From Where I Stand - 16. Chapter 16

My “summer break” ended all too quickly, considering it was only a few weeks long. The end of June neared and I started to prepare for summer school. One day Adam and I trekked over to Harvard so we could get our IDs, schedules and other paperwork done for the summer session. Adam had temporarily moved into the apartment ahead of moving into the dorms...he and CJ had spent their first night together and all seemed well. As we headed over to Brattle Street, I decided to see what I could bring up without making him uncomfortable.

“So how was last night?” Seemed like an innocuous enough question to start with.

“Huh? Oh...it was nice, I guess.” Adam seemed a little apprehensive, so I didn’t want to push too much. On the other hand, I also wanted to get to know him a little more.

“You guess? Everything ok with you and CJ?”

“Yeah....it’s just...I dunno, it’s just a bit quick for me. I mean, CJ has done this before and I haven’t, so I guess I just feel a bit rushed.”

“Ah...well if he’s rushing, just tell him. I’m sure he’s not trying to make you uncomfortable on purpose or anything.”

“Yeah I know he’s not. It’s just that...well, it’s CJ, y’know? He’s just a bit on the pushy and hyper side.”

“Don’t forget flirty.”

At least he smiled a little. “Heh, yeah that too. I mean, how long did it take you and Jase? Y’know, to spend a night together and...well...” I interrupted him before he blushed anymore than he was already.

“Heh, hey it’s ok Adam. Well, Jase started sleeping at my house a lot after a couple weeks I guess. Um, the...other stuff...that didn’t happen for a little while. We were both new at it, so it didn’t occur to us as much I guess. CJ is a bit more experienced though...if one of us was more experienced, we probably would have done stuff earlier.”

“Ok...I just don’t wanna like...be easy, I guess,” Adam admitted with a half smile.

“Hehe...I don’t think you have to worry about that. The first time I met CJ, he was practically ready to jump me...and Jase. Besides, I think you’re good for him...you tone him down some, haha.” That much was true. CJ had gotten a bit less hyper and allover the place since he met Adam, who was hands down the most grounded and mellow one of all of us.

“Haha...yeah I guess he’s a bit less perky now. I really like him, but I just...I don’t really know how he feels about me though.”

“Oh? I seemed to have the impression that he was very much into you.”

“Yeah I guess...it’s just that...eh, I don’t know, maybe I’m just being dumb. I have a hard time reading people and I think I’m just always afraid of rejection.”

“Heh, join the club,” I offered as we started walking by the Cambridge Common, a bit away from the noisier street. I slowed my walking pace since we weren’t in any hurry and so we could talk a little more easily. “It took me the longest time to grasp that Jase really liked me. For a while I kept holding my breath, thinking that he’d get tired of me.”

“Aw, don’t know why you would think that...I mean...well, if circumstances were a bit different...I would have asked you out.” The words trickled out of Adam’s mouth...much quieter at the end as he started blushing and looked away.

My eyebrows perked up in surprise. “Oh...wow...um, really?”

“Yeah...but I don’t think I would have spotted you as gay though...my gaydar is broken.”

“Haha, yeah mine too...the only reason I picked up on you was because of how you were acting around Justin...was just a bit familiar.”

“Hehe....yeah Justin...god, I almost can’t stand how well he and Becks are getting along.”

“Aww, a bit jealous are we?” I asked jokingly as I nudged him.

“Heh, yeah maybe a bit...I mean, when did you get over him?”

I had to think a little on that one. “Um...sometimes I’m not sure if I have completely...I’ve felt things for him for a long time and it never got in the way really, so I guess I didn’t completely get rid of the feelings.”

“Oh, ok.”

“I am happy to see him like this though...his last girlfriend was a complete cunt.”

“Haha, yeah I heard. You like Becks though, right?”

“Oh hell yeah, she’s great. Hey, if one of us can’t have him, I’m glad it’s her.”

“Hehe, yeah me too.”

“Oh,” I started as I blushed myself, “if I had a bit more self-confidence and circumstances were different...I would have asked you out too.”

Adam just smiled. “Good to know, hehe.” He stepped a little closer and gave me a light hug...which I returned.

It wasn’t long before we were walking into the Harvard office on Brattle Street. After following a few signs, we entered a hallway with a lot of other high school-looking people waiting in line. We sat ourselves down as the line crept along...there weren’t many open chairs, so Adam and I just sat on the floor against the wall. As we were waiting, Adam started drifting in and out of consciousness. I scooted up to him and directed his head to my shoulder...pretty soon he was dozing away. I saw a few people give us looks, but I didn’t really care...I even let my head rest a bit on Adam’s while I grabbed a few winks myself.

