A Long List of Nevers - 5. Chapter 5

“Keith.” Carl pleaded again.

Keith ignored him as he picked up the empty bottles. He stuck one in a thigh pocket of his shorts and carried the remaining two. His expression was stormy as he started off for the footpath. His lips were still tingling from the kiss, but he angrily told himself to stop thinking about it.

“Keith… come on, mate.” Carl pleaded again, struggling to keep up with him. They climbed back up to the top, Keith still refusing to look at Carl.

Carl abruptly halted, yanking Keith’s cuffed arm back. “Look, mate. I’m not taking another step until you talk to me.”

Keith let out a low growl of frustration. Slowly he turned back and faced Carl, his brown eyes burning with anger. “What the fuck was that?” He demanded

“Look I’m sorry. It’s just…” Carl ran his fingers through his hair helplessly. “You looked so damned sad, mate. I…”

“So you wanted to spread a little good cheer by kissing me? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“No… I…” Carl stammered. “Look, I’m sorry. I just… I missed you so damn much.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Keith demanded again, a look of confusion now mingling with his fury.

“I…” Carl’s words died in his throat as he looked quizzically over Keith’s head.

Keith turned around to see what had caught Carl’s attention. At first, he couldn’t see anything wrong. He saw the beach house, the tables, the bunting strung along the deck… then he realised that it was dark. Too dark.

The bonfire was dead! So were the lights.

“Oh fuck.” Keith whispered in alarm. “Come on, dipshit.” He tugged at their cuffs. Carl didn’t resist as they took off running.

They hurried down the embankment to the house. As they got closer, Keith could already deduce what had happened. There was nobody in sight, nobody at all. The bonfire had been doused with sand, the rubbish piled up in a corner, and the barbies and the eskys were gone. He quickly dropped off the empty bottles he had been carrying on an empty table and rushed up the deck with Carl.

Keith continued muttering a stream of curses as they hurried to the silent house. He felt his way along the living room wall and tried switching on the room light.

Nothing. The fluorescent tube just sat there, obstinately dark in the moonlight-flooded room.

Keith’s mantra of swearwords progressively got louder and louder as they rushed towards the front door. They reached the end of the driveway in time to see a pair of red taillights disappear into the distance.

There were no cars left around them.

“Fuck!” Keith screamed.

Carl sat beside Keith in the red dirt, absently plucking at a clump of spear grass. His massive shoulders were hunched over in guilt. If they hadn’t stopped on the bluff they would have caught the last car.

Keith was beside him doing what could only be described as an arcane one-armed seated dance. He was twisting this way and that, stretching his left arm away from his body in a variety of positions. In his hand was a mobile phone.

If they weren’t so desperate, it would have been ridiculously funny.

“Why did you have to leave your fucking phone in the car?” Keith demanded for the hundredth time.

“I just wanted to enjoy the party.” Carl answered quietly. “Didn’t want no interruptions.”

“You could have just turned it off, idiot.”

“I…” Carl didn’t know what to say to that.

Keith gave up with a sigh and lowered his arm. They had spent the last thirty minutes wandering around the grounds trying to find a signal for their only phone – Keith’s - with no luck.

“Won’t they realize we’re gone?” Carl offered.

“Sure. Maybe two days later, dumbfuck.” Keith retorted angrily. “The guys you came with here probably thought you left with the guys I came with here, and vice versa. We’re in deep shit, Carl.”

They had already figured out what had happened. The generator, only used at most twice a year, had died around an hour earlier. That had prompted Wazza and Pat to make good of their earlier promise. The whole party had migrated back up north to merge with the main midsummer celebrations hosted by the mayor.

They should have taken the earlier blackout as a warning, Keith thought.

It was still only one in the morning, and with the amount of people in the other party, it would be a while before anyone realized they were missing. They could be stuck out here at least until dawn, or in a worst case scenario, for days.

Keith cursed. There was only one thing they could do. “We’re gonna have to walk.”

“How far is it to town?” Carl asked.

“Eight kilometres.” Keith replied tightly.

“That’s a bit far isn’t it?”

“Two hours or so of walking.”

“In the middle of the night.” Carl added, sighing.

“So? You want to stay here?”

