Retail Ninja - 3. Chapter 3

With the holiday season come and gone, Retail Ninja watched dutifully as the department leads rearranged and filled empty displays. New and exciting products arrived in order to bolster dwindling sales. Sales traffic slowed dramatically, and for good reason. Everyone was still munching on Christmas leftovers. It was an ideal time to work on projects for store betterment. Cleaning underneath the aisle shelving, checking for expired merchandise, and merchandising more or fewer rows on shelves to eliminate back stock.

The hero had his own projects to tend to as well. Between performing maintenance on the Basgocart and Swashbuckler, he added a few features that may come in handy in the future. The cleaning android seemed grateful for its new retractable vacuum nozzle to reach in nooks and crannies. After coiling a roll of tags and latching them onto his belt, he began his patrol of the store. Running along the rafters, he found no harm to be done.

At least until he saw Mike emerge from the office. Knowing the man, Retail Ninja knew the manager was anxious and distressed. Rappelling down, he landed soundly. “What’s going—”

“The owners sold.”

The news was unsettling. The store was changing hands. Many variables were in play. What would happen to the business? The employees? Keeping his cool, the hero asked, “What do we know, Mike?” He led the man back to the office, wanting to avoid the ever-lurking eavesdropping clerk.

“Not much yet. As far as I know, we’ll still be a supermarket. The new owner will be here tomorrow morning. I tried asking questions, but…” Mike sneered and shook his head. “It’s like they can’t talk about it.”

“Probably a non-disclosure agreement,” Retail Ninja assumed. “Until then, all we can do is run the place like we know how to. I’ll watch the meeting from above. I’m sure the owner will want to walk the store.”

Mike took a big, deep breath. “I don’t know what I did to deserve a hero like you.”

The reason why Retail Ninja watched over the store came to mind. He closed his eyes as he remembered the dark and rainy night ten years ago. Watching a villain try to rob the service counter was a haunting experience. Screams, yells, and a miasma of fear filled the checkout area. Back then, Retail Ninja was a mere man with high morals. He tried to sneak up and disarm the robber but was unsuccessful, earning a bullet in the thigh. As he lay bleeding, he watched the gunman leave with a bag of cash and a smirk.

Failure consumed him. From the moment he was carted away on a stretcher, a sense of determination fueled the desire to better himself. He had to be better. If he couldn’t, how would he save others? How would he protect the honorable code of shopping? It was a key concept he treasured; the art of exchanging goods with radiant positivity. Bodies come en masse to purchase products to feed and bolster their families. The store itself was a requirement in society. For someone to abuse and take it for granted… It was sacrilegious, in his opinion.

So he trained his body and mind to protect the store. It was a long and arduous process. A decade was spent honing his limbs, sense of balance, and management values. Three years in, he mastered the ability to be weightless. Five later, he could maintain his feet as anchor points. Running sideways and upside-down became second nature. Once he returned to the store, he surveyed every inch possible. Where the cameras were pointed, each department’s flaws, and the key figures in the store.

Reopening his eyes, Retail Ninja examined Mike. The man had been in charge since the hero had donned his mask. In the three years of claiming the store as his home, the ninja watched the manager grow. “Respectfully, Mike. I’m not here for you.” Shooting the tag printer upward, a stream of paper wrapped around a rafter beam. As he flew upward, the hero called out, “I’m here for the store!”

***

Retail Ninja waited above the entrance. Today was the day the new owner would come through that sliding glass door. The benefit of remaining in this position was being able to see who came in. As of now, he perceived that none of the patrons had ill intent. A few had their hoods over their heads, but they were repeats. Simple introverts with no desire to interact with others. Another couple appeared to be looking around suspiciously, but they inadvertently stared at a camera. If they did steal later, the loss prevention officer would find them.

