Don't Blame The Band - 7. A Minor Scare and Back on Stage

Wednesday October 5

I'm walking home from school and a car pulls up beside me.

"You're Daggett, right?"

Not knowing who it is, I'm hesitant to answer.

"Who are you?"

"Never mind that. Are you Daggett?"

"Yeah, why?"

"What happened in that warehouse?"

"What?"

"You were there before my sons died. What happened?"

"Mr. Turner? I wasn't there. But I heard about it. I'm sorry for your loss, er, losses."

"I was told you were there because they were the ones who beat you."

"Whoever told you that apparently has something against me. I have no idea who beat me. The cops haven't found out as far as I know. That was a week ago Sunday, I think, right?"

"Yeah."

"Um, that's the day I was eating lunch with a friend, his uncle, and his cousins. They took us out kind of as a get well celebration. Anthony and I had recently gotten out of the hospital."

"Yeah sure. You can make anything up. What proof you got?"

"Me personally, none. But I was with Anthony, his uncle, and 2 cousins. The staff at Dominick's can tell you we were there. Geez, if I thought I'd need to have proof I was somewhere else, wouldn't I carry it around? Somewhere around 10 people knowing where I was, and only one I knew before the lunch, they'd lie for me?"

"Maybe not for you, for that gangster Rossi, I'd say for sure."

"Gangster? I don't know anything about that. Come on, look at me. Do I look like I could handle Jack? Or ever Lester?"

"True, there's no arguing you're a fag and a wimp. You hear anything, you let me know, huh?"

"Um, not to seem like a smart-ass, but how?"

"My last son Paul's in 10th grade. Look at him in the back seat. If you hear something, you find him and tell him."

"Sure thing. But I don't expect to hear anything though."

"Yeah. Whatever."

With that, the car drives away. After it turns a corner, I drop on the ground and just sit there, amazed that I fooled him. I'm apparently still a little shaken when I get home, because mom definitely notices something.

"What happened, you look scared again."

"Mr. Turner stopped me on the way home. He heard I had something to do with the warehouse fire that killed his sons. Obviously I was afraid he wouldn't believe I didn't. It shook me up."

"He didn't hurt you, or threaten you, did he?"

"No, just warned me I should let his kid know if I heard anything."

"Well, hopefully the police will find the culprits, then it'll be over."

"Unless I need to go to court, if and when they do."

"Well, we can't control that. No use worrying about it."

"I'll try not to."

I decide to head over to Ant's before going to Eddie's. I need to tell him what happened without the others around. He doesn't seem to be worried about it. I guess since I got past Mr. Turner once, he might not bother me again. I hope. Everything went well at rehearsal except having a slight crack in my voice when I pushed it a little too far with 'Tired of Toein the Line.' I guess we won't be doing that one this weekend. It also gives me an idea what songs will give me a problem in the Saturday set.

Another thing his visit triggered is that I decide to start taking self-defense lessons. I may not ever be able to handle 4 guys, but I want a fighting chance (no pun intended) if I have to take on one.

Friday October 7

The school week ended up pretty much OK. Paul Turner found me both days and asked if I heard anything. Of course I hadn't. I wonder if making something up will stop him from bugging me. Nah, anything I could think of, he or his dad will probably check out. A daily question from Paul is definitely safer.

It's almost 8:00. I think I'm more nervous than my first show. I guess it's because this is the first one since I'm unofficially 'out.' I talked to the guys about it and said I thought it would be best to bring it right out in front, like I did pretty successfully at school. They were hesitant, but Ant agreed it was the way to go, so they reluctantly agreed.

"Hello Garson's. We're Back!!"

Cheers and applause.

"OK, before we start, how many out there haven't heard about Anthony and I getting beat up?"

Only about a dozen people raise their hands.

"Do you all even know how to read? Just kidding. I figured it would be almost everybody. Anyway, we both got beat up because someone overheard something when we were in a motel at the shore a little over a month ago and made some assumptions about us. Aside from other injuries, one thing I had happen was almost having my larynx crushed. So I've had to take it easy with my voice for the last month or so. With that, we've had to work on our set lists a little bit. Most of you know we mix things around anyway, but tonight, there's one song I definitely won't tackle. Free Bird."

Boos and whistles.

"OK, OK, I'm kidding. That one stays. 'Tired of Toein' the Line' is temporarily off the table. You probably don't want to hear me squeak, and who knows what will happen after the first squeak. So, like I said, I had to 'Take it Easy.' Gabe, if you please."

After the Eagles, we go into 'Third Time Lucky' which is probably the closest to be needing to be dropped. Lonesome Dave's voice is almost on the brink of causing me to squeak. I lowered those points by an octave. After that, I addressed the 800 pound gorilla.

