The Star, The Demon, and The God - 47. Through the Mirror of Memories

Tobias

We are still in this old desert palace.

It is mostly by choice.

I am not entirely sure where we are supposed to go now. We did the deed and so the quest is finished.

What would be next for us?

I would have preferred to leave this place after fake-Yinx’s death, but Laneer is still mourning.

Luno is there to help keep him calm but magic won’t be able to heal that kind of damage. As sad as that may be, staying here is only going to delay his healing.

At the moment, I am sitting on a pile of dead angels.

Luno is holding Laneer’s head in his lap with his hands on either side of his face.

Small tendrils of golden light seep into Laneer’s head.

They are supposed to calm and keep the Sailor sleepy.

Surprisingly, this was Laneer’s idea.

He did not want to feel anything right now and so he asked Luno to put him under.

An hour and a half has passed since Yinx’s death.

I sigh and stare up at the ceiling of this cave.

“I’m hungry,” Luno says.

I smirk.

“Me too.”

It has been awhile since we last ate or slept. It was before we went into the forest of Drulai.

Unfortunately, it is still nighttime outside.

Morgoren has his claws on the sky right now and he doesn’t intend to let it go.

How we are supposed to get out of here is beyond me. We can’t exactly teleport to another realm through Laneer.

Well we could, but we’d have to go out into the moonlight to find a lake or something.

This day has been rough so far.

Perhaps the best thing about it was telling Drulai off.

She definitely deserved it for what she sent us to do.

Nobody has said anything but I realize that Yinx was what we were after.

Drulai said we were supposed to destroy something even if it felt wrong to do.

Who else could it be? It sure as hell isn’t this glowing silver plate right here.

What even is this?

The glowing plate is large. It is a half circle that sits on top of the pyramid.

At first, I thought the angels were after it but when that last angel went for Yinx, that made me think otherwise.

Gods...imagine trying to protect someone and then failing.

I don’t think I have ever seen something like that.

Laneer had tried to block the attack with his body but that wasn’t enough. The Angel’s sword went right through him and got Yinx!

He must feel awful.

Luno breaks the silence.

“Yinx told me something.”

I raise an eyebrow and look over at him.

“He said he was supposed to die; that it would bring his memories back to Raiyo. He would remember everything from the last few weeks of his life.”

I frown.

That was it? All this for a few weeks of memories?

What happened to him that is so important?

Okay that is somewhat of a dumb question.

I know about his being sacrificed and also him killing Laneer, but what else?

Yinx had said all his memories with Laneer were here. Did that really have such an affect on him? How?

No not just Laneer. He specifically said that that he removed all memories from the first day he met Laneer.

That has to more than a few weeks!

Was it more than just Laneer that was forgotten?

Did he forget about the two gods who were fighting against him?

I sit up a little too fast.

Luno jumps slightly at my movement, his magic faltering for a moment.

“He didn’t remember,” I gasp. “Raiyo didn’t remember what Morgoren did to him! He didn’t know that Morgoren was the reason he had died and killed Laneer! That was what Drulai was hoping for!”

Luno looks at me as if I have gone crazy.

I suppose I have because I am a bit too excited about this honestly.

Oh gods now I understand though!

Drulai was right! Maybe this really can bring Raiyo to our side!

Okay I get it, this was pretty fucked up for Laneer and he really shouldn’t have come with us for this quest, but oh my gods! We might actually have a chance of stopping Morgoren now!

Fuck!

I destroyed the mirror!

I stand up and start pacing.

What to do, what to do?

Should we wake Laneer and head to Drulai’s palace?

No that would be a bad idea.

Asking Laneer to go to that place after all that’s happened here is stupid.

Um...should we...head to Enfierna?

I know that is incredibly risky, but if this all worked, we’ll have Laneer show his face and boom! The lovely couple is back together again!

After that, Raiyo can locate Morgoren and kill him!

It will be wonderful!

“There’s something else,” Luno says, gently laying Laneer down and standing up.

“He said that Raiyo can die now. That curse has been lifted.”

I blink.

“What?” I breathe out.

I don’t know why, but hearing that does not feel natural. I have never even thought of Raiyo that way! It feels like an entirely different person!

I suppose it is a new person but...it’s one who could die...like me.

“We need to get to him,” I say. “We need to see if this all really worked.”

Luno frowns and shakes his head. “What? No! What if it didn’t work? Yinx was trapped here for hundreds of years! How would he know what worked or didn’t?”

