Starlight in the Heavens - 9. Chapter 9

Part 9 - Jo

The eyes in the mirror changed to reveal my true form and allowed me to sense the presence of the others surrounding me. He had seen a child, but was it the child they had been searching for?

“Josen, what’s happened?”

“You tell me. What child did he see? Is it the one?”

“What do you feel?”

I closed my eyes and spread my arms out to into the surrounding air. I tried to pull from the ones across the street. They were guarded as they dreamt and I could feel Joshua awaken. The answer was in Alex. I tried to focus. He saw me come to him and turned the child away.

No, Alex, I’m not here to hurt him. Please, I need to see his face.

His eyes narrowed as he looked over his shoulder. Why?

The water at his back grew dark then began to fade. He was waking.

I opened my eyes and stared into the mirror.

“He’s protecting this child in his dreams, as if it were his own.”

Silence surrounded me.

“Talk to me. Tell me what I need to know. Show me.”

This was ridiculous. Why wouldn’t they answer? I closed my eyes and reached out to Alex again. He was one with Joshua so I couldn't break through to his mind.

In desperation, I started for the door.

“Stop, Josen. We will answer.”

***

It was quiet as I returned to the livingroom. Quiet, but I could sense confusion, hurt, and fear coming from upstairs.

“Nooo!”

It was Alex. Oh, my poor baby. The decisions you’ve had to make. The things that have been hidden from you. Hidden from you both. They should never have taken the memories from you. They should have known that together you would begin to see. So, now I knew that I was not put here to bind your souls.

I found the cd I needed in the stereo and started it playing before making my way up the stairs. The bed was in disarray and I could hear them outside on the balcony.

They were a picture of beauty as they danced. Mesmerizing. This was what the world should be like. Free and colorful in form. There was such love in these two. It poured from them and flowed out and around in the air surrounding their souls. It drew me, into its calm and warmth.

The music stopped, and with it their dance. They’re beautiful together. Day and night, complete in each other. Their souls combined and united. As Joshua brushed his cheek against Alex’s hair, the silver light I saw earlier pulsed. As he breathed in his scent, his eyes grew wide and he began to sway. They were one, and all the visions that have passed through Alex will flow through Joshua.

“Josh?” Alex could sense the change in Joshua’s posture and drew back to look at him. Joshua's swaying stopped and I could see the distant look of recognition form on his face.

“Joshua?” Alex called his name again.

I needed to see the child. I wanted to confirm what had been said, so I closed my eyes and reached out.

“Stop!”

His voice came in and severed my vision. He was so much stronger than I imagined he could be. What a fool I’d been. I allowed myself to be manipulated by the others. I refused to see what was happening right before my eyes. Believing I was here to bind them, I refused to see that they already were. They had always been. How else would he have been born?

“Alex, trust me, please.”

“Trust you? Why should I trust you? Why should I trust any of you? You’ve been manipulating us from the time of our birth. All of us. We’re just pawns on your game boards.”

Alex led Joshua to a chair and helped him sit. He was in a daze and went quietly, eyes wide in wonder at whatever vision he was seeing. It was the child he was seeing. I knew this beyond any doubt. His eyes began to come back into focus. The recognition still caused wonder, but with it... fear.

“Alex. I didn’t know what they had done. I didn’t know what my presence here would do.”

He flinched when I touched his shoulder. Joshua responded and pulled Alex onto his lap. His eyes were cold and hard, angry, as he looked up at me.

“Go away, Jo.”

“Joshua, you need to understand why. Don’t just let this end here. He needs to understand. Please, let me in.”

“NO! If you want us to understand, you can fucking talk to us. I don’t want you or any more of your buddies inside our heads.”

I could understand his anger. Time had not eased the pain of his dreams or questions; it had caused them to grow. They should have known better.

With my eyes cast upward to the night sky, I tried to arrange my thoughts with what the others told me. I gazed at the starlight and pulled the strength of the ones gone before. I am not the best one for speaking explanations. Words are difficult things to process. They are so often mixed between spoken and heard. Human perception of the spoken word can be daunting to those like me. Simple words, I love you, are misconstrued to mean whatever the hearer wishes. All dependent on the feelings of the individual at the time they are spoken. Then, there is how they are spoken. In anger, they are a curse, more times than not followed or preceded by pain. In sorrow, again there is pain. Are they being said to manipulate the circumstances or are they being said in truth? Too many words are thrown out with no meaning. So how do I make them understand?

“Jo, just spit it out.”

Oh, Joshua. I wish I could. No, what I wish is that the others hadn’t caused such turmoil in this gentle soul. With a sigh, I sat with them and held out my hands.

“Give me one of your hands.”

Joshua was the first to choose to rest his hand on mine. Alex was subdued and looked at me with suspicion. Joshua combed his free hand through Alex’s hair and kissed his brow.

“Go ahead, babe.”

I smiled reassuringly at him as he also placed a hand on mine.

“Do you remember the glow from earlier?”

They nodded as I pressed their hands together. Upon contact their fingers interlaced.

“It seems I was mistaken in my explanation and I am not here to bind your souls as I thought.”

The color that rose from their hands was almost blinding in its intensity. Brilliant royal blue, it was the color of his eyes. I know this, although I’ve never seen him.

“Can you see it?” The shine in their eyes told me they could. “It has been this way from the moment you met. Two halves that complete the whole. No, that isn’t true. You were more than half then and now you are more than whole. You are unique among man in that regard.”

As I spoke, my fingers traced along their fingers. Down to a fingertip and up the other side, on to the next in one continuous line. The line I drew remained. A single, glimmering, silver thread in the blaze of blue.

“In my past experience, there were only two distinct forms of man. Whole and half. When I say man, I mean the soul of man. Most are half. They seek to become whole in uniting with another. It is not always accomplished as man has a tendency to withhold himself, thereby never fully joining. But, when they do; the heavens sparkle.”

The silver thread glittered in the moonlight as I retraced and joined the end to itself.

“All souls desire to be complete. There is an emptiness that can only be filled when they are. Too many times, I’ve seen half souls diminished rather than joined. Far too many times, they give of themselves only to be torn and left incomplete and bleeding. The only thing that heals these is the joining of a whole. Very rare, as a whole needs no joining to be complete.”

The silver thread pulled tight as I inserted my hand between theirs, unlocking their fingers. It sparkled through the blue, and rose, blending and pulsing above our fingers. It grew and lifted away, though still connected by a single thread. They stared at this new form as it glittered like starlight.

"This is your swimmer."