"OK, back to one idiot's assumption. Unfortunately, because it was true, Ant and I suffered the consequences of being outed before we were ready. So, Ant and I want to show everybody we're now out and proud."

Ant had been walking up to me as I was saying this. I turn to him and we kiss. Not a big one, about five seconds. Most of the crowd applauded at first. After about 10 seconds the crowd was giving Ant and I a standing ovation. I had to wait for it to finally die down.

"Thank you. Thank you. We thought our fans would support us. You guys are great. So for this next song, I have to apologize to Stevie Ray Vaughan for changing the lyrics a bit. Rich?"

We do 'Pride and Joy' with the gender switched from female to male. I look at Ant while I'm singing, giving high fives to the folks closest to the stage during the bridge. Another loud round of applause follows.

"Damn, you guys are great. Gabe, got your acoustic ready? (He does) OK, let's wake this place up chasing the herd!!"

As usual, I take the last almost 2 minutes of '(Ghost) Riders in the Sky' visiting the audience. Hugs and high fives all around. We end the first set to another ovation. For me, it's one of our best shows ever. The best part is my voice still feels and sounds good. The rest of the night is no different. After Free Bird, Ant and I walk off the stage hand-in-hand while the crowd is still cheering.

"Man, you two were right. They ate up being the first crowd to officially know about you two. I was afraid half of them would boo and the other half would walk out."

"Rich, you gotta learn to expect the good sometimes. But you're right about them loving it. I hear them chanting 'Pete and Ant' right now. I guess we should go out and give them another wave?"

"Yeah, they might not let us leave if we don't go out for an encore kiss."

That's what we do. Ant and I walk back out and up on the stage, holding hands, we bow, then turn to kiss each other. This one lasted about 20 seconds and the cheers got louder the longer it lasted. I wasn't going to be able to be heard over the crowd without straining my voice, or possibly doing so. I had Ant yell 'Thank you' as we walked off the stage again.

"God, I love you so much after that Pete. I hope we can get out of here quick. I need you so bad."

"Even with a decreased libido, I still need you too Ant. Let's say goodbye to the guys and skip out the side door."

"Hey, thanks for supporting us, guys. I hope the crowd reaction will be similar tomorrow night. It was definitely a risk admitting we're gay in front of a crowd. I know Ant and I are happier now that we don't have to hide. Hopefully there won't be any more assholes. I've started taking delf-defense lessons, so even if I am confronted, my size won't be as big a disadvantage."

"Good luck guys. Now get out of here and go make out or something."

"Thanks David. That's exactly what we're gonna do."

Ant and I get back to his house, grab a couple sodas from his mini-fridge.

"So, ready to take David's advice?"

"In a minute Ant. I wanted to ask you a couple things. Like what you thought about my taking self-defense classes?"

"I'm all for it. Like you said, being a little smaller than average, it can't hurt to go for every advantage you can. Just don't use any moves on me."

"I don't think there's anything you can do to me that would cause that."

"What about raping you?"

"Ooooh. Tough question. I think I'd just lie back and enjoy it."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I think I've recuperated enough."

"Now that I know you're ready, I can start thinking about it. What was question number 2."

"That was it; about us making love again. Oh, hey, I don't think you'll need the tissues and mouthwash. I did some more research and the threat of peeing instead of cumming is pretty slim. Plus, not cumming at all isn't necessarily going to happen every time. There's still the chance it can, but most often, it'll just be spermless. Is that even a word? Anyway, let's shut up and suck each other."

"Um, I don't know. Maybe what the world would be if sperm whales go extinct. Ha ha. Gee, I love it when you're so romantic. Shut up and suck each other? How about we caress each other's penises orally?"

"That sounds good. Let's suck. He he."

"You're incorri..."

I didn't let him finish. I leaned in and kissed him. After a couple minutes of that, I straddled his face and leaned down toward his dick. The motion having the effect of putting my dick right in front of his face. He didn't waste any time starting to caress my penis orally. Nor did I. Ant came before I did. Slow orgasms are another potential side effect. Ant rolled us over so he was on top and continued the caress. I gently licked his balls and shaft. After another couple minutes of this I came.

"Mmmmm, tastes just as good without the sperm."

Saturday October 8

Other than having my first Karate lesson this morning, the day was a normal Saturday. Got my homework out of the way since I didn't finish yesterday before the show. After that, a short walk through tonight's set list then dinner and relaxing until it's time to head out for the show.