The sensor activated and the doors opened. Paying attention, he saw a group of three enter. “Them,” the hero thought. He studied each one. Two large men in black suits, both broad-shouldered and muscular. Unlike them, the third appeared rather skinny and confident. Retail Ninja sneered. “Not in a good way,” he thought. The smaller one possessed gelled-back hair. With a pointy chin and nose, the man looked like a—

Retail Ninja’s vision shook as he realized who the third was. Embroidered on the steel-blue suit’s breast pocket were the letters SEO. A harsh reality fell as the new owner’s identity was revealed. The store was in absolute peril. The future could only lead to desolation and torture for the business morale. What hurt the hero most of all was his inability to do anything.

SleezEO. He was a notorious businessman that sought stake or ownership in small or growing operations. The man strived for automation and productivity, and would sacrifice worker happiness in order to do so. Tactics that are deemed legal yet heartless seemed to be his favorites. He was even known to promote hourly managers to the lowest salary position with a minimal pay increase, just to avoid doling out overtime wages. His labor expectations were exorbitant, and so was his greed. Any action to earn money for his pocket was worthy.

His attitude and behavior showed when Mike introduced himself. SleezEO merely walked past the general manager and scanned the front end. “Too many workers,” he said. His tone sounded pompous and slimy. “Too many lanes. What is that, twelve? They’re all manned! Larry, arrange for self-checks to take half the register lanes. What do you think, twenty-four or thirty?”

“I think,” one of the bulky men said, pointing at different checkouts, “we can do away with all but two lanes and put in seven sets of six.”

“I like it. Two for the old farts.”

Retail Ninja hated the suggestions, but so did Mike. The manager was baffled. “W-wait a minute. We already have a few self-checks Customers use the lanes for much larger transact—”

SleezEO spun and held a finger to Mike’s face. He stared at Larry and asked, “Why is he talking to me?”

“I believe this is the GM, sir.”

“Ah.” The owner stepped closer to the general manager, gave him a once over, then poked Mike’s chest. “Then know your place. This is my store now. You just make it run. Go back to your little office and we’ll handle the rest.”

Favoring to handle situations immediately, Retail Ninja rappeled and landed next to Mike. “Ah,” SleezEO cooed arrogantly, “the vigilante squatter. I’ve heard about you. Strong moral code and whatnot.”

“The store is successful the way it stands, Sleez,” the hero warned.

The villain waved and blew a raspberry. “A business always stands to make more money. Adapt to the current times, simps.” Just as Retail Ninja squinted, the suit slowly treaded around him in a circle. “And no store needs a random guy swinging from the ceiling.”

“Hey,” Mike butted in, “Retail Ninja has stopped many shoplifters.”

As if he was judging, SleezEO stared at the hero from head to toe. He pointed at Retail Ninja’s belt. “Rolls of stickers, stolen for personal use. That price gun? You modified store property. Do I even need to ask if your ridiculous costume came from the men’s department? That’s enough for termination in any organization, let alone if you’ve gotten in fights with our dear customers.”

Taking a step back, Retail Ninja feared the worst. “What are you alluding to?”

SleezEO got in his face and smirked. Hair gel faintly trickled down the pale forehead. He uttered, “Your services… are no longer needed.”

***

In the coming months, Retail Ninja yearned to swing from and run along the store rafters. But it was now a dream. Stripped of his tools and responsibilities, all he could do was shop. He pushed a cart in his brown loafers, black polo, and deep-blue denim jeans. In a way, he remained masked; no one in the store knew who he was. The day he was fired, he hung up his costume and balaclava. Retail Ninja went away, unsure when he would be called upon. Still, the store’s imagery came to mind often. Daily, sometimes more than that, he would come to peruse the aisles and peek in employee-only areas.

The sights were ghastly. Three or four workers at check-out, operating the service desk, the remaining two lanes, and over forty self-checks. The amount of impatient and soulless customers concerned Retail Ninja. Service standards were at an all-time low. He barely smiled as he watched a clerk in a lane. She moved and handled the customer’s items with purpose and flow. Knowing there were still a few dedicated people running the store eased him.

