The Secret Life of Billy Chase - 8. Chapter 8

- Do a few really GOOD cheap feels and an 'almost' kiss count as a sexual experience? I don't know exactly WHAT it was that we had, but I got more out of Simon than usual. And yet, not NEARLY as much as I was hoping for! He came over as planned, and headed right for the video games as I expected him to. (We had been having this discussion about who was the best at Resident Evil. BIG mistake! That game takes forever, and it took up most of the time I had to...to...you know...seduce him...or whatever) Anyway, the whole time he was playing, I was staring at him. Do you know what his best feature is? His neck. His long, creamy white, smooth, lickable neck. I couldn't take my eyes off of it! I already jacked off thinking about it before even writing this! Not that I could fuck a NECK...but it's a very nice neck. Hehehe! Anyway, he's got a really cute voice too, you know that? I could just close my eyes and let the vibrations tickle my eardrums for an entire day straight. It's awesome. And he's so much cooler than people give him credit for. He needs to be up there on the top of the social scale with the jerks and primadonnas that rule over the rest of the school. Sometimes I wonder if anybody ever really appreciates the little shit the way that I do. Simon is sweet!

Anyway, back to my confusing definition of a possible failure...he was getting into it, and I was trying desperately to find a way to make him horny or something. Something to get him in the mood to say something to me about getting naked! And believe me, this is a lot harder than you would think. I mean, either he wasn't getting the hints, or he just didn't want to acknowledge them. Again, I tried wrestling around with him a bit, hoping that the friction between our bodies would get him at least a little bit hard. And while he was playing the game, I tried to make him lose his concentration. I mean, what greater opportunity than THAT does a teenage boy have to touch another boy in all the right places. That's kinda when I developed an infatuation with his neck. I ran my finger across, trying to make him jump or something....and omigod...it was soooooooo smooth! Even with this light blond dusting of peach fuzz all over it, it tickled the end of my fingertips. It was AWESOME! I got to touch his hair, and tickle hs side (So soft except for his ribs), and then came the big one. I pretended (PRETENDED....yeah, right!) to be gay, and put my hand on his thigh. Now, Simon was trying hard to concentrate, and he said that I wasn't going to shake him no matter what. So I decided to see just how far he'd let me take it. And I rubbed his inner thigh! His INNER THIGH!!! Helloooo??? Now THAT felt damn good! He was giggling, but he was too busy concentrating on the game to resist or even think about what I was doing. I leane in, wondering if I could work in a kiss on the cheek, and I moved to press my lips on the side of his mouth...but he leaned away fast before I could make contact. He was still smiling, but it was apparently too soon to make that move. I was so scared that he'd suddenly get mad if I went any further. But I couldn't help myself. It felt like I was possessed. And once he let me touch his thigh without flinching....I was HOOKED! So I moved up further, and further, and further, and then I touched his crotch and he laughed out loud and paused the game.

So he's all like, "Quit it! I'm trying to play, you freak!" And laughing, and I'm like, "So PLAY! I'm not stopping you!" And he's like, "You are when you're grabbing my fruit basket, ya pervert!" And we laughed a little bit, but deep down I was a bit disappointed that he wouldn't let me touch him there. I WANT to. I want to touch him everywhere. He's so cute, I swear! But, I guess that today was not meant to be the day. I DID get a handfull of that beautiful bubble ass though before he left! Hehehe! God, I wanted to lick my fingers as soon as I closed the door! I don't know...I mean, he SEEMS kinda gay to me sometimes, but other times, I don't know. It's like he just likes to play this game with me. And I want to play an entirely different game with him, if he'll only let me. I mean, what's the big deal? It'll feel good! I KNOW it will! What happens if I just ask him to let me suck him off? Just once. He'll want to come back for more, I know he will.

I worked it out logically in my mind, and if I was just honest, and asked him to let me do it, he'd probably say yes. Who WOULDN'T say yes to a blowjob? I mean, c'mon! If I just asked him straight out, he'd probably be a little nervous at first. But once I assured him that I wouldn't tell anybody and that he could come over and have it done anytime...he'd come around. Wow, he must taste sooo good! I think...I think I should take a break and end this here. I've got some pent up sexual frustration to take care of right now. So, adios for now! Wish me luck for next time.

- Billy (The neck fetish blond)

- I can't believe how tired I am today. Literally ready to pass out at any given moment and not wake up for an entire week. I think it's just one of those phases that I go through every once in a while. No big deal, I suppose.

So...today's events...I made a complete ass of myself today in gym class. Woo hoo...it's awesome to be an unbeievable loser in front of all of your classmates. I mean, what the hell IS gym anyway??? It's like a second recess...but with rules. How stupid is that? Look, I'm not the most athletic person in the world, ok? I get it, I understand that there are games that were made by a bunch of strong heterosexual people a long long time ago, where they take a round bouncy ball of some sort and put it over a net, or into a hoop, or in a hole, or through a goal of some kind...with a virtual army of people trying to stop you. But I CAN'T play! And I don't understand why they feel the need to force me into revealing that to the masses everyday at 2 PM. It's a sick practice, I tell you. I get scared when they pass me the ball, and the nervousness doesn't help any. So I end up practically falling flat on my face, and I just...I SUCK! Sigh...I really need a teacher's note for these things. I'm going to cross out the word 'gym' on my schedule, and write in 'daily dose of major humiliation hour'. Sickness.

