Shaun chuckled menacingly. He looked Jesse straight in the eye. “I can’t help it if my big dick hurts your tender little asshole.”

Jesse flushed. “You like to bite me.”

Shaun’s eyes darkened. “When I was a kid, I wanted to be a vampire.”

The comment was so random, Jesse couldn’t help bursting into laughter.

“That was before the Twilight bullshit,” Shaun said, his nose wrinkling with disgust. “I wanted to suck blood. I wanted to have fangs and claws and super speed so I could kill with my bare hands.”

Jesse’s amusement faded. “Do you want to kill people?”

Shaun huffed. “No.” His hands were balled into fists at his sides and he shook them loose again. “Not unless I’m pissed off.”

“You’re pissed all the time,” Jesse pointed out.

“You piss me off all the time,” Shaun growled. “Maybe you should learn your lesson.”

Jesse scoffed. “Why? What are you going to do to me?”

Shaun slid an arm around Jesse’s waist and with the other, he swept his legs out from under him. Smirking, he lifted Jesse, bridal-style, and carried him to the couch. He set him down gently and then straightened to pull off his shirt. He tossed it aside

“I’m going to pound your sweet ass until you beg me to stop,” Shaun said affectionately. He unzipped his jeans and pushed them and his boxers down to his ankles. Jesse struggled to contain his horror. Shaun was all cut up. There was another large wound on his thigh, one on his chest, a few smaller ones climbing his right calf. “That’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to fuck you.”

Jesse’s eyes were full of tears when Shaun settled on top of him. He was so upset.

Shaun kissed Jesse’s lips softly. “Stop crying,” he said in a deep voice. “You’re turning me on.”

“That’s good, right?” Jesse laughed bitterly as Shaun’s cock thickened against his belly. “Since you’re gonna break my asshole.”

Shaun hummed. He kissed Jesse’s wet cheeks. When he pulled back, he licked the salt from his lips. “Fuck, you taste good,” he moaned. “Every part of you tastes good.”

Jesse slid his arms around Shaun. He buried his face in soft, clean-smelling hair. “Stop cutting yourself, idiot.”

“Shut up,” Shaun growled. “You can’t make me.” Then he slammed his mouth down on Jesse’s.

They fucked twice more before falling into a deep sleep, entwined together on the couch.

Jesse was plagued with bad dreams. He and Shaun were at a non-descript venue. Brick. No windows. A vacant lot. It was the middle of the night and Shaun pushed ahead of him and slid in the back door. Jesse hurried after him and was plunged into darkness when the heavy door slammed behind them.

A spotlight clicked on far down the hallway. Jesse blinked in the blinding light. He held a hand in front of his face. Shaun stood just ahead of him. He turned the second Jesse’s eyes started to adjust to the brilliant beam.

“Hurry up, Jess. We’re gonna miss the show,” he called.

Jesse stumbled after him. “Shaun, wait up.”

“Let’s go,” Shaun said as he strode ahead confidently. His figure began to disappear into the spotlight. “C’mon. Everyone’s expecting me.”

Jesse gasped. Shaun was far ahead. He was an elongated shadow in the distance. “Wait! Shaun!” He started to run. “Let me catch up!” He ran and he ran but the light never got any closer. It danced tauntingly in the distance.

“There’s no time.”

“What do you mean? There’s no one here!” Jesse cried. He tripped hard and fell onto his hands and knees. The pain was searing. Jesse looked down at his palms and screamed. They were ripped up and dripping with blood.

“Jess, the show’s about to begin,” Shaun called, but Jesse couldn’t see him anymore. He was alone in the never-ending hallway, blinded by a distant light he couldn’t seem to reach no matter how hard he ran.

“Shaun please…” He sobbed. “Wait…”

He was rudely awakened when he was shoved into the back of the couch. “Oof. What the hell?” Shaun rolled off the edge, muttering angrily under his breath as he snatched his clothes from the floor. Jesse looked up dazedly.

Gretchen stood in the doorway with a cup of coffee cradled in her hands. She wore a fuzzy black robe with pink skulls and her hair was in a bun. She took a dainty sip from her cup. “Morning.”

“Err…” Jesse sat up, running a hand over his head. “Hey. Morning.” He looked down and noticed he was completely naked. “Oh.” He covered himself with his hands.

Gretchen chuckled. “Relax. I’ve already seen both your dicks. It’s nothing I can’t handle.” She watched with amusement as Shaun frantically pulled his clothes on. Jesse glanced at him, too, as he struggled to contain his morning wood.

“Fucking…bullshit,” Shaun grumbled as he finally secured the zip. “Just couldn’t wait to see it again, could you?” Now dressed, he lifted his head and glared across the room, his eyes narrowed into slits. He bared his teeth and his hands balled into fists. “You came in here on purpose. What the fuck did you think we were doing in here?!”

Gretchen quirked an eyebrow. “Somebody rolled off the wrong side of the couch.”

“There’s only one side,” Shaun hissed.

Gretchen snorted. “Exactly. The bad side.” She started to turn away and as she did, she tossed over her shoulder, “Ben’s making breakfast. Come get it while it’s still hot.” The garage door banged shut behind her.

Shaun shook with rage. “That fucking bitch,” he fumed. “If she weren’t so useful, I’d drive her out to the desert. Somewhere hot and dry and isolated. And I’d leave that stupid goth bitch to roast in the sun.”

Jesse laughed. “Stop. She’s being a good host.”

Shaun ground his teeth together.

