A Long List of Nevers - 12. Chapter 12

It had been four days since Caz was discharged from the hospital. Lee had taken a week off to watch her. True to their word, Wazza and Pat had a talk with Sean who had now put up several signs warning tourists about cone shells as well.

In the meantime, Keith was back at the bookstore… staring at the wall.

Keith sighed. Since the beach incident they hadn’t resumed their talk. They both had gotten over their guilt feelings at what happened but… Carl had pointedly stopped his overt flirting again.

Keith wasn’t exactly the type of guy who initiated flirting either.

He sighed again as he thought back to his conversation with Caz. Did he really mean what he had said to her? Granted he was only humoring her, but he didn’t feel like he was lying when he said yes either. He really was falling for Carl.

That’s bad right?

The last time he had let himself fall on love with a physically perfect guy, the guy had used him and then beat him up so badly he had to be hospitalized. That should’ve been a lesson enough for him. And besides, even when shooting for guys within his ‘league’, he still didn’t get much luck. What made him think that Carl, who is even more perfect than Josh ever was, would react differently?

Sure, Carl’s been making googly eyes at him since virtually the second they met. But that should’ve only made Keith warier. He was nothing compared to Carl. Heck, the height issue alone should have repelled Carl away. At Carl’s 6’8” and his 5’6”, his head barely topped Carl’s shoulders. But Carl seemed inexplicably drawn towards him. And he feared it was either because of pity or because he had some ulterior motives.

Like what?

Did he suddenly inherit a million dollars that he has yet to know about? Did he have some hidden mutant superpowers he hadn’t discovered yet? Was he going to save the world in the near future and Carl was going to teach him how like some sort of Jedi Master?

Keith smirked at the direction of his own thoughts. This again. He was getting way more paranoid the older he got.

“What’s that smirk for, mate?”

Keith looked up to see the subject of his ruminations reach past him for a sandwich. “You smell.” He replied with a grin.

“Do I?” Carl lifted his arms and sniffed in mock concern. “That’s just the smell of a sexy man.” He grinned impishly.

Carl had been unpacking the crates of new arrivals in the storeroom, and he was sweating lightly. And yes, he smelled incredibly sexy to Keith. Hell if he’d admit that to him though. “Eau de Carl, irresistible fragrance of men stacking boxes on a hot Australian day. We’d be flooded with orders if you start bottling that and selling it, mate.”

“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. Want a lick?” Carl started to lick his own biceps.

Keith threw a magazine at him, laughing.

Inside he felt like jumping for joy. That was definitely flirting, right? Looks like he didn’t have to worry about anything after all.

“What are you doing?” Carl peered at the computer’s screen, taking a bite of the sandwich.

“Just punching in the new books.”

“How’s Caz?” Carl hadn’t had the chance to stop by this morning, as he had been picking up the books from Davo.

“She’s fine. She pretends to be frail and all when she wants something from Lee, but she’s fine.” Keith laughed.

“Poor Lee.”

“Don’t get me wrong, she’s not really spoiled at all. It’s just been a while since she had spent much quality time with her dad.”

Carl nodded thoughtfully. “How’s her paintings?”

“Mate, you seen the new ones? The ones she did in the hospital?”

“Yep. Girl’s gonna go places when she grows up, mate.”

“I’m going to have those framed.”

“Wait. I have something…” Carl started off for the storeroom.

The chimes jangled announcing customers. A couple of tourists entered. Carl whirled around and looked at Keith. He smiled helplessly and shrugged.

“Oh well. Never mind, it can wait.” He said before going off to entertain the customers.

Keith shrugged, already feeling a whole lot better from the recent exchange.

He was finishing up the last of the new books an hour later when Carl slapped a box on top of the counter.

He stopped typing and looked up at Carl. “What’s this?”

“Open it.”

Keith reached for the rectangular box wrapped in brown paper. Nothing betrayed what was inside, not even post markings.

“Don’t shake it!” Carl warned. “Just open it.”

Keith tore away the wrapping and was rewarded with a view of colorful covers. It was a box of lightfast pastels. He glanced up at Carl in surprise.

“You still paint, mate?” Carl asked, grinning.

“What do you mean still?”

“I mean.” Carl reddened. “Caz umm… told me.”

Keith frowned at Carl. He had the feeling that Carl was lying. But if he were, how else could he have known that Keith painted? Besides, Caz painted pretty much all throughout her stay at the hospital. So Carl had plenty of chances to ask her about where she had learned how. He shrugged. “Actually… not anymore.”

“Why?” It was Carl’s turn to frown.

“I don’t know. I just… didn’t feel like it anymore.”

“So you don’t like my gift?” Carl looked crestfallen.

“It’s a gift, eh?”

“Well yeah.” Carl blushed.

“Thanks, mate. And no, I like it.” Keith smiled, looking up at Carl shyly. “I just might pick up painting again.” He actually still had all his art supplies at home, but he wasn’t going to tell Carl that.

“You do that.” Carl was still blushing and looking at anywhere else but Keith. “I also bought some… uh… those paper thingos you guys use for painting?”

“Laid paper.”

“Yeah that. I bought some for Caz too.” He scratched his head and glanced back at Keith.

“Why?” Keith asked.

Carl shrugged and looked away again. “Just felt like it.”

“You could’ve just given me a red sports car or something.” Keith laughed.

“In your dreams, mate.” Carl laughed, but he had obviously gotten what Keith was hinting at. Carl was courting him in his way, and that made Keith incredibly happy.

Keith put the box of pastels away on his work bag.

“So…” Carl drummed his fingers on the counter.

“So…?”