I saw Jamie outside today, right, and he was playing around with some of his friends. So naturally I stopped to look, and they were trying to jump up on this branch in the middle of the school lawn. So Jamie tries, and he's kinda tall, so he snags it and hangs on. Oh man...his shirt came up, and I could see his firm stomach...looking sooooo tastey. Omigod, he's SO fine! He has the cutest belly button, I had never seen it before. It's incredible. And he has those 'lines'. You know, the lines on his hips that lead down and disappear into his pants...but you know they're joining around that scrumptious piece of meat between his legs. I swear, the image of him hanging from that branch is locked into my mind forever. Clear as a DVD freeze frame. I had quite a few jack off sessions over that little occurence this afternoon, believe me. Every detail was plastered in my brain, from the fine scattering of hairs under his navel, to the way his blue boxers came up just an inch and a half above his waist line. I swear, the orgasm was so real that I could taste him. I'll never be rid of my love for that boy.

Sam and I sat back and watched MTV music videos today, just hanging out and not really getting into any particular activities that required any structure. It was a lazy day, and like I said, I was tired anyway. We made fun of the music videos playing in constant rotation, even the ones we liked. The Rock videos with their shakey screens and weirdos screaming into the mic loud enough to bust a vocal chord or two. The Rap videos where it rains dollar bills and champagne that costs over 100 dollars a bottle gets poured over some random bitch's chest on a boat that they don't own. The Alternative videos with the wish washy 'maybe gay/maybe straight' guy singing in the lead, sitting at home and singing with his male friends while they switch back and forth between shots of pretty girls who look as though they're not even interested until the very end of the video where they meet on the street somehow and hug. And the R&B videos, where everybody walks in slow motion, sings in slow motion, makes love in slow motion, cries in slow motion, breaks up in slow motion, gets back together in slow motion, and only speed it up when it's time to dance for whatever reason. It's weird, but most of the time, you can really see how they market everything, and you lose so much appreciation for it after that. I mean, it's not that I don't like it, because I do. But there's just something unsettling about having people out there in a business suit and a tie, knowing exactly what buttons to press to get my interest. It's creepy. Like being brainwashed. They know what category of kids likes 'flashy' stuff, and they create this strategy to herd us in front of the television like a bunch of lab rats. Sometimes, it sucks being a demographic.

I think thats it for today. I'm just rambling now. It's been a spacey day. I'll see you later.

- Billy

Do you know what somebody asked me today? They asked me if me and Michelle were dating. DATING? Where in the hell did THIS come from? Evidently, letting her touch my hair and give me hugs on such a regular basis makes us look like a couple. Well...in a way I suppose that it makes sense. But that's NOT what I want people to believe! I mean...what if there's this really really cute boy in the closet who wants to approach me, and the first thing he sees is a girl with her hands in my hair. If things are looking 'odd', then I might have to put a stop to that. Michelle is sweet and all, but she's my friend, and I don't want people getting the wrong idea.

Seeing Simon in school today was a slightly different experience today. It made me wonder if my advances on him the other day made an impact afterall. He was beyond friendly today, and he talked a lot more, and he just seemed happier. You know, more comfortable. What if that's my sign? My new omen that will eventually lead to him and me rolling around on the bed and kissing until we can't breathe anymore? Wow...oh wow. What does Simon feel like? All those private places that he hides so well beneath that thin layer of clothing he wears. What does he taste like? Could it possibly be as sweet and inviting as I imagine, judging from the sweet aroma of him when I get close enough to catch a whiff or two? What does Simon sound like when he's being made love to? Does he whimper? Does he sigh quietly to himself? Does he talk, encouraging me with whispers of 'I love yous' and 'yeah, that's good' and 'oh god, oh god'? Does he restrain his vocal appreciation to a high pitched whine? Or does he let loose with moans and groans that can be heard from the other room? Does he squirm? Is he more submissive? Or does he take more of a lead? Man...just THINKING about him in that way was an emotional hyperdrive in itself. My mind would envision the scenario so vividly that my body would react accordingly, covered with a feeling of unbelievable lust, my hormones acting as though I was actually taking part of the sensual act for real. I swear...I could suck on my tongue and swear that I could taste him. I don't know how to take things any further than they already are, but I definitely want to keep trying. I'll invite him over again. Maybe we can make it a weekly thing, where I'd keep getting constant opportunities to make a move on him. He'd have to give in eventually. He'd HAVE to! Looking at him at lunch today...I never wanted to kiss him more. He's gonna be mine, this I vow.

-Billy