The Freshmen - 30. Chapter 30

September 15, 2004

Harvard University

Cambridge, MA

Will

“What’s going on?” Poster asked lazily as he walked out of his room wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He’d finally rolled out of bed. While he’d been sleeping, the rest of us had been moving our shit from one room to the other.

“Niko and Scotty switched with Thor and me,” I told him. “We did that in exchange for giving up our time in the single.”

“No one was going to ask me about it?” he asked, being all pissy.

“You weren’t up, and the rest of us were good with it,” Niko said.

“I can’t believe you did this, changed fucking everything,” he said, and got really agitated. “I am not okay with this.”

“Alright,” I said. “You can have your two months in the single, then you can have two months in the big room with me.”

“Very fucking funny,” he said.

“That’s the plan,” Thor said authoritatively.

“That is not the plan,” he spat back.

“Poster, what would make you happy?” I asked. “You want more time in the single? You want less time, and then you can rotate with us?”

“I’ll fucking think about it,” he said. “I’m going to get food.”

We watched him leave, all of us pretty amazed at how he was acting. “Dude’s a douche,” Scotty said.

“I don’t get it,” I said. “I figured he’d be fucking thrilled to have more time in the single, and I assumed he’d be even happier not sharing a room with me.”

“Let’s just finish moving our stuff,” Niko said. “If he still has his panties in a wad, then we’ll figure something out.”

“You mean like tossing him out on his ass?” Thor asked.

“We’ll try for a more diplomatic option first,” I said. “I’m going to get cleaned up then I’m going shopping.”

“That’s awesome,” Thor said.

“Make your lists,” I said to Scotty, Thor, and Niko. I got ready, making sure I looked as mature as possible since I’d undoubtedly get carded. With my appearance taken care of, I started going through my stuff and taking out the most valuable things I had with me.

“What are you doing?” Thor asked.

“This is the shit I’m going to give to Wade to store for me,” I said.

He picked up my IWC watch and admired it. “Nice,” he said. “Hey, can you lock up some shit for me too?”

“Sure,” I said. He pulled out a sleek bag that looked like the kind of thing you’d put toiletries in, took out a couple of things, then handed the bag to me.

“Thanks,” he said.

“What’s in here?” I asked. He looked at me strangely. “If you put something in someone else’s safe, you want to have a record.”

“I trust you,” he said, which stunned me since we’d only known each other for a day.

“That is really flattering,” I said sincerely. “I trust you too, but at the same time, I don’t want something to get lost and then we don’t know what happened to it.” I pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. “I’ll inventory your stuff, and you can do the same for mine.”

The things we’d brought with us were mostly the same: watches, pens, and jewelry. The jewelry consisted of necklaces, rings, tie bars/pins, and cufflinks. We had finished detailing everything when he stopped and pulled off the necklace that he was wearing. “Put that in the bag too.”

“It’s a nice necklace, but why is it valuable?” I asked. It was gold with an emerald pendant attached to it.

“That emerald was part of my grandmother’s engagement ring,” he said. “She left it to me when she died.”

“That’s amazing,” I said. “No wonder you don’t want to lose it.”

“Call me when you get back and I’ll help you carry shit up,” he said.

“I’ll do that,” I said, then took the Segway to Wade’s house. It was cool, but it took some getting used to. I only almost fell on my ass once on the ride over there. I walked into their house and headed for the kitchen, looking for Rosa.

“You are back!” she said, speaking Spanish. “I will make you some food.”

“I’ve got some errands to run, so don’t worry about it,” I replied in that language. It was one of our bonds, and useful since not everyone was fluent enough to understand us.

“I heard about what happened with Mr. Jeremy,” she said, and shook her head sadly. “I do not blame you for what you did. He has always been that way, where he pushes people just a little too far.”

“I was enjoying myself last night and I thought about how glad I was that he wasn’t there,” I told her. “Everyone probably thinks I’m agonizing over this, but I’m actually happy he’s out of my life.”

“Do you think you will be able to repair the damage to your relationship?” she asked. Her tone was so sympathetic and caring that I didn’t give her a smart-ass answer about how there was no relationship to repair.

“I don’t know, but I do know that if it happens, it’s going to have to be him that puts in the effort,” I said, then got a little riled up. “He’s going to tell me that he’s on some new drugs, and that he was mentally unbalanced and that’s why he was such a douche.”

“I would think that is part of it,” she said cautiously.

“But it’s not all of it,” I said. “He’s going to have to convince me that he’s emotionally stable, which will be tough. Then he’s going to have a bigger challenge to convince me that he’s actually changed and won’t be a dick to me in the future.”