I'm a little more confident tonight based on last night's reception. Usually a good chunk of the people are common the two nights, so I know not everyone would have a problem. That doesn't exclude the select few who might. So I start the night with a similar announcement as last night. Fewer people knew what happened, obviously newbies, so I went through the first part about the attacks. Instead of 'Take It Easy' we started off with our song 'Live Your Own Life.' Because that's what I was going to do. The apology before 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love' was to Freddie Mercury instead though. There was applause after we kissed, but no ovation. Maybe there was more overlap from last night, who knows. Nobody threw beer bottles or food while we were kissing, so I guess that's something.

While a little more tame than usual, musically, it seemed like everybody had a good time. There were still high fives and shoulder slaps when I mingled with the crowd. It's always loud, so if anybody said anything negative, I didn't hear it.

After a full week and the shows, I'm a little tired, so Ant and I just snuggled and caught a movie on cable. A little kissing afterward and it was time to leave to go home.

Monday October 10

It's Columbus Day, no school, so I call Ant and see if he wants to do something.

"Hey Ant."

"Hi Pete. What's u...um, going on?"

"Didn't want the wise-ass answer, huh? Not much. No school today, thinking maybe you'd want to do something."

"Yeah, I was just thinking about that too. Have you seen 'Die Hard' yet? I think it's the last week for it at AMC."

"No, I'm just as busy as you are. Sounds good."

"There's a matinee at 1:20, we can head out now, and grab some lunch first. Pizza good?"

"Am I a 17-year-old boy?"

"OK, dumb question. Meet you at Vinnie's?"

"Sure. I can be there in about 15."

"Cool, see you then. Love you Pete."

"Love you too."

So, we got our pizza, then watched John McClane deal with Hans Gruber and a bunch of inept quasi-terrorists. Why is it the bad guys, even with better armaments, can't hit a thing and the good guys are always expert marksmen? You gotta admit though, there were a number of awesome lines. "We're gonna need some more FBI guys, I guess." After the movie we went back to Ant's for a little alone time. Sure, we snuck a couple kisses during the movie, but blowjobs or hand jobs in a public place? Not cool. So, the only explosions that happened were on the screen.

We get into Ant's bedroom and I see a towel on his bed and a bottle of hand lotion on his nightstand. These are not things usually present in his room.

"Um, do the new additions mean what I think they mean?"

"What new additions?"

"Like you don't know. The towel and hand lotion?"

"What do you think they mean?"

I know he's only messing with me because he can't keep himself from smiling, so I decide to give it right back.

"You've been jerking off without me, haven't you?"

"What? No. They're for... Oh shit. You got me. That's not really what you were thinking they're for, is it?"

"No. And I love you for it. I know I'm ready. Are you sure you're not too afraid of hurting me?"

"Who put out the towel and hand lotion?"

I don't need to answer. I just grab him and start kissing.

"Just so you know. I'm only halfway ready. I'm not sure about you making love to me yet, but I'm definitely ready to make love to you. I have to get past my fear of complicating your recovery."

"Sure. I understand. That would stress my genitals more. We can wait a little while for that, just not forever."

"Of course. Only a year or two. He he."

I need more revenge for him busting my chops, so I knock him onto his bed, which I could only do catching him off-guard, and start tickling him. He's very ticklish on the sides of his ribs. It isn't long before he's gasping for breath, trying to say 'stop.' Then I realize doing this may task his lung too much.

"Oh shit. Sorry, I forgot your lung. You OK?"

He holds up a finger to indicate wait a minute. He catches his breath.

"Yeah, I'm OK. I couldn't breathe just because of the tickling, no harm done to my lung. I think to make up for that I'm going to pound your ass harder than ever before."

"Ooooh. Why are we still dressed?"

With that, we undress each other. Before we lie down on his bed, he reaches into his nightstand drawer and pulls out the bottle of lubricant.

"Having that out would have been a little too obvious. I thought the hand lotion was a nice touch."

"Definitely a little more subtle than lube. Now keep your promise and pound my ass."

He starts slowly, still a little tentative about my surgery, but I keep telling him 'harder' or 'faster' and before long, he really is pounding my ass. Another minute of full force pounding and I'm cumming on my stomach. My muscles contracting help him over the edge and he starts coating the insides of my ass with his cum. I really missed that feeling. He rolls off me and collapses next to me.

"Wow. That was good. I think I might have pushed myself a little too hard though. My chest hurts a little."

He hands me a stethoscope.

"I know you're not a doctor, but if something's really wrong, you'll notice a difference between the two lungs. Give a listen, please?"

"Yes. Oh shit. I hope you're OK."

I start listening to his lungs, both regular breaths and deep breaths. Like he said, I'm not a doctor and I'm not really noticing a difference.

