A Long List of Nevers - 19. Chapter 19

“You guys know each other?” Brett asked, surprised and oblivious to the fact that Keith had gone pale with shock.

“Oh yes, we went to the same high school together.” Josh replied. He had still not taken his eyes off Keith. His brown eyes were warm and friendly, showing no trace of the monster underneath.

Just like before.

“Didn’t we, Keith?”

“That’s great. Small world, eh?” Brett chuckled.

“So how are you, Keith?”

“Stop it, Josh.”

“Ooh. Looks like you made his boyfriend mad.”

“The poof thinks he’s on first name basis with you.”

“Josh, stop it. What the fuck are you doing?”

The sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he watched him draw back a fist.

This can’t be happening.

Pain.

“What are you doing here?” Keith’s voice was hoarse, he felt like none of the air he was gulping was reaching his lungs.

“Oh just thinking of investing here, that’s all.” Josh nodded his handsome head at Brett, still not breaking eye contact with Keith. “Brett here was interested in setting up a gym.”

“Yeah. It’s for John, so don’t tell him. It’s a surprise.” Brett smiled, unaware of the tension in the air. “We’ve been planning to start one for years.”

Keith couldn’t breathe, his whole world shrunk into those twinkling brown eyes looking back at him. No trace of malice in them, but he knew better. Choking, he shoved his way past several tourists and ran outside.

Brett eyes followed him quizzically. “I’ll be right back.” He told Josh and got up to run after Keith.

He found Keith on the shrubbery beside the driveway, retching.

“What’s wrong?” Brett approached him. He reached out a hand and gently stroked his back as Keith dry heaved again. “Was it something you ate? I’ll have a word with Pat –“

“What is he doing here?” Keith managed to gasp out, mouth bitter with bile. His eyes were swimming in tears from both the memories and the nausea.

“He’s an investor. Wait, why…”

“Brett, don’t trust him. Don’t even go near him, please.”

“What? Why?”

Kat and Miri had rushed out of the pub. They looked around the driveway before spotting them in the darkness. They ran over hurriedly.

“What’s wrong?” Miri was the first to ask. She pointedly ignored Brett and hurried to Keith’s side.

“What did you do?!” Kat demanded, glaring at Brett.

“Nothing!” Brett’s eyes were wide with bewilderment now as Kat shoved him back away from Keith.

“It’s not Brett.” Keith closed his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to get the feeling of tightness away from his chest, the memory of broken ribs and the feeling of drowning in blood. “It’s Josh.”

“Who’s Josh?”

“He’s the bloke I’m with. But…” Brett raised his hands and took a couple of steps back as Kat and Miri fixed venomous glares on him. “I don’t know why. He’s just someone who was willing to invest in the gym business idea.”

“He’s the guy.” Keith said, standing straighter now. His voice calmer.

“The guy who…”

“You mean…”

It was both Kat and Brett’s turn to look at Keith in shock.

“What do you mean the guy?” Miri asked blankly.

Keith just nodded.

Instantly, Brett’s face contorted in fury. Before any of them could think of stopping him, Brett had turned around and was walking back toward the pub. His fists clenched and unclenched ominously at his sides.

Kat was off in a flash, barring his way. “No, Brett. No, you’re a cop!”

“Out of my way, Kat.”

“He’s not worth it, seriously. Brett, look at me, mate.”

“Out of my way, Kat!” He roared.

“No!”

“Get the fuck out of –“ Brett stopped. Keith had wrapped his arms around his back.

“It’s alright, Brett.” Keith said softly.

“But –“

“It’s alright.”

“Fuck, mate. To think I actually thought… He had the fucking nerve to just sit there like nothing had ever happened. He deserves…” He was blabbering, trying to find a way to express the anger he felt. Keith just let him, never relinquishing his restraining grip.

When Brett finally ran out of expletives, he stopped and gave a great shuddering sigh. Keith had just tightened his hug in response.

“What the fuck’s going on?” Miri asked.

Kat just shot her a glance, warning her to stay quiet.

“I… I’m sorry.” Brett whispered. He turned around and enveloped Keith in a protective hug.

“You couldn’t have known.” Keith said quietly. “Kat’s right, anyway. He’s not worth it.”