I assumed Adam didn’t get quite as much sleep as I did the night before a la CJ, but I had been up a little late too. Jase was in full swing with work by that time, so we had a slight routine established. We ended up spending a lot of time together at night and going to bed a little late. He didn’t have to be at work especially early, so it worked out...we also wanted to maximize our time together before summer school further interfered with our timing. Jase had been sleeping with me just about every night except some weekends...I was very much accustomed at that point to waking up with him. It just felt cold and lonely when he wasn’t there...not anywhere as bad as what I had gone through in the previous months, but it still wasn’t too pleasant. Justin would make an occasional appearance, especially when everyone got together to hang out. He would also make a point to stay over on some nights when Jase wasn’t there and Becks wasn’t available. I had told him to make use of my room at home if he wanted...as long as my mom wasn’t around. The last thing I needed was a lecture from her about letting Justin have sex in my room...that would have been some lecture.

As I drifted back into consciousness, I took a peek up to see if the line was moving. It looked like Adam and I could go into the office soon, so I nudged him a little.

“Hmm?” he said groggily.

“Hey, looks like we’re up soon.”

“Huh? Oh, ok.” Adam stretched and yawned a little...it was kinda cute. He just had this nice, unassuming demeanor...it always made me feel at ease around him. A few minutes later, I was up at a desk, giving my information. A college-aged girl was sitting at a computer looking people up.

“What’s your name?” she asked, a bit cheery.

“Chris Chen. C-H-E-N.” I probably didn’t need to spell it out, but it was a habit.

“Ok, you have an ID with you?”

“Yup,” I acknowledged as I handed her my driver’s license.

“Ok then, just have a seat on that chair and we’ll get your ID picture taken.”

I sat down as some guy fiddled with a camera and computer. “Smile,” he said to me. He motioned me over to get my approval for the picture...it wasn’t the best picture of me, but I didn’t have any objections. A couple clicks and some noise from a nearby machine yielded a nice warm ID card.

My briefing was continued by the girl. “Ok, this is your ID number. Your PIN is the last 4 of your social. You can use it to log into computers and all electronic resources. These are for you,” she said as she handed me a packet of papers. “And this is your schedule for the courses you registered. You can go over to the Coop to get your books. Um, did you get housing?”

“No, I’m local, so I’m living off campus.”

“Ok then, you’re all set.”

“Alright, thanks.” I walked off, thumbing through the papers. On the top of the stack was a Harvard map...one thing I didn’t really need. I stuffed everything in my bag as I looked around for Adam. He had entered the line before me, so I assumed he had already finished. I spotted him in the hallway where we had been waiting, reading through a similar packet of papers. “Hey Adam!”

“Oh hey, you all done?”

“Yup...looks like you got more paper than I did,” I said as I observed his thick stack.

“Yeah this stuff is for housing...wanna go over with me to check out the dorm?”

“Sure, let’s go. We can go back to the apartment a bit later to move you in.”

Adam had been assigned a room in Thayer Hall on the old yard. Everything in the yard was pretty convenient for the rest of Harvard, but Thayer is especially close to the Science Center where we had class, so it would probably be convenient. The yard was full of people moving in...normally the place is gated off so cars can’t get in, but since it was move-in, the gates were open. SUVs of all sorts were everywhere as people hauled their lives up to their rooms. Since we had Adam’s stuff so close by, we decided to wait to move in so we could avoid the crowd. A swipe of Adam’s ID got us into Thayer...the hallways were strewn with various junk as people tried to get situated. We found his room quickly and opened the door...which was unlocked. It was a typical Harvard freshman double with a common room and 2 small bedrooms...and there was a bit of rustling coming from one of the rooms.

Adam peered into the room and called out, “Hello?” A second later, a head poked out...I cringed a little internally as I saw that the head was Asian.

“Oh hey,” the head said as the guy walked out into the common room and shook Adam’s hand. “I’m Brian,” he said, with a faint accent on his voice.

“I’m Adam, nice to meet you. Well, looks like I’m your roommate.”

“Cool. Um, we don’t have 3 people in here do we?” Brian asked as he motioned toward me.