"They sound the same to me, but I really don't know what I'm listening for. Do you want to go to the ER or Urgent Care?"

"Let me just rest for a couple minutes."

"You don't feel better in two minutes and we're going to the ER. Or if it gets worse; then I'm calling an ambulance. I do know the chances of a recurrence are highest in the first 30 days. I don't want you taking any chances."

It's obvious that it's getting harder for him to breathe. I pick up his phone and call 911 to get the ambulance here as soon as possible. Next I grab his jeans and pull them on him. No time for underwear or a shirt. I put my pants and a shirt on and run downstairs to tell his mom what's going on.

"Mrs. Rossi, I think Ant's lung collapsed again. I called the ambulance. Do you want to go up and sit with him or wait for them outside so they find the house quickest?"

"I'll go up if you don't mind."

"Not at all. I'll be outside."

The ambulance got there in just a couple minutes. I showed the EMTs in and up to Ant's room. He was still having trouble breathing, but he didn't look any worse than a few minutes ago. We filled in the EMTs on what happened and his history and off they went. His mom rode in the ambulance with him. I followed along in my car. Fuck. He was worried about hurting me. Neither one of us considered him pushing so hard during sex would have an impact for him.

I got to the hospital and Ant was already inside. I didn't want to risk them saying I couldn't go back to see him, so I told the nurse he was my brother. She gave me the room number and I found it, waiting outside the curtain with his mother because of all the activity inside. She asked the question I was dreading.

"What do you think happened to cause the collapse?"

"Um. Shit, don't hate me. We were making love and Ant pushed himself too hard. After we finished he said his chest hurt. He got worse pretty quickly."

"Why would I hate you? I'm sure it's not your fault. We were told this could happen."

"Well, I tickled him a little before it and he had to catch his breath."

"Don't blame yourself Pete. You reacted quickly. He'll be OK. Listen, it's quieting down in there already."

She was right, the panicked mode everybody seemed to be in a minute ago had settled. The doctor came out to talk to us.

"Mrs. Rossi?"

"Yes."

The doctor looked at me.

"I'm his brother, Pete."

I'm hoping Mrs. Rossi won't blow my cover. She doesn't. The doctor looks suspicious but continues anyway.

"We got the lung restored pretty quickly. I've given him a sedative so he can rest. I don't expect any immediate complications, but we should keep him one or two nights to make sure he's strong enough. You can go in with him. I'll look the other way, Pete. I know you're not his brother, but the concern is written all over your face. I can guess the real relationship. I'll be checking in on him throughout the day and evening."

"Thanks doctor. I'd be a wreck if I couldn't be in there with him."

"You're welcome. Just don't tell anybody the truth."

His mom and I go into the room. As the doctor indicated, he's sleeping quietly. No alarms are going off on any of the monitoring systems, so I'm feeling less stressed. After waiting a few minutes, I ask if she wants to call her husband. Looking at her watch, she indicates in a few minutes.

"I'll go and give Eddie a call, let him know we won't make it to rehearsal tonight. I'll be right back so you can call Mr. Rossi."

She nods and I leave to find a phone. I make the call, also calling my mom to tell her I won't be home for dinner and what happened, and am back in his room in just a couple minutes. Mrs. Rossi steps out to call her husband. I just stand there blaming myself, even though she told me not to.

The doctor came back in about two hours, took a look at the monitors, listened to his lungs and said everything was looking good. I would have loved to stay longer, but even after grabbing a bite in the cafeteria, it was starting to get late and there was really nothing I could do with him being asleep. Not to mention there being school tomorrow. Mr. Rossi came by after work, so Mrs. Rossi has a ride home. I give them both a hug and say goodnight. When I get home, mom and dad are concerned so I fill them in on most of what happened. I left out the making love part. I didn't think mom could handle that and they really didn't need all the details. It wasn't until I undressed to take a shower that I realized I left my underpants and a t-shirt in Ant's room. Oh well, I'll get them after he comes home. If his mom sees extra clothes in his room, probably on the floor, if memory serves, she knows what we were doing anyway. It also occurs to me that she didn't seem surprised when I told her we were making love.

Tuesday October 11

Aside from being worried about Ant, school goes OK. Still no negative impacts of coming out. I'm starting to believe the worst is over. Jim and Andy have my back if anybody hassles me. Oddly enough Andy has been, I don't know, friendlier, maybe a little more touchy-feely since I came out. I'm obviously not about to ask him, but I'm starting to wonder if he's struggling with his sexuality. I'll have to try to think of a non-insulting way of asking him. It's like he's reaching out for comfort, but without really knowing he's doing it.

