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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Peter's Probationary Poems - 4. To remain unnamed - Poetry Prompt 9 - English Sonnet

WARNING.

This is not a happy poem. Don't read it if you are not in the mood for unpleasantness.

It is also meant as a contrast to the previous one.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

To remain nameless

 

Memories stored in hidden compartment,

never to open and visit again.

Shelved in shady and dusty department:

I wish to lock you there, you, my first man.

 

Presents and knick knacks are long thrown away,

devastation and anger have faded.

The pain that you caused me I can keep at bay,

what lingers is me feeling degraded.

 

You used me to clean your own messy dirt.

You infected me with your diseases.

You secretly laughed and knowing my hurt,

left me alone to pick up the pieces.

 

Yet for a short while you did give me wings,

providing a glimpse of love like great kings.

The prompt: write one English Sonnet about your first love. Remember, we are looking for the pivot point, so if the love ended sadly, contrast that with a moment of brightness; if it was joyous, contrast it with a moment of doubt that it might not last, etc., etc. You get the idea.
Copyright © 2016 J.HunterDunn; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Mikiesboy

If this is a true part of your life, I'm sorry that happened to you, Peter. You think you're rid of that person, but there's always something.

 

Haven't started this prompt yet, but I think you did a good job.

 

tim

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Puppilull

This was an unexpectedly hard prompt. I thought I had dealt with my own feelings, but writing it suddenly opened doors I didn't even knew existed.
I get the feeling it's the same for you. You opened a lid and unpleasant things poured out. Maybe you were more aware of what was lurking underneath the lid. There are strong feelings in there. Perhaps it's true what they say. The first cut is the deepest? I don't know.

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J.HunterDunn
On 01/18/2016 01:58 AM, Mikiesboy said:

If this is a true part of your life, I'm sorry that happened to you, Peter. You think you're rid of that person, but there's always something.

 

Haven't started this prompt yet, but I think you did a good job.

 

tim

Thank you, tim. When I saw the prompt my first reaction was to skip that one, but that felt cowardly. It happened so long ago it hardly matters anymore. And I have to admit I once really thought he was the love of my life.

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J.HunterDunn
On 01/18/2016 02:30 AM, Puppilull said:

This was an unexpectedly hard prompt. I thought I had dealt with my own feelings, but writing it suddenly opened doors I didn't even knew existed.

I get the feeling it's the same for you. You opened a lid and unpleasant things poured out. Maybe you were more aware of what was lurking underneath the lid. There are strong feelings in there. Perhaps it's true what they say. The first cut is the deepest? I don't know.

You hit the nail there, Puppi. It is such a double feeling. On the one side you first love is the one who roused such strong feelings you never knew you had, but on the other hand he stole your ability to feel exactly the same ever again. I sensed that in your sonnet as well. Thank you for your review.

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Headstall

I so related to this, Peter. The rawness of feeling that you banish, but never quite obliterate. We all move on, and we learn from the bad, but we never truly forget. You did a great job here... I felt each and every word... well done, my friend... cheers... Gary...

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Doctor Oger

It is very straightforward, formally correct and delectable to read.
You're good at this. It's impressive how natural all your poems sound.
Very well done, Sir Peter. I bow to you.

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Defiance19

You did a great job of portraying how you felt, and in doing so made me feel it too.. And now it's shelved again..
Well done Peter..

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AC Benus

It's a devastating poem. Some pieces are good to help with the forgetting process; others, with the remembering. As some reviews have said, this one is a poem to put those memories and feelings back on the shelf.

 

Knowing how happy you are now with your partner helps me remember the 'happy ending' this poem is not a part of.

 

Well done, Peter.

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J.HunterDunn
On 01/18/2016 04:29 AM, Headstall said:

I so related to this, Peter. The rawness of feeling that you banish, but never quite obliterate. We all move on, and we learn from the bad, but we never truly forget. You did a great job here... I felt each and every word... well done, my friend... cheers... Gary...

Thank you, Gary. We not only learn from the bad, but could we really appreaciate the good that comes our way if there hadn't been any bad to compare it with?

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J.HunterDunn
On 01/18/2016 01:01 PM, Doctor Oger said:

It is very straightforward, formally correct and delectable to read.

You're good at this. It's impressive how natural all your poems sound.

Very well done, Sir Peter. I bow to you.

Vielen Dank, Herr Doctor. I smiled when I read it, because I am so envious of the flowery way you are able to use language, and am never totally satisfied with the result of my efforts. So, I bow back to you.

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J.HunterDunn
On 01/18/2016 01:10 PM, Defiance19 said:

You did a great job of portraying how you felt, and in doing so made me feel it too.. And now it's shelved again..

Well done Peter..

Thanks Def for your praise. After replying to the reviews the door will be closed and the key thrown away.

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J.HunterDunn
On 01/18/2016 03:51 PM, AC Benus said:

It's a devastating poem. Some pieces are good to help with the forgetting process; others, with the remembering. As some reviews have said, this one is a poem to put those memories and feelings back on the shelf.

 

Knowing how happy you are now with your partner helps me remember the 'happy ending' this poem is not a part of.

 

Well done, Peter.

Thank you so much for your review, AC. The bad things tend to overshadow the good ones, that were most certainly there as well.

Your observation about the present is spot on: I'm a happy man now.

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