Starlight in the Heavens - 18. Chapter 18

Part 18 - Alex

Adrian's eyes bored into mine as he padded slowly closer. When he reached my legs, he stopped, shuddered, and rested his head on my knees. I looked over at Sean, and when he nodded with a patient, although grave, look on his face. I gently ran my fingers through the fur at Adrian's neck.

I don't know what I was expecting, the same feel as an adult housecat, I suppose. But Adrian's coat was far thicker than a small cat, and it was soft but coarse all at the same time. As I pet him, I noticed a musky smell grow around us. I remembered the smell from times I'd been to the zoo. It was the smell of a wild cat.

"Will this happen to Alex?"

Joshua's voice, taut with apprehension caused me to pull my hand back. Adrian took that time to go back to the blanket. He curled up, on top of it this time, and yawned. As I watched him close his eyes, acting as though nothing in the world bothered him, I thought how bizarre his actions were. It hadn't been that long ago that he'd clung to me, begging forgiveness, and before that he'd been twitchy, watching anything and everything with close to paranoia in his eyes.

"Why does he do that?"

I hadn't been paying much attention to Joshua's reactions to seeing Adrian shift, so when he jumped at my words, it threw me off.

"What?" I twisted in his arms to look into his face. "What's wrong?"

Joshua's expression went, in one instant, from one of horror to complete embarrassment as he looked into my eyes.

"Joshua is concerned that you might turn into some creature while he wasn't watching," Sean said with a hint of amusement to his voice.

"That's ridiculous," I said.

TJ snorted and sat next Sean, immediately pulling him into his lap. Sean melted into his lover's embrace with a smile and a sigh.

"Not so ridiculous," Joshua muttered. "You are related after all."

I hadn't really thought about that part. Sure, there was a relationship but I doubted their shifting ability came from their mother—my great-aunt. It must have come from their father. Maybe that was why Adrian had called him a monster. That thought caused me pause.

I studied TJ and Sean, realizing that they in turn seemed to be studying me, and then looked back at Adrian. He was still curled up, relaxed on the blanket, but he was also riveted on me. His eyes had an almost eerie glow, giving him a magical look.

What made their father a monster? Was it because he was a shifter, what the world called a were-creature? I turned my attention back to TJ and Sean. I was reminded of Joshua and me as I looked at them. They were so much into each other that their love radiated, warming the room. The last thing they reminded me of was evil. While I'd been petting Adrian I hadn't sensed I was in any danger.

As Joshua's arms tightened around me, I wondered if he felt threatened. His eyes had always brightened when he'd told me his brother's stories. But maybe that was just the love he'd had for Jeremy, and not the wonder of the stories themselves.

"Would it be so bad?" I asked, barely making a sound.

"What?" Joshua pulled back and forced me to face him. "No. Baby, no. That is not what I meant. I just... We're already so different. I just don't want you to have to deal with any more." He pulled me into his chest and rubbed my back while kissing the top of my head. "I love you, Alex. It's just that so much has changed for us in the past few months—the physical obsession, finding out about Anthony, Jeremy, and now finding Sean and Adrian. So many changes. I'm just..."

He broke off and sighed, falling back into the couch and bringing me with him.

"Overwhelmed," TJ said.

"Yeah. I guess that's it. Things just seem to be rocketing in and I've not had any time to get used to one before the next comes. I didn't mean to make you think that being a shifter was repulsive. It isn't. It's just another thing in the long list of things we've had to deal with lately."

"Your answer is no," Sean said. "But the gene is within him. It lies dormant as it did in my mother."

Oh wow. That statement rocked me a bit. A shifter gene—and it was in my family. Did my mother know about this gene? Maybe that was why she'd said I was special. But, if that was it then why the turn around when I turned sixteen?

"Then it could be passed on." Joshua broke me from wandering away from the subject. "Anthony could also be different."

"From what Jo has told us, he already is."

I pushed away from Joshua, turned, and settled back so I could see everyone as we talked. "Exactly what has Jo said?"

I wanted to know what her reasons were for the five of us meeting. You'd think that with Sean and Adrian being related, that would be the reason. But with Jo, the obvious was not always the answer.

Sean glanced at his brother before answering. "About the two of you, not much—other than you are both equal fathers to Anthony. It was more questions that Jo had rather than answers."

"The starlight does not know why it is here," TJ said. "Its path is unknown."

The use of the word it, did not fall of deaf ears—mine nor Joshua's. We'd called Jo by the female description simply because she looked like a woman. Well, most of the time. I know I'd seen her face change to that of a man more than once at night when she gazed up towards the stars.

"And you know the answers to Jo's questions?" Joshua asked.

"Some." Sean cocked his head and I watched his eyes glaze over a bit. It was as though he was listening to something from far away and it took him to another place in his mind. We waited until his eyes cleared and he smiled at us.

"The path often walked is not always the road to home."