I have another Karate lesson after school, then I plan on visiting Ant in the hospital. I touched base with his mom tight after school. She said he'll be in for at least another day.

"Hey wheezy."

"Funny. Hi Pete. How was school? I don't see any bruises."

"Nope, no bruises, no problems. One thing that's bugging me though. My friend Andy has been acting odd since we came out. I wonder if maybe he's struggling with his sexuality. But I don't have a clue how to find out."

"He's been a friend for a while, right?"

"Yeah, since 4th grade."

"He's probably not going to pissed at you if you start with something like, you have a feeling something's been bothering him, does want to talk about it. That way you're not accusatory in any way and it gives him an easy out if he wants one."

"How'd you get so smart?"

"Besides being with you so much? I've known I was gay for like 4 years now. Had a similar discussion with my first, kind of, boyfriend. Being on the uncertain side."

"Hmmm. Sounds good. Maybe I'll ask him tomorrow, see if he wants to come over and talk. We really haven't hung out a lot lately, with everything that's been going on. But, more importantly, how are you doing?"

"Dos says I'm coming along slowly. No real threats, but he still wants to watch me for another day."

"Bummer. So they're keeping you until probably Thursday?"

"Yep. Boredom and hospital food for almost two whole days more."

"Damn. I miss you, even though I'm visiting every day."

"I get it, it's not the same. I think I'm going to have some restrictions when I get out though."

"Whatever it is, we can deal with it."

"I love how you're so understanding and patient."

"What's the alternative? Getting stressed out about something we can't control? I've had enough stress in the last month, I don't need to make more for myself. Or for you."

"Now you sound like the smart one. I don't want to chase you, but I get tired easily. I think I want to take a nap."

"OK. We need you to get better, so I'm not going to push you. No worries about chasing me. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you."

"You can kiss me goodbye though. And I love you too."

I give Ant a short, but deep kiss.

It's still early when I get home so I decide to give Andy a call, see if he wants to hang out, maybe get a burger.

"Hello?"

"Hey Andy, Pete."

"Hey bud, what's up? Wait, don't answer that, I don't think I want to know."

"I'll give you a straight answer, same shit, different day."

"Are you allowed to do that?"

"Do what?"

"Give straight answers."

"Dickhead. Hey, reason I called, we haven't hung out much lately with all the shit that's happened, the band..."

"A boyfriend."

"Yeah, that too. You wanna grab a burger and hang out for a while?"

"Wow, tough choice. Burger with you or boredom at home."

"You really are something. I'll pick you up in 10 or 15?"

"Works for me. See ya shortly bud."

I tell mom I'm skipping dinner to hang out with Andy.

"That's good. You haven't seen him too much lately. You can't forget your old friends because of new ones."

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. See you later, love ya."

"I love you too dear."

I pull up to Andy's house and he's sitting out front waiting.

"This is good, between you missing school and Jim hanging with Lisa all the time, it's been a drag. Thanks for rescuing me."

"No problem, sorry I haven't done a better job. Lisa Perkins?"

"Yeah, a couple weeks now."

"Wow, I never would have put them together."

"Yeah, it's pretty funny. She doesn't even come up to his armpits. He says it's going well though."

"Good for him. I bet that's some of why it seems you've had something bothering you for a while."

"Yeah, I guess that's part of it. You OK if I bend your ear for a while? I need your input on something."

"Any time, you know that. And I'll definitely make more time for us, since Jim's abandoned you too."

"OK, let's go eat first. Mickey D's OK?"

"Sure, it's food, ain't it?"

"Some people don't think so."

"They're wrong. He he."

We get to McDonald's, order our food and find a table away from everybody.

"So, what's on your mind, Andy?"

"I haven't had much time to think about how I'm going to say this, so if I struggle a little, just bear with me."

"Sure thing. We've been friends a long time, you can tell or ask me anything."

"I know, but I kind of think this will be a little awkward."

"Just take your time, we got all night."

"Thanks. OK, um, you were going out with Cathy Romano for a while, right?"

Not the direction I thought this was going to go. Maybe it'll be easier this way.

"Yeah, about a month."

"OK. I thought it was longer. Um, do you think she'd have a problem going out with someone like me?"

"Because... you're black?"

"Yeah."

"I can't say for sure, but no, she doesn't seem the type. You like her I guess."

"Yeah. But what's not to like?"

"I hear ya, she is very pretty."

"What about her folks?"

"I doubt it, but that's another story. Her dad is an Assistant DA for the county. If he was prejudiced, it'd be a problem for his job."

"An ADA. I bet that was a fun first meeting."

"You have no idea. If you're going to ask her out, I can give you a couple tips to deal with that first meeting."