“I…” Brett looked up at the night sky, starless from the glare of the streetlights. He heaved another sigh. “You’re right.”

Kat joined in on the hug, her eyes shining from unshed tears.

“Can someone please tell me what’s wrong?” Miri stared at the three of them, unsure what to do.

Kat just beckoned her to come closer. They opened their arms and let her in as well. Squeezed between them, she glanced quizzically between the three.

“Where’s Carl?” Brett asked, breaking the group hug. From his tone, it was obvious that Kat had already told him about him and Keith.

“He had to go to Perth for the week.” Kat answered for Keith.

“Right. You’re coming home with us tonight then, Keith.” Brett announced. Keith didn’t protest as Brett took his hand and led them to where he had parked his car.

“But what about that guy, Brett?” Miri asked, still not understanding what was happening.

“Let him rot.”

Brett opened the door for Keith. He got in and started the car without sparing another glance at the pub. They drove off for his house, Kat and Miri following behind them in their own car. He had left Josh alone with no transportation back to his hotel.

John opened the door a short while after he heard them pull into the driveway. He stood there looking at their glum faces for a moment, then he stepped aside silently to let them in. He avoided meeting Brett’s eyes as they trooped past him.

Keith made a beeline for the nearest armchair and sat down. He was still a bit stunned at seeing Josh again after all these years. Brett took the opposite chair while Kat and Miri sat on the lounge.

John had gone to the kitchen. He returned with a pitcher full of orange juice. He poured all of them a glass. He pulled a chair from a nearby desk and sat down, still refusing to meet Brett’s gaze.

Keith drank his thirstily, grateful to wash down the bitter taste of vomit.

None of them had said one word since they arrived.

“Brett?” John’s voice was quavering a little. He was looking down at the carpet. “Why’d you do it?”

All of them turned their eyes on John.

“Am I not good enough anymore?” John asked, his eyes finally meeting Brett’s.

Brett just looked at him blankly.

It was Keith who reacted first. He started chuckling. “Damn, we’ve forgotten all about that.”

“What?” Brett looked around at them. “John, what’s wrong?” He started to reach a hand towards him.

“You could’ve just told me!” John yelled at him. He stood up, brushing away the proffered hand none too gently.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Brett frowned.

“I don’t know, you tell me!”

“Guys…” Miri said.

“How can I fucking tell you if I don’t even know what got your panties in a twist!” Brett roared back at John, rising from his seat. “I’m not really in the mood for shouting matches right now.”

“Fucking coward!”

“Ok, this will sound really stupid –” Keith began but was interrupted by yet another answering shout. John was close to tears and mad as hell. Brett, still pissed off at not being given the chance to pound Josh flat, wasn’t backing away either. They stood there nose to nose, towering over the rest of them; yelling at each other loud enough to wake the whole island. Keith, Kat, and Miri tried to calm them down so they could explain, but the sheer volume of the shouting match issuing from two angry large men drowned out their words.

“SHUT UP!” Kat finally screamed.

They both fell silent.

“John, he didn’t do anything.” Keith spoke up, taking advantage of the lull.

John’s eyes widened and looked at Keith. Like a tautly stretched rubber band snapping back, all the tension immediately drained from his body. He relaxed his tightly clenched fists. “He didn’t?”

“No.”

With a sob, he threw his arms around the startled Brett.

Brett didn’t complain. He hugged back tightly, murmuring soothing words to John who was now crying openly. He let himself be rained with kisses as he looked back at Keith. “Can someone explain to me what just happened?”

Miri let out a nervous laugh. “Brett, the reason why we were there was to see if you were having an affair with that guy.”

“An affair?!”

“I know. But John asked us…” Miri trailed off.

Brett turned back to John. “John. I’ll never ever cheat on you, mate. What the bloody hell made you think that?” He kissed him softly.

“You were being evasive all of a sudden when I ask you about what you were doing with that guy. I can’t help but be worried...”

Hiccups punctuated John’s sentences and he was still red from crying, but he was smiling sheepishly. Coming from a guy as well-built as John, it was mildly amusing… and awfully sweet. Keith suddenly felt an intense longing for Carl.

