To Have and to Hold - 21. Chapter 21

When I feel Marc’s fear, see him stiffen, struggle and then go limp in the arms of the monster, not even Gabriel can hold me. But I no longer have my hand on my knife or my mind on the Malakh. I leave that to others. All I care about is that I catch him before he falls.

And I do. I catch him and pull him hard against me, falling to my knees with him in my arms. I stare down into his face and my heart is gripped with a horror so deep, so profound that it feels like it will shatter into a million pieces.

His eyes and lips are open. His breath emanates from him in sharp bursts of glittering, sparkling golden smoke shot with stardust. It settles on his face, on my hand where it cradles his cheek and gilds the skin. His eyes... his beautiful eyes are wide and staring. All trace of blue is gone, there is no iris or pupil, only a solid mass of gold, reflecting my own face back at me. Beautiful, empty, cold, dead.

“What have you done?” I look up at the Malakh. The room is in chaos. Chairs and tables have been overturned. One of the Vampire Council is lying, bleeding on the table while another is clutching a bleeding wound in his arm. Remi’el, his sword drawn, dripping blood is on his knees with May’s knife to his throat and Cephal’on is standing, immobile with Gabiel’s pressed against his, a trickle of blood marring that soft white throat.

“It was necessary.”

“Necessary? Necessary? What have you DONE?”

“It is reversible. Whenever I choose.” The way he stresses the ‘I’ is significant. He knows he is in a difficult position and he doesn’t want a war any more than we do. I am trying to be calm, trying to keep perspective, to care about what happens to everyone else, to anyone else but whenever I look into Marc’s face, his blind eyes, all I care about it making someone pay.

Struggling with control I gently lower Marc to the floor and get to my feet. I walk slowly towards the one called Cephal’on, trembling with the effort of not tearing out his throat. I am aware that my fangs have lowered with the thought and that my eyes are filled with fire. I can tell by feel but also by the looks in the eyes of all those who see me.

Cephal’on shrinks backwards. Gabriel is staring at me, his hand trembling where it holds the knife against his throat. Very slowly I lean forwards and lick the blood from where the knife has nicked the skin and I am aware that my flame turns red.

Raising my head I bring it very close to his face and brush my lips against his, smearing them with his own blood and whisper.

“Know this, angel. Harm him, in any way, and angel or no angel I will damn you to an eternity in a living hell. I raise my hand and cup his face, forcing his head back and let my white hot, red energy flow into him. Read that.”

He gasps, his eyes flickering and I am immensely satisfied by the pain in them. Now it is the other who speaks.

“It will do you no good to harm him, halfbreed. If you do your lover will remain locked in torment for all eternity.”

He has my attention... oh so fast. “Torment?”

“Not yet, but it will come. At present he merely wanders, lost. When he realises that he can never find his way home, then will come the torment.”

“Release him.” My voice is hoarse, almost a hiss and I am angry that it shows weakness. Marc is my weakness.

“When he returns with us we will release him.”

“You tricked us.”

“We need him.”

“You tricked us.”

“We had to be sure you would come. By any means at our disposal. Any other way could have meant war. This way you can do nothing but comply.”

“Don’t be so sure that this does not mean war my friend.” The tone of Gabriel’s voice chills me. He has always hated the Malakh, hated their arrogance, hated their condescension, hated the fact that they are stronger, more powerful than he is. I realise that he would welcome a war and I shiver. I would not.

“If we come with you will you guarantee our safety?”

“We? Surely you do not think that the invitation is open to you halfbreed? Your presence would not be welcome in the City of Gold.”

“Check again Malakh. There are three to travel this road or the message I will send home with your broken bodies is one of war.”

“Now you make me want to weep with laughter vampire. It will be a dark day indeed when demons walk the streets of heaven.”

“Don’t make me laugh Malakh, you are as much a demon as I am, more so, and there is nothing heavenly about the City of Gold.”

“Perhaps you are right, but the fact remains, you will not be welcome there.”

“Welcome? I care nothing for my welcome. But I do care for my friends and I will travel with them, and you will guarantee our safety. Now contact your master Remi’el, the ones who hold your leash and let’s get on with this, you begin to bore me and when I get bored I get creative.” He runs the flat of his blade almost lovingly over the exposed skin at the neck of Cepahl’on’s shirt sliding it over the collarbone to suddenly flick it upwards slicing through the silky material to press into the soft flesh beneath his chin. The angel stiffens even more, his eyes wide but still proud.

Remi’el narrows his eyes and snarls, then he seem somehow to fall backwards into himself. I know that he is projecting himself somewhere else, communicating with home.

As soon as I am sure that things are moving as they should I have other, more important things to concern my mind. Ignoring what is going on in the room I kneel down on the floor again and take Marc into my arms, cradling his head against my shoulder stroking his hair and staring into the cold gold mirrors that used to be his eyes.

I can’t believe that I find myself in this situation again. After everything he had been through how could I have allowed this to happen? How could I have trusted them? How could I have let them take him so easily? I am angry with myself that I was so easily fooled, bitter and guilty that I have betrayed him so badly.