Jesse got up and collected his clothes. As he dressed, he thought absently about the other two members of Shaun’s band. “What did you say to Ben yesterday? You know, when you went to pick up the chicken.”

Shaun fell back on the couch and pulled his boots on moodily. “That I’ll fucking castrate him if I find out he’s fucking Gretchen.”

“Shaun…” Jesse shook his head.

“This is exactly the kind of drama that ruins bands,” Shaun hissed as he laced his boots with force. “I seriously thought Gretchen was better than this. I don’t know why, though. She’s a goddamn slut and she’s proud of it.”

Jesse frowned. “You’re not being fair.”

“This is why I didn’t want a girl in the band!” Shaun shouted. “Fucking drama!”

“She’s trying to get it under control. This isn’t Gretchen’s fault—”

“Yes, it is! She’s flaunting her pussy all over the internet!”

Jesse rolled his eyes. “She’s only flaunting it in one place. On her cam site.” He grabbed his shoes and stepped toward the couch. “I’ve never seen her videos. If Ben came across them, he was probably looking for it specifically.”

Shaun grumbled disagreeably under his breath. He crossed his arms.

“Please,” Jesse said in a soft voice. He sat beside Shaun and laid a hand on his knee. “I understand why you’re concerned. But you have no control over what Ben and Gretchen decide to do.”

Shaun growled. “Look what those idiots did already! They lost us our practice space and our super-comfortable pullout bed! Over Facebook!”

Jesse chuckled. “Who cares. This place is so much cooler, and no one is hassling us about the smoke.” He beamed. “Gretchen doesn’t care if we spend the night either.”

“Yeah, well, what’ll happen when Angela finds out they kissed?” Shaun hissed. “What then?”

“Then they’ll break up and Ben will find another place,” Jesse said simply. “People break up. Sometimes it’s a good thing.”

“But what will happen to the band?” Shaun said through his teeth. “We’re barely off the ground. What happens when they’re arguing about stupid couple stuff when we’re supposed to be practicing?”

Jesse shrugged. “Like what? Money? We’re already arguing about that. And so, what, Shaun? Ben and Gretchen know all our business and you still find time to play. It’ll work itself out. If you try to fight it, you’ll only make them resent you and then you’ll have an even bigger problem on your hands. They aren’t going to want to play for you anymore.”

Shaun sighed heavily. “Yeah.”

Jesse tugged his shoes on. “C’mon. Let’s get something to eat.” He got up and held out a hand. “Today’s a big day. Let’s try to enjoy it.” He smiled gently. “Okay?”

Shaun made a disagreeable face, but he took Jesse’s hand and stood. He towered over him, his dark eyes swirling with unreadable emotion.

Jesse thought about Shaun’s confession last night. About his blood fantasy… The hairs on the back of his neck stood up.

Shaun laced their fingers. With his other hand, he caressed Jesse’s cheek. His eyes roamed leisurely over Jesse’s face and his fingertips followed gently. “Your hair’s growing back,” he said with a faint smile. “It’ll be back to normal in no time.” His gaze lifted so he could study the strands of hair sprouting from Jesse’s head. They gleamed a reddish gold in the light slanting through the narrow glass block window behind them.

Jesse took a deep breath. He was seriously thinking about finding his boyfriend psychiatric help. He didn’t think anything about the cutting and the blood was okay or normal. And it certainly wasn’t sexy. He was freaked out. He leaned into Shaun’s hand. “I love you, Shaun,” he said softly.

Shaun hummed agreeably. He rubbed his thumb along Jesse’s bottom lip. He bent his head and lifted Jesse’s chin at the same time. He captured his lips in a soft, but enthusiastic kiss. Jesse wrapped his arms around Shaun’s waist and fell into him. He held on for as long as he could.

When they found their way inside, Shaun went straight to the bathroom and Jesse followed him in. He watched as Shaun handled his morning wood. His cock was rock hard, and Jesse regretted they didn’t have the time to mess around. He went right after Shaun.

Shaun finger-combed his hair and checked his general appearance in the mirror while he waited. “Hopefully, Ben has an extra shirt I can borrow,” he muttered. “You stained my mine, asshole.”

Jesse winced. “Sorry.”

They headed to the kitchen next. Jesse caught the time on the microwave and was shocked to see it was past one. He and Shaun found seats at the table. There were four paper plates and tall glasses of Bloody Mary next to each. Compliments of Gretchen. The pitcher rested in the center of the table next to the ashtray. There were thick stalks of celery sticking out haphazardly.

“Who want’s breakfast burritos!” Ben called cheerfully from the stove.

Gretchen, midway through a cigarette, patted her belly. “Load me up, Benny-boy.” She smashed out her butt as Ben turned off the stove and approached with the skillet.

Ben stopped between Gretchen and Shaun. He served Gretchen first. He scooped a burrito onto her plate with his spatula. “Told you I could whip something up with that junk in your fridge.”

Gretchen looked down at her food with amazement. “Holy shit that looks good.”

Ben chuckled. He turned to Shaun next and loaded a burrito onto his plate. When he turned to get to Jesse, Gretchen reached around and pinched him on the ass.

Ben leapt about a foot. The pan with sizzling burritos nearly upended, but he slammed it onto the tabletop before he lost the food. Immediately, his cheeks turned bright red.

Gretchen cut into her burrito with zest. “If Angela doesn’t take you back, I might just keep you around. I hate cooking.” She took a huge bite. “Oh fuck. That’s good shit, Ben.”

