Kiss me to Springtime - 16. Chapter 16

Soubi looked upset.

Ryo walked around their bed and frowned when Soubi took two steps back away from him. Dark eyes held his demanding an answer to an impossible question. The only thing he was sure of right now was that he needed Soubi in his life. And that taking Soubi to live with him would be a trial unless he kept him hidden.

“I’m sorry, Soubi.”

Soubi took in a sharp breath, his eyes filled with pain. The sight of it made Ryo feel like shit, so he closed his eyes briefly. He moved closer edging Soubi toward the dresser where there would be no escape.

“I’m sorry because I can’t let you leave me if that’s what you want,” Ryo murmured.

Soubi took a step back and came up against the large dresser.

Ryo closed the distance between them and held on to Soubi’s upper arms.

“I’m sorry because I’ll drag you with me to Ginza if I have to, Soubi. I’ll make you live through the torture of being with an Asada because you’re the only reason I’ll survive it.”

“Ryo,” Soubi whispered.

Ryo shook Soubi for a moment hating the fear in Soubi’s voice. What was he thinking dragging Soubi into the world of the Asada’s? Hadn’t he just promised to protect Sakura a few days ago? Why would he then force Soubi?

“Ryo,” Soubi said again lifting a hand to touch his chest. “I don’t want to break up with you.”

Ryo closed his eyes and changed his mind.

“You don’t have to go. This is my shit and—

“I’ll come,” Soubi cut him off harshly.

“No, I can’t expect you to deal with Sei. You can stay here with Kaito and I’ll visit—

“Stop it!” Soubi ordered, punching Ryo’s chest. “One minute you want me to come, the next you think I should stay here, the only thing I got from this stupid conversation is that you love me.”

Ryo bit his lip and stared at the top of Soubi’s bent head.

“I promised you I wouldn’t leave. I broke that promise when I left you at Christmas and New Year’s. I don’t want to break anymore.”

“I’m used to broken promises.”

“Not from me,” Ryo said, his fingers tightening on Soubi’s arm. “That’s not what I want for us.”

“Things are changing,” Soubi said finally looking up.

Ryo was surprised to find determined dark eyes where he’d expected tears and sadness.

“I know. If Tohaku hadn’t died, if he hadn’t gone to mix up with—

“Stop, don’t think ill of your brother, Ryo.”

“I’ve thought worse of Tohaku these past weeks. I’ve been angry with him. I’ve cursed him.” Ryo let go of Soubi and went to sit on the edge of the bed. “I’ve blamed him for everything that’s happening to me, to us.”

Soubi crossed his arms against his chest.

“I blamed my parents for passing away too. I was so angry with them. Grandma thought it was going to kill me.”

Ryo swallowed hard and tried to be thankful that he still had his parents. He then remembered that his mother was the reason he was in turmoil and he cursed under his breath.

“I got a contract with Sasha Inc.” Soubi continued watching him intently. “It will give me time to do…other things. In case, you need me to—, I mean you’ll probably have social obligations…if—

Ryo frowned.

“Soubi, what are you stammering your way through.”

“Nothing,” Soubi shrugged, shaking his head. “It’s not important.”

“Soubi—

“This new place,” Soubi pushed off the dresser glancing around their room, “is it furnished or do we have to find a moving truck?”

Ryo stared at him for a moment and then a chuckle bubbled out.

“It’s furnished almost down to the wardrobe.”

“I’ll keep my rags thanks.” Soubi smiled at him and Ryo’s heart jumped in happiness. “What new position is making all these happen?”

Ryo watched Soubi move around the bed to get the abandoned tray. Ryo took the bowl of food and chopsticks and continued eating.

“Tohaku left me his share of Asada Group.”

“Wow, he must have loved you very much. What about Sakura’s baby?” Soubi asked finally taking a piece of the remaining toast. “Will you leave her alone?”

“No,” Ryo shook his head. “She’s carrying my brother’s son. My flesh and blood, I’ll take care of her. If you don’t mind—

“Gosh, of course, Ryo,” Soubi said. “She seemed a little lost at the funeral. Is she staying at the estate with your mother?”

“No,” Ryo replied. “She’ll be staying with us until I can get her settled on her own.”

Soubi bit into his toast.

“At least I won’t be alone.”

***

A month later, on a cool morning, Soubi read his schedule and smiled at the receipt stapled to the document. He’d paid off his first semester at Sophia University an hour ago with his own money. He grinned and returned the schedule in the folder the administration office had given him. He’d yet to tell Ryo, but it was enough that he was actually enrolled in a university.

