To Have and to Hold - 20. Chapter 20

I could stay here forever. It is heaven. So peaceful after all we have been through. The smell of the ocean, the caress of the breeze, the beat of another heart beneath my cheek and the soft, oh so soft, touch of feathers on my skin. I feel alive in a way I have never felt alive before. Perhaps it is the fact that I have been so close to death but suddenly life tastes so sweet.

We have been still for a very long time. There is no need for movement, no need for speech. Kai’s arm around my shoulders is strong and it makes me feel safe. I was such a bloody fool. This is my home, my only home, here, in his arms wherever we are, wherever we go he will always be home to me. I am so happy I feel that my heart will burst.

As though he senses my thoughts he stirs and rubs his cheek against my hair, kissing me softly. It makes me shiver. I am so lucky, to be here, with him. He is my life, the best thing that ever happened to me and oh so worth every moment of pain and suffering.

It is as though the last few days never happened. I feel clean and pure and bright, made new. I glance at the feathers enfolding me, close to my face and laugh… yeah made new… literally.

“What are you laughing about?”

“Life.”

“Ah… that.”

“Yep.”

“We’re going to have to leave soon. The sky is lightening and it won’t be safe. We’ll be seen.”

“I know. It’s just….”

“Yeah, I know, isn’t it?” He sighs and I know he is thinking what I am thinking.

So what happens now?”

“I promised Gabriel that when it was all over and I was sure you are alright I would go back to the Castle with him. He has a war to fight and I promised to help him fight it.”

“Okay, sounds like fun.”

He turns and looks at me with grave eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Well, it seems to me we have two choices. We can either go back and face whatever comes or we can run away, and I have learned that there is no point running away… whatever you are running from always catches up sooner or later, in one way or another.”

“True. You HAVE learned your lesson well.”

“I had a good teacher.”

“You ready then?” I can tell from his voice he doesn’t want to say it any more than I want to hear it.

“No but then I will never be ready so as well now as any other time I suppose.”

It is bitter to unfold, separate, feel the bite of the wind on our bodies as our feather blankets are withdrawn, but I have to admit that my heart soars with exhilaration as we lift into the sky, swoop over the sea, chasing each other, rising as high as we dare to plummet as fast as we dare and get as close to the waves as we dare. I am sure that as time passes we will dare to go, higher, dive faster skim nearer.

We choose a place far up the coast, deserted, wild and rocky and it is hard to walk at first after being so wild and free. And yet, as we stroll hand in hand along the cliff path, with the sun rising over the horizon, turning the sky crimson, I can’t help but think, again, that life is sweet.

*-*-*

Sanctuary is sleeping when we arrive. There are lights on here and there, visible to us alone through the thick blackout curtains across the windows. The sun is high now and we do not expect there to be anyone awake but, as soon as we step through the door we are met by Beth.

“Hi. What are you doing here?”

“Hush, you have to go.”

“What do you mean ‘go’? We only just got here.”

“I know, I saw you. Gabriel had me wait here for you. He said go to the house and he will come to you as soon as the sun goes down.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“No time to explain. Just go. Quickly. Marc, shield as hard as you can.”

“Why?”

“Just do it. Go.” She was looking as stressed as I have ever seen her, she is usually such a calm person. I am suddenly alarmed and I turn to look at Kai. He is looking at her with narrowed eyes, then he turns and stalks back out through the door. I follow but, before I can close the door behind me I hear footsteps and, turning, Gabriel appears, a strange look on his face.

Without pausing he strides across the hall towards us and I have to yank Kai back inside and slam shut the door, just in time, before he reaches us. I am surprised, shocked even when he hugs me, pulling me close and tight for a moment before releasing me and stepping back.

“It’s good to see you looking so well Marc. Beth has given us some very basic details and I hope for your sake that you really are feeling better because we have visitors. It is a shame you did not come back before dawn and we could have intercepted you outside. Unfortunately your entrance was noted.”

“Visitors?”

“Malakim.” He spits out the word like a curse.

“What’s that?”

“It’s you hun. I think that when... whatever happened, happened... you sent out a signal and it was received loud and clear.”

“By whom?”

“You’ll see. Just be careful, be very careful. The Malakim are tricky. Don’t let down your guard, not even for a minute. They’re in the library and we had better not keep them waiting.”

As I follow Gabriel I feel... rattled. I am not afraid as such but I am tense and nervous. I look at Kai but he is completely closed down. I remember what Gabriel said and fortify my shields as much as I can. I am painfully aware that I am very new to this and I have no idea how effective it is.

