A Long List of Nevers - 8. Chapter 8

Monday. Opening day.

 

Carl was a bit of a wreck though he tried not to let it show.

 

To be honest, Keith was as well.

 

They had worked until midnight yesterday, stocking the last of the shelves. They had cleaned the place up and put up bright posters and guides on the walls. Late into the night they had taken turns punching the list into the computer and reading from the ledger. That actually was the most arduous of the tasks by far, despite the specialized software that Carl had gotten for the bookstore. Their eyes were aching by the time they had closed up. Carl drove him back home, thanking him profusely and promising a bonus.

 

Keith enjoyed it though. The time pressure, working together closely like that, and the demand on creativity… it was the closest thing to those class projects from his school years. Exhausting but rewarding.

 

Carl was a bit reserved all day yesterday but not to the point of being cold. It just felt like he was holding back. He hadn’t brought up Saturday’s conversation again. Keith hadn’t either. The task ahead of them was stressful enough without adding more to it. And Keith really just wanted to forget the whole thing. Forget the hugs Carl seems to have the habit of dishing out liberally, forget that goddamned kiss, forget the old dreams Carl had awakened in him.

 

Keith once again wondered if he was making a mistake by not giving Carl a chance. He had lain awake all night last Saturday because of that. He was damn easy to like, that’s for sure. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that Carl had something he wasn’t telling him. Maybe Keith was just being paranoid though. It could be that Carl just saw him in the island earlier and had fallen head over heels with his daggy ole self.

 

Keith had to laugh at that thought. That shit only happens in fairytales and bad movies. There had to be something else Carl wasn’t telling him, right? Because really, guys like Carl didn’t go for guys like Keith.

 

That and Josh.

 

Keith’s blood turned cold at the memory of the handsome Centre Half-Forward back in his High School days in Perth. He won’t ever put himself in that situation again if he can help it. But… Carl wasn’t anything like Josh, which was even more baffling. What made him different?

 

His thoughts were interrupted by someone banging on the door. He hurried over and opened it. Carl was outside, arms laden with a thermos, a bag of sandwiches, and beer. Between his teeth hung a small basket with lord knows what else inside it.

 

Keith took the sandwiches and the beer and ushered him inside.

 

“Sheesh, mate. It’s baking hot outside.” Carl set the thermos and the basket down on the low table in the reading lounge. “There are some plastic cups in the fridge. Bring it here, will ya?”

 

Keith nodded as he stowed away the beer. He held the sandwiches up, unsure of what to do with it.

 

“That’s ours. Just keep it there, mate.”

 

Keith brought over the cups. “What’s inside?” He asked curiously, drawing away the cloth covering the contents of the basket.

 

“Bikkies. Just a little something for the customers. Got tea here as well.” Carl replied, taking the cups from Keith and setting it down beside the thermos. “Have one mate, I baked it this morning.” He grinned proudly.

 

Keith raised an eyebrow. They had decided not to go with a full-blown opening party – the kind with banners, cake, giveaways and the works. Most of their target customers will be tourists anyway, and they won’t care if this was the first time a bookstore opened in Cronek ever. Besides, he had no idea that Carl baked. He plucked a cookie from the pile and took a tentative bite.

 

Right. Carl baked, but he really should consider giving it up. Keith had to struggle not to make a face. It was way too sweet.

 

“Great, right?” Carl asked nervously.

 

“Uhuh.” Keith mumbled, forcing himself to swallow the cookie whole. He wondered if there was some way to get rid of the rest before the customers show up. He could spill some tea on it, he thought. He’ll wait until Carl gets distracted or something.

 

The clock chimed a single cheerful ‘ding’, announcing the arrival of 1 PM. They both swiveled their heads to look at it, then swiveled again towards the front door in unison, a look of expectation painted on their faces.

 

The door stared right back at them silently.

 

Keith snorted. Carl started chuckling.

 

“We’re a mess.” Carl said, shaking his head.

 

“You did hand out some pamphlets yesterday, right?”

 

Carl nodded. “Flyers in public places too.”

 

“Well, customers should be…” Keith was interrupted by the door bursting open. “There we go.”

 

“Hey you guys!” It was Kat and Miri.

 

“Hey Kat.” Keith replied. “Buy something.”

 

“Rude.” Kat turned her nose up at Keith while Miri chuckled behind her. “Hey Carl!” She greeted the big man who was by now trying to decide whether to offer them tea or let them ask first.

 

“G’day Kat… and Miri, right?”

 

“Yes. Nice to see you again, Carl… and Keith.” Miri pointedly looked at Keith over Carl’s shoulder.

 

“Buy something.” Keith prompted again.

 

Kat rolled her eyes and went to the nearest shelf. She plucked out a book randomly. “I’ll take this, thank you very much.” She handed the book to Keith without even looking at it. She turned back towards Carl. “So I heard you guys were stranded?”