"Huh?" Twin expressions came from both our mouths.

TJ began to laugh. It began as a light rumble, like a small waterfall, but grew until it reverberated throughout the room. I felt as though I was standing on the edge of a pool, and a massive amount of water was crashing from high rocks overhead. I closed my eyes and actually felt a cool breeze on my face. Amazing.

His laughter died down to smooth chuckles, a running brook, and I realized that both Joshua and I had completely relaxed into each other and the sofa. There was a calm between us that I hadn't felt in a very long time. All from the sound of TJ's laughter.

"It's a gift." Adrian had changed and moved to sit beside TJ dressed in only a loose pair of sweat pants. I tried not to stare at his broad bare chest while he settled down and gazed almost reverently at TJ and Sean. "It was almost thirty years before I heard it the first time."

"Thirty years?" I asked.

He nodded then looked down at his clasped hands. "It was a sad time for us."

I didn't want to ask, didn't want to invade their lives so drastically. It must have been awful, though, to live through a time so bad that a laugh can't escape.

They looked so happy. Well, TJ and Sean did anyway. Adrian—I don't know if he was happy, sad, forlorn, confused—who knew what Adrian was? But, TJ and Sean—they were the epitome of happiness. You couldn't help but smile as you looked at them. It actually hurt my heart to imagine them any other way. But judging from the way Adrian was, I knew, just as I had earlier that these three had had horrible things done to them.

"Adrian, leave the past terrors where they belong," Sean said. "Dead and buried. They died when he died."

I saw a momentary flinch in Adrian's body. His face contorted in unimaginable anguish for a split second before returning to its neutral ambiguous expression.

Yeah, horrid beyond my understanding. I wasn't so sure I even wanted to know.

"Back to Jo," Joshua said. "What is it she wants?"

"To understand her place," Sean said.

"And you can tell her."

"I can help her," he winked at me, "or him."

I didn't get it, and my face must have shown as much.

"To understand, you must first understand a little bit of what starlight is."

"I first saw it appear seventeen years ago," TJ said, "on the night of our release."

I had a feeling he was talking about the past that Sean encouraged Adrian to forget—when their father, the monster, died.

"We were all drained, Sean most of all. I saw it come down from the heavens—a rain of starlight that coalesced into the female image you know as Jo. We spoke a few minutes. Then before leaving, it told me we would meet again. It was sure in its path at that time, though now, I believe it is confused."

"Yeah, we get that she's confused." Joshua's voice let me know he was beginning to get frustrated. Not always a good thing. Patience isn't one of Joshua's virtues. "So, what is it about her we need to understand?"

They took a moment and looked at each other, silently communicating. Then TJ sighed and got up.

"Come on, Adrian. Let's go find Jo while Sean explains things to your cousins." I swear he snickered as they went out the door.

Sean curled up in an overstuffed chair to the side of us, pulling his legs underneath him, and gazed out the window with an enigmatic smile. We didn't have to wait long for him to speak.

"I'm sure you have heard the term: Spirit, Soul and Body." We both nodded. It was a common enough saying, though, mostly by those in the religious sects.

"When a person, human or otherwise, leaves this world, the body stays behind and becomes a part of the earth. The soul moves on to other places, and the spirit rises to join others and protect the innocents taken before their time."

He paused and watched us as we processed. I thought back to the conversation with Jo earlier in the day. She had said that they watched over the souls of the ones that died before they were supposed to. I was beginning to get a picture in my head.

"As the spirits join, they gain the ability to take form. Most are content to remain in the heavens, but some feel the yearning of those still living within body and soul. They come to help those wishing a permanent bond. Or to those needing help releasing themselves to their young.

"Some stories of old call them angels, some are seen as ghosts—guiding spirits. This is what Jo considered her purpose. She was to help you to bond, and to release yourself to your son. But in your conversations, she became confused. See, Jo is unique in herself. Sometimes, though rare, the soul does not depart the spirit. In those cases, it can choose to return to the world. Of course, this can only happen when all the spirits within the entity agree.

"Have you ever listened to your thoughts and wondered if they were all yours?"

"You're talking about a schizophrenic," Joshua said. "Someone who hears voices in their head."

"I think everyone at one time or another wonders if their thoughts are truly their own."

I nodded. I know there were times when I questioned my thoughts. Whether or not Joshua wanted to admit it, I knew he did too. It was disconcerting when that happened.

"Jo hears every spirit that makes up her being. It is something she is used to, though lately, one voice is louder. There is a soul residing in Jo and its voice is straining to be heard."

A light went on in my mind. The soul in Jo wanted to return to the world. That was her purpose in coming to us. We led her to Sean, and out of everyone, he was the one that could help her become.

Our attention went to the front of the cabin when we heard the others returning. TJ came in first and grabbed the blanket that had covered Adrian. He took it back outside and minutes later returned with Adrian... and a young man.