“Silly bastard. Honesty was one of things we promised each other, remember? And if there’s one thing you should know about me by now, it’s that I always keep my promises.” Brett smiled gently as he wiped John’s tears away. “It was a surprise. Remember the gym we always wanted? So you don’t have to teach all your yoga classes outside?”

John nodded.

“I was trying to get a deal on that with that guy.”

“I’m sorry.” John hugged him again. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too. I’m sorry for shouting.” Brett kissed him. “It’s just not been the best of nights.”

Keith smiled wryly as Brett looked at him. Despite everything, he was feeling a whole lot better now. John and Brett’s little scene was heartwarming, and being reminded that he had Carl now was enough to dull the memories of Josh.

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” John asked. “When you came in, you were all looking about as happy as bastards on a Father’s Day. I thought the worst.”

“He turned out to be Josh.” Brett replied, scowling.

“Who’s Josh?”

“Yeah, who the fuck is Josh?” Miri echoed.

“I think it’s better if we eat dinner first.” John suggested, noting Keith was looking a bit pale.

“So he’s out now?” Keith asked. All five of them were sprawled all over John and Brett’s bed. Kat and Miri had decided to stay instead of going home, mostly to keep Keith company but partly because Miri wanted to know the story behind Josh.

“Yeah, he’s definitely making no secret about being gay.” Brett replied beside him. John was curled up against him, worn out from the earlier confrontation but still as intensely curious about Josh’s identity as Miri was.

“I wonder how his parents are gonna take that. And why the fuck is he here?”

“Didn’t your mum get a restraining order against him after what happened?”

“Yeah, I suppose it expired years ago.”

“So tell us already.” Miri demanded from the other side. John was from Melbourne while Miri was from Broome. Both came to Cronek long after the incident. After telling his friends about it years ago, Keith had avoided thinking about it, much less talking about it again.

“You sure you can talk about it? After your reaction earlier…” Kat glanced worriedly over at Keith.

“Of course, I mean… if you can talk about it.” Miri amended.

“No, it’s alright. I was just shocked to see him after all these years. After what happened, I didn’t see him again. Mum transferred me immediately to another boarding school as soon as I was released from the hospital. I’ve avoided thinking about it for years.”

“Start from the beginning.” Miri said.

Keith took a deep breath. He reminded himself that he wasn’t in danger anymore. Not with his friends here. Kat will probably spread Josh’s identity to the rest of the islanders, and hopefully that will be enough to drive him away. No one will take his investment money if they knew who he was.

“I just turned eighteen.” He began. “In my last year of high school. I was in a boarding school in Perth. Like Kat, I reckon.”

“I went to a different school.” Kat agreed. “And Brett went to Melbourne to his uncle, right?”

“Yeah, that’s where we met.” John smiled and kissed Brett fondly.

“I went to Greenwell. It was a Uniting Church school, they’re supposed to be more tolerant than the Catholic schools of open homosexuality, but yeah… it’s all talk. The moment I first heard someone crack a fag joke in class, I decided to stay closeted. First three years were pretty lonely. I missed the Poofter Patrol.” Keith smiled.

Kat and Brett nodded, they both felt the same way when they all separated for secondary schooling.

“But Josh was gay, yeah?” John asked.

“Yeah. When I turned eighteen I got a bit of reprieve. I could finally get in the gay bars in Perth. That’s where I met him.” He laughed. “I was shocked, of course. He was the Centre Half-Forward in the school football team, and from what I know of him that time, a notorious ladies’ man. He was wearing a hoodie but I recognized him immediately. He panicked when he saw me and left.

“A couple of days later, he approached me in the hallways and asked me if we could talk. I agreed and he took me home to his apartment. He told me I couldn’t tell anybody. He was an Avery, rich powerful family from Albany and he couldn’t risk being found out. Tall poppies. Very conservative parents who’d disown him if they ever found out he was gay. He was… so nice and he really looked scared about it. I told him I wasn’t going to tell anyone about it anyway, even if he hadn’t approached me.

“We struck a sort of hidden friendship. I’d regularly come over to his house, do homework together, and we’d go to bars, that sort of stuff. You’ve all seen him, right? He’s gorgeous, so it wasn’t long before I realized I had a massive crush on him. He could be so deceptively kind even if he actually had a reputation of being the meanest bastard in school. I saw flashes of his dangerous temper at times, but I was so dazzled by him that I ignored them.”