 

Keith raised an eyebrow as he turned the book over in his hands and read the title. It was a copy of Atlas Shrugged. “I didn’t know you were into objectivism nowadays, Kat.” He observed dryly.

 

“Oh I am. Deep inside I had always known I was a selfish bitch.” Kat replied without missing a beat, her attention still on Carl. Miri suppressed a giggle. “So… you guys had to walk through December right?”

 

“Yeah.” Carl replied hesitantly. Keith got behind the counter to wrap the book.

 

“Anything exciting?” Kat asked. “Walking in the moonlight sounds incredibly romantic.”

 

Carl met Keith’s gaze asking for support. Keith just shrugged.

 

Miri had started to investigate the basket of cookies. She looked at Keith questioningly as she started to reach for one.

 

Keith hastily glanced at Carl to make sure he wasn’t looking, then mouthed a big ‘NO’ followed by a dramatic miming of choking and death. To his relief, Miri got the message and decided not to try one. Her grin had gotten wider though.

 

“Well… we saw a troupe of echidnas, if that counts for something.” Carl offered. Miri asked Keith for the gardening section then headed off for it.

 

“Were they mating?” Kat asked, her expression still beguilingly innocent.

 

“Kat!” Keith shouted in shock from the counter. Carl was speechless. Kat dropped hints with all the subtlety of someone dropping an anvil from a skyscraper.

 

Kat sighed in exasperation. “Fine. Don’t tell me.”

 

Carl shrugged helplessly.

 

“Carl? You have anything on cacti?” Miri called out from behind the shelves.

 

“Yes. Um… Green Thumb Encyclopedia of Gardening: Desert Plants I think. Here let me find it.” Carl quickly took the excuse to escape from Kat’s grilling.

 

Deprived of her primary victim, Kat sauntered over to Keith. She grabbed the wrapped book from him with an accusing glare. “You didn’t text back.”

 

“I left my phone with Carl.” Keith shot back, emphasizing the last couple of words.

 

“Oh.” Kat had the decency to blush. “Did he read them?” She whispered in embarrassment.

 

“No. Thank goodness.” Keith whispered back. “And nothing happened.” He added before Kat could ask the question.

 

“Bummer.” Kat pouted. She counted out the money for the book. “But.” She paused as she handed over the payment for the purchase to Keith. “You’ll be working here with him!” She whispered excitedly. “That’s even better than being handcuffed to him.”

 

“No, Kat.” Keith said tiredly.

 

“You could seduce him. He’d be slaving away here on the computer and you’d come up to him and offer a backrub and he’d –“

 

Keith cleared his throat. Carl and Miri were coming back towards the counter, chatting about cacti and gardening.

 

Kat mercifully shut up. She still had the audacity to look sideways at Carl then wink at Keith though, cackling evilly all the while. Keith ignored her and punched in Miri’s purchase. With a wave and more winking from Kat, which Keith was sure Carl saw as well, they left.

 

“Our first customers!” Carl exclaimed in triumph as soon as they saw the two women disappear around the street corner outside. He pulled Keith from behind the counter and smothered him in a hug.

 

Keith didn’t protest and hugged back, just as excited about it as Carl. After all the trouble they went through yesterday, even something as small as a purchase of two books was exhilarating.

 

Carl let go of Keith and beamed. “I think we’re both going bonkers. If you paid both of them to come in, please don’t tell me, mate. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.”

 

Keith laughed. “I swear, I didn’t.”

 

“Grouse.” Carl said, ruffling Keith’s hair playfully.

 

The chimes rang again as some tourists entered. Carl ran over to them excitedly. Keith had to smile, Carl looked bloody adorable. He had to admit, a 6’8” hunk acting like a dork had its appeal.

 

A steady stream of customers arrived after that. Keith had to grimace in sympathy at the few who tried the cookies. He hadn’t yet had the opportunity to find a way to get rid of those. Thankfully none of them had the guts to tell the big man that his cookies sucked. At least the tea in the thermos was decent enough to wash down the cloyingly sweet taste.

 

Later that afternoon, Caz barged in in her school uniform, towing Lee behind her. Lee greeted both Keith and Carl, a helpless smile on his handsome brown face as Caz marched them up right to the counter.

 

Caz hugged Keith and shook Carl’s hand solemnly. “Do you have the book on snails now?”

 

Carl laughed and got behind the counter. He opened a drawer and brought out several brightly colored books wrapped with a ribbon. He returned to Caz who now had a delighted expression on her face.

 

“This is for you, young lady.” Carl said, stooping down to hand it to her.

 

“Thank you.” Caz whispered in awe.

 

“You shouldn’t have, Carl.” Lee said.

 

“It’s from me and Keith.” Carl smiled the older man.

