To Have and to Hold - 5. Chapter 5

There are six of them. I should have been more alert. I should have kept the link with May strong just in case. I should have taken him straight home. I should have been more careful. I should have known.

“Rayel.”

“Aw come on Kai, don’t be like that. You sound so… severe. Don’t tell me you are still annoyed with me after our last…. confrontation.”

“Just turn and walk away Rayel. Last time I almost killed you, this time I won’t be so careless.”

I reach out with my mind, desperate, calling for May, for Wolfy, for Shade, for anyone close enough to hear me…. but my thoughts are slammed back at me as he smashes his will into mine like a fist. I can hold him off easily enough but I can’t get through his block. Marc looks afraid. He is so gentle, so sweet, so pure. I am so much more afraid for him than for me. I know what is going to happen next and I don’t want him within a mile of it.

I reach out and take his hand, he turns impulsively to look at me and I send him a message… ‘Run… as soon as I give you the signal, once I can distract them… run… run… run… and don’t look back, don’t ever look back.’ He shakes his head and turns away, his eyes fixed on Rayel and the boys. I am stunned… he intends to stay and fight. I can feel his fear, but it is contained, he is contained. He is calm and steady and ready to kill or die for me.

Shit! This can’t be happening. After all this time, all these years I find someone who is about as close to perfect as it is possible to get, and this is how it is going to end. Well fuck that!

I’m not waiting to see what happens next… dammit I KNOW what is going to happen next and I am damn well going to take down as many of the bastards as I can before they overwhelm us. Rayel always carries a knife, a long knife, almost a sword, tucked into his belt on the left hand side. If I can…

Before the thought forms sufficiently for Rayel to snatch it from my mind I leap. There is a moment of disorientation as I soar over Marc’s head and then I land behind and to the right of Rayel. Even as he begins to turn my arm shoots out, across his belly, snatching the sword and it is at his throat. He goes very still.

“Oh very well done, Kai, very nice. I can see that you have not lost your edge. I had heard you were going soft, I am so glad to have been mistaken.”

“You’ll see how soft I am Rayel. Move so much as a muscle and I’ll cut your throat.”

“You know that you can’t get away. Even if you kill me my friends will take you down.”

“Do you think I care? It’s not me I’m concerned about.”

Pressing the blade of the knife harder into his throat so that the scent of his hot sweet blood is released into the air, discouraging further speech I raise my eyes. Marc is staring at me wide eyed. He looks afraid but he is still calm, still standing at ease, watchful and ready for anything. He has never looked more beautiful, more beautiful than anyone I have ever seen before, more so because I know that this is the last time I will see him.

“Let him go and I will let you live. Lay one finger on him and I don’t care what your goons do to me I will take off your head before they can do it.”

“Well, well, how the mighty have fallen, and fallen hard by the look of it.” Rayel is looking at Marc an expression of poorly concealed lust on his face and I feel his intention moments before his muscles tense.

“Marc run… run now.” The words are ripped from me as I pull the knife towards me slicing deeply as I spin to face what is coming behind. Rayel screams, the sound bubbling from his throat in a red froth that sprays the sand, and falls to his knees. As he goes down his followers scream in rage and suddenly the world explodes and I am fighting for my life.

Very quickly the knife is wrenched from my hand. I am good but not even I can fight five fit, armed vampires. Five? There are only three…. why are there only three? Fear stabs through me and my struggles increase fourfold breaking me free from the two men who are holding my arms. I kick out and have the pleasure of feeling the side of my foot connect with something soft.

As I spin I see two vamps attack Marc. They have been circling him, wary, not quite knowing what to expect… and I would never have believed it if I had not seen it myself. He moves so fast I barely see it at all. In the blink of the eye one of the vampires is face down in the sand, still and unmoving. The other hastily backs away and Marc drops into a crouch. He does not look afraid any more, he looks determined, like an angel of death. It seems as if everything has stopped, frozen in time, everyone is watching him.

And because we were all watching him we were not watching Rayel. He had somehow managed to raise his head, even though it was barely connected to his body. We vampires are a tough breed, especially when our lives depend on it, and when the thirst for vengeance takes us. The first I know of it is when something flashes and catches my attention. His hand is rising, falling.