Ever since their move to Ginza, Soubi saw Ryo at night in their bed or not at all. He tried to wake up early to make Ryo breakfast, but that was proving impossible lately. Ryo was constantly meeting business associates for breakfast. Soubi sighed and closed the folder trying not to feel down. The upside of his new lifestyle in the Asada penthouse was that Sasha Inc. was practically five minutes away. He had more time on his hands, allowing him to do the entrance exams at Sophia U. and get the necessary recommendations from his old schools.

“Soubi,” Rin Kouga interrupted his thoughts, and he glanced up to find his ex-boyfriend watching him. “I hope I’m not late.”

“You’re not.” Soubi gave him a tentative smile and watched him slide into the chair across him. “How are you?”

“Surprised,” Rin replied, as he removed his coat and placed it on the chair beside him. “Your call was the last thing I expected. What’s going on?”

Soubi waited for the waiter to take Rin’s order. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a little black box, which he slid to Rin when the waiter left.

“What is this?” Rin took the box and opened it with a small smile. The smile faded when he realized what was in the box. “Why?”

“It’s time, don’t you think?” Soubi sat back in his chair and pointed to the padlock visible on Rin’s neck. “Your manager will stop yelling at you about that padlock too.”

“You can’t do this.” Rin’s tone sounded sharp, panicked.

Soubi frowned at the reaction.

“We’ve been over for a while, Rin. I’m with Ryo and I love him. I can’t keep hurting him by keeping promises to you.”

Rin snapped the box closed and glared at him.

“Are you trying to punish me for leaving you behind?”

“I don’t want to play the blame game.”

“I think it’s too late for that.” Rin placed the box on the table between them. “Would you like to tell me what Ryo was talking about in your kitchen that day?”

So many things had happened in that kitchen in Shimokitazawa. For a moment, Tohaku and the sight of him bleeding out on the floor filled Soubi’s thoughts.

“What are you talking about?” Soubi asked Rin.

“About you high on drugs and it being my fault. You were getting high on your own, Soubi. Why did you lie to Ryo?”

Soubi frowned.

“I have no idea what happened when you were leaving Rin. I was too high to care, however the drugs came to me, I don’t give a fuck anymore. I’ve closed that chapter—

“That’s not fair to me.” Rin cut in harshly. “Ryo was my friend as much as he was yours, Soubi. He’s angry with me, has been ever since I left and I don’t understand why. I’ve tried to fix it—

“You’ve been causing trouble, Rin. Wanting to get back with me, offering me a job, obviously to break me and Ryo apart,” Soubi said, his voice trembled slightly. “You’ve always treated me like I’m some sort of welcome rug. Throw me out when it’s not convenient and take me back when it is.”

“What happened between us, Soubi? Why are you so bitter with me?”

“I knew it all.”

Soubi looked away from Rin.

“The flings with Lira and the other groupies who follow Blazing Red, I knew about them, Rin. When I asked you, you told me they were publicity stunts, but Lira always told me the truth.”

“That bitch was causing trouble,” Rin cursed under his breath. He leaned on the table. “Do you really think I cared about her?”

“I don’t care who you cared about. It’s been over between us for years, Rin. I just couldn’t see it. I called to give that key back to you. You don’t own me anymore, Rin. Not my body, not my heart,” Soubi smiled as he thought about Ryo, “certainly not my soul.”

The waiter chose that moment to bring Rin’s coffee. Rin sat back, his gaze hard as he stared at the black box on the table. When the waiter left, Rin took the box and slipped it into his jacket.

“I hope you’re happy with Asada then.” Rin glanced around the elegant restaurant. “You’ve obviously managed to hit the jackpot. I can only imagine you’re rolling in the money now. Is that why you didn’t want to take my puny job?”

Soubi shook his head.

“Sasha offered me a job representing his brand.”

“Sasha Takeno?” Rin asked in surprise. “Did you fuck him?”

Soubi winced at the accusation.

“I don’t have to sleep around to move ahead, Rin.”

“Touché,” Rin said with a small chuckle. “I remember Sasha from the days you started modeling. He always had a soft spot for you. I’m happy for you.”

“Are you Rin?” Soubi frowned, trying to figure out how this man had gotten so cynical. He’d once looked up to Rin, loved him with everything. Soubi sighed, truthfully a small part of him still loved Rin.

“I hate that you’re happy without me.” Rin confessed staring into his coffee. “It seems like I could never get you there even when we were together. I saw you the night you met Ryo.”

Soubi froze in his seat thinking about the struggle he’d faced those days. Trying to fight his attraction to Ryo when he was clearly in love with Rin, he closed his eyes in shame.