 

Lee glanced at Keith who was by now looking at Carl with a new light in his eyes, oblivious to him and everyone else in the store. Lee smiled a little as he realized what was going on between the two. “Thanks, mate.”

 

Caz excitedly drew the ribbon off the books and went over to the couch to flip through it.

 

It took a few seconds for Keith to realize that he had been staring at Carl with a worshipful expression on his face. He hastily wiped it off and looked away before Carl could catch him. He was still smiling though as he went over to Caz. He had no idea Carl had set aside those books, but the fact that he had remembered was damned thoughtful.

 

Like it or not, he was really starting to like the big guy.

 

Carl helped Lee pick out some good fiction. The boat rental docks can get a bit boring at times, and Lee needed some way to pass the time.

 

Caz spotted the cookies and before Keith could stop her, she had crammed one in her mouth.

 

“Yum.” She said to Keith’s astonishment. She actually liked it! Something to do with kids having sweet tooths probably. “Carl, can I have more of the bikkies?”

 

Carl stuck a head out of the corner of the row of shelves and beamed. Keith struggled not to burst out laughing. This was the first time someone actually wanted more of those ghastly cookies. “Sure thing, Caz.”

 

“Thanks!” Caz called out as she grabbed a handful and stuck it in her pockets.

 

While Keith rang up Lee’s purchases, Lee invited Carl over to dinner later that night. Keith was already having dinner with them anyway. He regularly ate with them several times a week, Lee being something of a father figure to him.

 

They left a while later, Caz skipping happily with the books under her arm.

 

Keith stared at them as they left then went over to Carl. Without a word, he grabbed the bigger man and hugged him.

 

“Hey.” Carl exclaimed in surprise.

 

“Thanks.” Keith said simply and let go. He punched him lightly on the side and went back to the counter.

 

“You’re welcome.” Carl whispered after him. Keith’s back was turned to him so Keith couldn’t see the expression of yearning on Carl’s face as he said those words.

 

The day passed by quickly. More friends of Keith’s stopped by as well to congratulate Carl and buy a book or two. Keith had the distinct impression though, that a lot of them, like Kat earlier, seem to be hinting a bit too much about the working relationship between Carl and Keith. He had to push out James in exasperation when he started to wonder out loud about what had happened between Keith and Carl the other night during Midsummer’s. He did get rid of the cookies eventually though. Every time someone mentioned something about Midsummer’s he gave them a handful of cookies until the basket was empty. Taking grim satisfaction at the faces they make after trying to eat one.

 

He and Carl were on pretty great footing right now, their last disagreement last Saturday all but forgotten. As long as no one reminded them of the kiss, Keith reckoned they’ll get along well. He wanted it to stay this way. Besides, he was starting to admit to himself that perhaps he might have been too hasty in dismissing Carl as just another heartless Casanova.

 

They were both in high spirits by the time they closed up shop. They hopped into Carl’s beat up ute and headed off for dinner at Lee’s.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

“That was better than I expected.” Carl said, smiling as they pulled over in the driveway.

 

“Yeah.” Keith replied, tired but happy.

 

“Hope we can keep this up.”

 

“We can.” Keith assured him. “Business might get slow during off season but around this time when the island is filled with tourists, I reckon you can easily make up for it.”

 

“Hope so, mate.”Carl smiled at him as he cut off the engine. “Did I tell you about the first time I opened the bookstore in Perth? I had no customers until the third day. Bloody awful.”

 

Keith laughed in sympathy. “I’m starving, come on. Wait till you taste Lee’s cooking.”

 

“Considering I was planning to just grab a sammie on the way home earlier, I’m sure as hell looking forward to tea, mate.”

 

They walked over to Lee’s house, still recounting their experiences of the day. Only one of the ‘old guard’ had showed up at the bookstore. Apparently she was slow in updating through Mrs. Minnear’s gossip network. She too had left as soon as she saw the rainbow sticker without buying anything, prompting both of them of burst out laughing.

 

Lee opened the door for them and invited Carl inside the house. Caz nearly bowled Keith over as she ran over to hug him. She looked hesitantly at Carl then hugged him shyly as well.

 

Carl stooped down and hugged Caz back warmly. Keith felt a lump rising to his throat. Carl was rapidly accumulating brownie points with him. Caz had rapidly taken a liking to the big man, it seems.

 

Lee led the way to the dining room. The fare wasn’t anything special – prawns and steak - but Lee had a rare gift for cooking. Carl asked for second helpings to everything, prompting Caz to chastise Keith. She figured Keith would be as tall as Carl if he also ate as much, to their amusement.

 

After dinner, they sat around on the verandah drinking beer and talking about the bookstore and its future. Lee suggested adding some computers with internet connection in the reading lounge so people can browse reviews for books if they want. Carl liked the idea immediately. The two workstations they already had were connected and networked anyway so it wasn’t too much trouble to set up more in the shop.