“Shit, you were in love with him?” Miri asked, frowning at the ceiling.

“Yeah, sort of. When we were together, he made you feel like you were special. Even though we really didn’t do anything sexual, he flirted with me shamelessly. Josh was big, handsome, and gay. He was spending a lot of time with me and that was all it took for me. I didn’t have a lot of friends in there so I guess I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. Didn’t even stop me that he ignored me completely on-campus.” Keith sighed and rearranged the pillow beneath his head.

“Oh boy.” Miri murmured in sympathy.

“Anyway it happened when I was on the first month of my senior year. I was coming back from jogging and was going to the locker room for a quick shower and a change of clothes before class. When I came in, the football team was there. They had just finished practice, I think.

“Josh was there. They were picking on this little nerdy guy who had the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. They were calling him a fag and all that. From what I could gather from the rest of the team, the kid had stared at Josh too long. Locker room shit like that happened pretty often, so I ignored it. They usually leave people alone sooner or later anyway.

“But the kid made matters worse. He was actually trying to fight back. The footballers were encouraging Josh to just beat him up. ‘Teach the fag some morals’, they said. I was horrified to see Josh do just that, he started shoving the kid around roughly. Words are one thing, fists are another. I should have called the teachers by then I guess, but… it was Josh. No matter who he may act like in school, we were friends. At least I thought I was. I thought I could stop him on my own.

“So yeah, I asked him to stop. That’s when he turned his attention to me. The next thing I knew, he was beating the shit out of me. He wasn’t pulling back punches, not responding to my pleas, he just… went to town on me.” Keith gave a hollow laugh.

“Fucking hell.” John erupted.

“But why would he do that?” Miri asked.

“I don’t know. Probably because I made the mistake of calling him by his name, hinting perhaps that I know him in front of his friends. He probably was really scared of being losing his football star status or something.”

“Coward.” Brett spat.

“My thoughts exactly.” John replied beside him.

“Anyway that’s that. I had a concussion, several broken ribs, left shoulder was dislocated from trying to fend him off. It was lucky I blacked out a few minutes into it… but yeah. Fucking horrible experience.”

Both Kat and Brett reached for his hands, offering comfort. Keith squeezed them gratefully.

“I really thought he was going to kill me.” He said quietly. “When I woke up later I was in a hospital, mum was there and she was furious. Apparently Josh was deemed underage so all he got for it was a few weeks of community service. We weren’t fooled. His parents probably pulled a lot of strings for that. She transferred me immediately to another school and got a restraining order on Josh and we just forgot about it.” He shrugged. “I recovered pretty quickly, thankfully. I was still wrapped in bandages during most of my last year in high school, but at least I wasn’t bedridden. By graduation I was back here for Midsummer’s.”

“Damn. You should have let Brett teach him a lesson earlier.” Miri said, scowling.

Keith laughed. “No. Trust me, I appreciate the thought.” He snorted. “But that’s not really going to help anything except maybe put Brett behind bars.”

“Sounds fair to me.” Brett muttered.

“Besides, have you guys even looked at him? He’ll be more than a match even for you, Brett.”

“I could join in.” John volunteered.

They broke out laughing.

“You guys are insane, honestly.” Keith murmured. Impulsively, he stretched his arms to encompass the rest of them. “I love you, guys.”

They all snuggled closer to each other, smiling.

“This is nice.” Brett confessed. “I kinda miss our sleepovers when we were kids. You guys were there too when my maman died.” He smiled sadly. He was referring to his biological mother, Hannah’s partner, who was a French immigrant. “I remember when Keith was yea big.” He stretched his arms out five feet apart.

“He still is that big, Brett.” Kat said, grinning.

“Piss off!” Keith laughed. “You guys weren’t all that tall either.”

“I miss Hannah’s bikkies.” Kat murmured. “Remind me to stop by her house sometime, Brett.”

“Ugh, I remember Carl’s bikkies.”

That set off another round of laughter. They spent the rest of the night talking and laughing about their past escapades. By the time they finally fell asleep, Keith had completely forgotten about Josh.

He still missed Carl though.