Carl took a deep breath. “So how about dinner tonight?”

Keith felt his heart beat faster. “Like a date or some shit?”

“Yeah.” Carl ran his fingers through his hair self-consciously.

“Does this have anything to do with that list of nevers talk we had on the beach?”

“So you do remember it!”

“Of course. What makes you think I’d forgotten it?”

“Well… you haven’t spoken a single word about it since.”

“Neither have you.” Keith countered.

“Well I’m asking now, aren’t I?”

“So you are.” Keith grinned.

Carl let out a sigh of exasperation, his big shoulders heaving. “You’re not making this any easier for me, aren’t you?”

“Nope.” Keith laughed.

“Is that a no?”

“Nope.”

“Alrighty then!” Carl beamed. “I’ll finish up at the back then we can leave.” He walked away, almost skipping in joy.

Keith’s own feelings weren’t that much different. It felt like he was tingling all over from happiness. He could shamelessly have danced right then and there.

Carl had asked him out! And damn, if that didn’t make him feel like the luckiest guy in the world.

He glanced up at the wall clock. 6:58 PM.

His grin disappeared. Still an hour to go before they closed up. He cursed under his breath. He tried to stretch out inputting the last few entries into the computer, to make time seem to go faster. Finished, he glanced at the wall clock again.

7:05 PM

Damn it. He moved around the pencils in the desk aimlessly, arranged the magazines on the counter, tapped his feet, surfed the web…

7:15 PM

He heard a loud thud coming from the storeroom. He whirled around to see Carl walking out.

“The unpacking can wait. Let’s go.” He told Keith.

“But it’s not even 7:30 yet.”

“Fuck that.” Carl smiled sheepishly. “Come on, mate.”

They closed up the shop hurriedly. Carl’s excitement was palpable. That made Keith unselfconscious about his own giddiness at the upcoming date.

“You take a bus home and get ready. I’ll pick you up at 8:30.”

“What should I wear?”

“Just something casual, mate. Definitely no dress shirt.” Carl laughed as he locked the storefront shutters. He pocketed the keys then faced Keith. He grinned then unexpectedly hugged him.

Keith didn’t protest as he was enveloped by Carl’s big arms. He smiled happily against his warm chest. “Aww, mate. I was planning to wear my virginal evening gown, a tiara, and a bit of lippy maybe. Being my first date and all.” Keith murmured as he nuzzled his nose against Carl.

“Bastard.” Carl laughed as he released him. He slapped Keith’s ass playfully. “Go on, git.”

Keith slapped Carl’s – magnificent - ass back, laughing. He started off for the bus terminal. He kept looking back every now and then at Carl, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

“Remember, 8:30 and no gowns, tiaras, or lippys.” Carl called out after him.

Keith checked on Caz and Lee across the driveway before hurrying home and taking a quick shower. He spent a good five minutes brushing his teeth. He had a brief panic moment when he discovered that his favorite shirt was still in the laundry. In the end he settled for a T-shirt with some funky designs on it and jeans, figuring Carl wasn’t the type to take them out to those snotty high-end restaurants those tourists went to. He hated those places anyway. He picked up a jacket and slung it over one shoulder.

His hair still looked untamed. He shrugged and plopped a baseball cap on his head.

He stocked up on mints, made sure he didn’t forget his wallet, keys, and mobile. Then he sat down on the living room and waited.

His eyes were drawn to the glass-protected painting mounted on the wall above the TV. It was of a bluff overlooking the sea on the eastern side of the island. He painted that when he was only 13 during a school break.

Like all pastel paintings, the colors were vibrant. Intense in the way he had youthfully captured the blueness of the sky, the darker blue of the sea, and the small patch of windmill grasses perched on the shelf of rock.

He smiled. It was a bit amateurish but back then he was immensely proud of it. He had to admit that it was quite good, for someone who had never been formally trained in pastel painting.

He caught himself.

This was definitely weird. He wasn’t feeling any of the emotions he used to feel when he looked at the artworks he had long since stopped making.

Despair and self-mockery at being so naïve back then… those feelings were gone. Instead he was actually enjoying the painting for what it was – art, that though still a bit rough, was good art.

He knew the reason of course – Carl.

He wasn’t really sure yet earlier when he told Carl he might pick up painting again. But right now, he was sure. He wanted to paint again.

Heck, he wanted to learn twenty new languages, travel the world, accept James’ long-standing proposal to teach him scuba diving, invent something, he felt like pursuing all the hundred little plans he had abandoned.

For the first time in a long while, he felt like he could dream.

The doorbell rang. He stood up, suddenly nervous. He discarded the ball cap and checked his reflection in the mirror. Same old same old. But Carl saw something in him, and that was more than enough for Keith.

He opened the door.

“Hi.” Carl was dressed much as he was, except that he actually looked gorgeous. He looked gorgeous in anything anyway.

“Hi.” Keith replied shyly. The both stood there looking at each other for a moment, feeling suddenly like a couple of teenagers on prom night.

“You look great.” Carl ran his eyes over Keith.

“Shit, mate. I’m pretty much wearing the same thing I did earlier.” They both laughed.

“Well you always look great, mate.”

“You do. Not so sure about me but enough about that.” Keith sniffed. “Let’s go.”

“Ready? Forgotten anything? Survival gear, food, water, handcuffs…?”

“Wanker.” Keith muttered as he locked the door, he was smiling though. He turned around and paused. Hesitating, he reached for Carl’s hand.

Carl accepted without a word, covering Keith’s fingers within his warm grip. They locked gazes and smiled. They walked down to the parked ute hand-in-hand, the moon winking at them through the branches of the trees above.