“T-thanks,” Ben stammered. He used the spatula to serve Jesse next. “My mom taught me. She was an amazing cook. She won competitions at the state fair,” he said with a nod. He served the last one onto his plate next to Jesse’s and his cheeks were so adorably flushed. Jesse wondered what he and Gretchen had gotten up to last night, after he and Shaun had gone to the garage.

He smiled slyly at the bashful young man. “When Gretchen said you were making breakfast, I figured it was morning.”

“Nope. It’s 1:30. We woke up a half hour ago,” Ben said as he took the skillet back to the stove. He paused there for a minute and Jesse imagined he was trying to compose himself.

“I can’t believe we slept so late.”

“Yeah,” Ben laughed nervously. “Me either.”

“When’s Harry coming to pick us up?” Shaun grunted. He tore into his food with the side of his fork. He was scowling something terrible. He was probably picking up the same vibe Jesse was. Something had gone down in the living room last night.

“He’s coming around six,” Gretchen said around a bite of burrito. “So, we need to have the pizzas picked up before that.”

“Pizzas?” Shaun sneered.

“I’m buying everyone dinner. Harry said he’d bring beers so we’re going to eat, load up the van, then hit the road.”

Jesse watched closely as Ben returned to the table. For the most part, he looked normal. His outfit had changed. His dark hair was neat, but it was cut short, so it didn’t need much styling anyway. He sat beside Gretchen and pulled his plate in front of him. He kept his head down as he shoveled food into his mouth. Beside him, Gretchen reached under the table. She smirked and from Ben’s sudden jump, it was obvious she was touching his leg. Ben hunched over his plate and promptly resumed his meal. His cheeks reddened a second time.

Jesse beamed. He supported the relationship wholeheartedly. He liked both of them and thought they would make a cute couple.

After breakfast, Ben loaned Shaun a t-shirt. Shaun ripped his off in the middle of the kitchen to change, displaying his fresh wounds to everyone. He didn’t seem to care. Gretchen caught Jesse’s eyes, but neither of them mentioned it.

Shaun had been right. They never got around to another practice session. The alcohol started flowing at breakfast and resumed as they made their way into the living room. Ben rolled some blunts on the side table while Gretchen browsed the channels on-demand.

Shaun had a beer in hand and a frown on his face. He drank unhappily as Gretchen played back-to-back horror flicks. When they were halfway through the third movie of the afternoon, Shaun started muttering angrily under his breath. He glared hatefully at the TV screen.

“Maybe you should slow down,” Jesse murmured to him. “It’s early yet.” He tried to touch Shaun’s leg, but he was immediately shrugged off.

“I’m fine,” he growled. “Don’t tell me what to do, Jesse.”

Jesse sighed. He left it alone.

Gretchen ordered the pizzas at five and Ben left to pick them up a half hour later. When he returned, Harry stepped into the room behind him.

“Look who I ran into,” Ben said with a smile. He cleared his baggie of weed from the side table and set the pizzas down.

Harry had another case of beer at his side and a sheepish look on his face. “We’ve gotta talk about the transportation, guys.”

Gretchen huffed. She had a cigarette between her fingers, and she took a forceful pull. “What do you mean?”

“This bar is twenty minutes from my apartment,” Harry said. He handed the case of beer to Ben when he reached for it and Ben ripped open the side and handed out another round. “I just drove an hour and a half to get here. There’s no way I’m driving all the way out here a second time to drop you guys off. That’s a three-hour drive,” Harry continued. He was starting to sound whiny. He perched on the edge of the armchair as Ben swept out of the room. Harry opened the pizza box on top and stole a slice. “I drove two hours last week after I dropped you off. It’s not fair.”

Gretchen ashed her cigarette aggressively. “Oh c’mon! Then why did you drive all the way out here to begin with!”

“I don’t know. I was kicking myself all the way thinking about it,” Harry muttered. He took a bite of the pizza. “We should have met at the bar.”

Gretchen threw up her hands. “Yeah, but…I don’t want to drive all the way out there either!”

Ben returned with the stack of paper plates from the kitchen. He handed them around. He gave Harry the evil eye when he handed him a plate and Harry took it guiltily.

“Sorry, man. I didn’t touch anything.”

“Better grab the napkins, too,” Gretchen snorted and Ben stepped back into the hall.

“What a perfect little pet you have, Gretch,” Shaun sneered. He set his plate beside him, uninterested. He cracked open the beer Ben had given him, however, and took a healthy swig.

Gretchen ignored him. She called out, her voice dripping with honey. “Hey, Ben? Can you drive us to this bar? Harry’s wimping out.”

“I’m not wimping out. I almost fell asleep behind the wheel last week,” Harry complained. “I’m doing you a huge favor, taking pictures. This isn’t my band.”

Gretchen rubbed her chin in thought as Ben drifted into the room with handfuls of napkins. “Well, we’re tentatively looking for a rhythm guitarist.”

“I don’t know, I’ll think about it,” Harry said as he finished his pizza and graciously accepted a small stack of napkins from Ben. “I know nobody sees our vision, but I really think we’ve got something good in the makings.”

Gretchen pulled a face. “With Twisted Heads?”

“I know,” Harry snorted. “Like I said, nobody sees our vision.”

Gretchen rolled her eyes.

“I’ll think about it,” Harry said again, licking his fingers. “But it would be pretty messed up if I just bailed on my bandmates. We’re finally getting some momentum going with our act.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Gretchen said disinterestedly.

Ben went around the room with the pizza box next. Gretchen and Jesse took a slice each, but Shaun passed.

“Not hungry,” he grumbled under his breath.