“Nooooo!”

I am an instant too late. Before I even begin to move forward Marc looks up, our eyes meeting for a moment before his are drawn downwards again to stare in astonishment at the knife buried to its hilt in chest. I do not see him fall. As I begin to move something hits me square in the back and I fall, hard. The weight of the vampire landing on my forces the air out of my lungs and everything goes black.

When I open my eyes I am on my knees. Someone is holding my arms behind me. My chest aches and not just with the pain of being slammed into the ground. Marc!!!! I lower my head so they can’t see the tears in my eyes but someone grabs my hair and pulls it hard so I can do nothing but raise my head and look up into the eyes of the man who stands before me.

I recognise him slightly. He has hung around with Rayel for centuries, but before that....before that. My mind gropes for a name. “Caine.”

“Ah… I see you remember me.” He beams with pride. “I suppose I should thank you.”

“Thank me, for what?”

“For clearing the way for me. I have been walking in the shadow of that freaking psycho for long enough.” He nods behind him to where Rayel’s body lies a little way away from his head.

“Finished the job then.”

“And why not? Like I said he was a freaking psycho. We’ve all had enough of his crap.”

“I suppose it is too much to expect that your gratitude will stretch as far as letting me go.”

His only response was a smile. “Get him on his feet.”

My arms are yanked painfully as I am hauled to my feet. From this position I can see beyond Rayel to the figure still lying motionless in the sand and both anger and sorrow so deep it burns like fire in my guts rip through me. Red mist falls before my eyes and with a roar that surprises even me I tear my arms free, careless of the pain, feeling the joints pop. I know I am going to die and I don’t care. All I care about is that the one person in this whole stinking world I love more than anyone or anything else has been snatched away from me, from a life that he had taken to so naturally, that he had embraced so completely.

Caine’s eyes fly wide as my hands come into contact with his throat and I squeeze with all my strength. Hands come from everywhere. Some grab me, by the arms, the shoulder, the waist, but others don’t bother to grab. Blows rain down. There is a searing pain in my leg as it is swept from under me and I fall. Something warm and sticky is running into my eyes, blinding me and I am spitting sand as my face is thrust into it hard. I am struggling to breathe, both from the sand in my mouth and the weight on my back. My leg is agonizing… what have they done to me.

I can hear Caine gasping. I have crushed his windpipe and I can hear his desperate struggles getting weaker. A voice hisses in my ear.

“Say goodnight, My Lord.” I am shocked. I have not been called that for a very long time. Who is it? What do they know? But I do not have time to wonder because that is when they hit me, hard, on the back of the head and darkness comes.

I come to as they are dragging me across the sand. I cannot move, cannot raise my head but they know I am awake. They drop me hard, half sitting, against the rocks at the base of the cliff, facing east. The pain is indescribable. Every part of me hurts. Glancing down I see that the pain in my leg is caused by a knife wound, a deep gash from mid thigh to knee bleeding heavily, turning the rock pool in which I am half sitting instantly red.

My head hurts so badly I can barely keep my eyes open but when I try to let them close to escape the agony of consciousness I am shocked awake by a sudden deluge as someone pours water over my head. Coughing, my eyes stinging from the salt I try to see who is standing before me but, between the salt water in my eyes and the pain in my head it is impossible to make out anything more than a dark figure, outlined against a lightening sky.

“Much as I would like to stay and watch you die…. oh and in case you are interested your boyfriend is not dead yet either, I’m afraid that I have more pressing business. It’s about half an hour to sunrise and …. oh, say fifteen minutes at a run to the nearest shelter. You might make it…. maybe… on your own. But you won’t carrying him. So there’s your dilemma, My Lord.” The sarcasm was heavy in his voice which is disturbingly familiar. My clouded brain struggles to make sense of it. Who is it? How does he know who I am? Why is he doing this to me?

“Please….” My mouth is dry, it is a struggle to form words in a head full of burning cotton wool and force them out through parched lips.

“Are you begging me? The mighty Kai Konstantin begging me? Surely not. Surely you have more pride left than that.”

“Not me… him. Please. He is young, he is special, he deserves…..”

“Oh my, how touching, it must be love. Come on boys. Move out.”