When we enter the library I immediately identify the Malakim although there are others there I don’t recognise. They are not the same as the vampires, they are taller, lighter; they have a glow that is not seen with the eyes. I can see the shadow of wings behind their shoulders, invisible unless you know where to look, what to look for.

There are two of them and they own the room, their presence is enormous, I can hardly bear to look at them. It is clear that most of the others in the room, including to my surprise, May are intimidated by them, feeling uncomfortable in their company. Kai and Gabriel are merely watching, coolly and, again to my surprise, both are drawn up close behind me protectively. Somehow it makes me feel more unsettled than comforted.

They turn as we enter and, without preamble they stride across the room and stand before me staring, one slightly behind the other. They are both tall, taller than the vampires but not, I realise with some surprise, taller than me, or Kai. I am unaccountably glad, relieved by this.

The one in the front is blonde, his hair like a cascade of white gold around his shoulders, curly and fine, the picture of an archetypal angel. What isn’t quite so archetypal is the look on the chiselled planes of his face and in his cornflower blue eyes, which can only be described as cold fury. He is a big man in every way, his bulging muscles defined under the thin cloth of his shirt, his menace intensified by the sword strapped to his waist, its blade blood red looking as though it is on fire with blazing flame.

The other, standing at his shoulder, one step behind is slighter although no less tall. His hair is shorter, spiked out around his head and is a darker blonde tipped with red on each spike. His eyes are a deep purple and he is less angry and more... curious? Sad? Thoughtful?

Neither smile but stare at me with an intensity that is acutely uncomfortable. It is all I can do to meet their eyes, but I do, forcing myself to stand tall beneath the icy gaze. I am sure they can see through my shields, my charade in an instant, see how frightened I am, sense it, smell it.

“This is the one?” His voice is soft and melodious but it drips with menace and the sound of it makes me shiver.

“This is Marc, yes.” I smile inside but keep my face carefully neutral.

“He is shielding. I sense nothing.”

“That is not my problem. If you were more friendly perhaps he wouldn’t feel the need to.” Wow, even Gabriel is defending me. Is this encouraging or even more frightening... jury’s out.

The Malakh turns the full weight of his gaze on me and I feel the pressure of his will against my shields. I have never felt anyone deliberately test my shields before and my defence is an automatic response. His eyes narrow but he doesn’t seem to press further.

“You must withdraw your shields. You must allow yourself to be scanned so that we can assess what you are, what threat you may be to us.”

“What? Threat? I’m no threat to you. I don’t know you. I don’t want to know you. Don’t tell me what I MUST do.”

“Do not be mistaken into thinking that you have a choice in this young one. You WILL be scanned. It can be done here, with your co operation, or we will take you before the Council and they will not need you to lower your shields voluntarily.”

“There are always choices Remi’el. Don’t you be mistaken in thinking that we will stand by and allow Marc to be taken anywhere or have anything done to him without his consent.”

Remi’el’s hand goes to the hilt of his sword as his eyes turn to Gabriel, a golden light flickering deep within.

“For you the choice is simple; you stand in our way... or you don’t. If you do then we will take what we want anyway.”

“You are guests in our home Remi’el. You are bound by the codes of honour as are we. Here’s your choice... would you risk war over this?”

“Woah, hang on a minute. War? Isn’t that going a bit far?” The minute I open my mouth I regret it because it brings Remi’el’s burning eyes to bear on me again and they make me squirm. “I... I er... I don’t want to be the cause of a war.”

“Then co operate with us.”

“What... what would I need to do?”

“You? Nothing.” He speaks with barely concealed scorn as though the very thought that I would even consider myself capable of being able to do anything is laughable... hmmm he can’t get through my shields though. “Lower your shields and allow yourself to be scanned.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that we analyse the source and nature of your energy, your key signature, your being. We assess precisely what you are and what you are capable of.”

“And how do you do that?”

“I don’t... he does.” He flicks his head over his shoulder to the man standing behind him who watches me with impassive eyes. Although there is nothing remotely similar in the way they look there is something about him that reminds me of Salem and it makes me shiver.

“I... I don’t know.”

“I want to know exactly what you are intending to do before you go anywhere near him.”

“How touching. Not quite so good at shielding are you halfbreed? I don’t need scanning skills to know what YOU are.”

“Don’t speak to him like that or you can fuck off for any co operation from me for anything.”

I am surprised by the power of the anger invoked in me and the Malakh takes a step back. Suddenly I am confused. I feel strange and everyone is looking at me, none more so than the spiky headed Malakh.

“What?” I realise that Kai’s hand is on my shoulder, his fingers digging into me. I turn and he takes a half step backwards.

“You.... you er... your eyes hun, your eyes have kind of gone freaky.”

