The Secret Life of Billy Chase 6 - 20. Chapter 20

Monday

- You know...I didn't quite know what to expect from a random high school Monday today...but it was slightly more than I expected. I don't know, maybe I was just in a 'blah' kind of mood today. Or maybe...I just...I dunno.

I'm feeling pretty weird right now.

I actually expected today to kinda SUCK to be honest. I don't know why. I guess I just woke up in one of those moods where I felt like every mischief causing 'gremlin' in the neighborhood was wickedly rubbing their hands together and planning on making my day total SHIT from the moment I opened my eyes. I get like that sometimes. It never gets any better. I wish it would...but it doesn't.

ANYWAY...I got up, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Typical school morning. My mom was tired as hell, but that wasn't totally out of character either. It's just her on a normal Monday. So....um...I go over to Sam's house this morning. And I'm seriously DREADING this conversation where I'm almost CERTAIN that he's gonna ask me for private 'relationship' info on Stacy and the like. I honestly thought about ditching Sam altogether and making up an excuse for it later. But when I went over to his house this morning...

(WHAT??? He's *HOT*!!! And he's getting DRESSED when I go over there! I caved! So sue me!)

...Anyway, so I went over, and Sam was just...being Sam. Like...he didn't mention Stacy at all. Not once. I was kinda anxious about the whole thing. I was waiting for him to bring up the subject in some kind of awkward way...but it never seemed to cross his mind. Which was a huge relief for me, because I thought, for sure, that I was gonna have to take her out by the dumpsters at school and beat the living shit out of her for looking twice at my man. Hehehe! Or um...my best friend. Whatever.

NO more of Sam's soft and sensuous kisses for GIRLS! Let them go find some other mach straight guy with a hard on and no feelings! I hear the frat houses in college are full of them. My Sam is an innocent flower. One that needs to be treated delicately...with manly love and respect. He's too beautiful to be some slut's pump machine. Arrrgh!

Did I really just write that about Stacy? Hehehe, yikes! I suck for that....

Anyway, I kinda caught up to Jimmy in the hallway early today and was eager to see if we could find Trace milling about somewhere before class. No such luck. It really sucked, because the sooner I get those two introduced to one another, the sooner I can get Jimmy to give me the info on his 'possible' sexuality. I just wanna know what my chances are so I can, you know....make a move on him or something. Oh God, I think Trace would be sooooo hot to make out with. Like...really slow, really passionate kissing. And I can, like...play with his hair. And he'd caress my cheek softly with his hand...I mean, wow. I dunno, he just seems like he'd be so....um...what's the word I'm looking for? 'Into it', I guess. The kind of boy that would smile and pull you into the bathroom stall at the mall, just for a little lip action. Hehehe, that makes him, like, one of the sexiest boys ever in my book, you know?

So Jimmy was giggling at my excitement as I dragged him all around the school, looking for places where Trace usually hangs out. He was like, "Billy! Hehehe, Jesus! Can we slow down for a minute? Are you really feeling that frisky?"

I'm like, "Dude...you have NO idea!' i looked around for a second and whispered, "If I don't fuck somebody soon, I'm gonna seriously explode! Call it a phase of the moon or whatever, but I'm starting to wink at the shampoo bottle in the shower for God sakes!" Jimmy's knees nearly buckled at the idea. Hehehe!

He's like, "You know, just because I see him, it doesn't mean that I'm gonna suddenly give you a thumbs up or thumbs down..."

But I'm all like, "I know, I know. It's just...I've got a good feeling about this. I just wanna know if you can give me a second opinion, or whatever. I am totally gonna tackle that boy to the floor if I think for one minute that he'd be into me. I mean it." I was practically shaking when I said it, and it plastered this big goofy grin all over my face. I think I was talking a bit loud to be in a school hallway. EVERYTHING echoes in high school hallways. That's why the gossip spreads so damn fast in that place. I think having a friend like Jimmy on my side has made this whole 'gay' thing a bit TOO normal for me these days. It almost makes me forget that I'm supposed to be...you know...'un-homo'. Yeah...that sounds about right.

Anyway, we didn't find Trace today, but I'm not giving up. For all I know, he could have ditched school altogether to sit back with one of his dad's half empty liquor bottles for the day. Who knows with him? Wish I could be there with him right now. After Friday night, I just...hehehe...I don't know. Something about him excites me. I like that. I had almost forgotten what that felt like. Well...not counting Sam, of course. But he put the brakes on that particular fascination in a hurry. Sucks.

Now...what I would definitely say was the most 'unexpected' part of my day, happened just after lunch. I still don't know what got into me, but....whatever. I don't really regret it. I'd probably do it again if given the opportunity. Sighhh...I don't know. Maybe I'm just a big ol' sucker for shit like that.

So...I was at my locker, changing my books over for my next class, and there's like..this group of Juniors and Seniors just blocking up most of the hall like usual. Making noise and acting like they run the place. You know, just being obnoxious as usual. I was basically trying to ignore them, but at some point, I saw somebody trying to silently sneak by them. Which isn't easy, because they were spread out all over the place. Anyway, at a closer look, it was Stevie. I think he might have mumbled an 'excuse me' or something, but he practically had to physically wiggle his way through the whole horde just to try to get to class. Now...Stevie is FAR from being my favorite person. Especially after lying about me to Brandon when I was just trying to help his stupid ass! But....sighhhh.....godammit....