"Oh, man that'd be awesome. This is probably a stupid question, but you don't have a problem with me asking her out?"

"No. I forbid it. Ha ha. No, go for it. I wish you all the luck in the world."

"OK, so what about those tips?"

"OK, two things. You already know what her dad does for a living. I got hit with that as a surprise. When you meet the family, he's going to, um, put you on the witness stand."

"Huh?"

"He'll ask you a bunch of questions. I'm not going to tell you the questions because he's really big on honesty. If you knew what he was going to ask in advance, you might want to have prepared answers, he'll see right through that. Just be honest and you should be OK. Unless you've been the male version of a slut."

"I wish."

"Good. You should pass her dad's piece."

"And her mom's?"

"Nope. Her brother. He's a year older than we are, but he's had a troubled history. Again, I won't give you details, but that history has somehow given him the ability to know almost immediately what kind of person you are. No matter how well you hide it, if you're a total dick, which you aren't, he'll know."

"You're fucking with me, right?"

"Not at all. Cathy told me that there was one boy, her brother shook his hand and ran out of the room yelling 'no, no, no.' Some time later that kid was arrested for drugs."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah. Fortunately, he loved me."

Boy is that a fucking understatement.

"He never picked up on the fact you were gay?"

"No. But I really didn't know it at that point in time."

"I guess not, you probably wouldn't have gone out with her."

"Yep. And there is one more thing, if you pass all the tests."

"Uh oh."

"Nope, just a 'be smart' suggestion. RB, her brother, likes to spy. So if you start getting physical with her, don't go too far if he's anywhere around."

"He's a perv, huh?"

"Um, not exactly. But if he catches you doing anything with Cathy he thinks his parents wouldn't like, he could try to take advantage of that knowledge."

"Like blackmail me?"

"Not like. Exactly."

"Fuuuuuck. Wow. I'm glad I talked to you. Of course if she says no when I ask her out the rest is moot."

"I think you'll be OK. She knows we're friends, she might even ask me about you. I'll give you a five star review."

"Thanks, bud. You're a good friend. Let's go play pool for a while. On me. Drinks and snacks too."

"Sounds good."

We spend the rest of the evening together. I don't know why I thought he may have been struggling with his sexuality. I guess because of how I am, I figured that'd be the biggest worry for a 17-year-old guy. I'm really happy for him. I hope Cathy will go out with him. Shit, if he was gay, and I didn't have Ant, I would in a heartbeat.

Wednesday October 12

I walk into the cafeteria at lunchtime and I see Andy standing in line next to Cathy. I'm guessing he didn't need to work up the courage to talk to her. She sees me and waves. They go to the same table after they get their food. Obviously I leave them alone. I have my groupie and the rest of my high school fan club I can eat with whenever I like. I find Tyler, my groupie, and go sit with him.

"Hey Tyler. Mind if I sit with you?"

"Are you kidding? Please."

"I didn't think you'd have a problem with it, but I didn't want to intrude if you had plans to eat with anybody else."

"That's not usually a problem. Most people avoid me."

"Why?"

"I think you suspect why."

"You want to get closer to me not because I'm a 'rock star.'"

"Kind of. People suspect I might be gay. Nobody knows for sure. Well, except you now."

"I won't tell anybody. I know firsthand what could happen if the wrong people find that out."

"Thanks."

"But you know being seen with me will make people assume the worst."

"I know. But I'm afraid of hiding myself from the real me. Before you came out, I didn't know anyone else who even might have been gay. It was too lonely being what I thought was the only one. You being out has given me at least a little courage. Let people think what they want, but I'm more comfortable with myself now."

"Good for you. If you ever want to talk, I'll be there for you. I'd give you my number now, but that may look too suspicious to some people."

"Fuck 'em."

I write my phone number on a napkin and hand it to Tyler.

"Call me if you ever want to talk. Depending on my schedule, maybe we can hang out once in a while."

"I'd like that. And I'm sorry if I came on too strong when you, um, got famous. I guess I was a bit star struck."

"No worries."

"Thanks. Um, do you think maybe we can get together in the next day or so. I'd love to ask you some things about being gay. Some personal stuff, mostly just generally."

"Yeah sure. Anthony's still in the hospital, so we can hang out tonight if you want. I'll be going to see him after school, but like after 5 or 5:30 I'll be home."

"Oh no. Why's he back in the hospital?"

"His lung collapsed again."

"Oh, that sucks. But yeah, tonight should be good. I'll have to check with my mom, but she'll be happy I have a new friend."

"I hear ya. Give me a call after you know. We can go do something, or meet at one of our houses if you really just want to talk um, more privately."