I shook my head and responded, “Nope, just walking through with him. I’m Chris.” Brian shook my hand too. The gay in me kicked in...he had a nice strong handshake at least. As covertly as I could, I looked him over...he wasn’t bad looking...he was just...very Chinese. I was Chinese too, but I felt like he exuded it more than me...complete with the short, gelled black hair, square glasses which covered slightly slit-like eyes and a goofy smile.

“Nice to meet you,” he responded. “Well I hope you don’t mind Adam, I took this room. They’re both the same I think.”

“Ok cool...no problem. I’m not moving in until later today probably. I have my stuff at Chris’s place nearby.”

“Cool...um I don’t know what you are bringing, but I have a TV, microwave and a minifrig coming up with my dad.”

“Sweet. I didn’t really bring any of that. I’m from Boston, so I guess I can bring some stuff from home if we need it later.”

“Alright, sounds good.”

All the while that Adam and Brian were talking, I was just observing the place. It wasn’t going to be equipped like Ryan’s room was during the year, but it was just for the summer...also I figured Adam would probably hang out at the apartment anyway. I did find myself looking back at Brian a lot...and I felt a bit irked.

“Alright,” Adam said as he waved at Brian. “We’ll get out of here so you can move in. I’ll catch you later when we come back with my stuff.”

“Ok, later Adam, Chris.” We both said bye and left the room. Adam walked a little ahead of me as we exited the building, dodging people on the way.

“Hey, Chris...is something wrong?”

“Huh?”

“You just seemed a bit...well off while we were in there.”

“Oh...it’s nothing. I just...I’m just not exactly comfortable around other Asians.”

“Really? Why’s that?”

“I guess I’m not used to it...all of my friends are white. Also anyone who speaks English with a non-British accent annoys me.”

“Haha...yeah he did have a little accent. Yeah I guess you never hung out with the ‘Asian crowd’ at school.”

“God...those people annoy me sooo much. It’s like it would kill them to talk to someone who isn’t Asian...and they all sound like fobs.”

“Hehe...yeah I guess. You have no accent at all.”

I smirked. “Thanks...my mom made sure my brother and I spoke perfect English...part of why I don’t speak Chinese.”

“You don’t?”

“Nope. At least not Mandarin...I speak a little Taiwanese so I can talk to my grandma, but that’s about it. Then I went and took Japanese at school.”

“Really? Watashi mo.” I did a double take...he said “me too” in Japanese.

“Um, you took Japanese?”

“Yeah well, I quit French and took first year Japanese this last year.”

“Oh ok...explains why I never saw you in class, haha.”

“Yup. Surprisingly, everyone in that class is white.”

“Yeah...did you have a bunch of anime freaks in your class?”

“Oh yeah...them. The teacher showed anime in class a couple times...I saw a few kids get really happy.”

“Haha, there are always a few of them. Anime is useful in some ways though...you get to learn more...colorful language.”

“Oooo...you need to teach me how to swear and stuff later.”

“Will do.”

As we weaved around in the yard, I suggested that we head over to the Coop to get books while everyone was occupied with moving in. My brother told me to go early for books since the run out on occasion. Adam had apparently never gone around Harvard much, so he chuckled a bit when I headed straight for the textbook department of the Coop without even looking for where to go.

“You come here a lot I take it,” he half-joked.

“Heh, yeah...I like to spend as much of my free time as I can in Cambridge.” One thing I liked about Cambridge...and Boston in general...was that it was still “home,” but I could get away from everyone I knew if I wanted.

“I just didn’t get out too much until lately. Becks always tried to drag me out into Boston to hang out, but I usually squirmed out of it.”

“Why’s that?”

“Dunno...guess I just felt a bit out of place. It’s a lot easier now that I met you guys...actually especially you.”

I think I blushed a bit. “Hehe...flattery may get you dinner tonight.”

“Oh? Um...I wanna have your babies?” Adam said whimsically.

“Nice try.”

“Haha, it was worth a shot. Oh hey, there’s our book,” Adam said as he pointed at one of the numerous shelves of textbooks before us. After gaping at the price tag for a minute, we both settled on used copies of the calculus book...we managed to find some pretty lightly used ones...score. “So what other class are you taking?”

“Astronomy.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah I kinda like studying about some of the physics and stuff...plus how could giant thermonuclear balls of gas not be interesting?” I was sorta half serious.

“Haha, knock yourself out...I’ll be having such a good time taking econ...” Adam put on the fakest smile imaginable...which quickly faded. “Oh who am I kidding...I’m gonna die.”