“I knew how you felt about Ryo. It was so clear,” Rin said quietly. “The moment he walked into that coffee shop where we used to hang out, your eyes would follow his every move. The days when Blazing Red had gigs at his brother’s club, you’d sit next to him, listening to him and his friends. It pissed the hell out of me.”

“I’m sorry,” Soubi whispered unable to say anything else.

“The flings with Lira were meant to be payback for that, but Lira started taking it to another level. Acting like we were dating to push you away,” Rin sighed. “I’m sorry for that, Soubi. You deserved better.”

Soubi felt tears sting his eyes and he blinked furiously refusing to cry in such a public place. He reached for his coffee and took a sip of the hot sweet liquid. He cleared his throat and changed the subject.

“How is it going with the tour?”

“Very good,” Rin said taking the subject change. “We’re going to Seoul in two weeks. We’ll be spending a few months there recording.”

“Great,” Soubi said nodding in approval. He was glad Blazing Red was a success. “You should visit Grandma before you go. She asks about you when I go see her.”

Rin’s eyes widened slightly. “You’ve been going to see Grandma willingly?”

Soubi laughed.

“Yeah, she’s helping me take care of someone special.”

“Ryo,” Rin said with a flat unimpressed tone.

Soubi chuckled and shook his head.

“No, his brother’s fiancé, her name is Sakura. She’s pregnant. She’s staying with Ryo and me but obviously none of us has any experience. I introduced her to Grandma.”

Rin pushed his coffee mug away.

“I heard about Tohaku. I’d have come to the funeral, but—

Rin stopped meeting Soubi’s gaze, and then he shrugged.

“Tell Ryo I’m sorry about his brother.”

“I will.” Soubi promised. “You should call him.”

Rin gave him a skeptical look.

“I guess it’s too soon,” Soubi said with a small smile.

Rin nodded in agreement.

“How are you holding up against Sei Asada?”

Soubi felt his shoulders droop.

“She won’t even talk to me when she visits. She acts like I’m not in the room with her.”

“What does Ryo say?” Rin asked.

“What can he say?” Soubi shrugged. “She’s his mother and she just lost one son.”

“You’re his lover.” Rin defended his words sharp, surprising. “He should defend you.”

“It will take time, Rin.” Soubi waved him down. “It’s not like I see her everyday. I only have to deal with her once or twice. Since we moved to Ginza a month ago, she has only showed up twice. I can handle it.”

Rin nodded and shook his head.

“You’re one of a kind, Soubi-chan. I’m sitting here wondering whether to fight for you or advice you. Do you know how unique that is?”

Soubi laughed.

“Advice me then,” Soubi said with a small smile.

“My advice is no good. I couldn’t hold on to you when I had you, kiddo.” Rin sat back in his seat. “It seems I have no choice but to accept you and Ryo Asada.”

“That’s a step forward,” Soubi complimented his smile widening.

Soubi hoped that time would heal his friendship with Rin. Maybe one day, he would be able to sit with Rin and listen to him play his guitar as they had done so long ago. He hoped that it was not too much to ask of fate.

They talked for an hour, and then Rin got a call from his manager. They left the restaurant together and Soubi hugged Rin goodbye when they got outside. Rin got into a taxi and Soubi clutched his folder and started for the Asada building a block away.

****

“Hold still,” Sakura held Soubi’s right hand against her belly. “He’s kicking, you’ll miss it if you—

“Oh, I felt it.” Soubi laughed at the small thump in Sakura’s stomach. “Wow, does it hurt?”

Sakura smiled.

“No, it’s comforting. At least I know he’s okay.”

“You’re going to make a great mum.” Soubi hugged her and turned to the bread he’d been buttering for her. “We’re going to have to visit the gym though when this pregnancy is over. I can’t believe you want to eat this.”

Sakura adjusted her blouse over her belly. “It’s toasted bread.”

“Yeah, fully coated with butter,” Soubi shuddered. “I hate butter.”

He held out the piece of toast and grimaced as she bit into it with relish.

“Jeez, look at you eating that.”

Sakura gave him a happy smile and slid on to a comfortable high chair at the kitchen table.

“Stop complaining,” she said between bites. “I’m eating for two here.”

Soubi placed four toasted slices on a plate and passed them to her.

“Eat all you can. I’ll get you tea.”

“With milk and two sugars,” Sakura ordered.

“Yes, little mother.”

Soubi went to the large refrigerator and reached for a milk carton.

Ryo walked in as he was reaching for a mug from a cupboard above the kitchen counter.

“Hi, Ryo-san,” Sakura greeted him with a wide smile. “You’re home early!”

“Sakura,” Ryo replied in a curt tone. “Soubi, can I talk to you for a moment?”