“Oh please,” I wave it off. “He still had the memories of doing the deed. He knew what he was doing all along.”

He gestures to Laneer. “What about him? He isn’t going to want to do that.”

Damn that’s true.

I bite the inside of my cheek and tap my foot.

Shrugging, I walk over to him. “Well we came all this way. He lost someone close to him. We need to see if it worked at least. He should consider this as closure.”

~~~
~~~

The Ancient One

Raiyo rests his cheek on my thumb as we walk through Enfierna.

Since he had destroyed the castle, we must go to the only other building in this realm.

It has not been used for quite some time. It was turned into a special home for any demons who wished to stay there.

Since they had all died in the castle explosion, it is safe to say that it will be quite empty there.

Walking past the still steaming rubble of the castle makes my chest ache for the part of me that was destroyed.

Glancing down at Raiyo, I see he has a blank stare.

It is now that I realize he is breathing again. He hasn’t done that in forever!

I also eye the glowing orange lines that have formed along the sides of his face. They look like cracks in glass.

Those had formed when he was killing the gods.

I am not entirely sure what is going on with that honestly.

Should I be worried?

Continuing on, we follow a pale stoned path through the realm.

Enfierna is not very special. It is a world of different shades of red and black.

Streams of fire and rock line the dips in the hills behind the castle. Where the castle has pale trees lining the entrance, this path is lined with dark, scorched branches as far as the eye can see.

You can barely tell the difference between the land and sea. It blends together in the most subtle difference in black.

I suppose the glowing lava rivers help light up the land.

It is a very dark realm yet Raiyo cannot claim to have created it.

The God of Darkness was responsible for that.

Remnants of his time here still reside. Namely in the building we are headed to.

It was his home. His own palace that he had for himself.

That seems to be a trend with the gods, including Raiyo.

They want to live lavishly.

Obviously once Raiyo remembered his hatred for that, he put an end to it.

The God of Darkness’ palace was a lot different compared to the others. It went underground.

I stand before the entrance and take in the giant hole that was carefully carved into a side of a hill with a river running up top.

With a small wave of his hand, a door is lifted open.

I walk through the door and go down a set of stairs.

They lead to a long hallway full of doors. Each door was a for a demon. Each of them will be empty until the next group of angels fall from heaven.

With him still in my hand, I carry Raiyo all the way down the hall to the door at the end.

He opens the door with another wave of his hand.

We enter a room that must have belonged to the God of Darkness.

There is a large bed with silk black blankets. They even come with black pillowcases.

As you would imagine from a god like that, everything in this room is a different shade of black. Even the stone floors.

There is one thing in here that is rather special.

One end of the room has a set of floor to ceiling mirrors. There are three of them that push into the wall to make half of a hexagon.

They are the reason we are here.

Raiyo did not outright say it, but I know they are what he was after. I only wish they had been destroyed like the castle.

I know what he is going to do. I know what memories he will search for.

Once he sees them, it will only ruin him even further.

His memories are back, why must he see them at a different angle?

Alas, I am nothing but a servant to his name. There is nothing I can do that will convince him to stay away.

“Could you make a bath for me?” Raiyo says in a small voice.

For a moment I am surprised he said anything to me, let alone asking for a bath.

“Of course,” I say and move to set him down on the bed.

He sits on the edge of the bed and stairs at his thighs.

Now that I am looking at him again, I notice dried up blood on certain areas of his body.

I know he was never hurt throughout the attack. It must belong to the others.

Quickly, I hurry to the bathroom and prepare the water and shampoos.

I make sure the water isn’t too hot and then I grab a few sponges.

The room begins to smell of honey and those special Serendian spices from those flowers he always kept with him.

A shame he won’t be able to smell any of this.

Walking back to the room, I see he hasn’t moved an inch.

“It is ready for you,” I say, holding my finger out for him.

He blinks and rests his hand over mind and then stands.

I swear he is acting more like an automaton than me at the moment.

I guide him to the bathroom and stand him in front of the water.

His underwear with the silk extensions disappears like a fog being blown away by the wind. He then uses my hand to help him get into the water.

He had still held onto my finger as he sat down and now he leans his head against it.

Seeing that makes me freeze in...Shock? Astonishment? Uncertainty?

I am not sure, but it without a doubt makes steam seep out of my shoulders.

“I’m sorry for what I did to you,” He whispers with his voice cracking.

I crouch down to look at him better.

Oh no. His eyes are starting to water.

