Starlight in the Heavens - 6. Chapter 6

Part 6 - Joshua

I heard his voice and my heart screamed for him. I would have taken him right then if she hadn’t been in the same room. I almost did. But I held on tight and raced up the stairs to the bedroom. As I laid him on the bed, insanely pulling, tearing my way through his T-shirt, I felt his fingers clawing through the clothes I wore. His whimpers drove me mad, so close to the edge.

“In me... in me... in me.”

His shorts torn and tossed aside, his feet pushed what remained of my clothing away and he flipped me over onto my back, straddled, aimed, and slid over my aching erection. Over the edge, I fell... into starlight.

What do you do when the only time you feel complete is in union with the one you love? What do you do with the ache in your heart when he isn’t in your arms? I don’t understand. I only know that we can never be apart.

“Shh, Josh, baby, don’t cry.”

Grasping his hips, so no connection was lost, I slid up against the headboard and held him to me. I wanted to make love to him. I wanted to kiss every inch of his skin. But how could I do that without losing that closest of joining? I loved him so much it hurt, and all I could do is clutch him to me and sob into his hair.

Then she was there. Her fingers pushed the hair back from my forehead and when I looked up, she kissed my brow. My eyes closed and I felt her lips brush against the lids.

Darkness and starlight. I was floating through what seemed to be millions of stars. Bright prisms of color that pulsed and shimmered all around me in the dark. First blending, then separating, then blending again. And she was there, in the midst of them, drawing them to her as she danced. They swirled around her, moved within her, shone through her skin. But she wasn’t her anymore. A phantom of color, a cloud of starlight. I could sense it building, growing. An explosion of light and color raced through me. Darkness. Only a single star remained. It pulsed, light, dark, royal blue. It rested upon my chest and moved within to wrap itself around my heart. I was complete.

She was gone when I opened my eyes, and he lay beside me, face to face. His breath was shallow in sleep, his eyes moving beneath the lids as he dreamt. I had to wonder if he was having the same dream. I didn’t want to wake him, my angel in repose. Just a light touch along his chin, a soft caress on his smooth cheek.

I memorized Alex’s face. I saw it in my dreams, both asleep and awake. Yet, as I lay there next to him, it seemed as though it was brand new. I marveled at the delicate slope of his nose, the curve of his chin. His was the face of a cherubic angel, sweet, tender, innocent. His brow furrowed as he dreamt, making him look even more beautiful. His lips, soft as rose petals, parted as I brushed against them.

With only the tip of my tongue, I traced along his full mouth, tasting the residue of the brandy. Sweet. I sighed, resting my head on my pillow, and watched my angel sleep.

***

We went to the beach often the summer of our meeting, always trying to choose the times when Mandy was there. Alex had a special rapport with the girl and I tried to understand it.

He would sit with her for long times, holding her and stroking through her hair. To anyone that didn’t know them, the thought would come that they were the lovers. Not he and I, though I was never far from them. And when we’d go, she would repeat what she’d said in the beginning.

“Take care of him for me. There’s no one in the world like him.”

Then she’d gently pull me down and brush her lips against mine and I’d know there was no one in the world like her.

***

Pools of wondrous dark blue, gazed back at me and I felt my heart skip a beat.

“What are you thinking about?”

“I have to be thinking?”

“I know you Josh. You’re always thinking.”

His fingers sent currents of warmth and electricity though me as he touched my mouth. My body responded in an instant and I covered his face with kisses. This was my heaven. To have him so close I could feel his rod battling with mine. To taste his skin, to hear him moan and gasp each time I gave him pleasure. And pleasure him I did, as my tongue slid down his smooth chest to lick up the pool of precum building on his taut stomach. One light lick and suck, then I was off to his inner thigh. His hands fluttered, drew near, but he knew me well and dug into the bed, grabbing onto the sheets and holding on.

His breath came in ragged gulps as I worked around his balls. He’s very sensitive there, almost to the point of ticklish, so I didn’t stay long. Back to his pulsing rod, licking up to the head and once more a little suck. His moans were growing louder, his gasps more intense as I lifted his legs to continue my journey. Down to his tight love hole, to lick, to tease, to suck. I took my time, exploring the depths of him with my tongue and he began to whimper my name.

“Josh. Josh. Josh.”

I ran my fingers through the precum gathering on his stomach again. I know it’s sweet, I love its flavor but it had other uses for me right then.

He felt my fingers at the threshold and pushed against them. One, two, then three, and he began to buck.

“Oh God, Josh. You’re killing me here.”

One of his hands released the sheets and fluttered convulsively in the air before reaching into my hair.

“Please. Oh please, Joshy, please.”

My fingers removed, his legs over my shoulders, I slowly gave him what he was begging for. Very slowly. In, out a little, in again and grind. I rubbed up gently on his prostate and watched him shiver. Harder now, faster. Both his hands were in my hair.

“Yes... yes... yes. Oh yes.”

Okay, no more playing around. Time to drive it home. I pulled out to the end and slammed into my lover, sending us both over the screaming edge.

“JOSHUA!”

Starlight. He is my heaven. Always and forever, he will be my heaven.

***

The first year we were together, we were inseparable. The only times we were apart were the times I was working. He’d wait at the door while I drove away and he’d be at the door waiting when I returned. There were a lot of meetings with bullshit estate attorneys and his father’s partners. It always amazed me how ridiculous these characters were; though, I imagine, if I hadn’t been there, they would have gotten away with a lot. I was young, only twenty-three at the time, and they didn’t realize how well I knew the legal lingo. When they started in with their double talk, trying to get Alex to sign over his, and his siblings, rights to company shares, they had him completely confused. They got the shock of their lives when I stepped in. I made sure Alex knew exactly what they were saying and went over each and every proposal with him, eventually teaching him how to interpret it all on his own.

Yep, inseparable.

Except for one week, when he disappeared from my sight. He’d left a note, cryptic though it was.

Joshua,

Please don’t hate me.

This is something I have to do.

I love you.

Alex

I went to the beach and sat in the spot we’d met and waited for him to return.

***

“You’re being awfully quiet.”

His voice brought me out of my thoughts.

“Am I?”

We were sitting on the balcony watching the sun as it set over the ocean. He had his brandy and I had my wine.

“You never did tell me what you were thinking about.”

“Mmm.”

“Josh.”

I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t want to dredge up past hurts, but I couldn’t get them off my mind either. I wanted to understand. I wanted to forget.

“I was just remembering our first year together.”

He didn’t speak, but turned his head to look out at the water and furrowed his brow. I waited. Eventually, he returned his gaze to my eyes.

“Does it still bother you?”

With a humorless smile I asked, "Which part? That you left me? That you loved her? Or that you made love to her?"