“ There’s food and water in the house, right?”

“We’re walking and that’s that.” Keith declared.

They rummaged around the house for some water and food, undoubtedly needed since part of the journey was through the western slope of the December mountain, the mountain that covered most of the southern end of Cronek. Carl also unearthed a torch, some towels, and a backpack in the kitchen counter. They stuffed all they can into the backpack, which Carl elected to carry, then set out into the dark road.

The road was out in the open for a kilometre, bounded only by the ubiquitous scrub of the Australian bush. Well-lit from the moonlight, they had no problems making their way on the slightly uphill dusty hard-packed dirt and gravel. Reaching the top of a low rise, they sighted the beginnings of the December mountain rainforests. Thick tangles of trees and ferns lay on both sides, the jagged spine of the mountain rising beyond it. The road was a pitch black tunnel in the middle, looking very much like the yawning mouth of some gigantic hump-backed monster.

The moment they set foot inside the sharp divide between the moonlit road and the pitch black shadows, they were surrounded by an eerie silence. The canopy above them was so thick that they could only see bits and pieces of the sky peeking through like disembodied dark blue tiles of a jigsaw puzzle. It felt like walking upside down on the ceiling of a black corridor with blue mosaic floors.

Carl started humming something quietly as they proceeded deeper into the silent forest, fidgeting with the straps of the backpack. Keith had switched on the torch but it only served to make it harder for their eyes to adjust to the contrast of the darkness around them. At least it illuminated the road and the backwash made them visible to each other.

“Do you have snakes here?” Carl asked cheerfully after a while.

“No.”

“Crocs?”

“No.”

“Spiders?”

“No.”

“Giant venomous mosquitoes?”

“No.”

“Poison Goannas?”

“No.”

“Anything large and carnivorous at all?”

“No. Fuck, mate. Just belt up, okay?” Keith exclaimed in exasperation.

They walked for some distance in silence before Carl piped up again. “How much of the island has actually been explored?”

Keith didn’t bother answering. He was drunk, he was tired, and he was still fuming from the earlier kiss. Besides, he knew perfectly well the island had nothing dangerous on it. At least not on land. The sea, like the rest of Australia’s western coast was another matter.

“I bet you guys have some undiscovered giant marsupial predator hidden somewhere in these forests.” Carl blabbed on. “Preying on unsuspecting tourists wandering too far from the tour groups. Maybe they have barbs on their hind limbs or something like the platypus and they sting people with them. Then while they are writhing in agony on the ground they eat ‘em up alive. Starting with the feet.”

“Platypuses are monotremes, not marsupials.” Keith interrupted tiredly. Most of the road was uphill and his leg muscles were already burning.

“Right.” Carl glanced up at the dark branches above them. “Not that then. Maybe… maybe you have drop bears. A surviving population from the mainland. Isolated for thousands of years, they continue to spread havoc on unwitting animals and people braving these roads at night. The giant island drop bear of Cronek. Fearsome predator of the rainforest.”

“You do know you’re sounding a bit hysterical don’t you?”

“But you said you guys never come here at night. You have no idea what kinds of animals are in here.”

“You should’ve grabbed that jar of vegemite back in the house then. Spread it all over your hair.” Keith replied, referring to the age-old ridiculous lore of drop bear repellents.

“They’re watching us right now.” Carl whispered, ignoring Keith’s sarcasm. While his face betrayed no amusement whatsoever, it was obvious that he was enjoying teasing Keith.

“Newsflash: Koalas are in the east. Bet you haven’t even seen a Koala in your life.”

“Koalas aren’t drop bears. And I have too.” Carl protested. After a pause, he added “At the Perth Zoo.”

Keith sniggered. “Wait, you’re from Perth?”

“Yeah.”

“I lived there for a while.” Keith said quietly. “Where –“

Keith was interrupted by the unmistakable sound of something heavy crashing through the foliage from above, followed by a ground-shaking thud.

“Oh fuuuuck!” Carl howled, taking Keith into his arms in pure terror.

Keith blinked in surprise as he was suddenly squeezed tightly against Carl’s broad chest.

Several seconds of silence ticked by with nothing else happening.

“What the fuck was that?” Carl whispered against Keith’s ear, eyes roaming the darkness.