So Stevie was trying to lightly push his way around them, and a few of the boys get upset. They see this freshman just trying to get through, and Stevie's smaller than them. I mean, he's taller than me by an inch, but he's kinda wiry, you know? They see him looking all sweet-like, and one of them shoves him up against the lockers. Like...for NO reason! And two other boys recognize him and start calling him names and stuff like it's funny. I'll NEVER understand what pleasure people get out of picking on somebody just for the sake of seeing them humiliated by it. They're calling him gay and emo and sissy and stuff, and Stevie just wants to go to class. I hate him too, but I don't go out of my way to mess with him like these assholes.

I thought about just shutting my locker and walking away. There's a part of me that almost wanted to pull up a chair and watch that little weasel get the shit beaten out of him. But....that's just...not something that I do. It's never been a part of my nature. I never let people pick on Simon. I never let people pick on Jimmy LaPlane. I never let people pick on Bobby Jinette. And I'll be damned if I let them pick on Stevie either. Not when it's so obviously unfair.

So, I'm like 'screw my better judgement', and I shut my locker, and I walk over to them. I'm like, "Why don't you just leave him alone?" I'm not being a tough guy about it or anything, but I had to say something. Ugh...I can't believe I stood between Stevie and a group of kids that were almost my dad's size. I think even Stevie was surprised.

The older boys laughed at me and asked if he was my boyfriend. Ewww..ust thinking about that made me throw up in my mouth a little. But I just ignored the comment and turned to Stevie, like, "C'mon dude. Let's just go."

Then I felt someone pulling my shirt, and they pushed me against the lockers too. The guy was like, "I didn't say you could leave either, pipsqueak! Where do you think you are? Who do you think you're talking to? Huh?" He pointed his finger hard at my chest, and as angry as it made me...just one swing, and I was SURE these guys were gonna put me and Stevie in the hospital. I mean...SAM was always the fighter between the two of us. If he was there, he probably would have taken the beating before backing down. I, on the other hand, have some serious reservations about the feeling of bone-hard knuckles being slammed repeatedly into my face. So I kinda froze and didn't know what to do.

Then I hear, "Is there a problem over here?" And I see Jamie Cross standing behind them, and handing Joanna his books so he can have his hands free. Now it was MY turn to be shocked by the whole thing. Jamie isn't really a tough guy either, but the look in his eyes at that moment was definitely different from the friendly sparkle that I was used to seeing. He was like, "You like picking on people? Is that it? You've got nothing better to do with your time?"

Honestly...I didn't want to get beaten up...but if they touch my Jamie, I was definitely gonna sucker punch one of these assholes with everything I've got. Believe me. I don't know if it was because Joanna was there, or it was just the fact that our numbers seemed to be growing...but the older kids laughed and blew us off after that. Problem solved, I guess.

By the way....Jamie is really HOT when he's mad! Like...whoah...it's something to see. I would have dropped to my knees and swallowed him WHOLE right in front of everybody if I had the chance. SEXY!

Anyway, he asked if me and Stevie were ok, and I told him, "Yeah, I'm fine." Who gives a shit about Stevie. Now that I think about it, he didn't even thank me. Whatever. I didn't do it for him. I did it because it was the right thing to do. So fuck him. It was um....really cool to have Jamie look out for me though. Joanna smiled at me, and they both kinda....walked off together. But a part of me tingled inside. I just kept thinking, "Jamie Cross is actually looking out for me." I nearly fainted from the idea. It was...you know...it was cute. Hehehe, God, I'm blushing now.

Ok, so...Bobby ditched gym class today. And that's something he doesn't do unless there's REALLY something wrong. So I called his house after school today. No answer. I sent him another email to tell him to talk to me, and about an hour ago, he sent me a reply. It was very simple and to the point. It said...

"He's not into me...."

That one phrase...it looked so sad. It literally broke my heart. I wrote back to ask what happened and to tell him that I was so SO sorry about that. We played email tag for a few minutes, and...from what he was saying, I started to notice that Bobby wasn't really being specific about what actually went down between him and Ian. I mean, at first, it sounded like an outright rejection. But after a while, he didn't seem really clear on what Ian said at all. So I asked him, "Bobby...what did he actually say to you when you told him that you liked him?"

And finally....Bobby is like, "I didn't tell him. I just know, ok? I thought he was interested, but...whatever. The whole thing was really stupid. I just wanna go to bed, ok? I'll talk to you later. Thanks."

I wrote him back like THREE times, but he didn't answer me after that. What does he MEAN he 'knows'? Knows what? He didn't even TELL him. Bobby was all gung ho about telling him this past weekend, and now he's telling me he chickened out? I swear, I'm gonna end up choking that boy with my bare hands when I see him tomorrow. He's avoiding me now...but he'll have to come out of hiding some time.

He deserves to be yelled at.

Anyway, I have to go. But I'll write more later. Maybe once I finish strapping Bobby to a table and forcing him to actually 'talk' to me for once! That's what he was panicking about all weekend? No way. I don't buy it. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this eventually. Trust me on this.

Wow....hehehe, I just thought about Jamie Cross sticking up for me again. Sighhhh...why does he have to be so straight? I'd make him sooooo happy. Hehehe!

I'm getting to be too horny for my own good. I need some ass. ANY piece of ass! I should seriously see if I can talk Sam into a little...you know...'action' before school tomorrow. I shouldn't. I know it's bad for me to think like that. But I really REALLY ant some right now! can practically taste him on the tip of my tongue. I just want him on top of me right now. Ugh! I'm squirming now! I need to take care of something right now. Hehehe! Laters!

- Billy