She thought about that for a couple of seconds. “I do not think you will have to worry about dealing with him for a while.” I looked at her, digesting that she’d all but admitted that might be impossible for JJ to do, then I burst out laughing. She joined me, and we were standing there cracking up when Matt strolled into the kitchen.

“You guys are having fun,” he said, then walked over and put his arm around my shoulders. “What’s up?”

“I’ve got some stuff to put in your safe, and then I have to go shopping,” I told him.

“Come on,” he said, and led me into the office. He opened the safe then I handed him the two bags with stuff in them. “You brought a lot with you.”

“This bag is Thor’s,” I said, pointing to the one he’d given me. “I need to make a copy of this.” I handed him the paper with the list of Thor’s items on it.

“No problem,” he said. He locked up the safe, then went over to the copy machine and zipped off a copy.

“Hang on to that for me, will you?” I asked, handing him the original. “I just don’t want to end up with some big misunderstanding if he says something is in there and it’s not.”

“Doesn’t seem like the kind of dude who would do that,” Matt said as he put it on the desk.

“I agree, but I just want to be sure.” I responded.

He nodded. “I’m going to let Wade file it, because if I do, I won’t remember where I put it.”

I laughed at that. “Hey, will you go with me?”

“Where are we going?” he asked cautiously.

“The liquor store and to a store where I can buy a fan,” I told him.

“Let’s take your new car,” he said, smiling broadly. “You will love it.”

“Let’s go,” I said, matching his enthusiasm. I got in and spent a few minutes getting the seat, steering wheel, and mirrors adjusted. I drove off and was impressed with how much power the Porsche had, and how nimble it still managed to feel despite the fact that it was this hulking SUV. “I need to find out if there’s a surfing beach near here.”

“I checked on that for you,” Matt said. I looked away from the road briefly in surprise. “Whitecrest Beach.”

“Dude, thank you so much!” I said. “Niko wants to go surfing, and I promised him that I’d take him.”

“Your roommates are hot,” he said, cracking me up. “What’s their deal?”

I told him all about each of them, then told him about the room drama an hour ago. “He needs to not be such a bitch,” Matt said, referring to Poster.

“We’ll see if he can pull that off,” I said skeptically.

“Sounds like this Thor guy maneuvered things so you’re sharing a room with him,” Matt said suggestively.

“You think he wants to fuck me?” I asked, totally shocked.

“Last time you were here you told me that everyone wants to fuck you,” he said, giving me shit. That was when I was going to meet Peter Thiel and invest in Facebook. We got to the liquor store and as we went in, based on the looks I got, I was glad Matt was with me. These people scrutinized me so intently that it was likely they’d not only not accept my fake ID, they’d confiscate it as well. As we wheeled a cart around the store grabbing bottles of alcohol, I thought about what Matt had said.

“I’m not getting that vibe from him,” I said, referring to Thor. “I think he’s kind of like Ryan Grafton.”

“Well, you fucked him,” he said.

“I did do that, didn’t I?” I asked, then laughed. Matt gave me an odd look as I filled the cart up.

“Dude, did you join a frat?” he asked. “It’s like you’re buying enough liquor to have a rush party.”

“All this booze does two things for me,” I said. He looked at me intently as if to demand that I go on. “It makes me popular with straight guys, and it gets them drunk enough that I can molest them.”

“Creep,” he said. “Better let me pay for this.” It was cool since he’d picked up on the same dynamic in the store that I had.

“I’ll pay you back,” I promised. He just gave me a weird look and shook his head. “So now all I need is a fan.”

“Target,” Matt said.

“I’ve never been in a Target before,” I mused.

“You’ve never been in a Target?” he asked, repeating my words. I gave him a dirty look, but he just started chuckling.

“No,” I said in a bitchy way. He was making me feel like I was as big of a snob as JJ. “Asshole.” He laughed at me, being a total dickhead. We loaded all the alcohol into the Porsche then he directed me to a nearby Target.

Matt led me into Target and it was kind of interesting, even if it was pretty lowbrow. He strolled through the store with a purpose, while I was looking around at all the stuff. “Welcome to the fans,” he said, pointing at the box fans. I spent about five minutes looking at them, trying to figure out which one was best, then gave up and just picked the most expensive one.

“This place is convenient, but pretty fucking tacky,” I said as we walked out the door after paying the bill.

“You want to see tacky, try going to WalMart,” he said.

“I’ll pass,” I said. “Can you drop me off by the dorm with this stuff?”

“I can,” he agreed. That meant he took over driving my awesome SUV. I called Thor to get some help, so when we pulled up, he and Niko were there to grab the boxes of liquor.

“Dude, this is golden!” Niko said excitedly.

“Thanks for going with me, and for buying us a shitload of booze,” I said to Matt. Niko and Thor thanked him as well.

“You are welcome,” he said. “Come over later and pick up your Segway.”