“Ha! Yeah well, it is Harvard...isn’t this place known for econ or something?”

“Yeah...which is why I wanted to take it here...still gonna die.”

“Aww...well you know what they say about economics. It’s just like physics, except in physics 3% of the theories apply to 97% of the cases, where as in economics 97% of the theories apply to 3% of the cases.”

Adam gave me an evil look at that point...so cute. “You’re not helping.”

“Who said I was trying to help?” Insert cheesy grin here. I was expecting more evil looks, but Adam smiled at me instead.

“We need to hang out more.”

I was a bit touched...again. “Aww...sounds good to me. I just always feel like you’re taken, hehe.”

Adam snickered. “CJ is a nutcase, Becks is too hyper and Justin is...well attached at the lips to Becks. Please feel free to take me away.”

“Haha...will do. Actually, when we get around to going to parties and stuff...and we will...I may try to steal you away then. Jase and CJ are party buddies and Ryan...well it’s not healthy for me to drink with him, haha.” See, I could joke about it...at least a bit.

“Heh, sounds good...I’m a lightweight.”

“Me too.”

“I know...I could bench press your scrawny Chinese ass,” Adam boasted, which got him acquainted with my tongue as I stuck it out.

“Oh ha ha, sure make fun of my genetic predisposition for litheness.”

“Do you glow too?”

“Haha, surprisingly no...I was spared from Asian glow.”

“Hehe, too bad...you’re cute when you blush.” Low and behold, I blushed. “Hehe, that was easy.”

Not too long after, we were browsing around the Coop. Of course we were about $200 lighter thanks to the textbooks, so browsing was about all we could afford. It always amazed me how many things you could put a logo or something on...I had to jokingly restrain Adam from getting a Harvard teddy bear. As I was eying a lanyard, I felt my pocket vibrate.

“Hello?”

“Hey babe.” Mmm...Jase.

“Hey sexy.”

“Hehe, so where are you?”

“Adam and I are in the Coop...just got our books.”

“Cool. Ok, so apparently my mom wants me at home tonight for some family dinner thingy...looks like I won’t be back over tonight.” I was a little glad that he couldn’t see me frown...though he probably knew I was doing it.

“Aw...ok. Well, I guess I’ll try to survive...somehow...” I made some weeping noises...I wasn’t THAT sad, but it was completely insincere.

“Hehe, I’ll miss you too. So is Adam right there?”

“Nope, he’s about...50 feet away looking at something,” I estimated as I looked over to Adam’s figure, hunched over some merchandise.

“Ok...so are you two getting along?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Ah, nothing...” I could sense him smirking.

“Jase...spill.”

“Hehe, nah, it’s just CJ was commenting about you two.”

“What about?”

“Ok, don’t tell...but CJ thinks Adam likes you.” At that point, my anti-drama gene kicked in.

“Ha, yeah well I know that already...and I like him too...and we both know. We’re just getting to be a bit close, which is nice...and neither of you need to worry about anything happening. I love you and Adam is the kind of guy you take home to meet your parents because he’s so honest and takes commitment very seriously. So no drama here, sorry.”

“Haha, aww...I love you too. Well, I guess I’ll have to tell CJ he won’t be getting that re-enactment of Dynasty with all of this.”

I sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if we should have set up him and Adam.”

“Hehe, yeah...but they are starting to average out, so it’s all good. Also I don’t think they’d have a nasty breakup if it ever happened.”

“Probably not...which is good.”

“Yeah...oo, ok I gotta run. Talk to you later babe. Mwah.”

“Mwah. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

****

Of course being a good friend often involves one thing...manual labor. After the crowd had died down a bit, I helped Adam get his stuff moved over to the dorm from the apartment. CJ was mysteriously missing along with Ryan, so that left me. It wasn’t too bad considering Adam packed pretty lightly...he didn’t have too far to go to get more stuff if he wanted. As we were moving, we continued just talking about various things...including boyfriends. Adam pitched that since Jase had some obligation that night and CJ had ditched him, we should just hang out that night and maybe meet some of the other high school kids that were at the program. Since it was Saturday, there was a near guarantee of people deciding to party a bit before any real work started...and what’s a party without a couple of fags, right? Well, I guess a football party usually qualifies as a party without a couple of fags...but that’s for Monday night.

Adam’s roommate wasn’t present while we were moving in...thank god...I had some serious stigma to work over. Adam noticed my relief when the room was vacant and just laughed at me.