Ben took three pieces for himself, then offered Harry another slice. “I could drive,” Ben said. “But I don’t know if I can fit everyone’s equipment in the trunk.”

“I’ll drive separate,” Shaun bit out. “I need a break from…this.” He gestured vaguely around the room.

“Guess it’s settled then.” Ben took a large bite of his pepperoni pizza. “We’re driving in a three-vehicle convoy. Fun.”

They ate and sat around drinking for close to an hour. Shaun, Ben, and Harry discussed directions and Jesse tuned them out. He studied his boyfriend as he talked seriously about routes and exits. They began loading the equipment at seven and left shortly after. Roll call was at nine, but the show started at half-past the hour.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Shaun said darkly as they followed Harry’s GMC out of Gretchen’s neighborhood. Behind them, Gretchen and Ben followed at a safe distance in Ben’s Nissan.

“I don’t,” Jesse lied. He couldn’t shake the horror from last night. Discovering Shaun’s dark fantasies had been disturbing to say the least. He was concerned about Shaun’s mental health, but there was no way he was bringing it up before the show. “Tonight’s going to be great. I know it.”

Shaun’s jaw worked with irritation. “I wish those fuckers hadn’t started all this romantic bullshit,” he said bitterly. “They fucked last night. Didn’t they?”

Jesse sighed. “Kinda looks like it.”

Shaun growled like a bear. He grabbed the wheel in a death grip and loomed over it aggressively. “I’m going to slice Ben’s cock off at the base and jam it so far down his throat…” Spittle sprayed across the windshield as he spoke. “He’ll rupture his own intestines and die like that, foaming at the mouth, withering in agony, as his organs simmer in their own acidic juices.”

Jesse blinked. “I seriously hope you’re joking.

“Grrrrr!”

Jesse pressed his fingers into his eyes while beside him, Shaun thrashed in his seat, throwing an impressive tantrum.

It was a long drive. After Shaun managed to pull himself together, they fell into an uncomfortable silence. Shaun seemed like he was embarrassed. He wouldn’t look at Jesse. He ground his teeth as he drove, passing cars left and right. They’d long ago left Harry’s GMC and Ben’s Nissan in the dust. Jesse had surreptitiously searched for the bar, The Iron House, on Google, but Shaun never asked for directions. He drove with both hands on the wheel and his lips turned down at the corners.

When they reached the Iron House, it was exactly eight thirty.

“We should go inside,” Shaun muttered. They’d parked way at the back of the lot. It was a black two-story building. The front was decorated with iron chains and neon lights, but the back was plain brick. Shaun got up and Jesse opened his door.

There was a group of people hanging out a couple rows away. It was a mix of the sexes. Three women and four young men chatted and laughed as they passed a blunt between them.

“Are you coming?” Shaun snapped and Jesse turned around. Shaun stood with his guitar in one hand and the amp in the other. His brow furrowed. “Let’s go.”

Jesse stepped after Shaun as he whirled and started for the bar. He approached the back door labeled EMPLOYEES ONLY and set his amp down. He knocked briskly and then waited with a scowl on his face. Jesse stopped beside him. He hoped they wouldn’t have any trouble getting in on their own.

The door opened momentarily. It was an older guy, but he was incredibly tall and broad shouldered. “What?” he asked, his lip curling.

“I’m with Defaced,” Shaun said. “This is my friend.” He gestured over his shoulder.

The guy glanced at Jesse briefly. “IDs?”

Shaun bared his teeth. “I said I’m with one of the bands. I didn’t bring my ID.”

“Then sorry,” the guy said. “Can’t let you in.” He folded his arms and stood steadfast in front of the door, refusing entrance.

Shaun gaped at him. “Oh, c’mon! You’re joking right?”

The guy’s firm expression didn’t change.

“Fuck you!” Shaun roared. “I’m supposed to be on stage tonight!”

“Get out of here,” the guy sneered. He stepped back and slammed the door in Shaun’s face.

“No!” Shaun shouted. He dropped his guitar and pounded the door with both hands. “Fucking let me in!”

“Shaun!” Jesse grabbed his arm. “Shaun! Stop, you’re making a scene!” The group smoking in the parking lot was staring at them. Some of the guys started to laugh.

“I don’t care!” Shaun ripped his arm out of Jesse’s grasp and drove his shoulder into the door. “Goddamnit! Motherfucking shit! I’ll find you, you motherfucker! And I’ll gouge your fucking eyes out too when I do! Fuck you! Argh!”

The door burst open and Shaun stumbled back. He fell over his case and hit the ground with a grunt of surprise. The guy from before stood on the threshold. He had a cellphone in his hand.

“I’m five seconds from calling the cops.”

Shaun leapt up and grabbed his case and amp. “Fuck you,” he snarled as he stormed past Jesse.

Jesse looked pleadingly at the man. “I’m so sorry.”

“Just go,” the guy sighed.

Jesse scrambled to follow his boyfriend.

Shaun was back at the Mustang. He stood in front of the trunk with his guitar on one side and his amp on the other. His whole body trembled with anger.

Jesse pulled out his phone. “I’m calling Gretchen.”

Gretchen was five minutes away and she laughed when Jesse explained the situation.

“You idiots shouldn’t have gone off on your own,” she chuckled. “Just sit tight. We’ll be there in a minute and we’ll figure something out.”

Jesse sighed. “Thanks, Gretchen. See you soon.” He hung up and turned to Shaun. “They’re right around the corner. She’s coming up with a plan. Just stay calm.”

Shaun had his eyes closed tight. He was breathing slowly.