“Done,” I promised, then followed Niko and Thor back to Weld. “Did Poster come back?”

“No,” Niko said. “It’s only been a couple of hours.” We got into the elevator with our boxes of booze and the fan from Target. “He’s just the kind of douche to make this into a big deal.”

My mind raced at that. “That means we have to hide all the alcohol in our rooms.”

“Why?” Thor asked.

“Because if he comes back with our proctor, and the proctor sees all this shit, he’ll probably confiscate it and we’ll have some sort of consequences,” I said.

“What can they do?” Thor asked.

“Kick us out of here,” I said. “Even if they don’t go that far, I’d like to avoid having some big disciplinary stain on my record before school even starts.”

Niko and Thor laughed at that. “Yeah, that won’t go over well at home,” Niko said. “I might even lose one of my credit cards.”

We walked into the suite, split up the booze, and hid it in our rooms. “I have to walk back and get my Segway.”

“Want some company?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said. We told Niko where we were going then left Weld. “Let’s walk down to the river first.”

“I can do that,” he said. We stopped at a convenience store to get sodas, then strolled down JFK Street until we got to the river.

“You smoke pot?” I asked.

“I smoke pot in the fall semester, not in the spring,” he said, grinning. “I play baseball in the spring so I’m more likely to be tested.”

“That’s really good news for you,” I said. We headed off the path and into a stand of trees, where I pulled out my dugout, loaded it, then passed it to him. We both took about three hits, then he started laughing.

“This is some good weed,” he said.

“We grow it on our own land,” I said. “My cousin, John–he’s Marie’s brother–he calls it Escorial Dank.”

“Escorial?” he asked. “What the fuck is that?”

“That’s the name of our house,” I said.

“Dude, I’m rich, but not rich enough that our house has a name,” he said, cracking me up.

“So how did your family get so loaded?” I asked him.

“3M,” he said. “My mom’s grandfather invested $200,000 into 3M in the early 1900s and made a fortune on it. What about you?”

“Cool,” I said. “My grandfather is Stefan Schluter.” I couldn’t help but smile when I thought of Stef.

“Holy shit! I don’t know why I didn’t connect your last name to him,” Thor said. “What’s he like?”

“He is the most interesting, funny, charming, fashionable, and intelligent man you will ever meet,” I said proudly. “My father is part of their venture capital firm, and he also is the Chairman of Triton Electronics.”

“I’ll probably get to meet them,” he mused.

“You will, and pretty soon too,” I said. “I was kind of surprised they didn’t come out with Marie and me, so that means they’ll be checking up on us soon, probably this weekend.”

“I think my parents will end up doing the same thing,” he said.

“We should plan something for all of them,” I said mischievously. “We can put them all together and let the drama unfold.”

“Like I need that kind of stress in my life just before school starts,” he said, shaking his head. “What’s that ring on your finger, the one that just turned purple?”

“My boyfriend gave it to me,” I said. “It’s a mood ring.”

“Seriously?” he asked. I took it off and handed it to him; it was weird in the extreme when he put it on. “Why’s it lavender?”

“Because you’re happy,” I said. He gave it back to me before I lost my mind. It was amazing how personal this ring was. It was part of Travis and me, and watching someone else put it on almost made me feel like I was cheating.

“So this is pretty serious, eh?” he asked.

“It’s very serious,” I said. I told him all about Travis and our history together. “He gave me this ring and asked me to marry him in four years.”

“Fuck, that is a big deal,” he said.

“There were a few times I thought about staying in California for school, mostly because of him,” I said, smiling when I thought about Travis. “Are you with anyone?”

He shrugged. “I was seeing someone, but it wasn’t serious, so when I came here it ended.” I looked at him and could read him well enough already to know that he had much stronger feelings for this chick than he was letting on. “Let’s go get your Segway then go see what Poster decided.”

“It was such an awesome solution, but I’ll bet he fucks it up just to be a little bitch,” I said, with stoned bitterness.

“That’s my guess,” he said. “We’ll deal with it.”

We got to Wade’s house pretty quickly and found him in his office. “What is this?” he asked after he greeted us. He was holding out the paper listing Thor’s items that went into the safe.

“Thor stored some stuff in your safe, and that’s a list of what he put in,” I said.

“I hope that’s alright,” Thor said nervously.

“It’s just fine,” Wade said, smiling in his patrician way. “Let me give you my phone number. That way if you need something and Will’s not around, you can call me.”

“Thanks,” he said, and they swapped numbers. We left and I let Thor ride the Segway while I trotted along next to him. We were at a stoplight when my phone rang. “Niko,” I said to Thor as I answered the phone.

“You guys need to get back here,” Niko said and sounded panicked.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Poster called his parents and they called our proctor and ripped him a new asshole about how badly we treated him,” Niko said. “When Poster came back, Scotty tried to punch him.”