 

“You have Kajura eyes.” Caz blurted out suddenly. She had been staring at Carl curiously for the last minute.

 

“I have a what?” Carl laughed uncertainly.

 

“Your eyes.” Caz pointed.

 

“What’s a Kajura?” Carl asked.

 

Lee laughed. “The rainbow serpent. Aboriginal myth.”

 

Keith glanced at Lee in surprise. Lee was one of the ‘stolen generation’. One of the thousands of ‘half-caste’ aboriginal children forcibly taken from their mothers and their tribes by the Australian government from 1869 to as late as the 1970’s. He had only told Keith and his mother about it once, but Keith knew that Lee didn’t even know for sure which tribe he had originally belonged to. He was only a baby when he was taken.

 

Lee shrugged at Keith’s expression, smiling. “I’ve been reading her dreamtime stories.”

 

“Well… Thanks, I guess, Caz.” Carl said, pinching her cheeks lightly, making her giggle.

 

“They’re pretty.” Caz said shyly. “They look like sunflowers on a blue sky.”

 

Carl laughed, not quite used to anything about him being called ‘pretty’.

 

“They are.” Keith said without thinking. Blushing when he realized what he had said, he hastily added, “It’s heterochromia right?”

 

“Yeah. Cat eyes.” Carl nodded, a strange expression of amusement on his face as he looked at Keith. “Or snake eyes if Caz prefers.” He turned back to Caz and smiled. “The gold bit used to be smaller, no one noticed it much back then. It got larger as I got older.”

 

“It’s genetic, right?” Lee asked.

 

“Yeah. I’m probably a chimera since no one in my family has it.” Carl grinned. “Two sets of DNA. Two people in one. Probably explains why I’m gay.” He laughed. “Don’t really know for sure, though.”

 

Lee laughed with him. “Did you know we aboriginals call gay people ‘two-ones’ as well?”

 

“Since when did you get so interested in aboriginal stuff, Lee?” Keith teased.

 

Lee reddened. “Well you know I pretty much grew up white, but yeah… lately I’ve been fascinated by our culture. Finding my own roots back I guess.” He smiled uncertainly, a certain sadness creeping into his eyes. “I’m teaching Caz to be proud of hers.”

 

It was Keith’s turn to blush. “I’m sorry… I…”

 

“It’s alright, Keith. It’s not your fault.” Lee said kindly. “To be honest, it’s alien to me as well, but I like it.”

 

“I have books on that if you want.” Carl offered. “Storybooks for Caz as well.”

 

“That’s great, mate.” Lee said. “We’ll come by the store sometime again this week, then.”

 

Caz yawned. Lee took that as a signal. “Time for bed, Caz.”

 

“Aww, Dad.”

 

“You have school tomorrow, Caz.”

 

Caz grumbled then turned to Carl. “You’ll come again, right? Keith lives next door!” She added, pointing at Keith’s house.

 

Keith had to blush again. Where had Caz gotten the idea that Carl was here for him?

 

“Will do, Caz.” Carl assured her. He looked at his watch. “Speaking of which, I’d better be going. Thanks for tea and the beer, Lee.”

 

“No problem, mate. Thanks for the company. Caz’s invitation stands from me as well… and Keith’s.” Lee replied, glancing over at Keith. “You’re welcome here anytime, mate.”

 

Caz hugged both Keith and Carl one more time before following her father back inside.

 

Carl and Keith walked across the driveway to Keith’s house in silence. Reaching the steps towards his verandah, Keith turned to face Carl. He suddenly felt awkward.

 

Keith was keenly aware of the shift in their relationship. The fact that they were standing right in front of Keith’s house didn’t help. In movies, these kinds of situations usually led to a kiss goodnight.

 

Keith was terrified to find that he was actually hoping it would lead to a kiss in this case.

 

When Keith still didn’t say anything, Carl broke the silence with a shrug and a smile. “Fun day, huh?”

 

“Yeah.” Keith agreed, looking down at his feet and swallowing nervously.

 

“I…” Carl took a step closer.

 

Keith involuntarily stepped back.

 

He was torn inside. Just two days ago he had vowed a never at Carl. Now he felt like taking it back.

 

The only real emotion he was sure of was that he was still afraid.

 

Afraid of what might happen if he did let Carl inside the shields he had carefully built around himself through the years.

 

Carl let out a sigh but didn’t comment at Keith’s reaction. “I guess more tomorrow?”

 

Keith nodded silently, still not trusting himself to look at those eyes.

 

“Good night, Keith.” Carl said softly before walking back to his parked ute. He started the vehicle up and drove away.

 

“Good night.” Keith whispered minutes later to the silence of the driveway. He walked up the steps, unlocked the door and let himself inside the house that suddenly felt a whole lot emptier.