“Wow...you really can’t handle Asians can you?”

“Is it so bad that I want everyone to speak perfect, unaccented English?”

“Well, at least I’m the one living here...and at least Brian doesn’t have an Indian accent or something.”

I shuddered. “People shouldn’t talk with that kind of rhythm...it’s disturbing.”

“Anyone ever tell you that you’re a racist?” I’m pretty sure Adam was just joking around...me on the other hand.

I pointed to myself. “Duh, I’m Chinese...we’re almost as racist as the Japanese are...almost. Besides, it’s not so much that I’m racist as much as I dislike anyone who doesn’t conform to what I believe to be normal.”

“Ah, so you’re an equal opportunity discriminator,” he chuckled.

I threw my arms around him. “FINALLY! SOMEONE WHO GETS ME!”

Adam rolled his eyes. “You’re hopeless.” Just then, Adam’s phone rang and he ducked into his bedroom to answer it...sounded like his mom or something, checking up on him. I was only slightly perplexed why his parents weren’t there helping him move in, like the other people. On the other hand, I had the feeling that Adam preferred to be around his friends and not have his parents butt into his social life...it wasn’t too big of a deal since he was local anyway. “Sorry,” Adam started after he came out of his room. “Parents just checking on how everything is and asking if I needed anything.”

“Ok cool. Are they coming by at all?”

“Nope...at least if I can help it. I do way too much stuff with my family...part of the reason I did this was so I could get out of the family vacation this summer.”

“Haha, yeah doing stuff with your family can be a bit boring.”

“Yeah. I’m the oldest anyway, so they figured that I could take care of myself for at least one summer...and now my little brothers can have all the attention.”

“How many brothers?”

“Two...and they’re like 10 and 12. My parents had second thoughts after me I guess, haha.”

“Aww...I’m sure they just thought you were perfect, so why keep trying.” Finally...managed to elicit a blush out of Adam instead of vice versa. “Score one for Chris, hehe.”

“Yeah rack it up while you can. So everything is about done here,” Adam mentioned as he looked around. “Feel like getting food? I have the meal plan and I think I can bring a guest today or something since it’s move in day.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll just be your dad or something.”

“I’m older than you.”

“So? Chronology is for the weak.”

“You’re gonna give that astronomy professor a headache aren’t you.”

“Muahaha,” I cackled.

“God rest his soul...that is if you don’t eat it.”

****

Now at Harvard, meals during the summer were served at Memorial Hall, which is a massive structure that resembles a cathedral. How fitting that high school students and freshmen ate there...unfortunately the appearance of the building far surpassed the quality of the food. On the bright side, the food was better than normal since the parents were there and they couldn’t give the impression that the poor children were going to die of indigestion.

Adam and I separated briefly in the food line...or rather lines. He went over to one line and I found one that had pasta. By the time I exited the line, I found Adam with a small group of people...one of whom was his roommate. After taking a deep breath, I headed over to Adam.

“Oh hey Chris...so this is my section of the dorm...apparently,” Adam said as he motioned to the small group of people.

“Oh, hey what’s up?” The usual responses were had and then one of the guys spoke up.

“Ok, so let’s grab a table while we still can.” He looked noticeably older than the rest of the people...not in a bad way. In fact, the guy was pretty good looking despite being probably 5’6” or so. We managed to snag a largely empty table with our group of 7 or so and it looked like conversation gravitated around roommates and such. The older guy settled in next to me and Adam.

“So I’m Nathan and I’ll be your Residential Fellow in the dorm,” he introduced himself. The 3 or so of us paying immediate attention to him made our own introductions...the last being me.

“I’m Chris Chen...and I don’t actually live in Thayer, heh.”

“Oh, are you in another dorm?” Nathan asked.

“Nah, I’m staying off campus since I’m local. Just keeping Adam here company.”

“Ok cool...wait, you’re from around here?”

“Yeah.”

Nathan put his hand on his chin and started pondering. “Wait...Chen? Do you have a brother who went to Roxbury?”

Ding ding, give the man a prize. “Uh, yeah, my brother Daniel.”

“Oh cool, so you’re his brother. I went to Roxbury too, but I was a few years behind him...well in his case, I was like 6 years behind him, but who’s counting, hehe.” Yeah...my brother the prodigy only went to high school for 2 years.

“Heh, yeah that’s him. Did you know him?”

“Kinda, we were both in orchestra. He plays the viola, right?”