“Please do not worry,” I say. “It was hard, yes, but I would do anything for you. If it requires the death of any of us, it will be done.”

He shakes his head. “It was never required for either of those instances. I killed two of you.”

Steams sighs out of my shoulders.

“Raiyo, only one was in vain. Do not let it get to you,” I say. “All that matters is that you are safe. That is all we ever wanted.”

He closes his eyes and lets a few tears fall.

Did I say something wrong?

The water begins to bubble up as Raiyo makes the water hotter. Steam rises quickly around him. Even the metal of my finger around his head begins to shine a faded orange.

“What kind of monster have I become?” He sniffs.

I shake my head. “You are no such thing.”

“Yes, I am,” He says quickly. “You have seen all that I have murdered. I did it without thinking or caring at all! Nothing but a monster would do such a thing!”

“That wasn’t you,” I say. “You had erased all your memories. Sure they came back, but they did it slowly! By the time you would have remembered your true self, another millenia would have passed by.”

I lift my finger slightly to have him look at me.

“It may have been your body, but the real you was missing.”

He sighs and closes his eyes, letting another pair of black lines drip down his cheeks.

“But who was the one who set that monster free?” He says. “Who made the decision to let loose whatever hidden demon was inside me?”

“I knew my soul was a demonic! I learned it the night I died yet I still went through with clearing my memories. Because of my stupid decision, thousands have died by my hands.”

Part of me wants to argue that simply because a soul is demonic, that does not mean they are outright evil.

Yes, there were a select few, but I do not want Raiyo to think he is one of them.

After a moment of silence, I get to cleaning Raiyo’s body.

The water is much too hot but he doesn’t seem to care or notice. Not that, that is surprising

I have to hurry since the water has begun to evaporate rapidly.

Clearly this shows that Raiyo is still thinking of the worst.

Once I wash off the last of the soap from his shoulders, he stands up and then walks into the room.

At least I won’t have to worry about water making a mess. It all evaporates quickly.

Carefully, I put everything away for later.

When I step into the room, I find Raiyo standing in front of the mirrors.

Inwardly I sigh, getting slightly nervous.

He is still naked, and for a moment I think he is inspecting the glowing marks on his body.

His claws do trail over the vine and flower ones on his stomach, but his hand drops away when they drift too close to the wolf head.

I step behind him, making sure he knows I am here to comfort him when needed.

He looks at me through the mirror, but he quickly turns his gaze elsewhere.

Raiyo steps closer to the mirror, only a few inches from touching it.

He stares into his own eyes.

What must it be like seeing how different you look compared to before?

It must be very strange to see unnatural eyes that glow and sit on a pool of black. Especially when you had regular green eyes before!

I suppose it isn’t that much of an issue to him since he never really saw his eyes. He was blind in his last life.

The reflection in the mirror begins to shimmer and ripple like water. The image of Raiyo fades and then a new image replaces it.

It is Yinx. It is an image of himself before he had changed.

Raiyo raises his hand to the mirror. Yinx does the same.

Their palms touch and they stare at one another. Based on Yinx’s face, I can tell that Raiyo is staring at himself as if this is a stranger.

Perhaps after so many years, it would be considered a stranger.

Raiyo leans forward until his forehead touches the mirror.

Instead of meeting a solid surface, he sinks through as if he had breached the surface of a calm pond.

Quickly, I follow him into the mirror world.

Calling it a world might be too much.

Raiyo and I stand in a grey void of fpg.

The mirror still stands behind us like a doorway back into reality.

I make sure to remember where it is when our surroundings possibly change.

Two lines of black silk materialize in front of Raiyo. They drape around his neck before twisting downwards across his chest, covering it up.

They cross over his backside and between his legs before they wrap around his hips, covering his nakedness.

When the silk finishes moving, they fall down to hang one in the back and the other in the front.

Looks like this will be the new outfit for Raiyo.

It surprisingly is still revealing. I would have thought he’d be against that now that his memories are back. He wasn’t exactly open with his sexuality before.

Sure, he had slept with strangers to get away from awful weather, but he never flaunted himself around.

I suppose this is one of the least revealing ones he’s worn in the last years.

His arms,back, stomach and legs are still free. Those markings glow as they always do.

The main one that is hidden is the wolf head over his heart. A section of the silk covers it.

Raiyo’s breath shakes slightly as he lifts his hand, his palm glowing orange.

The fog in front of us swirls around in a small area. The middle where the fog meets begins to create a gentle white light.

