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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Flash Rides - 2. Roswell

A neurotic toll-booth operator plans trip to Roswell, NM when he discovers e-mail to cheating partner from their bit on the site.

Roswell

 

“Okay, bro, what’s the bitch done this time?” My younger brother and I were close growing up but drifted apart after his marriage. I swear he dipped into America’s basket of deplorables and picked out the worst one of them for his bride. I tried to talk him out of it, but neither I, nor the other family members who agreed with me were able to dissuade him. “Isn’t she out of town?”

He looked up from the suitcase open atop the bed. “She’s cheating on me. And yes, she’s in New Mexico for some sort of convention.” He looked at the stack of clothes he’d dumped on the bed and began sorting them by color. My dear brother was as neurotic as they come. His OCD is a source of both concern and amusement for those of us who love him.

“And how do you know she’s cheating?” My baby bro is known for flights of fancy and believing conspiracy theories. His job as a tollbooth operator for the state’s highway system affords him the opportunity to get lost inside his head. I mean, not much brainpower required while collecting payment from motorists. He’d come up with some far-fetched theories in the past when his mind wandered and his thinking wasn’t entirely logical.

He reached for a piece of paper resting on the bedside table and handed it to me. “She didn’t take her tablet with her when she left, so I decided to use it to read in bed last night. But when I tried to use it, I found an open e-mail. It was from her bit on the side. I think it’s been going on for a while. It has a picture of them at what I guess was a costume party.”

“Forget packing, bro. I don’t think you’ll be in time to stop her.” The picture showed my sister-in-law dressed in what looked like a space suit wearing some sort of shiny device on her head I suspected was made out of aluminum foil. Next to her stood a tall, pudgy man with orange skin wearing similar attire except for his head, which was covered in a yellow helmet-like device. It almost looked like hair but there was no way it could be.

“What do you mean?” As part of his fight against neurotic behavior, my brother steered clear of newspapers, magazines, and TV. His knowledge of current events wasn’t the best, but avoiding media outlets helped keep him away from fake news and alternate facts. It helped avoid his usual bad reaction to what he read. More than once he’d believed what was reported in Breitbart News, The National Enquirer, or other such outlets.

“I know you don’t follow the news so this is something you’re probably not aware of. This year’s the seventieth anniversary of a UFO crash landing in Roswell. There’s been a movement to build a wall around the town to prevent aliens from sneaking into the USA. I don’t think that thing standing next to the bitch is human. Look at his small hands! I think the aliens are here and your wife’s lover is an alien himself!”

C. A. Hazday
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  • Haha 2
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Story Discussion Topic

Welcome to the discussion thread for CJ’s series. All things CJ are fair game, I simply ask you be respectful of others. I will actively participate in the discussion. Ask questions, speculate about what’s coming, or bitch about what happened. We’re now open for business!    
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Chapter Comments

Oh the poor brother! Oh the poor family that gets to try and put all the pieces back together! Great story!

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On 03/05/2017 11:19 PM, Parker Owens said:

Oh the poor brother! Oh the poor family that gets to try and put all the pieces back together! Great story!

LOL! Seems you and I were reading each other's story at the same time! I was stumped and decided a little farce was the best approach. Hopefully you got a chuckle out of it. At least your duck can fly over the wall if it gets built! :D

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Orange, helmet hair and small hands ... pure silliness C!! Made me chuckle! So your job is done!

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On 03/06/2017 12:16 AM, Mikiesboy said:

Orange, helmet hair and small hands ... pure silliness C!! Made me chuckle! So your job is done!

I've bneen working on a CJ chapter revolving around politics (it was written last year during the presidential campaign) and I couldn't get the catchy stuff out of my head. A chuckle was what I was shooting for. Thanks, tim!

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Good lord! I think being a semi retired accountant type gives YOU too much time inside your head! Made me laugh bro!

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:gikkle: So the Cheeto is an alien. That explains a lot. ;) LOL

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On 03/06/2017 12:42 AM, Kitt said:

Good lord! I think being a semi retired accountant type gives YOU too much time inside your head! Made me laugh bro!

Glad I could put a smile on your face, sis!

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On 03/06/2017 12:43 AM, Valkyrie said:

:gikkle: So the Cheeto is an alien. That explains a lot. ;) LOL

Just remember these are 'alternate' facts, Val. We'll have to wait for the Twitter response before we can confirm anything! :D

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On 03/06/2017 01:23 AM, aditus said:

:rofl: I read this to R, and D and well some other guys. Thanks. We had fun!

One great thing about US politics right now, the entire world gets the jokes!

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On 03/06/2017 01:27 AM, Bill Christiansen said:

Yes, a very high wall is needed indeed.... :P

LOL

 

I figure if SNL and every late night show host can poke fun at our President, so can I!

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On 03/06/2017 02:53 AM, Defiance19 said:

Bwahahaha! Oh Carlos, thanks for that.. Bet I'll still be laughing later..

Well, my job here's done. Making you smile, much less laugh, is my reward!

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:rofl::gikkle::gikkle::lmao: I knew it! I knew he wasn't human. :funny: Can we send him back up there somewhere??? Thanks for the laugh. :P

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On 03/07/2017 02:57 PM, LadyDe said:

:rofl::gikkle::gikkle::lmao: I knew it! I knew he wasn't human. :funny: Can we send him back up there somewhere??? Thanks for the laugh. :P

LOL

 

I'm thinking we can start a rumor on Facebook and watch it go viral!

 

Thanks for reading and commenting, LadyDe!

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That was absolutely hilarious. It started so seriously I almost missed it until the small hands :D :D Classic!

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On 03/08/2017 12:03 AM, Nephylim said:

That was absolutely hilarious. It started so seriously I almost missed it until the small hands :D :D Classic!

Thanks, Nephy!

 

I need to send Marco Rubio a thank you note. Some of the best dialogue I've written in my CJ series has been between my character and the senator and in this one he gave a perfect line. Politicians do have their uses. :P

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