“Fuck,” I uttered.

“So Poster’s in his room, we’re in our room, and the proctor is in the main room waiting for the Resident Dean, who’s coming over to talk to all of us,” Niko said.

“We’ll be there in probably five minutes or less,” I said, then took off running. I ran so fast Thor couldn’t keep up with me on the Segway.

We had to pause to wait for the elevator, so while I was panting I tried to tell Thor what Niko had said. “That guy is such an asshole,” Thor said, referring to Poster. “Now that he’s done that, he cannot live with us.”

That response wasn’t what I expected. “I kind of figured we’d grovel a bit and then Poster would feel like he defeated us, then we’d just go back to normal.”

“If Scotty tried to punch him, it’s over,” Thor said. I thought about it, then nodded in agreement.

We walked into the main room to find our proctor there, looking annoyed. His name was Stuart and he was a total dork. He was a grad student, so that put his age at around 23. He was about 5’9” tall, had light curly brown hair, and seemed to have no muscle tone at all. “We have a situation.”

“So I heard,” I said. “What’s happening?”

“The Resident Dean is on his way over, then he’s going to ask everyone what their deal is, and after that he’ll figure out how to calm your asses down,” he said.

“My ass is very calm,” I said, then winked at him. “Right now.” Thor laughed, while Stuart rolled his eyes.

There was a knock on the door, then it opened to reveal a handsome guy who was probably in his forties. His suit looked like it was from Britain and made him seem pretty dapper. He walked in and headed straight to Thor. “I’m Mark Garfield, the Resident Dean,” he said, and shook Thor’s hand then mine. Stuart went to get Niko, Scotty, and Poster.

Garfield introduced himself to each of them as they came into the room, and his calm, polite demeanor considerably reduced the tension in the room. “Would you like to have a seat?” I asked politely.

“Thanks,” he said, so we all grabbed chairs and formed a loose circle. “Can you tell me what happened?”

I decided to take the initiative and explained our plan for rooms, and how Poster had stormed out all pissed off. “I figured that when he got back, he would have had a chance to think about things and we could talk about it.”

“Right,” Poster said sarcastically.

“So then, instead of doing that, Poster called his daddy, who yelled at Stuart,” Scotty said, and was really pissed. “You’re a little fucking tattletale.”

“Let’s please try to keep our language civil,” the Dean said.

“Tell him that,” Scotty said, gesturing at Poster. “He came back and told me he wasn’t going to share a room with a faggot.” That statement stunned me on so many levels. First, I was furious that Poster would use a slur like that, but at the same time I was really touched that Scotty had stuck up for me.

“I didn’t mean it; I was just upset,” Poster said, idiotically admitting that he’d done that.

“Scotty,” I said, to get his attention. “Thanks for having my back.” He just nodded back at me in a very masculine way.

“It is clear that Shawn can no longer reside in this suite,” the Dean said, then turned to Poster. “By the time you pack up your things, I will have a new room assignment for you.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Poster said in a smarmy way, then vanished to pack up his shit.

“It was nice to meet you guys, even though it was under unpleasant circumstances,” the Dean said, and began to shake our hands.

“So that’s it?” I asked him, trying to keep my anger under control.

“I assumed that you would be happy to have this situation resolved,” he said, as his tone got firmer.

“That guy called me a faggot,” I said. “If I was black and he used the ‘N’ word, would you react the same way?”

“I think that’s a bit different,” he said.

“It’s no different at all,” I said. From his expression I could tell he understood I was like a bomb about to go off.

“I have a dilemma,” he said, in a way that made it seem like he was trying to cajole me. “I promised Mr. Post there would be no disciplinary action taken against his son.”

“You did that?” I asked. “That wasn’t your decision. He used an anti-gay slur about me.”

“I think it was very much my decision,” and now he was irritated with me.

“If you thought Mr. Post was bad, wait until you talk to my father,” I said, zeroing in on him. “I am sure he is way richer and way louder than Mr. Post.” I glanced at my suitemates and saw them trying not to laugh, and that steadied me a bit.

“If Shawn goes through some training, goes through our Safe Space programs, and at the same time it’s not posited as a disciplinary measure, would that make you happy?” he asked. I was impressed with what a good problem solver he was.

“That is acceptable,” I said, and smiled at him. He shook my hand, then left our room.

“You guys better not cause me a bunch of trouble this term,” Stuart said in an admonishing way.

“We’ll behave ourselves,” Thor said, like he was the purest and best-behaved boy in the whole world. Niko, Scotty, and I had to look away so we didn’t laugh our asses off.

An hour later, Poster moved out, and we celebrated by tapping into all the booze Matt had bought.