“I can’t breathe.” Keith croaked.

“Sorry.” Carl loosened his grip but still kept his arms around Keith. Keith squirmed but Carl wouldn’t let him go.

Keith gave up, let out a dramatic sigh, and pointed up with his free hand. Carl’s eyes followed.

Visible through a patch of sky above them and waving gently in the night breeze were the tops of a grove of coconut trees.

Even in the darkness Keith could almost see Carl turn beet red. Keith started to giggle. Carl followed suit, a deep rumbling chuckle that resounded against Keith’s chest. In a moment they were both collapsing in laughter.

“Oh jesus, that was stupid, mate.” Keith spluttered between breaths.

“I know.” Carl admitted sheepishly, letting go of Keith at last.

“Serves you right, though.”

Their laughter trailed away, but their faces were still wreathed with smiles at the experience. They continued walking, the atmosphere between them a bit lighter.

“So can we talk about it now?” Carl asked hesitantly beside him after a while.

“About the what?” Keith feigned innocence even if he knew full well what Carl was referring to.

“The kiss.” Carl replied simply. A serious expression was back on his face.

Keith shrugged as he trudged on. He really didn’t want to talk about it, but if Carl was so adamant…

“Why were you mad at me, mate?” Carl asked.

“It was my first.” Keith finally admitted quietly.

Carl’s eyes widened a bit but his expression was still puzzled.

“And it was paid for.” Keith continued, looking grimmer by the second.

“Why exactly…”

“Look.” Keith stopped in the middle of the road. “I have never ever been kissed in my life. That, in itself, is pathetic. I know. But I don’t appreciate having my first being from someone who was paid to do it.”

“What?” Carl shot back, incredulous. “What do you mean ‘paid for’? Mate, I just wanted to kiss you. No one forced me to and no one definitely paid me to.”

Keith raised their linked arms at Carl. “This. This was paid for.”

“So?”

“So if you weren’t cuffed to me tonight, would you have kissed me at all? There were a dozen other single guys in that party tonight. All of them taller, stronger, a helluva lot better looking than me.” Keith was getting angrier by the second again. “You’re just peering through beer goggles mate. I may be a fucking virgin, but I’m not that desperate and –“

“But –“ Carl tried to interrupt.

Keith raised a hand up to silence him. “And you beautiful people always seem to think it’s your god-given calling to sacrifice your appetite in deigning to give us ugly folks a kiss or a quick pity fuck ever so often. Spreading a little love and then expecting us to swoon all over you and be in your debt forevermore. Well guess what, Sir Knight-in-Boardies, I ain’t no fucking damsel in distress.”

Keith was staring defiantly up at Carl. For the first time since meeting him, Keith could see a flash of real anger in those blue-gold depths.

“For all your whinging, you’re doing the exact same thing to me, mate.” Carl growled. Keith frowned, not understanding him at all. “Since when did you get so fucking wrapped up in self-pity?”

“Since the whole fucking world decided to take a dump on me, Mr. Perfect Guy.”

“So because you had a sad life, that gives you the right to patronize me? You don’t even have any idea what I’ve been through, you just… met me.” Carl seemed to hesitate at his last words, but his anger was still evident.

“Ooh.” Keith exclaimed sarcastically. “What sort of problems have you had then? That one Tuesday when you had a bad hair day perhaps? Or perhaps that tragic, tragic September where you were dropped by your supermodel boyfriend and had to spend a whole week looking for a new one?”

“Fuck you.”

“No, fuck you.”

Unable to stomp off from each other because of the cuffs linking them, they settled on turning away in opposite directions. Keith fuming audibly and Carl glowering silently into the darkness.

Minutes passed by without any of them moving or saying anything. Keith had turned off the torch and so their eyes had to adjust to the dark. Gradually the impenetrable blackness of the shadows retreated as their pupils dilated. The road became visible to them in muted blues. More grey than blue really. The only splashes of color were the deep blue shards of the night sky twinkling with the southern constellations. Everything else was desaturated.

A rustling from the nearby shrubs made both of them swivel around. From behind a bush, what looked like a small ball of spines tumbled out and shook itself indignantly. It then trotted across the road, an arm’s length from the dumbstruck men.