"Yeah. That'll be good. I'll call you later. Thanks for sitting with me."

"No problem. I enjoyed talking to you. Guess it's time to head back to classes. See you later, hopefully."

"OK. Later."

Boy, did I have things mixed up. Yeah, I suspected Tyler was gay, but I thought it was Andy who might want to talk about being gay. After classes I catch up to Andy at our lockers. He's got a big smile on his face when he walks up to me.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"I saw you talking to Cathy at lunch. Did you ask her out?"

"Yes. We're going to the movies Friday night. She did ask if I minded if she talked to you about me. Of course, I said it was OK, you probably knew me better than anyone else."

"Good for you. I hope it works out. Like I said, 5-star review."

"Thanks. But if it does work out, we may not be able to hang out much."

"Hey, quite alright. I'd be happy to ignore you so you can spend time with Cathy."

"Yeah, thanks. I think."

"I'm kidding. You still want to hang out some time, I'll be there, band commitments notwithstanding."

"Cool. Well, see you tomorrow. And thanks in advance for putting in a good word."

I walk home feeling pretty satisfied with myself. I've helped two people out in the past 24 hours, and stand to help them a little more in the near future. Tyler's not really a bad guy. Like he said, he was a little star struck. Nothing wrong with that, and now I have another friend that is gay. I head to the hospital to visit Ant after dropping things off at home. He's looking pretty much back to normal. Well, as much as someone can wearing a hospital gown. I think he looks sexy in it, but I guess I'm biased. He happened to need to use the bathroom while I was there. I got to watch him walking away. Hospital gowns never completely close in the back. Seeing his ass got me horny.

After I get back home, mom told me Cathy called. No surprise there.

"Hi Pete. Thanks for calling me back. Got a few minutes to talk?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"You're good friends with Andy Johnson, right?"

"Yeah. I've known him since 4th grade."

"Well, he asked me out today. I said yes because I knew he was your friend. Although, I told him I would ask you about him since I don't know him really well."

"Yeah, he mentioned that. He's been a good friend. He's a nice guy, accepted my being gay without hesitation. You could do a lot worse. Actually, probably couldn't really do much better."

"You're not just saying that because he's your friend?"

"Nope. You're my friend too. If I didn't think he'd be good to you, I would say so. I wouldn't want to see you get hurt. No, he's never gotten into trouble, any more than your typical teen angst. We TP'd houses, that's probably about the worst I've ever see him do."

"You? Somehow I can't picture that."

"Well, just for you, I'll make sure when you wake up Halloween morning, your house has been TP'd."

"Funny. So, what do you think RB would have to say about him?"

"Well, I doubt he'll run from the room screaming. I think he'd like him. And I'm pretty sure he'd do a pretty good job with the inquisition too, he he."

"OK. I'll give him a shot. It's only a movie. If we don't seem to get along, it's not a big deal."

"Cool. I think you'll be happy though. Actually, he was a little worried about what you'd think about going out with a black boy."

"That doesn't bother me. I'm sure it will bother others in the school, but I don't really care what a lot of strangers think."

"Good for you. It's never made a difference for Jim or me either."

"Thanks. Maybe I'll bring him to your show Saturday if Friday works out."

"Cool."

"OK goodnight, and thanks for the input."

"No problem."

Mom has dinner ready and right after we finish the phone is ringing again. I don't recognize the number but I'm guessing it may be Tyler because it's local.

"Hello?"

"Hi Pete. Tyler Watkins."

"Hi Tyler. So, what's the good word?"

"Like I thought, mom's happy I have a new friend. Is it OK if I come over? And if so, what's your address?"

I tell him it's OK and give him my address. He says he'll be here in about a half hour.

"Hey mom, dad. You don't know him, but Tyler Watkins is going to come over for a while. He has something he wants to talk to me about."

"Sure son. We never stop you from having friends over. Is he new in town or something?"

"No dad, he's been around. A bit of a loner though. He wants some advice that, um, there aren't a lot of people he can ask."

"OK. Enough said. We won't pry."

"Thanks."

Tyler gets there in a little under the half hour. I introduce him to my parents, and we head to my room for a little privacy.

"Thanks for letting me come over. Pretty cool room. It doesn't look like it's a gay kid's room. Sorry if that sounded rude."

"No problem. It's been like this for a couple years, way before I knew I was gay. About the only 'gay' addition is Ant's picture."

"Yeah. He's good looking."

"Yep. So, do you have questions, or did you just want to have someone to hang out with? We can play video games, watch a movie, a board game. Whatever you want."

"Yeah, I do have a few questions, but I'd love to just hang out afterward."

"Works for me. Ask away."