“Please….” but my voice is drown in the roar of engines as the figure disappears from my sight and joins his fellows, the tyres of their motorbikes throwing up sand as they scream away into the distance. “No….”

I close my eyes and lean my head back against the rock. One hand, outflung to the side, is lying in the pool and something gently touches it. Pond weed perhaps. My head is spinning, my consciousness slipping away. The touch comes again, urgent, pressing. Something is trying to touch me, to reach me.

The world lurches crazily when I open my eyes, sky, sea and sand swinging, their positions reversed. The feeling intensifies as I turn my head slowly to the side and then settles. Marc has been flung against the cliff face, much as I have but he has slid down and is lying full length on the sand. One arm is outstretched above his head, his hand reaching, straining to touch me. It is his fingers which are brushing my hand.

Wild hope soars in my chest and I let myself slide slowly sideways, closing my eyes and gritting my teeth against the pain and the dizziness. Inch by inch I crawl over the sharp rocks, through the shallow pools, ignoring the pain, dragging my leg, until I am next to him, half sitting, half lying against the cliff. There are no rocks here, only sand. With enormous effort I haul him up to lie across my lap, cradled in my arms.

The knife is gone, too good to have been left behind. The front of his shirt is completely red, soaked with his precious blood. His head is thrown back, his eyes closed and he is so pale, his lips are colourless. Even so I can’t help but kiss them and there is a flicker of response. Sick with pain I raise my head and his eyes flutter open, impossibly blue in the darkness.

“Kai.”

“Sshh. It’s alright. Don’t worry I have you.”

I tighten my arms around him and he groans. “I hurt.”

“I know. You were so brave, so amazing. Where did you learn to fight like that?”

He laughs, his lips twitching into the ghost of a smile. “Twelve years of martial arts classes as a kid. Never been….” he is pulled up by a spasm of pain but presses on biting his lip “never been able to move quite so… so fast though.”

“Babe…. I’m so sorry.”

He shakes his head and smiles up at me, his beautiful eyes filling with tears. “No. Not your fault.”

“Marc. I brought you into this. I should have taken care of you. I should never have let May and Wolfy go, I knew that there would be people out looking, I knew there would be scavengers and predators… I knew there was this danger, this risk and I took it unnecessarily, stupidly, just for the chance to be here alone with you.”

“I’m glad.”

“How can you say that?”

“No… I don’t mean that this…. ah…. huh… not that this ha….happened but…. but…. that you… you wanted… wanted to be alone with me.”

His hair is wet with salt water and blood and it is sticking to his face. I stroke it away, trying to brush away the sand but it clings, making his cheek feel like sandpaper. It is so cold. His eyes are distant and I can feel his consciousness slipping away. I am glad. I don’t want him to be awake, to be aware, when the sun rises. I don’t want him to feel the pain, to know the despair.

He is slipping from my hold and I try to get a better grip. He is soaked through and I wonder if he has been lying in a rock pool too but when I move him I can see that it is not water that is pooling on the sand beneath us. With renewed strength I pull him tight against me and he groans in pain.

“Ssh. It’s alright. You’re safe. Sleep now my love, my beloved. Sleep in my arms and I will watch over you. I will keep you safe. I love you. I love you so much.”

His head grows heavy against my shoulder and he sighs and whispers something but I can’t hear. I just crush him tight against me and hold on.

The sky is lightening rapidly now. It has been a very long time since I have last seen a sunrise and now I am about to see my last sun rise. There is a deep red glow far out over the sea as if someone has set it aflame, and the flames are spreading, speeding towards me with frightening rapidity. Marc whispers something into my chest and shudders. It is almost as though he senses that something is coming, reaching burning fingers towards us and we can only wait, helpless.

I lower my head, unable to bear the sight of the huge ball of flame that is poised to raise its head over the horizon and reach across the waters to touch us, to wither us, to utterly destroy us. I notice for the first time two hunched shapes quite close on the sand. It had been too late in the night for the scavengers to dare to come out, their comrades didn’t care, the sun would take care of them. In only a few minutes they would be nothing more that ash on the breeze.

“Nooo.”