“Yup. How bout you?”

“Violin.”

“Ooohhh...yeah he discriminates against violinists. I hope you were a first violin.”

“Haha, yeah I was. I’m guessing you’ve heard the ‘second violin’ jokes.” Way back when, I played the violin...until I figured out I had no musical talent whatsoever. My brother started violin, then went viola because it was more challenging...and the jokes just kept going.

“Yeah...why were the second violinists waiting at the door?”

“Because they never know when to come in.” Hehe, ok...I’ve already confessed to being a dork. I filled in Nathan about my brother when he asked and told him I’d say hi for him.

A few chats and other idle conversation later, dinner was over and everyone was heading back to the dorm. It was starting to become readily obvious who was a high school student...we all seemed to have lanyards with our keys and IDs around necks. Oh yeah, we all seemed to walking in herds. I guess some of the stereotypes are true after all. Nathan gave us all a blanket warning about being careful and not overdoing it as far as partying, but to otherwise enjoy ourselves. It was also mentioned that there was usually one suite in Thayer that was always party central, so if we were bored, we could probably just keep an eye out for that.

Adam, Brian and I got back to the dorm room along with one of the other people from the hall...his name was Steve I think. Brian already met some girls in one of the suites and they were planning on having a party of some form or another an hour or so from then. We decided that we should try to dress somewhat well...a.k.a. trendy. Adam offered to clothe me so I wouldn’t have to go home. He had an especially good time giggling at me and telling me to strip so I could try stuff on...which I reciprocated when it was his turn. Adam managed to get some of the gay fashion gene I suppose...even I had to admit that I looked pretty good. He had a nice Armani Exchange shirt that seemed to hug everything on me just right...black with some fuzzy white lettering. I smiled a bit when Adam put on his own shirt...Too Busy To FCUK. I made a note to go and get some novelty FCUK shirts after that. We had a bit of fun checking each other out too...under the pretense of making sure we looked alright, hehe. It was nice feeling that comfortable around him though. Right as we were finishing with a quick spray of Adam’s cologne...Burberry Brit, mmm...we heard Brian call from the main room. We exited Adam’s bedroom to see a combination exciting and nervous sight...4 bottles of various alcohol.

“Alright guys,” Brian started. “What’ll you have?” Adam looked a lot more nervous than me about the whole thing...I guess he hadn’t really done any drinking before. Adam was a bit heavier than me, so I mixed him something slightly stronger than what I had for effect...raspberry rum is god by the way. Adam nervously downed the drink...which actually helped him calm down, hehe. A couple of drinks later, we were all sufficiently buzzed and headed up a floor to where the party was supposed to be...and it didn’t disappoint. Funny that black lights and strobes weren’t on my packing list...but obviously these girls planned ahead. There were about 15 people in the suite...all glowing in some way or another thanks to white parts of their clothing and the black lights. I don’t even remember most of what happened there...just a lot of talking and laughing...and me and Adam repeatedly saying we weren’t boyfriends to a couple inquisitive girls.

****

“I don’t know Adam...” We were both still pretty drunk and very tired...but Adam didn’t want me to walk home by myself.

“Chris, it’s ok. I promise, I’m too tired to even try to put the moves on you, hehe.” Adam was slurring a little, but seemed more coherent than me.

I acquiesced...I felt like I was going to fall over anyway. “Ok, if you’re sure you don’t mind.”

After stripping down as far as our modesty would allow...apparently that meant t-shirts and underwear...Adam and I climbed into his bed. It was a bit cozy of a fit, but not uncomfortable. The night was actually cool, so we weren’t in danger of cooking to death. I was careful to try and avoid direct contact with Adam, but he didn’t seem to have the same anxiety about it...after all he didn’t really know everything about what happened with me and Ryan. He cuddled up a little and rested his head slightly on my shoulder...he even draped an arm across me.

“Mmm...g’night Chris. Thanks for hanging out with me tonight.” Adam’s breathing slowed noticeably as he started drifting off.

“Hehe, it was fun...g’night Adam.” I felt a little brave and kissed him lightly on the cheek...the corner of his lip curled upward slightly. I smiled myself and just let myself drift off. In my mind, I let myself think that if Adam was ok with it, I should be too...after all, he was more of a good boy than me. It dawned on me that we were just getting close...and that was a good thing. My worries slipped away as I thought about Jase and that I would see him the next day. I felt at peace as the last thought in my conscious mind faded out into dark.