The departments were clean but the love was gone. Retail Ninja lost faith in meat. The butcher’s room was dark, and all the packaging revealed to him it was not freshly cut. Shipped in, each container’s contents appeared the same: vacuum-packed. Down the walkway, he caught a glimpse of the back dock. He shuddered as pallets were stuffed together like sardines. Bulk products caused cheaper prices, but did the quality match? It certainly did not seem appealing. Retail Ninja did a double-take as he saw an employee wheel a jack around. The poor man had sweated through his shirt. The former hero could only assume there was no air conditioning in there. “Another way to save money, I suppose,” he thought. As he went further, he saw more and more devastation. The clearance section turned into an aisle, filled with the product they special-ordered for particular customers. Mrs. Figgins would need to find a new store to find her low-sodium kalamata olives. No more green apple-flavored Bug Juice for the Satterfield’s picky toddler. Retail Ninja could hear the child’s screech from somewhere in the store.

The sense of hopelessness felt familiar. It resembled the night he was shot by the robber from a decade ago. A fire burned in his belly. He gripped the cart’s handle tightly. “No,” he muttered to himself, “not again.”

Scouring the store, he searched for a familiar face. Retracing his steps, he found Denny in produce. “Excuse me, sir. Where could I find Mike?”

The once-cheery ginger bear raised an eyebrow. “Mike, the old GM? He’s been gone for a while. He works at the phone store further down the plaza.”

Retail Ninja nodded, took his empty cart to the vestibule, and ran with renewed purpose. Entering the barren cellular provider, a bald head bobbed from behind the main counter. “Be right with ya!” After a few seconds, Mike slowly rose, revealing his short, unkempt beard. “Sorry about that. What brings you in?”

Staying silent, Retail Ninja approached the counter. Knowing well he was about to reveal his identity, it was a necessary act. He leaned on the counter and turned to look out the window. The mega-store was in plain sight. “Just like me, you had to stay close to it.”

“E-excuse me?”

Smiling, the hero glanced at Mike. “Let’s go get our store back.”

The phone clerk gasped, his lips trembling. After a moment, the man grinned as a tear fell from his eye.

***

Answering his phone, SleezEO leaned back in his office chair and kicked his feet up. “What up, Larry? Talk to me.”

“Boss, we need help.”

“What?” He sat up straight. “Why?”

“None of the opening crew’s here. I tried calling the scheduled manager and got no answer. No one’s answering their phones.”

Alarmed, the business owner stood and grabbed his keys. “Just get this place going. Run the self-checks yourself. We can’t afford to miss out on the morning rush.”

“Way ahead of you. Kain’s in a lane handling the codgers. People keep talking about a crowd outside but we’re too busy to see what’s going on.”

Hanging up, SleezEO scoffed and headed for the door. “Why do I always have to do things myself?” Upon leaving the manager’s office, he saw the sea of customers waiting at the front end. The angered pleas for him to help handle their orders were ignored. Before the exit doors slid open he noticed the problem and whispered, “What the…”

A larger mass of people grouped in the parking lot. Signs were carried back and forth in a marching line. “Worker’s rights!” “Conditions so bad, the introverts are here.” “Give me unionization or give me unemployment!”

“A strike,” SleezEO muttered. The group of protesters slowed and parted. A figure stepped out and approached him. Flashing a sneer, SleezEO regained his composure and folded his hands. “Retail Ninja. I should’ve known.”

Holding a picket sign with the local union chapter logo, the hero stood tall. With his balaclava and costume on, he raised the stick high above his head. “Your money-grubbing ends here, Sleez.”

The villain shrugged. “I don’t see how this works in your favor. I can just hire more people. All I see is you costing every person here their jobs.”

“They’re here of their own volition,” Mike claimed, stepping closer. “All we did was tell them when we were going to stand out here.”

“The only one that loses here is you,” Retail Ninja said. He pointed the poster’s corner at SleezEO. “What are you going to do, try to union bust? That’ll cost money. Even if you succeed, we won’t move from this spot. The public will hear about your practices, which will affect your traffic.”

Grumbling, the business owner combed his hair back with a hand. “You’d bring your own store down? That sounds treacherous and cold-hearted if you ask me.”