Soubi frowned and put the mug down.

“Jeez, are you in a bad mood again? Did the stock market crash?”

“I’m not in the mood for jokes. Come with me to the living room.”

Soubi glanced at Sakura with a frown before he pulled off the dishtowel on his shoulder. Ryo strode out of the kitchen leaving behind an enticing whiff of expensive cologne.

Sakura waved him after Ryo.

“Go, find out what’s wrong, Soubi. I’ll get my own tea.”

Soubi sighed and threw the dishtowel on the counter. He hurried after Ryo wondering what could have happened. Walking along the long hallway, he went into the spacious living room to find Ryo at the bar in the corner pouring a drink.

Ryo’s blue suit jacket was tossed with careless abandon on the couch. Soubi picked it up and arranged it neatly over the couch arm.

“Was it a bad day at work?” Soubi asked, leaning on a cream armchair watching Ryo toss back his scotch. “I can prepare you a bath and—

Ryo picked up a folder from the bar counter and stalked toward him, dark eyes blazing with anger. Soubi gasped when Ryo tossed the folder at him. The contents spilled to the floor, like confetti, on the beige carpet. Soubi sat still for a moment too surprised to do anything else but stare at the photographs on the floor.

Bending down, Soubi picked up a glossy photo and turned it around so that he could see who was on it. All he could see was Rin’s red Mohawk for a moment before he realized he was looking at Rin walk into a familiar restaurant. He picked another photo and his eyes widened as he saw himself walk into the same restaurant.

“Are you having me followed?”

“Do I need to?” Ryo asked. “Can you imagine my shock when my secretary walked in with those photos? I am trying to keep things calm between you and my mother, but you’re doing your best to screw it up. What the fuck were you doing with Rin?”

Soubi picked up more photos and shook his head not understanding the problem. They were only having coffee in the pictures. Why the hell was Ryo overreacting like he’d received a sex video?

“Ryo,” Soubi tried to keep his tone calm. “I called Rin early this morning because I wanted to give him back his key. We talked, had coffee and then we parted.”

“How many times have you seen each other?” Ryo asked, his eyes narrowed.

“Once, today,” Soubi said confused. “I swear—

“I can’t—

“I’d never cheat on you with Rin of all people.”

Soubi scoffed and went through the rest of the photos trying to understand where Ryo’s anger was coming from. He froze when he got to one where Rin was holding him tight outside a hotel.

“This was taken before Rin left, Ryo. Before you and I were together. Did you even look at these pictures?”

Ryo stepped back from him.

“Why would you meet Rin without telling me?”

“When was the last time you came home early enough to talk to me?” Soubi asked dumping the photos he was holding on the floor. “This morning I tried to make you breakfast and you told me you had to go.”

“We have phones, don’t we?”

“We sleep in the same bed. Why do I have to call you when I should be able to talk with you face to face?”

“My schedule is very busy, Soubi.” Ryo sat on the couch and ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. “I can’t always make it home like I used to, and I explained the breakfast meeting.”

Their balance was breaking, Soubi realized in a panic. Slowly cracking and he didn’t know how to hold it together. He stared at Ryo seated on the edge of the couch his face buried in his hands.

Where was he going to get the strength to hold them together?

“I should have told you about meeting Rin,” Soubi murmured. “I— I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make trouble with your mom.”

Soubi knelt on the carpet, before Ryo. He ran fingers through Ryo’s hair and placed his right hand on Ryo’s tense shoulders.

“It’s going to be fine.”

Ryo shook his head.

“When I saw those photos, all I kept imagining was you in that bastard’s arms. I can’t bear to lose you to Rin, Soubi. I can’t.”

“You won’t.” Soubi soothed pulling Ryo into his arms. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Ryo wrapped his arms around him and Soubi closed his eyes as they hugged tight. He had no idea where the hell they were heading. Those photos had been deliberate, designed to break them apart. He wondered if it was Sei’s doing.

Soubi held Ryo tighter.

“We need to trust each other, Ryo.”

“I trust you, Soubi. It’s just Rin—

“I went to give him back his key. I don’t care about him, only you, Ryo. I love you.”

Ryo fell silent and they stayed holding each other like that for a while.

***

They had dinner in the kitchen, the three of them, almost like a family, Ryo thought studying Soubi.

“I went for my doctor’s appointment with Soubi. He’s been really good to me today,” Sakura said. “He was so excited to touch my stomach when the baby started kicking earlier.”

Ryo smiled glancing at Soubi who sat across him on the small kitchen table.

“What did the doctor say?” Ryo asked.

“Everything is going well,” Sakura continued. “The baby is due in April. I have six weeks left, but he says the due date might extend a couple days.”