Jesse chewed his lip as he watched Shaun’s body vibrate with tension. He didn’t know how they’d possibly get in now, but he trusted Gretchen to come up with something.

Five minutes later, Harry’s GMC rolled in the parking lot, followed closely by the Nissan. Jesse watched as both vehicles found spots.

Gretchen appeared between the cars. She had Ben by the wrist. Jesse waved at them. “Shaun, they’re here.”

Shaun grumbled unintelligibly.

Jesse sighed.

“Jesus Christ, I don’t know how either of you survived before I came into your lives,” Gretchen said smugly as they approached. She dropped Ben’s wrist and planted her hands on her hips. “So you pissed off the bouncer. Great job, retard.”

Shaun spun around. “And what’s your genius plan? Do you have some black magic up that sleeve of yours?”

Gretchen gave him a bored look. “Way simpler than black magic. It’s an old trick Angela and I would play with our older cousin when she visited during summer break. She was in college. She was legal. But we were high schoolers.” Gretchen pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her handbag and lit up. She passed it to Shaun, and he took it without comment. “She goes in first, gets a drink, flirts with the bartender, and dances with a couple guys for an hour. The whole time we’re waiting around the corner at the coffee shop. When it’s time, we walk down the street and wait on the curb.” Gretchen lit her own cigarette and took a drag. “Then she comes out and gets us. We walk right past the bouncer. He doesn’t check our IDs. He doesn’t blink twice.”

“We don’t have an hour,” Shaun hissed. He puffed his cigarette aggressively. “We’re supposed to be in there. Now.”

Harry walked up behind Ben and patted him on the shoulder. “What’s the hold up.”

“He pissed off the bouncer,” Ben murmured over his shoulder.

“Oh.”

“Relax.” Gretchen let a trail of smoke slide through her parted lips. “Me, Ben, and Harry are going in the back. Harry will take your stuff inside.”

Shaun blew smoke at her. “Then?”

“Then, you and Jesse go around front and wait. Pretend your checking your phone or something, Jess.”

Jesse nodded.

“Harry will come get you,” Gretchen said. “Just act cool. Slip through the bar and find us in the back. Sneaky, but simple.”

Shaun sucked down the last of his cigarette and flicked it over Gretchen’s shoulder. She glared at him. “Better than packing up and going home, I guess,” he grumbled. “Let’s do it.”

***

“Fucking bastard better be here soon,” Shaun muttered as he paced the sidewalk. Up and down. Over and over. They were standing on the corner, ten yards from the front of the Iron House. There was a large crowd of people waiting to get in and a short, Hispanic guy was guarding the door. He had dark sunglasses and fitted black t-shirt that showed off his rippling muscles. He checked ID as patrons approached the door. The line moved slowly, but it was moving.

Jesse had his phone clutched in his hand. Nobody had said to wait for a text, but he was hoping he’d get one. It was 9:20.

“Fuck me.” Shaun stopped in his tracks. “There he is.”

Jesse turned and saw Harry next to the bouncer, tall, shaved, handsome. He held up a hand and Shaun lurched into action. He stalked toward the club. Jesse stumbled to keep up.

As they got closer to the door, the bouncer assessed them with a shaded stare.

“There you guys are. I was hoping you’d make it before the show,” Harry said, throwing an arm around Shaun. He beckoned Jesse with a hand and Jesse hurried to his side. “I went ahead and ordered everyone a round. Hope that’s okay.”

“I don’t give a shit,” Shaun growled, but allowed Harry to manhandle him into the building. Jesse followed hot on his heels.

The bouncer said nothing. He turned away and the three of them hustled inside.

The Iron House was a big open room with a balcony overlooking a large stage at the back. The bar to the right was jammed with people. A rowdy group of men were having a loud and exuberant drinking contest at the end of the counter. People around them watched with amusement. The balcony to the left was equally crowded. Two girls hung over the railing shaking their goods to the onlookers below. The music was loud. The lights were dim. The floor was sticky with spilled beer. It was a normal bar.

Harry pulled them into an alcove off the entrance. “See that door through there?” he asked Shaun, pointing toward the bar.

Shaun turned his head.

“Go through there. There’s bathrooms to the right but keep going. The stage entrance is at the end of the hall.”

Shaun nodded. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Shaun glanced at Jesse. “See you after the show.” He looked deeply into Jesse’s eyes, trying to convey some deep, untouchable emotion.

Jesse lightly touched his hand. “Love you,” he mouthed.

Shaun’s eyes burned. He turned and swept away.

“Uh… Are you guys dating?” Harry asked suddenly. He looked confused.

Jesse snorted. “Nobody told you?”

“I’m always the last to know,” Harry pouted.

***

Gretchen’s camera was already set up, so Jesse and Harry hunkered down at the back of the crowd. They chatted pleasantly while they waited for the show to begin.

A beautiful black girl with purple and black dreads glided past. “Hey, Harry,” she called sweetly.

“Precious.” Harry grinned after her.

The girl slipped away into the crowd.

“That girl sucks dick like nobody’s business,” he said to Jesse. “I mean, like, she could probably open a business sucking dick. If you know what I mean.”

Jesse laughed. “Do they give loans to start your own brothel?”

“They should.” The lights began to dim, and a smattering of cheers and enthusiastic whistles sounded from the audience. Harry nudged Jesse in the ribs. “Show’s starting.”

A nervous anticipation bubbled in Jesse’s stomach. People around them whispered excitedly as the house music faded and the stage lights came on. The curtains drew back and there was a round of applause.