Retail Ninja glanced at the store, then stared at SleezEO with serious eyes. “We would rather mercy-kill it than watch it burn from the inside out.”

With a wicked smirk, the man brandished an exquisite fountain pen from his suit pocket. “I suppose you have demands that I’m expected to agree to.” He removed the cap, only for the pen to extend out, transforming into an épée. Expertly swishing it about, he pointed the tip at Retail Ninja. “You’re costing me money, you worthless nobody!”

Leaping back, Retail Ninja readied his picket sign. Knowing the wood wasn’t the sturdiest, he had to be quick and accurate. He blocked a few lunge attacks, but the SleezEO’s footwork was exceptional. The crowd around them retreated, giving the combatants room to duel. Parrying the flexible yet sharp sword grew repetitious. Try as he might, Retail Ninja could not gain the upper hand. He fell victim to a few knicks, tearing his skin-tight costume. Blood seeped from his forearm and thigh.

“What the matter, Ninja?” SleezEO called out, flicking his épée forward, “How can you save a store when you can’t save yourself?”

The taunt was enough of a distraction. With the villain’s next thrust, Retail Ninja let it pierce the poster. He twirled his stick and landed a kick to SleezEO’s midsection, disarming the swordsman. The hero dropped and swept his opponent’s feet from under him, then pointed both weapons at SleezEO’s neck. “And how can you better a businessman when you can’t better yourself?”

The crowd cheered as Mike handed Retail Ninja zip ties to apprehend the downed villain. “Fine,” SleezEO spat, “you’ve defeated me. Now what? I’m still the owner of your precious store.”

“You are,” Retail Ninja confirmed, “which means you’re the sole person losing money. So, we have a business proposition for you.”

“Why would I listen to it?”

“Because you stand to still make some profit off of it,” Mike said, showing a full manilla envelope. “We’ll allow you and your lawyers to look it over from your prison cell. Basically, you sign over all rights and ownership to both Retail Ninja and me, along with removing those awful self-scan units. In return, you’ll receive five percent of the store’s pure profit for the next five years. You won’t have to lift a finger or provide assistance in any way.”

SleezEO hummed, obviously in deep thought. “This store means that much to you?”

“Not just to us,” Retail Ninja explained. He waved behind him and admired the inspired and cheerful faces. “This store benefits all of them. The whole community loves our store. So many people come to the quarterly charity drives. Because of them, the funding goes to assist hungry, local families.” Several people applauded. Retail Ninja noticed SleezEO was still pondering. He stooped and whispered, “The only way you lose is if you don’t sign. Do we have a deal?”

The villain’s eyes darted between the hero and the offered packet. “Get the charges dropped and it’s done.”

“I’ll only agree to that if you make a charitable contribution.”

“Deal!” After Retail Ninja freed SleezEO, the men shook hands. “At least a donation will help my image. You can have this store… for now.”

“Just revert the front end back to normal by the end of the week.”

“Larry and Kain will have it done by closing.” The villain whipped out his phone and began texting. “For now, I suggest everyone get in there to help out. I want as much of that five percent as possible.” He yanked the envelope from Mike’s hands and signed it with another fountain pen from his pocket. “Knowing you two, I doubt there are any secret foils in this contract. Enjoy your store, losers!”

Mike and Retail Ninja watched the sordid man walk off, and the protesters clamored and hollered. The pair pat each other’s shoulders. “We did it, Retail Ninja! The store’s ours!”

“He’s right, though.” The hero spun and waved. “Let’s go, everyone! We have customers to take care of.”

The employees in the crowd surged forward with Mike directing traffic. Once inside, the general manager directed traffic. “I need two people on each set of self-checks. Bonnie, take a lane. Brandon, bag for her.”

Retail Ninja ran and hopped across the last check lane. “I’m on this one. Mike! I need two bagging.” He turned on the light, and an employee assisted the incoming customer in unloading their cart. The hero knew the limitations of the register and scanned items with peak proficiency. Although he had two clerks at the end of the lane, they could barely keep up with Retail Ninja’s speed.

With every beep, his smile broadened.