“What do you mean freaky?”

It was the slender Malakh who spoke. “Vampire energy is of blood and Malakh energy of fire. Both evoke flames and it would seem that together the flames burn brighter.” His voice is breathy, dreaming, as though he is only half in the world. His eyes look strange, almost drugged and looking into them I feel... I feel.

“No!” Everyone is looking at me again and this time I don’t care. “Don’t try to control me!”

“Is that what you thought I was doing?” He smiles. “There is no controlling you.”

Remi’el gives him quick sharp look then turns his burning eyes back to me, his knuckles white on the hilt of his sword. “We can do this the easy way, if you will allow yourself to be scanned here and now, or we can do this the hard way when we take you before the Council... but make no mistake we WILL do this.”

I am suddenly and unaccountably terrified. There is no mistaking his tone. Kai and Gabriel step closer so they are touching me, on either side, lending physical as well as emotional support. I know that Kai is fingering the long dagger he always wears at his hip and Gabriel will undoubtedly have a weapon on him too but neither have anything that compares with that sword. No one in the room has anything to compare with that sword.

I look around, everyone is tense, ready to spring. Yes, they will probably be able to subdue the Malakh but there is no way that they will be able to do it without that sword coming out and doing some damage.... to whom?

“Wait. I don’t want..... I can’t let this turn into a war. It’s no big deal. Whatever.”

“Marc, are you sure? You know what it is likely to entail.”

“Yeah. I have an idea. Not looking forward to it but it has got to be preferable to a war.”

Kay’s fingers tighten on my shoulder. “Marc.... I don’t know, I don’t trust them.”

“Hell no, but... do I have to keep saying it... it has to be better than a war.”

“Okay. If you’re sure.”

I have not taken my eyes off Remi’el, his sword, his eyes, his twisted smile.

“Good. Lie down.”

“What? No.”

“Please yourself. Cephal’on...!”

The other Malakh steps forwards. He is not like Salem, nothing like Salem. He is far more dangerous and every atom of my mind, body and soul is screaming ‘Run’. But I don’t run. My mind is full of the blood red sword and the image of Kai, leaping in front of me, falling to it and so I grit my teeth and stand firm as he stands before me and puts his hands on my shoulders, brushing Kai’s out of the way.

“Step back.”

“Not a chance.”

“Your energy field is overlapping. I can’t read him when you are close. Step back.”

“Marc?”

“It’s alright. Do what he says. I can take care of myself.”

But I can’t, I know I can’t. As soon as he touches me I am lost, my sight darkening, my mind slipping.

“Relax and let me in. I don’t want to hurt you but I will if I have to. Open to me.”

His eyes are enormous, the pupils wide and growing wider, swallowing me in their darkness. I am trying to relax, to let down my shields but it is hard because I am so tense, so afraid. I feel his will enter me. At first it is like a knife, gently probing, prying at the edges of my defences. I am trying so hard to let him in but I can’t, I feel my heart beat increasing and I am shaking, trembling under his hands. The feeling of probing intensifies and I feel invaded. Something flares in me, I feel the fire kindle in my eyes and Cephal’on takes an involuntary step backwards.

“You said you would not fight me.”

“I.... I didn’t mean to. I’m not trying to. It.... it’s just....it’s hard. It feels like an invasion and I... I can’t... I can’t let myself be invaded.”

“Then I will try something different. But this time you must relax. I will not tolerate attack again.”

“Alright. I’ll try.” But there is something in me, a spark that is smirking and thinking... tolerate? Huh!

“Close your eyes.”

“I don’t...”

“Close your eyes.” This time it is a command that lashes out mentally and I am compelled to obey. My head snaps back and my eyes close. I am instantly tense and defensive even though I am willing myself to relax and be calm.

His hand slides through my hair to the back of my head, his touch gentle. A warm tingling sensation seeps into my neck spreading over my shoulders and into my head as his will flows into me, not like a knife but like a river of molten gold. The sensation is not unpleasant but it is... it is... I open my mouth to... speak? cry? scream? but, before I can make a sound his lips cover mine and he steals it.

I feel his other hand slide down to the small of my back and pull me hard against him and, at first I think that his tongue has entered my mouth, but it can’t be because it is flowing, it is pure energy, flooding me, flowing down my throat into my stomach, my lungs, my brain, freezing me, possessing me.

That is when I realise what he is doing and I start to fight. I try to gather my energy, to struggle in his arms, to pound against his chest but it is too late, I am helpless. He is not reading me he is possessing me, binding me, stealing me. I open my eyes to nothing, I am blind, shut in a world of golden darkness, and the last thing I remember is screaming into the silence, over and over.