I begin to sob, I can’t help it. How can it end like this? Not like this, not for me… and so much more, not for him. I rock back and forth shaking with the intensity of my pain and my tears. The burning agony in my leg and the pounding in my skull are nothing next to the excruciating tightness around my heart. Marc had been drifting and my sobs shock him back

“Wh…what? What’s happening?”

Incredibly he sounds stronger. He stirs in my arms and turns his head to look up at me. He is frowning. In the growing light I can see how truly amazingly blue his eyes are. He blinks at me.

“Where is the light coming from?”

“From the sun.”

“The sun… but I thought… I thought….” His eyes widen, filling with horror and fear and he shakes his head. “No…. no…”

“Hush. It is almost time. The sun will rise in a moment and then it will all be over. No more pain, no more sadness, no more fear. I will be with you. I will keep you safe. I will love you forever.”

“No Kai, no… I don’t want…. I don’t…. it’s too…. too…. soon.”

“Ssh. When there is nothing else to be done we can only accept. There is no shelter that we can reach in time. We can spend out last moments of life in a desperate struggle, filled with pain and horror and bitterness, we can waste the little time we have together in striving for something else… or we can spend them together, here in peace and love.”

Tears spill from his eyes but he nods and tries to smile. “What…. what will happen?”

“When the sunlight touches us we will burn, turn to ash. It will be very quick, only moments and I will hold you as long as I can.”

“If… if I have to… if I have to die I am glad that it… that it is… is here… with you.”

“I don’t want you to die. More than anything else in the world now or ever, I don’t want you to die and I am so sorry that I have brought you to this.”

“No….no…please. Stop Kai, stop. Don’t be sorry. Don’t die with sorrow in your heart, regret about me. I made this decision. I came to it of my own free will. I entered into this in love and I am leaving it in love. That is not something to regret.” His eyes are burning, filled with light. They are incredible… he is incredible. Lying here in my arms, his life blood pooling on the ground beneath us, moments from a death so terrifying it balks the mind to contemplate it…he is still talking of love.

“Don’t you see? Don’t you see Kai? We are free.” And we are. In that instant we are free. There is nothing in our past to regret, nothing in our present to hold on to, nothing in our future but to give ourselves to the flames and in that there is freedom.

I close my eyes and lean my head back against the rock. Marc curls in to me, his arms circling my waist with more strength that I would have thought it possible he could possess and I feel so strongly protective I wish that I could just sink into to rock or shield his body with my own but it is impossible. There is a strong smell of burning, it must be in my mind.

Tears are running down my face, making tracks in the sand crusted to my cheeks. I feel so weak. My arms, holding Marc so close and so tight are growing numb and he is slipping. Now it is he who holds on… he who has the strength.

“Kai?” I try to bend my head to look at him but I can’t, the pain is too much for me and I am tired… so tired… “Kai, please don’t leave me alone, not now.” The plea in his voice touches me and, although I can’t move my head, I force my eyes open and they are staring upwards. I blink. There is something wrong with the sky.

Blinking against a light that is suddenly impossibly bright, shining into my eyes I force them lower and lower and…..

“Oh fuck. Fuck. FUCK!!”

“What….what’s happening?”

Marc clings to me, ducking his head into my chest as though that could protect him. I laugh suddenly. The sound bubbling from my chest with no control from me… a hysterical edge to it.

“Look. Marc…. look.”

Slowly, painfully, fearfully he turns his head and then he gasps, gripping me suddenly. “Kai… Kai… what?... What does it mean?”

“I don’t know.”

“Kai there’s… there’s ash everywhere. That’s them isn’t it… the ones who were killed? They…. they turned to ash… why… why didn’t we?”

The sun is up. Right there, over the horizon, a burning ball of gas. I can feel its warmth on my face. For the first time in so, so long I am feeling the sun on my face and all I can do is laugh hysterically while Marc struggles to sit up. I wonder dimly how he manages to find the strength, surely he died, surely he is dead… and so am I.

“Kai? Kai, what’s wrong? Kai… talk to me… please Kai don’t… don’t leave me. I don’t know what to do.” and I try, I really try to hold on but my arms are so heavy, my eyes so dark, my hearing so distant that I can’t hold him, not his body, not his face, not his voice and it all slips away.