Shaun stood center stage with his head down. His dark wavy hair curtained his face. Gretchen was to the right and Ben stood behind him and to the left. They watched Shaun closely for his cue.

Shaun lifted his head and Jesse felt his heart skip a beat. He swore Shaun was staring straight at him. He grabbed the mic and pulled it close. “We’re Defaced,” he growled. Then he let go of the mic and tore into his guitar with a wildly intricate riff. The notes soared dramatically in pitch. He hung on the last note and leaned on the whammy bar.

The crowd raised their arms and yelled with anticipation as Shaun’s crazy energy rolled off the stage and infected their bodies. Harry flashed the camera multiple times.

“Play that song, Gretchen,” Shaun growled into the mic. He let off the note and started again, a song this time.

The band fell in sync and the song took off without a hitch. The audience was under a spell. Jesse watched in fascination as they bobbed and swayed with the melody. They waved their arms, they yelled and cheered. A girl climbed up on her man’s shoulders and called out enthusiastically.

First love, so tender and sweet

She seduced me into her bed without missing a beat

I pulled out but not far enough, she taught me that it just takes but once

To make a lasting mistake I must bear in silence

Fuck you, bitch, for your absence

The little bastard looks just like me anyway

And Guess what? I think I’ll let him stay

Because no matter how I look at it

I ended up loving our motherfucking kid

He’s mine now bitch, we don’t need your fucking shit

Shaun’s voice was entrancing. It had an angry, dangerous tone tonight that scared Jesse. He was touched by the song, however. He watched Shaun stalk across the stage with confidence. His domineering presence demanded attention. He tossed his hair around, he moved his hips sensuously with his guitar, he poured sweat, but it was incredibly sexy to watch. Shaun’s strong, muscled arms glistened with perspiration. Jesse noticed a group of females under the stage. They stretched their arms for Shaun and at one point, he reached out to them and touched their fingers. The girls went wild with excitement.

Defaced performed five songs and the crowd pulsed with a tangible energy through the whole set. Harry took hundreds of pictures of the band and the gathered audience. When the music stopped, Shaun loomed over the mic.

“See ya next time, motherfuckers,” he snarled. He grinned meanly then flashed everyone the finger. People began to laugh and cheer. Shaun and the rest of the band walked off stage. A roar of applause followed them off.

“I think that went well,” Harry said cheerfully.

Jesse grinned.

***

There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. There was an afterparty and everyone was going.

“This place is shitty,” Shaun grumbled as they parked across the street from the party. It was almost two in the morning and they were in Houston again. It had been a forty-minute drive from the Iron House. Gretchen had given Jesse the address in case they got separated and sure enough, the Nissan and the GMC had disappeared in their rearview mirror somewhere along the way.

They weren’t in the nicest part of town. They were parked in front of a convenience store. The orange sign overhead flickered intermittently. Trash spilled out of the garbage can in front and littered the sidewalk. There was a grocery cart across the street filled with black bags of clothes and a dog endlessly barked in the distance.

The party was in the house across from the store. Tall, brick, three stories high, it was wedged between a row of houses that looked just like it. All the windows were lit up and Jesse could see people inside, drinking, talking, enjoying the music. “Are we going in?”

“I’m waiting for Gretchen,” Shaun grumbled.

“Maybe we should have rode with Ben,” Jesse said with a chuckle.

“No. I’m sick to death of them making puppy dog eyes at each other.”

Jesse rubbed his thigh warmly. “Remember what I said last night, babe. Leave it alone.”

Shaun grit his teeth. “You know what? I don’t need her.” He shut the car off and opened the door. “C’mon.”

They crossed the street and walked up to the house. There were stairs to the front door. Shaun stopped Jesse with an arm before he could go up.

“Ready for this?” he asked.

Jesse took a deep breath. “I guess.”

Shaun looked at him sharply. “Remember what I said. Don’t start anything. No matter what.”

Jesse nodded.

With a sigh, Shaun started up the stairs and Jesse fell in step behind him. The front door opened to a narrow corridor with a staircase to the second floor. There was an entrance at the back that led into the kitchen. The living room was to their right and as the door clicked shut behind them, two girls ran out of the noisy room and up the stairs, giggling. Shaun firmed his jaw and stepped into the room. Jesse trailed after shyly.

The couch was pushed against the fireplace. There were six more girls squeezed together sharing a bong. There were a lot of girls in the room. There were two more dancing on the coffee table in front of the picture window. Three more sat below them, sharing a bottle of vodka. Another pushed past them as they stood crowding the entrance.

There were men in the room, as well. There was a group of loud guys talking by the stereo. More of them were ogling the girls on the couch. A few more were watching TV in the back, drinking quietly.

“That’s Miguel,” Shaun said nodding to the back corner of the room. There was another smaller couch with two guys, one was black with dreads and the other had lighter, tawny skin and goatee. Jesse recognized them from the show. He recognized the other two standing next to them, talking in low voices. They were from the third band. Shaun started across the room and Jesse hurried to catch up.

“Shaun,” said the goatee guy on the couch. He stood up and stretched out a hand.

Shaun shook it firmly. “Hey, Miguel. Good show tonight.”

“You as well.”

Shaun smiled. “This is a friend of mine. We went to high school together.” He drew Jesse closer.

“Hi,” Jesse said. He shook Miguel’s hand when it was offered. “I was in the audience. You guys are really good.”

Miguel smiled. “Thank you.” He gestured behind him at the black guy on the couch. “This is my drummer. Andy.”