“Don’t stress. It wasn’t your fault.”

The voice is so clear and close that I think at first that I have heard it with my ears and I look up to see if anyone else has heard. However, although Gabriel and May are both looking at me, their eyes full of concern; neither they nor anyone else looks as though they have heard anything.

I extend my mind and feel a soft, familiar touch. “Marc?”

“It’s alright, don’t worry. I’m safe, I’m here.”

“But... but he said....”

“Yeah, I know but he underestimated me I think.”

“You think?!”

“I can wake up if I want to, do you think that would be a good idea?”

“Yeah I think it would be a good idea. I have been scared half to death seeing you like this.”

“But if we are going to that place with them... the City of Gold shouldn’t we have some surprises up our sleeves.”

“Oh you’ll surprise them I’m sure; you surprise me every bloody day. You know about the City of Gold? Have you been aware the whole time then?”

“Not the whole time, but most of it.”

“But how... they said...”

“Yeah, they said a lot of things. It was easy once I knew how. He really isn’t that much different to Salem.”

“I think you should come back if you can. As long as he thinks he has you trapped that freak Cephal’on knows he has me in the palm of his hand, that I won’t do anything at all for fear of him hurting you. That would just be too difficult an act to maintain. Besides he’s a tricky one and I would prefer to have you watching my back when he is around.”

“Not as tricky as he seems.”

Marc’s lips twitch into a smile and he slowly blinks. When he opens them again his eyes are as they used to be, clear and blue and all the more beautiful because I had been so afraid of what they had become; that I would never see them again this way. He winks and suddenly he is on his feet.

Cephal’on cries out in shock. At first he shrinks back and then takes an involuntary step forwards which could well have proven fatal if it had not been for the fact that Gabriel is also so shocked that the knife is loose in his hand.

“Marc?”

“How... how did you break free?”

“Simple. You underestimated me. You thought that if you imposed your will on me, took me somewhere I have never been before and left me I would just wander around in circles chasing my tail. Think again. I have some important news for you.”

He crossed the floor in a heartbeat and is suddenly very close to a stunned Cephal’on. Remi’el by now is also present and awestruck.

“Vampire energy is living blood, it is red fire. Malakh energy is flames of pure gold. Between the two I’m a fucking furnace. Don’t... ever... fuck... with...my... mind... again.” His eyes are boring into the Malakh and I don’t have to see them to know they are on fire. I can see that from the faces of those who are looking at him, they are masks of fear.

“But... but how... how did you break free? How did you get out?”

“You made a mistake. You assumed that I would be lost and afraid, I was neither. The simple fact is that I found the landscape familiar. I have been there before. Last time I jumped off a cliff.”

“No....”

“If you have a better explanation then by all means believe what you wish. Now, I have no wish to be responsible for starting a war so I will come with you to wherever you want me to go. So will Kai and Gabriel.” He glances at Remi’el who nods slightly. “Before we leave this place you will personally guarantee the safety of all there of us. This is a diplomatic mission and while we are gone every vampire in existence will be informed of this and if we are harmed in any way there WILL be all out war, and you know it’s a war you can’t win.”

Again Cephal’on’s eyes widen. “What do you know of that?”

“Everything you know. In future you may do well to remember that when you pour yourself into someone like that, so completely, then your essence becomes part of theirs. I know everything you know, everything.”

He raises his eyes to Rami’el who goes stiff and still. “Can this be true?”

“OH yes, my friend this can and, indeed is, true. That is why I am coming with you. I will help you if I can.” His voice changes and becomes serious and sincere. “I understand. I know why you tried to trick us and I don’t condone it but I understand and I will help, so will Kai, if you will let us. This is something that affects us all, and of course we will help. What I don’t understand is why you didn’t just ask in the first place.”

The Malakh look stunned, both of them. Come to think of it so do the vampires and I am feeling a little confused myself, but I know Marc well enough now to not ask questions at a time like this.

“Wait a minute. I didn’t say I was going to help anyone with anything. I was going to the City of Gold to protect you and Kai and now there is no need for anyone to go or for anyone to need protecting.”

“That is true, but there are other needs now Gabriel. We have to talk to the Sanhedrin Malakim. There is a lot going on out there that we have no idea about, although it ties in with your own issues. I can assure you that if you go to the City of Gold you will not be turning your back on your own war but setting your face more clearly towards it.”

“Gods, you are even starting to talk like a Malakh, in riddles.” But he does not sound angry, only amused. So it seems we are going to heaven.

*-*-*

The journey to the City of Gold has not been easy. We have had to travel through a star gate and we are not used to it as the Malakh are. Their cities are not of the earth as one would normally understand it, although once they were and now they co exist side by side, accessed by the star gates. The journey is hard on us because our bodies are not used to this form of travel, not even Gabriel has been through a star gate before.

It is hardest on Marc who has grown more and more withdrawn and quiet. I don’t know whether this is because, after everything he has been through, he is physically weak and tired or because he is worried and stressed about what we will find at the end of the journey. He will not speak to me of what he has learned from his connection with the Malakh, he won’t talk about anything. When I try to talk to him he simply smiles and rests his head against my shoulder.