“We've prepared the nursery for when you return from the hospital.” Soubi assured Sakura. “I even have the driver on alert.”

Ryo forced another smile for Soubi, his heart heavy tonight. He hated how he’d reacted in the living room. It was hard to explain the white anger that had taken over when he’d been standing in his office. Those pictures, knowing that his secretary had probably gone through them; he tried not to curse under his breath.

“Ryo,” Sakura said and he glanced at her with a frown. “Did you hear what Soubi said? He was accepted into Sophia University, he’s all set for school.”

“What?” He glanced at Soubi. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to school?”

Soubi gave him a shy smile.

“I wanted to be sure I’d be accepted first. I paid for my classes this morning.”

“With what money?” Ryo asked in shock.

“I paid with my money. I know how to save, Ryo.” Soubi frowned at him.

Ryo blinked.

What the hell was happening between them?

It was like he didn’t live here anymore.

“Does Kaito know?”

“Of course, he took me there the first day. He helped me with the registration forms and choosing a major.”

“You couldn’t have asked me?”

“You were at work, Ryo. Seriously, it’s no big deal. I haven’t even started yet, I’m pretty sure they’ll be plenty of forms—

“That’s not the point.” Ryo pushed his chair back and stood. “How can you not tell me about something this major in your life?”

“Ryo-san—

“Excuse me, Sakura.”

Ryo left the kitchen in quick strides and went upstairs. He pulled off his tie, threw it on their large bed in the bedroom, and started stripping. Ryo headed into the shower hoping the hot spray would clear away the blazing jealousy in his head.

***

“Go talk to him,” Sakura urged Soubi. “He’s feeling left out.”

“I think he needs a few minutes to calm down. Go on and eat, stop worrying about us.”

Sakura sighed and rubbed her belly.

“How can I not worry? I heard you guys arguing in the living room. And now Ryo’s walking away from family dinner, that’s not right.”

“Well, maybe the problem is that it’s not really a family dinner.” Soubi pushed his chair back. “We’re all crazy for trying to make this work, Sakura.”

Soubi started clearing the table, taking Ryo’s uneaten food to the kitchen sink. How the hell had such a lovely day turned into hell?

He fussed over Sakura, getting her to finish her food. She kept him company as he cleaned up in the kitchen and they went to a lounge upstairs to watch television. Sakura fell asleep in the middle of her favorite drama. Soubi woke her up and bundled her off to bed. When she was tucked in, he closed her door and stood in the hallway staring at the master bedroom doors with dread.

Soubi paused in the lounge to turn off the television and fold the blanket Sakura had been using. In the middle of folding, he cursed his inability to face Ryo’s unidentified emotions. Because that’s what they were: unidentified, irrational, unjustified jealousies and Ryo owed him an apology.

Dumping the blanket on the couch, he stalked toward the master bedroom and flung the door open. He stopped short when he found Ryo sound asleep on his side of the bed the covers riding low on his naked waist.

“Bastard,” Soubi mumbled under his breath as he entered their room and closed the door.

Ryo was being unfair.

***

“You owe Soubi an apology,” Sakura said, early the next morning. She stood leaning on the doorjamb in the kitchen watching Ryo make coffee. “He was telling you something important and you flew into a rage.”

“Are you his champion now?”

“He’s growing on me. He has a certain innocence that makes everything seem easier. You weren’t very nice last night.”

Ryo braced his hands on the counter.

“It just happened.”

“What’s really going on?” Sakura asked with a frown. “You’re not yourself lately.”

“My mother is pushing to separate the Asada Group despite having promised not to. Before we moved in here a month ago, she hadn’t found the support to make it happen but now she has it. She’s making trouble for me. She keeps finding new ways to control everything I do.”

“What does she have against you?”

“I’m gay, Sakura. I’m in love with a super model that dated a rock star, got high on ecstasy and slept around with any willing body up until five months ago. Oh, and my brother was killed by drug dealers. My reputation is shredded to bits. No one in the board trusts my decisions, my father is getting skeptical and I have no way to fight my mother. We’re going to lose everything if she keeps this up.”

“I didn’t realize I was such a burden to you,” Soubi said, his voice laced with pain.

Sakura gasped.

Ryo lifted his head turning to look at Soubi standing a few feet away, his slender body wrapped in a royal blue gown, tears tracking down his cheeks.

“Soubi—,” Ryo started.

Soubi turned and ran back upstairs with a soft sob.

Ryo stared at Sakura for a moment then because he had no idea how to fix this, he turned and swept the coffee maker to the floor. The loud crash satisfied his frustrations.

***