That light grows bigger and bigger until a fairly large image of a snow-covered forest comes into view.

Raiyo steps closer to the image, his eyes widening slightly in awe.

Seeing such an expression on his face is surprising in itself. He never does that!

I suppose this is one of the few things he has never seen before.

Raiyo slowly pushes his hand into the image, almost as if he is afraid to.

When a small bit of snow falls onto his hand, he steps further into the memory.

He is barefoot right now, though that is fairly normal. Seeing him walk through snow is slightly terrifying.

These were the trees that surrounded the old Kingdom of Avelin.

The sound of a creaturing huffing to our right grabs my attention.

A large tree has chains wrapped around it.

Raiyo and I circle around it until we find a familiar werewolf chained to the otherside. Bodies with blood pouring from their bodies stain the snow before him.

Laneer stops struggling as stares straight ahead, his breathing slowing down slightly.

He stares right at Raiyo, but I know he isn’t really.

Laneer is staring where Yinx once stood when this very memory took place.

Raiyo walks forward and carefully rests his hand on Laneer’s chest.

The werewolf doesn’t react but his gaze lowers down in time to meet Raiyo’s eyes.

A wistful sigh escapes Raiyo’s lips as he stares up at his lover’s werewolf form.

I truly wish I knew what happened to Laneer.

When he died, his soul could not be found anywhere. Raiyo had searched everywhere as soon as he remembered him.

Before he had turned into Raiyo, Yinx did kill Laneer with his dark magic.

I could only assume that by doing so, he must have absorbed his soul like he does with everyone else’s.

A true shame for the poor man.

I imagine life would be different now if he were still with us.

The memory fades away into fog.

Raiyo walks against through the fog, waiting for another memory to reawaken.

I follow along.

All too quickly, another memories swirls to life.

This time, we have fast forwarded to the morning after the God of Darkness took Yinx’s special sight away.

Laneer sits back on the floor and he smiles up where Yinx was on his lap.

Raiyo kneels down next to Laneer and he lets out a small smile himself.

“Did he always look at me like that?” Raiyo asks, not taking his eyes off Laneer.

At first I am not sure if he was asking me, but after a small moment I reply.

“All the time. Everytime we would look at him, we would always see him watching you.”

That makes Raiyo chuckle slightly before he sniffs and leans forward to kiss memory Laneer’s shoulder.

As he does, the memories fades away.

Raiyo stands and he takes a deep breath, wiping away any tears threatening to fall.

The next memory is the night they had died.

Why? Why is he doing this? This is only going to make him feel even worse!

We find ourselves on top of a small mountain with a beam of light guiding an invisible Yinx.

Laneer is chained up to a cage and hundreds of people watch as Morgoren makes his presence known.

When I glance at Raiyo, I see he isn’t look at Laneer this time. Not even at his surroundings.

He glares up at Morgoren’s glowing self in the sky.

His hands clench into fists and they shake with anger.

The image speeds forward to when the God of Darkness flew up the beam of moonlight before slipping into Yinx’s body.

I don’t even get the chance to see Raiyo’s reaction because the image changes again!

An explosion of dark magic goes off, obliterating everything it touches.

Seeing Laneer disappear in an instant makes me steam up with stress.

The image replays itself, showing Laneer die.

It does it again.

And again.

A fourth time.

A fifth time!

Raiyo’s eyes burn with fire as he keep replaying the image of Laneer dying.

Steam also rising from his eyes as his tears fall, but the fire burns them before they touch his cheeks.

“Raiyo!” I shout. “Stop this please!”

Instead of the image disappearing into fog, it shatters as one of the mirrors breaks into thousands of tiny little pieces.

I knew it.

I knew something like this was going to happen!

The fire dies in his eyes and he looks up at me in shock.

His bottom lip trembles as his eyes cloud over with darkness.

He sinks to his knees in defeat.

“I should have done it,” He whispers to himself. “I should have become his champion.”

I kneel down in front of him and rest my hand near his.

“No, you shouldn’t have,” I say. “You know as well as I do that if you became his champion, you would have killed anyway.”

He shakes his head as tears fall. “Anymore than I have already?”

He has a point there, and I am unable to think of a reply because of it.

He closes his eyes and leans forward and rests on his side, curling into a small ball.

I let him cry. I let him sob against the floor.

This time, he isn’t alone.

Carefully, I rest next to him and wrap myself around him, keeping him safe.

Raiyo may feel like a monster, but I know he isn’t.

If I have to be the one to remind him, so be it.