I am feeling ridiculously protective of him. I know that the Malakh are discussing him. They give him sly looks all the time and I can’t fathom what they mean, what they are thinking. Are they accepting him or seizing him up for... something. He seems to be unaware of it all, his eyes on the horizon, lost in thought. He is completely distracted and I feel that it is down to me to take care of him, to protect him when he is vulnerable.

Not that he is vulnerable. I am not unaware of his power. I can feel it, I always have. It is a shock sometimes to remember that I am the same. He is like a fire burning in a hearth... contained but ready to burst out at any time if the situation is right for it.

The City itself is a disappointment. It is a nice city, a beautiful city but it is no city of angels. It is a twisting mass of streets filled with all the usual things one would expect from a City that is twice the size of New York, including the less pleasant aspects. We travel through the streets in silence, the two Malakh know where they are going and all we can do is follow, hopelessly lost in minutes.

Although it is night the city is alive. Everyone we pass stops to stare... it is Gabriel they are staring at. It is as though they have never seen his like before... if I think about it I realise that they probably haven’t.

The city is built on a hill and, as we climb it seems that we are climbing out of the dust for the streets become broader, the houses bigger the greenery more lush and the people more stately, less overtly curious. As we approach the brow my expectations become realised. This is what I would have expected from a city of angels.

There are broad plazas surrounded by porticoes and buildings built of a soft pale pink sandstone. Graceful sweeping facades and soaring minarettes give the whole place a feeling of having been spun from sugar. The people here too are graceful and achingly calm, dressed in flowing robes or armour of varying degrees of apparent usefulness. Everyone is calm, everyone is beautiful, everyone is watching us.

Remi’el leads us straight across a large open plaza to a building which has the look of something official. He sweeps up a long flight of stone steps and through an ornate door of beaten bronze. The inside is cool and dark and we are told to wait in a large cavern of a hall hung with tapestries worked in bright colours and carpeted with soft pale rugs over a deep wood floor.

There are a number of pieces of furniture among which is an enormous deep leather sofa. It is so nice to sit and rest after everything that has been happening and I sink into the softness closing my eyes. I am aware of Marc sitting besides me. He lies down, putting his head in my lap with a deep sigh. I open my eyes and he is looking up at me, a strange expression on his face.

“Are you alright?”

He smiles and nods. “Just tired. You look tired too.”

“It’s been a long journey.” He knows I am not talking just about the trip to the city and nods gravely, his eyes shadowed.

“What’s wrong? You have been very quiet ever since we left Sanctuary.”

At first he looks as though he is going to say something then shakes his head and closes his eyes. I let my fingers idly toy with his hair and it makes him smile wistfully.

“Kai, there’s going to be a war.”

“I know. I gathered that much.”

He opens his eyes and looks up at me. “I have never been in a war. I am afraid.”

“Is that what this has all been about?”

He shakes his head. “I am not a coward. I will take what comes but... but... they want... there is something they want from me and I don’t know if I can give it.”

“What? What do they want from you?”

“They want me to be their saviour.”

“What do you mean?”

“When... when that Malakh poured his energy into me I... I got a ‘feeling’ of him I cant say I know everything that he knows but it is a kind of background ‘flavour’ with the things that are of burning importance to him, clear in my mind.

“Once they fought a war against some old enemy, shadows from the past. It was so long ago no one really remembers what they are. They were imprisoned in the earth, through magical gateways. The binding spells put on the gateways are breaking and when they break completely the gateways will open and this old enemy will come back.

“I don’t know what they are only that they are bad, and a threat to everyone and everything, not just Malakh, not just vampires, everyone. And they have a prophesy about someone who will lead them to victory. Someone who is ‘of all the worlds’. They are taking this to mean someone who is human, Malakh and vampire... in other words me.”

“Us.”

He smiles. “In reality, probably not either of us. But they won’t recognise you, because you were vampire first so you are not ‘pure’.”

“They’re right about that.”

He grins. “Not in any way that matters.” He sobered. “They are afraid of me, especially now. They have no idea what I am or what I am capable of, neither do I. But... there is something that puzzles me, a sadness, a sense of ... wrongnesss. I don’t know, I can’t explain. I suppose we will find out soon enough.”

“At least this way we have more of a chance of being able to tell if they are being honest with us.”

“Oh yes, I will be able to tell that. I may not understand everything I have seen or been told, but I have the knowledge, the information within and I will know if they lie, even though I may not understand how or why.”

“That can only be good.”

“Maybe.”

“What are you really afraid of?”

“I don’t know. There is a big dark something in the background. I don’t think even that Malakh knew what it was, or I would have seen it more clearly. But it has something to do with me. It almost feels as though it is reaching out to me and it makes me feel cold.”

I can feel it. When he speaks of it I can feel the cold and suddenly I am terrified. Well, whatever it is it is in for a fight because I am not going to let him go. If I would not let death take him then I am sure that I am not going to lose him to a faceless shadow.