"OK. Um, how did you first realize you were really gay?"

"Well, I think the deciding factor was when I met Anthony. He knew he was gay and wanted to, um, get to know me better. I'll have to ask you to keep all this to yourself."

"Of course. I don't know who I'd tell anyway."

"OK. Well, he liked me right away. Even though he didn't think I was gay, neither did I at that point, but he wanted to kiss me at least once. I'd already joined the band, we'd started being friends, so I said OK. Well, it turned into more than a simple kiss. After that, I knew Ant was who I wanted to be with."

"That's sweet. But you must have had some inkling you were gay."

"Sort of. There was a feeling like electricity whenever I touched Ant. Right from the first time we met and shook hands. I was actually afraid of what might happen if I kissed him because of those feelings. Fortunately, it worked out for us."

"Nice. Um, if this is too personal, you don't have to answer."

"OK. I'll try to be as open as I can, but yeah, I guess within some limits."

"I'm guessing by the stories I've heard about how you got outed, you've done more than kiss?"

"Yes, we have."

"Um, sorry for being blunt, but have you sucked his dick?"

"Yes, we've done that."

"Did you like it right away?"

"Yes. But Ant and I had already at least started falling in love. So that made it special enough. But, yes, I like doing it as well as having him do it to me."

"I've always kind of wondered whether I would or not. I mean, I've tasted my own cum, I guess everybody does, but someone else's, I don't know about."

"Well, you probably can't know for sure until you do. But if you have the desire to try it, my guess is you'd probably like it."

"Maybe. I just wish there was someone I knew that I'd be able to try it with."

"Um, I don't..."

"No, no. I don't mean to imply doing it with you. You have a boyfriend and I'd never try to get in the way. I meant someone else."

"OK. Well, unfortunately, I don't know anybody else who for sure is gay. Or even for that matter would let a guy suck his dick even if he wasn't."

Although I do know that RB had no problem with me sucking his dick, and even fucking me once.

"You look like you're not really sure about that."

"Um, yeah. But that's complicated. Not something I'd be comfortable sharing."

"OK, I understand. Like I said, some things might be too personal."

"Thanks. But I'll think about it. If I can help you on that topic, I will. Just give me a little time."

"Yeah, sure. I'd appreciate anything you could suggest."

"Anything else?"

"Yeah, but this is really, um, off the wall."

"Go ahead, the worst I can do is say no, not answer, whatever."

"Is it true, um, that you had to have your testicles removed?"

"Yes. When I got beat, after I passed out, apparently, I was kicked down there so many times the doctor couldn't save them. If someone didn't come around the corner, that may not have been the end of it. It may have been the end of me."

I shuddered with the memories.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset. Um, that wasn't the off the wall part though. Do you think I can see, um, what you look like without them?"

"It's not as off the wall as you may think. Obviously, Ant wanted to see, but he wasn't the only other one who asked."

"I guess it's kind of unusual. Curiosity is a strange thing."

"Yeah. But, well, I want us to be friends, so I'll show you."

I stood up and pulled down my pants and underpants. Tyler moved in pretty close for a look.

"Um. Can I touch your scrotum?"

"Wow. Um."

"No, never mind. That was over the line."

"No. It's OK. Just don't make a big deal out of it, like a couple seconds."

He reached out and felt me where my balls would have been.

"Thanks. Does it feel a lot different to you?"

"Yeah. It took some getting used to. But I'm used to it now."

I pull my pants back up and sit back down.

"If you want to see mine, to be fair, that'd be OK."

"I don't really have the need to, but I'm thinking you want to see what it feels like to let someone else see you."

"Yeah. I mean, kids have seen me in the locker room, but not really looked, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah. Go ahead."

He pulls down his pants and underpants too. His is the third dick that I've seen close up now. Definitely the biggest one. I shouldn't, but I feel a stirring in my groin. I stop looking before I want to do anything else. I'm definitely not going to ask him if I can touch him. Fortunately, he starts feeling uncomfortable and covers back up.

"It's definitely a good size. It will probably make some boy really happy."

"Thanks. It felt weird having you look directly at it. Um. Maybe I should be going."

"You don't have to. I mean it's natural to play 'if you show me yours...' so I'm OK with you staying. We can play a game or something."

"Um, maybe another time. I really shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. I'm going to go."

"OK, I won't stop you, but, really, it's OK."

"Yeah. Bye."

I walk him out, wondering why he got so freaked out about it. Maybe because he was pretty hard? But if he thinks he's gay, that shouldn't have been a big surprise. I'll have to make sure to tell him everything is OK when I see him tomorrow.

Next Up - "Ant Comes Home and Thursday is Surprise Day"