It was an echidna. There was more rustling in the bushes followed by several more spiny bodies ambling out, trotting after the first one purposefully. They trooped past Keith and Carl, who had by now completely forgotten their earlier confrontation at the sight.

One by one they passed by them and one by one they disappeared into the underbrush on the other side of the road. The last one squeezed itself into the dense growth and once again everything resumed their silent surreal blueness.

Keith was the first to break the silence. “That was awesome.” He whispered.

“Yeah.” Carl agreed, also whispering.

“That was a female, by the way. The lead one. The rest are her suitors.”

Carl nodded absently, still staring at the place where the impromptu parade had disappeared.

“This is stupid.” Keith added out of nowhere.

“Yeah.”

“I’m talking about this. Us.”

“I know.”

Keith sighed and faced Carl, his brown eyes meeting his blue-gold, both reduced to a pale gray-blue in the absence of light. “We’re still… what… four?” Carl shrugged at the question. “Four kilometres from town and we’re standing here in the middle of a dirt road arguing about a kiss.”

“At three AM in the morning.” Carl added.

“Piss-drunk and tired.” Keith was already starting to smile.

“Jumping at shadows.”

“Coconuts really.”

“While echidnas walk past us.” The both chuckled at that.

“So…” Keith offered a hand hesitantly.

“Peace.” Carl finished, grinning. He took the offered hand and shook it. It was a bit stilted since Keith had offered his uncuffed left hand and Carl had to shake it with his uncuffed right.

Letting go, they both looked at each other awkwardly.

“Can I get a drink of water?” Keith asked.

“Sure, mate.” Carl turned around partially as Keith rummaged for the water bottle in the backpack.

Keith drank deeply, already realizing how tired he really was. He handed it to Carl who also took a drink. They stashed it back and resumed walking. Both now determined not to bring up the subject of the kiss at whatever cost.

Both also didn’t know what else to say either. Everything so far had devolved to arguments. So they opted to maintain an awkward, albeit warily amicable, silence.

Keith didn’t bother turning the torch back on, and Carl didn’t complain. The forest looked far less menacing without the harsh glare of the torch creating artificial shadow/light contrasts anyway. And the road was perfectly visible to them now.

They emerged from the thick rainforest back into scrubland a while later. The moon greeted them, already halfway up its zenith.

Muscles screaming, brain shutting down, Keith finally halted. Carl walked a couple of steps more before realizing that Keith had stopped. He looked back at Keith with an expression of concern.

“Fuck, I’m exhausted, mate.” Keith gasped out. He hadn’t said a word about it during the whole trek but he was really tired… and drunk… and sleepy. Sweat was dripping from the end of his nose into the dusty road.

Carl wasn’t even breathing hard. He put a hand hesitantly on Keith’s back. His hand came up wet with Keith’s perspiration. “We’ll rest for a bit, mate.”

Carl led them to a solitary mango tree beside the road. Keith was too tired to protest as Carl sat them down against the trunk.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Carl chided softly, rummaging through the backpack for the towel they had brought with them. He vigorously wiped away Keith’s sweat from his brow.

Keith murmured a muffled protest but Carl ignored it. He hitched up Keith’s shirt and laid the towel flat against his sweaty back to absorb the moisture. He pulled it back down and leaned him back against the tree again. Rummaging further from the pack he pulled out the bottles of water and some sandwiches. Keith drank gratefully when Carl offered the bottle to him. Carl offered him a sandwich as well.

Keith bit into his hungrily. He hadn’t really eaten much earlier and his stomach, appetite whetted by the beer, had been growling for hours now. He finished it in a few seconds, and ate another while Carl absently munched on his.

Sated, Keith leaned his head back against the rough bark of the tree.

“Rest, Keith.” Carl encouraged. “I’ll wake you up in a bit.”

Keith fell asleep the moment he closed his eyes.

Carl finished his sandwich and sat staring at Keith’s sleeping form. He reached a finger and carefully brushed away a stray breadcrumb from Keith’s chin. Then as if giving in, he sighed and gently pulled Keith against him. He tucked him against his chest, careful not to wake him up.

“Oh Keith…” Carl whispered to no one in particular.