“Hi.” Jesse waved. Andy nodded politely.

“Shaun, have you met Tim and Russ yet?”

The heavyset guy stepped forward. “Hey. Russ,” he said. He and Shaun exchanged a fist bump.

The tall, slender guy in the back held up a hand. “Tim from Hangnail. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m new,” Shaun said. “I’m trying to meet everyone. My drummer said it was a good idea.”

“You didn’t look like a newbie, shit,” Russ snorted. “I drank so much the night before my first show I had alcohol poisoning. I had the runs so goddamn bad I fucking shit myself on stage. I barely finished the set before it started leaking down my boot.”

Shaun chuckled. “I thought puking gas station pizza was bad.”

Jesse listened to the boys talk shop for a while. Gretchen, Ben, and Harry drifted in the door not long after they arrived. Gretchen waved at him but was swept away in the rush of the party. Andy disappeared at one point and came back with beers for everyone. Tim produced a baggie of blunts and passed them around. Shaun and Jesse got their own to share.

People danced and sang to the music. There were a hundred different conversations going on at once. Drinks were passed around and more than one was spilled in the process. The girls on the couch were pairing off with men, one after another, but more women flowed into the room from other parts of the house. Jesse had the sleezy feeling they were being recycled up there.

“Oh my god!” Someone shoved Jesse from behind. He stumbled and sloshed beer down his t-shirt as a high-pitched whine came from behind him. “I’ve been looking for you all night.”

Jesse turned; his eyes narrowed.

It was Nicky. She had her arms around Shaun’s neck and her body plastered to his side.

“Oh fuck. It’s you.” Shaun leaned away with a look of disgust.

Nicky beamed up at him. “It’s me,” she sang. “Did you miss me, cutie?”

“Not really,” Shaun grumbled. He shrugged her off. “I’m talking to my friends. Fuck off.”

Nicky blinked at him in surprise. “But—”

“Hey, Nicky, what did you…oh, hey,” another girl, a blonde with too much makeup stepped into the circle. Jesse recognized her from Harry’s party. She looked between Nicky and Shaun and slowly, a smile blossomed on her painted face. “You found that guy you were looking for.”

“Here he is.” Nicky grabbed onto Shaun again. “Isn’t he sexy?”

Andy chuckled from the couch. He took his phone out of his pocket and flipped through it boredly. Tim and Russ passed a blunt between them. Miguel watched with an unreadable expression. Nobody cared. Nobody was going to do anything.

“Get off,” Shaun huffed. He pushed Nicky again, using a bit of force this time, but Nicky was resilient. Her eyes gleamed with determination. The additional haze of intoxication was apparent.

“I’m super sorry about what happened last time,” Nicky said sweetly. “I had a feeling you might have a bad trip. That’s why I didn’t take mine. I was trying to protect you.”

Shaun sneered.

“Hey, Nicky, I’m gonna grab Luke, okay?” the blonde said to Nicky. She squeezed her warmly on the shoulder and then hurried away.

Nicky gazed up at Shaun adoringly. “Let me make it up to you. Let me get your number.” She bit her lip coyly. “Let’s go out sometime.”

“I don’t want to.” Shaun bared his teeth at her. “And I don’t have a phone. I told you that.”

Nicky released her lip. “Oh yeah.”

Jesse looked between them. He was angry. He wanted to tear Nicky’s arms off.

“Baby…” Nicky did it again! She reached for Shaun, but he viciously slapped her away.

“Go!”

Nicky’s eyes filled with tears. “Why are you being so unfair? You didn’t even give me a chance.” She stepped closer and slid an arm around Shaun’s narrow waist. “C’mon. Let’s be friends.”

The blonde chick returned with a man in tow. He was slim with a beanie and a tattoo of a money symbol under his right eye. His face lit up when he saw Shaun. “You’re that guy from Defaced! I saw you at the Foundry on the Fourth! You fucking rock, man. I’m following you on Instagram.”

Shaun ground his teeth together. “That’s great.”

“I like that one song you do, about cutting motherfuckers that get in your way. When are you gonna record? I’d buy that shit in a heartbeat.”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Screw you, Luke. I’m talking to Shaunie.” Nicky slipped her other arm around him and hugged him tight. “We’re going on a date.”

Shaun tipped his head back and groaned with frustration. Tim and Russ snickered in the background.

Jesse finally lost his patience. He snapped. “Can’t you tell he doesn’t want you?” Everyone looked at him. He was trembling with fury. He couldn’t stop himself. “You’re all over him. How many times does he have to shove you off before you get the hint?”

Silence.

Shaun caught Jesse’s eyes. He shook his head slowly. His stare was hard with anger and betrayal, but Jesse was burning up from the inside out. He couldn’t watch this anymore.

“Get off him,” he said heatedly. “He’s asked you several times now. Please remove your hands.”

Nicky’s arms dropped to her sides. She turned to Jesse with a look of utter contempt. “And who the fuck are you?”

“Jesse,” Shaun hissed. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Jesse?” Nicky’s lip curled slowly. There was a flash of recognition in her dark eyes and Jesse licked his lips in nervous anticipation. A huge grin stretched across her face. “You mean, Jesse your girlfriend?”

Shaun’s face darkened as Nicky started to laugh.

“Holy shit, you are gay!” She started to cackle.

“Goddamnit, Jesse!” Shaun hissed.

The guy, Luke, looked totally confused, but the blonde girl covered her mouth and started to giggle as well.

“What’s she talking about Shaun?” Miguel asked as his dark eyebrows climbed into his hairline.

Shaun whirled on Jesse, his nostrils flared, his hands balled into fists. Jesse didn’t know what to do. An uncomfortable gut-twisting sensation grew in the pit of his belly. He felt like he was going to vomit. Without thinking, Jesse turned and ran out of the room, the sounds of laughter following him out to the hall. He shoved the front door open, his heart pounding double time in his chest, and scurried down the stairs.

“Jesse!” Jesse looked wildly over his shoulder as he hit the last stair. Shaun stood at the top. He was stalking after him. “Come the fuck back here!” he roared.

Panicked, Jesse scrambled down the sidewalk. He stopped across from the convenience store and his eyes zeroed in on the Mustang. He wasn’t thinking. His heart was in his throat. He looked both ways, but no one was coming. He slipped between the cars along the curb and bolted across the street. Before he could reach the other side though strong arms wrapped around his middle and pinned his arms to his sides. He was lifted clean off his feet.

“Shaun! No!”

Shaun gripped him tight to his chest. He nuzzled his lips against Jesse’s ear and hissed. “Why the fuck did you just do that? You did exactly what I told you not to do!!!”

Jesse kicked his legs helplessly as Shaun carried him down the sidewalk. He whimpered in pain; Shaun’s arms were bruising his ribs. As they walked by the convenience store, a black woman stuck her head out the door.

She watched them suspiciously as they passed. “Everything alright?”

“Yep! Just taking this little bitch home for the night,” Shaun called out merrily. “Have a good one!”

The black lady frowned. She ducked back into the store.

Shaun held Jesse with one arm while he unlocked and then opened the car. He tossed Jesse inside and slammed the door.

Jesse sobbed hysterically as Shaun rounded the car. When he got in; his jaw clenched tightly with incredible strain.

“You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?” Jesse whimpered.

Shaun smashed the steering wheel with his fist. “I can’t believe you just outted me!” He smashed his fist into the steering wheel over and over, so hard, the whole car shook violently from the force. “You did it again! Again! You motherfucking idiot!” He started the car and shifted into reverse. He punched the gas and the car jolted back.

THUNK

They lurched forward as the car came to an abrupt halt. Jesse covered his face and groaned over the sound of glass pinging off the asphalt. Shaun jerked and yanked aggressively on the wheel.

“Motherfucker! Goddamnit!”

Jesse continued to sob as Shaun twisted the wheel all the way to the left, forced the gearshift into drive and then accelerated. They clipped the bumper in front of them as they lurched away from the curb. Jesse looked over his shoulder, out the back window at the car behind them. The bumper was crushed and the headlight on the driver’s side was shattered.

“Shaun…we can’t leave the scene of an accident.”

“What accident?” Shaun snapped.

Jesse hid his face.

Shaun fell into silence. Jesse didn’t know what to say, so he let him stew. Slowly, the tears dried on his cheeks as he gazed out the window at the passing buildings and homes. It was five in the morning and the city was waking up. They passed metro buses and delivery trucks. It was still dark, but sunlight kissed the horizon with deep purples and blues. They got on the highway and Shaun dramatically increased their speed. There were a few early commuters on the road, but Shaun weaved around them effortlessly.

“I’m sorry, Shaun. I—”

“I don’t understand how you could fuck up so badly,” Shaun said calmly.

Jesse hung his head. His ribs ached from the rough treatment. His head swam from the alcohol. He was starting to get hungry again and the deep, gnawing feeling increased his nausea.

“I told you. I fucking told you to let me handle it,” Shaun hissed. “And what did you do? You jumped in. You said something. You fucking ruined everything I’ve been working for. You did it in like thirty seconds, too. Were you planning this? Is this want you wanted Jesse? To make a fool of me?”

“Of course it wasn’t!” Jesse cried. “Shaun, I’m—"

“I don’t care if you’re sorry!” Shaun bellowed.

Jesse winced. “I just…I mean, I—”

“Shut up!”

Jesse pressed his lips together.

Shaun laughed bitterly as the car sped up again. Jesse checked the dashboard. They were going over a hundred.

“Shaun. Slow down—”

“I told you to be quiet!”

Tears rolled down Jesse’s cheeks as he gazed pitifully at his boyfriend.

“The jokes always on me,” Shaun muttered. “No matter what I do, everyone ends up laughing at me!”

The speedometer reached max velocity. They were going a hundred and forty miles an hour. The car trembled and shook below them.

“We’re going too fast,” Jesse whined. Taillights appeared in the distance. It was a huge semi-truck and the whole thing was lit up like a Christmas tree. They approached at an incredible speed and Jesse grabbed the door handle. “Oh my god….”

“You blew it,” Shaun ranted. “You fucking blew it!”

Jesse watched through his tears as the semi got closer. They were coming up so fast.

“Everyone’s going to know now,” Shaun hissed. “Everyone in the fucking world’s going to know what a huge faggot I am!” He turned the wheel aggressively and swung out into the far-left lane seconds before they hit the semi in front of them. “This guy’s a faggot too!” he shouted. “Get the fuck out of my way, faggot!” As they blew past the semitruck, Shaun swerved back into the middle lane. The car veered; the tires screeched. “Ah, fuck!” Shaun overcorrected and the back of the Mustang fishtailed like crazy.

Jesse screamed as the car began to spin and the headlights of the semi filled the car with a brilliant light. He was totally blinded, and he threw hands over his face and covered his eyes. Oh god… This was it… Jesse curled into himself and braced for impact.

They were going to die.

SMASH.

In an instant, everything went black…